00:00I know that some people just look at us and think she gets to do what she does
00:04she gets to have what she has because she has a white husband. This destroys me.
00:09Hi, I'm Freddie Harold. I was born and raised in France. I'm a blogger and an
00:14entrepreneur and I am also married to a white man but guess what? It doesn't say
00:20what you think it does. We met on OkCupid so we met online. His profile just made
00:26me smile. He had like three times the same photo and he was like super keen on
00:31the photo he's like smiling like this and then like how guys don't smile on
00:34social media they're like side posing and they're like topless or sunglasses and
00:40here's this guy. So I was like I like you. I didn't want him to be my boyfriend
00:45because he was like from the first date he was so keen he was like one day I want
00:49to be married and be married forever and I'm just like oh like who speaks like
00:53that. I was like you like calm down and like I don't know like show some game you
01:00know. But my parents from are from Cameron and they move when they were 25. With my
01:04husband we couldn't come from more different worlds like honestly we're from
01:09different worlds. Absolutely the way we grew up the way we've been the things
01:13we've been exposed to the money we've had completely different experiences for my
01:17husband and I it's mind-blowing before my husband. Persia bringing boarding school
01:22having living nannies, tutors and everything. He is fully aware about his
01:28privilege now and he's becoming more and more radical and I love it. We had to
01:33learn together and we had to learn the hard way that some people around him were
01:38not what he thought they were. At the wedding some of his friends have been awful awful awful awful to
01:46my
01:47friends and some of his friends have definitely like to say the least
01:51prejudice and it was an education for him to even get there. I have had to learn
01:56to be cautious with the word racist and I don't use it very often. I feel like the
02:02second you say that someone is racist have they stop listening because you've
02:05insulted them. Some people are so quick to want to see internal like internalized
02:10like racism etc. I have been attacked on social media because of the color of the
02:16skin of my husband and and then like that majority of the time when that
02:22happens is black people attacking me and this man kept saying what is it we do
02:26like black black European women like African diaspora and your white husband as
02:32if like there's a collective of us like really like like working hard on finding
02:36our white husbands like this needs to stop. It's not like I've gone out of my way to
02:41find someone like to find a white boyfriend. A lot of people around me
02:45were just white. I don't know like I'm from France there's like 65 million people. I
02:51don't think that I have racial issues because I'm married to a white person in a
02:55country where there's only 3% of us. I am the breadwinner. My husband at the
03:00moment doesn't work. He looks after our son, looks after me, like he supports me and like in my dreams
03:05etc.
03:05But you know like I am the one who wants. I cried when I found out I was having a
03:10boy. I didn't want a boy. I was so sad.
03:13I wanted a girl and now I'm just like no no no I want a boy. I needed to have
03:18this boy.
03:19So for me I'm you know really aware of what it is to be black. But then I must admit
03:24that I had not
03:26really asked myself too many questions about black men and it shamed me to admit that.
03:33My narrative was like black women and ever since I've had like a son I feel like the makeup that
03:39we
03:39had in our relationship with our like like with my family around like the relationship I had with
03:45you know like my late father, my brother, all of these things that have really prepared me to
03:51to also be part of the of raising the next generation of black and brown boys. I only speak French
04:00to my
04:00son and Tom only speaks English to him. And before he's white and I'm black we are like from different
04:06countries. My culture like our African culture and also like the French part as well is very very
04:13present in my son's upbringing and will always be. And for this I'm really happy and then like and then
04:19you look at him he has the thickest lips and he has like a wide nose and and I think
04:24he's going to be
04:25oh I just can't wait. It's going to be like this beautiful gorgeous tall handsome man and but we are
04:32very conscious as to how people around us are going to refer to him or how they're going to speak
04:38to him.
04:39My son is I would say he's crazy but he's not he's a little boy he has a lot of
04:43energy he's running he's doing a lot of these things.
04:44He is ridiculously strong and you know like in a nursery they could say oh you know like he's a
04:50beast
04:51or you know like he's problematic and then it's a little white boy they will be like oh he's very
04:56opinionated oh you know like he knows what he wants this is good he's very confident he's assured. If we
05:02teach our boys to believe that they are problematic what are the chances that we are like how many
05:08opportunities are we really giving them. So then like it's so easy to look at teenagers and their
05:13behaviors but if from the age of two you've been telling him that his energy his strength
05:19his stamina his you know his drive all of these are problematic how do you expect him to grow
05:25into you know like a very well behaved or driven teenager or even like like a driven or confident
05:33adult someone who really believes in himself. So my husband is at the top of the food chain
05:39at the very top it's like blonde blue eyes you know like family holidays on the other side of the
05:45world and all of that like but imagine going from being the number one to giving birth to someone who
05:53is almost you know towards the bottom. For my husband I think that makes him so determined to be very
06:01very
06:01educated around races and very educated around his privilege really make sure that his son has the path that
06:10he deserve the same way that he's had a path given to him in all of these opportunities and I
06:15also want him as you want to be
06:17fully aware of his white privilege. I also want my son to keep this in mind that he's also half
06:24white and because of that he's still in a certain tone that might open him more doors than he would
06:29my brother for example.
06:30So I want him to definitely be proud to be both and to use both heritage to really like elevate
06:40the consciousness of both races basically.
06:42This is what I would tell my son this is beyond you this is bigger than you this is a
06:47decision of your higher self or this is a decision of God however you want to see it
06:51it comes from higher and this happens for a reason and you just have to look for how this is
07:02happening for you
07:03and how you can turn this like how you have to turn this into a positive experience for your community
07:10as a consciousness.
07:11I know it sounds cheesy but I fall in love with the person especially when coming to my husband is
07:16like he's like he's Tom he's my Tom Tom like he's my person.
07:21People fall in love. That's it. I don't know.
