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✨Ryan and Carsen were just best friends, until one fateful night blurred all the lines. When Carsen leaves to pursue his NFL dreams, Ryan makes a heart-wrenching choice to face her surprise pregnancy alone so she won't ruin his future. Get ready for an emotional journey of love, sacrifice, and a heartwarming reunion! 🍼❤️

⭐GENRE: Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Campus Lovers, Jock
👫Cast: Talia Wynzel
文字稿
00:00:05I
00:00:06What the hell? I
00:00:08Thought you liked me
00:00:09But you wanted this you thought wrong. I could never be with a loser like you
00:00:15Bullshit. I have known you since we were seven. I know when you're lying. You don't know me. I
00:00:21Want to be with a real star. That's that's Jonah
00:00:25You'll never be half the man or athlete that he is
00:00:32I
00:00:32Can see you know, I thought you cared about me
00:00:36I guess I had your back room
00:00:39I
00:00:42Didn't think you had that kind of spice in your collards. Yeah, where were we?
00:00:49Oh, what the fuck? Wait a minute. Are the rumors true? Are you actually pregnant?
00:00:56Oh
00:00:58You're trying to fuck me and baby trap me
00:01:00You trashy psycho bitch
00:01:03Carson's dodged a bomb
00:01:09That day
00:01:11My final act of love for my best friend
00:01:14Was convincing him I hated him
00:01:17So he'd never come looking for me again
00:01:20But I was wrong about how stubborn Carson Blake could be
00:01:31Oh
00:01:31Let me in please
00:01:33Carson
00:01:34Drunk on a Monday night
00:01:37God
00:01:38Seriously, how do you want?
00:01:51Yeah
00:01:52What the hell?
00:01:54Put that away
00:01:55I don't want to see my best friends
00:01:57You know
00:01:58What?
00:01:59Carson?
00:02:00Baby?
00:02:01Where are you?
00:02:03Call the horse, call the horse
00:02:04Yeah
00:02:05No, it's okay
00:02:06No, don't
00:02:06Why are you invoking the secret life or death code word on your girlfriend?
00:02:14You know that's actually for like, life or death situations
00:02:17Ex-girlfriend and this is serious, we're going to strip your opinion that you freaking ambushed on me
00:02:22You know how I get when we don't fuck
00:02:29Open this door now, do not keep your girlfriend waiting
00:02:51I swear to god, I will wake everyone in this entire fucking building up
00:03:02Oh
00:03:05Hi Lily
00:03:07My boyfriend better not be in your cave, you nasty little troll
00:03:11I could have sworn I heard Carson's voice in here
00:03:15He's, he's oral, over at his house
00:03:20Are you having a stroke?
00:03:22Why so nervous, Collins?
00:03:24Could it be that you...
00:03:27Um, uh, I was talking to him on FaceTime
00:03:31And it was on speakerphone, that's probably why you heard him
00:03:35He was saying how he can't wait to have the se- have sex
00:03:41Have sex with you
00:03:44Glad you know your place, bitch
00:03:49I just hope you know that he's doing charity work by being friends with you
00:03:56You might just be the worst liar I've ever had the privilege of relying on
00:04:01Or under, I mean
00:04:03Get out, get out, get out
00:04:07Uh, you know, I still don't know why you...
00:04:13Since when have I, your best friend of a million years ever made you nervous
00:04:17You barely made it through that
00:04:22Hey!
00:04:23That's my...
00:04:23I put my...
00:04:24I put my belt on that
00:04:26I...
00:04:27I...
00:04:27Just...
00:04:28Put this on
00:04:35I got this
00:04:37Damn, he looks hot in those
00:04:41Well, it, uh, it worked, didn't it?
00:04:44You're welcome
00:04:45Yes, you're amazing
00:04:46I'm Tom
00:04:52Oh, God, I...
00:04:57I can't believe I just saw my first penis
00:05:00It was yours
00:05:04Thoughts?
00:05:05Because personally, I enjoyed what I saw down in your penis
00:05:09Carson, did you...
00:05:10Did you really just say that?
00:05:12Ryan
00:05:14Come on
00:05:15Answer
00:05:16Or...
00:05:17Or you can just tell me to leave
00:05:18But you're not exactly doing that either
00:05:21It...
00:05:21It's...
00:05:23It's...
00:05:23Leave
00:05:24And you need to...
00:05:25Nice
00:05:28It's...
00:05:28Nice
00:05:29And you need to leave
00:05:30So you think it's nice
00:05:33Ryan Collins, that is...
