Mi esposa dijo durante la terapia de pareja Si tuviera que elegir entre tú y mi ex en este momento, lo elegiría a él.
#gameplay #REDDY #historias #redditstories #historytime #history
#gameplay #REDDY #historias #redditstories #historytime #history
Categoría
🦄
CreatividadTranscripción
00:00My wife said during couples therapy, "If I had to choose between you and my ex in this..."
00:04At that moment, he would choose. The therapist remained silent. I stood up, looked at her, and said.
00:10Then go and choose him. I left the room. The voicemail he left that night, begging me
00:15When I asked her to come back, she received no response. I am a 36-year-old man, and I have been married to my
00:20My wife, 34, and I've been with her for 7 years; we've been together for 9 years in total. We have no children.
00:27She always said she wasn't ready and kept pushing back the deadlines year after year, and I
00:31I respected that because I thought we had time. Looking back, maybe that was a sign
00:36I should have paid more attention to her. Maybe she was never planning a future with me.
00:41We'd been in couples therapy for about three months. It was her idea, actually. She said we had
00:46The spark had been lost, and we needed professional help to reconnect. I accepted immediately because
00:51I loved her and wanted to fix whatever was broken between us. I thought that
00:55We were making real progress. The therapist seemed competent and insightful.
00:59We communicated more openly than we had in years. I was learning his language.
01:03Love, or whatever they call it these days. I genuinely believed we were getting over it.
01:07The problems. Last Tuesday, it was our usual session at 6 p.m. The same
01:12office, the same uncomfortable leather sofa. The therapist asked us to do an exercise, something
01:18about being radically honest about our deepest feelings. A safe space
01:22For the truth. That's what she called it. No judgment, no interruptions, just raw honesty.
01:27From both of them. My wife went first. She talked about feeling disconnected lately. About how
01:33Sometimes she wondered if she had settled too quickly by marrying me. About
01:37How she missed the passion and excitement of her twenties. Normal things.
01:41I thought. Every marriage has its ups and downs. Every long-term relationship goes through phases where
01:46The emotion subsided. Then the therapist asked her a question that changed everything in an instant.
01:50Instantly. If you could go back and make a different decision about your life, would you
01:55What would you do? My wife remained silent. Very silent. That kind of silence that makes you
01:59your stomach sinks to the floor because you feel something terrible is coming and you can't
02:03Do nothing to stop him. Sometimes I think about him, she said softly, almost whispering. My
02:09Your ex, the one before you, knew exactly who she was talking about. They dated for two years.
02:13When she was in her early twenties. He broke up with her; in fact, he moved away for a chance.
02:18work, and didn't want a long-distance relationship. She was completely devastated when
02:23We met. I helped her heal from that broken heart. I was patient, I was kind, I was
02:28everything she said she needed. Or so she thought. The therapist felt, encouraging her
02:33to continue exploring those feelings. I've been following him on social media.
02:38He moved back to the area about a year ago. He's not married, and he just sometimes...
02:43I wonder, what would have happened if things had been different? What if he had stayed?
02:48My heart was beating so loudly I could hear it in my ears. But I remained silent. Space
02:53Safe for the truth, right? That's what we agreed on. Have you ever put yourself in
02:58"Have you been in contact with him?" the therapist asked gently. "We've exchanged messages a few times."
03:02How many times? Nothing inappropriate, just catching up, seeing how the other person is doing. News for
03:08Me. Completely and utterly new. She had never mentioned any of this. Not once.
03:13in the year since he apparently moved back. The therapist went
03:17How does it make you feel to hear this? Before I could even open my mouth
03:21In response, my wife continued talking as if a dam had suddenly broken.
03:25and I couldn't stop the flood. I don't know if I married the right person. I love you,
03:30She looked at me, tears welling in her eyes. I really do, but I don't know if I'm
03:35In love with you. There's a difference. And when I think of him, I feel alive, electric.
03:40the way I used to feel when everything was new and exciting. The therapist
03:44He leaned forward in his chair. This is important work. Let's explore this.
