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00:13It set the whole world on fire.
00:17Oh, hell yeah!
00:21Yes!
00:22Yes!
00:36Kia ora koutou and welcome to Taskmaster.
00:40Every year I dream up a bunch of pointless tasks for desperate people to attempt.
00:46And then I just watch them like a pervert.
00:48It's an admin-heavy kink, but Daddy has a specific thirst,
00:54which can only be quenched by being the Taskmaster.
01:01Ticking my boxes tonight are Comedians Dave Wharei,
01:06Claudia Hortini,
01:10Morgana O'Reilly,
01:13Lees Mathewson,
01:14and Rose Matafeo.
01:18And to my left, wagging the tail of this dog,
01:21it's my handy assistant, Paul Williams!
01:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:28Can we have the prize task now, please?
01:30Absolutely, Jeremy.
01:31So, as always, we've asked our contestants to bring in a prize.
01:34The winner of the prize task will receive five points.
01:36The winner of tonight's episode will take home all five prizes.
01:40Tonight, we've asked our contestants to bring in the best spiky thing.
01:45Ooh!
01:46Yes.
01:47OK, Rose.
01:48What spiky thing did you bring in?
01:50Look, Jeremy.
01:52We're not young anymore, OK?
01:55And so I think, for me, the best thing on this earth is a spiky massage ball.
02:01Now, the haters are going to say that I went past Kmart Henderson.
02:09And picked the first thing I saw that was spiky.
02:11And to them I say, prove it, bitch.
02:14It kind of looks like COVID.
02:16Hey!
02:18Hey, Paul!
02:20So rude!
02:22Morgana, what have you been?
02:23It's savoury and sweet.
02:25It's a cheese and pineapple hedgehog.
02:28Everybody gets a piece!
02:30What's underneath the tin foil?
02:33Pineapple is a classic.
02:35This is an actual hedgehog.
02:40But I've covered it with tin foil for hygiene.
02:45Dave, what did you bring in?
02:47When I finished my masters in spikeology,
02:51I was drawn to a certain book by the one great, Spike Milligan.
03:00I really think you should rethink the term spikeologist,
03:02because it sounds like you spike people's drinks.
03:04That is really terrifying.
03:07That was my other idea.
03:10But I thought for the safety of all those involved,
03:14you know, good old Spike Milligan.
03:15And page 38 is the one to go for.
03:19What's on page 38?
03:20Ah, let me win and I'll show you.
03:24Rhys, what did you bring in?
03:26It's four words.
03:27It's spiky, but it's also the height of luxury.
03:30It's a pyramid of Ferrero Rocher's.
03:32Ooh!
03:35So the spike is the top of the pyramid?
03:37No, no, no.
03:38The spike is the Rocher.
03:39If you were to peel back the foil, it's spiky.
03:43Would you say spiky or would you say knobbly and craggy?
03:46I think spiky.
03:47If you gave one to a blind person, they wouldn't be like,
03:50ooh, how smooth.
03:55Clarny, what did you bring in?
03:57Do you know the Shakti mat?
04:00Ah, the spiky mat that you lie on.
04:02Oh, spiky to you.
04:03To me, boring, okay?
04:06I fall asleep on a Shakti mat.
04:08If I got a newborn baby, that's where I put the baby, okay?
04:13I need something a little more extreme,
04:15so I've created a more extreme Shakti mat.
04:18Oh!
04:19Ouchie!
04:21If you zoom in, this is...
04:25Why is Dave's hair stuck to me?
04:29That's hot glue gun, actually.
04:31Alright, is it time to score these ones?
04:34Yes, please.
04:34I'm going to start by saying one point for Rhys Mathewson.
04:38Because I do love Ferrera Shays, but for me,
04:40they're a little more knobbly and craggy.
04:42I'm going to go two points for Hawane,
04:45because he's combined two of the things I hate the most,
04:47which is thumbtacks and camping.
04:49I'm going to go three points for Dave in his Spike Milligan book.
04:53I'm a huge fan of Bad Jelly the Witch.
04:55I'm going to go four points for Rose,
04:58because I've got terrible plantar fasciitis
05:00and I could do with one of those things.
05:01Well, get that in your face.
05:02And then I'm going to go five points for Morgana,
05:04because I love the cheese hedgehog.
05:06Okay.
05:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
05:09All right, Paul.
05:11Hit us with the cruise cars.
05:13Meet now at Paul.
05:14Here is the next time of Gaio.
05:16Go for Nielsen.
05:27Hello, Morgana.
05:30Hello, Rose.
05:32Your sources again?
05:37Oh.
05:39Write and shoot a Scandinavian noir film.
05:43Your film must be in a Scandinavian language
05:46and heavily feature this...
