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Watch Have I Got News for You, Season 72 Episode 3 on Dailymotion (2026).
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00:35Good evening and welcome to Have I Got News For You, I'm Jason Manford.
00:39In the news this week, as he leaves an informal weekend strategy meeting
00:43at Louise Hague's house, Chancellor John Healey says he doesn't need a taxi
00:46he can make his own way back.
00:48Oh, we're not doing that.
00:56Returning from holiday, Princess Charlotte regrets letting Camilla
00:59look after her pet budgie.
01:08And in the White House, after several hours, Donald Trump's proctologist
01:12completes a gruelling examination.
01:21On Ian's team tonight is a journalist and broadcaster whose new one-woman show
01:27recalls a difficult time blighted by hostile silences, terrible food
01:31and having to use an outside toilet.
01:33Other than that, she loves being on Loose Women.
01:41And on Paul's team is a stand-up comedian who has appeared on both
01:45Celebrity Masterchef and Celebrity SAS Who Dares Wins, where she picked up
01:49the necessary self-defence skills that any woman needs when cooking for
01:53Greg Wallis.
01:53Please welcome Chloe Lyons!
01:56APPLAUSE
02:00We begin with the bigger news stories of the week.
02:03Ian and Janet, here's yours.
02:05Er, that's YMCA, one of them.
02:09This is Trump's deal, which he conducted inside his own head and decided to allow the
02:17Russians to sell oil, which is meant to be sanctioned, to the US in the middle
02:24of the war.
02:24He's announced an agreement to buy 1.8 million metric tonnes of Russian
02:29diesel.
02:30What else does Trump claim to be getting from the Russian deal?
02:32Well, you'd better check with the lawyers on that.
02:36LAUGHTER
02:37Oh, yeah!
02:38Ian, take a chance!
02:40LAUGHTER
02:41Come on!
02:43LAUGHTER
02:44According to Trump, he said he'd got a deal between Russia and the
02:49Ukraine.
02:49Yes.
02:50The president of Ukraine hadn't heard of this, and the deal involved
02:55only lifting sanctions on Russia.
02:57So it's not really a deal, it's a deal between Trump and Putin.
03:00An energy ceasefire.
03:01An energy ceasefire.
03:03Yeah.
03:03And neither side kept it immediately.
03:05Well, straight away, the Russians bombed the Ukrainian grid,
03:08and then he just complained about Zelensky and said,
03:10we need a new president, you know, which a lot of people in the US
03:14thought, ah, yes.
03:16LAUGHTER
03:17I think he's trying to make people think there's a crisis in oil
03:22prices in America, it's the fault of Zelensky.
03:26Right.
03:26It's actually a problem in the fact there's no oil due to a war in
03:29Iran, started by...
03:32LAUGHTER
03:32Oh, yes, President Trump.
03:34Yeah.
03:34I mean, that is the real reason.
03:36But, I mean, it obviously affects us as well in this country.
03:38I filled up my car the other day.
03:39I...
03:40Ooh, all right, money bags.
03:42It's not worth double what it was before.
03:44It's not worth...
03:45It literally doubled the value of the vehicle.
03:47It did.
03:48LAUGHTER
03:49What's the latest thing Trump wants to rename?
03:52Oh, the Atlantic Ocean.
03:55I mean...
03:55It's true.
03:56Any other time, that would get like a laugh.
03:58Oh, what a stupid answer.
03:59That's the exact answer.
04:00LAUGHTER
04:01Yeah, that's right, let's have a look.
04:03So, if you think about it, we have a gulf and we have a lake.
04:09Now, all we need is an ocean.
04:11So, maybe we'll have to change the name of the Atlantic
04:13and or the Pacific.
04:14Maybe we'll change them both.
04:17LAUGHTER
04:20But he's busy watching people being executed live.
04:24Oh, they're not going to show it live.
04:25I think he's in a wheelchair, this bloke,
04:26so they were going to give him an electric chair,
04:28but then he thought, no, get miles away before we catch up with him.
04:30LAUGHTER
04:37What has Russia been accused of doing to unsettle politicians in Finland?
04:42Something to do with artificial intelligence,
04:44something to do with fake video, something like that.
04:46Do you know what, I wish it was that clever, yeah?
04:48Oh.
04:48According to The Telegraph, Russia has been accused
04:50of intimidating Finnish politicians
04:51by sending secret agents to defecate in the lavatory...
