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FunTranscript
00:00You get married tonight, Vito.
00:03Get out, and don't come back until you have my rent, you deadbeat!
00:12Five hundred bucks. I can survive this. I have to.
00:18You get married tonight, Vito, or I swear on your father's grave, the church gets every single penny of this
00:26family's empire.
00:27Grandma, put the damn gun down. You're going to give yourself a heart attack.
00:32Boss, the bride, she took the money and ran. An hour ago.
00:37Find me a woman! Now! Or I'll bury you all!
00:44My chest!
00:45You see this? Find someone! Anyone in a dress! Do it before she dies!
00:54Delivery? Anyone ordered a...
00:58Boss, I think I just found our runaway bride.
01:06Wrong. Wrong address?
01:09Look at this gorgeous face!
01:12My sweet grandar-in-law!
01:23Move again, and I'll turn your head into Swiss jean.
01:42Whoa! Whoa!
01:44Whoa!
01:44Whoa!
01:54blow this cover and you're a dead man
02:00oh look at this gorgeous face my sweet grandar-in-law
02:10you may now kiss the bride
02:20move it bride let's get down to business you play the devoted wife for one month
02:27until the old lady passes naturally once it's over you get a million bucks and all your debts
02:37are wiped clean million deal but can i at least take off this suffocating corset
02:43how about you stop breathing permanently sign the paper
02:47signing i love corsets best invention ever
02:56i'll be checking the bed sheets for blood tomorrow morning
03:01do not dare sleep in separate beds
03:17cross this line and i chop off your legs
03:23disgusting just shut up and go to sleep
03:33good morning lovebirds
03:35just checking on the progress
03:43morning darling
03:44you come with me we have womanly things to discuss
03:48listen to me child if you want to rule a romano man you can't be soft when he misbehaves you
03:57punish him
03:57you spank his ass show him who's the real boss
04:03oh absolutely spank the bad boy
04:06got it
04:07a million dollars of firepower hijacked
04:10who the hell leaked our route
04:13boss
04:14we are investigating
04:18what do you think you're doing get out
04:21no yelling at work honey
04:23bad boys need a timeout
04:26you got a death wish
04:32touch me like that again and they'll be fishing pieces of you out of the harbor
04:37i i was just playing the part for grandma
04:41well well
04:43so this is the legendary new bride
04:45who let you in sophia
04:47this is romano territory not your playground
04:50slouching shoulders cheap posture
04:52look at this pathetic thing
04:54you think this trash deserves to be the donna of the romano family
04:57you must be blind vo
04:59trash
05:00honey
05:01i might be cheap
05:02but at least i'm not a desperate ex
05:05breaking and entering
05:06just to sniff around what she can't have anymore
05:12don't you dare talk to me like that
05:14let go of me you crazy psycho
05:19calluses
05:20thick huge knuckles
05:23a true socialete would never have the hands of a dock worker
05:28enjoy your little pathetic dress while it lasts
05:30i will expose exactly what you are
05:33you fake
05:39it's a 14th century antique
05:41pigeon blood ruby
05:44but i suppose a girl from the streets has never seen anything so magnificent
05:51have you lost your mind
05:54magnificent
05:55it looks like an overpriced dog collar
05:57how dare you
05:59my husband bought this to prove his eternal love
06:02eternal love
06:03please
06:03while you are guarding this stupid rock
06:05he is out making history
06:07with his mistresses
06:08stop this nonsense immediately
06:10a mafia widow style marriage
06:12is a total scam
06:13you're just crying in a mansion
06:14pretending a cold stone loves you back
06:18you're so right
06:19he hasn't slept in our bed for two years
06:23i am so lonely
06:24bestie
06:25teach me how to be strong like you
06:28uh there there
06:29stand up and fight for your rights girl
06:31take it
06:32i don't need this stupid rock anymore
06:34you are my only true friend
06:35well if you insist
06:39what an inspiring speech
06:41all this talking must have made you thirsty sister
06:44have some fresh tea
06:56oh god
06:57what the hell was in that tea
07:00bathroom
07:00i need a bathroom right now
07:02or i'm gonna explode
07:06right this way mrs romano
07:08the ladies room is all yours
07:11if i go in there
07:12they'll see i stand up to weep
07:15if i use the men's room
