- 7 weeks ago
My Wife's Lodger - 1952 - COLORIZED - Classic Comedy Movie
Category
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TVTranscript
00:00:15My wife's lodger each morning, and my wife's lodger every night.
00:00:23I'm always the scapegoat when anything goes wrong, but everything that Roger does is right.
00:00:31Now I've no time for Roger the Lodger, I trust him just as far as I could reach.
00:00:39He's a dodger, a bodger, a crappy kind of bodger, that's Roger the Lodger, the leech.
00:01:18The Lodger
00:01:27The Lodger
00:01:33Pass. Pass. Pass. Pass.
00:01:36Pass.
00:01:37Now do, lads.
00:01:42Is anyone sitting here?
00:01:44Yes, the invisible man.
00:01:47No, no, I mean, can I sit here?
00:01:49I don't know, try and see.
00:01:59Hey, it's brunt to be back home again.
00:02:02Glad you think so.
00:02:04Yeah, those handcuffs.
00:02:06No, we was born like this. We are Siamese twins.
00:02:11Nice day.
00:02:12Hmm? What? What?
00:02:14I said it was a nice day.
00:02:15Yes, yes, yes, I can see it is.
00:02:19Playing cards?
00:02:21No, association football.
00:02:23Oh.
00:02:24Solo.
00:02:25Pass.
00:02:26Pass.
00:02:27Abundance.
00:02:27Misere.
00:02:29Here, wait a minute. Who goes what?
00:02:32I passed.
00:02:33Well, so did I.
00:02:34Call a game.
00:02:36Solo.
00:02:37Pass.
00:02:37Pass.
00:02:38Abundance.
00:02:38Misere.
00:02:40Here, what's the game?
00:02:42Someone caught twice.
00:02:43Not me.
00:02:43I went abundance.
00:02:44I went solo.
00:02:46Who said misere?
00:02:47I did.
00:02:48Well, keep your bloomin' trap shut.
00:02:50Deal a game.
00:02:51Here, what's the game?
00:02:51We've got a surf bundle here.
00:02:53Pick them up.
00:02:53Well, it was his fault.
00:02:54Pick them up.
00:02:54Pick them up.
00:02:56Oh, dear, no seats in here either.
00:02:59That's all right, missus.
00:03:00You can have mine.
00:03:01Oh, thank you so much.
00:03:10Mum, I want to sit down now, Fern, and be a good boy.
00:03:14And perhaps the nice, kind sergeant will let you sit on his knee.
00:03:18But I don't want to sit on his knee.
00:03:20I'm very glad to hear it,
00:03:22because you ain't going to sit on the nice sergeant's knee.
00:03:25No, sergeant.
00:03:26He looks a nice little lad.
00:03:28Here, you keep out of it.
00:03:29I've read enough of you.
00:03:31Aye, sergeant.
00:03:34What, again?
00:03:35Well, I can't help it.
00:03:36I'm not a blinking camel.
00:03:37Come on.
00:03:44What a funny-looking man.
00:03:46Vernon, don't be rude to the gentleman.
00:03:48Oh, that's all right, missus.
00:03:50I think he's a very well-behaved little lad.
00:03:53Yes, he's no trouble.
00:03:54Just a teeny-weeny bit playful, that's all.
00:03:57Aye, well, all kids are, aren't they?
00:03:59They wouldn't be human if they weren't.
00:04:01You've got children of your own?
00:04:03Aye, I have that, too.
00:04:05A little lad and a little lass.
00:04:07I can't wait until I see them again.
00:04:10Been away long?
00:04:11Six years.
00:04:12Oh, that's a long time, isn't it?
00:04:15Yeah, they are.
00:04:17Oh, what nice kids.
00:04:19What a funny-looking dustbin.
00:04:22That's not a dustbin.
00:04:23That's me mother-in-law.
00:04:28You like my tie?
00:04:30Aye, it's very nice, isn't it?
00:04:38Oh, that's a clumsy thing, you.
00:04:40Now, look what you've done.
00:04:41You've not been wool on the floor.
00:04:43I'm sorry, love.
00:04:43It was an accident.
00:04:44I'll find it for you.
00:04:46Blimey, what, you again?
00:04:48What are you doing down there?
00:04:49If you say getting up,
00:04:50I'll give you a slap right round the pit.
00:04:51Oh, my goodness, ma'am.
00:04:52I have any peace.
00:04:55Move up, ma'am.
00:04:58Ouch.
00:05:01Ouch.
00:05:01Ouch.
00:05:02Ouch.
00:05:02Ouch.
00:05:02Ouch.
00:05:02I want to play cards.
00:05:04No, Vernon.
00:05:06I want to play cards.
00:05:07Never mind about cards, Vernon.
00:05:09You stick to your paws.
00:05:10But I can play happy families.
00:05:11If you don't keep quiet,
00:05:13they'll be a very unhappy family,
00:05:14and you won't know how unhappy they are.
00:05:16No one.
00:05:16Can't you keep this little scorpion quiet?
00:05:18Keep quiet, Vernon.
00:05:19Chancellor.
00:05:21He's no trouble at all, is he?
00:05:23He's not usually like this.
00:05:25I can't think what's come over the little fellow today.
00:05:28He must be over-tired.
00:05:31Adam, can't you make that wretched child behave?
00:05:34Vernon!
00:05:35Behave!
00:05:36That sandy little gadget.
00:05:37Let's have a look at it.
00:05:40What is this, a lunatic asylum?
00:05:43Haven't you grown up yet?
00:05:45Don't you hit my Vernon!
00:05:48Vernon, say you're sorry to the nice kind sergeant.
00:05:51Sorry, Sarge.
00:05:52All right, son, but don't do it again, that's all.
00:05:54Why don't you give the gentleman a seat?
00:05:56I guess we'll take as he likes, won't we, Tish?
00:05:58Yes.
00:05:59How about you, Tish?
00:06:02You, Tish?
00:06:17Blimey!
00:06:17It's so...
00:06:19Excuse me, madam.
00:06:24Yes, I can go, Tish!
00:06:25Good heavens!
00:06:26Smallpox!
00:06:27Oh!
00:06:28Oh!
00:06:29Oh!
00:06:30You must hear something about my time!
00:06:36Oh!
00:06:38Oh!
00:06:39Oh!
00:06:41Oh!
00:06:43Oh!
00:06:43Oh!
00:06:44Oh, God!
00:06:46Oh!
00:06:48Oh!
00:06:51Oh, my poor boy. Doctor, you must do something for my child.
00:06:55Please, please.
00:06:55Hi! You've got the wrong case.
00:06:57Hi! My case!
00:06:59Hi! My case!
00:07:03My case!
00:07:05My case!
00:07:08My case!
00:07:22There's Mrs Barton going into number nine.
00:07:25She don't look long for this world. Proper ragged, she looks.
00:07:29I suppose it's worrying over her husband going overseas.
00:07:32Well, my husband's been overseas for six years.
00:07:36But I hadn't worried myself into the grave over it.
00:07:39Oh, him! He's different.
00:07:43There's that Mrs Emmett going up the road.
00:07:46Her that's just got married.
00:07:49Oh, she made a lovely bride.
00:07:52She did look happy.
00:07:54Happy?
00:07:55I wouldn't say she looked happy.
00:07:58Relieved, you might say.
00:08:00Not happy.
00:08:03Mum!
00:08:05Hello, son. What is it? You're back early.
00:08:07Hi. I've got some wonderful news for you.
00:08:10Oh, what is it?
00:08:11I've got a sec. I'm fired.
00:08:13You know, I can go to dogs every day.
00:08:15Hey, this is my lucky day. That's what it is.
00:08:18Hey, it's not fair.
00:08:19If he can get the sack, so can I.
00:08:21Why should I have to work?
00:08:23Be quiet, the pair of you.
00:08:24All you think about is going to dogs, pallets and pictures.
00:08:27Why, I stay at home scrubbing and slaving for you.
00:08:31What for, I'd like to know.
00:08:32What have I got?
00:08:33Roger.
00:08:34The lodger.
00:08:36He, Mum, look at Rita.
00:08:39Did you ever go out with boys when you were a girl?
00:08:41Don't be so daft of co...
00:08:43I did once.
00:08:45And did you suffer for it?
00:08:47I married your father, didn't I?
00:08:51Don't bother to set a place for me, Mother.
00:08:53Why not, love?
00:08:54I'm going to Pally with Charlie Farley.
00:08:56Oh, have a bit of something before you go, won't you?
00:08:58No, I have the time.
00:09:00Horseman.
00:09:01Oh, if it's anything for me, don't open it.
00:09:03It's private.
00:09:04Ah, private's right.
00:09:06It's from Private Igginbottom.
00:09:08Oh, I bet he'll be wanting something or he wouldn't be writing.
00:09:13My dear Maggie-Anne, open your in the pink as it leaves me the same.
00:09:17I have had a long dose of CB, which is very catching, but I'm all right now.