04:54Oh!
04:55..of Finnish MPs.
04:56What?
04:56What, in their homes?
04:57Yeah.
04:58Oh, yeah, yeah.
04:58What, break in?
04:59Do a dump?
05:00But they're not taking it all the way, are they?
05:02Yeah, they break into the homes and then have a shit in the toilet.
05:04Right.
05:05I mean, what's wrong with the bread bin?
05:08LAUGHTER
05:08Oh, my God.
05:09Some people come home and say,
05:10oh, I don't remember that, never mind.
05:12Yeah.
05:13It's intimidating, is it?
05:14You're pulling a face there, here.
05:15Have you experienced this?
05:17LAUGHTER
05:18Right, back to Trump while we're talking.
05:20He's got a new spokesperson.
05:21Oh, yeah.
05:22He has.
05:23Oh, yeah.
05:23She looks exactly like all the others.
05:26Mm.
05:26Katie Zakaria.
05:27I don't know if you've ever seen someone lose confidence
05:30in what they're saying halfway through a sentence.
05:32Have a look at this.
05:33He had a historic one-day war, and now we have a booming economy
05:37and a great relationship with Venezuela.
05:43LAUGHTER
05:46Oh, my God.
05:48The journalist kept asking her where she did the bar,
05:51and she said, in China.
05:53LAUGHTER
05:54So, she's got the first Timu lawyer certificate.
05:57That's what this is.
05:59LAUGHTER
06:00Trump appointed the ambassador to Greece, a woman,
06:04and there's been all sorts of scandals about her.
06:07Oh, yeah. She's amazing.
06:07She was accused of asking someone to loan her money to pay her debts.
06:12That's right.
06:12So, she's had to be recalled.
06:14Kimberly Guilfoyle is who you're talking about.
06:16This is her.
06:17Ladies and gentlemen,
06:19leaders and fighters for freedom and liberty
06:22and the American dream,
06:24the best is yet to come.
06:29But they're nothing.
06:31Absolutely nothing.
06:33Just a Magadona to pay off her $100,000 credit card bill.
06:37She was texting him all the time asking for it.
06:40The Wall Street Journal said that they wouldn't pay off
06:42because Guilfoyle didn't help him with a series of issues,
06:45which were resolving legal issues with his tax,
06:48getting him on Tucker Carlson's podcast,
06:51and, worst of all,
06:53not passing on a song he'd written to Kid Rock.
06:56LAUGHTER
06:56Fair enough.
06:57Yeah!
06:58Fair enough.
06:59What is Trump allegedly offering anyone
07:01who gives him $100,000?
07:04Advanced Notice.
07:05He has a platform called Truth Social.
07:09Right.
07:10In which he announces everything on that.
07:12And if you pay more money,
07:13you can get an early announcement on that.
07:16Yeah.
07:17And people are speculating,
07:18well, is that insider dealing?
07:20And if you're part of Putin's camp,
07:21you get told even earlier than that what Trump...
07:23LAUGHTER
07:24If you're part of Putin's camp,
07:25you know already,
07:26cos it's your idea.
07:28LAUGHTER
07:29In fairness to the Republicans,
07:31we should also point out
07:32that the Democrats are also equally impressive.
07:35Here's District Council candidate Jamie West
07:37after reportedly having a couple of drinks
07:40before an interview.
07:41Would you like to share with us a little bit about yourself
07:43and read your opening statement?
07:45OK, I didn't write one,
07:47so I'm just gonna read it,
07:50just say it out loud,
07:52like, from my heart?
07:53Perfect.
07:53OK.
07:53We didn't have to face your elected leaders
07:59face-to-face.
08:00It's scary alone.
08:02I need help, you know?
08:05Just a few last words to, um, to the voters.
08:11We have guns, too.
08:14LAUGHTER
08:14All right.
08:18LAUGHTER
08:19LAUGHTER
08:22There's no hope.
08:23This is Donald Trump's desperate deal
08:26to buy Russian diesel.
08:28Ukraine have successfully blown up
08:30some databases belonging to Russia's version
08:31of Google, Yandex.
08:33It's very popular among Russians,
08:35with recent searches including,
08:37what is plague?
08:39LAUGHTER
08:39How do I avoid conscription?
08:42And how secure is my top-floor window?