03:49feeling more deeply. If you had to choose right now, at this exact moment,
03:53Between your husband and your ex, what would your instinct tell you? I expected hesitation. I expected that
03:58I expected her to say she was confused and needed more time to process it.
04:03which was complicated and which I didn't know. I was hoping for something that would acknowledge the seven years we spent building it.
04:07together. Instead, without wasting a second, she said, if I had to choose between you and him.
04:12Right now, he would choose it. The room fell into a deathly silence. You could hear
04:17The hum of the air conditioner. The therapist's face went completely expressionless.
04:22His professional training kicked in to mask his reaction, but I saw the flash
04:27of astonishment before he masked it. She hadn't expected that answer either. In all her years
04:32Having done this, I probably hadn't heard anything so brutally honest and devastating.
04:36I sat there for maybe five seconds. It felt like an hour, like seven years of marriage.
04:41Nine years of my life invested in this woman, building a home together, planning a future,
04:47supporting each other through difficult times. And she simply told me this in front of a witness.
04:51I was sure she'd choose a guy who dumped her years ago over me. I stood up slowly.
04:56Then go and choose it. I grabbed my jacket from the back of the chair. Wait, that's not what
05:01My wife started reaching for my arm. No, I pulled away from her touch. You just told me in therapy
05:07A couple's guide, specifically designed to save our marriage, would you choose your ex because
05:12on top of me without hesitation, without even thinking. What exactly am I supposed to do with that?
05:17Information? Begging you to reconsider? Competing for your attention? No, you want him? Go for him.
05:23We're done. She said, this was supposed to be a safe space, I was just being honest.
05:29As you always ask me to be. I replied, and I genuinely appreciate the honesty. Now
05:34I finally know exactly where I am in your heart. It's not the first place. Goodbye, I left. I didn't look back.
05:40I got in my car and drove straight to my friend's apartment. He's my closest friend; I know him.
05:46from
05:46My first year of university. I told him what happened with a bottle of whiskey. He didn't say much.
05:51Which was exactly what I needed. He just listened, and poured another drink when mine ran dry.
05:56It was empty. At 11:47 p.m., my phone vibrated. A voicemail from her. Baby, by
06:02Please. No.
06:03I meant to say it that way. It was just an exercise. I was being hypothetical. Please come home. I love you.
06:09I chose you seven years ago. What I said backfired completely. Please call me. I'm sorry.
06:15A lot. Please, I beg you. I listened to it once, then I turned off my phone, and went to sleep.
06:20sofa
06:21My friend. That was four days ago. I haven't been home since. I haven't returned any of his
06:26Calls or text messages. I haven't responded to a single message. Some people might think that
06:31I'm exaggerating; I should have stayed and talked like adults. But here's the thing...
06:36It keeps running through my mind. She didn't hesitate, not even for a second. Not a flicker of doubt crossed her face.
06:42face.
06:42After seven years of marriage, nine years together, he didn't even pause before saying that
06:47I would choose someone else over me. That's not a slip or a momentary lapse in judgment. That's
06:52The truth finally came to light at a moment when his guard was down. I will meet with a
06:57Divorce lawyer tomorrow morning. Update 1. One week later. Time has passed
07:02A lot has happened since my original post. First, the meeting with the lawyer. I sat down with a
07:07Family law specialist recommended by a colleague who went through his own divorce last year
07:11I explained the whole situation to him in detail. His assessment was quite straightforward, but
07:16sobering. We own a house together, both our names on the deed, bought five years ago
07:22years with money we both saved. We have retirement accounts, joint savings, two cars, without
07:28prenuptial agreement, because I was young, stupid, and head over heels in love. In my state, everything
07:33It's roughly split 50/50 in a no-fault divorce. It doesn't matter that she was emotionally involved.
07:39Unfaithful. Months of secret messages to his ex are all detailed in my book. No matter what
07:44She said in therapy. The law doesn't care about feelings, betrayal, or broken hearts.
07:49In short, I'm going to lose about half of everything I've spent years building. The house
07:54It will probably have to be sold because neither of them can afford to buy the other's share.
