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00:00:00Hello, everyone!
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00:00:40What?
00:00:42I'm tired.
00:00:46Okay.
00:00:50I'm sick of all the meaningless connections.
00:00:57Well?
00:00:59Maybe.
00:01:01If you didn't fuck a new bitch every night, you'd actually take a moment to connect.
00:01:07Are you slut-shaming me right now?
00:01:11Absolutely not.
00:01:12But I know you.
00:01:15I'm having an existential crisis.
00:01:18Clearly.
00:01:21Why do I always do that?
00:01:23Do what?
00:01:25Lose myself and others.
00:01:28Like, I'm 22 and I still don't know what I'm doing.
00:01:32I'm gonna take a kiss and say it's because you're only 22.
00:01:35Do you not see the difference between me and you?
00:01:39You and Rachel are in a healthy relationship.
00:01:42You're committed.
00:01:43You have a house.
00:01:44Me, I dated a girl who I love so much that I freaked the fuck out, screwed it all up,
00:01:51then wanted her back.
00:01:52Just to be at the same spot two years again later.
00:01:58I look at a boutique that I fucking hate waxing vaginas all day.
00:02:06I think that sounds pretty sweet.
00:02:11What am I doing wrong?
00:02:13Parker, you have got to stop comparing us.
00:02:18We are on two separate timelines.
00:02:21We're two different people.
00:02:23I mean, we're at a weird age anyway.
00:02:26I mean, you got some people just going into college.
00:02:29You got some people getting married, have kids.
00:02:33It's gross.
00:02:34I mean, that one guy we knew from AP Bio.
00:02:38I'm thinking about her again.
00:02:44No.
00:02:46I am.
00:02:53You have got to stop this.
00:02:57Every time you get off track, you go back to this, Parker.
00:03:02You are comfortable with her, okay?
00:03:06But you cannot keep going back to that just because.
00:03:10I think I just need to get out of here.
00:03:13Go where?
00:03:15I don't know.
00:03:16Like, Nashville?
00:03:18I just want something meaningful.
00:03:25I guess if it keeps you from doing something idiotic.
00:03:29I want to drive.
00:03:32I mean, we can go for a drive.
00:03:34We've already drank.
00:03:35I mean, I want to go somewhere.
00:03:37Like, like a road trip.
00:03:40Why are you looking at me like that?
00:03:42Let's go.
00:03:43Like, like right now?
00:03:45Like right now.
00:03:48Like right now.
00:03:48Oh my God.
00:03:51Alright.
00:03:53Okay.
00:03:54Yes!
00:03:56Can we go tomorrow?
00:03:58Yeah, that's fine.
00:04:06Hey, Jessica.
00:04:08Um, I don't think that I'm going to be able to make it into work next week.
00:04:12What's that?
00:04:13My grandmother got hospitalized.
00:04:16She, uh, has really bad diarrhea.
00:04:22It won't stop.
00:04:26And they don't know, um, why.
00:04:32Listen.
00:04:32Yeah, Jessica.
00:04:33I gotta go.
00:04:34I'm sorry.
00:04:34My mom is waiting on me and I'll be in next week.
00:04:37I promise.
00:04:41You're gonna go to hell.
00:04:43My grandma's been dead for like three years.
00:04:46She'll appreciate the spot in 80 though.
00:04:48Okay.
00:04:50Okay.
00:04:55Okay.
00:05:12Close the curtain.
00:05:17Bye.
00:05:18Stay on the phone.
00:05:21Bye.
00:05:23Bye.
00:05:24Bye.
00:05:26Bye.
00:05:28Bye.
00:05:35Bye.
00:05:37Bye.
00:05:39Bye.
00:05:43Bye.
00:05:46Can you pass me the gummy worms?
00:05:52There you go.
00:05:54There you go.
00:05:56You know, when I was a kid and we'd go to the theater with my mom, she'd actually always
00:06:01bring gummies to flip the popcorn.
00:06:03So that's where you got it from?
00:06:06You thought I had a dream like you guys.
00:06:08Aww.
00:06:09She sounds like she'd be fun.
00:06:12She wasn't.
00:06:13It's not me.
00:06:29Parker?
00:06:30I think I caught asthma.
00:06:33I'm tired.
00:06:34We haven't even started walking yet.
00:06:39Shit.
00:06:41Can you believe places like this just exist?
00:06:45We get to look at it with, like, our eyes.
00:06:50It makes me feel kind of small.
00:06:54But in a good way.
00:06:55In a good way.
00:06:57I guess that's better than, you know, like, going the other way around.
00:07:00That's how you mean.
00:07:03It don't matter.
00:07:07Alright.
00:07:07We're going to stick a pen in that and come back to that later.
00:07:10Enjoy the view.
00:07:11Yeah.
00:07:20I'm glad we did this.
00:07:22It's a good idea.
00:07:29I'm starting to think that I needed this, too.