08:45LAUGHTER
08:47Meanwhile, Russian security forces
08:49have been carrying out psychological warfare
08:51against Finnish politicians.
08:53Techniques pioneered by the KGB include
08:55getting into your house,
08:57not flushing the toilet
08:58and moving things around
08:59so you can't find them.
09:00Hang on.
09:01Have my kids been trained by the KGB?
09:04LAUGHTER
09:06Paul and Zoe, here's yours.
09:07Yeah.
09:09Andy Burnham, Prime Minister.
09:10This must be about Manchester City.
09:12Oh, that's catapult technique.
09:14Yeah.
09:14I think they're using.
09:15You'd be surprised how often that turns up in a game.
09:17Yeah.
09:18Andy Burnham, yeah, so this is his links
09:20or his friendship with the people that own Manchester City
09:23over the years.
09:24They're trying to build a sort of scandal around this,
09:26but I'm not sure there is a scandal.
09:27The story is basically that the Prime Minister came in and said
09:31there's an economic miracle in Manchester is extraordinary.
09:34It's a new form of sort of capital O socialism
09:36in which I've reinvigorated this city.
09:39Mm.
09:39And it seems to involve people coming in with enormous suitcases
09:43full of money and saying, would you like it?
09:45Which is a perfectly reasonable economic model.
09:47Yeah.
09:48But it's not quite the same.
09:50I think that's the interest.
09:51This is what he said after Man City had been found guilty of 114 charges.
09:56I would be really concerned to lose them, the owners.
09:59They've been such a huge partner in the building of modern Manchester,
10:02it would be wrong, I think, to jump to a conclusion
10:04without having studied all of the detail,
10:06which was two days after they'd been found actually guilty.
10:09Yeah.
10:13Ian, is this equivalent of Tony Blair's Bernie Eccleston moment
10:16or Keir Starmer's free glasses?
10:18I mean, I think it's the first early setback.
10:20Mm.
10:20He was over-defensive.
10:22Mm.
10:22And also, it just felt like, here's a man just talking off the top
10:25of his head.
10:26You're Prime Minister.
10:27Yeah, it was waffle.
10:28Right.
10:28Let's be brutal about it.
10:29It was a waffly answer.
10:31And it follows from his two big initiatives,
10:34why not bring back drinking on the terraces
10:37and let's make a big thing about pork scratchings in pubs.
10:41I'd just like to point out that 50% of the population are female
10:44and those aren't necessarily our priorities.
10:47Fair enough.
10:48Fair enough.
10:49Yeah.
10:49There you go.
10:50I do love a pork scratch.
10:53No, Dan said it.
10:55Women are not allowed them.
10:56OK?
10:57You're a Manchester City fan, aren't you?
10:58I am a Man City fan, yeah.
11:00Yeah, so how do you feel about all this?
11:01This is pretty grim stuff.
11:02Yeah, I mean, it's an odd thing.
11:04As a football fan, you support the team, don't you?
11:06And you've always supported it.
11:07Yeah, you do.
11:07It's tribal.
11:08Yeah, Ian knows.
11:12No, it is tricky though, isn't it?
11:14Because you obviously, you know, Manchester City went for a long period
11:16where they weren't doing very well.
11:17Then, by having far more money than anybody else,
11:20you've bought the best players.
11:21Well, we spent the same amount of money as Manchester United
11:24and they're shit.
11:25Yes.
11:25Oh, yeah.
11:27Yeah, I mean, I was surprised, really, the last couple of games.
11:30I mean, you know, against Liverpool's fans.
11:33I mean, PSG, I thought, what's happening?
11:35The first half, they're all over them.
11:38Are we on match of the day?
11:39What's going on here?
11:40I didn't know Ian was a football fan.
11:41Do you think Bert Troutman should still be in goal?
11:45What will happen to Man City then?
11:47Will they have to sort of strip the cupboards bare?
11:49I think what they should do is just be a bit more imaginative
11:51with their punishment.
11:52So, like, you know, I think maybe we have to play with nine
11:55professionals and then they pick two players from the supporters
11:58at random.
11:59Yes.
12:00Only allow them to travel using the rules from Race Across the World.
12:04Yes.
12:06Staying with the so-called beautiful game, FIFA boss Gianni Infantino
12:10is still in his job.
12:12But what did we learn about him this week to endear him even more?
