- 6 months ago
Both cousins are at their wits end with each others presence to the point of using their fists instead of their words and with a certain neighbor getting into the mix can Charlie get through to Jerry before it's too late?
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00:20This is what I get for eating too much cow grease.
00:24Oh Jerry!
00:27I know you're in there.
00:30Mr. Cole, I'm still here.
00:33I haven't forgotten about you trying to shoot me.
00:36But thanks to you, I can hardly hear out of my left ear.
00:40And my partner isn't too happy about it either.
00:43And he's going to have some strong work for you if you ever show your ugly mug.
00:47Because I'm going to make it my life's mission to get you infected from this place.
00:50And if it's the last thing I do, do you hurt me?
00:56Karen, come up here.
01:02Hey, puff fish.
01:05Hi Jerry!
01:08Come and give me a hug.
01:10No!
01:28Of course, I'm waking up from one nightmare to another.
01:35Thanks a lot, cuz!
01:38No!
01:39Don't!
01:40Don't!
01:41Don't!
01:41Don't call me a pussy!
01:43I!
01:43Don't call me an asshole!
01:46Don't call me a puppy!
01:48Don't call me an asshole!
02:00Don't call me an asshole.
02:05Oh sorry!
02:09Don't call me a pussy!
02:42La la la la.
03:04Wow.
03:07What a great way to start the end.
03:11Of my crappy life.
03:18What does my curse say?
03:24What does my curse say?
03:30What does my curse say?
03:33No!
03:35No!
03:36No!
03:38No!
03:41I do the
03:42Jolly!
03:44Or Jerry!
03:45Or whatever you wanna do.
03:48It's not normal you doing that.
03:49No, no, no, no.
03:51Well of course it's not normal for me.
03:53Because a spastic like me isn't entitled to return the favour, aren't I?
04:00What are you even cooking there anyways?
04:02Karen's diapers.
04:03No, it's breakfast Jerry.
04:05Are you cooking hash browns or something?
04:08Because they're already brown and they're about to become hash and before you know it they're-
04:12Fire!
04:13Fire!
04:18I shouldn't be surprised at this point of his delayed reactions.
04:24Are you quite done?
04:26Yeah.
04:27Yeah.
04:28Perfectly fine.
04:31Well thanks for obliterating my pan-cut.
04:34Because now that's another item I need to re-buy.
04:36Breakfast is out of the question then.
04:38So uh, when did you even learn how to cook anyways?
04:40Uh, maybe we should just stick to packing a little more as you move out tomorrow.
04:46Yeah.
04:47To hell.
04:48Oh wait.
04:49I'm already living in it.
04:51Oh my god.
04:51Will you stop whinging Jerry?
04:53All you ever do is whinge, whinge, whinge.
04:57Don't think I can't see you mimicking me either.
05:00I don't know what you're talking about.
05:02No, that seems to be the problem with you.
05:04Ever since I've moved in, you've been a miserable sourpuss.
05:08Let's take the house party for example.
05:09Bouncy dee chicha-bouncy dee chicha-bouncy dee chicha-bouncy dee.
05:15Yeah.
05:16A house party that you organised that led to me getting assaulted by some nutcase with a wedding ring on
05:22her finger!
05:23Gabby hit you with a ring, let it go already.
05:25At least I wasn't the one who rolled down a hill with Seb.
05:29Bouncy dee chicha-bouncy dee chicha-bouncy dee chicha-bouncy dee.
05:34Not before his Beyonce laughed at me for no good reason.
05:38Not from where I was standing.
05:48I wasn't even asking you!
05:51Well, it sounds like you were.
05:54Are you going to lift a finger or not?
05:57Why should I, when it wasn't even my choice to move out of this sugar hole?
06:04Well, Jerry, it could have been worse.
06:07We could have still had the elephant in here.
06:10And for once, I'm not addressing you in the room either.
06:13Bouncy dee chicha-bouncy dee chicha-bouncy dee chicha-bouncy dee!
06:34Ow!
06:35What was that for?
