00:00Music is my therapy.
00:01It's my way of being able to get shit off my chest that I feel like I wouldn't be able
00:06to say otherwise.
00:14It was such a rollercoaster of emotions when I was writing this song because I feel like
00:19I was literally processing what I was going through at the same time that I was writing.
00:23So many of my internal thoughts I feel like poured its way onto the song and it was very
00:31cathartic to write it on paper, get to really see how I was feeling and let it out on the
00:37mic.
00:46It was really important for me to start off with this line.
00:49Imagine starting the first day of freshman year, being inseparable best friends with someone
00:53until the last day of graduation.
00:56So much happens in that period of time.
00:59With this person, it's like we would go out in a group and it would feel like it was just
01:03us.
01:04We were glued together.
01:12With your best friends, you think that we're going to be close forever.
01:16We're talking about our wedding days and growing old together and even getting matching tattoos.
01:22Like I wanted to reference the fact that these are all things that are meant to last forever.
01:39When someone betrays your trust, it kind of forces you to go back and relive every conversation
01:46you had with them then and be like, oh, everything you told me, the advice you were giving me,
01:51it must not have been genuine because you had a completely different agenda.
02:08Writing this pre-chorus specifically, it was such a moment of revelation for me because the
02:14reality is you have days where you miss them and something funny happens and you want to call them,
02:21or you think of a sweet memory that you two shared and it's just that thing where someone
02:27can hurt you so much and you still have so much love for them.
03:02There's been some discourse online, like people like, well, girl, that's dramatic.
03:06It's not about the guy.
03:07Like it's the going behind your back, asking so many times about something and, you know,
03:13having your friend like deny it and be like, no, I would never do that to you.
03:18And having to hear through other people, it's the lying and betrayal of my trust.
03:23That's the worst thing you could do to me.
03:34Those lines in particular were literally taken from my diary.
03:37I mean, I was finding out this information and then I would stay up all night so upset about it
03:43and then I'd go to the studio the next day.
03:45I can't write about anything but this.
03:48Like this is the only thing that's taking up space in my mind and I have to write about it.
03:53I have to get it out.
03:53It's just crazy that I was experiencing everything literally right in the middle of recording this album.
04:13I wanted the listener to be able to kind of get lost in the song and almost listen to it
04:19as if they were watching a movie.
04:21It was very real for me at one point in time.
04:23And I think now that I'm like singing it and singing it on stage,
04:27I think that I am able to kind of get back into the emotion that I felt at the time.
04:41It's kind of like the feeling of, you know when you leave a shirt at a friend's house
04:46and like, you know, they post a picture wearing it like two days later and you swipe up and you're
04:51like, hmm, nice shirt.
04:53And you know, in this situation it feels like a stretch because what am I going to do?
04:57Swipe up and say, hmm, nice boyfriend.
05:02Swipe up and say, yeah, I love that little run that I do on the time and I feel like
05:20that part was
05:21just like something that I did in one of the takes and I listened back and I was like, ooh,
05:24that's cool.
05:25Like we should keep that.
05:26I think I reference a lot of like Brandy, Faith Evans, I mean Monica, like these girls
05:33that could just run and sing and I definitely take a lot of inspiration from those girls.
05:41It's cool to think that people are able to connect to this song. People who may have gone through
05:47their own friendship breakups and that's why I'm in love with music is that it has the ability to
05:53connect people that are all going through the same thing.
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