- hace 2 meses
Categoría
🛠️
Estilo de vidaTranscripción
00:14How are you, my dear brothers and sisters? Well, Father Ernesto María Caro, to continue what
00:20They were already talking with Father Eduardo, Father Lalo already told us a little bit about it.
00:27Regarding the topic of marriage, which we will focus on in this first part of our participation
00:36In this project we have for you, to prepare ourselves for the sacrament, from the
00:43The spiritual point, which is the most important and the definitive one, because as he rightly said,
00:48I mean, this isn't a contract where, well, we sign another one, renew it, and that's it, right?
00:53In other words, what really happens in the sacrament is something completely spiritual, mysterious,
01:00Because being two, they will begin to truly be only one.
01:05And this, then, is something that God is going to do in you through the sacrament.
01:11However, the church also has a legal aspect, a part
01:17which makes the form, which is what at a given moment also distinguishes the
01:24sacrament, matter and form, the form must be valid, in such a way that the sacrament
01:30not only be lawful, but also valid. And for that, an important part
01:36It's the presentation. It's called a marriage presentation because that's where you're going to introduce yourselves.
01:43their request for the church to marry them, to give them the sacrament, because ultimately,
01:50Well, it's something that the church, as the financial administrator of the sacraments, gives to the
01:56The faithful, when they approach to request them, says canon law, appropriately.
02:02So, this is the presentation. Here I have this presentation that's being used.
02:08Here in the diocese of Monterrey, which has been practically standardized, not only
02:13not only throughout our pastoral zone, but it's also being standardized throughout Mexico. And well,
02:22There will be some things that differentiate them. The Ecclesiastical Tribunal has therefore been very
02:29He was concerned about the number of cases that fail. He also told us
02:35Father Lalo, right? On this topic, right? I mean, you're making a decision that isn't
02:40It's not just for a little while, it's because we love each other a lot, we like each other, right? It's something that implies...
02:46A commitment, which involves knowing exactly what we are going to do and why we want to do it.
02:53"That's what we're trying to do," Father Lalo was just telling us. "So, that's something we're trying to... well..."
03:00To delve deeper into what a presentation is. The idea of the presentation is to have the general information of
03:09Each of the bride and groom will also require two witnesses each, who know them.
03:20At least five, six, or seven years old. That is to say, that they know them in their
03:27life
03:27from being single and then now, well, at this moment when they are trying to get married so that they give
03:33primarily a testament to freedom. That is, they are marrying freely, that no one is interfering.
03:40pressing and that you have shown in front of them, let's say, certain skills
03:48fundamental and above all also that his Christian life is reasonably consistent
03:57with the sacrament they are requesting. Along with this, the priest will perform a series of
04:04questions that will basically end with what is called the statement of intent, which is a
04:14This document is the official document that is signed at the end. This is the document they are going to sign.
04:23This document says something like this, right? It says "before the undersigned," meaning they're going to read it in front of me.
04:33From the priest. He says before the undersigned in the presence of God and after having sworn to tell the truth, I state
04:41First, I am aware that when I ask to celebrate the sacrament, marriage and the Catholic Church
04:47I want to celebrate a marriage that can only be with the person I'm marrying, that the marriage
04:54The one I want to celebrate is a sacrament and I assure you that I will not hide any impediment that opposes it.
05:01Second, therefore, with this mutual commitment I assure you that I will establish between us a
05:08sacred and indissoluble bond that no one and nothing during life can destroy.
05:14I wish to create a true community of life and love in which we reciprocally and totally care for one another
05:20fidelity, being there for each other. I have not set any conditions contrary to nature,
05:27essential purposes or properties of marriage. I agree to proceed with a spirit of non-marriage and
05:35I am committed to raising our children to be humane and Christian in the Catholic Church.
05:41The priest will ask, "Do you agree to all of this?" And, ordinarily, the couple will answer
05:48We're nervous about whether the groom will do it first, then the bride, or vice versa, but we're nervous, we have little time.