05:48This...
05:50Scrakebrit.
05:52This...
05:53Strikbrit.
05:55The script for your film must have exactly 42 words of dialogue.
06:00And at least three characters.
06:03Most Scandinavian film wins.
06:06You have 45 minutes?
06:08Turnstush now.
06:09Yeah, cool.
06:10Super cool.
06:14Dub over this Scandinavian film in English.
06:17Dub over this Scandinavian film in English.
06:21You must play every character in the film.
06:24You must each play at least one character from the film.
06:26You may not use a dictionary...
06:28Or anything dictionary adjacent.
06:31You may not leave the study.
06:33Best redubbing wins.
06:34You have 15 minutes.
06:35Your time starts now.
06:38Whoa.
06:39Which of the three languages would you like?
06:42I'm Norwegian.
06:43Okay.
06:44Kunst.
06:45Kannst.
06:46Kannst.
06:46Kannst.
06:47What are you calling me?
06:49Kannst.
06:50It means art.
06:52Not where I'm from.
06:56Let's just go Norway.
06:58Okay.
06:58So, I think the film is going to go.
07:00You're incredibly abusive.
07:02Yeah, let's just stick to the task.
07:04Okay.
07:05February.
07:06The sky was dark.
07:07As dark as my mood.
07:09February.
07:10Himlen war murk.
07:12You're dead.
07:13You're dead.
07:13You're dead.
07:14You're dead.
07:16You're dead.
07:17Maybe it's a lone policewoman like in The Killing.
07:26Where are you?
07:27You bastard.
07:29You're dead.
07:30You're dead.
07:30You're sick.
07:31It needs a femme fatale, right?
07:33Please.
07:33I need help.
07:34No.
07:34Get out.
07:35You look like my dead wife.
07:36Rush us here.
07:38You drink a yelp.
07:39No.
07:40Come there, dude.
07:42You say it.
07:43You're the corner.
07:44And then I say, look over there.
07:46Say that.
07:50Maybe I push her down the stairs.
07:55The apple shines brightly in the mind of a child.
08:02Help, help.
08:03Where are you?
08:05Help.
08:06What are you?
08:07Oh, you're just keeping her down there during your laundry.
08:10I have to iron.
08:11He makes me iron.
08:16Maybe I'm like, that's noir.
08:18You just say that's noir at the end.
08:21Yeah.
08:22They are noir.
08:30That's brilliant.
08:32I love it.
08:34That was incredible.
08:35That was really good.
08:36Do you want to be Morgana or Paul for the first scene?
08:39I can be Morgana.
08:43And go.
08:47What a great task.
08:50Okay.
08:51Two great actors.
08:53I'm looking forward to seeing these.
08:54Interesting that you guys chose Norwegian.
08:57It seemed like the most Scandinavian.
09:00I thought it was the easiest.
09:02Or that.
09:02Yeah.
09:03Have you guys done any ADR work before?
09:06Any additional dialogue recording?
09:08Never.
09:08Never done it before?
09:09Never.
09:09You were in Moana too?
09:11Yes, I have.
09:18Yes, I have.
09:19We were in Moana too.
09:22Okay.
09:22Time for a break now.
09:24And time to let our friends in Scandinavia know that we respect your culture.
09:28We're just trying to make some good cunts.
09:30We'll see you soon.
09:45Welcome back to Taskmaster.
09:47Where our comedians are trying to out Scandinavian each other.
09:51Like an IKEA bookcase stacked with salt licorice fighting a sauna full of pickled herring.
09:56That's right Jeremy.
09:58Our contestants must dub over their teammates Scandinavian language films.
10:03Up first, recreating the words for Morgana's Scandi film noir, It's Hwani and Rhys.
10:19This is where she is.
10:25Hello.
10:26Hi.
10:27Who are you?
10:28Who?
10:29I'm looking for my mother.
10:31Yeah.
10:34Oh, there she is.
10:39My guy, my guy.
10:40My guy, my guy.
10:40Be quiet.
10:41Shhh.
10:41Shhh.
10:42Shhh.
10:45Shhh.
10:46Mom.
10:48Help.
10:49Mom.
10:50Help.
10:51Mom.
10:52Where are you?
10:53Here.
10:55I'm filled with grief.
10:56You've...
10:58You've come for me, my daughter.
11:03Mama, I've missed you.
11:08You don't look so good.
11:16Oh no.
11:18That's not good.
11:24Look who just got themselves into Moana 3.
11:27Yeah.
11:28Yep.
11:30Interesting, Hwani.
11:31Was there an accent there?
11:33I was sort of trying to work out what accent was going on.
11:37Pretty sure it was a New Zealand accent.
11:39With one word.