00:09:23I'm coming home on leave, isn't it smashing?
00:09:26I haven't changed much as the laundry's very difficult.
00:09:30I'm still wearing the same socks you knitted me when I went away.
00:09:33And I've become quite attached to them.
00:09:36Love to you and the kids and the old war horse.
00:09:40If she's still with you, I hope not.
00:09:44Yours as before, will he?
00:09:46P.S. If I get home before this letter, don't bother to read it.
00:09:51Where?
00:09:53Your father's on his way home.
00:09:55Well, I'm on my way out.
00:09:57Got a date with Clarice Harris.
00:09:58Don't you want any tea, either?
00:10:01No, thanks, Mum.
00:10:07I can't go.
00:10:17No, thanks, Mum.
00:10:20I got so.
00:10:20No, no, no...
00:10:30Oh, my God.
00:11:09How are you, love?
00:11:10Hello.
00:11:13It's Willie Higginbottom.
00:11:25Anybody at home?
00:11:31I've come back.
00:11:39Oh, so it's you, is it?
00:11:48Hello, Maggie Ann. Here I am at last.
00:11:51I heard you. Blowing your own trumpet.
00:11:55Aren't you glad to see me?
00:11:57Well, I don't rightly know.
00:11:59Well, give us a kiss while you think it over.
00:12:01Oh, aye.
00:12:03You have waited six years for that.
00:12:06You've been drinking.
00:12:07Well, just have one or two with the lads to celebrate.
00:12:09I don't see any flags out here.
00:12:11We've got no flags.
00:12:13Besides, we didn't know you were coming back.
00:12:15Well, didn't you get my letter?
00:12:16Five minutes ago.
00:12:18You haven't changed much.
00:12:19No, neither have you.
00:12:21I do.
00:12:21Why, you're just as lovely as you were when I went away.
00:12:24Hmm.
00:12:25I wish you meant it.
00:12:26I do mean it.
00:12:27You do look nice, really, you do.
00:12:29After knocking about all over the world and seeing different sorts of women, you know, yellow women and black women.
00:12:35Oh, so you've been messing about with black women, have you?
00:12:39I haven't been messing about with black women.
00:12:41Oh, yes, you have.
00:12:42You've just said so.
00:12:43Oh, you're starting already, are you?
00:12:45I'm not starting anything, but I'm not going to be compared with black women and that's that.
00:12:49I didn't mean it.
00:12:51Eee!
00:12:52What's all the noise about?
00:12:54Nothing, mother, nothing.
00:12:56Listen, love, don't let's start quarrelling the minute I get back.
00:12:59I don't want to quarrel, I'm sure.
00:13:01Oh, neither do I.
00:13:03All I want's a bit of peace and quiet.
00:13:05There goes Mrs. Jepson.
00:13:07She's going to have a baby, according to Mrs. Harris.
00:13:11Going to have a baby?
00:13:14Well.
00:13:17Well, don't look at me.
00:13:19I've been away for six years.
00:13:22Disgraceful, I call it.
00:13:24Having a baby and her husband's been overseas two and a half years.
00:13:28Well, there's nothing in that.
00:13:30There's two and a half years between our Eunice and our Norman.
00:13:34I think the sun's got to your head.
00:13:39Well, Mum, what about it?
00:13:41Well, I never...
00:13:42Are you going to a funeral?
00:13:43Take no notice, it's only a father.
00:13:46Why?
00:13:46It's right.
00:13:49Smart.
00:13:50Hello, stranger.
00:13:52Be making a bit of a career for yourself in Korea.
00:13:56No, I just committed suicide on the suicide.
00:13:59Oh, right.
00:14:00Good, Dad.
00:14:01Right, snappy.
00:14:02Well, you're growing quite a big lad.
00:14:05Are you working or is that a rude question?
00:14:08Well, not at moment.
00:14:10Just looking round for good opening.
00:14:12Oh, aye.
00:14:13That's what the rabbit said to the greyhound.
00:14:16I don't get it.
00:14:17Too snappy for you.
00:14:19Oh.
00:14:19Well, sorry I can't stop.
00:14:21Where are you going, lad?
00:14:23Round at Clarissa's.
00:14:24They're holding a big party tonight.
00:14:27Her dad's just come back from overseas.
00:14:34Oh, well.
00:14:41Here.
00:14:42Do you know what happens to a girl who wears woolen stockings?
00:14:46No.
00:14:46What?
00:14:47Nothing.
00:15:00I did.
00:15:01Mother.
00:15:02How do I look?
00:15:03Eee, it's must be coming.
00:15:06It'll be coming off in a minute.
00:15:07Oh, is your dad back?
00:15:09Hello, Dad.
00:15:09Where are you going, lass?
00:15:11I'm going out.
00:15:12I didn't think you were going to crawl up the chimney.
00:15:14Hey, does she have to put all this muck on her face?
00:15:17She's grown up now, you know.
00:15:18You can't treat her like a kid.
00:15:20I've a right to know where me own daughter's going to, haven't I?
00:15:22She's not 21 yet.
00:15:24He asked me last night, mother.
00:15:26Who did?
00:15:27Charlie Fowley.
00:15:28Asked you what?
00:15:29To marry him, of course.
00:15:31What do you think?
00:15:32Well, I never did.
00:15:33And will you?
00:15:36I think so.
00:15:37Hey, wait a minute.
00:15:39He'll have to keep you.
00:15:40He knows that, I suppose.
00:15:41Aye?
00:15:41He wants to.
00:15:42He must be crackers.
00:15:44Hey, don't I get consulted about this?
00:15:45About what?
00:15:46About our Eunice getting wed.
00:15:48I don't see why you should.
00:15:50She's known Charlie Fowley a long time now.
00:15:52Haven't you, love?
00:15:53Aye.
00:15:54Six weeks.
00:15:55Hey, hey, hey.
00:15:56Who is this Charlie Fowley?
00:15:57That's what I want to know.
00:15:58A chap.
00:15:59I know he's a chap.
00:16:00You don't think I thought he was a greyhound, do you?
00:16:02Oh, that's his job.
00:16:03What is?
00:16:03Greyhounds, the dog track.
00:16:05Oh, hey, he works at a dog track, does he?
00:16:07And what does he do with the dog track?
00:16:10Goes round with the brush and shovel, I suppose.
00:16:13No, he doesn't.
00:16:14He's got a good job.
00:16:16Why isn't he in the army?
00:16:17He's graded.
00:16:19He's got a fatty heart and flat feet.
00:16:22Aye, but he's ever so nice.
00:16:25He's got a fatty heart and flat feet.
00:16:30But he's ever so nice.
00:16:34That settles it.
00:16:35I'm not having any daughter of mine getting married to a fellow with a flat heart and fatty feet that
00:16:41works at a dog track.
00:16:43What you want and what I want are very different things.
00:16:46I've been running the family while you've been away, and I'm not having you interfering now you've come back.
00:16:51I don't see why I shouldn't marry Charlie Fowley.
00:16:54I shall have to marry someone, I suppose, and he's as good as anybody.
00:16:57Anyway, he's got ambitions.
00:16:59Oh, has he?
00:17:00He wants to marry me and have a big family.
00:17:03Oh, does he?
00:17:04Well, she can get that idea right out of her head.
00:17:08I'm not going to be cluttered up for the rest of my life with a lot of little Charlie Fowleys
00:17:13running around with fatty hearts and flat feet.
00:17:17And furthermore, you haven't told me where you're going yet, dressed up like that.
00:17:21Well, if you must know, I'm going to meet him at the palais.
00:17:25At what?
00:17:25At the palais.
00:17:27I saw one once.
00:17:29Saw what, mother?
00:17:31A bally.
00:17:32It was at the old Theatre Royal, in the pantomime.
00:17:38He's had a lovely transformation scene too.
00:17:41Nobody's talking about ballys.
00:17:44Our Eunice is going to the palais, the dance hall.
00:17:48Why don't you speak plain English?
00:17:51Nobody's talking to you any road.
00:17:53Don't you talk to my mother like that.
00:17:55Well, let her keep out of this.
00:17:57Hey, what's this palais you're going to anyway?
00:17:59The palais de dance.
00:18:01I work there.
00:18:02What that?
00:18:03Jitterbuggin.
00:18:03Jitter-what-in?
00:18:05Jitterbuggin.
00:18:06What-a-buggin?
00:18:07Jitterbuggin.
00:18:08Eh, what horrible language.
00:18:11Eh, what the blazes is jitterbuggin.
00:18:14Mmh.
00:18:16Sigh.
00:18:17Sigh.
00:18:57We are interrupting our program of dance music for a special announcement.
00:19:01A case belonging to a doctor and containing 20 files of phenol barbitone was taken by mistake.
00:19:11Sit down, love. Don't be late at home. And don't smoke too many cigarettes. It'll give you a bad color.
00:19:16One more color on her face wouldn't make much difference. So you smoke cigarettes now, do you?
00:19:23Yes, I do. So what?
00:19:25So what? So what what?
