Rainbow Baby by Jennifer Shebib | Radio Interview

Name: Rainbow Baby by Jennifer Shebib | Radio Interview
Uploaded: 2026-10-08T02:18:33+00:00
Duration: 17 min 8 s
Channel: Milton & Hugo

00:01Welcome to the Milton and Hugo podcast with Michael Whitehouse.

00:06Today, we're joined by an author to explore their new book and hear the story behind it.

00:12Let's get started.

00:16Welcome. I'm excited to introduce you to author Jen Shabib. She is a wife, mother,

00:22and lifelong advocate for independence and perseverance. Raised in a multi-generational

00:27household in Michigan, she learned the value of hard work and self-reliance from an early age.

00:31While working full-time, she earned a bachelor's degree from the University of Michigan and went

00:35on to build a successful career spanning more than 20 years and recruiting talent acquisition.

00:40Following an unexpected career transition, Jennifer found the time to pursue a long-held

00:46dream of writing. She lives with her husband, Brad, their son, Nicholas, and their two rescue dogs,

00:51Casey and Charlie. And of course, Jennifer is the author of the book, Rainbow Baby,

00:57which we'll be talking about today. So welcome, Jennifer. How are you today?

01:01Thank you. I'm very happy to be here. Appreciate you having me. I'm doing great. Thanks.

01:06Great. So tell us a little bit about Rainbow Baby and what inspired you to write it.

01:10So Rainbow Baby is a memoir about my fertility journey. Everything that I went through to have

01:17my now rainbow baby, Nicholas, just the trials, the tribulations, the seven failed rounds of IVF,

01:25a failed adoption attempt, a couple of miscarriages, and ultimately becoming a mom at 47,

01:32which is an advanced maternal age, as many doctors shared with me over the years.

01:38I felt it was important to tell the story, Michael, because when I was going through the journey,

01:43I didn't feel I had support, but I didn't feel that I had really something, something to connect

01:51to a meaning. There was a lot of books about the science behind everything. And you would hear

01:55stories, but not the story behind the story of how women that were older were having children. So I

02:01felt it was important to tell the story. It's a topic that's not widely talked about. There's some

02:07taboo and shame and guilt behind it. And I felt like I just wanted to be really raw and honest

02:13about

02:13everything that I went through and hopes that, you know, it could reach just one person that may

02:18have a similar journey that might've been feeling that isolation too. That's very important message

02:24you're sharing. And why do you think there's so much shame and guilt and people don't want to talk

02:28about it? Yeah, I think, you know, when women, when you grow up and, you know, women are, you know,

02:34have babies. And admittedly, I didn't even know if I wanted to have children when I was younger,

02:40or even in my early adult years, I was focused on career. And it wasn't until I met my now

02:45husband,

02:46Brad, in my late thirties that we both were decided we wanted to have a child. And I just feel

02:54like

02:55it's a topic where, you know, if you can't have a child right away, like my sister-in-law has

03:00four

03:00kids that had no issues. But other women that, you know, it doesn't come as easily and you have

03:07fertility issues. It's just a topic that can provide a lot of shame and guilt as a woman,

03:13because you're not able to do it so easily. It's not as easy as a journey as one might think,

03:20you know, there is, you know, there's issues can happen. And as a woman, you feel guilty if you're

03:27not able to produce that child, you know, right away or that, you know, that there can be issues.

03:33And I said, did you find that was, was pressure from outside or was it more your own internal sense

03:39of, of shame? Like, were there, were there other women who kind of gave you the impression that they

03:44were judging you for it? Or did you feel as more from your own upbringing? Yeah, it was probably a

03:48little of both. And then, you know, as I, as I got each year older and still couldn't have a

03:55child,

03:56there were also others that said, you know, maybe you should not do this. Maybe, you know,

04:01you're going to be too old. Well, I think it's time to stop. And so that just created more shame

04:05and guilt that there was also that, you know, perception out there that because I was getting

04:11older, maybe you should just not try. So that, that, that was a lot of that, but it was probably

04:18some of my internal guilt too, like feeling I'm not able to give my husband the child that he wants,

04:24you know? And so, but then there was the external factors too, of people kind of like, okay, you

04:30know, your clock is way over ticking. Maybe it's time to, to give up this dream. So.