00:05:35Bold
00:05:35You just admitted that my penis is nice
00:05:38Shut up
00:05:41Just to be clear
00:05:43You want me to leave
00:05:45Even though you think
00:05:46That I am being very nice
00:05:50Stop
00:05:51Oh, God
00:05:52You look beautiful
00:05:55You want me to leave
00:06:02No...
00:06:09You're not shy
00:06:09You're not shy
00:06:10You're not shy
00:06:10You're not shy
00:06:11You're not shy
00:06:11You're insane
00:06:24of course we we can't why not because you're you're a little drunk and you're hiding from
00:06:34your evil psycho baby ex-girlfriend and you're a big football star and i'm just your dorky best
00:06:40friend and there's no way that you seriously want me i like you gonz i'm very serious about how much
00:06:47i
00:06:47like you have you ever wondered what it would feel like if there's something more only every day since
00:06:57i was seven i've even thought about him being my first but i never thought it could actually happen
00:07:04maybe
00:07:20holy shit gonz i can't believe you've been hiding this from me
00:07:38i've never done this before i know
00:07:44i promise i'll take care of you
00:08:12did i really just lose my virginity to my best friend?
00:08:21how'd you run to practice? come find me on the field later tonight?
00:08:30i've loved carson as long as i can remember does last night mean he feels the same after the semester
00:08:39he leaves for the most elite training camp
00:08:41if you want something more he's probably gonna ask now
00:08:58so about last night? oh god does he regret it? yeah about last night look if if you think it
00:09:08was a mistake
00:09:09mistake
00:09:11wrong as you can never be mistake
00:09:13well you were you were really drunk and it's probably obvious that i've
00:09:18liked you forever and i just didn't know if you want to be more than this
00:09:25what did you just say?
00:09:27i said i want to be more than friends
00:09:30i like you
00:09:31i like you
00:09:32gonz
00:09:32for real
00:09:34i like you too gonz
00:09:36i just
00:09:38what if this changes things between us?
00:09:41i don't want to lose my best friend
00:09:43mom
00:09:45mom we've still got a few months since always
00:09:48okay
00:09:50we can take it slow
00:10:07i've wanted him since forever
00:10:09and now he's finally mine
00:10:14so what your period three weeks late and you've been throwing up every day
00:10:18that doesn't mean jack squat
00:10:24positive
00:10:29how am i supposed to tell my best friend that i'm pregnant with his baby?
00:10:34i don't know
00:10:36but you have to right? he's leaving soon
00:10:51dude
00:10:52dude
00:10:53it's so obvious that you're with for ryan
00:10:55since the moment that we were kids on a playground man
00:10:59you know i guess i just never really thought that you'd feel the same way about a dumb jock
00:11:04thank you
00:11:05thank you
00:11:07i know i have to leave sooner than i thought but
00:11:09am i going away party? i'm gonna finally ask her
00:11:13she needs to know how bad i want this
00:11:24watch it go, ugh you can't even walk straight
00:11:31no
00:11:33ow
00:11:34ow
00:11:35ow
00:11:38oh my god
00:11:40ryan the troll might actually be pregnant
00:11:43aww but who's gonna guard the bridge?
00:11:46pregnant?
00:11:47someone actually put their dick in that?
00:11:49did he have to wear a blindfold or a paper bag?
00:11:53give that back
00:11:54i will
00:11:55when you tell me who your baby daddy is
00:11:57i can't tell her the baby's carson's
00:12:00her ex
00:12:01she would kill me
00:12:05oh my god
00:12:07you don't even remember?
00:12:08you're such a slut
00:12:09you
00:12:11i'm gonna call you
00:12:12gana ryan
00:12:15maybe you should get tested for std's trish
00:12:18it's one test you'll actually pass
00:12:23for somebody who dresses like a fugly amish bitch
00:12:26but probably has the body count of a stripper
00:12:28i've got some girls
00:12:29expose her lily
00:12:31let's show everyone what ryan's got for sale
00:12:36ow
00:12:40not much
00:12:42oh but don't worry
00:12:43maybe this little guy can make you some cash
00:12:46ew
00:12:47ew
00:12:47so trashy
00:12:50aww are you crying?
00:12:52is it cause your bestie carson isn't here to save you?
00:12:55well newsflash
00:12:56he's moving across the country to be an nfl star
00:12:59what? no
00:13:01no he's staying right here in north cordon
00:13:04oh
00:13:05you don't know
00:13:06he's training with the nfl champions
00:13:08he's gonna be gone
00:13:09the whole fall semester
00:13:11and the whole summer
00:13:12i bet he's so excited to finally get away from this whale
00:13:15she just sucks up all the air
00:13:17daddy
00:13:20guys like him don't need deadweight deadbeat team moms dragging them down
00:13:24not like you'd even stand a chance
00:13:26yeah
00:13:27have you seen nfl wags?