06:37You, making my life, H-E double lager, you stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid puss-y!
06:44You, making my life, H-E double lager, you stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid,
07:06stupid.
07:08I didn't know what to say.
07:08Gah!
07:11Don't think so, fool!
07:15I feel lucky that these mattresses cushion my phone.
07:18Had enough call.
07:19Or would your brother or your parent to wipe your ass for you?
07:23I'll give you an ass wipe my blood.
07:25And that I'll make a kill!
07:26And that I'll make a kill!
07:27And that I'll make a kill!
07:27And that I'll make a kill!
07:28And that I'll make a kill!
07:29And that I'll make a kill!
07:29And that I'll make a kill!
07:33Oh no. Please don't tell me that's who I think it is.
07:37Oh god, she's back for another week.
07:41You're off the hook. If I can get one in for Little Miss, come out there.
07:47You mean Little Miss?
07:54Whoever it is, we haven't missed you in the last episode.
07:58Jerry Cole? I'm only going to say this once.
08:02Get your sorry backstone out of here right now, so we can settle this once and for all.
08:07And that's an order. Do you hear me?
08:20Seriously, love. Do you honestly think that by commanding me to do something for you, I'm just going to obey?
08:26What happens if I refuse, like I have throughout all of our past encounters?
08:30Because what then? What are you going to do?
08:33Oh, Kevin, baby!
08:36Otherwise, you'll feel the wrath of my fist in your face, you little punk!
08:40Oh, we've got a Kevin here now, have we?
08:44Mr. Duffy!
08:46Is he stupid or something?
08:49Why don't you quit mocking me before I bring my lads over?
08:52Because one man might be enough, but half a dozen will surely help me rip off every single puny lip
08:56you have!
08:57Oh, but what's all this? What's all this bang on the door? Does that make you tougher?
09:02Now listen here, you little baby!
09:06Hey, don't talk me like that!
09:07I heard how you called her a whale.
09:09Oh!
09:13You need to stop sounding like Foxy Bradford before I tear that rude little tongue of yours out!
09:18Hands off the door!
09:19Then I'll batter your flatmate out as well, and maybe go to the police about your attempting to shoot my
09:23good lady!
09:24Oh, I'm in the hospital! I can't hear anything!
09:31See what I mean, babe? This is what I had to put up with this past year!
09:35Sooner or later, Cole! You're going to get what's coming to you!
09:38Do you know what, Karen?
09:39You can go and suck on...
09:43Hang on.
09:46Kevin Davis?
09:48Yeah? Who is this?
09:50It's Charlie Benson from high school!
09:54No way!
09:55I still remember what you did for me at graduation!
09:57How are you?
09:58Yeah, I'm doing great!
10:00Don't mind my cousin, he's just in a tick-tock mood because he's being evicted.
10:04Oh, well, that's understandable.
10:06You've got to be kidding me right now!
10:08Do you mind letting me talk to my friends, love?
10:10That's the tenth time I've asked to be with my friends, and I...
10:12No, I don't want to see you interacting with that spastic in there!
10:15Excuse me, love, I'm talking to your boyfriend.
10:17No, you may not be excused, because now you've got my big foot, I'm a partner fraterniser with you!
10:22Hey, I told you not to call me big foot!
10:23Hey, as long as you're with me, you will only do what accommodates me!
10:27Because you are now with me, this isn't going to work in the long run!
10:29You can plan that I'm loving your life!
10:31Why should I?
10:31He helped me out in high school!
10:33Unlike you helping me out ever!
10:34What are you talking about?
10:36Huh?
10:37See what you've done now?
10:39And I'm talking to you, Benson!
10:41You've got me a big foot here arguing!
10:43Well, maybe you should take it off with him, you crazy bat!
10:46Come on, Jerry, let's go back in the living room.
10:49Yeah!
10:49I'd rather sort of beg for her than a bunch of boys, just decide to get molested in their childhood!
10:54Just listen to the pair of people and make everyone think that you're nine-year-olds trapped in a dog's
10:58body!
