Welcome back to Unfiltered Stories. Today we share the story of Aziza Kibibi, who has a very shocking story. She's a survivor of CSA, and now here to tell her life story to inspire others and help shining a light to this serious situation.
#survivor #truestory #childhoodtrauma #truecrime #mentalhealth
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Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.
By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.
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#survivor #truestory #childhoodtrauma #truecrime #mentalhealth
Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.
Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.
By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.
🌅 FOLLOW US 🌅
Facebook âž® https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredFB
Tiktok âž® https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredTT
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NewsTranscript
00:00My name is Aziza Khabibi and I survived over 17 years of abuse at the hands of my father
00:07that resulted in four children by him. I had a huge family. My parents and what ended up being
00:15a lot more siblings lived in the same house that my grandmother immigrated from England and
00:23purchased here in America. It was a huge house in New Jersey and essentially we were one big happy
00:30family but there was some tension between my father being that he was American and my grandparents
00:37they were West Indian. So I just remember hearing arguments back and forth sometimes when I was
00:45Well as I got older I started to witness my father hit my mom. The reasons varied from anything from
00:55whether he didn't like her attitude or she confronted him about something in their relationship
01:01to issues that they had with my grandparents and that put a strain on me as a child and my
01:11relationship
01:12with my grandparents and my aunts. Then he decided that he was going to be polygamous. He was going
01:18to adopt the polygamous lifestyle which my mom's parents were completely against and that just
01:26caused more controversy and more tension within the family. But as I got older you know you as a kid
01:33you get used to these things. This is just how your family is. I grew up isolated because I was
01:39also
01:39homeschooled. So along with you know my father being polygamous and him delivering his children at home
01:46he also homeschooled his children. So I did not really build social behaviors that you see more
01:54common in children that go to regular public schools or schools in general. So one day one of my sisters
02:02was a baby. I was eight years old. It was just before my nine-year-old birthday. My mom sent
02:10me to go talk
02:11to my dad. Now the roles that my parents played in my life other than being my teachers and my
02:19my guides
02:19for everything all of my knowledge came from them and all of our rules regulations what was right and wrong
02:26all came from my parents and I didn't because I didn't have interaction with many children outside
02:32of my family there was nothing to compare to. So of course you know I was afraid of my dad
02:38because he
02:39was the one that would dish out punishment if my siblings and I did anything wrong. So when my mother
02:45told me that daddy wanted me wanted to talk to me alone I was so nervous because I could not
02:53imagine
02:54what it was that I possibly could have done wrong. I went into my parents bedroom where my father was
03:00standing and the things that he said to me was actually very encouraging and and he told me that
03:07he was proud of me and that I was very responsible and he was proud of how well I did
03:13with my schoolwork
03:14and helping to take care of my siblings but I still wondered well why are we having this conversation
03:22separately. So within his all of his commending and his praise he then told me that he had to teach
03:30me
03:30how to be a woman which I didn't understand and he said that he had to teach me how to
03:36be a woman
03:37to get to teach me what to do as a wife and that all fathers did this with their daughters.