07:16my cover is blown
07:18and i'm dead meat
07:20what's the matter darling
07:21not used to sitting down on the toilet
07:26darling
07:30vito stop
07:31she needs to use the
07:32my wife doesn't use dirty public restrooms
07:40handle your business
07:41don't make a mess in my sanctuary
07:43you're my real lifesaver
07:44i love you boss
07:49you think you can protect her forever vito
07:51watch me tear her down to pieces
07:55the dumb board driver
07:57he'll be my way in
07:59nobody touches my driver's burger
08:03boss lady
08:05let's see how long a spoiled can last
08:06you're gonna puke your guts out
08:12ow
08:15son of
08:16screw this heat
08:17i can't breathe in this lock
08:24tougher than she looks
08:26hey big guy
08:27hit the brakes
08:28pull over at that corner
08:32eat it tony
08:33don't be a snob
08:34this is the real deal
08:37you
08:37you eat street food ma'am
08:39red stew
08:40old lady
08:41hand over the cops
08:44nice ride
08:45give me that burger
08:46that's oh
08:49nobody touches my driver's burger
08:54scram
08:54before i make it worse
08:55boss lady
08:56you
08:57you are so incredibly manly
09:01obviously tony
09:02just regular female self-defense
09:06a high-class mafia wife
09:07brawling in the slums
09:08with a steel chair
09:09let's see how vito
09:10explains this wild animal
09:12to the elders
09:15who's there
09:24who's there
09:26are we doing the whole
09:27brooding batman routine
09:30put the gun away boss
09:31it's just me
09:32you are playing with fire danny
09:34give it back
09:36damn
09:37you drink galline for fun
09:38look
09:39i get it
09:40mafia king
09:42heavy crown
09:44but let me tell you about real tragedy
09:46my ex
09:47she batted her fake eyelashes and said
09:50i was her soulmate
09:52i maxed out 10 credit cards
09:54ate instant noodles for a whole year to buy her luxury bags
09:58she ran off with a guy who sells fake rolexes
10:02took everything
10:03even my lucky underpants
10:06so cheer up vito
10:07at least nobody stole your underwear today
10:10you're so silly danny
10:21right now
10:23i don't care what you are
10:28i want an heir in this crib
10:30complete within a month
10:33or i swear to god
10:35i'll die with my eyes wide open
10:37a month grandma human biology
10:39doesn't work like
10:41grandma
10:41this is ridiculous
10:43drink both of you
10:45every last drop
10:53why is it suddenly a sauna in here
11:00no wait
11:01i need some air
11:07i told you
11:09not to move
11:13we
11:14we can't
11:14i am
11:15i am a guy
11:16right now
11:17i don't care what you are
11:19gotcha
11:19you little fraud
11:20miss sophia is gonna love this
11:23oh my god
11:24i've fallen for this cold tough boss
11:37don't move
11:39oh my god
11:49i've fallen for this cold tough boss
12:08bingo
12:09take this
12:17find his face
12:20scour every delivery company
12:22in this city
12:23i want the true identity
12:25of this rat
12:26by tonight
12:27from this exact second
12:30she is the one and only
12:32lady romano
12:33danny miller
12:35you broke
12:36little rat
12:37don't think wearing a skirt
12:39and a wig
12:40can hide you from me
12:41get out here
12:42oh god
12:43the lone sharks
12:45they found me
12:46i'm dead
12:49snipers
12:49on my mark
12:50take that garbage out
12:52we can't let this scandal leak
12:55stand down carlo
12:56i handle my own house
12:58pay up
12:59or i'll rip your
13:03where's danny
13:04tell that cross-dressing creek
13:06to pay his debt
13:07or else
13:17i don't care who she used to be
13:20or what she owed you
13:21from this exact second
13:23she is the one and only
13:26lady romano
13:27he
13:27he actually protected me
13:31oh vito
13:32how romantic
13:34danny miller
13:35we'll see if your lady romano
13:37can handle the family dinner tonight
13:40no more lies
13:41tonight after the banquet
13:42i'll tell him everything
13:44who i really am
13:45and how i really feel
13:49my dear friends
13:50family
13:51tonight is a night of transition
13:53this is the highest level access key
13:55to our family's central vault
13:57i've guarded it my whole life
13:59now i officially pass it
14:01to my perfect granddaughter-in-law
14:07a perfect granddaughter-in-law
14:09oh please
14:10don't make me joke
14:11sophia
14:12you have exactly three seconds
14:14to get out of my house
14:15before i put a bullet in your head
14:17shoot me
14:18you should be thanking me vito
14:20i'm saving your pathetic family
14:21from the biggest humiliation
