- il y a 5 jours
Watch Krapopolis, Season 3 Episode 10 on Dailymotion (2026).
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00:01Vous êtes pathé !
00:02Vous êtes le sonriest bunche de recruits je n'ai jamais vu !
00:06Vous, takez ma sword !
00:08C'est trop tard, vous êtes mort !
00:10Vous, takez ma sword !
00:12J'ai fait vos pieds, vous êtes mort !
00:14Vous, takez ma sword !
00:16Je dois avoir de ? Parce que je pense que je...
00:18Ah !
00:18Oh, un thinker !
00:20Une fois que je vais faire un peu de vos pensées !
00:23Vous pensez que nous pensons avec nos yeux ?
00:25Qu'est-ce que nous avons ici ?
00:26Aren't you cute ?
00:27But this is grown-up work !
00:29Come back when you're 12 !
00:30I ain't goin' nowhere !
00:32I've come a long way to meet you, Stupendous !
00:34Where it is, you're the best of the best !
00:37I am !
00:38Then I need you for a job !
00:40A revenge mission !
00:41I need you to help me find and kill the man who killed my dad !
00:45Oh, this is one of those stories !
00:47Little orphan girl, grizzled old warrior !
00:50Old warrior doesn't like kids, but then the kid wins her heart !
00:53You become like the daughter I never had !
00:55I don't care about your heart !
00:57Yep ! Playing it perfect !
00:59And I'm as ornery as they come !
01:00Grrr !
01:01No way you'll win me over !
01:04That was a wink !
01:05I have to tell people because of the one eye !
01:07You got yourself a deal, kid !
01:09What's your name ?
01:09I have no name !
01:11But you may call me Tit for Tat !
01:14Or Vengeance !
01:16I'm gonna call you Vengeance !
01:43Everyone, I have an announcement !
01:45First, can someone tell me if I'm standing or sitting ?
01:48You are standing ?
01:49Excellent !
01:50And is standing the one where the world spins apart into infinite rotating musical fragments ?
01:56Oh dear !
01:57Did you have a salad ?
01:59I can answer that question with a song !
02:03I forgot the question !
02:06What the hell was in that salad ?
02:08Tomanator's lettuce is a powerful hallucinogen !
02:11You naughty boy !
02:13That's why he calls it Daddygrass !
02:15Daddygrass gives Daddy the grunchies !
02:20Well, well, well !
02:22Who is this little spitfire who seems to have as many stomachs as I ?
02:26Everybody, this is Vengeance !
02:27Little feral kid, I'm gonna help with the revenge mission !
02:30You know I have trouble with killing !
02:31But the revenge kind, I do get the appeal !
02:33It just makes murder fun !
02:35Why are mortals so convinced that one type of killing is better than any other ?
02:39I mean, they're all fantastic !
02:41Nah !
02:41The revenge kill's extra special !
02:43I like to draw it out, too !
02:44Get them on the ground, sword at their throat !
02:47And then it's lecture time !
02:49And you guys know I'm not a talker !
02:50But when it comes to a know-why-I'm-killing-you monologue ?
02:53Man, I like them schnerps on Pfizer's !
02:57Gonna bond along the way ?
02:59That's the plan !
03:00No, it ain't !
03:01Look at her all angry !
03:02She's like a little me !
03:04I'm jealous of your little adventure !
03:06In fact, I'm coming with !
03:07Noah !
03:08This is my story about a spunky kid warming an old soldier's heart !
03:12You don't get to horn in on it !
03:13Horning in !
03:15Well, I have to go and see Viserra !
03:18Ooh !
03:19Your cannibal princess dream girl crush !
03:23I should never confide in any of you !
03:24She just said she had something to show me !
03:26Ooh !
03:28What is that song ?
03:29I know the harmony !
03:31It smells like chonky rainbows !
03:33Okay, so what was the personal thing you wanted to ?
03:37Oh, God !
03:37What ?
03:38Oh, this is just a severed human hand !
03:40Phew !
03:41Got it from my ex today !
03:43Oh, so your ex is threatening you !