04:35Right. And, and so obviously this was your journey, but it was also your husband was on this journey

04:41with you. So what was he like along the journey with you?

04:46Super supportive. I could not have gone through it without him. After our first failed round,

04:51um, I said, I don't know if I can go through this again. It's a lot, um, physically, emotionally.

04:58And, you know, he said, I will support whatever it is you want to do. And, and after a few

05:03months

05:03of healing, I decided I wanted to try it again and he was right there to support me. So we

05:08talked a lot

05:09about, you know, how much having a child meant to us, but that if at any point it became too

05:16overwhelming

05:16physically, emotionally that we, you know, maybe this wasn't our path. So he was extremely supportive,

05:23um, for the decisions that we made together. And that was important.

05:28So one thing you added in the notes is that when hope becomes exhausting, um, cause we often think

05:32of hope, you know, that believing it can happen, believing we can have the happy ending. Um, but

05:38you know, is there a point where that almost becomes a burden by itself?

05:41Yes, absolutely. I, you know, probably somewhere in the first miscarriage and fourth round of IVF,

05:50I just was exhausted emotionally and thought, I just don't, you know, I don't know if I have the

05:56faith anymore to keep going. Um, I hope it just became something that I didn't even, you know,

06:04realize was that we could be there again. Um, so yeah, it was right in the middle of the journey

06:09when I decided I might give up again. Um, but then, you know, I just kept thinking,

06:14I really want to experience having a child. And I just, I felt like I was, I still had it

06:19in me.

06:20So I had to do a lot of self-talk along the way to kind of get me through that,

06:24which it did.

06:26Now, so is this, is this only a story for women who are dealing with infertility or would this story

06:32also be relevant to someone who's, who's deferred some other dream or had some, uh, had some other

06:38challenge in front of them? Yeah, I think it's a story just about resilience and going, you know,

06:45hope on the other side of going through a season or a chapter that you didn't plan for.

06:49So I think it's much broader than just infertility and then, you know, having a baby. I think it's

06:54just the message of, you know, being resilient, persistent, you know, and having, um, you know,

07:02not giving up on a dream that you have, whether it is having a baby or something else. So yeah,

07:06it's much broader, um, for me. Okay. So it's a much bigger message than just,

07:11just a fertility message, but really a resilience and overcoming message.

07:15Yes, absolutely. Yeah. And so a key part of your story, obviously the,

07:20the core of your story happens once you're of advanced maternal age, as they say,

07:26which I bet is one of those phrases that, you know, makes your hair stand up every time you hear

07:30at this point. Uh, so if one more doctor says advanced maternal age to me, yeah. Yes. Uh, so,

07:39but now obviously part of that, because of our, our social pressures, you get, you have,

07:44you're expected to be a mother, but you're also expected to focus on your career, but you're also

07:47expected to do this and also this and also this. What would your message be to women in their twenties

07:52who are facing that choice of where to put their energy and, and how to plan their life based on

07:59your

07:59experience? Yeah, I think, you know, it's, if you're in your twenties and, you know, I, I look

08:06back and I think, oh my gosh, I can't, I couldn't imagine having a child in my twenties, just what

08:10I

08:10was doing, where I was at in my life. But, um, but many women do. And, you know, I think

08:16if you're

08:16unsure, um, one thing that I did not really get guidance on was this whole, you could freeze your

08:22eggs. You know, maybe I would have done that, um, that there are options. Um, even if it's not a

08:28fertility thing, you're just unsure you could freeze your eggs. And then if you decide later

08:33in life, you know, after you've had established your career and you want to have the child,

08:38then you have that option. You don't have that age pressure, um, ahead of you to, to maybe do it

08:43sooner than you were ready because you, you know, you know that you can, you have, you know, your

08:47eggs already preserved. So you don't have to worry about that. Um, so that would be a big piece of

08:52advice that I would just say is you have options, um, explore them. You can do both. Um, I had

08:59a

08:59very successful career and was able to, you know, go through a pregnancy, have maternity leave, and

09:04then still be good at my career. So you can't have both. You just have to know your options.