11:41Hello.
11:44Run me through the plot.
11:46So you're looking for your mum.
11:47Yeah.
11:47Then you injected Paul with some kind of drug.
11:51Yeah.
11:52To knock him out.
11:53And then you found your mum ironing and she died.
11:56Yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:57He was holding her there, you know.
11:59He makes me iron.
12:00You remember from the behind the scenes?
12:01That's inspired by Shakespeare.
12:03You know, yeah.
12:04Yeah.
12:05Hmm.
12:05Right.
12:05I'm keen to see another one of these, Paul.
12:07Up next is The Team of Two with a film from Rose and dubbing from Dave.
12:12Okay.
12:13Right.
12:13February in the heart of Munich.
12:17Munich land where the munchkins are made.
12:21You come in like a blister.
12:25What's going on here with the blisters and all?
12:29Your salami's out.
12:31Your milk top looks terrible.
12:35Ugh.
12:39Ugh.
12:44Ugh.
12:45What the?
12:46Ugh.
12:48The trolley bus doesn't come here anymore.
12:53Oh, no.
12:56Oh, no.
12:57Oh, no.
12:57It's heartbreaking.
12:58It's really broken.
12:58It's really broken.
13:00Ugh.
13:01It's really broken.
13:02It's broken.
13:03It's broken town.
13:03I'm breaking it down.
13:04It's so bad.
13:08Do you think, Rose, that Dave's dubbing was in keeping with your theme?
13:15Well, I mean, it was basically a direct translation.
13:18Yeah.
13:19Yeah, your salami's out.
13:20Is that one of the lines?
13:21Yeah.
13:21The quote was, you come in like a blister.
13:24Your salami's out.
13:25Your milk top looks terrible.
13:29You see the offence that she took to that?
13:32How hurt she was?
13:34That's one of the harshest things you can say to a Norwegian.
13:38How would you like to score it?
13:40Oh, they were both great.
13:41I thought, to be honest, this is quite difficult to judge.
13:45Four points for the team of three.
13:47Okay.
13:47And I'll go five points for the team of two.
13:50Okay.
13:56Where does that leave us with the scores, Paul?
13:59Out in first, equal.
14:00It's Morgana and Rose on nine points each.
14:08Now that we are officially past the halfway point, I would love an update on the series scoreboard
14:14if you could, Paul.
14:15Absolutely.
14:16Out in first with 91 points, Morgana.
14:20It's close.
14:25Time to move on, Paul.
14:26What's next?
14:27This task has no signs of something being wrong with it.
14:46Hmmmm.
14:50Ha ha ha!
14:52Ha ha ha!
14:53Ha ha ha!
14:54Hell yeah!
14:55Hi Paul!
14:56Hello Dave.
14:57Wow.
14:59Paul, that's comically large.
15:01There was a mix-up at the printing place.
15:04Paul, that task makes you look so skinny.
15:08You look like Mike TV.
15:10Oh.
15:15Hey, Paul, can you pretend to walk down some stairs behind the task?
15:23Really good, man.
15:25Oh, no.
15:33Okay.
15:34Wave the correct red flag.
15:36Fastest wins.
15:37Your time starts now.
15:40This is one of those riddle ones.
15:42My brain does not work like that.
15:45Wave the correct red flag.
15:45There's a red flag.
15:50Who is going to be the first to run this crimson signal up the flagpole?
15:55Up first, it's Juani, Morgana and Rose.
15:58Why are you here?
16:00What is that?
16:00Toast?
16:04Do I just go down there and wave that flag?
16:09God damn it.
16:10They're there.
16:12There's one there.
16:13There's one.
16:14Is that correct?
16:15It's not correct.
16:18I've not stopped the clock.
16:19Okay.
16:20That's not it.
16:22I've not stopped the clock.
16:23Shit.
16:24That one's all the way across the river.
16:27You're going to ignore that one?
16:28Well, I thought I might go try the other one first.
16:31Okay.
16:35There was that bread.
16:36That's weird.
16:38This show makes me feel like a conspiracy theorist.
16:40Right.
16:41Bread flag, man.
16:42Bread flag.
16:43I've not stopped the clock.
16:44I've not stopped the clock.
16:45Two flags.
16:46I've not stopped the clock.
16:49I've not stopped the clock.
16:51Ugh.
16:53Red flag?
16:59Nah.
17:01Red flag.
17:04Well, I'm going to have to go to that one, aren't I?
17:06Okay.
17:06I'll come in case one of the sheep chases you.
17:09Just be alert of sheep.
17:11I can't stress that enough.
17:13They've seen us.
17:14They're coming.
17:15Go, Rose, go.
17:16Stop!
17:17Stop!
17:18Stop!