03:46Or...
03:46Sending you a treat ?
03:48Neither !
03:48The severed human hand is a symbol of love in our culture !
03:51Heart is hate !
03:52Ear is just like, whatever !
03:54You know, just like, thinking of you !
03:55But the hand !
03:56Bloodmouth is formally signalling his intention to win me back !
04:00By sending me a treat, yes !
04:02But that's not the headline !
04:03And does that make you happy getting back with ?
04:07Bloodmouth !
04:08I am not getting back together with him !
04:11He's such a typical Colassian man !
04:14Clinging to this traditional idea of masculinity !
04:16Lying and scheming, drooling anytime anyone mentions human flesh !
04:21Oh, the classic type !
04:23He's just a caveman !
04:25Which is, you know, probably why the sex was so great !
04:27Right !
04:28I mean, mind-blowing !
04:29Sure, sure !
04:30We've all been there !
04:32Yeah, you know, he had me doing that sound !
04:34You know, the sound a woman makes when she's being completely and thoroughly satisfied !
04:39Know it well !
04:40Know it well !
04:42But I can't !
04:42He's bad for me !
04:43Besides, a traditional Colassian like Bloodmouth will just back off if he knows I have a boyfriend !
04:48So, I was thinking, could you just pretend to be my boyfriend when Bloodmouth gets here ?
04:53Oh, pretend to be your boyfriend !
04:55I can do that !
04:56It has got to be convincing, though !
04:58He's gonna be skeptical !
04:59Same with my family !
05:00Any time I date anyone, I get a million questions because of one little time I pretended I had a
05:04girlfriend named Veronica who had been turned into a coyote !
05:07I'm still not fitting up to that one, so go along with me if it comes up !
05:10Uh, okay !
05:11Well, we're a couple !
05:13Ugh !
05:14I hate having to lie !
05:15This is stressing me out !
05:16I'm gonna need to stress-y !
05:17Just look away if you need !
05:20Oh, wow !
05:22Oh, yeah !
05:22That's the stuff !
05:24All right !
05:25You got everything !
05:26You got enough water !
05:27You got layers !
05:27It gets cold at night !
05:29Stop parenting !
05:30Right !
05:30Good call !
05:31We gotta build it !
05:34Never fear !
05:35Schlub is here !
05:37Dad, you're still high !
05:39I heard that you could undo the effect by eating a lot more lettuce !
05:42As it turns out, the person who told me that was not real !
05:46No, you're not, Colin !
05:47We've talked about this !
05:48You don't see a talking wine bottle named Colin, do you ?
05:51No, Dad !
05:52Well, he's saying he doesn't see you, so I don't know who to believe !
05:56Does your dad have to come along ?
05:57It's hard to make him not !
05:59Especially when he's on lettuce !
06:01Don't eat salad !
06:02Just say no !
06:03Dad, stay home !
06:05You're gonna screw up the mission !
06:07Not for me, I won't !
06:08See what I'm saying ?
06:09He just does stuff !
06:10With reckless abandon !
06:12Okay, you can come along !
06:14You can watch !
06:15But this is gonna be my fun thing !
06:17Not yours !
06:18I'll take that kind of talk from my daughter !
06:20But not from you !
06:21Dad, I am your daughter !
06:24Now, now, girls !
06:25Don't fight !
06:28Ah, so we find ourselves at a frontier trading post !
06:32Refuge of outlaws !
06:33Smugglers !
06:33Lowlifes !
06:34My kind of people !
06:35Is this where the killer is ?
06:36No, he lives in the caves of Degor !
06:39But they say he's got a dragon for protection !
06:41We're going to need a dragon trap !
06:43Heading in !
06:43Dad, hang back !
06:44This is exactly where you don't want me to hang back !
06:48Come on, Colin !
06:52Okay, can you just confirm ?
06:54The floor is lava, the furniture is candy, and the walls are liquid ?
06:58Sure can !
06:59Nope, it's a normal bar !
07:00Well, now, I strongly suspect that you are hallucinating !
07:04Careful where you step !