00:19:27So what nothing. I just said so what.
00:19:30I know you did. What are you talking about?
00:19:32You can't say so what nothing. You're asking a question, aren't you? Where's your grammar?
00:19:37Ah, you're a proper little devil getting, aren't you? Making up and smoking cigarettes, you'll be drinking next.
00:19:44Aye, I do that too. And I shall probably have a couple of small ports with Charlie Farley tonight.
00:19:50Well, TTFN.
00:19:52TTFN? What's that?
00:19:54Ta-ta for now.
00:20:01Well, DGQD.
00:20:04What's DGQD?
00:20:05Don't go quite daft.
00:20:08Give my love to Roger, Ma.
00:20:09Okay, darling. Don't be late.
00:20:12Who's Roger?
00:20:13The lodger.
00:20:14Aye, the lodger. What's he like, Maggie?
00:20:17He's a fine man, that's what he is. Works hard and earns good money.
00:20:22What doing?
00:20:22Big business. He's a key man.
00:20:26Now, give us one from under the car, don't you?
00:20:30So.
00:20:32Here, Roger.
00:20:34You know that youngest lad of ours, young Sammy?
00:20:37He's a bright lad he is. You ought to get him in the business.
00:20:41To the day he said to me,
00:20:42Dad, what's the letter on the back of the car? The letter L?
00:20:47I said, it's for learner.
00:20:50Today, he says, that car with the L on the back now has got GB on it.
00:20:55Does that mean the driver's getting better?
00:21:00GB getting better.
00:21:04He's a bright lad as ours, Sammy.
00:21:06Very good. Very good indeed.
00:21:09Checked up on that lorry for you, Gov.
00:21:11Leaves the factory at three.
00:21:12Passes here about 4.30.
00:21:14Thanks, Cov.
00:21:23Thanks, Joe.
00:21:24Here's your cut on the nylons, Joe.
00:21:26Oh, thanks.
00:21:28Here's a...
00:21:29Don't waste much time, do you?
00:21:31Yeah, that's chicken feet.
00:21:33Chicken feet.
00:21:34Nice business.
00:21:35Booming.
00:21:36As a matter of fact, I've got something really big coming off soon.
00:21:40Fags.
00:21:41Billions of fags.
00:21:42Can you drive a lorry, Joe?
00:21:44Drive anything on four wheels.
00:21:46That's me boy.
00:21:46Now, look, I'll give you the lowdown later.
00:21:48I mean, I'm taking my landlady to the pictures tonight.
00:21:50I don't know why you hang out up to her.
00:21:53She ain't got no dough, has she?
00:21:54She's got plenty of Ray, me.
00:21:57Besides, give me a nice respectable background.
00:22:00All right, all right.
00:22:01You don't mind, do you, Joe?
00:22:02Yeah, it's all right.
00:22:03Good night, mate.
00:22:04Good night.
00:22:04Good night.
00:22:06Good night.
00:22:13Oh, Willie, you're in my way.
00:22:16Come out of it.
00:22:17Good night.
00:22:19Sit down while I get Roger's tea.
00:22:22You can have yours later.
00:22:24After Roger's finish.
00:22:25That's right.
00:22:26If there's any left.
00:22:28That's right.
00:22:29I expect he'll be hungry.
00:22:30Why, does he work in the Ministry of Food?
00:22:33No, he's in rearmament.
00:22:35In rearmament, I'll bet he is.
00:22:38Oh, he want his tea early tonight.
00:22:40He's going to the flick.
00:22:42I do wish he'd come in.
00:22:44I'll never get washed up in time.
00:22:45Well, there's no worry.
00:22:46You've got all night, haven't you?
00:22:49That is, unless Roger's taking you with him to the flicks.
00:22:52That's exactly what he is doing.
00:22:54Ah.
00:22:55What?
00:22:57You don't mean to say you go out to the pictures with Roger and the lodger, do you?
00:23:01There's no harm in a gentleman taking a lady to the pictures I own.
00:23:06Oh, I suppose not, as long as it stops at that.
00:23:09What do you care what I do?
00:23:11You've been away for six years, and I don't suppose you've even brought me back a present.
00:23:17Ah.
00:23:19That's where you're wrong.
00:23:21Just what I have done.
00:23:22What have you brought me?
00:23:23A brand new dress.
00:23:25A new dress?
00:23:27Aye, all the way from the glamorous east.
00:23:30Here it is.
00:23:32You wear the flowers to cover your top, and the skirt to cover the rest of you.
00:23:40Am I supposed to go around in a thing like that?
00:23:43Why not its latest fashion in Bonga Wonga?
00:23:46This isn't Bonga Wonga.
00:23:48Expecting me to go around in a grass skirt and a ring of roses?
00:23:51Well, Eve only had a fig leaf, and she didn't grumble.
00:23:53She had had them.
00:23:55Aye, and you've got Willie Higginbottom.
00:23:57And a couple of kids you seem to have forgotten.
00:24:00Oh, no, I haven't.
00:24:02I've got presents for them and all.
00:24:04Oh.
00:24:10Oh, no, I haven't.
00:24:39Have you brought those back for our kids?
00:24:42Aye.
00:24:47I didn't realise they'd grown so big.
00:24:51Well, you didn't suppose they'd grow any smaller, did you?
00:24:56It didn't occur to me.
00:25:01Hey.
00:25:02It shoots muck out at back.
00:25:04Look.
00:25:05Look.
00:25:13What do you think you're doing?
00:25:16I wish there were no presents.
00:25:18I do.
00:25:19I do.
00:25:20For oak and picking gives me a licking, but I'm rather fond of a little bit of licking in me.
00:25:24yeah.
00:25:29So, I don't know.
00:25:29Hello, hello, hello.
00:25:30How are you, Maggie?
00:25:32Look what I've brought you.
00:25:34You got a visitor, I see.
00:25:36Oh, Roger, this is Willie, my husband.
00:25:40Willie, this is Roger.
00:25:41Oh, I have a lodger.
00:25:43I do. Playing with your toys?
00:25:50Healing peckies, Roger?
00:25:51Oh, I'm always ready for a bit of your cooking, Maggie.
00:25:54You know, I always say if you haven't tasted Maggie's tripe, you don't know what tripe is.
00:25:59You're talking a lot of tripe, I know that.
00:26:02Sit down, Roger. I won't be a minute. I'm just brewing tea.
00:26:14Get up, Willie.
00:26:16What for?
00:26:18You're on Roger's chair.
00:26:19Well, I'll be...
00:26:20Get up, Willie. Roger's tired.
00:26:24Sit down, Roger. I won't be a minute.
00:26:30Make yourself at home.
00:26:32I am at home.
00:26:45You've been working pretty hard, I suppose.
00:26:48Well, we keep on doing our bits, you know.
00:26:50Still got to keep the lads in Korea going.
00:26:52Oh, aye, you got to keep them going.
00:26:54And you're taking my wife to the pictures tonight.
00:26:58Yes.
00:26:59You don't mind, do you, man?
00:27:00No, no, no, no, no.
00:27:02You know, when you've been working hard all day, you feel like a bit of relaxation in the evening.
00:27:05Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:27:06No good knocking yourself up now, is it?
00:27:08Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:27:09All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, you know.
00:27:13Of course.
00:27:14I wanted to join the army, but they wouldn't let me go.
00:27:17Wouldn't they?
00:27:18Nah.
00:27:19I'm in a reserved occupation.
00:27:21Oh, aye.
00:27:22You know, it's one of the biggest regrets of my life
00:27:24that I wasn't over there not getting a stuffing out of them Nazis.
00:27:27You'd have loved it.
00:27:29Still, somebody's got to do the work, old man.
00:27:31Somebody's got to turn out the armaments.
00:27:32Aye.
00:27:33Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to have any more nice wars, would you?
00:27:36What do you mean?
00:27:37Come and get your tea, Roger.
00:27:39You're having your usual cup of char with me, aren't you?
00:27:41Oh, I'll have a cup to keep you company.
00:27:43But I've had a good lunch.
00:27:44I had a smashing lunch, too.
00:27:46I never had any lunch at all.
00:27:48Two egg and bubble, four a dripping, sultana put, and two cups of rosy leaf.
00:27:52Tasty.
00:27:53We had a couple of faggots, Mum and I, with some fried potatoes and tinned peas.
00:27:57Lovely.
00:27:58I had a meat pie with no meat in it.
00:28:00Lousy.
00:28:01How are the sausages, Roger?
00:28:03Ah, thoroughbreds.
00:28:04Not my idea of a tea, you know.
00:28:05If there's one thing I like more than another, it's a nice bit of cold ham.
00:28:08Oh, aye.
00:28:09But look at the price.
00:28:10Well, I'm not blaming you.
00:28:11I think you do very well here.
00:28:12Consider it.
00:28:13You don't do so badly yourself here.
00:28:15What the devil do you think you're playing?
00:28:16I'm sorry.
00:28:17Did I splash you?