00:07:32You know?
00:07:35I don't know.
00:07:36I just feel like every day is starting to blend together.
00:07:40And it's just become so monotonous.
00:07:42And, like, am I doing something big in the grand scheme of everything?
00:07:48How could you say that?
00:07:50You and Rachel are literally perfect.
00:07:54That's interesting that you think that just because I'm in a relationship with Rachel, that my life is squeaky clean
00:08:00and spotless.
00:08:02I just never really thought about it.
00:08:06I mean, don't get me wrong.
00:08:08Rachel's my bitch.
00:08:09I love her.
00:08:12But she doesn't define my whole existence.
00:08:16Even on our best days.
00:08:18I still feel like my existence is, uh, infinitesimal.
00:08:25Whoa!
00:08:26Big word.
00:08:28I know.
00:08:29It's a song.
00:08:30It's a dope-ass song.
00:08:31You should go see it.
00:08:49So, like, we're supposed to see, like, UFOs?
00:08:54Yeah.
00:08:55So, apparently, when it gets dark, this becomes, like, the darkest place in the country.
00:09:02And then, the UFOs come out.
00:09:04So, like, at nighttime?
00:09:06Yeah.
00:09:06At nighttime.
00:09:08Interesting.
00:09:09Yeah.
00:09:13So, you remember that one time, me and you and Rachel went to Canada, and then we all got lost
00:09:19in Toronto?
00:09:20Yeah, you would think that someone from Toronto would know their way around Toronto.
00:09:25Yeah.
00:09:26Yeah.
00:09:27Well.
00:09:28But do you remember how, when we were on the plane, and, like, all of our phones died, and so
00:09:33we just gave up, and then we went and got sushi?
00:09:36Dude.
00:09:37Best sashimi ever.
00:09:39Oh, I know.
00:09:41I guess I just miss doing stuff like that.
00:09:44Well, I kind of feel like that's what we're doing.
00:09:46You know?
00:09:46Sitting out in the woods.
00:09:48Looking for aliens.
00:09:51Yeah.
00:09:53You do be having a point.
00:09:56Yeah, that's what we're doing.
00:10:01So, what's next?
00:10:02You know, I really haven't thought that far.
00:10:06Well.
00:10:08I'm just following your lead.
00:10:10I'm probably gonna need to go back to work sometime, though.
00:10:13Oh, I definitely am getting fired.
00:10:15Fuck capitalism.
00:10:16I don't want to work for modern societies anyways.
00:10:18I want to live in the woods and scavenge for berries.
00:10:23Alright.
00:10:25Well.
00:10:28Why don't we go to Nashville?
00:10:30Really?
00:10:31Yeah.
00:10:31You brought it up.
00:10:33I mean, if we left right now, we could probably get there by the night.
00:10:38Bet.
00:10:47But wait.
00:10:48There is one more thing I want you to see.
00:10:52Follow me.
00:11:04What you doing, nurse?
00:11:07Just journaling a little.
00:11:08Journaling?
00:11:10How was work?
00:11:13Oh, it's good.
00:11:14You know, it's just work.
00:11:17Oh, my dad called me on my break.
00:11:19Did you?
00:11:20Yeah.
00:11:20He wants to see if we want to go get dinner with him sometime this week.
00:11:26I have no pain.
00:11:27No pain?
00:11:28Good.
00:11:31I think it'll be good.
00:11:32I think it'll be good.
00:11:33We literally haven't seen him since.
00:11:35Can you help us with enough?
00:11:37I think it'll be good.
00:11:40I think it'll be good.
00:11:41You want coffee?
00:11:42Yeah.
00:11:42Be good.
00:11:46Well, you get...
00:11:49Here.
00:11:50Take it.
00:12:02How much?
00:12:03I think he's a dab of it.
00:12:17So, the aliens come to Earth for this.
00:12:24Uh-huh.
00:12:26And you just put your stuff on the ground and the aliens will see it.
00:12:34Yeah.
00:12:35So, I mean, you just bring your weird, send them a little shit.
00:12:38Um, and then, uh, like, uh, the aliens, like, beamed down and, like, appreciate it a lot.
00:12:49I don't know.
00:12:50That's what the lady at the desk said.
00:12:52So.
00:12:53And it's called an alien junkyard?
00:12:56Yeah.
00:13:01Okay, well, what are you going to put down?
00:13:06Way ahead of you.
00:13:17You two.
00:13:19That's what you're leaving?
00:13:22Yeah.
00:13:23You don't think you should, like, leave some, like, a picture of you and Rachel?
00:13:26No.
00:13:27The aliens don't want to see a couple of normies.
00:13:30They don't want to see Aubrey Plaza in a questionable Christmas film.
00:13:35Okay.
00:13:39What are you going to leave?
00:13:40I don't know.
00:13:45What about that?
00:13:46Oh, hell no.
