00:09Welcome back to LitKrit Podcast
00:30Honestly, my husband is very good, caring
00:31But our physical life is not so satisfying
00:34He tries, listens to me
00:37But I can't feel completely happy
00:39A few weeks ago, my husband's best friend and his wife came to our home
00:44His house was repaired
00:46It was normal in the beginning
00:48I went to clean his room
00:51I thought it would not be at home
00:52But he was there
00:54As I went inside, I saw that he was standing in the bathroom
00:58He was standing in the bathroom
00:59He was completely unaware that there was no room
01:02He was crying
01:04I talked to him slowly
01:07He was very emotional
01:08We talked a long time
01:11Then when I started to go
01:13He hugged him
01:14But that hug was not normal
01:15I felt a different current
01:17In one moment, I noticed that
01:21I didn't notice that
01:22What I had never done before
01:24Without saying anything
01:27I didn't notice that
01:27But that moment was not finished
01:29After that
01:30After that
01:30I didn't get into it
01:31I didn't get into it
01:32The only way I tried to ignore it
01:34I remember it
01:35I didn't even accept it
01:37I wanted to accept it
01:38That it affected me
01:39That it affected me
01:40There is a scene in one week
01:42I was only at home
01:44I was at home
01:44My mind was thinking about
01:46I was thinking about
01:47To talk to him
01:48I was fighting myself
01:50This is wrong
01:50You are married
01:51Stop it
01:52But with another voice
01:53I was doing normal
01:54What happened?
01:55Everything is in control
01:56Before I started to talk to normal
01:58Then I started to flirt a little bit
02:00Maybe to test it
02:01Or maybe to prove to myself
02:03That I am in control
02:04He also did flirt back
02:06And we were laughing
02:07Everything is simple and normal
02:09I felt relief
02:10That I am in control
02:12After that
02:13I started to talk to him
02:14A little bit later
02:14I started to ring his phone
02:16I saw
02:16His mobile was in the bathroom
02:18He came to give his mobile
02:20He was in my mind
02:21I was aware of what I was doing
02:24I said
02:24The door is open
02:25Take it
02:25I had shampoo in my hand
02:28I was standing under the shower
02:30He came to the bathroom
02:32He came to the bathroom
02:32I said
02:32I took the bathroom
02:33But he came to the bathroom
02:37I just had to stay
02:38I died
02:39But I didn't stay
02:39I knew
02:40I was going to stay
02:41In the wrong direction
02:44But in that moment
02:45I was not thinking about consequences
02:46I have no idea
02:48They should reach step by step
02:49I came to where I had to go
02:51I should do
02:52The last thought was
02:52That I was cheating
02:53The last thought was
02:54That I was cheating
02:55I couldn't do
02:56But the truth is
02:57If a boundary is crossed
02:58That I can be stopped
02:59But I can stop
03:00In that moment
03:01I didn't stop
03:02When I was in the bathroom
03:02The bathroom
03:03I don't have a problem
03:04I had kept my marriage, my trust, all the risks.
03:08I had guilt on one side, on the other side.
03:10I realized that I was never fully satisfied in my married life.
03:14I was always adjusting.
03:16When my husband came home, I couldn't see him in his eyes.
03:20I felt I was cheating on him.
03:22I told him that I wasn't good at him.
03:24After that, I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop with him.
03:27I couldn't stop my husband at home.
03:28I couldn't stop myself.
03:30I felt like another one night.
03:32I couldn't stop my husband at home.
03:33I went to his room.
03:35He was with my wife.
03:36I was watching both of them.
03:38I didn't know how much it was.
03:40Now, the situation is this.
03:41I am with my husband.
03:43But mentally, there is no more.
03:44Every time there is guilt, comparison, confusion.
03:47I'm falling from inside.
03:48I want to say truth, but I don't want to hurt him.
03:51I love him in truth.
03:53I don't want to compromise in my life.
03:56I know that I have done wrong.
03:58I accept it.
03:59But I'm not a bad person.
04:02I'm just confused.
04:03Sometimes in life,
04:05the truth is not so simple.
04:07There are just decisions and consequences.
04:11Good people also do wrong,
04:12but sometimes they don't understand
04:13how to get out of that situation.
04:16If you are in Poonam,
04:17what do you do?
04:18Please comment.
04:19If you have touched this story,
04:21please follow the literary podcast.
04:23And if you also want to share your story,
04:25send us.
04:26See you in the next episode.
04:27Bye.
04:27Bye.