14:23in mafia history
14:24handing over the family bloodline
14:27to a bottom fleeting scammer
14:29and a man
14:32are you out of your mind vito
14:34your so-called wife is a man
14:41grandma
14:41stay with me
14:42call a damn ambulance
14:44now
14:46closely everyone
14:47this is the madam you worship
14:49a filthy poor guy
14:56unbelievable
14:56he outwitted the entire syndicate
14:59stop this cross-dressing rascal
15:01at once
15:02ito
15:03ito
15:05please let me explain
15:06never wanted to
15:10grandma
15:13grandma
15:14stay with me
15:15call a damn ambulance
15:16now
15:23boss
15:24listen
15:25if we shoot him here
15:26it will be a mess
15:27let me
15:32remove all his family related garments
15:35drag him to the dungeon
15:37let him wait for his execution
15:40no
15:40veto
15:41don't do this
15:42veto
15:45there's a signal down here
15:53i brought you
15:55your last meal
15:57i'm so sorry
16:00it's okay tony
16:02you're a good kid
16:03i don't care what they say
16:04even if you got a pair of balls
16:07i swear to god
16:08you'll always be my boss's wife
16:11go tony
16:12don't let them catch you here
16:19veto is gonna tear me apart
16:21before dawn
16:22first light
16:23i'm dead meat
16:29no way
16:30there's a signal down here
16:40oh my god
16:41oh my god
16:45they are not taking this away from me
16:48do it
16:53you idiot
16:54i knew you had a pair from day one
16:57go fight for your happiness
17:00hell yeah
17:00real love doesn't care about what's under the skirt
17:11hey
17:12boss
17:12order me to keep you here man lady
17:14stand back
17:16tony
17:17is brother hip about what you wear
17:19or who fights for you on the streets
17:27they are forcing veto to step down right now
17:30no
17:31nobody messes with the boss
17:33leave the way
17:35a man in a wedding dress
17:37it's a joke
17:40sign it veto
17:41hand over the romano empire to my family
17:44boss
17:45don't do it
17:47do it
17:52blow that perzard's head off right now
17:55hold your fire
17:57stand down
18:04miss me
18:06blow that perzard's head off right now
18:10hold your fire
18:11stand down
18:12don't you dare touch him
18:15are you out of your minds
18:17he's a frog
18:18thanks guys
18:18but i got this
18:23look at me veto
18:24no wig
18:25no dress
18:28just me
18:29i am the only one who actually makes you smile
18:31and you know it
18:39what a disgrace
18:40just end this circus
18:42sign the paper veto
18:43let's clean up this mess
18:57veto
18:58well what the hell are you doing
19:00have you completely lost your mind
19:02he is a man
19:03a lowly disgusting courier
19:10marriage isn't about building a new machine for profit and power
19:14i should choose someone who genuinely makes me want to smile
19:19instead of a venomous snake like you
19:23kill them all
19:24take the seat
19:30nobody moves a muscle
19:32for the boss
19:33and for our badass big bro
19:35i mean madam
19:39you chose loud over me
19:46it's over
19:47you're safe now
19:55my boy finally grew a pair
20:00are you out of your mind veto
20:03risking the entire romano empire for a man
20:06this is a disgrace
20:08this is a disgrace
20:09you step down
20:10right now
20:12isabella
20:15grandma
20:16what is going on
20:18this whole illness was a test
20:20and all of you failed miserably
20:24danny passed my test with flying colors
20:30congratulations boss
20:31true love prevails
20:33long live the don and his wife
20:39thank god
20:40i don't need to buy that expensive hair growth serum anymore
20:45uh veto
20:46shouldn't we celebrate with the others
20:50that fake contract we signed
20:51it's officially null and void
20:53what
20:54you mean mean
20:55i'm fired
20:57no
20:58i mean
21:00it's time we discuss the terms of a real marriage
21:04boy
21:06what in the name of
21:08where is he
21:10is he backing out
21:11patience my son
21:12love never misses its cue
21:14you don't know him father
21:20what in the name of
21:31what the hell are you doing
21:33have you completely lost your mind
21:35you cross-dressed
21:37for a month
21:38and put your life on the line for me
21:41i wear this ridiculous dress for one day
21:43it's called fair trade danny
21:45you look like a mafia marshmallow
21:49that's my boy
21:51strut that stuff veto
21:55so
21:56ready to kiss your bride mr miller
21:58with pleasure beautiful
22:04the suspeed
22:07you
22:07pig
22:07tell you
22:11darry
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