10:59You're very sorry!
11:00I wish I had my gun still!
11:01Why, you stuck-up little!
11:04You listen to me, you wench!
11:06Jerry Cole might be a grumpy so-and-so, but he's ten times the person you'll ever be with!
11:11Well, maybe a hundred, but yeah!
11:14Oh, do you know what?
11:15Maybe you should have told your boyfriend that you were going to ask me out!
11:19Yeah, little Miss Chee!
11:21Hey, you watch your mouth!
11:22You did what?
11:24No, I can explain!
11:27This isn't how it seems!
11:28You weren't making enough effort to spend time with me,
11:31and I just needed a little confidence boost to figure out whether we had the future together!
11:36But it's not like I was cheating on you or anything,
11:39since I haven't actually been physical contact with that spastic in there!
11:42And also, you were being a wet blanket lately, and I keep telling you to grow up-
11:47You know what?
11:47I thought I could put up with your verbal abuse and emotional attacks,
11:50but you know what?
11:51Enough is enough!
11:54I'll ask the ladies to probably put the stuff up later!
11:57Ta-da!
11:57No, wait, Kevin!
11:58You do better, buddy!
12:00I'll take it to the Super Lanes and Post Convention,
12:02and I'll wear that skimmy outfit you want me to wear!
12:04That exposes them on my cleavage!
12:06Just don't go!
12:06Please, wait!
12:07Wait!
12:09Kevin!
12:11Cole!
12:13You have officially ruined my life!
12:16And for that,
12:18I promise you,
12:19the second you set foot out of that flat,
12:22you are going to regret it big time!
12:26And now the promise!
12:28Fuck!
12:29Fight!
12:30Wee-
12:31Woo-hoo-hoo!
12:32Ha-ha-ha-ha!
12:34Ha-ha-ha-ha!
12:36Ha-ha-ha-ha!
12:37Well, come as a beat I itch, ain't it?
12:41Ha-ha-ha!
12:43Ha-ha-ha-ha!
12:46Ha-ha-ha-ha!
12:47Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
12:47Ha-ha-ha!
12:48Ha-ha-ha-ha!
12:50Hey! I'm still here! You said you were going to tear me apart earlier!
12:57Finish me off! I'm right here! Tear me apart!
13:02There's no point there.
13:03You is there, Jerry.
13:06What's that supposed to mean?
13:07I just saved your ass from a Karen Beaton and you can't even thank me!
13:11I wasn't even asking for your assistance!
13:13Oh, you never do.
13:14Well, hell, maybe I wanted to come from that door and knock me out!
13:16Hell, hell, maybe even put me out of my misery!
13:19Because that's what I deserve! That's what us fake laddies deserve!
13:23Oh, what, you mean like Seth's gadgets did?
13:31What indication from that day gave you the impression that I even wanted to see those hunk of jokes?
13:37You're ungrateful.
13:40Hey, don't talk to me about me ungrateful!
13:42I'll tell you anything I want!
13:46I'm sorry, Jerry!
13:49Do you know what?
13:50You blame me for every single thing that messed up in your life!
13:55Oh, sorry!
13:55I'm sorry that I got you out of your comfort zone!
13:58I'm sorry that I introduced you to a couple!
14:00I'm sorry an elephant made us go on a rampage!
14:03I'm even sorry that I'm the apparent reason this is broken!
14:07Which you accused me of doing because of a crummy football match!
14:12Bouncy D! Just a Bouncy D! Just a Bouncy D!
14:27I hope you find everything you're looking for, because I certainly lost it when I moved here!
14:44I don't know why I was murdered!
14:48I don't have funding!
14:48Oh, my God!!
14:49Oh, my God!
14:53What mimics do you think?
14:53And he who save all the way to hide?
14:53He's at home!
14:53Oh, man!
14:53Oh, my God!
14:54He would have a saver!
14:56Oh, my God!
14:58Oh, my God!
15:09Nani!
15:13Nani!
15:19Nani!
15:37Nani!
16:03Nani!
16:13Nani!