07:09Excuse me, good sir !
07:10Rumour has it a fella can get into some kind of trouble around here !
07:14What kind of trouble are you talking about ?
07:15The kind of trouble good folks don't want to get into !
07:18I'm listening !
07:19You picking up on what I'm putting down ?
07:21No, you're speaking my language, brother !
07:24Good !
07:25So, if someone were on the lookout for a dragon trap !
07:28Any clue ?
07:29Oh man, did I misread that one !
07:31Yeah, I got dragon traps !
07:33How many you want ?
07:35Okay, well, this will be interesting !
07:38Coming up with a backstory for how someone like you and someone like me could have realistically fallen in love
07:44!
07:44Ha !
07:45Yes, well, I'm up for the challenge if you are !
07:47Okay, boyfriend !
07:49So, what was our first date ?
07:50Shall we say I took you to a candlelight dinner on the beach ?
07:54Moonlight dinner on a boat ?
07:56Twilight dinner on an iceberg !
07:59If you could help me out, I'd really appreciate it !
08:01It's got to be something realistic, Ty !
08:04Bloodmouth knows I don't go for something like dinner on the something to do with the sea !
08:08She figured out the pattern !
08:10Well, I don't either !
08:11Just seems like what you're supposed to do !
08:13Okay, so, what would you want to do ?
08:15Oh, I don't think you'd like it !
08:17Try me !
08:18Alright, if we're getting real !
08:19I would probably take you to the market on falafel day !
08:22Because I'm boring and I like falafel !
08:24Shut the front door !
08:25I love falafel !
08:27And I'm boring as hell !
08:28No !
08:29Are you being serious ?
08:30It's crazy !
08:31We're, like, actually made for each other !
08:33You'd probably make an awesome boyfriend, to be honest !
08:37I guess that's why we're friends !
08:39That's got to be why !
08:41So, when did you know that you loved me ?
08:43I saw you sneeze !
08:44You do it in fives !
08:45Each one cuter than the last !
08:47That is perfect !
08:49Who could possibly love my gross sneezing fits ?
08:52So then, in a Kalassian tradition,
08:54I smold your family to ascertain compatibility,
08:57and we had sex !
08:58What a beautiful love story !
08:59Oh !
09:00We should kiss !
09:01Oh !
09:02Should we ?
09:03Of course !
09:03It can't look like we've never kissed !
09:06I suppose not !
09:07Oh, quick question !
09:08Which way are you gonna lean ?
09:09Because I've been told I come in at an angle that is unworkable !
09:15Wow !
09:16Good acting !
09:18I have worked out a method !
09:20Oh !
09:20And I'm gonna need to see your moles !
09:22In case he asks !
09:22Why would he ask ?
09:23Is that another Kalassian thing ?
09:25No !
09:25He just knows I'm obsessed with moles !
09:27Do we have to ?
09:28Just strip and show me your moles, weirdo !
09:31Oh wow !
09:32I was not expecting that many moles !
09:35One ?
09:36I don't get it out of bed for one !
09:38You gotta buy a thousand !
09:39Look !
09:39It's right there !
09:40I said we just grab it !
09:42Quiet Colin !
09:43I'm negotiating !
09:44Who are you talking to ?
09:45If you got invisible friends, you gotta disclose that out front, alright ?
09:48I don't have invisible friends, and I don't wanna buy a thousand dragon traps !
09:52If you're not careful, you're gonna lose a great customer !
09:54You wanna know who's a good customer ?
09:56Asia !
09:57I'm telling you !
09:58We could take them !
09:59How would you do that if you have no arms ?
10:01You're forgetting Marissa !
10:03She has no arms either !
10:04Yeah, but she has guts !
10:05Which is a lot more than I can say for you !
10:08Your dad's a problem !
10:09On it !
10:10Hey dad !
10:10Why don't you let me...
10:11There's your distraction !
10:12Go ! Go ! Go !
10:13Get that guy !
10:17Dead !
10:21Come on !
10:23Am I hitting anyone real ?
10:25No !
10:25Then explain the blood everywhere !
