00:00Thank you guys so much for coming. This is such a treat.
00:03Thank you for having me, guys.
00:04I love this wine, you guys. It's from Peru.
00:08Oh, it's so good.
00:10Oh, you guys are going to Peru.
00:11Oh, that reminds me of something. We actually have a small, small favor.
00:15Oh, yeah, a small favor. Could you help us out?
00:17Yeah, sure. Yeah, whatever.
00:19Great. While we're gone, can you just wait for the cable guy to come?
00:21He's supposed to come between 4 and midnight. We don't know which day.
00:25Can you do that?
00:25Yeah. Oh, maybe.
00:31Okay, well, we'll text you to remind you like that.
00:35Oh, will you do jury duty for me? Maybe.
00:38Oh, can you check the mail in our houseboat?
00:40Maybe.
00:40Will you lance our cat's boil?
00:42Maybe.
00:43You guys want to do something really fun?
00:44Oh, yes, definitely. Yes.
00:45I have a deal on this. Listen.
00:47So there's a soju tasting in an abandoned car wash. You want to do that? Who's in?
00:51Maybe.
00:52Do you want to sell loose cigarettes on the subway with me? Maybe.
00:54Do you want to prank call the governor's wife? Maybe.
00:56Do you guys want to know about a really good way to get high?
00:58Maybe. Maybe.
00:59Just while we're on the topic of the favors,
01:01will you email my Kickstarter campaign to a thousand of your closest friends
01:04and then see me so I can follow up?
01:06Maybe. Maybe.
01:07You guys have phones, yeah? Maybe. Maybe.
01:10Maybe.
01:10Will you do me a favor? Maybe.
01:11Will you regram my blog? Maybe.
01:13Can I shoot a web series in your bedroom? Maybe.
01:17In nonverbal communication, there are some typical signs.
01:23Perverting your eyes, crossing your arms, and yawning.
01:32In other words, I think that maybe there maybe, maybe means no.
01:37A person could just say no, say no.
01:42You could probably maybe say no.
01:47Wait, do you guys want to be in my acapella group?
01:49Maybe. Maybe.
01:51Will you change your Facebook cover photo to my headshot?
01:53Maybe.
01:54Do you guys want to do this 5K with me in a wet graveyard?
01:57Oh, maybe.
01:59I need a thousand clicks tomorrow. Will you click with me?
02:01Maybe.
02:02Would you subscribe to my vertios?
02:03Will you paint our cat?
02:04Can you wash my lizards?
02:05Do you guys want to join my Soviet poetry class?
02:08Do you want to watch porn on Tumblr with me and then share it?
02:10Will you be a surrogate?
02:11For our embryo.
02:12Can I live vlog you having sex?
02:13Oh my god, put it in your calendars.
02:15Nude capture the flag tomorrow.
02:17At dawn.
02:18On a hill in Prospect Park.
02:20You in? Can you do that?
02:21Oh my god, you guys want to go to grad school with me?
02:24Can you please?
02:25Oh, can I just get a little space here?
02:26Come on, please.
02:27You guys want to get married for me?
02:27Will you floss my butt?
02:29Maybe.
02:30Maybe.
02:32Now that I've given my lesson, give it one more try.
02:39This looks delicious. Can I join you?
02:41No.
02:42No.
02:43What?
02:44No.
02:44No.
02:44A person could just say no.
02:52Security.
02:52Security.
02:54Home security.
02:55Strange women at our table.
02:56No!
Comments