07:59Another one. I'll walk away with maybe $180,000 in total assets after everything is divided. It's nothing.
08:04But that's not what I had either. The lawyer said, this is standard, and you should prepare for reality.
08:09financial. I signed the contract anyway. Some things are more expensive than money. My
08:15Sanity and self-respect are worth the cost. The lawyer sent her the divorce papers by mail.
08:19Certified Wednesday afternoon. Wednesday night, my phone blew up. Not from her,
08:25from her mother. How dare you send my daughter divorce papers as if she were some kind of
08:29Criminal? After everything she's done for you, she made a mistake in therapy by trying to be open.
08:34"With you, you're throwing your whole marriage away." I replied, "Ma'am, respectfully."
08:39Her daughter told me she would choose another man over me, her husband. That's not a mistake. That's
08:45a
08:45A confession of where her heart truly lies. She was being honest. You always...
08:50They said they wanted honesty in marriage, and I got exactly that. Now she's experiencing
08:54the consequences of that honesty. I'm not going to apologize for having self-respect. Her mother said,
09:00You're going to regret this for the rest of your life. She's the best thing that ever happened to you.
09:04and
09:04You're too blind to see it. I told him, if that's true, then I'm genuinely excited to
09:09Let's see what comes next in my life. Goodbye. I hung up and blocked his number immediately. I know that
09:14It probably sounds mean to some people, but I genuinely can't handle manipulation.
09:19Emotional and guilt trips are happening right now. I need to protect my mental health. On Thursday,
09:24My friend had a surprise visit at his apartment. His best friend showed up unannounced.
09:29Apparently, my wife told him exactly where I was staying. She told me,
09:33You need to go home and talk to her like a rational adult. She's an absolute mess.
09:39I told her, I'm sure it is. She insisted, she didn't want to say what she said in that session.
09:44therapy.
09:45She was confused and overwhelmed. The therapist pushed her into an emotional corner, and she panicked.
09:50I replied, the therapist asked a simple question. Your friend answered it willingly, without being forced.
09:56Without hesitation. She said, marriage requires work. You can't just walk away after a conversation.
10:02It was difficult. I told her, it was a difficult conversation where my wife explicitly told me she would choose her ex.
10:08about me without even thinking about it. Yes, actually, I absolutely can leave for that and I am leaving.
10:14She told me I was being dramatic. I told her I was being clear about my boundaries and that I had
10:18a significant difference. And I asked him to leave. He left reluctantly, but not before telling me that
10:24I was making the biggest mistake of my life. People really love that phrase, as if they had
10:29a crystal ball that shows them the future. On Friday night, my wife finally managed to
10:33You contacted me by calling from an unknown number I didn't recognize. Please, can we
10:38Let's talk face to face. I'll go wherever you want, you name the place. I told him, there's nothing more to it.
10:43talk.
10:44The paperwork has been filed, the process has begun. She said, you can't finish seven
10:49Years of marriage, like that for a moment. I replied, I'm not the one who ended it. You ended our
10:54marriage when you told a therapist you would choose your ex over your husband without a
10:59A moment of doubt. I'm just making it official. She insisted, she was trying to
11:03Be honest. You always said that honesty was the foundation of our relationship. I told her, and
11:09Now you're getting complete honesty back. Honestly, I don't want to be married.
11:13with someone who fantasizes about another man and admits it out loud in front of witnesses. That
11:17This is my honest truth. She cried, this isn't fair, you're punishing me for being vulnerable.
11:23I told him, I'm protecting myself from someone who clearly doesn't value our marriage.
11:27The way I do it. That's not punishment, that's self-preservation. She started crying on the phone.
11:32He told me he loved me, that he had made a terrible mistake, that he would do absolutely anything
11:37to fix what I had broken. I asked in a low voice, have you sent him messages from the session of
11:42Therapy. Silence on the other end. Have you contacted your ex since I left that room? More silence.
11:48Then, almost whispering, she was upset and hurt. She needed someone to talk to.
11:52I understood. There it was, the truth revealing itself again. I told him, then your first instinct
11:58When our marriage was in total crisis, it was contacting the man you said I would choose.