12:16Was he really shocked by the allegations of corruption in football?
12:20Infantino has been getting an extra salary.
12:22One from FIFA of nearly £4 million.
12:25One from World Cup USA organising company of £1.3 million.
12:30Oh, my...
12:31I know.
12:32Well, those inaugural FIFA peace medals don't come cheap.
12:37LAUGHTER
12:38He's currently under investigation for financial misconduct.
12:40He's got a lot of questions to answer, including where did he get
12:44these lovely earrings?
12:45That's all I want to know.
12:46LAUGHTER
12:51And he's given a pair to his auntie behind him as well.
12:54LAUGHTER
12:55Back to Andy Burnham.
12:57Yes.
12:57He also got into a bit of hot water over declaring what about Brexit?
13:01Oh, he said the Russians were involved, didn't they?
13:03He said that they'd swayed the Brexit vote.
13:06And the head of MI5 said they...
13:09The Russians had attempted to sway the Brexit.
13:11Yes.
13:11But the British people had, you know, voted that way themselves.
13:16Yes.
13:17Yes.
13:18The argument was not over whether they'd tried,
13:21because obviously the Russians had tried.
13:23Yeah.
13:23But we have our own bots, Bottis Johnson.
13:28LAUGHTER
13:29And then, of course, Andy Burnham went on and said that now
13:33he thinks that renegotiating the terms of Brexit is a jolly good thing.
13:39And I think the climate has changed, because now nearly everyone
13:42in Europe is far right.
13:43It could be time for reform to go full on.
13:46LAUGHTER
13:46And have us join again.
13:49LAUGHTER
13:55That's actually the name of their party.
13:59REFORM.
13:59REFORM.
14:01Meanwhile, the government have come out and said that
14:04Iranians were almost certainly behind the mysterious goings-on
14:08at RAF Fairford.
14:10So how did Foreign Secretary Ed Miliband show how angry he was
14:13with the Iranian Foreign Minister?
14:16Did he punch him?
14:17LAUGHTER
14:18He was going to, but then his hand just went and he shook it.
14:21Mm.
14:22Yeah, here he is.
14:23But look how angry he is.
14:24Oh!
14:25LAUGHTER
14:26It's like me at the age of 18.
14:27I thought he said there'd be women at this party.
14:30LAUGHTER
14:31I've always thought he looks like Wallace and Gromit together.
14:34Yes.
14:35LAUGHTER
14:36Yes.
14:37Asked what had possessed him to shake hands with such a hardline
14:40fanatic.
14:41Abbas Arachi said he didn't want to be rude.
14:44LAUGHTER
14:46Early release of prisoners, how's that policy going?
14:48Well, one man was released and then immediately started
14:51shoplifting straight away, like the second day.
14:54That's right.
14:54Michael Bogle immediately committed 11 crimes in five days.
14:59LAUGHTER
15:00I've often thought, as a parent, when I'm really knackered,
15:03I've often thought to myself, I wonder if there's like a low-level
15:05crime that doesn't affect my reputation that I could just get
15:08locked up for for a couple of weeks.
15:10LAUGHTER
15:10Just for the sleep, lights off, thank God.
15:13You know what I mean?
15:13Just have a full sleep, you know, access to a gym,
15:16lots of fellas to chat to.
15:18LAUGHTER
15:19Reform have slipped in the polls behind the Conservatives,
15:22so what have they done to grab attention?
15:24Well, ITV secretly found three reform counsellors
15:30who were really spouting off a most appalling racist build.
15:33Mm-hm.
15:33And it was really shocking because there are only three of them.
15:36Yeah.
15:38LAUGHTER
15:38That's not what they did to grab attention.
15:41They staged a press conference next to a super inflatable boat.
15:45I think it looks like a massive black pudding.
15:48Oh, yes!
15:49I don't think reform would go for a pudding that was black, do you?
15:52LAUGHTER
15:53I can't see them doing that.
15:55Well, you can get more people in that boat than you can get in their audience.
15:58Look at that!
15:59LAUGHTER
16:01APPLAUSE
16:04Has anybody watched the Lee Anderson show?
16:06Oh, God!
16:07Yeah, there's the Lee Anderson show.
16:08Oh, yeah, it's like Graeme Norton.
16:11LAUGHTER
16:12It's on GB News.
16:14Yes, it would be.
16:15LAUGHTER
16:16They were discussing the triple lock on pensions.