00:13:28perfect tits, perfect tents
00:13:31you're already bloating
00:13:32oh my god imagine the flab and stretch marks nine months from now
00:13:37just drop out ryan
00:13:41that was so close
00:13:43that was so close
00:13:43Carson
00:13:45you're going off to practice with nfl players
00:13:47and
00:13:47here i am
00:13:54love is bright
00:13:55if i distract carson with this baby
00:13:57i'll stop him from becoming the all-star he's capable of being
00:14:01i'll destroy everything he's ever worked for
00:14:06just
00:14:07your father can never find out about you
00:14:13he needs to leave
00:14:14and
00:14:16never come back
00:14:18come on
00:14:19let's
00:14:20go
00:14:22to Carson
00:14:26the youngest player in history to train with nfl team
00:14:30yeah
00:14:31your career is like set man
00:14:34how does it feel?
00:14:35speed speed speed speed speed speed speed speed speed speed
00:14:38i'm lighter i'm lighter
00:14:42of course
00:14:42i wouldn't be here without my team
00:14:46but i also owe this win
00:14:49to my best friend
00:14:51ryan cons
00:14:53you've stood by my side since all the kids
00:14:56for every win
00:14:58every loss
00:15:00every stupid dream i've ever had
00:15:02so
00:15:08i know
00:15:08what happened
00:15:11talk to me
00:15:13sleep
00:15:15what happened
00:15:16i'm fucking having one job
00:15:18i'm throwing the ball
00:15:19and i blew it
00:15:22everybody's counting on me i blew it
00:15:25i blew it because i'm an idiot
00:15:27No, hey, breathe, Carson, breathe.
00:15:31Hey, you're the youngest captain in our school's history.
00:15:36You are perfect 99% of the time.
00:15:41On and off.
00:15:49You're not embarrassed.
00:15:52Everybody's gonna involve me.
00:15:53I blew the homecoming game.
00:15:54You're my best friend, stupid.
00:15:58I mean, yeah, sure, you're gonna make it to the NFL one day,
00:16:01but I'd still be best friends with you,
00:16:04even if you were the water boy.
00:16:14That night, you said we were best friends.
00:16:19Ryan, I want to be so much more than that.
00:16:22There's no doubt.
00:16:24No question in my mind.
00:16:27Well, except for one.
00:16:30Oh, shit.
00:16:35Will you marry me, Ryan Collins?
00:16:41Guys like him don't need deadweight, deadbeat teen moms dragging them down.
00:16:45I'm so sorry, Carson.
00:16:48You're my best friend.
00:16:50That's why I'm doing this.
00:17:02Ryan, what the hell?
00:17:04I thought you liked me.
00:17:06I thought you wanted this.
00:17:08You thought wrong.
00:17:09I could never be with a loser like you.
00:17:11That's bullshit.
00:17:13I have known you since we were seven.
00:17:15I know when you're lying.
00:17:16You don't know me.
00:17:18I want to be with a real star.
00:17:20That's Jonah.
00:17:22You'll never be half the man or athlete that he is.
00:17:28I can see that.
00:17:30You know, I thought you cared about me.
00:17:33I guess I had your back room.
00:17:36Wow.
00:17:38I didn't think you had that kind of spice in you, Collins.
00:17:42Nah.
00:17:43Where were we?
00:17:46What the fuck?
00:17:48Wait a minute.
00:17:49Are the rumors true?
00:17:51Are you actually pregnant?
00:17:54You're trying to fuck me and baby trap me.
00:17:57You trashy, psycho bitch.
00:18:00Carson's dodged a bomb.
00:18:06That day, my final act of love for my best friend
00:18:11was convincing him I hated him.
00:18:14So he'd never come looking for me again.
00:18:17But I was wrong about how stubborn Carson Blake could be.
00:18:48Carson, Carson.
00:18:50Carson.
00:18:51You led your team to their first NCAA championship
00:18:53in 50 years.
00:18:55And now every college in the nation
00:18:56wants you on their team.
00:18:57Where are you going?
00:18:59Georgia?
00:18:59Oregon?
00:19:00Boise?
00:19:01Texas?
00:19:02Ryan?
00:19:04Ryan, you need to come look at this.
00:19:06Please hold.
00:19:07Okay.
00:19:10Oh, you need a diaper.
00:19:20Hey.