17:19Keep going.
17:22I've not stopped the clock.
17:23I've not stopped the clock.
17:26I've not stopped the clock.
17:34I've not stopped the clock.
17:35Okay.
17:37That's not the correct flag.
17:38I hope that sheep kills you.
17:40Go that way.
17:41Why?
17:42Because the sheep, they're running after you.
17:44Oh, my God.
17:47I think they like the color red.
17:49They're like bulls.
17:50Go, Rose.
17:55You okay?
17:56I was fighting for my life, and you put me in that position.
18:00Sorry.
18:01What are you looking for?
18:02I don't know.
18:02I thought this might be a clue.
18:04Maybe that means there's something...
18:06Oh, that's close to breaking.
18:10That's not the correct flag, sir.
18:14Red flag.
18:16Red flag.
18:17Red flag.
18:18Bread.
18:19What does the bread mean?
18:20Bread like ducks?
18:21I'm going to try and wave the bread flag.
18:24It wasn't the bread flag, was it?
18:26All the information you need is on the task.
18:27Why was there a bread stick up there, man?
18:30Wave the...
18:34Wave the correct bread flag.
18:44I've stopped the clock.
18:45I've stopped the clock.
18:46I've stopped the clock.
18:49Pretty fun.
18:51Bread flag is the bread flag.
18:53It's the whole time bread flag.
18:54Did you see what happened to me down there?
18:56You got chased by a pack of sheep.
18:58Don't...
18:59Don't you dare laugh.
19:00The camera crew, don't you dare laugh.
19:02I've heard that.
19:12One of my favourite things
19:14is to watch Taskmaster contestants
19:16running around in the Taskmaster hinterlands
19:19out of breath, pointlessly.
19:21Yeah.
19:21My new favourite thing
19:23is watching Taskmaster contestants
19:25running in the hinterlands
19:26being chased by livestock.
19:29Welcome back to New Zealand, babe!
19:32It was genuinely
19:33one of the most terrifying
19:36experiences of my...
19:37Like, I thought Paul was joking
19:38when he went,
19:39run!
19:39And they turned
19:40and there were sheep
19:41humming for me.
19:43They've cut out
19:44Paul laughing a lot
19:46because
19:47he really tickled him.
19:50Morgana, your spidey senses
19:52told you that something
19:53was up with the bread
19:54and then he went,
19:55no, I'm just going to keep going,
19:56keep chasing these flags around.
19:58I know!
19:58Even once I sort of went,
20:00I'll try the bread flag
20:01because there's no other choice.
20:02I was still like,
20:03I don't get it.
20:06Hawani, you picked it up
20:07and you had it.
20:08Yeah.
20:08You just needed to jiggle it.
20:10Even watching it,
20:11I was like,
20:11it looks like he's jiggling it
20:13a little bit.
20:13Yeah, could we all three argue?
20:15We kind of wiggled it.
20:16Yeah, they all three picked it up
20:17but by my definition,
20:19wave was a clear
20:20back and forth motion.
20:22That's crazy though
20:23because by my definition,
20:24a wave is just a slight jiggle.
20:27Please tell me
20:28that they weren't
20:28flapping around too long
20:30in the Taskmaster hinterlands.
20:31So,
20:32Morgana,
20:3315 minutes and 40 seconds.
20:35Hawani,
20:3610 minutes 42.
20:37Rose,
20:3830 minutes and 2 seconds.
20:41All right,
20:42might be time for us
20:43to wave a white flag
20:44as we cowardly retreat
20:46for a break.
20:46We'll see you soon.
21:00Welcome back to Taskmaster
21:02where our five comedians
21:04are struggling to read
21:05the small letters of a task,
21:07once again proving
21:08they never read the fine print.
21:10That's right, Jeremy.
21:11Our task is not to wave
21:13a red flag
21:14but a bread flag.
21:16Up next,
21:16Dave Nane
21:17and Yeast Mathewson.
21:22Your time starts now.
21:23Wave the correct red flag.
21:24Fastest wins.
21:25Your time starts now.
21:26Wave the correct...
21:29This is a flag.
21:31Yeah.
21:32I've stopped the clock.
21:34You've stopped the clock?
21:36Yeah.
21:37I did it.
21:38Yeah?
21:39It feels like a trap.
21:43Okay.
21:45Yeah.
21:46Yeah, let's talk about it.
21:52Yeah.
21:56That's how you do it.
21:58Don't look at me
21:58when you say that.
22:01It must feel good, Rhys.
22:02It felt good
22:03but, I mean,
22:04I've had tunnel vision
22:04in a previous task
22:06this series.
22:07When we saw their one,
22:09that was the first
22:10I found out
22:11there were giant red flags
22:12on the field.