16:19Have a look at this.
16:20I'm old school and I think that we should respect our elderly people.
16:22I don't think we should have people huddled under blankets to try and keep warm.
16:25Some of them fought in the war for this country.
16:28Did they have?
16:28And I will fight to the death to defend...
16:30Did they have?
16:31Of course they did.
16:31People in their 70s and 80s and 90s.
16:33What, they fought in the Second World War?
16:36LAUGHTER
16:37Actually...
16:38Actually...
16:38Guys, guys!
16:40LAUGHTER
16:44I'm 79 and I didn't fight in war, I was born in 1946.
16:47Exactly.
16:47Shurker.
16:48Yeah.
16:50LAUGHTER
16:50Does anyone want to see a picture of a semi-naked man?
16:53No, thank you.
16:54Oh, yes, you do.
16:54OK, I'll go with the majority.
16:57Oh!
16:57Oh!
16:59Auditions for James Bond are going well.
17:02LAUGHTER
17:03Do you think he's got a dad bod?
17:04Do you know what?
17:05I was looking at that picture thinking, when I'm his age, I'd be happy with that.
17:08Mmm!
17:09Oi, would you like it to be sent round to your house?
17:12LAUGHTER
17:14Delivery!
17:16Put him round the back of the bins, I'll see him in an hour.
17:20It was David Cameron's big 60th birthday and guests included Gordon Ramsay and Jeremy Clarkson.
17:26Oh, wow.
17:26They went surfing the next day.
17:28You must have fancied that, Zoe.
17:29Oh, that's bang up my street, isn't it?
17:31They're your people.
17:31They're my people.
17:32Me, Gordon Ramsay.
17:34Jeremy Clarkson.
17:36David Cameron and a middle-aged lesbian go wild in Cornwall.
17:40LAUGHTER
17:41The book Enid Blyton never wrote.
17:42Yeah.
17:44Tell you what, we've had some sexy Prime Ministers, haven't we?
17:47Yeah, we have, haven't we?
17:48We've had Lord Palmerston.
17:49Woo-hoo!
17:52Get that powdered wig off, mate.
17:53I'll have the britches, thank you!
17:55Woo-hoo!
17:57I haven't seen you so excited.
18:01Chance to get my inner feelings out.
18:03Would you like to play a game of who's the hottest?
18:06Yes.
18:06Yeah.
18:06Why not?
18:07So, we had Cameron.
18:08We've seen Cameron, we've seen enough of that.
18:09Let's put him against Blair.
18:11What do we think?
18:12Oh!
18:13What do you think there?
18:14Is Tal's hiding weapons of master structure?
18:16Yes.
18:17LAUGHTER
18:20Tony Blair's the hottest.
18:22Good.
18:22What about Rishi Sunak?
18:25Oh, yeah.
18:26No, definitely.
18:27He's pocket-sized though, isn't he?
18:29Is he?
18:33Well, without being rude, it depends how deep your pocket is, doesn't it?
18:37LAUGHTER
18:38And his pockets are really deep.
18:40Yeah.
18:40Very well.
18:41Let's go for our next one.
18:42What about the Blondadonnis?
18:44Oh!
18:46Oh, don't make me feel ill.
18:48Oh, that's funny.
18:49Do you mind moving, sir?
18:50The tide wants to come in.
18:52LAUGHTER
18:58Lord Palmerston's the hottest, but, well, you probably haven't got him as a photo.
19:01Of course we have.
19:13Take it away, take it away.
19:17This is Andy Burnham's complicated links with Manchester City.
19:21It's been reported that Andy Burnham accepted tickets at the Etihad
19:24to see Manchester City and Ed Sheeran,
19:26which sounds like a one-sided game if you ask me.
19:29Especially with Macklemore being suspended.
19:32LAUGHTER
19:33Following the scandal, the i newspaper understands that Andy Burnham
19:36has now abandoned plans to build Number 10 North on land owned
19:40by the United Arab Emirates, which is probably for the best,
19:43because that's shaky ground.
19:45LAUGHTER
19:51We arrive at round two, the crystal ball of news.
19:57That's right.
19:58I'm going to stare into my crystal ball.
20:01The mist will clear and a clue to a story will appear.
20:04Buzz in when you know what it is.
20:11BUZZ
20:12This is a cyber attack on French supermarkets.