05:57time has passed and we don't really know what we're going to answer or what we're signing.
06:03Imagine you're signing a house purchase agreement and you don't read the fine print that says that
06:11The interest you'll pay is 25% per year, and you sign it. That means...
06:17you're going to that house
06:18to finish paying. Well, not you. Your great-grandchildren will probably finish paying off the thousands of
06:24Billions upon billions of pesos that after 30 years of paying, you will never have made any progress.
06:30A lot in the capital. But you signed it. You misread it. You didn't know you were signing. Oh, yes,
06:38Look, just go in and boom. And sometimes this happens to us. So, that's why the idea you've proposed is so important.
06:45The diocese is to have this conversation where you can have a preliminary reflection on what
06:53They're going to read it. And when they read it, they'll know exactly what they're saying and what they're committing to.
07:00Because this is what will make your marriage valid or invalid. So, it's very important, and that's why the
07:07The presentation should ordinarily be made either by a deacon or a priest, so that we can
07:16try to help them delve deeper into their answers. In this exercise we did, after going
07:24Having reviewed all these elements that are important in marriage, we conclude with this part of the
07:30presentation, which you will find that as part of your task you will be solving some of
07:38These are questions that will need to be answered so that we can get to know each other a little better. In one area
07:45which is sometimes very personal and does not always correspond to the truth of the sacrament that
07:54We want to review. So, for example, he was just talking to us about the essential points that go...
08:03To solve this, they're going to ask them, "How long have you known each other?" And then they're going to ask them,
08:13Do you think you know your boyfriend well enough? Why? Why do you think you know him well?
08:23Look, I'm 30 years old, I've worked in the ecclesiastical court for 33 years, and finally my last 10 years
08:32They have acted as judges. And it is impressive to see in the statements of the brides, of the spouses who
08:40They're trying to determine if her marriage was annulled, she says. "Father, it's because it was someone else. I married someone else."
08:48other
08:48Did the person change? No, people don't change like that; that's who we are, but we hide who we truly are.
08:57We are. Why do you think you know us well? Have you talked in depth? Many times, where do we go?
09:05Our knowledge? Movies, meals, dinners, outings, outings with friends, and sometimes the time we spend
09:13We have them only for kisses and sometimes for other things. And all of that is making us...
09:20We believe we know the other person. Why do you think you know them? Why do you think you know them?
09:27The one you're going to marry?
09:32What moves your heart? Father Lalo was just asking us. What makes you want to get married?
09:39That's one of the questions the priest will ask you. I mean, why do you really want to marry him?
09:45she?
09:46What is your purpose in marrying her?
09:52What is life like in the family you live with, and what is her family like?
09:59It's a religious family, very religious, not religious at all. There are arguments in the family, though.
10:07The parents are divorced. All of this, although it may seem like it doesn't affect our marriages,
10:14Because ultimately they have repercussions. That's what we experienced, that's what we learned.
10:19In other words, generally in families where divorce has occurred more easily
10:26It's because they've already seen that their family got divorced and that, well, you can get married again.
10:32to marry.
10:32Many people today, especially in this new generation, have irregular marriages.
10:38People who married one person, then another, and then, well, I lived with one and I lived with
10:42other.
10:43And this creates a problem that we wouldn't want you to experience.
10:50We got married forever because God made the sacrament to strengthen the union of the two of us.
10:56and could live their whole lives together.
11:01They're going to ask you about political life and how you get along with your in-laws.
11:08Do you know them? Do you know their dad, their mom? Sometimes we do everything from the outside.
11:13From there we go out, we go to the movies, we go out for dinner, we go out for lunch, etc.
11:17But really, what is the family of the woman you're going to marry like?
11:22Now, because, well, as they say, and popular proverbs are always very true,
11:29We also married into the family, the brothers, the sisters, my brothers-in-law, my sisters-in-law,
11:36My in-laws, my mother-in-law, what are they like?
11:40You know how a lot of jokes and things like that are made about mothers-in-law, right?