00:28:18Of course you did.
00:28:18I might be down.
00:28:20Don't do that.
00:28:21I've got to eat those.
00:28:21Good.
00:28:23I've never seen anything like it in my life, you faddy.
00:28:31Oh, what a shame.
00:28:34Cat won't eat it now.
00:28:36I'll get my hat and coat on or we'll be late for the pictures.
00:28:42What are you looking so miserable about?
00:28:45You don't mind my going to the pictures with Roger, do you?
00:28:48No, I suppose not.
00:28:50I just thought that as it was my first night back home,
00:28:53you might have liked to have stopped him for a bit.
00:28:56Or else come out with me, love.
00:28:58Oh, well, we made our arrangements now.
00:29:01You don't want me to disappoint Roger, do you?
00:29:04You must be tired after your long journey, old man.
00:29:07You take it easy.
00:29:09I'll tell you what, you can have my chair if you like.
00:29:12Oh, thanks very much.
00:29:14Till I come home.
00:29:14Ready, mate?
00:29:16Clear Roger's tea things away and wash up
00:29:18and don't break anything.
00:29:20Eh, what about my tea?
00:29:22Oh, there's some corned beef in the lard.
00:29:24You can have that.
00:29:25Well, there's some okołoż.
00:29:29I'll do February in the morning, �'ie.
00:29:42Here's my salad.
00:29:42Let's eat lunch.
00:29:42Let's eat!
00:29:46Let's go.
00:29:46order something tomorrow to receive great work.
00:29:55Let's eat you.
00:29:55Oh, my God.
00:30:31Scrape!
00:30:42Hey, have a shot of this.
00:30:44What's that?
00:30:45Baby, one shot of that and you'll spit in the eye of a tiger.
00:30:49Oh, no, I couldn't.
00:30:50Oh, come on.
00:30:52No, I don't like whiskey.
00:30:53But you've got to have something.
00:30:55I can't drink of my own.
00:30:56Well, I don't know what to have.
00:30:58I'm so hot.
00:31:01Baby, you sure said it.
00:31:03Well, I think I'll have a nice, long, cool drink.
00:31:06Yeah, I know.
00:31:07Something long and cold and full of gin.
00:31:10Take my wife.
00:31:11Baby, when you look at me like that, I get goose pimples on my goose pimples.
00:31:16Oh, go on.
00:31:17You Americans are all like that.
00:31:19Well, we all got two things in common and...
00:31:22Well, one of them's drink.
00:31:25What's the other?
00:31:29Baby, you've got me coming and going.
00:31:33Let's dance again, shall we?
00:31:35No.
00:31:36No, the weather's too rough.
00:31:38I gotta go.
00:31:39Well, I don't want to go yet.
00:31:41That's right.
00:31:42You stay here, baby.
00:31:43Baby, I'm on a secret mission.
00:31:45Man about a dog.
00:31:47Well, can't I go with you to see the man about the dog?
00:31:51I'm sorry, baby.
00:31:52The dog might bite you.
00:31:54So long, baby.
00:31:55I'll be seeing him.
00:31:59Like that.
00:32:04Cinderella, that's me.
00:32:07Cinder-uddy-rella.
00:32:10The ugly sisters have gone to the blinking ball and left me to do the fiddling washing up.
00:32:20And I don't see any flippin' fairy godmother.
00:32:41Hey!
00:32:42Hey, you know the home of that guy called Bittenhugum?
00:32:47Bittenhugum.
00:32:49Bittenhugum.
00:32:51Oh!
00:32:53You mean Higginbottom.
00:32:54That's what I said, friend.
00:32:57Bittenhugum.
00:32:58Aye.
00:33:00That's his house there.
00:33:02Oh, thanks, pal.
00:33:05Oh, that's all right.
00:33:07Don't stand on ceremony with Willie Higginbottom.
00:33:10Just open the door and walk in.
00:33:15Oh, how are you, brother?
00:33:18We've been drivin' through the jungle in Korea, scootin' at gorillas far nearer.
00:33:24We have chased them from the border, reached on law and order.
00:33:28Hiya, pal.
00:33:29How do?
00:33:30Hey, anybody in?
00:33:32No.
00:33:33Can I do anything for you?
00:33:35Yeah, I reckon you can.
00:33:36Yeah, but I don't remember what it is.
00:33:38Hey, you're not Charlie Farley by any chance.
00:33:42No.
00:33:42No, I guess I ain't.
00:33:43Pal, just call him a Texas.
00:33:44I swear I come from good old Texas, the Lone Star State.
00:33:49Restore and law and order.
00:33:51Chasing from the border.
00:33:53Restore and law and order.
00:33:55Restore and law and order.
00:33:57Hey, turn it up.
00:33:58Turn it up.
00:33:59You'll wake the old bloomin' street up.
00:34:01Oh, I'm sorry, pal.
00:34:03I just feel kind of happy, that's all.
00:34:06I just got back from Korea.
00:34:08Oh, dear.
00:34:09That's funny.
00:34:10I just got back from abroad meself.
00:34:12Yeah, don't say.
00:34:13Well, now, if that ain't a coincidence.
00:34:16This calls for a little celebration.
00:34:19Do you like rye?
00:34:21Ah, good.
00:34:22Got any glasses?
00:34:24I'll get some.
00:34:25It's very well.
00:34:32Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:34:37Listen.
00:34:37Look, we've got to be very quiet about this, you see.
00:34:40Me mother-in-law's poorly.
00:34:42Oh, I'm sorry, pal.
00:34:44Hey, when the old girl like a shot of this, this'll put her to sleep by.
00:34:49No.
00:34:50No, let's leave her out of it.
00:34:53Between you and me, she's a bit of a nagger.
00:34:56I get you, pal.
00:34:57I've had a few mothers-in-law myself.
00:35:00Well, here's how.
00:35:02See you.
00:35:03See you.
00:35:18See you.
00:35:27It sort of takes you apart, doesn't it?
00:35:31This is what we used to call leopard sweat.
00:35:37Oh, it's my wife's lodger every morning.
00:35:41What's that?
00:35:42It's my wife's lodger every morning, and my wife's lodger every night.
00:35:49Stop that noise!
00:35:50Hey, that reminds me.
00:35:52My old woman's gone off to the pictures with Roger.
00:35:55Who's he?
00:35:55The lodger.
00:35:56I'm always in trouble when anything goes wrong.
00:36:01Goes wrong.
00:36:02But everything that Roger does is right.
00:36:05Is right.
00:36:06Everything.
00:36:15Now, tell me, when did you get back?
00:36:17Only today.
00:36:19Have a nice trip?
00:36:20No, terrible.
00:36:21The ship was too uncomfortable.
00:36:24Uncomfortable.
00:36:26Too full of them.
00:36:29Hey, 350 junior officers on board,
00:36:33and 11 nursing sisters.
00:36:37Never have so few been chased by so many for so long, for so little.
00:36:46Okay, pal.
00:36:48So you had a tough time.
00:36:50Did I ever tell you about the time I captured an enemy bunker?
00:36:55Single-handed?
00:36:57No.
00:36:57Tell me.
00:36:58We're attacking through the jungle, see?
00:37:00I get separated from my section.
00:37:02What are you?
00:37:06I don't know.
00:37:07Well, I'll tell you.
00:37:09I crawled out of a patch of scrub, see?
00:37:12And there, right in front of me is the bunker.
00:37:15So I grab my gun.
00:37:16And I'll give him a short burst.
00:37:21Then I give him another burst.
00:37:24Now he's been to the bunker.
00:37:27And I'll give him all I've got left.
00:37:44Hey.
00:37:45Hey.
00:37:58Now I've no time for Roger the Lodger.
00:38:02The Lodger.
00:38:03I trust him just as far as I could reach.
00:38:07I could reach.
00:38:07He's a codger.
00:38:09Drop that door!
00:38:10Stop it!
00:38:10The kind of edgy is Roger the Lodger the Lodger the Leech.
00:38:19Hey.
00:38:20What?
00:38:20Take my daughter.
00:38:22Thanks, pal.
00:38:23What's that?
00:38:26So you fungal kind of dutch.
00:38:28You know what I mean?
00:38:29Pokey-woogie.
00:38:30Pokey-woogie?
00:38:31Is that it?
00:38:32Yeah, pokey-woogie.
00:38:33Something about cats and heaps.
00:38:56What's that?
00:38:57Moise.
00:38:58Where clogs them?
00:39:01It's my mother in love.
00:39:02Tell her to go chase herself, friend.
00:39:05Are you a man or a mouse?
00:39:07I'm a man by a swivel.
00:39:09I'm a mouse.
00:39:17Tell her to take a powder.
00:39:19Siddly's powder.
00:39:20Tell her to take a powder.
00:39:26I'm a brother Martin.
00:39:28You've got some of the skins.
00:39:30Oh!
00:39:42Settle, doh.
00:39:44Settle, boy.
00:39:45Keep it up.
00:39:46Don't you stand for that bologna for many of them.