22:14I had not seen them at all.
22:16I didn't see them.
22:17There's no red flags.
22:18I guess I'll just wave this.
22:19It'll be wrong.
22:20It felt slightly anticlimactic,
22:22didn't it?
22:23With the...
22:23I mean,
22:24how long did it take
22:24those guys?
22:25So...
22:26I don't go around
22:27shitting on your achievements.
22:30How many seconds
22:31did it take them?
22:32Dave,
22:3210 seconds.
22:34Rhys,
22:356 seconds.
22:35Wow.
22:37So,
22:381 point for Rose,
22:382 points for Morgana,
22:403 points for Juani,
22:414 points for Dave,
22:42and 5 points for Rhys Mathewson.
22:45Thank you, Jack.
22:47Alright, for all things,
22:49heating up in the kitchen,
22:50but I haven't had my fill.
22:52Got a little tasky
22:53for me to nibble on.
22:54What do we want?
22:56Another task.
22:57When do we want it?
22:58Now.
23:10Hello, Morgana.
23:12Hello, Rose.
23:13Hello, Paul.
23:14Hey, Paul.
23:15How you doing?
23:15I feel like a million bucks.
23:17Crazy.
23:18That's so much money.
23:19I like your hair today.
23:21What's it like?
23:22It's sort of on your head
23:23and looks really good.
23:25Lovely tip.
23:27And the pen.
23:30Okay.
23:33Write down five things
23:35that people do
23:35that annoy you.
23:37You have three minutes.
23:38Your time starts now.
23:39I just...
23:40There's so many things
23:41that annoy me
23:41that I can't think of
23:43all of a sudden.
23:45Man, you know,
23:46I'm a pretty, like,
23:47relaxed guy.
23:48Hand brakes.
23:49Yeah.
23:50They annoy me.
23:52Speak loudly
23:52in public places.
23:54Vote act.
23:55Just very, very loud.
23:57Me?
23:58No, not you.
23:59You could go up
24:00a couple decibels.
24:01Okay.
24:01Great task.
24:03Stop.
24:13I know it's too
24:14easy to be true.
24:16Oh, no.
24:18Write a protest song
24:20for the fifth thing
24:21on your list.
24:22Most galvanizing
24:23protest song wins.
24:25You have 45 minutes.
24:27Your time starts now.
24:30Rude.
24:32Staring.
24:34And bad.
24:35Tiramisu.
24:36We will stand too close
24:38in a queue.
24:39There's no need.
24:40Easy, easy.
24:41And last is using means
24:43as all your jokes.
24:45Any and all forms of bigotry.
24:46You can call me
24:47a woke cuck if you want.
24:48But I find bigotry
24:50very annoying.
24:51Sneaky, sneaky devils.
24:53I think all I can do
24:54is rap
24:55because I truly am
24:56so worried
24:57about singing
24:58on television.
24:59What kind of music
25:00I can play.
25:08Terrible.
25:09I hate it.
25:10I really dislike that song.
25:12Whoever did that
25:13did a bad job.
25:15You okay, man?
25:19It's just so fire.
25:23I swear to God, Paul,
25:25you're not helping.
25:25Okay, sorry.
25:26And I need you to help.
25:26Sorry.
25:31I love a good protest song, Paul,
25:33but the thought
25:34of writing it
25:35and then singing it
25:36in public
25:36on television
25:37makes me feel
25:39physically ill.
25:41So who should we make
25:42do it first?
25:43Our first contestant
25:45to clash with the system
25:46is the working class
25:47heroes,
25:48Matafeo.
25:54You're looking at me.
25:56You're looking at me.
25:58Stop!
25:59Cease!
26:00Just this!
26:01You're rude staring.
26:04What you care in?
26:07Mind your business.
26:10Is this a fish?
26:12Is this a fish?
26:12Why do you stare?
26:19It's almost as if
26:21you really do care.
26:26Does it really hurt
26:29that we're wearing
26:32these short guns?
26:35Yeah!
26:37My thighs are not your property!
26:39So why do you keep
26:44staring at me?
26:46And me?
26:55The queer note.
26:57No, seriously.
26:58That's not being possible.
26:59Being possible.
27:00Sorry.
27:01The music was too powerful.
27:09It was powerful.
27:12You couldn't watch.
27:13I have done this show twice.
27:15I've never been able to not
27:16watch a task before.
27:17What was it about that?
27:18It's so vulnerable.
27:21It's so vulnerable.
27:22I think, Paul, thank you very much
27:24for supporting me on that.
27:25No worries.
27:26You look amazing in a skirt.
27:28You did refuse to take
27:29your trousers off, though.
27:30No, I...