11:46He wants to continue protecting his son because a very special bond is created between men.
11:54The same thing is happening to you as a couple, but it also happens to a different degree and in a different way.
12:00but also with my mom.
12:02And then the mother wants to get involved, because she's tender with the mother-in-law.
12:06because she wants to remain involved in the issue of her son.
12:09But likewise, the father wants to continue interfering in his daughter's wedding.
12:16So, we need to be very clear about this,
12:20how we get along, how openly we can talk.
12:26There are people who, well, don't like their boyfriend or girlfriend and make their life miserable.
12:35They're going to do it later too.
12:37So, do you know your in-laws well?
12:42This leads us to ask, how mature do you think you are to make a commitment that is for
12:50lifetime?
12:52It requires maturity, judgment, and clear understanding, as Father Lalo told us a little while ago,
13:01to fully understand what I am doing.
13:03It's a lifelong commitment, a commitment that will bring many responsibilities for me.
13:11Not only towards my children, but particularly towards my spouse.
13:17And I need to know this.
13:19And I have to have the character, the decisiveness, the maturity to say,
13:25I'm getting married, from now on I'm going to participate in a different kind of relationship
13:33that will make me grow, then, must help me grow
13:38in my relationship with everyone else around me,
13:42But particularly with the person I'm marrying, right?
13:46So, really, how well do we know each other, guys?
13:51These exercises that we have been doing throughout these pronunciation talks
13:58They've intended this a bit, for us to get to know each other a little better.
14:02and that we may understand more clearly what marriage is,
14:06so that we can finally say, yes, I do take you to be my wife,
14:14like my husband, in good times and bad,
14:19in health and in sickness,
14:23And to love and respect you for two years, right?
14:30For ten? No?
14:32All your life, brothers, all your life, one day you will grow old.
14:38I feel very sad when marriages end up...
14:45You ask, why don't they love each other anymore?
14:48Why don't they help each other anymore?
14:50Why are they no longer being treated?
14:52Why are they indifferent to each other?
14:54When love should have been growing.
14:56So, these questions are important.
15:00They will be in the questionnaire that we will provide you.
15:03and that forms part of our training,
15:07so you can review them with your boyfriend or girlfriend
15:12and try to see in which areas they would still need to make some adjustments.
15:19Other questions that come within the presentation and that have been added are:
15:24Why do you want to get married in a church?
15:27That's how I see it when I review the presentation,
15:33Because the presentation includes whether you go to mass, how often you go to mass, etc.
15:37And I meet people who, well, haven't been to mass or confession for years.
15:44So I say to him, "So, why do you want to get married in a church?"
15:49What motivates you?
15:50Father Lalo said.
15:52Because of the white dress, because of the church photos,
15:56because everything looks very nice.
15:58Because, he told us, because that's how it's done in my family.
16:02Why you?
16:04Why do you want to get married in a church?
16:08The church will give you a sacrament.
16:10And that sacrament will give you a series of graces.
16:15What are the graces of the sacrament?
16:17Do you know what the graces of the sacrament are?
16:21Each sacrament gives us different elements for life.
16:25The sacrament gives us two.
16:28It gives us the wisdom to be able to educate
16:32and in order to resolve the multiple and complex situations
16:36that we encounter in married life.
16:39But, on the other hand, it gives us the gift of love
16:43which is a completely faithful, perfect love.
16:46This is the one Paul refers to in his letter to the Corinthians.
16:49A love that believes everything, hopes for everything, endures everything.
16:52A love that never fades.
16:55But that only works if you live in grace.
16:57That is, if you come to mass, if you go to confession, if you receive communion and pray.
17:00I'll give you an example.
17:03Imagine that you're about to get married,
17:05You're going to buy a refrigerator.
17:08And they show you a two-door refrigerator like this,
17:11Beautiful, everything, and it makes ice cubes.
17:13And well, all these wonderful things, right?
17:15He shows it to you and convinces you, and you say,
17:18This is exactly the fridge I want.