10:27So you two are a couple ?
10:29It's been brewing for a while !
10:31Remember the falafel ?
10:32Remember it well !
10:33That's when you sneezed, and I knew !
10:36If you're a couple, how's the six ?
10:38Oh, amazing !
10:39That's the towel !
10:40Nice try !
10:41Well, call it a practice run !
10:42You thought you could pull another Veronica on us ?
10:44No !
10:45Veronica was real !
10:46She was turned into a coyote !
10:48She was not, Mom !
10:49He just brought a coyote to dinner !
10:51You made me have tea with its mother !
10:53We stayed friends !
10:54I have drinks once a month with a random coyote
10:56whose daughter I thought was going to marry my son !
10:58Why would the mom be a coyote ?
11:01I'm sorry you made a friend, okay ?
11:02Can you both just do us a solid and lie for us
11:05so that Viserra can get rid of her very aggressive boyfriend ?
11:08It's never gonna work !
11:09It will work !
11:10It'll work if you cooperate !
11:12I've come for my true love !
11:16Sorry, Bloodmouth !
11:17You're too late !
11:17I've got a boyfriend !
11:19Where is he ?
11:20It's me !
11:20Hello, Ty !
11:26Yeah, this might not work !
11:28Oh, man !
11:29That was fun !
11:30I can't believe we made it out of there !
11:32Man, you really clocked that guy with that trap, though !
11:35He was like...
11:39I'm not bonding with you !
11:41No, me neither !
11:43You're a hell of a fighter !
11:45Good instincts !
11:46Can I show you something, though ?
11:47Yeah !
11:49Take my sword !
11:53Try again !
11:57Again !
11:59There you go !
12:00We're going to have to expand the camp a bit !
12:02Word got out about the revenge killing !
12:04And now everyone wants in on the action !
12:06This is Richard !
12:07Gaius !
12:08Licorice Man !
12:09Colin, you already know !
12:11Marissa's with him !
12:12And lastly, Lucinda and Bethany !
12:14Who you may have noticed, are twins !
12:16Not even a hello !
12:17Shub !
12:18Your family's rude !
12:19They don't believe in you !
12:21Well, I believe in us !
12:23Come on !
12:24Yes !
12:25Now, if you don't mind, we're going to take a soak in that delicious-looking hot tub !
12:29Oof !
12:29Damn, that's hot !
12:31Dad, that hot tub is fire !
12:33You're telling me !
12:37It just doesn't track !
12:39Do you two believe this is a couple ?
12:40Absolutely !
12:42Fireworks !
12:44I can see the relationship from his side !
12:46But from her side, I'm a little fuzzy !
12:49What is not to love about this man ?
12:51He's smart !
12:52He's funny !
12:53He dreamt up a city and made it happen !
12:55He's adorably awkward !
12:57And he's not afraid to fail !
12:59Which is good, because he fails a lot !
13:01And it makes me love him even more !
13:03Well, I mean, these are things you've told me before so many times !
13:08How's the sex ?
13:09Awkward !
13:10And his moles ?
13:11Plentiful !
13:13Mmm, moles !
13:15Okay !
13:16So I see that your love is valid !
13:18Therefore, I intend to win you back !
13:21I invoke the ritual of Rectal !
13:25Ugh !
13:25Excuse me, Rectal ?
13:27Rectal !
13:28The courtship battle !
13:30Our tradition demands that you shed blood for her !
13:34Unless you don't truly love her !
13:37How much blood ?
13:38The shedding amount ?
13:39Then again, you could back out !
13:42Just renounce your love for her !
13:43In which case, you never speak to her again !
13:46And, you have to sheat your penis in a downward-facing gourd !
13:50For the rest of your life !
13:52Which will make dating hard !
13:55And, I'm sorry, you said those were the only two options, or ?
13:59I'm so sorry, Ty !
14:00I didn't think he would do this !
14:02Do people ever die during one of these ?
14:04Just out of interest !
14:05Rarely !
14:06But when they do, it is so romantic !
14:10This is it !
14:11The Caves of Degor !