16:46I'm sorry for kicking you last week.
16:48You're not a stupid pussy.
16:52You're a good kitty.
16:55I know you meant well when you came in here twice last week.
16:58I scared my cousin.
17:04Just like Zee, Zeb, everyone from that flaming house party, and Charlie.
17:19Charlie.
17:38You're a good kitty.
17:40You are.
17:43How would you like to be nicknamed Bubbles?
17:48Does Bubbles sound good to you?
17:51Excellent.
17:53And also, I could be your potential adoptive father if you like, if that's alright with
17:59you.
18:00Excellent.
18:01You got yourself a deal.
18:08I'm coming, Charlie.
18:12Aha!
18:14I've got you now, Cole.
18:20Later on, it's Thomas and his amazing technicoloured coat of paint.
18:25But first, the old ones without Rick Nail.
18:35Even shows with pointless titles and bad reference to pop culture are boring today.
18:42Charlie.
18:43I'm sorry.
18:44I'm sorry.
19:06I'm sorry.
19:08I'm sorry.
19:08I'm sorry.
19:10I'm sorry.
19:10What the hell does he want?
19:15What do you want?
19:18Um, well, first off, did you say because I-
19:21Yeah, well, first of all, I'm not accepting cousins who reject their family, so goodbye.
19:25I-
19:27Moron.
19:29Cuz!
19:31Can you at least just give me ten seconds to say something?
19:33I don't need you to explain anything to me, alright?
19:36You made it perfectly clear you don't want me around.
19:40Look, I'm sorry!
19:41Okay, Cuz?
19:42I really am.
19:45Charlie, look.
19:47Look, I've been an arrogant pig.
19:49A baboon.
19:50A jerk.
19:51A butthole.
19:52A college jerk.
19:53And anything else that you could call me that's beyond a PG rating?
20:03I'm listening.
20:12All my life, I feel like the whole world's against me.
20:17I've been afraid of what's ahead of me in life.
20:20All my life, I feel like I've been condescended, gas-lidded, and criticized for everything I say or do.
20:34I just- I've been carrying this fear in me my whole life.
20:41Even though it's only been six months or so.
20:45I feel like the only thing to do to protect my mental health is to just, well, just push people
20:51away.
20:52That hurting them might make me feel better.
20:56But-
20:57But-
20:58But the problem is...
21:02It didn't make me feel better.
21:08And, yeah.
21:10I deserve your wrath, as well as the rest of the families, and all my former friends.
21:16And, to an extent, see, Debs, that jumbo elephant from the zoo.
21:22And, even to an extent, Karens.
21:26Even though I think she's a bit of a B.I.H.
21:30And, like, this is my karma.
21:34And, if I have to carry it with me for the rest of my days, then, so be it.
21:39But, what I'm trying to say, Charlie, is-
21:50I love you.
21:55Well, Gerry, there's only one thing I can say about that, isn't there?
22:03Come here, you!
22:06I knew you'd come around!
22:11It's alright, me old Gerry!
22:13It's going to be fine.
22:15We're cool.
22:17I'm so sorry, Charlie.
22:18No, I'm sorry.
22:20I promise I will make it up to you.
22:22You name it, I'll do it.
22:23Charlie Stephen Benson is your boy!
22:30Thank you, Kaz.
22:33You're my boy, as well.
22:35Oh, always.
22:36First things-
22:37Gerry, come!
22:40How does she know where I live?
22:43She must have followed me.
22:45Oh, I'm not having this.
22:46Hey, what are you doing?
22:47This is my mess, Kaz.
22:48Like, I dragged her here.
22:49Like, I started this whole-
22:50Let me sort this.
22:51Kaz, what are you doing?
22:53Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:55We hear you.
22:56Now, clear off.
22:56Never.
22:57I'm going to make it my lifetime's mission to deal with your cousin once and for all.
23:01Oh!
23:02Oh, for my dead body you're going to come after him.
23:04It would be my pleasure to go through you as well.
23:06Because, thanks to you, the love of my lover blocks me on everywhere.