17:20Very well, sir.
17:21Well, the lady starts taking your order right there.
17:23or the young man who is serving you.
17:25He asks you, "And where should I send it?"
17:27He says, "Well, send it to me at the Tres Perros ranch."
17:30Ah, wow, the Tres Perros ranch.
17:32And where is the Tres Perros ranch?
17:34He says, no, there, because of Mamulí that he gets involved
17:36and then it goes in for about six or seven kilometers
17:38until a little white house appears
17:40and then from there it's another eight kilometers inland.
17:44Hey, friend.
17:46And there at the Tres Perros ranch
17:47Do you have electricity?
17:50No, we're there, the five-year-olds, it's great.
17:54Listen, it won't do you any good.
17:57The fridge won't do him any good.
17:59It needs electricity.
18:00First, you need to connect it to the electrical current.
18:02And no, man, he's going to have a wonderful refrigerator.
18:05But if it doesn't have electricity, it won't work.
18:09Exactly the same thing happens in marriage.
18:11Two graces that are fundamental.
18:14Imagine what it's like with the fashion industry.
18:17Oh, Carlitos.
18:20It's difficult to hear about the topic of fidelity.
18:22I tell you, thirty-three years in court.
18:26They don't tell me about it.
18:29It's stuffy.
18:30If you do not live a life of strong relationship with God,
18:36It's going to be very difficult to get your fridge working.
18:39If you are not connected to the Lord, it won't work.
18:43They have to be good Christians.
18:48Do you consider yourself a good Christian?
18:53Are you going to mass?
18:54Will you confess?
18:56Do you take communion?
18:57Do you read the scripture?
18:59Are you making an effort to live the life that the Lord has proposed to us?
19:03Sir, brother, sister, it is the moment before your wedding.
19:08After that, it gets really complicated.
19:10Things are starting to get complicated.
19:12Start now, because you still have some time left in this courtship period.
19:17to begin strengthening their spiritual life.
19:20Believe me, it's very difficult, very difficult to maintain a marriage.
19:26Especially in this era, if you do not have a serious relationship with God.
19:31They're going to have a really tough time.
19:34They will be asked about responsibilities and obligations.
19:41We read it there, yes, I'm willing.
19:43And do you know what the obligations are?
19:44It's not just about maintaining and cleaning the house.
19:47It's about giving love to your partner.
19:49It's about making her happy.
19:50I tell them at weddings, from now on, your main obligation and commitment is to make this happy
19:57women.
19:58And you, make this man happy.
20:00That is your commitment.
20:01And you will have to dedicate your whole life, all your love, to that, because that is a commitment.
20:08To make the other person happy.
20:10And not just bringing him money and everything else.
20:15When it comes to fidelity, it's not just about being faithful and saying, well, I haven't been around much longer.
20:22relationship with no one.
20:24Sometimes they know who he's loyal to.
20:25He says, total loyalty.
20:29He says, completely faithfully.
20:31There are people who are unfaithful to their husband or wife, now both of whom work, because they love it.
20:38the job.
20:40And so they prefer to stay and work and do and create and all that stuff.
20:45And then they offer them jobs where they'll be traveling and all that kind of stuff.
20:50Hey, and the wife and husband never go out.
20:56They've already forgotten how to be boyfriend and girlfriend.
20:59Obviously, that's also infidelity.
21:06It is a sacred union, the text says.
21:10Father Eduardo explained this to us clearly.
21:15What is going to happen is not a signing before a notary.
21:20Nor are they signing this document before God.
21:25They are signing it in front of a minister.
21:27But this will not cancel anything.
21:28This only tells us that if you know what you're getting into, if you understand what it's about
21:34Try this, if you're preparing yourself, if you're a good Christian, if we see the possibility of not having to wait for you
21:43within two, three, or four years, than you now visit the ecclesiastical court.
21:50No. We want your marriage to last forever.
21:55Because this is a commitment you will make before God on your wedding day.
22:01It is a sacred union.