00:13:47I've had this thing for, like, eight years.
00:13:49Okay?
00:13:50And that's what makes it perfect.
00:13:52It's got your human juice memories all over it.
00:13:55Leave it.
00:14:00I don't know.
00:14:03I don't know.
00:14:06All right.
00:14:07Well, the aliens better appreciate the fuck out of that.
00:14:09That thing's been the staple of my wardrobe since, like, high school.
00:14:12Hey, we're here to leave our old selves behind.
00:14:18We're here to find who the new us is.
00:14:21The new Parker.
00:14:22Okay, well, will you let me know when you figure that out?
00:14:24Okay.
00:14:25Probably not.
00:14:32What?
00:14:33You look so pretty.
00:14:35Can you help?
00:14:37Yeah.
00:14:48I'm nervous.
00:14:50Why?
00:14:51I feel like your dad hates me now.
00:14:55What?
00:14:55He's always liked you.
00:14:57He's, like, the only family you have and I just want to know how much I love you.
00:15:02Can you trust I can make good decisions?
00:15:06But I broke your alarm.
00:15:23All right.
00:15:24Today's the day.
00:15:25So do we have anything else on the agenda other than Nashville?
00:15:30No.
00:15:31Just wherever we end up.
00:15:33What is it without Nashville, anyway?
00:15:36I don't know.
00:15:36My parents always said that we would take a family trip there and we just never went.
00:15:40So, and it kind of stuck with me.
00:15:42Why?
00:15:44We always went on a cruise or to Disney World.
00:15:47I don't know.
00:15:48I guess it was just never really important to them to go to Nashville.
00:15:51But it was to you?
00:15:52Yeah.
00:15:53I always thought of it kind of like a magical place, you know?
00:15:55But in a cool, rustic, cowboy way.
00:15:58Plus, I always wanted to get one of those cute little guitar keychains.
00:16:02Hmm.
00:16:03My parents just always shipped me off to my grandparents.
00:16:06And they lived in a really tiny town.
00:16:08So, I mean, it was an adventure in its own.
00:16:10You know, just with a lot of cornfields and, you know, fast food restaurants.
00:16:15See, but I wish I had that.
00:16:18You wish you never went on a cruise?
00:16:20No, not like that.
00:16:21I mean, like, I wish my parents cared more about what I wanted.
00:16:29Okay, put this nicely.
00:16:30Dear God.
00:16:33You, my friend, need a reality check.
00:16:36What do you mean?
00:16:39So, why did you wake up with Ellie?
00:16:41Again?
00:16:43Like, in high school?
00:16:44Yeah.
00:16:46I didn't know what I wanted.
00:16:48But now, all of a sudden, you know what you want?
00:16:53I mean...
00:16:54So, let me get this straight.
00:16:57You broke up with her because you didn't want to be with her.
00:17:00But then you did want to be with her.
00:17:01Then two years later, when she got upset because you didn't treat her the way you said you were going
00:17:06to treat her,
00:17:07and now all of a sudden you went to bed.
00:17:10You know it's not so cut and dry.
00:17:13I'm just playing devil's advocate.
00:17:14I was 17.
00:17:16I thought I needed to drink all the time and smoke weed and just create this, like, tornado of emotion
00:17:21just to feel something.
00:17:23You know?
00:17:24There it is.
00:17:25The contradiction.
00:17:27The contradiction.
00:17:28You love to sabotage yourself.
00:17:30You have to have the main character energy and you have to have all the problems.
00:17:34That's not true.
00:17:35No, that's kind of true.
00:17:38She's important to me, Fern.
00:17:40I know she is.
00:17:42If there's ever a chance in hell that you're going to get her back, you've got to have better coping
00:17:48mechanisms.
00:17:48You've got to learn.
00:17:49You've got to grow.
00:17:51They're not going to be good for her unless they're good for you.
00:17:55No.
00:17:58Go on another drink.
00:18:00I think I'm okay.
00:18:02Okay.
00:18:27You think you liked me?
00:18:29It's hard.
00:18:30You've never not liked Peter one.
00:18:35I wouldn't like me.
00:18:37Fuck.
00:18:43Why do you do that?
00:18:45Do what?
00:18:47Why do you need other people's validation?
00:18:51He's your dad, Ellie.
00:18:55But I love you.
00:18:56Can that not be enough?
00:19:02How do you forgive yourself?
00:19:10Because I always look a good job.
00:20:40I'm going to puke.
00:20:47Are you ready for it?
00:20:51Why do I feel like I'm about to have a pulmonary embolism?
00:20:54You know, that is how I felt the first time I ever saw Brad Velvet's music video for Psycho.
00:21:02I'd make a bunny, my wife, and we'd rob this whole town.
00:21:08Maybe take all that money, get a boat and sail down, down.
00:21:15Where the blue, blue waters flow.
00:21:20Yes, this is a place I would go.