03:46Then he took
03:46me into this little back room that was a closet and he told me to lay down and he lifted
03:55up my dress
03:55I didn't know what to do he was daddy I could not deny him I could not fight against him
04:03I couldn't
04:04even complain this is how strict he was but at the same time I was so uncomfortable because from what
04:12I
04:12understood no one was supposed to touch my private areas except mommy whenever she had to check if
04:20there was something wrong. He did what he did to me for what seemed like forever at the time I
04:26just
04:26closed my eyes and tried to think of other things like my favorite thing as a child growing up was
04:33my
04:33little ponies so I just thought about my my little ponies and tried to ironically do what my parents
04:41had told me to do whenever I had nightmares which was to have good thoughts so I did that until
04:48I felt
04:49him pulling my dress down and he told me to get up and put up my underwear and he hugged
04:54me and he said
04:55that I couldn't tell anyone and that I couldn't tell mommy because she wouldn't understand um and it
05:02would make her go crazy and I kept the secret after that throughout my childhood he started coming into my
05:10room at night almost every night and continued to you know of course at the time as a child I
05:17didn't
05:17know that it was he performed different acts on me growing up to me when I was 10 years old
05:25that was
05:26around the time that he told my mother and that it was necessary because I had a very bad skin
05:35condition
05:35I had allergies I wasn't allowed to go to doctors or my father basically treated any ailments within
05:43the family so my father told my mom that this abuse that he was doing to me was helping my
05:51health
05:51overall and when she told me that he had told her what he was doing to me I asked her
05:59if at the time
06:00one of his girlfriends did she tell her and um the reason why I asked her this was because my
06:08father
06:08had introduced his girlfriend into me so his girlfriend would come home come over stay the
06:17night with my family my father would get me up and he would me while his girlfriend molested me during
06:23the time so my mother didn't know that so when I asked her well did her name was Akua when
06:30I asked her
06:31did Akua tell her her face looks like she saw a ghost that was the first time that I witnessed
06:37her
06:38confront my father when she confronted my father about what he was doing to me and the fact that he
06:47hadn't introduced another adult to me as well he beat her with a belt and after that she did not
06:55question him anymore when I was about 14 years old my father purchased a house in East Orange New Jersey
07:03the house that he purchased was dilapidated it needs to be renovated uh so we lived there on a
07:10construction site as we rebuilt the house and it was during that time that I got pregnant with my first
07:18child by him I guess it was melancholy like he he didn't have he wasn't upset but he wasn't happy
07:26so I don't know what was going on in his head but when there there it did start stirring because
07:34when
07:35my father's girlfriend the same girlfriend that had me with him found out that I was pregnant she asked
07:43well is the baby going to be deformed and that was the first time I saw him have an emotional
07:50reaction
07:50about it and he said he's like what what what are you talking about and she then started to explain
07:57that
07:58family members close family members that create a child the baby would come out deformed
08:05and that made him very angry that made him very angry and um he yelled at her I don't know
08:12what
08:13else happened between them but that was the most emotional response that I had seen him have
08:20then I I had the baby I started having labor pains very mild labor pains I did not know I
08:28was in labor
08:29I felt like it was mild menstrual cramps and I tried to go use the bathroom now we did not
08:36have running
08:37water we did not have plumbing we didn't have a toilet what we had was a makeshift toilet on a
08:43home
08:44depot bucket with a toilet seat on top of it that then after it got to a certain level we
08:51would go and
08:52dump out in the backyard we'd bury in the backyard so I was sitting on this makeshift toilet and I
08:58was
08:59pushing thinking that I just needed to use the bathroom and water splattered in front of me I
09:06screamed out my mom came running out of the one room that was finished enough for me and my family
09:13to live in and she looked between my legs and she said my baby's head was there so she called
09:20my father
09:21my father and my mom brought me into the room laid me on the mattress that was on the floor
09:29that we all
09:29slept on and my baby just came flying out so I barely had a labor I barely pushed um and
09:40my baby was there
09:42my father checked her over you know he had already been he had already delivered so many of my siblings
09:48with my mom's with my actually with my assistants of some of my siblings and my mother knew what to
09:55do
09:55with delivering children from his other girlfriends and she didn't have any health issues that we could
10:04see she was not deformed like my my father's girlfriend said that she might be and after he saw
10:11that he decided that it was ordained by God that he continued to breed me continued to make children
10:19because the human race was um facing extinction and it would be his blue blood children that would
10:27repopulate the earth by the time I had my son my first son for my father well my first and
10:34last son
10:34for my father I was about 20 21 and um by that time this was our life my father abusing
10:45not only just me
10:47but also three other of my sisters was just a normal thing um one of my sisters did get pregnant
10:56for my
10:56father around this time so we had our sons in the same year then one day my son who was
11:04five months old
11:05um my father was away on a business trip my mom was still home and my brother who now had
11:14become an adult