22:03What God has joined together, let no one separate.
22:07That's why we can't separate them.
22:09Then people say, 'Father, I want the church to divorce me.'
22:12There are no divorces in the church.
22:15There may be an annulment of marriage, that is, it never existed because the conditions for it to occur were not met.
22:21But there is no divorce.
22:24The sacrament performed, which has all the elements of validity, is a sacrament.
22:30And the church cannot separate them.
22:32Because?
22:32Because it is a sacred bond.
22:35It is a sacred bond.
22:38And finally, then, on the properties of Christian marriage.
22:44So, you say you know.
22:45You are going to sign this paper which states that you know what the properties of Christian marriage are.
22:52Father Eduardo just explained them to us.
22:58Unity, uniqueness.
23:00In other words, I'm not marrying her or him.
23:03Everything else is great, my parents, my friends, how wonderful.
23:07Everyone can help me and everyone can give me advice.
23:10But you two will sort things out.
23:12Uniqueness.
23:14You and I, one and the same.
23:16And complementarity.
23:19We are different.
23:20We were made to complement each other.
23:23And that's the topic I explain to you in the presentation.
23:27I'm telling you this because these talks are going to help a lot of people.
23:32When people arrive at the presentation, they will already have all this instruction that they don't have right now.
23:38I'll give you this example.
23:39What is complementarity?
23:41Okay, you.
23:42I tell the girlfriend.
23:44How many marbles do you have?
23:45No, then, three.
23:47And you?
23:47No, I have five.
23:49Very good.
23:49Now, let's put them all together.
23:53Very good.
23:54"You," I tell the bride.
23:55How many do you have?
23:56Three.
23:57And five?
23:57Well, eight, right?
23:59Exact.
23:59And you?
24:00Eight.
24:02Everyone contributed everything they had.
24:05Some have more than one thing.
24:07Another one has more of something else.
24:08But the point now is to complement each other.
24:11You lack things, and I lack things.
24:14Let's complement each other.
24:16And this requires giving to one another.
24:20If we don't give to each other, we won't be able to complement each other, and then the marriage will tend towards failure.
24:29And finally, the last part presented in the letter of intent is about the issue of
24:40the children.
24:41Father Laro also played it.
24:44One of the purposes of marriage is procreation.
24:51So, in this end of procreation, we must be, as he clearly stated, open to the
25:00life.
25:01How many children should you have?
25:04Well, all of us who can.
25:06Two, three, four, five, six, seven.
25:09Well, I don't know.
25:10Those of us who can.
25:11How many can we do?
25:12Well, I don't know.
25:12First let's see if we can do one.
25:14There are couples who can't even manage one.
25:16But it's important that we see how many we can do.
25:22You will see this, or have already seen it, in the talk about procreation.
25:28And you will see that it is wonderful to be able to give life.
25:32In other words, it's a gift that parents give to their child.
25:36And that gift you give your son will one day allow him, with your help and everyone else's, to...
25:42the community, to reach heaven and live eternally with God.
25:46So, I would like to invite you.
25:49We're going to leave these questionnaires there in the work you have to do.
25:57I invite you to fill them out individually.
26:01And then they have to share them and try to see if there are differences, if there are no differences.
26:08And what could they do to improve all these aspects I've mentioned, which are fundamental in a person's life?
26:16Christian marriage.
26:18I wish you all the best.
26:21May the Lord abundantly bless your marriage.
26:23And that they be from marriages where there is already an old man, a little old woman, and an old woman.
26:29And then the old man goes and moves her chair and says, my love, how beautiful you are.
26:34His heart still loves her.
26:37And keep taking care of her.
26:38And he continues to protect her.
26:40She is still the love of his life.
26:43Hopefully, we can have many marriages again.
26:48They existed long ago, and we see them less and less because we have abandoned the Christian life.
26:56May the Lord bless you abundantly, boys.
26:58And take all of this seriously because, believe me, your happiness depends on it.
27:04Blessings to you.
27:13Blessings to you.