14:13You two relax !
14:14Me and the gang have got this !
14:15I don't care if you are sore from the hot tub !
14:18You signed on to do a mission !
14:19And you'll damn well do it !
14:20Stoop !
14:21Yeah, I got this !
14:22Hey, Dad !
14:23Vengeance told me this guy, he's got a harem !
14:26Ooh !
14:27And they're all trained fighters !
14:28A fighting harem !
14:29What could be better ?
14:31Yeah !
14:31The lead woman is named Mandy !
14:34So I'm thinking you take your crew round the back, find Mandy, tell her you got no quarrel with her
14:39or her girls !
14:41Exactly !
14:42All right ! Come on, gang !
14:45Here, Draggy !
14:46Here, Draggy, Draggy, Draggy !
14:48You got your speech ready ?
14:49I would start real slow once you got him !
14:52Walk up and say,
14:53Well, well, well !
14:55Ow !
14:56Well, well, well !
14:58Stupendous !
14:59Yeah !
15:00Exactly !
15:01But you wouldn't say stupendous !
15:02You'd say the name of whoever it was that killed your...
15:08Oh !
15:10It's me, right ?
15:14So you're trying to tell me I'm the guy who killed your dad ?
15:18Yup !
15:18I said him instead of her to throw you off !
15:21So that's how you did it !
15:23Clever !
15:24How'd I kill him ?
15:25It was during the Philandian War !
15:26You probably don't even remember !
15:28Of course I don't remember who I kill in a war !
15:31Well, I do !
15:32That doesn't mean you got such a great memory !
15:34I mean, it was your dad !
15:36Of course you remember !
15:37It's not a memory contest !
15:39That's what I'm saying !
15:40Ugh !
15:41I knew I had to get you out of town,
15:42away from your backup !
15:44Your dad was a bit of a wrinkle,
15:45but I had you get rid of him !
15:47Listen, we're talking about a war here !
15:49I'm sorry I killed your dad,
15:51but if I hadn't killed him,
15:52he would have killed me !
15:53What difference does that make to me ?
15:55Don't make me think about that !
15:57If I think about the families, I can't do my job !
16:00Your only job right now is to die !
16:02Wait, wait !
16:04That was a really good line !
16:06I know !
16:07I said it !
16:09I love the irony !
16:11You pulled off an improbable and very tricky fake girlfriend move,
16:15only to have to fight the scariest dude in the world !
16:18Thank you, yes !
16:19I just don't know if I'll survive this !
16:20I could hamstring him somehow !
16:22Maybe by cutting his hamstrings !
16:24Then Lucera will see me as a weak little mama's boy !
16:27Wait, you think you actually still have a shot with her ?
16:29Face it, Ty !
16:30It's not gonna happen !
16:32Oh, I don't know about that !
16:33Do you know what attracted me to your father ?
16:36His massive farts !
16:36General lack of cleanliness ?
16:37Constant sex punch ?
16:38Complete irresponsibility !
16:39Those are all good guesses, but no !
16:42His sense of humour, obviously !
16:43No, I don't think he's particularly funny !
16:45Your father is the most authentic soul in the universe !
16:48He's a man who never hides his feelings and always shows you exactly who he is !
16:53Now, that's never going to be you, of course !
16:55Of course !
16:55But if you can't get out of this fight, you should at least let Viserra know how you feel !
17:00Wait, maybe I can tell her how I feel and get out of the fight !
17:04I can't impress her by standing up to Bloodmouth !
17:06But I can by standing up to the whole dumb ritual !
17:09The whole tradition is wrong !
17:10It's disrespectful to women because it takes away their choice !
17:13That's the kind of man she's looking for !
17:14Someone brave enough to stand up to history !
17:17I don't know !
17:18I think you're just gonna get that gourd slapped on you !
17:21That speech ain't gonna work !
17:22No, this will work !
17:24I can feel it in my bones !
17:25Mmm...
17:26Bones !
17:34We are here today to perform the ritual of Raktal !
17:40Wait !
17:40I...
17:41Wait !
17:41I have something to say !