00:21:26We might get ourselves lost.
00:21:29We may never be found, if ever that day comes around.
00:21:46Dude, that sucked.
00:21:49I wasn't going to say anything unless you did.
00:21:52I don't know why I thought a city full of drunken tourists, vomit-filled streets, and cheapo guitar souvenirs would
00:21:59be so life-altering.
00:22:04It's almost like you build things up in your head to be bigger than they actually are.
00:22:09You have all these unrealistic expectations.
00:22:11I don't need a lecture.
00:22:18I just think, life is about the little things.
00:22:22The stuff you didn't plan.
00:22:24No.
00:22:25No, you're right.
00:22:28Like these fries.
00:22:31I'm going to remember these fries.
00:22:34For the rest of my life.
00:22:39I have an idea.
00:22:42Okay.
00:22:43Follow me.
00:23:03Break into the pool.
00:23:05What?
00:23:06For the bucket list.
00:23:08I want to break into the pool at night.
00:23:12Okay.
00:23:23Cool.
00:23:25You should get started.
00:23:26Now.
00:23:28You know, it still hurts a little bit, but not that much.
00:23:33Because if you want somebody else, who am I to judge?
00:23:38I've been thinking about you all the time, but that's all right.
00:23:43I'm starting to get used to it.
00:23:45I think I'll survive.
00:23:46I met you in the summer.
00:23:49I met you in the summer.
00:23:50When you left, it was cold.
00:23:52Said we loved one another.
00:23:55Guess that we're wrong.
00:23:57I met you in the summer.
00:24:00My love was out of control.
00:24:02I've been going crazy without you.
00:24:06I'm so alone.
00:24:06I met you now.
00:24:10I met you now.
00:24:19I met you now.
00:24:33And I couldn't really make you stay
00:24:35So what to do?
00:24:38I'm just staring at my walls and talking to myself
00:24:41Now and then I'll try to laugh but I'll cry a bit as well
00:24:43I was never any good at being away from you
00:24:47I met you in the summer
00:24:49When you left it was cold
00:24:52Said we loved one another
00:24:54Guess that we were wrong
00:24:57I met you in the summer
00:24:59Our love was out of control
00:25:02I've been going crazy without you
00:25:05I'm so alone
00:25:06I met you in the summer
00:25:27I met you in the summer
00:25:38You know it still hurts a little bit
00:25:40But not that much
00:25:43Cause if you want somebody else
00:25:45Who might have died
00:26:08Time to shut it down
00:26:11Time to shut it down
00:26:12Shut it down
00:26:13Shut it down
00:26:13Shut it down
00:26:14What is
00:26:42You're well
00:26:44Good
00:26:44Time to shut it down
00:26:44My head
00:27:05I love it when you play.
00:27:09I know.
00:27:12So where did you learn how to play English?
00:27:15My dad, actually, yeah, he taught me, but he only learned to impress my mom.
00:27:22Really?
00:27:22Mm-hmm.
00:27:25There's a lot you don't know about me.
00:27:27Oh, yeah?
00:27:28Yeah.
00:27:28Tell me one thing I don't know about you.
00:27:29Oh, God.
00:27:35Okay, when I was a kid and I would catch fireflies, I would make wishes on them.
00:27:45That's probably the cutest thing I've ever heard.
00:27:49I mean, that was one good thing about my mom.
00:27:53I feel like she always had her head in the clouds and believed that life was, like, made of magic.
00:28:01It's actually really instilled that in me.
00:28:04Yeah, but that does kind of sound like you.
00:28:08I mean, yeah, I kind of hate it, though, because she was always wanting to live this, like, bigger-than
00:28:14-life reality, and one day she just decided that me and my dad were not part of that dream anymore.
00:28:22I mean, it wasn't enough, so, yeah.
00:28:26I mean, you were just a kid.
00:28:30I don't think it's that it had anything to do with you not being enough, you know?
00:28:36Plus, your heart is nothing like hers, anyways.
00:28:40Mm-hmm.
00:28:42I just don't want to hurt someone the way she hurt me, though.
00:28:47I don't want to hurt someone.
00:28:50Plus, I feel like a five-year-old wanting to play pretend all the time is probably a lot to
00:28:56handle.
00:29:11Plus, you know what? I don't think she's even wanting kids anyway.
00:29:13All right.
00:29:15All right.
00:29:16All right.
00:29:18All right.
00:29:21All right, let's fly right now.
00:29:37OK.
00:29:47Remove Evening the
00:29:53Where are we going?
00:29:55You'll see.
00:29:58Are you going to kill me?
00:30:01Ellie, you're not supposed to know. Be quiet.
00:30:04Are you choosing a way by knife or another weapon?
00:30:07What would be more Villanelle of me?
00:30:10She'd probably have some really elaborate scheme
00:30:13and then corner me in the alleyway in Paris or something.