27:32I took one pair off,
27:33but I have a few left, ladies.
27:39Okay, I don't want to stare
27:40at Rose too long,
27:41otherwise I think I'll get told off.
27:42Who's up next?
27:43She doesn't like people
27:44standing too close
27:45behind her in queues.
27:47It's Morgana O'Reilly.
27:48It's time to talk about
27:49the big issue in the world.
27:52Something that really
27:53pisses me off.
27:56When you're lining up
27:58in a big old line
27:59Gotta stay behind
28:00Gotta get in line
28:02When I move around
28:03I wanna take my time
28:05Back off when you're
28:07standing in line
28:07A-B-C-D-E-F-G
28:10H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P
28:13Cute, cute, cute, cute
28:15Space it out
28:17In the queue, queue
28:18Don't wanna get COVID
28:20Don't wanna get nits
28:21Don't wanna get the plague
28:22Don't wanna smell your pits
28:24I wanna feel roomy
28:25I wanna feel real groovy
28:26I wanna swing a cat
28:28I wanna take a nap
28:29Q, Q, Q, Q
28:32Space it out
28:33In the queue
28:38Couple of questions
28:40for you, Morgana.
28:40Why the country song?
28:42I had a whole
28:43Cute ditty
28:44And then somebody
28:45Pointed out
28:46It was very close
28:47To afternoon delight
28:48And then I had to try
28:49And change it
28:50But my
28:51I'm not
28:52I'm no singer
28:53Which I know
28:53You wouldn't think
28:55To see it
28:56But
28:56I found it hard
28:57To pivot
28:58In that way
28:59Great integration
29:00Of the alphabet
29:02And some other great lyrics
29:03I wrote down here
29:04Don't wanna get COVID
29:06Don't wanna get nits
29:08Don't wanna get the plague
29:09Don't wanna smell your piss
29:11Or your pits
29:13Oh your pits
29:14Yeah
29:19They both work
29:20Well it's time for a break
29:21From all this whinging
29:22Hopefully the revolution
29:23Will continue to be televised
29:25When we get back
29:26We'll see you then
29:40Welcome back to Taskmaster
29:41Where five people
29:43Who get to play games
29:44For a living
29:45Are complaining about
29:46How hard their lives are
29:48That's right Jeremy
29:49Our contestants are performing
29:51A protest song
29:52About a pet peeve
29:53So far we've had
29:55Being stared at
29:56And being stood too close to
29:57In a queue
29:58What societal change
29:59Will our next contestant
30:01Have on his agenda
30:01The answer my friend
30:03Is Hawane in the wind
30:07You can't get by
30:10In a conversation
30:15Without Wi-Fi
30:18You know what I'm saying
30:20Gotta
30:22Rise up
30:23Your eyes
30:25From your phone
30:27You're
30:28In a room
30:30With people
30:31Acting like
30:32You're alone
30:34And
30:35Don't take
30:37Those beams
30:38And talk
30:39To me
30:40And take
30:43Away
30:44The things
30:46You saw
30:47Online
30:47Think
30:49How can I be
30:51A goo guy
30:53Take those memes away
31:00Find something new
31:03To see
31:04To see
31:09Beautiful
31:10Oh wow
31:13Morning
31:15You've written songs before
31:16I've made up songs on the spot before
31:23This is supposed to be like quite a funny show
31:26I was looking at myself being like
31:34You've got to relax
31:37It was like I was talking about global warming or something
31:40You know
31:42But I thought the song was lovely
31:44It was very Ed Sheeran-esque
31:46Yeah
31:47Bit of Dobbin
31:48Yeah
31:48Nature's best mate
31:49Dave Dobbin
31:51Ed Sheeran
31:51Just any ginger singer
31:53You can sing
31:53I'm sick of
31:55I'm sick of you
31:55I'm sick of you
31:56I'm sick of you
31:56I'm sick of you
31:57Had a real Mick Hucknell quality
32:01I'm sick of you
32:04I'm sick of you
32:07I'm sick of you
32:08I'm sick of you
32:18You ready
32:18You know it
32:19Okay
32:20Here we go
32:24The bigger the bigger fingers
32:26More vigorous itching trigger fingers
32:28A sentence wickeder than shooting
32:30Harambe gorillas
32:31Our lapelovia for misogyny
32:33Racism by phobia
32:34There's no both sides for anti-semitism
32:37Homophobia
32:37Trans women are women
32:39Anyone that's saying they're different
32:40Will get a cavity fill in
32:42Brings bite out of her ceilings
32:44And J.K. Rowland can get to
32:46And I don't have a rhyme
32:47She's just a fundamentally bad person
32:49Harry Potter's good girl
32:50Let me change her
32:50Sexism, ageism, ableism, and misandry
32:53Got no place in the heart
32:55That's brimming with empathy
32:58Ephebophobia, gerontophobia
32:59Heterophobia, xenophobia
33:01Slomophobia, visualophobia
33:02Your time is over
33:03I'll close your eyes
33:04As I drove over you
33:05In 30 different range of rovers
33:07And ethnicism, speciesism, and autism
33:10You listening clearly?