20:15Right.
20:16Yeah.
20:17All the fridges stopped working and everything melted.
20:21The hackers got into the software...
20:23Oh, they made them really hot.
20:24That's right, yeah.
20:25They put...
20:2650 degrees centigrade.
20:27Yeah.
20:27The shelves were filled with runny, melted cheese.
20:30And then the hackers struck.
20:32LAUGHTER
20:34How widespread was the attack?
20:36All the layers of the fridge.
20:39LAUGHTER
20:39So it was every major superstore.
20:43Yeah, pretty much, yeah.
20:43According to the Independent, hundreds of French stores were targeted,
20:46resulted in millions of euros worth of spoiled meat,
20:49dairy and frozen items.
20:51There was an absolute terrible stench coming from the fridges.
20:53And then the hackers struck.
20:54Just struck.
20:56LAUGHTER
20:58Who's to blame?
20:59Oh, Russians, obviously.
21:01You reckon it's the Russians again?
21:02We don't really know yet.
21:03No, the hackers haven't been identified.
21:05It could be M&S.
21:06Well, no.
21:08Could it happen here in the UK?
21:10Have we got intelligent fridges?
21:11You can, like, text your fridge now, can't it?
21:13It tells you all you need.
21:14Yeah, it texts you, it says you need milk.
21:15Well, we've certainly got cars that tell us everything now.
21:18We've got nanny cars, haven't we?
21:20You get in the car and it says,
21:21I've got one of those cars that if you stop looking ahead for one nanosecond,
21:25it goes, look ahead, look ahead, look ahead.
21:28Eyes on the road, eyes on the road.
21:30In other news, why have a quarter of a million French people
21:32been out on the streets recently?
21:34It was a lovely afternoon.
21:37LAUGHTER
21:37Now, they've been protesting about the schools.
21:39Yeah.
21:39They're really underfunded and falling down and they're leaks
21:43and they weren't replacing any of the teachers.
21:45Which in Britain is called school.
21:48LAUGHTER
21:49Someone who might come in handy during the riots
21:52is a French TV host Cyril Hanouna.
21:54He was challenged to box against some robot children on TV recently.
22:02LAUGHTER
22:19We had a gym teacher like that.
22:24I've got a feeling when AI does take over,
22:26he's up shit street then, isn't he?
22:29He's the first on the list, that fella.
22:31They've just found that AI can solve a lot of the problems of mathematics.
22:36But you dig a bit deeper and the story is that mathematicians,
22:38humans have come to this point, that AI has just stolen all their work.
22:42Right.
22:43And then said, we've solved the problem.
22:45And you think, no, you haven't.
22:46Humanity has solved the problem, you've stolen it,
22:48and you'll probably lend it back to us for a huge sum of money
22:51and give it all to Bezos.
22:53LAUGHTER
22:54Or Sam Altman, Zuckerberg, Elon Musk.
22:57That's all the tech bros.
22:58A list of people who've stolen human knowledge.
23:01LAUGHTER
23:01Well, they didn't get any from me.
23:02Yeah.
23:05LAUGHTER
23:10Time now for the odd one-out round, just one between you this week.
23:15Your four are Ian Wright, Alexander Skarsgård,
23:19Polly McClellan from Cambridgeshire and Vladimir Putin.
23:22I know that Polly...
23:24Yeah.
23:24Dressed up as a Dalek.
23:26Was that on these women?
23:27No.
23:29Polly was in the news because she dressed up as a Dalek
23:32to entertain people in some kind of old people's club in Cambridgeshire.
23:35Oh, that was tactful. Exterminate.
23:39LAUGHTER
23:41To be honest, love, we'd rather see the doctor.
23:49I'm wondering if it's not some kind of costumey...
23:53Ian Wright wore a beret.
23:55Yeah.
23:56Do you think that Putin doesn't...
23:58He does wear costumes, but his costumes are stripping off?
24:02No.
24:03Oh.
24:04They've all made questionable fashion choices,
24:07apart from Polly McClellan,
24:08whose fashion choices were cheering up the elderly.
24:11As you know, she's been dressed as a Dalek.
24:13We've got a little video of her in action.
24:34If you're in that care home and that turns up...
24:38LAUGHTER
24:39When your family comes to visit, you go to tell them, you're like,
24:41he's really not well.
24:42Yeah.