12:02about me. Thank you for confirming beyond any doubt that I made the right decision. I hung up.
12:07Update 2-3 weeks later. Things have gotten significantly more chaotic.
12:13and revealing about who my wife really is. She hired a lawyer, not just any lawyer,
12:18An aggressive type known in the city for brutal divorce tactics and maximizing settlements.
12:23Parents are paying for everything. Apparently, the first clear sign that this isn't going to be the
12:28an amicable separation she naively expected. Her lawyer's opening move was to demand that
12:33I would immediately vacate the marital home so she could move out again. She
12:37I'd been hanging out with her parents since I left, and apparently that was traumatic and humiliating.
12:42for her. My lawyer firmly denied that the house is jointly owned by both of them. None of
12:47The parties have a legal obligation to leave until the property is sold or the divorce is finalized. But the lawsuit
12:52She was aggressive and told me everything I needed to know about how this was going to proceed. Then came the
12:57Financial discovery process. Standard divorce procedure. Both parties must
13:02fully disclose all assets, debts, and sources of income. His lawyer now claims that
13:07I hid money from him because my salary increased by $15,000 last year, due to a promotion that
13:12I received it. I didn't hide a single thing. It's all there in my tax returns that she signed.
13:17But they're trying to argue that I should have proactively informed him about the potential for
13:22future profits, and that the promotion represents hidden value. My lawyer says this is just
13:26stance. Trying to negotiate from a manufactured position of strength, but dealing with that remains
13:31It was exhausting and expensive. The ex's situation also developed in interesting ways.
13:37Through mutual friends who still spoke with both of them, I learned some details that painted a picture
13:41a much more complete picture of what had really been happening. It turns out that her ex had
13:46First contacted about six months ago. Reconnected via Instagram with a casual message. It began
13:52with innocent messages of how you are, which gradually became more personal with the
13:56time. She never mentioned any of this to me. Not once in six whole months. She had
14:02I've been in regular contact with this guy while he was supposedly working to save our marriage.
14:06with me. Couples therapy was never really about saving our marriage. It was about easing their
14:11guilt while figuring out if her ex was a viable option for her future. When I mentioned this to
14:16through our lawyers, because we are no longer supposed to communicate directly, your response to
14:21Through her lawyer, she was very revealing. She didn't deny any of it. She only said that the conversations were
14:26emotionally supportive and not romantic in nature. Great. So my wife was
14:31receiving secret emotional support from her ex for six months while we actively paid for
14:36Marriage counseling together. Totally normal and healthy marital behavior.
14:41His family has been absolutely relentless in their campaign. His father actually called my place of
14:46I work asking to speak with him directly. Human Resources had to get involved because
14:51He appeared in the lobby twice demanding to see me. I consulted my lawyer about a restraining order.
14:55restriction, although it says it probably won't proceed unless there is behavior
15:00Real documented threat. His sister started a text message campaign from multiple numbers.
15:05From different phones I didn't recognize. The same thing every time. I'm destroying my family. I'm
15:11being unnecessarily cruel. I need to be a man and fight for my marriage. Apparently,
15:16His definition of being a man means accepting that my wife openly prefers someone else.
15:21And simply live with that knowledge. Struggling to support someone who doesn't want to be supported.
15:26No thanks. But this is where things got really interesting and somewhat satisfying.
15:31Her ex isn't actually interested in her the way she thought. A mutual friend who
15:36She knows the situation; she showed me her recent Instagram stories. She's been dating...
15:40another person for the last four months. Seems pretty serious too. Vacation photos
15:45Together, getting to know each other's families, the whole relationship progression thing. My wife
15:51Apparently, he either didn't know this crucial detail or chose to ignore it completely while he fantasized.
15:55with him. So she destroyed a real marriage for a fantasy that never existed. A guy who...
16:01He left her once before, and he's clearly not available to her now. And she chose that impossible fantasy.
16:06about me. I would almost feel sorry for her situation if she hadn't spent the last three weeks trying
16:11He left me financially ruined while portraying me as the villain. The house was put up for sale.