23:09Oh!
23:10Oh, who, who, who?
23:11Oh, no!
23:12Kevin broke up with me because of two people.
23:14She played muslim sticks for nearly six months.
23:16Don't get too ridiculous!
23:17Take out a hike, love.
23:19He's staying here with me.
23:20You don't understand the hicklish language, even if you have to say it to their faces.
23:24Oh, yeah?
23:25Yeah?
23:26Is that what you think about it?
23:27Yeah?
23:29Try this on for size.
23:30Hi!
23:34Talk about a knife by knife.
23:35I don't know, but they don't know by a long shot.
23:39Yeah, that's what I thought.
23:40Off you go.
23:43There you are, Gerry.
23:44Oh, sorry.
23:45Nice one, guys.
23:46It's all yours.
23:48Thanks.
23:53Karen?
23:55Well, what have you got to say for yourself, young man?
23:59I'm sorry.
24:02What?
24:04I truly am.
24:06I want to offer you my most sincere apologies for how I treated you these past six months.
24:11Huh?
24:11I had no right to raise my voice to you.
24:16I'm entitled to your wrath.
24:19And for that,
24:22I beg for your forgiveness.
24:25And just wish the best for you in your life.
24:29Bye-bye.
24:32No!
24:33This isn't how it's supposed to go!
24:36Only I get to decide when this is over!
24:38Only I get to spread my poison and cure my depression!
24:41Well, I'll have you know, Karen, that kindness is the cure to negativity, toxicity, and any other rotten thing in
24:50life.
24:51And because of you, I turned over a new leaf.
24:54So, for the second, hopefully for the final time, I part ways with you on a positive note.
25:00So, bye-bye.
25:02Bye-bye.
25:03Before you go, bye-bye.
25:05Don't you dare patronise me, little boy!
25:07I still think that you are a monster!
25:09Bye-bye-bye!
25:10No!
25:10Hello!
25:11Hello!
25:12Hello!
25:13Bye-bye-bye-bye-bye!
25:14I am a lady, and only I'll decide when this is over, because-
25:18Bye-bye-bye!
25:19Tell the customer to reach out to the cafe, and tell him to unblock me, so that I can tell
25:23him that I am not-
25:24Bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye.
25:26Oh!
25:26I am matured than you, and you will listen to me, because we can make a world a better place,
25:31unlike you boys!
25:32You know what, Karen?
25:33Hey!
25:35That's on the house.
25:38Yee-hee-hee-hee-hee-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
25:43Nice one, Gerry!
25:45Yeah, it actually felt better!
25:47Using kindness instead of, um, well, fire.
25:51Come on.
25:52Let's get you a new place.
25:56Oh, by the way, I heard that that cousin of yours is a pussy because he's afraid of cats.
26:01So I may just very well bring your neighbor's cat around to his sometime.
26:04And we'll see how big of a mouth he has on him again.
26:09Why don't you say that to our faces for once?
26:13It would be my pleasure.
26:18I always wanted to take out a British spas...
26:30Bloody hell, Jerry.
26:40Now, before you start panicking and before you start crying
26:44and before you lot start complaining about violence against women,
26:48I didn't punch her.
26:50No, I didn't punch her.
26:53Not before she came at my cousin with a knife.
26:58I'm not encouraging violence or anything, folks.
27:03But you need to do what's best for your mental health.
27:06And for your safety.
27:08Now that I agree with.
27:11Good.
27:13Do you know what, Kaz?
27:16I'm glad I still have you in my life.
27:18Me too.
27:20Tell you what.
27:22A pint on me.
27:24And then a kebab afterwards.
27:25Yeah, boy.
27:26Yeah, alright then.
27:27And then tell you what.
27:28Yeah?
27:28We'll watch Super Lanes and Fountain Hot 3!
27:31There's a third one?
27:32Yeah, well have you not...
27:33Look, I'm good at that.
27:34No.
27:39That's all, folks.
27:40It's good!
27:41Hey!
27:42Hell yeah!