00:00Oh, hi!
00:01Recording na pala?
00:03Wait, maayos ba buhok ko?
00:05Okay, maganda.
00:08Hey mga kamulto!
00:10It's me, your girl MC White,
00:12Maria Cristina Caperosa.
00:14Nag night out pala sina
00:15Lokring at Chikadora,
00:17kaya ako muna sa vlog tonight.
00:19Good for them.
00:21May social life.
00:23Ako, afterlife.
00:24But we make it work,
00:26sabi ata ni Chikadora.
00:28Origin story ko raw.
00:29I think.
00:31But, before we start,
00:33niligtas nilang dalawa tong balete property ko.
00:36I'm so grateful.
00:38Patay na nga ako,
00:39muntik pang mawala ng address.
00:41Kaya nag-yes ako sa vlog.
00:43Small favor lang naman,
00:45yun pala,
00:46pati emotional damage ko
00:48kasama sa content.
00:49Very generous ako tonight.
00:51So, get comfortable mga kamulto.
00:53May konting romance,
00:55konting betrayal,
00:56at questionable taste in men.
00:57Mine, unfortunately.
00:59Here is my origin story.
01:13Okay, so.
01:151937.
01:16Manila.
01:17Pre-war era.
01:20I was Maria Cristina de la Cruz.
01:23Morena.
01:25Maganda.
01:26Matalino.
01:27And absolutely,
01:30catastrophically,
01:32stupidly in love.
01:35At sobrang dali pa lang kiligin.
01:37Hindi ko yun nilagay sa introduction.
01:39Nakakasira ng credentials.
01:42May nakilala kasi akong lalaki.
01:43Si Antonio.
01:45Antonio Miguel Reyes del Rosario Bautista.
01:48Pangalan pa lang,
01:50nakapagpahinga na kayo sa gitna.
01:52Pero mga kamulto,
01:53ang gwapo.
01:55He was so gwapo.
01:57Like,
01:581930s gwapo.
01:59Pomade hair,
02:00barong Tagalog na laging pressed,
02:02shoes na mas shiny pa sa future ko.
02:04At yung ngiti niya?
02:05Yung tipong ngiti na alam mong may tinatago.
02:08Pero you ignore it kasi ang pogi.
02:10Tale as old as time.
02:12Tale as old as my time.
02:14Literally.
02:151937,
02:16wala pang therapy.
02:17Wala pang girl,
02:18red flag yan.
02:19Wala pang TikTok na mag-e-explain sa'yo
02:21na yung guy na laging busy
02:23ay hindi busy.
02:24Nasa ibang babae lang.
02:27Ay, wait.
02:28Let me set the scene properly.
02:34We met at a fiesta in Quiapo.
02:37I was buying bibingka.
02:39Bibingka lang talaga ang pakay ko.
02:41Mainit na bibingka.
02:43May nyog.
02:43Tahimik na buhay.
02:45Tapos lumapit siya.
02:47Senyorita,
02:48ang ganda ng ngiti mo.
02:51Parang liwanag sa dilim.
02:58Liwanag sa dilim.
03:00Liwanag sa dilim.
03:01I became a creature of the dark for you.
03:04Talk about dramatic irony.
03:05But did I run?
03:06No.
03:08Miss,
03:09ang cute ko.
03:10Ang dali ko rin kiligin.
03:12Top of my class ako nun, ha?
03:13Pero nung ngumiti siya,
03:15nakalimutan kong pwede palang magtanong.
03:17May nililigawan ka na ba?
03:19Mga ganon.
03:21Useful pala yun.
03:22Hindi yung inaalala ko
03:24kung may niyog sa ngipin ko.
03:26May niyog nga.
03:27Sinabi niya lang nung patapos na ang usapan.
03:30At naisip ko pa,
03:31ay,
03:32ang caring.
03:33Girl,
03:34basic information yun.
03:37We courted for six months.
03:41Courted.
03:43Ang fancy, di ba?
03:45Hindi talking stage.
03:48Hindi MU.
03:50Hindi...
03:50Basta,
03:51masaya kami.
03:53Courted.
03:56Courted.
03:57Anim na buwan siyang nanligaw.
03:59May lakad sa tabi ng pasig,
04:01may mga sulat,
04:03may dalaw sa bahay.
04:05Ang saya ko noon,
04:07kahit marinig ko pa lang na may tao sa gate,
04:09inaayos ko na yung buhok ko.
04:11Minsan,
04:12tindero lang pala.
04:13Well?
04:14At least presentable ako sa komunidad.
04:17Ang harana lang,
04:18wala.
04:19Sabi niya,
04:20Maria Cristina,
04:21hindi ako marunong kumanta.
04:23Pero kung kakanta ako,
04:25para sa'yo lang.
04:27Noon,
04:29kilig na kilig ako.
04:31Ngayon,
04:32napapaisip ako,
04:34may narinig ba ako?
04:35Wala.
04:36Wala talaga.
04:39Na in love ako sa kantang hindi naman kinanta.