16:16Last week, it was listed at $485,000 based on comparable sales in the neighborhood. Each
16:22He should walk away with around $90,000 after the mortgage is paid off, assuming
16:27that it sells reasonably close to the asking price. That's the only positive side to all of this.
16:32Disaster. My lawyer says we should be able to finalize everything within the next two months.
16:37If she stops fighting every minor point and detail, but her lawyer keeps filing motions to
16:41Delaying and extending deadlines. The longer this drags on, the more expensive it becomes for both parties in fees.
16:46legal. But her parents are funding her entire legal strategy, so she has no incentive.
16:52To be reasonable or efficient. I'm still sticking with my friend; it's cramped and inconvenient.
16:57But it's temporary. Once the house sells and I get my share, I'll get my own place.
17:01I'll start completely over. I'll figure out who I am outside of a marriage I genuinely thought I would have.
17:07which would last forever. Update 3-2 months later. Final. It's done. I signed the papers.
17:13Finals last week. Officially divorced after 7 years of marriage and 9 years together.
17:18The final agreement was roughly what my lawyer had predicted from the beginning. The house
17:23It sold for $472,000, slightly below the asking price. But the market has been
17:28Unpredictable lately. After paying off the mortgage and all the selling costs and commissions,
17:33Each one left with approximately $83,000 in total. The retirement accounts were divided.
17:38Exactly in half. She kept her car, I kept mine. Personal belongings
17:44The costs were divided according to who originally bought what and what we were able to agree upon. The total cost of the
17:49The divorce proceedings cost me about $14,000 in legal fees. Her parents spent
17:54considerably more on his aggressive lawyer, probably close to $25,000. It was worth every penny.
17:59I spent a penny for my peace of mind and closure. The last month was exhausting, but also profoundly
18:04revealing about who she really is. Her lawyer attempted one last desperate move in the straightaway
18:09Finally, she argued that she was entitled to ongoing spousal support because she had
18:14I have sacrificed professional opportunities to support our marriage and home. My lawyer
18:18She demolished this argument in about 10 minutes. She earns $67,000 a year as a manager of
18:23I work on projects at a reputable company. I earn $92,000 as an engineer. We don't have children together.
18:29She wasn't a stay-at-home wife who gave up her career for our sake.
18:34family. She was a hard-working professional who simply earns less than I do. That's no reason for the
18:39alimony in no reasonable interpretation of the law. The judge was completely
18:44Agreed. No spousal support was awarded. Clean break for both parties. During the hearing
18:49Finally, I saw her in person for the first time in almost two months. She looked tired, worn out by everything.
18:55The process was somehow bigger than I remembered. His mother was there in the gallery, throwing daggers at me.
19:00absolute stares from across the courtroom. Her father sat with his arms
19:05They were crossed, shaking their heads in disapproval at everything my lawyer said. His sister didn't
19:10She was present. Apparently, they had some kind of fight over something completely unrelated to the divorce.
19:15When we had to approach the table together to sign the final papers, she tried to
19:20speak to me in a low voice. I hope you know I never meant for any of this to happen. I told him, I know you didn't
19:25You wanted it to happen. That's almost worse, actually. She asked what I meant. I told her, if you had
19:32Dear, if you had planned everything, at least there would have been a reason, some calculation behind it.
19:36Instead, you simply spoke your truth in a moment of vulnerability. And your truth was that
19:42You would choose someone else over me. After everything we built together, after nine years,
19:47She said, "I was confused. I'm still confused about everything." I told her, "Then I genuinely..."
19:53I hope you find clarity eventually. I really do, but you're not going to find it.
19:58with me. She began to cry softly. Her mother immediately ran over, looking at me as if I had
20:04I personally caused all of this, as if I were the villain in their family's narrative. I signed my
20:09I wrote my name on the final line and left the courthouse. Here's what happened with your ex, since I know
20:14that everyone
20:14They're curious about that subplot. He never contacted her again after she
20:19He reached out to me during our separation. Complete radio silence from him. And now he's engaged.