00:30:17Mine would be better.
00:30:30This is sweet.
00:30:33You're sweet.
00:30:58Oh, so my friend Michaela is coming in from out of town next weekend,
00:31:01and there's this party that I think we're going to go to.
00:31:06But we went out last weekend.
00:31:08I know, but I want to go, like, out, out.
00:31:12Just going out with me, just to, like, knock out?
00:31:16You know I don't mean it like that.
00:31:19Yeah, I guess I'll just stay home alone again.
00:31:41Parker!
00:31:42Parker!
00:31:43Parker!
00:31:44I have found the best use of our word for the most uncomfortable situation.
00:31:51Slong!
00:31:52What happened?
00:31:54Well, I'm glad you asked.
00:31:56There I am in the woods, trying to take a fat piss, and a fly goes right in my face.
00:32:04That's not the best part.
00:32:06Because I didn't see it.
00:32:07I fell right back into my piss.
00:32:11It's not funny.
00:32:13It's kind of funny.
00:32:14It's kind of not funny.
00:32:14It's kind of very funny.
00:32:17Get in the car.
00:32:18Get in the car.
00:32:19We're going.
00:32:30All right.
00:32:32What?
00:32:33What?
00:32:44I got you something.
00:32:52What is that for?
00:32:57Just because?
00:33:12Ellie, I'm sorry.
00:33:15You're doing it.
00:33:17Doing what?
00:33:18You're pulling away.
00:33:21Ellie.
00:33:23No.
00:33:24It's not like that.
00:33:25You know, you promised me on New Year's that you wouldn't do this
00:33:28because of some confusion you have about yourself and what you want.
00:33:34Ellie, we just went on a picnic and to dinner with your dad.
00:33:42What?
00:33:43Am I not allowed to have a few drinks after work?
00:33:46Leave the house?
00:33:47Am I not allowed to?
00:33:50No, you can leave the house.
00:33:52But when you came back to me, we promised that our relationship would not be like this anymore.
00:34:00That's not what's happening.
00:34:02And then what is happening?
00:34:04I don't know.
00:34:07I never do.
00:34:10But I don't, I don't know.
00:34:13I don't want to know what living in a world without you is like.
00:34:16And I feel like I'm hurting you.
00:34:20And stop pulling away.
00:34:23It hurts me when you do that.
00:34:25We're happy.
00:34:27We're good.
00:34:28Yeah, we're good.
00:34:29We're good.
00:34:31We're good.
00:34:32We're good.
00:34:33We're good.
00:34:35We're good.
00:34:36We're good.
00:34:38We're good.
00:34:38We're good.
00:35:19We're good.
00:35:20Can I get a cap?
00:35:24For the sixth time?
00:35:26No.
00:35:27Why?
00:35:28Because they stink.
00:35:30They're stinking.
00:35:31You want to clean the litter box?
00:35:36Hold on, oh my god, hold on, I'm so late.
00:35:38Oh, that's probably Rachel.
00:35:45It's my mom.
00:35:52You sure this is a good idea?
00:35:54Don't be a fucking pussy.
00:35:55I'm not a fucking pussy.
00:35:58I'm gonna get caught.
00:36:17I'm not a pussy.
00:36:19I'm not a pussy.
00:36:19I'm not a pussy.
00:36:21I'm not a pussy.
00:36:23Try it on again?
00:36:25Or not.
00:36:26I gotta go.
00:36:32Bye bye.
00:36:34Let's go, let's go, let's go.
00:36:36What are we gonna do now?
00:36:39We're already in our bathing suits.
00:36:41Wanna go to the beach?
00:36:43What beach?
00:36:46Pinsicola?
00:36:47Yeah.
00:36:49I guess, yeah, okay, cool.
00:36:50Okay, okay, okay.
00:37:05Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
00:37:07Without my love for the ocean, I would be long gone by now.
00:37:18It's some kind of devotion that brings me down.
00:37:29That without my love for the ocean, I would be no one.
00:37:41No one.
00:38:00What's wrong?
00:38:02Elle, what's wrong?
00:38:04Oh.
00:38:13I got there and he was gone.
00:38:18I'm so sorry.
00:38:23My mom was there and she was acting like it was the end of her world.
00:38:28Like she never left.
00:38:30Like she even cared, ever.
00:38:36I know.
00:38:37It's so complex.
00:38:41She didn't, she didn't deserve to see him.
00:38:44At all.
00:38:45I deserve to see him.
00:38:47Elle.
00:38:48Don't tell me.
00:38:50She's your mom.
00:38:52I don't care.
00:38:55Elle.
00:38:58What can I do?
00:39:01Nothing.
00:39:03Oh.
00:39:06He's my dad.
00:39:08He was the only one that was ever there for me.
00:39:10He was the only one who never left.
00:39:14I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to even do now.
00:39:18I'm so sorry.
00:39:21Parker.