00:39:49Tell them all to scram.
00:39:51I think I will.
00:39:53Oh, boy.
00:39:54And as for Roger the Lodger, do you know what I'd do about him?
00:40:03And as for the washing up, do you know what I'd do about the washing up?
00:40:08No.
00:40:08I'd chuck the whole darn lot out of the window.
00:40:14I never thought of that.
00:40:23What are we waiting for?
00:40:25Let's go, brother.
00:41:02You can't do that.
00:41:04Can't, huh?
00:41:05I think this one's home is his cup.
00:41:21Who could conjure a scene more beautiful than these enchanting Hawaiian girls dancing to
00:41:27the strains of native guitars as those surf-covered breakers forever keep rolling in onto those
00:41:35coral-studded beaches?
00:41:37I says, cigarettes, chocolates.
00:41:39Would you like an ice, Mickey?
00:41:41I don't mind if I do.
00:41:42One, please.
00:41:48I say, cigarettes, chocolate.
00:41:50Now with this thought in our minds, we say farewell to lovely Waikiki, where men are men, and
00:41:59the women are constantly reminding them of it.
00:42:03Our honeymoon, Maggie.
00:42:05Oh, give over, Roger.
00:42:07Shh.
00:42:07Turn it up.
00:42:09What's the matter with you?
00:42:11I don't think I should have left Willie all on his own tonight, you know.
00:42:15After all, it is his first night home.
00:42:18Anyway, let's hope it's getting on with washing up.
00:42:21You gotta be bossing your own house.
00:42:24Get me?
00:42:25Get ya.
00:42:26You don't want to stay away from your wife or the kids.
00:42:31Get me?
00:42:32Get ya.
00:42:33Or the watch.
00:42:35Get me?
00:42:36Get ya.
00:42:37Oh, dear, oh, dear.
00:42:41Oh, dear, oh, dear.
00:42:48Willie.
00:42:49Let's you and me go out and get another bottle of rye.
00:42:52Aye, that's a good idea.
00:42:55I'm getting to like this rye.
00:42:58I'm getting a craving for it.
00:43:01We're roopin' shootin' guys from Idaho, Idaho, Idaho.
00:43:06Sweepin' all the fire.
00:43:07He's all down there.
00:43:10Ah.
00:43:38Why don't you go forth, sir, honey?
00:43:39and marry me. Bud, I must
00:43:42have time to think it over.
00:43:44I'm crazy about you.
00:43:46Give me a kiss.
00:43:48Give over, Welcher. Gee, baby,
00:43:50you're swell. I'm crazy about every
00:43:51little thing about you. Your hair,
00:43:54your eyes, your neck.
00:43:56Give over, Welcher.
00:43:58Shh. I can't be mad at any longer.
00:44:00Leave him, baby, and come away
00:44:01with me. No, I can't.
00:44:03He's like us, Mike. Why can't you?
00:44:05Well, I'm afraid, Bud.
00:44:07He's only a wrestler, ain't he?
00:44:09Yeah, Bud, but a Russian
00:44:11wrestler, and he's so big and strong.
00:44:14Oh, forget it.
00:44:15Come away now, will you, baby?
00:44:17Gee, I don't know. Say you will,
00:44:20baby. Say you will, Maggie.
00:44:22Okay, Bud.
00:44:24I'll come.
00:44:26There you are, Maggie.
00:44:28My husband. Who in the hell are you?
00:44:30I am Romina, the Russian
00:44:32wrestler. Who are you?
00:44:34I'm Popin' off the American Sprinter.
00:44:36Good night. On are you down.
00:44:39Oh, Bud!
00:44:40He shot him!
00:44:41Ha!
00:44:42They've been the party again.
00:44:44Come over, Roger.
00:44:46What's the matter with you?
00:44:48Let's go, let's go.
00:44:51Let's go get a glass.
00:44:53Oh, we'll be all the waiting on me.
00:44:55Ah, will he?
00:44:56Come over, Roger.
00:45:08You know, pal, it's kind of cozy
00:45:11here of us.
00:45:13Hey, friend.
00:45:14Do you live here?
00:45:15Nay, I'm on holiday.
00:45:18Did you spend your holidays here?
00:45:21Aye.
00:45:21I haven't had a holiday in five years.
00:45:24I looked at council and they told me to take my holidays at my own convenience.
00:45:35Because it's my pleasure!
00:45:43Well, what's been going on, Mother?
00:45:46It's murder, that's what it is. They've been smashing plays up between them.
00:45:50All right.
00:45:52Willie, and another drunk. I thought it was them coming back.
00:45:55They tried to shoot me.
00:45:58Tried to follow me up the stairs.
00:46:00They didn't get into your bedroom, did they, Mother?
00:46:02No, I wouldn't let them, the lustful hounds.
00:46:06Oh, never mind, Mother. Go back to bed, love.
00:46:10I'll take care of Willie when he comes in.
00:46:15Oh!
00:46:19Oh, this is a nice old carry-on, I must say.
00:46:22Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
00:46:25Whiskey.
00:46:27Empty.
00:46:29After all I've done for him.
00:46:33Slaved meself for the ball.
00:46:34Kept the house nice and clean for him to come back to.
00:46:37Brought his children up.
00:46:38This is what I get in return.
00:46:40You know, Maggie, I've been thinking.
00:46:43What about?
00:46:44About you and me and him.
00:46:46What about us?
00:46:47He's no good to you, Maggie.
00:46:48Cut him right out of your life.
00:46:50You know, like they've done at the pictures.
00:46:51Get rid of him once and for all.
00:46:53Give him his cards.
00:46:55Oh, you don't mean divorce.
00:46:57Why not?
00:46:57Then you and me could get spliced.
00:47:00Oh, I don't know what to think.
00:47:01Well, you like me, don't you?
00:47:03I'm very fond of you, Roger, but...
00:47:05I knew it.
00:47:05And I get on all right with that old, er, with your mother, don't I?
00:47:08Ah, you do.
00:47:09Well, what about it?
00:47:12You've quite took my breath away.
00:47:14Oh, no, girl, you can't cover that tale with me, you know.
00:47:17I don't know what you mean.
00:47:20You've been nice to me and I've appreciated you,
00:47:22but you can't say I've ever let you make love to me.
00:47:24No, I suppose you haven't, really.
00:47:25You can't say I've ever given you any encouragement, I'm sure.
00:47:29No, you've been a bit cold, I must say.
00:47:31Anyhow, what about it?
00:47:32Oh, it's not as easy as all that.
00:47:38You see, I've been married to Willie now for nearly 20 years.
00:47:43He's become a sort of habit.
00:47:45That's just it.
00:47:46A bad habit.
00:47:48You want to break yourself of him.
00:47:49Oh, you can't decide things like that all in a minute.
00:47:52But you don't love him, do you?
00:47:56Sometimes I think I do.
00:47:58What?
00:47:58He's so pathetic.
00:48:00Like an overgrown school lad.
00:48:03Sometimes I feel so sorry for him.
00:48:06And then he goes on my ears like he's done tonight.
00:48:09Oh, I could throttle him.
00:48:12And another thing, Roger.
00:48:14I don't know much about you, do I?
00:48:17You haven't told me anything about yourself, have you?
00:48:21Such as?
00:48:22Well, you've been married for one thing.
00:48:25No, I've never been married.
00:48:27I don't know why.
00:48:28It's not that I'm not the marrying kind.
00:48:31It's...
00:48:31Well, I suppose I've never met the right girl.
00:48:34Until now.
00:48:35You don't seem to get any letters, do you?
00:48:38No, no, I don't do I, no.
00:48:40Well, you know, I'm just one of these lonely blokes.
00:48:43You know, I don't make many friends.
00:48:44Just go jogging along.
00:48:48But we don't want to get over sentimental, do we?
00:48:50Oh, no.
00:48:51Good night, Roger.
00:48:57Then I take it you've thrown me down.
00:48:59Well, no, Roger.
00:49:00I wouldn't say that exactly.
00:49:02Only it'll take a lot of thinking over.
00:49:04But before anything can happen, I've got to have it up with Willie about this here carry-on tonight.
00:49:09Look here, my Aunt Fanny's best vase broken.
00:49:12Oh.
00:49:12Anyhow, think over what I've said, eh?
00:49:14And give us a kiss to be going on with it.
00:49:15Not now, Roger, not now.
00:49:17Oh, come on, Maggie, just one for the luck.
00:49:19Give over, Roger.
00:49:20Maggie, listen.
00:49:34Who's that?
00:49:35Me, Mum.
00:49:37You're back early from Pally.
00:49:42I'm fed up.
00:49:43So am I.
00:49:44And neither I do have had you tonight.
00:49:46I met the most wonderful American soldier.
00:49:49I knew it.
00:49:50Tell me the worst.
00:49:52Well, he was tall and handsome and oh, what eyes.
00:49:57He'd only got to look at you with those eyes.
00:49:59Well, what else would he look at you with, girl?