00:19:21I know you and Carson didn't leave on the best of terms,
00:19:23but isn't it good for Charlie to see your dad?
00:19:25For all?
00:19:26She'll know.
00:19:27I found her dad at a random sperm bank.
00:19:30Got it?
00:19:31Are you sure you're ready for school on Monday?
00:19:33You haven't slept in like four months.
00:19:35I can't give Charlie the life she deserves,
00:19:37working a minimum wage job.
00:19:39I need to get my pre-med degree.
00:19:41And you're not afraid of seeing you-know-who?
00:19:43Carson?
00:19:45No, no way.
00:19:47It's my guts.
00:19:48He's gotten an offer from every single Big Ten school
00:19:51for his senior season.
00:19:53There's no way that he'd come back to
00:19:55lame-ass middle of nowhere North Cardiff.
00:19:59Actually, I'll be going back to my roots.
00:20:01I'll be spending my senior season
00:20:03at the University of North Cardiff.
00:20:11Hey, put that away.
00:20:12Your baby is fine.
00:20:14You won't be.
00:20:15You make me drink alone tonight.
00:20:17Oh, shut up!
00:20:20You're going to be drinking alone regardless.
00:20:23Babies can't drink tequila, remember?
00:20:25Come on, you're still a milk.
00:20:26And you haven't gone out since Charlie was born,
00:20:29so you have to have fun with me.
00:20:30Where else?
00:20:31Okay, fine.
00:20:32I'll stay.
00:20:33You don't want to watch over your drunk ass.
00:20:37Isn't there supposed to be a weight limit at frat parties?
00:20:42Why don't you go home and breastfeed your little brat?
00:20:45She might shed a few pounds.
00:20:47I see you still don't have any hobbies, Lily.
00:20:49Oh, like you do?
00:20:51Still no dad in the picture, I'm guessing.
00:20:53He dodged a bullet.
00:20:54You're really pudgy.
00:20:56You look like my mom before she started her diet.
00:20:59Leave her alone.
00:21:00You know, I heard the most interesting rumor today.
00:21:03I heard that someone very important is transferring back for his senior year.
00:21:08In fact, I think he's here now.
00:21:12Hope you don't embarrass yourself, mama.
00:21:16Who's here?
00:21:29Oh, my God.
00:21:31Oh, my God.
00:21:36Oh, my God.
00:21:45Freddy Krueger.
00:21:46I was going to make fun of your saggy ass breasts, but this is so much grosser.
00:21:51Let go of my skirt.
00:21:53Or why?
00:21:54Hey, everyone.
00:21:56Who wants to see Ryan's awesome new party tree?
00:21:59Hmm.
00:22:02Who wants to see a human cow get milk?
00:22:11Oh, my God.
00:22:14She's actually leaking milk.
00:22:16Oh, gross.
00:22:17Who wants to see Ryan's nasty ass cow drink again?
00:22:21Milk bag cow!
00:22:23Milk bag cow!
00:22:24Milk bag cow!
00:22:26Milk bag cow!
00:22:28Milk bag cow!
00:22:35Oh, my God.
00:22:36Carson?
00:22:37He can't find out I had his child like this.
00:22:41Collins?
00:22:50Is that what I think it is?
00:23:00Ryan, what the hell?
00:23:02I thought you liked me, but you wanted this.
00:23:05You thought wrong.
00:23:07I could never be with a loser like you.
00:23:09That's bullshit.
00:23:11I've known you since we were seven.
00:23:13I know when you're lying.
00:23:14You don't know me.
00:23:15I want to be with a real star.
00:23:18That's Jonah.
00:23:20You'll never be half the man or athlete that he is.
00:23:26I can see that.
00:23:28You know, I thought you cared about me.
00:23:31I guess I had your background.
00:23:34Wow.
00:23:36I didn't think you had that kind of spice in your comments.
00:23:39Now, where were we?
00:23:42Whoa!
00:23:44Whoa!
00:23:44What the fuck?
00:23:46Wait a minute.
00:23:47Are the rumors true?
00:23:49Are you actually pregnant?
00:23:52You're trying to fuck me and baby trap me.
00:23:55You trashy, psycho bitch.
00:23:58Carson's dodged a bomb.
00:24:04That day, my final act of love for my best friend was convincing him I hated him, so he'd never
00:24:13come looking for me again.
00:24:15But I was wrong about how stubborn Carson Blake could be.
00:24:25Hollins, let me in, please!
00:24:27Carson?
00:24:28Drunk on a Monday night?
00:24:30Oh my god.
00:24:33Seriously, what do you want?