09:10Yeah. And that's the key thing is that it, it sounds like you weren't presented with that option

09:14when you were in your twenties. No doctor said, are you planning to have children now? And if not,

09:19you know, how are you planning this? Were they just kind of assuming you were just going to have

09:22kids in your twenties and cause that's what women do or what did you experience then?

09:26Yeah. And my doctor, so then I actually, when I started reaching, you know, early thirties,

09:31my doctor would say, well, you know, you might want to start having, you know, think about having

09:34the kids, you know, once you reach 35 years, you know, that's back then they didn't say advanced

09:38maternal. I think, I don't know what the term was, but it wasn't as nice. Not that advanced

09:43maternal is, is nice, but it's better. I think the formal term is like geriatric motherhood or

09:50something. Yeah. Yes. Yes. But I, those, the conversations about my options, it was just,

09:55you need to have a baby. And that just may put more pressure on me because I, I was not

10:01ready and I

10:02didn't even know if I wanted kids. So, but every time I went in for a yearly checkup, he just

10:08said,

10:08you just, you need to start having kids. And so if I would have maybe heard, well, if you're unsure,

10:14why don't you think about freezing your eggs? Or, you know, if you get older and you're still

10:18unsure, you can use a donor egg. Like those conversations just didn't happen until, you

10:24know, I was in my late forties and had all these, the failed, you know, the failed IVF and the

10:31miscarriage. Then these conversations came to light. I wish that, you know, I would have heard

10:35this message maybe earlier on in my life. Wow. Yeah. And it's, it's really interesting that the

10:40assumption is just, you should just go have children. Cause I imagine one of your thoughts

10:44was with whom? Exactly. I wasn't married or even in a serious relationship at a couple points in my

10:50life. So, you know, okay. Yeah. But you know, I, so yeah, it was, it was interesting.

10:57Yeah. And, and I see it's the same doctors who were treating you. I'm not the exact same doctor for

11:03you, but the same type of doctor treats you in your twenties, who helps you with the other stuff when

11:07you're in your forties. Right. So it's not like a different skillset. They don't know

11:10how it works or anything. Correct. Yeah. This was my gynecologist that I, you know,

11:15saw for years. So, you know, so you would, I would have, I didn't know then what I know now,

11:20but I, now I have a different doctor obviously, but I would expect those, those expectations of

11:28having those conversations should have been there. Yeah. Well, it's interesting. Cause it all sounds

11:31like he didn't ask questions. He, he simply said, well, looking at your age there, he's about time to go

11:37have kids. I didn't ask if you were married. Didn't ask if you had a partner, didn't ask if

11:42you wanted kids, didn't ask you on the later, just said. Right. Right. And you know, I'll take

11:46some responsibility for maybe me not asking the questions either. Like what are my options if I'm

11:51not ready now? I didn't really ask that either, but I still think there's some onus on, you know,

11:57your physician to make you aware of all your options if you're not ready. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.

12:02And that's, that's kind of what I'm hearing in this is that it's, uh, you know, it's something we hear

12:06in the, in medical, the American medical system across the board anyway, is that they, they look

12:10at the chart, they see what that indicates, give you some pills, give you some advice based on your

12:15age and out the door. Yo, we got 10 more people in here, move it along. And they don't have

12:20time to

12:21ask you questions like, well, what are you trying to do? What are your goals? Cause we assume, oh,

12:26you're a woman, you're 31. So, you know, you're behind the curve. So, uh, to get on it, up to

12:30it.

12:30Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Um, so what's the, the biggest thing that you'd want someone to learn

12:38from this whole story? If, if this book magically lands in the right person's hands and they read it

12:44and they get that right message, what is that message you really want them to get?