00:50:00His teeth?
00:50:02I could tell by the way he was looking at me just what he was thinking about.
00:50:05I could tell what he was thinking about without looking.
00:50:08Why are you back so early?
00:50:10Well, he gave me the brush off and left me with Charlie Farley.
00:50:14Oh, well, get to your bed and stop wasting your time on American soldiers.
00:50:17Oh, but this one's different.
00:50:19Oh, why, they're all different in uniform.
00:50:21But see them without it, they all look much the same.
00:50:23Only some look worse than others.
00:50:25You've never been in love, have you?
00:50:27That's not the right question for a girl to ask a mother.
00:50:29Well, how could anyone ever have been in love with Dad?
00:50:33Don't be daft.
00:50:34Get to your bed and don't talk a lot of rubbish.
00:50:38Poor Ma.
00:50:39You know, I feel sorry for you.
00:50:41You don't know what it's like being in love.
00:50:44It's beautiful.
00:50:49Love.
00:50:50He is a Roger, a Roger, a crafty kind.
00:50:56Shh.
00:50:57Shh.
00:50:59We're home.
00:51:01Okay, brother.
00:51:05Mustn't wake up me mother-in-law.
00:51:07What's the matter? Is she sick?
00:51:09She may be a death star.
00:51:12Don't worry, pal. We'll pour through.
00:51:19Slot.
00:51:20Are you gonna stand for that?
00:51:22What?
00:51:23Locked out by a lousy lodger.
00:51:25Am I?
00:51:26Sure you are.
00:51:27And here's where you show them who's boss, pal.
00:51:30Am I? I will.
00:51:32Open the door is the boss.
00:51:37Open the door is the boss.
00:51:40We are rootin' shootin' dice from Idaho.
00:51:45Idaho.
00:51:46Sweepin' all the voices we go.
00:51:51From this point to your hammer, we may have been.
00:51:56You're going to be sorry for this, Willie Hagenbottom.
00:51:59You understood this hooligan you picked up?
00:52:02Well, that's my pal.
00:52:03He's in Texas.
00:52:04He's not a hoodl, a hoodl, a hoodl, a liar, pal.
00:52:08Ma'am, your husband's a hero.
00:52:11Yeah, I'll hero him.
00:52:13Come on, get him out of this.
00:52:15Hey.
00:52:15How's she stand for her, dear friend?
00:52:18Tell her where she gets off.
00:52:20Ah, this is where you get off.
00:52:21Stop the boss.
00:52:23Willie Hagenbottom, what's come over you?
00:52:25Listen, I'm going to be musterin' me own house, see?
00:52:28And I'm not going to stand for any more old buck from you.
00:52:33Or from Rumblin' Roger.
00:52:35Or from the kids.
00:52:37Or from that old lay-bag your mother upstairs.
00:52:40Leave my mother out of this.
00:52:42I won't leave her out of it.
00:52:43I'm fed up with your family.
00:52:45Your father was just as bad.
00:52:47My father?
00:52:48You starting on him now, are you?
00:52:49Aye, your father.
00:52:50What a man he was.
00:52:51All umpty dumpty.
00:52:53Never did a stroke of work in his life.
00:52:56He tried to join the army?
00:52:57I know he did.
00:52:58And what did they tell him?
00:52:59Told him they wanted soldiers for France, not camels for Egypt.
00:53:04Hello, boy.
00:53:05Oh, now, get out of it.
00:53:06Give her the works.
00:53:07Give her the works?
00:53:08I'll give her the old blooming factory.
00:53:10You're in no fit condition to talk tonight.
00:53:12I'll have this out with you in the morning.
00:53:14We'll have nothing out in the morning.
00:53:16We'll have it out here and now.
00:53:18While I'm in the morning.
00:53:21Now then.
00:53:22Now then.
00:53:22Now then.
00:53:23What's going on down here?
00:53:24What's all the row about?
00:53:25What's all the row about?
00:53:26Oh, Roger.
00:53:27This horrible man.
00:53:28He's made our willy drunk.
00:53:30He has?
00:53:30I'll soon settle him.
00:53:31Stand back.
00:53:42Now, now, now, look.
00:53:43Now, look.
00:53:43You don't want me to start getting tough now, do you?
00:53:45Now, look.
00:53:46Yeah, sure.
00:53:46Sit him out, poor brother.
00:53:50Now, kid.
00:53:51What do you think you're doing?
00:53:54Turn it up.
00:53:56Oh, Roger.
00:54:01This is fancy.
00:54:07Eight.
00:54:08Eight.
00:54:09Nine.
00:54:11Out.
00:54:17You'll pay for this.
00:54:19You'll pay for this.
00:54:20You'll pay for this.
00:54:21One wonderful party round at Clarissa's Alison's.
00:54:24I know.
00:54:24You've been drinking with Charlie Farley.
00:54:27You don't look well, son.
00:54:28You'd better get up to your bed.
00:54:29Don't look well, me footy.
00:54:31He's drunk.
00:54:31That's what he is.
00:54:32How dare you say it.
00:54:33Our Norman's never been drunk in his life.
00:54:35Hasn't he?
00:54:36Well, he's starting now.
00:54:37Drunk?
00:54:38Who says I'm drunk?
00:54:40Soberest man of the party.
00:54:42No.
00:54:43Aye.
00:54:44Well, all others was under table.
00:54:47Aye.
00:54:48Well?
00:54:48I was swinging out of the chandelier.
00:54:52There you are.
00:54:57It's just come through Aunt Poiris.
00:55:00What has?
00:55:01They've taken up all tram lines in Manchester.
00:55:05What for?
00:55:06They were in the road.
00:55:10What I'll do to that lap.
00:55:12You'll do nothing with him.
00:55:13I'll deal with you in morning.
00:55:15I'm going to bed.
00:55:16Aye, lass.
00:55:17Let's go to bed.
00:55:30I'm going to bed.
00:55:31I'm snoozing back.ry,
00:55:47moongers. What happens
00:55:51to the girl that wears wool en Italian?
00:55:53some lines.
00:56:08Wrong number.
00:56:29Looks like rain.
00:56:31Aye, but you still charge a shit in a quart for it, though.
00:57:05Hiya.
00:57:07Hiya.
00:57:09Hiya.
00:57:09Hiya.
00:57:10Well, what are you doing here?
00:57:12Listen, sweetie pie, I'll ask the questions.
00:57:15Tell me, what joint is this?
00:57:17Joint?
00:57:18Well, you know, address.
00:57:20Oh, 13 Meriwether Street.
00:57:2413 Meriwether Street.
00:57:25Well, that seems to ring a bell.
00:57:27Oh, my head.
00:57:30What's the matter? Are you ill?
00:57:32No, I think something must have hit me.
00:57:36Something has hit me.
00:57:43What do you think you're playing at?
00:57:46Mum, look, it's him.
00:57:50Nothing would surprise me.
00:57:52Go and get dressed.
00:57:53But how did he get in here?
00:57:54Go and get dressed.
00:57:55What's he doing there?
00:57:56Go and get dressed.
00:58:04Well?
00:58:06No.
00:58:07Ah, so you've come too, have you?
00:58:10Aye, aye.
00:58:11Feeling a bit sorry for yourself, no doubt.
00:58:14Aye, aye, aye.
00:58:14I thought you might be.
00:58:17I don't know what I'm going to do with you, Willie Higginbottom.
00:58:20You make me fair sick.
00:58:22You don't seem to care at all.
00:58:25You dance on me grave, that's what you do.
00:58:27Aye, love, you know I can't dance.
00:58:29Don't try and be funny.
00:58:31How did he get in here?
00:58:32I don't know.
00:58:34He's been out shooting guys or something.
00:58:37Well, he can shoot himself right out of here.
00:58:39I'm quick.
00:58:41Put that glove on the table.
00:58:48Maggie Ann.
00:58:49Well, what is it now?
00:58:52I'm very sorry about last night.
00:58:55Oh, you're sorry, are you?
00:58:56I suppose I'm very glad.
00:58:58It's more like a bloody groundshell.
00:59:00Language.
00:59:01Oh, don't be nasty, love.
00:59:03I didn't mean to upset you, really, I didn't.
00:59:06No.
00:59:06I just wanted to tell you how it happened.
00:59:09It all come about through me being a bit hurt.
00:59:12Oh, you were a bit hurt, were you?
00:59:14Aye, well, it was only natural.
00:59:16I come back home here after all that time abroad
00:59:20and you don't seem to bother with me.
00:59:22You know, don't care whether I've come back or not.
00:59:25And then on top of it all, on me first night home,
00:59:28you go off to the pictures with Roger the lodging.
00:59:31Well, it proper upset me.
00:59:34And another thing, Maggie Ann, always ordering of me about.
00:59:38I don't like it.
00:59:39No.
00:59:41I know you always used to do it in the old days
00:59:43and I didn't seem to mind it so much then,
00:59:46but when a chap's been in the army and knocked about the world,
00:59:50I bet he gets a bit independent, like,
00:59:53and it doesn't come very acceptable.