11:15and was sent outside the family to help financially by working as a graphics designer and editing music videos
11:25he had come to visit and my son woke up with what I later learned was seizures and my brother
11:34convinced
11:35my mom to let him take me and the baby to the hospital when we got to the hospital it
11:42was it was
11:44all new to me and they gave me all of this paperwork to fill out name information they asked me
11:50if I had
11:51medical insurance all of those things my brother did a lot of the talking for me but when I filled
11:57out the
11:58paperwork you know I I had this feeling that this could be an opportunity to indirectly reach out for help
12:07so some of the information had asked for my parents information and also my child's parents information
12:15and I put him down as both so that raised the red flag for the social worker at the hospital
12:24so she came and interviewed me then on one evening a woman comes in and it turned out that she
12:30was from
12:30what was at the time known as dyphus they're now known as dcpnp and it so it turned out that
12:37the doctors
12:38did call state social services and when she pulled me aside the first thing she said to me was that
12:46she
12:46was taking my children so I immediately climbed up I I now had my father threatening me but then this
12:55woman wanted to take my children away and and then she's decided to she did tell my father that she
13:01needed to come to the house she got information about how many other children were at the house
13:06she went to the house and the next time she came back and spoke to me she said that she
13:13was taking
13:14my other children into custody and she was bringing them in the hospital to check them out and my father
13:21was compliant he did not argue about it he did not question it but he maintained his threats to me
13:28that I was to not tell them anything so when I say that all this difficult would
13:36seem like its own tragedy with what my son went through ended up to be a complete blessing in
13:41disguise because then my children were out were taking out of the environment that the toxic environment
13:50that my father had created one day when my father was taking my one of my younger sisters into his
13:58bedroom into a bedroom into a bedroom to rape her I stood up to him for some reason I just
14:04burst out
14:05yelling cursing him out I cursed him out I cursed my my mom out because I realized if she stood
14:14up to him
14:15way years back if she reached out for help herself then if this would not have gotten to the point
14:24that where we were at the time so I held her responsible as well and I took my sister
14:31into the bedroom and locked the door and the next morning I woke up my dad was gone because he
14:39didn't
14:39respond he didn't respond I think he was so in shock at the time he just sat down with me
14:46yelling at him
14:47and after that my mom a friend of the families took my mom to report my father for domestic violence
14:56and then a warrant was put out for his arrest um I don't know that much of the process but
15:04essentially
15:05that's what liberated us from him I ended up moving so my father couldn't find me and then my sisters
15:13and
15:13I got together and we talked about reporting him so we decided to report him to the police it took
15:22them
15:22a year to find him in 2006 he was arrested while trying to leave the country um after he was
15:30arrested
15:31while trying to leave the country he made bail and then he showed up with a child part of the
15:38conditions
15:38of his bail was that he could not be around children he showed up with I guess his most recent
15:44child who
15:45was eight months 18 months old and the judge arrested him on the spot and they put him in jail
15:53with I
15:55think it was a million dollar bail which he wasn't able to pay and he stayed there until his first
16:02trial
16:03which was in 2010 so he was charged for aggravated so he was charged for over I think 75 different
16:11acts
16:12of assault lewdness with a child abuse of a child child neglect and endangerment the list just goes on
16:20and he's now serving 90 years in prison so he did have two trials one for my sister which was
16:28in 2010
16:29and the second trial where I had to testify was for the crimes that he committed against me
16:35that was in 2013 so after escaping my father getting my children back I put myself through college
16:43on scholarships mostly but I graduated magnum cum laude with two bachelor's degrees and I speak out
16:54about these issues I have made myself a voice for those who don't feel that they are strong enough
17:01to speak out for themselves and between my book and my non-profit organization and the work that I do
17:08online through social media it has just really raised awareness about these issues and my ultimate goal
17:15yes is to end things like child abuse and domestic violence and gender-based violence but also shine
17:24light on predators and I know in general you know most people we focus on survivors and justly so
17:31because survivors have to heal in order to function in the world but at the same time we also have
17:37to
17:37focus on the cause of why survivors have to heal which are the predators which are the abusers so my
17:46biggest
17:46message to other survivors is that though it may take time it is possible to heal completely and if you
17:56focus
17:56on valuing yourself and understanding that what happened to you is not who you are and it's really what who
18:07you are
18:08is based on the decisions that you've made and the choices that you make going forward and in doing
18:15that and focusing on yourself and focusing on your healing you can be healed there is a light at the
18:21end
18:21of the tunnel even though some days it don't seem like it it is okay to put your head under
18:27the covers
18:27every now and then but um you know it is possible it is possible to heal very probable to heal
18:35and be
18:35successful and achieve your goals
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