17:43Viserra !
17:43I need to call this off !
17:45What ?
17:46I know you're always saying I'm too traditional !
17:49Maybe I am !
17:49But this tradition doesn't respect women !
17:53And if I'm willing to fight for you !
17:55I should be brave enough to stand up to history !
17:59There will be no Raktal today !
18:02Or ever again !
18:08Oh my god !
18:10That is the sexiest thing I've ever heard a man say !
18:13That was my speech !
18:14You stole my speech !
18:16I did not !
18:16I came to this conclusion after much thought and introspection !
18:20You stole it !
18:21I grew !
18:22Is that so hard to believe ?
18:24I also forgive my father !
18:26He did the best he could !
18:27Thank you, son !
18:30Son of a bitch !
18:31The speech worked !
18:36You really want to do this ?
18:38More than anything !
18:42I'm actually priding for that move !
18:44Don't make me like you !
18:46Ah !
18:47There they are !
18:48His harem !
18:49I'll occupy them sexually !
18:51While you subdue the killer !
18:57Listen !
18:58Before you kill me !
18:59I know what you're going through !
19:00When I was your age, I had a pet bunny that I loved !
19:04We went everywhere together !
19:05One day, this old lady in town cooked her !
19:08That is nothing like losing your father !
19:10Here's how it is !
19:11I vowed to kill that old lady !
19:13But you didn't !
19:14And you bonded with her !
19:15And she became like a surrogate bunny to you !
19:17Blah, blah, blah !
19:18Wrong !
19:19She stubbed her toe and died before I could get revenge !
19:21So, I took my anger and locked it away in a box !
19:25And it's been poisoning you ever since !
19:27Man, you are bad at guessing !
19:30No !
19:31It drives me !
19:32Reminds me of how unfair the world is !
19:34And whenever I need to dig deep and be my strongest, meanest, most lethal self !
19:40I open up that hate box and unleash it on whoever I need to !
19:44Wow !
19:45You wanna grow up to be like me ?
19:46Don't get revenge !
19:48Save it !
19:48And let it turn you into a fierce killing machine !
19:57I friggin' hate you !
19:58You're welcome !
20:00I found Mandy and her whole crew !
20:02I held them off as long as I could !
20:04But they like it a little rougher than I !
20:05So, what did I miss here ?
20:07Did you kill the man who killed your father ?
20:08Nah, he got away !
20:10Wink !
20:12Wink !
20:13Let's get back !
20:14I'm rather gravely injured !
20:18So, you're telling me you see them too ?
20:20Yep !
20:21Saw them the whole time !
20:22Just didn't want to give you the satisfaction !
20:24Yeah !
20:24I see them too !
20:25Colin !
20:26Marissa !
20:27Richard !
20:28Gaius !
20:28The Licorice Man !
20:30The twins !
20:30Of course !
20:31They're right here !
20:32Help yourself, Colin !
20:33There's plenty for all of you !
20:35Don't be shy !
20:36Dig in !
20:37So, I was sober the whole time ?
20:40Absolutely !
20:41And I'm sober now ?
20:42A hundred percent !
20:43Well, thank God !
20:45I thought I was going mad !
20:46And we cooked up something real special for you !
20:50Tender lamb shanks !
20:52Braised with red wine and a garlic caper sauce !
20:56Mmm !
20:57It smells delicious !
20:58Are you trying to trick your father into eating a plate of poo again ?
21:01Mom !
21:02It was gonna be so funny !
21:04I know it was !
21:05I'm just mad because you didn't invite me !
21:09I'm real !
21:10I'm real !
21:11Damn it !
21:11I'm real !
21:12Oh, Colin !
21:14That dream again ?
21:15Ready for round three ?
21:18Ahhhhhhh !
21:19Ahhhhhhh !
21:21Ahhhhhhh !
21:22Ahhhhhhh !
21:22Mmm !
21:23Mmm !
21:24Lettuce !
21:25Don't be a schlub !
21:26Salads kill !
21:30Did you get any of that ?
21:34Into !
21:35I love you !