00:59:55Oh, doesn't it?
00:59:56I'm not saying this to start any more bother, love.
00:59:59We had enough of that last night, didn't we?
01:00:02Eh?
01:00:03Eh, we had enough bother last night, didn't we?
01:00:06Eh?
01:00:06Eh?
01:00:07Eh?
01:00:09Eh?
01:00:09I'm just telling you how I feel.
01:00:12I think you've a right to know.
01:00:14Oh, that's very kind of you, I'm sure.
01:00:17You see, I...
01:00:18I love you, Maggie Ann.
01:00:21Ah, I love you very much.
01:00:24Oh, I suppose you do.
01:00:26But when you start saying,
01:00:27put that cloth on and go and do the washing up,
01:00:31well, it goes against the grain
01:00:33and I get a bit obstinate, like.
01:00:37Well, I suppose I have been a bit hard on you,
01:00:39but have you ever stopped to consider my point of view?
01:00:42Have you got one?
01:00:44I have that.
01:00:46When war started,
01:00:48we'd been married nearly 15 years.
01:00:51When we got wed,
01:00:52I was looking forward to us getting on.
01:00:55I thought maybe we'd save a bit of money and buy a car,
01:00:58or perhaps move into a bigger house with a nice garden.
01:01:02But what happened?
01:01:03We never moved an inch.
01:01:05When the war broke out,
01:01:06you were still earning insane money.
01:01:09Why, even the furniture,
01:01:10the bulk of it was left me by my Aunt Fanny.
01:01:13What have you provided?
01:01:16Well, there's...
01:01:17There's that china dog on bedroom mantelpiece,
01:01:22and picture of love locked out in the...
01:01:24You won those at Hoopla,
01:01:26in the fairground at Blackpool.
01:01:28Oh, no.
01:01:29It's the same in civilian life as in the army.
01:01:33Do you get on?
01:01:34No.
01:01:34You're still a private.
01:01:36Nay, love, I would have got promotion, only...
01:01:39Well...
01:01:40Officer was a bit jealous of me.
01:01:42It's no good making excuses, Willie lad.
01:01:46Roger doesn't make excuses.
01:01:48I was wondering when he was going to get dragged into it.
01:01:53Look, you...
01:01:55You didn't fall in love with him, did you, Maggie Ann?
01:01:59Well, what a like about him.
01:02:00He's a go-getter.
01:02:02He'll get somewhere.
01:02:03Aye, he'll get somewhere.
01:02:05My guess is Dartmoor.
01:02:07He's a better man than you, Willie.
01:02:08All right.
01:02:09If you want Roger the lodget...
01:02:11Aye, don't. I never say...
01:02:12Don't interrupt.
01:02:14Understand one thing, once and for all.
01:02:17As long as I'm here, I'm going to be master, see?
01:02:20Morning, old.
01:02:22Oh, hello, Roger.
01:02:23You're in time for breakfast.
01:02:24Do you fancy fried fish?
01:02:26He looks like boiled cod.
01:02:28I'm afraid I'm too busy.
01:02:29I've got to get to work.
01:02:30I have a lot of business here to me this morning.
01:02:32Key man, that's me.
01:02:33Oh, a key man, aye?
01:02:35Well, go and pick a few locks.
01:02:36You think you're very clever, don't you?
01:02:38At least he is going to work, which is more than you ever do.
01:02:41Well, I can work too, can't I?
01:02:42Can you?
01:02:43I wouldn't know.
01:02:44You haven't for six years.
01:02:45Well, you've had my army allowed, haven't you?
01:02:47Oh, you don't suppose that was going to keep all of us, do you?
01:02:49Oh, I'm fed up with the whole thing.
01:02:51Aye, so am I.
01:02:52I'm clearing out.
01:02:53You're doing what?
01:02:54I'm clearing out.
01:02:55That's what I'm doing.
01:02:56I've come back home here after six years, and what do I find?
01:03:00I don't matter to any of you.
01:03:02I'm just in everybody's way.
01:03:04Well, I'm not going to be in anybody's way any longer.
01:03:07I'm going.
01:03:08What's all the noise about?
01:03:10It's all right, Ma.
01:03:11I'm popping off.
01:03:13What's dropping off?
01:03:23Hey, I do feel awful.
01:03:26You look terrible.
01:03:28Come here, lad.
01:03:30What?
01:03:31My shirts haven't come back from the laundry this week.
01:03:35Why not?
01:03:36Because I didn't send any.
01:03:50Well, I'll be a prairie oyster, if it isn't my little gal from the valley.
01:03:55Moment the boy I was telling you about last night.
01:03:57You know, it's my hero.
01:03:59You're welcome.
01:04:04It is you.
01:04:06Yes.
01:04:07Gee, baby.
01:04:13Boy, what a break for me, you being here.
01:04:16What made you come here?
01:04:18I'm looking for some guy called Higgin something.
01:04:20Higgin bottom?
01:04:21Yeah, yeah.
01:04:22Higgin something.
01:04:23Only I forgot the bottom part.
01:04:27Hey, your dad's name's Higgin bottom.
01:04:29That's right.
01:04:31Holy mackerel.
01:04:32We got to get him back.
01:04:33I remember now I got an important letter for him.
01:04:36Oh, well, he can leave it here and go.
01:04:38If I know Willie Higgin bottom, he'll soon be back.
01:04:40Did you ever hear Willie talk about his Uncle Elias?
01:04:43Why, he was one of the richest men of Texas.
01:04:45I know.
01:04:45I worked for him.
01:04:46What's that got to do with our Willie?
01:04:48Well, you see, Uncle Elias, he died.
01:04:50And he's left Willie his ranch.
01:04:51What's that?
01:04:52A ranch?
01:04:53What's it worth?
01:04:55About 40,000 pounds English, I guess.
01:04:5740,000 pounds?
01:04:59And he's run away.
01:05:01But where do you come in?
01:05:02Well, I was like this.
01:05:04You see, before I joined the army, I worked in this old guy's ranch.
01:05:08Well, when after it was drafted, I went down there to say goodbye to him.
01:05:12And I found him on his deathbed.
01:05:14He sent to me texts, he said,
01:05:15When you get to the old country, I want you to go and I want you to look up my
01:05:19nephew, Willie Higgin bottom.
01:05:20Tell him there's only relative I've got left in the world I give a damn about.
01:05:23And when I'm gone, he's getting everything I got.
01:05:27Well, just before I sailed, he died.
01:05:28And the attorneys asked me to come along and give Willie this letter.
01:05:31Then Dad gets all that money.
01:05:34Oh, that's wonderful.
01:05:35Well, I ain't so sure about that, baby.
01:05:37How do you mean?
01:05:38Well, it ain't so easy for a guy to ask a rich man's daughter to marry him.
01:05:42You mean, you're asking me to marry you?
01:05:45That's the rough idea.
01:05:48Well, we're not certain yet whether Dad is rich.
01:05:51Rich or poor, baby, I don't care.
01:05:54Oh, Tex, never mind that. What's in the letter?
01:06:04Dear Mr. Higgin bottom, we regret to have to inform you of the death of your uncle Elias Higgin bottom
01:06:10of the Bar H Ranch, Tufu Creek, Texas.
01:06:13In accordance with the deceased will, you are the sole legatee.
01:06:19Oh, that means we get the money.
01:06:20Oh.
01:06:21Will you kindly take the opportunity of communicating with us and putting us in touch with your solicitors?
01:06:28We've got no solicitors.
01:06:30So that the legal formalities of establishing your claim may be dealt with.
01:06:35Yours faithfully, steer, steer, effort and steer.
01:06:39Which one signed it?
01:06:41Bullock.
01:06:42Then this means we're really rich.
01:06:45Not yet should, baby.
01:06:47What do you mean?
01:06:47Not till you find Willie.
01:06:49Oh, we've got to find him.
01:06:51You help us, Tex.
01:06:53Not till you promise to marry me.
01:06:55Find Dad and I will.
01:06:56Atta girl.
01:06:57We're on the trail.
01:06:58Willie Higgin bottom, here I come.
01:07:27You are on the trail.
01:07:30I'm on the trail.
01:07:32We're gonna walk by.
01:07:32I'm on the trail.
01:07:38You don't go.
01:07:41Well?
01:07:42Private William Iggybottom live here.
01:07:44He did?
01:07:46Don't tell him he's wanted for the police.
01:07:48He certainly is.
01:07:49Well, I want him more than the police, if you can ever find him.
01:07:52Don't worry, missus.
01:07:54We'll find him.
01:07:58I bet he was after you, Willie.
01:08:02I wonder what could have happened to him, mother.
01:08:04Hey, I don't know.
01:08:06I'm hoping for the worst.
01:08:07I'm worrying what's happened to our Eunice.
01:08:10Oh, she's all right.
01:08:12She's out with Tex looking for Willie.
01:08:14She's all right.
01:08:15She's safe enough.
