Philosopher Stefan Molyneux answers a listener who asks if he is a hypocrite for treating later contact as evidence against an abuse claim in one case but not in family abuse. He says kids cannot choose or leave their parents and face heavy pressure to stay bonded, while adults can walk away, and he looks at the visit, delayed report and later messages in this case while welcoming the challenge to his consistency.
Question:
Hi Stef,
In the recent Clavicular charges episode you mentioned that you generally find it hard to give accusers much credibility when they stay in positive and affectionate contact with the person they claim assaulted them, and that this contact is evidence against the horror of the situation. I was surprised by this, though you did say residual contact is not absolute proof nothing happened.
To be clear, I'm not claiming Clavicular is guilty or that the accuser is telling the truth, this could well be a false or exaggerated claim.
I'm currently reading "Talking to Strangers" by Malcolm Gladwell. Spoiler if you've not read it: The former Penn State assistant coach Sandusky case in particular was a shocking anecdote in the book that highlighted that positive residual contact with perpetrators is not uncommon. Many of his victims kept positive contact for years and even brought partners and their children to visit him and the Weinstein case had a similar pattern.
I think reasons for this include minimization, denial, normalizing the event, trying to regain a sense of control, practical dependence, power imbalance, and positive...
0:00:00 Dueling and Doubt
0:01:17 Residual Contact Question
0:03:39 Hypocrisy or Context
0:07:33 Drunken Consent Debate
0:10:11 Voluntary Versus Trapped
0:15:34 Why Children Bond
0:17:34 Parents, Propaganda, Pressure
0:22:06 Going No Contact
0:25:14 Leaving Abusive Dates
0:28:31 Conformity and Social Cost
0:35:43 Different Abuse Standards
0:39:08 Trauma and Reconnection
0:40:27 Ongoing Family Ties
0:41:41 The Six-Month Problem
0:44:17 The Lawn Mower Analogy
0:46:59 Why Child Cases Differ
0:48:42 Gladwell and Goodbye
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