00:39:21Don't be.
00:39:23Okay, but like, I'm here.
00:39:27Whatever you need.
00:39:34Are you?
00:39:38What does that even mean?
00:39:40I'm sorry Parker.
00:39:42I just, I just don't know how to process it.
00:39:47I get it.
00:39:50Nobody should be projecting that onto you.
00:39:52I shouldn't be doing that.
00:39:53I'm sorry.
00:39:55I kind of deserve it.
00:39:57No, you don't.
00:39:59Elle.
00:40:01Let's be honest.
00:40:02I'm not the most reliable person that's in your life.
00:40:10I feel like I wreak havoc on you, your life, your stability.
00:40:21I feel like I leave you constantly wondering when the next time I'm going to have a big breakdown.
00:40:27You're out of my place when it's gone.
00:40:30I'm just going to love it.
00:40:36If that's not bad.
00:40:36This isn't about me.
00:40:38This is about you.
00:40:42I just lost your dad.
00:40:48I just can't believe he's going.
00:40:56He was so good last time this time.
00:41:21That's what I'm told.
00:41:24We'll be back soon.
00:41:27I don't know, but I still miss her.
00:41:30Yeah, I feel that.
00:41:35Who do you miss?
00:41:37Your mom.
00:41:40Yeah, I bet you do miss my mom.
00:41:42No, really, I do.
00:41:45You know, reiterate, let's just go back.
00:41:47Why are we here again?
00:41:50Like, on the trip?
00:41:52Yeah, yeah, on this trip.
00:41:57Because we wanted to do something exciting.
00:42:03Get away.
00:42:05Something to distract ourselves from this mundane capitalist environment.
00:42:17And, and, I'm trying to get over Ellie.
00:42:23Ding, ding, ding, ding.
00:42:25We have a winner.
00:42:27One moment, please.
00:42:32Blind as a bat.
00:42:33All right.
00:42:34So, I'm going to role play as your therapist, Gigi.
00:42:38Not to be confused with Gigi from the L word, but in Gigi forever.
00:42:42So, first question.
00:42:44Why do you think it is so hard for you to let go?
00:42:49What keeps you holding on?
00:42:53She's the love of my life.
00:42:57And why do you think that?
00:42:59Because I always go back to her.
00:43:02I mean, time and time again.
00:43:10Do you not think that maybe you're just comfortable in the environment you created with her?
00:43:16Like, do you really think that, like, out of 7 billion people in this whole world, there's not one other
00:43:23person that you might love?
00:43:26Not like Ellie.
00:43:30A rollercoaster of emotion is not love.
00:43:36It was love.
00:43:40It's the purest love I think I've ever experienced.
00:43:46Well, sometimes love isn't a nothing.
00:43:49Not to be healthy at least.
00:43:51Why can't I just make it fucking work?
00:43:54Like, I feel like Taylor Swift.
00:43:56I miss screaming, fighting, kissing in the rain.
00:44:00I don't want to be boring and comfortable.
00:44:04I understand that it must be really hard to even think and fathom that there might just...
00:44:12be a life after Ellie.
00:44:16But life is bendable.
00:44:18It's changeable.
00:44:19Like, you, we are meant to heal.
00:44:23You could finally love someone the way that you deserve to.
00:44:32I just wanted it to be her.
00:44:35I know it's her.
00:44:37She's my person.
00:44:42I hope you're right.
00:44:47Okay, so, um, Missy just called me and I need to get to the computer home.
00:44:52Because she doesn't fucking know how to do anything herself, so I have to get ready when I get there.
00:44:58So can you just, like, you just need me to get in there?
00:45:01Yeah.
00:45:02Go on.
00:45:04I love you.
00:45:27I love it when Ellie drinks all my oat milk.
00:45:30I love you.
00:45:59They turned our homes into ashes, we fled out the back door, we ran toward the city
00:46:07alone.
00:46:08Fuck!
00:46:17Hello?
00:46:19Ellie?
00:46:20Yeah, what's wrong?
00:46:22My fucking tire popped.
00:46:23I had to pull off the side of the freeway into some random parking lot.
00:46:27What do you mean?
00:46:29I mean it's completely deflated.
00:46:33You had to go get milk?
00:46:35Yeah, I just needed the distraction.
00:46:38Have you caught a tow truck?
00:46:41I can call one, but odds are it'll probably take a few hours.
00:46:45The funeral's in an hour, Parker.
00:46:47I know, I could try calling Fern see if he can-
00:46:49I have to go, just get here.
00:46:54Son of a bitch.
00:47:08Ellie, I am so sorry.
00:47:10I went to the sorority and Mel for the coffee, and then I was going to go straight to the
00:47:13funeral home, but then my tower popped and I called the tow truck company, but they said that they couldn't
00:47:18be there until 1.30 and I didn't know what else to do.
00:47:22I didn't do it on purpose.