01:08:16Safe?
01:08:17With an American soldier?
01:08:19Huh.
01:08:20I wouldn't feel safe myself.
01:08:23Oh, we shouldn't be doing this, Tex.
01:08:25We didn't come here for this.
01:08:26Speak for yourself, baby.
01:08:28Well, don't you think we'd better start looking for Dad?
01:08:30Well, you never know.
01:08:31He might pass this way any minute.
01:08:34Oh, Tex, no more, please.
01:08:38What is this feeling around my heart?
01:08:41Like champagne starting to fill.
01:08:45Can it be love?
01:08:46It can.
01:08:47I think it is.
01:08:50And what are these strange vibrations?
01:08:53Like the G-string on a guitar.
01:08:57Can they be thrills?
01:08:58They can.
01:08:59My gosh, they are.
01:09:01Now I mustn't forget that this kind of song must always contain that love about unfamiliar reactions in the navel
01:09:13of the spine.
01:09:14And why do I sigh and think of you, and think of you, and then sigh?
01:09:22Can it be love?
01:09:23What do you think?
01:09:25I think it can.
01:09:26So do I.
01:09:31Maybe?
01:09:32I think we'd better find your dad.
01:09:48Sit down, Joe.
01:09:51Waiter.
01:09:55Didn't you hear me calling your waiter?
01:09:58Good-bye, sir.
01:09:59Good-bye, sir.
01:10:00Three large Scotches.
01:10:02Oui, oui.
01:10:04Terrible service, you know.
01:10:05The country is full of damn foreigners.
01:10:06That'll make the driver sleep for a fortnight.
01:10:09You're telling me.
01:10:10Now, this is the drill, Joe.
01:10:12The lorry leaves the tobacco factory at three, loaded to the roof with cigarettes and tobacco,
01:10:16and gets to your place about 4.30.
01:10:18Now, the driver comes in for a cup of char, and we're waiting to give him a mickey fin out
01:10:21of this flask.
01:10:22As soon as he's out, we drive off to the lorry, unload it out of his garage, ditch the lorry,
01:10:25and bob's your arm.
01:10:26Waiter!
01:10:27Soda!
01:10:28Garçon!
01:10:31Soda!
01:10:31Garçon!
01:10:32What the hell?
01:10:33What the hell?
01:10:34What the hell?
01:10:41What the hell?
01:10:43If we catch that plastic flour, I'll boil him in those spaghetti.
01:10:47Ah, spaghetti.
01:10:48Let's get cracking to my place, and we'll do the lorry drive.
01:11:21Eh!
01:11:22Stop这!
01:11:25No!
01:11:26No!
01:11:29No that's not!
01:11:29No!
01:11:30No!
01:11:30No!
01:11:30No!
01:11:31No!
01:11:31No!
01:11:31You've run me, go!
01:11:37We understand there's a William Inginbottom working here.
01:11:50Well, I'm going to the foot of my house stage.
01:11:54Of all the horrible and sociable and disobliging.
01:12:07We got news for you.
01:12:09Daddy, we're rich. Tell him, text.
01:12:11Yeah, you see, friend, it's like this.
01:12:13Never mind about that now. Do you know Joe's coffee?
01:12:16Yeah.
01:12:16Well, get wavy.
01:12:18Who are we after?
01:12:19Roger the luncheon, or I'm lying to death.
01:12:31You going far?
01:12:34Far enough with that load outside.
01:12:36Oh, you could do with another livener then.
01:12:40Thank you, mate. This is good stuff.
01:12:41Oh, I'll smash it.
01:12:43What are you carrying?
01:12:48Back here, and cigarettes?
01:12:50Millions of them.
01:12:53Makes your sense, doesn't it?
01:12:56It certainly does.
01:12:58Good boy.
01:13:04I have a scar.
01:13:05Aye, aye.
01:13:05It's gone.
01:13:13Think you want any help, pal?
01:13:15No. This is a private night.
01:13:18OK.
01:13:20Hey, is that your lorry outside?
01:13:23Well, you've been got at!
01:13:34Blimey!
01:13:43Hey! Stop these! Stop these!
01:13:53Shhh!
01:13:55I shall be a minute. Where are you going?
01:13:57Round to my lodges to pick up a bag.
01:13:59Give him my love.
01:14:01I'll see you round the daddy's garage. So long.
01:14:05You're wanting your supper or you're going to be unlucky,
01:14:07because it's not ready.
01:14:09I don't want this supper. I'm packing up.
01:14:11Blacking up? What for? Is he joining minstrels, George?
01:14:14Where are you going?
01:14:16As far as I can get away from this dump.
01:14:18Packing up, is he? I don't want him pinching me knickknacks.
01:14:23If you're bluffing, you're for it.
01:14:26Oh, Willie, you've come home.
01:14:28You've come back to me.
01:14:30What have you done?
01:14:31Police are after you.
01:14:32Shhh!
01:14:33So you're private, William Egan Bottom.
01:14:35What of it?
01:14:36Is this your case?
01:14:37I think so.
01:14:38You're not a doctor, are you?
01:14:40Eee, I must have left mine in train.
01:14:43There are 20 files of phenol barbitone in here.
01:14:46Whatever's that?
01:14:46A dangerous drug, madam.
01:14:49Oh, Dad, you are careless. We might all have been blown up.
01:14:52I thought I'd recognize that face, just a minute.
01:14:58Oh, it is good.
01:15:11What's that? Half time?
01:15:18Well, if it isn't Slippery Jake, alias Silky Sam, alias Johnny the Bluffer.
01:15:24Alias Roger the Lodger. All right, I'll go quietly.
01:15:30I'll give you a bit of private information, Mrs. Higginbottom.
01:15:33Your husband's been demobbed, discharged from the army with a first-rate character.
01:15:39Lovely.
01:15:40Good luck to you, Higginbottom.
01:15:41Hey, thanks for all your trouble. Take good care of Roger.
01:15:46Don't put him in a dark cell. He's got cold face.
01:15:49His wife and kids will be glad to hear he's torn up.
01:15:51Wife and kids.
01:15:52Hey, give my love to Mrs. Higginbottom and all the little alibis.
01:15:56Ah, shut up, you elongated toe rag.
01:16:09What's upset you, lass?
01:16:10Yes.
01:16:11So he was married.
01:16:12Well, that shouldn't make you miserable.
01:16:16I'm not miserable.
01:16:18You're crying.
01:16:20I'm not crying.
01:16:22It's only been done.
01:16:25I'm so happy.
01:16:27Well, if you get much happier, you'll die of grief.
01:16:30I'm so ashamed the way I behaved about Roger.
01:16:34Oh, you have nothing to be ashamed of, love. No.
01:16:39Course you haven't.
01:16:42Or have you?
01:16:44Well, Higginbottom, what are you insinuating?
01:16:48Nothing, love, nothing.
01:16:49What I mean is I don't really blame Roger.
01:16:53Why, I could fall for you myself if your husband wasn't about.
01:16:57Do you mean it?
01:16:59Course I mean it.
01:17:01And I wouldn't take no for an answer.
01:17:03What with your husband thousands of miles overseas.
01:17:06I'd be a moat to miss a chance like that.
01:17:09But my husband isn't thousands of miles overseas.
01:17:12My husband's come back.
01:17:14Oh, has he?
01:17:16That makes things a bit awkward, doesn't it?
01:17:19Awkward?
01:17:20Why?
01:17:21Huh?
01:17:23Oh, I see what you mean.
01:17:27Of course, I was forgetting.
01:17:30I am your husband, aren't I?
01:17:34Oh, Willie.
01:17:34You'll have to tie me round your little finger.
01:17:38And I will.
01:17:40Now here we are in Texas on the ridge.
01:17:45For folks from Lancashire, it's very strange.
01:17:48Try for onions, we're forsaken.
01:17:51We'll be eating beans and bacon.
01:17:53Way out here in Texas on the ridge.
01:17:56Here we are in Texas on the ridge.
01:18:00For folks from Lancashire, it's very strange.
01:18:03Try for onions, we're forsaken.
01:18:05We'll be eating beans and bacon.
01:18:07Way out here in Texas on the ridge.
01:18:11Yay!
01:18:21My wife's lodger each morning.
01:18:25And my wife's lodger every night.
01:18:29I'm always the scapegoat when anything goes wrong.
01:18:34But everything that Roger does is right.
01:18:36Now I've no time for Roger the Lodger.
01:18:41I trust him just as far as I could reach.
01:18:45He's a dodger, a modger, a crappy kind of codger.
01:18:49That's Roger the Lodger, the leech.
01:18:53That's Roger the Lodger.
01:18:55That's Roger the Lodger.
01:18:57That's Roger the Lodger.
01:19:00That's Roger the Lodger.
01:19:01That's Roger the Lodger.
01:19:01That's Roger the Lodger.
01:19:01That's Roger the Lodger.
01:19:01That's Roger the Lodger.
01:19:03That's Roger the Lodger.