04:42Ang tahimik ng effort niya.
04:44So hindi siya kumanta.
04:45And I found that romantic?
04:47He would sing for me if he could,
04:49girl.
04:50That's like hypothetical someone saying,
04:51I would buy you a house if I had money.
04:57Pero ito yung maganda sa 1930s love.
05:00Mababa ang standards.
05:01Wala kang comparison.
05:02Walang Instagram na magpapakita sa'yo
05:03ng ibang couple na nag-travel sa Paris.
05:05Walang relationship goals post
05:07na magpapapainsecure sa'yo.
05:08Ang comparison mo lang,
05:10yung kapitbahay mong si Aling Nena
05:11na pinapalo ng asawa.
05:12So kapag yung guy mo hindi ka pinapalo,
05:14wow, jackpot na yun.
05:15Ang mababang bar.
05:17Like, underground ang bar.
05:19Nasa impyerno ang bar.
05:21And Antonio?
05:23He barely cleared it.
05:29So here's where it gets.
05:32Spicy.
05:36Pero bawat dalaw niya,
05:38feeling ko espesyal ako.
05:40Akala ko,
05:41pareho kami ng iniisip na future.
05:45Hindi ko alam na may huling dalaw pala.
05:50Six months into our courtship.
05:54Napansin kong ang tahimik niya.
05:56Hindi niya halos ginalaw yung pagkain.
05:59Hindi rin siya makatingin sa akin.
06:01Sabi ko,
06:02Antonio, may problema ba?
06:05Akala ko may problema lang sa bahay.
06:07Ready pa akong makinig.
06:10Very supportive.
06:13Wala pa akong idea na
06:15ako pala yung pamamaalaman niya.
06:18Baya, Christina.
06:21Hindi na ako makakadalaw.
06:25Bakit?
06:26May nagawa ba ako?
06:28Wala.
06:29Wala kang kasalanan.
06:34Si Dolores ang pakakasalan ko.
06:36Her name?
06:38Dolores.
06:39Even her name means pain.
06:40If that's not a sign from God,
06:42I don't know what is.
06:43Ang pangalan na lang sinasabi na sa'yo,
06:45Ate Arayto.
06:47And you know what's worse?
06:48Alam ng buong baryo.
06:50Everyone knew.
06:51Yung tindero sa kanto,
06:53alam.
06:54Yung pari sa simbahan,
06:56alam.
06:57Yung kalabaw ni Mang Tomas,
06:59I swear that kalabaw looked at me with pity one time.
07:03A kalabaw.
07:04Felt sorry for me.
07:05Girl,
07:07si Dolores.
07:09Pero,
07:10akala ko,
07:11ako ang mahal mo.
07:13Wala nang patutunguhan to.
07:20Pagkaalis niya,
07:22tumayo lang ako at naglakad.
07:24Wala akong maisip na pupuntahan.
07:27Gusto ko lang munang makalayo.
07:30Naka-white ako kasi may despedida dapat akong pupuntahan.
07:34Hindi ko alam,
07:36ibang paalam pala ang naghihintay.
07:38Hindi ko na maalala nang malinaw yung sumunod.
07:41Naglalakad pa ako.
07:43Tapos,
07:43wala na.
07:45Parang may bahaging na bura.
07:48Pagmulat ko,
07:49nandun pa rin ako.
07:51Sa Balete Drive.
07:53Naka-white pa rin.
07:54Pero may kakaiba.
07:56Wala na akong marinig na tibok.
07:59And then I was here.
08:01Still on Balete Drive.
08:04Still in white.
08:05Still waiting for something.
08:09For 87 years,
08:11I thought I was waiting for Antonio.
08:12That I needed him to apologize.
08:14Or come back,
08:16or at least acknowledge what he did.
08:18I haunted that street,
08:20thinking every car,
08:21every person,
08:22every shadow
08:23might be him
08:23finally coming to say sorry.
08:26He never came.
08:28I spent my whole life,
08:30my whole actual life,
08:32all 22 years of it,
08:34waiting for someone else
08:35to make me feel complete.
08:38To make me feel like enough.
08:41And then I spent my whole death
08:44doing the same thing.
08:46Ang tagal kong naghahanap ng closure,
08:48sa taong hindi naman pala ang sagot.
08:51Yung sagot,
08:52nasa akin na pala the whole time.
08:55Sa loob ng multo kong may trust issues,
08:58at vintage nightgown.
09:28Thank you for watching,
09:29The giving too much to someone
09:32who gave you hypothetical serenades
09:35and nothing else,
09:38just no.
09:39You are enough.
09:41Alive or dead.
09:44Corporal or incorporeal.
09:47You are enough.
09:49Unless you're Antonio,
09:51then hindi ka enough.
09:53Never kang naging enough.
09:54At yung buhok mong nakapumada,
09:57ang lagkit tingnan.
09:59Oh be,
10:01annyari?
10:02Bakit G na G?
10:04Uma Antonio na naman yan siya.