00:47:26You missed my dad's funeral.
00:47:30I know, and I'm so sorry, but it's not my fault.
00:47:37Why didn't you think to just stay home?
00:47:43Do you ever think about what's going on around you?
00:47:48Ellie?
00:47:49This isn't your fucking world, Parker.
00:47:52Do you ever think, hey, maybe I should just stay home?
00:47:55Because Ellie's dad just died.
00:47:57My tire would've popped on the way to the funeral anyways.
00:48:00That's very convenient.
00:48:02Oh, do not pin this on me.
00:48:04I wanted to be there for you.
00:48:06And then you're a lot of talk.
00:48:07What the fuck is your problem?
00:48:10My problem?
00:48:12Parker, you need to figure out if I am good enough for you.
00:48:16If you ever care to give me a scrap of attention.
00:48:19All I do is give you my attention.
00:48:23All you do is worry about Parker.
00:48:30Oh, fuck that, Ellie.
00:48:32Would your mom do this?
00:48:45What is that?
00:48:46It's a stupid scrapbook that I made for our one year anniversary after getting back together.
00:48:51But it doesn't even fucking matter anymore now, does it?
00:48:54Because I'm so unpredictable, just like your mom.
00:48:59No.
00:49:00No, actually you're really predictable.
00:49:03We always end because you always live.
00:49:10Ellie.
00:49:14Ellie!
00:49:19Ellie, don't go!
00:49:21I have to.
00:49:23I'm going to go to my dad's beach house in Pennsylvania.
00:49:27You can't leave me like this.
00:49:29You always left me like this, Parker.
00:49:33You're the love of my life.
00:49:38This isn't about us anymore.
00:49:40I need to find me.
00:49:42I need to find who Ellie is again.
00:49:44It's not you, it's me, right?
00:49:46It's you too.
00:49:48It's you too.
00:49:48You desperately need to grow and find who you want to be and who Parker is.
00:49:53I don't think there can be an us anymore.
00:49:57I don't want to be here without you.
00:50:00I can't ruin myself for you anymore.
00:50:04And you can't either.
00:50:12I don't want you to go.
00:50:15I know.
00:50:15I don't want to be here.
00:50:30No one wants to be here.
00:50:35I don't want to hurt you.
00:50:36It's fine.
00:50:42You can't be here.
00:50:44I mean, you know it's gonna be late anyways.
00:50:46I mean, that's how it usually goes.
00:50:49Yeah.
00:50:53Parker just woke up.
00:50:55Hey, I'll see you when I see you.
00:50:57Okay. Love you. Bye.
00:51:01Hey! What are you doing?
00:51:06Rachel's gonna pick me up from the airport.
00:51:08What? Why? Something wrong?
00:51:13Nothing.
00:51:14I'm just not stupid.
00:51:16I'm confused.
00:51:19Why are we in Pensacola?
00:51:22Because we wanted to go to the beach.
00:51:27Why are we in Pensacola, Parker?
00:51:34Look, Fern, I was gonna tell you...
00:51:36Yeah, I know where Ellie lives.
00:51:39I really tried to give you the benefit of the doubt,
00:51:42but you are just the same old Parker.
00:51:48Those...
00:51:50Those weren't my intentions.
00:51:52So you didn't mean to take me on a trip
00:51:56that I thought was us bonding and having all these crazy, awesome life experiences together,
00:52:03only so that you can just weasel your way in to go see Ellie.
00:52:07That's not what happened.
00:52:14Well, I'm glad I could be up on in your game.
00:52:17So, cool.
00:52:18I mean...
00:52:19I wanted to see Ellie.
00:52:23But...
00:52:23It became something more along the way.
00:52:27Halfway through, I even forgot why I started the trip.
00:52:32Parker, you are my best friend.
00:52:35But for the love of God, you are...
00:52:38So manipulative.
00:52:40Anything you want, you get.
00:52:44Come on.
00:52:45Don't ruin the trip.
00:52:49You already ruined it.
00:52:51I'm sorry.
00:52:52I needed to see her.
00:52:54I needed to win her back.
00:52:57You are so worried
00:53:01about making sure everybody loves you
00:53:03that you end up treating the people who actually do love you like shit.
00:53:10I'm just confused, Fern.
00:53:13I can't do anything right.
00:53:15No one said you had to have it all figured out.
00:53:18But you just dragged everyone into your shit.
00:53:22You know what?
00:53:24You can call me
00:53:26when you've decided to be the Parker that I know you are.
00:53:30I won't be waiting for the call though.
00:53:38I'll go.
00:53:40I'll go.
00:53:53I got to do anything.
00:53:53I'll go.
00:53:53I'm going.
00:53:57I will go.
00:53:58I'm not sure if I'm a dog.
00:53:58I'm not sure I'm a dog.
00:54:00I'm a dog.
00:54:04I'm not sure if I'm a dog.