24:44As Ian said, Ian Wright wore a beret.
24:48Does it remind you of anybody? Here he is.
24:50Presumably it'll be Michael Crawford, is it?
24:52Yeah, here we are.
24:54LAUGHTER
24:56Ooh, Betty, the right back stood a whoopsie.
24:59LAUGHTER
24:59There's one for the teenagers.
25:02LAUGHTER
25:02I think Ian Wright's beret is pretty cool, to be honest.
25:05Certainly not as bad as Alexander Skarsgård wearing this on the red carpet
25:09last week, which sent the internet into meltdown.
25:11Look at these.
25:15See-through shoes.
25:17Oh, the shoes?
25:18Oh!
25:19Which Entertainment Weekly described as the perfect swamp conditions
25:23for athletes.
25:25LAUGHTER
25:26What's Putin's fashion choice?
25:28Putin decided to wear this navy uniform.
25:32Wow.
25:32Oh, yeah.
25:33Which commentators said made him look a little bit like Gordon Tracy
25:35from the...
25:36LAUGHTER
25:39International Rescue.
25:41They've all made questionable fashion choices,
25:43apart from Polly McClellan, whose fashion choices
25:46are cheering up pensioners.
25:48Here's Polly dressed as a Dalek.
25:50A compelling reason why the triple lock should remain
25:53on Polly's fancy dress cupboard.
25:55LAUGHTER
25:56Time now for the missing words round, which this week features,
26:00as its guest publication, Forklift Action.
26:03And we start with...
26:07Oh, there's an S missing.
26:08It should be Prince William's spotted behind.
26:11LAUGHTER
26:13Prince William's spotted behind the till in IKEA.
26:16Really?
26:17Yeah, while on a visit to an IKEA, he had a go at work in the till
26:21and it was reported that William had a line of schoolgirls queuing up,
26:24not something every member of his family could be trusting with.
26:26LAUGHTER
26:29Next.
26:29What claims to be a rightful king of England?
26:32Charles, Andrew, me.
26:34LAUGHTER
26:35Is it a forklift truck driver?
26:37It is.
26:39Australian forklift truck driver, no less.
26:41Claims to be a rightful king of England.
26:43I knew it would be.
26:44He wants to be elevated.
26:46LAUGHTER
26:48Finally.
26:49What makes surprise appearance in a raunchy adult film?
26:52Bagpuss.
26:53LAUGHTER
26:54Mother Teresa.
26:55Any guesses, Janet?
26:56Paddington Bear.
26:57No.
26:58I think more of a national treasure than that, I would say.
27:00It's Angela Rippon.
27:01It's not Angela Rippon, no.
27:03Oh, it must be another film.
27:05LAUGHTER
27:07It's me.
27:09I was in a filthy film.
27:10It's Janet Street Porter.
27:12LAUGHTER
27:12Have we got a clip?
27:15LAUGHTER
27:16This is the 60s.
27:16And it was all a bit psychedelic,
27:18and the women were in the backwash
27:20with paper-mache horses' heads on, like you are.
27:24Is that still going?
27:27LAUGHTER
27:28Never met a movie star before.
27:30Yeah.
27:30Oh, shut up.
27:31LAUGHTER
27:33So, the final scores are...
27:35Ian and Janet have eight,
27:37Paul and Zoe have four.
27:39It's a win.
27:40It's a win.
27:40Very good.
27:41You have nine.
27:43Always note, we say thank you to our panellists,
27:45Ian Hislop and Janet Street Porter,
27:47Paul Merton and Zoe Lyons,
27:49and I leave you with news that a Smiths fan
27:51tells another boring story about how he once met Johnny Marth.
27:55LAUGHTER
27:57I reckon it's one of them saying,
27:58do you know who the Prime Minister is?
28:00LAUGHTER
28:01In Washington, one man is embarrassed to be photographed
28:04with a sexual predator...
28:06LAUGHTER
28:08..and there's concern that the waiting list
28:10for an NHS appointment in the Hastings area
28:13is becoming intolerable.
28:16LAUGHTER
28:16LAUGHTER
28:18Good night.
28:33Jimmy McGovern's tough drama Time is back,
28:36David Tennant stars, and you can watch it now on BBC iPlayer.
28:39And there you'll also find weird and wonderful everyday mysteries
28:43explained through science.
28:44Curious Cases with Hannah Fryan.