33:13You listening clearly?
33:16In bigotry
33:17In bigotry
33:21You really?
33:22I was expecting you to kind of jump in on the verse more
33:24Oh, sorry
33:26I actually just said Harry Potter is good
33:28Yeah, I heard that
33:30Yeah, sorry
33:30No, that's fine
33:31I, I
33:32Yeah, sorry
33:39So I think
33:39The most processed songs
33:41Sort of end up
33:41With some kind of disagreement
33:42At the end
33:43An argument between the
33:44All the best bands break up
33:47So at one point
33:48Were you suggesting
33:49That you run bigots over
33:50With range rovers?
33:5230 of them, yeah
33:55I mean, that's the problem
33:56With the range rovers
33:57The suspension's so good
33:58You don't know you've hit them
34:00Oh, oh, oh, oh
34:04Yeah, yeah
34:04Until you get to
34:05Trump in 30
34:07We've got one protest song left
34:09Haven't we, Paul?
34:10Yes
34:10Asking us what's going on
34:12It's Marvin Day
34:14Vwhane
34:15And how you want to film it?
34:17Probably with the lens cap on
34:21Okay
34:22And everything out of focus
34:23Seems like you don't want people
34:25To see your performance
34:26Yeah
34:27Okay
34:28Or maybe
34:29Maybe half a lens cap
34:31You know
34:39It's a protest song
34:42Of tiramisu gone wrong
34:44Bad, bad
34:46Body gone
34:47Bad, bad, body gone
34:50The tiramisu is wrong
34:53When you try as tiramisu gets made
34:56Think
34:58Bad, bad, naughty gone
35:01Bad, bad, naughty gone
35:04The tiramisu is wrong
35:06When you don't take time
35:08To make tiramisu fine
35:10Bad, bad, naughty gone
35:14Don't ring that dong
35:16The tiramisu is so damn wrong
35:19But when tiramisu is moist
35:22And the choicest of the choice
35:25No more naughty gone
35:32Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yum
35:36Yummy, yummy, yum
35:39Yummy, yummy, yum
35:44Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy
35:50Yum
35:55Tremisu is good
36:09Dave, talk us through the Bad, Bad, Naughty Gong.
36:12With a lot of protest songs, there are too many words.
36:16And the way to remember things, one simple phrase.
36:21Now, it was all about tiramisu, but you wouldn't guess that.
36:23You will only remember Bang, Bang, Naughty Gong.
36:29So I sort of failed in that.
36:35It was about dry tiramisu, wasn't it?
36:37Yeah, which is a crime.
36:39Oh, terrible.
36:40Yeah, I go to a cafe, and then they bring out the tiramisu,
36:43and you dig your spoon in, what is it?
36:46Cream!
36:47And only a little bit of custard.
36:49So are we sure tiramisu's got custard in it?
36:52Yeah.
36:53We think you have the same dessert here, the Italian...
36:55Yeah, yeah.
36:56You're describing a trifle.
36:57No.
37:00You know, it's hot in here, the lights say, it's just weird.
37:03Oh, so hot.
37:05That's funny.
37:06I actually bought David a pavlova today,
37:09and he was like, this tiramisu's not even close.
37:13So how do you want to score?
37:14Well, I was going to score Dave quite high,
37:16but I've realized he doesn't even know what dessert is to look like.
37:19Dave actually needs one point.
37:21Okay.
37:21I've swapped it around.
37:23Fair enough.
37:24I'm going to go two points for Rhys,
37:26because I think I prefer bigotry now.
37:30I'm going to go three points for Hawani,
37:32because we've got to be very careful in this current environment,
37:35telling people not to look at...
37:37However you want to watch Taskmaster,
37:39be it on a mobile device,
37:41we accept all ways that people watch Taskmaster.
37:44And this is coming from a fan of bigotry.
37:49And then I was going to go four points for Rose,
37:53and then I would go five points for Morgana.
37:56I really like the line about the nits.
38:02Well, I don't know about you,
38:04but I'd like to hear some process songs
38:06from people who don't have their own voice,
38:07like multinational corporations.
38:09It's time to watch your mads.
38:11We'll see you soon.
38:26Welcome back to Taskmaster.
38:27It's almost time for the live task,
38:29but how are the scores looking, Paul?
38:31Out in first with 16 points,
38:33Morgana O'Reilly.