20:24with his girlfriend. I saw the ad on social media last week. My fantasy man
20:29Her ex-wife was never truly available to her. She destroyed a real, functioning marriage.
20:34for an imaginary alternate future that was literally never going to happen. I heard through friends
20:39remaining mutuals that she is absolutely devastated by his engagement announcement, which
20:44She feels betrayed because he led her on with his messages. The irony is almost too perfect for
20:49to be real. She betrayed me because of a fantasy about someone who, in her mind, betrayed her by choosing
20:54to someone else. His mother has been telling anyone who will listen that I'm a monster.
20:58who abandoned his wife during a mental health crisis. Apparently, the confession in the
21:03Therapy is now being completely reframed as a breakdown that I should have supported.
21:08compassionately. The narrative gymnastics required to reach that conclusion would be genuinely
21:13Impressive if they weren't so transparently pathetic. Some mutual friends have taken sides.
21:18in all of this. Most went with her. She's always been better at the sympathy game.
21:23and generating emotional support, and her family has been working overtime on the campaign
21:27in public relations. I lost about six friends I thought were genuine and loyal. The handful
21:33Those who stayed and listened to my side were the ones who really mattered anyway. My friend
21:37He let me stay with him the whole time without complaining. He never asked for rent money.
21:42He never made me feel like a burden, not for a moment. When I tried to pay him for the services
21:46The extra money I had used, he told me to put toward the deposit for my new apartment. That's right.
21:51What true friendship looks like. I moved into my own place two weeks ago. One-bedroom apartment
21:56Room. Nothing fancy or impressive, but it's completely mine. Quiet neighborhood.
22:01A clean space, with no reminders of a life that is now completely over. I am bitter about it.
22:06how things ended. Sometimes, honestly, it's hard not to feel some bitterness when you realize
22:12realize that someone you loved deeply for nine years was secretly fantasizing
22:16with another person for at least six months. Probably longer. When you realize
22:21that the therapy was probably never really about saving the marriage, it was about her bringing them together
22:26the courage to eventually leave while dealing with her guilt. But mostly, I'm relieved.
22:31The worst part was never the divorce itself. It was the years of feeling that something was wrong, but not being sure.
22:36able to name it or address it directly. Now I finally know the truth. And to know, even when the
22:42The truth hurts deeply, but it's better than the alternative of living in uncertainty. She sent me one last
22:47The message arrived last week, after the divorce was finalized. It came via mail.
22:52electronically, since I blocked it everywhere else. I know you probably won't read this, but
22:57I need to say this anyway. I'm sorry, not for what I said in therapy. I've come to realize
23:02that
23:02I truly felt that way at the time, and she deserves to know the truth about where my head was. I'm sorry I didn't
23:07I was brave enough to say it before we wasted more years. I regret having
23:12You wasted your time and love. I hope you find someone who chooses you first.
23:16Every time. You deserve that from me, and I couldn't give it to you. I read it carefully. I didn't reply. There was nothing left.
23:23It's significant to say between us. She was right about one thing, however, I deserve someone who
23:28Choose me first without hesitation. And now I have the opportunity to find that person, even if it takes
23:34a
23:34Time to trust again. Even if it means being alone for now while I'm healthy. The house that
23:39What we built together now belongs to someone else. The future we planned together is gone.
23:43Completely. But I'm still here, a little poorer financially, significantly wiser.
23:49about people, and finally free from a marriage that was apparently one-sided because
23:53longer than I knew. Some people in my original post asked if I regret it.
23:58I should have left that therapy session, if I should have stayed calm and talked it out, if I should
24:03I should have given him the opportunity to explain or retract his statement. No, I don't regret it for a second. When
24:08When someone tells you who they really are, believe them immediately. When someone tells you they would choose
24:12Don't place someone above you; let them go. Don't beg, don't compete for affection. Don't try
24:18Trying to convince someone to love you when they've already told you they don't. Just go with your...
24:22Dignity intact. And don't look back. That's exactly what I did, and it's the best decision I've ever made.
Comentarios