00:54:22Hi, Park.
00:54:23Hi.
00:54:31So, how are you?
00:54:33What are you doing in Pensacola?
00:54:36Oh, I'm good.
00:54:38I was just passing through the area.
00:54:40I figured I'd shoot you a message.
00:54:41I remember that you said that you were going to your dad's beach house in Pensacola.
00:54:45So, I thought it was worth a shot.
00:54:49Oh, yeah.
00:54:50I mean, moving here is probably one of the best decisions I've made in a long time.
00:54:54I can imagine.
00:54:56Probably much better than home.
00:54:59I was home.
00:55:00Humid.
00:55:01Kind of boring.
00:55:02The usual.
00:55:04I miss it a little.
00:55:08Well, you know, if you're ever in town, you can stay with me.
00:55:13Thanks, Park.
00:55:14Yeah.
00:55:16It's probably not a good idea, but I appreciate the offer.
00:55:20Yeah, I mean, I just figured I'd at least offer.
00:55:24How's Fern?
00:55:25She's good.
00:55:27Yeah, she's good.
00:55:29Rachel?
00:55:29She's good, too.
00:55:31They actually just got engaged and then bought a house, but I'm sure you already knew about
00:55:35all that.
00:55:36I do still talk to Rachel sometimes.
00:55:39That's good.
00:55:40You guys ever talk about me?
00:55:42No.
00:55:43Definitely not.
00:55:44Oh.
00:55:45No.
00:55:46Well, I mean, that's good.
00:55:48Our ending shouldn't mean, you know, an ending for you guys, too.
00:55:51It doesn't.
00:55:56So, there's this music shop I saw over off of the pier.
00:56:00Figured if you don't have any plans later, maybe we could swing by.
00:56:03Why?
00:56:06Um, I'm getting dinner with my friends tonight, actually.
00:56:10Well, I mean, that's okay.
00:56:12It was last minute anyways, but where are you guys going?
00:56:15Just this little Italian restaurant downtown.
00:56:17We go, like, every Friday.
00:56:28Why am I here?
00:56:33I just, I needed to see you.
00:56:39It's been years.
00:56:40What do you need to see me for?
00:56:42I just still don't understand why things ended, you know?
00:56:45Like, you're my person.
00:56:47And I can't, I just can't stop thinking about the night you left.
00:56:53I'm not your person, Park.
00:56:56Not anymore, at least.
00:56:58But you said it yourself.
00:57:00We're soulmates.
00:57:02You said soulmates have to be forever, Park.
00:57:05Because then what's the point?
00:57:07The point is that we taught each other lessons and how to love and treat someone with dignity and live
00:57:15up to your words, you know?
00:57:17I just, I know you're the person I'm going to end up with.
00:57:27Maybe in another universe, we were together forever, but I just don't think we're living in my universe anymore.
00:57:38Why is it so hard for me to get over you, but for you it's so easy?
00:57:43It wasn't easy.
00:57:45I spent months mourning you and I and the person I was when I was with you.
00:57:52And trying to figure out how I was going to live life without you in it.
00:57:57And I lost my best friend.
00:58:00And, you know, part of me hoped that we would cross paths again and just fall into each other's arms
00:58:06and everything would be like it used to, but that's just not life.
00:58:11Who said?
00:58:13Parker.
00:58:13Parker.
00:58:14Parker.
00:58:15Why can't we just have, like, a fairytale ending where we always end up together?
00:58:20Because this isn't a movie, you know?
00:58:22We're real people, this is real life, and I just don't think we can exist together without hurting each other
00:58:30over and over and over again.
00:58:33God!
00:58:34I must sound insane.
00:58:37No, I just don't think you take it well when things don't go your way.
00:58:47I love you.
00:58:52I think I should go.
00:58:54I'm sorry.
00:58:57No, it's fine. I just, you know, I wish you the best partner. I understand.
00:59:11I'm sorry.
00:59:14Please, don't leave.
00:59:16Parker, it's time to move on.
00:59:19You have a whole life ahead of you that does not involve me.
00:59:23A life that's beautiful and enthralling.
00:59:27You and I were a mess of memories, and I cherish all of them.
00:59:34But you will always be one of my favorite lives, okay?
00:59:47I'm sorry, it doesn't change anything.
00:59:48I remember being a family.
00:59:51I think I'd be one of my favorite things.
00:59:55You and I feel like a man?
01:00:03I'm sorry.
01:00:07I swear to God, you know, there's no way.
01:00:08I think I won't believe it.
01:00:09I can't believe it.
01:00:12I've been a dream, you know.
01:00:33This is for you.
01:00:34Nothing.
01:00:54This is for you.
01:01:22This is for you.
01:01:56This is for you.
01:02:29This is for you.
01:02:32This is for you.
01:03:28This is for you.
01:03:41This is for you.
01:04:10This is for you.