38:37Things are heating up.
38:39It's time to head to the stage
38:41for the final task of the show.
38:47Okay, Paul, who's reading the task tonight?
38:50Rose, please.
38:52Don't say the forbidden letter.
38:54Each round, you will throw a dart at the dartboard
38:57and receive a score of one, three, six, or a bullseye.
39:01You must then recite at least one letter of the alphabet.
39:04You may recite any number of letters
39:06up to the amount you score on the dartboard.
39:10If you hit the bullseye,
39:12you may recite zero to six letters.
39:15The next person must continue
39:17from the next letter of the alphabet.
39:19Whoever says the forbidden letter
39:21will be eliminated.
39:22Last remaining contestant wins.
39:24Morgana.
39:26The forbidden letter is Z.
39:36Sorry, could you not cue so close to us?
39:41B, C, D.
39:44E.
39:47Doesn't have to use all three.
39:50F, G, H.
39:52First person to not get applause, okay.
39:55LAUGHTER
39:57I, J, K.
40:00LAUGHTER
40:00Wait.
40:05L.
40:06M.
40:08N.
40:10O.P.
40:12Oh, you sex shit.
40:15LAUGHTER
40:17Q, R, S.
40:20T, U, V.
40:22W, X, Y.
40:25He needs a bullseye.
40:31He needs a bullseye.
40:33For this round, the forbidden letter will be W.
40:38A, B.
40:41C, D, E.
40:43F, D, H, I, J, K.
40:51M, N, O.
40:53P, Q, R.
40:56It's a six.
40:57Ooh.
40:58S, T, U, V, W, X.
41:01LAUGHTER
41:04I f***ed up.
41:05I f***ed up.
41:08How did I f***ed up?
41:09You said W.
41:10Oh, I forgot it was a Z.
41:13LAUGHTER
41:14Sorry.
41:15F***.
41:17LAUGHTER
41:18I hate this for you.
41:20This round, the forbidden letter is T.
41:24A, B, C.
41:25E, F, T.
41:26D, E, F.
41:27D, E, F.
41:28Yes.
41:29Oh, what?
41:30Are we allowed to just do that then?
41:32LAUGHTER
41:34LAUGHTER
41:36LAUGHTER
41:37Bullbacks.
41:38G.
41:39Six.
41:40H.
41:42Oh!
41:44LAUGHTER
41:45LAUGHTER
41:45I, J, K.
41:46LAUGHTER
41:47L, M, N.
41:50Six.
41:51O, P, Q, R, S.
41:56LAUGHTER
41:57OK.
41:58He needs a bullseye.
42:00Oh!
42:01Oh!
42:03Oh!
42:03T.
42:04APPLAUSE
42:05It's the final.
42:07The forbidden letter is Q.
42:09Here!
42:10Ha, ha, ha, ha!
42:11Three.
42:11A, B, C.
42:13Ooh!
42:15First bullseye.
42:16D, E, F, G, H, I.
42:20Oh!
42:23Oh!
42:23Oh!
42:24Oh!
42:29Oh!
42:29Oh!
42:29Oh!
42:29Oh!
42:29Oh!
42:30Oh!
42:30Three.
42:32I'm going to take that.
42:33LAUGHTER
42:33She needs the bullseye to skip.
42:38Ooh!
42:41Ooh!
42:41Che...
42:45Don't you cheer for me now!
42:47LAUGHTER
42:48You weren't there at the start!
42:51CHEERING
42:51I got hit on my own.
42:53Come on down, everyone, and we'll score it.
42:56Come on down.
42:57CHEERING
43:02So one point for Dave, two points for Rose, three points for Huani, four points for Morgana,
43:08and five points for Rhys Mathewson.
43:11Time to get our ducks in a row.
43:15Who has won episode six of Taskmaster season seven?
43:19The winner of episode six with 20 points is Morgana O'Reilly.
43:24Congratulations, Morgana.
43:26Please head up to the stage to collect your beautiful barbed belongings.
43:36It's time to reflect on what we've learnt tonight.
43:39We've learnt that whether you wave or jiggle a red flag, you shouldn't do it in front of sheep.
43:44And you came in like a blister, your salami's out, your milk top looks terrible, bad, bad, naughty gong.
43:54But most importantly, we've learnt that the winner of episode six is Morgana O'Reilly.
44:00We're forward to seeing you next time.
44:02Mā te wa.
44:24I mean, this is going to be a shit show.
44:26That was the scooter.
44:28Go, Batch, go!
44:30Stupid game.
44:31I love this game!
44:32It's not a game, it's a task.
44:33Shut the heck up!
44:34You're a little shit.
44:36And then I knew it's not the job for me.