12:49Even if you're, you know, going through a season you didn't plan for, um, that you can come out on

12:55the other end, um, and, and have your greatest blessing. Um, it, it doesn't, and unfortunately

13:02this, the story doesn't always end positive for people and they don't get their rainbow baby or

13:06they don't get their miracle. Um, I was lucky enough to, to, you know, to have it work for me,

13:13but it doesn't work for everybody. So I just, if it helps one person feel less alone through their

13:18fertility journey, whether it comes out positively or not, that's really what I want. Um, as a mom,

13:24I didn't feel like there, like I said earlier, there's not a lot out there. When I decided to

13:29write this book, I, you know, did some research and I couldn't really find any, there was a lot

13:33of children's books written about rainbow babies, but not coming from the mother's perspective of

13:39everything that, you know, you go through to have this child. So, and the rainbow baby is, you know,

13:44the baby, the, the rainbow after the storm is, you know, really what, what the message is. So I just

13:49hope that again, if it just helps one person feel less alone, um, the journey can be very isolating.

13:57I mean, obviously you have your partner that goes through it with you and is there for you,

14:00but it's still, it's still very isolating and challenging to go through. And like I said,

14:06there's a lot of shame and guilt. So I just hope that it could touch one person and make them

14:11feel

14:11like they, you know, aren't alone going through a similar journey. Cause there certainly are lots of

14:16women that go through the same journey. Yeah. And that's, that's the thing is you're saying that,

14:20that I'm sure, you know, thousands, tens of thousands, maybe millions of women go through

14:24this, but they probably don't encounter each other. They're not talking about it. Your friends

14:29aren't going through it. Um, yeah. And you touched on this briefly, but what, where does the phrase

14:33rainbow baby come from? Yeah. It's a, it's so it's meant to say that after a storm, there's a rainbow.

14:40So after a miscarriage, which would be the storm, then the rainbow is the baby that you have

14:45after you've experienced the miscarriages. So that's the, that's the story behind how that

14:51phrase got coined. Okay, great. And that makes, makes sense. And now I know, so, you know, this

14:57sounds like a very powerful, very powerful story for people of all ages to read. And, uh, and then

15:02also this perspective to share with younger women, to know what their options are, even if their

15:07doctors don't tell them to let them know, because more and more women are getting, I think the average

15:12marriage age in the United States now is like 31 or 32. And, um, for some, it's even, even

15:18older than that. You know, if average is 31, that means a whole bunch of them are further

15:22on the curve than that. So, you know, some very important concepts you're sharing there.

15:27Yeah. And if you're an older, oh, excuse me. And if you're an older woman of an advanced

15:32mature age, that you still have options. Um, you know, I was, when I was going, or before

15:36I was at success, I saw so many women, even on TV that were in their forties and some

15:41of the fifties and they were having kids. And I thought, well, then obviously it's possible,

15:46but they don't always share how they got there, which is fine. It's a personal journey, but

15:51that's also why I told this story because it isn't just, I had a baby at 47. There was

15:57a whole lot of things I had to go through to have that baby. So, yes. Well, thank you

16:02so much for sharing the story. And the book is called Rainbow Baby by Jennifer Shabib, and

16:08you can find it wherever books are sold. So thank you very much. There's going to be

16:13links in the description, wherever you are watching this with more information. And Jennifer,

16:18any last thoughts or comments you would like to share with the audience?

16:21I just really appreciate the time and being able to share some color around the story and

16:26why I wrote it. And like you said, it's out there. You can purchase it on my publisher's

16:31website, Milton Hugo. It's also available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

16:36Fantastic. Thank you. Thank you for your time and for sharing your story.

16:39Thank you. Take care.

16:41That's a wrap for today's episode of the Milton and Hugo podcast.

16:46A huge thank you to our wonderful author for joining us today.

16:50Get your copy of the book now from Milton and Hugo, Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Rainbow Baby by Jennifer Shebib | Radio Interview

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