00:24:46What the hell?
00:24:48Put that away!
00:24:50I don't want to see my best friends if you know...
00:24:53What?
00:24:53Carson?
00:24:55Baby?
00:24:56Where are you?
00:24:57Golly horse.
00:24:58Golly horse.
00:25:00Golly horse.
00:25:00Don't.
00:25:04Why are you invoking the secret life or death code word on your girlfriend?
00:25:09You know, that's actually for, like, life or death situations.
00:25:12Ex-girlfriend.
00:25:13And this is serious.
00:25:14We're going to strip your apartment and she freaking ambushed me.
00:25:17You know how I get when we don't fuck!
00:25:23Open this door now!
00:25:25Do not keep your girlfriend waiting!
00:25:34Are you...
00:25:35harsh?
00:25:37You're grinding on me.
00:25:39It's the whole thing.
00:25:40Grinding?
00:25:42Who's grinding?
00:25:47Yeah, let's go away, please.
00:25:49Open the door now!
00:25:51I swear to god, I will wake everyone in this entire fucking building up!
00:26:00Hi, Lily.
00:26:02My boyfriend better not be in your cave, you nasty little troll.
00:26:06I could have sworn I heard Carson's voice in here.
00:26:09He's...
00:26:10He's overall...
00:26:12Over...
00:26:13Over at his house.
00:26:14Are you having a stroke?
00:26:16Why so nervous, Conce?
00:26:18Could it be that you...
00:26:22Um...
00:26:23I was talking to him on FaceTime.
00:26:26And it was on speakerphone.
00:26:27That's probably why you heard him.
00:26:30He was saying how he can't wait to have sex...
00:26:36Have sex with you.
00:26:39Glad you know your place, bitch.
00:26:44Hmm...
00:26:44I just hope you know that he's doing charity work by being friends with you.
00:26:51You might just be the worst liar I've ever had the privilege of going on or on.
00:26:55Or under, maybe.
00:26:57Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out!
00:27:05You know, I still don't know why you...
00:27:07Since when have I, your best friend of a million years, ever made you nervous?
00:27:11You barely made it through that.
00:27:16Hey! That's my... I put my... I put my doll on that!
00:27:21I... I... I... Tim... I put this on!
00:27:30Yeah, well, look out in this.
00:27:32Tim, he looks hot in those.
00:27:36Well, it, uh... it worked, didn't it? You're welcome.
00:27:39I'm...
00:27:39Yes, you're amazing.
00:27:41I'm Tom.
00:27:50Oh, God, I... I can't believe I just saw my first penis.
00:27:55It was yours.
00:27:59Thoughts?
00:28:00Because, personally, I enjoyed what I saw down in your penis.
00:28:03Carson! Did you... did you really just say that?
00:28:08Ryan...
00:28:08Come on, answer.
00:28:11Or you can just tell me to leave, but you're not exactly doing that, either.
00:28:15It... it's...
00:28:18It's leave, and you need to nice.
00:28:22It's nice, and you need to leave.
00:28:25So you think it's nice?
00:28:27Ryan Collins, that is bold.
00:28:30You just admitted that my penis is nice.
00:28:32Shut up.
00:28:33I feel anything.
00:28:35So, just to be clear, you want me to leave even though you think that I have been very nice.
00:28:44Shut up.
00:28:46Oh, God.
00:28:54You're welcome.
00:28:57Hey, Ryan.
00:29:01Look, you're right.
00:29:06You're welcome.
00:29:15I'll have a leader and a leader.
00:29:16You're welcome.
00:29:17Please.
00:29:19Please.
00:29:20Of course it is.
00:29:21We...
00:29:22We can't.
00:29:23Why not?
00:29:24Because you're a little drunk and you're hiding from your evil, psycho baby ex-girlfriend
00:29:31and you're a big football star and I'm just your dorky best friend and there's no way that you seriously
00:29:36want me.
00:29:37I like you.
00:29:38Goms.
00:29:40And I'm very serious about how much I like you.
00:29:42I think you ever wondered what it would feel like if...
00:29:47there was something more.
00:29:50Only every day since I was seven.
00:29:53I've even thought about him being my first.
00:29:56But I never thought it could actually happen.
00:29:59Maybe.
00:30:16I don't know.
00:30:17I don't know.
00:30:18I don't know.
00:30:18I can't believe you've been hiding this from me.
00:30:32I've never done this before.
00:30:35I know.
00:30:39I promise I'll take care of you.
00:31:06Did I really just lose my virginity to my best friend?
00:31:15How'd you run to practice?
00:31:17Come find me on the field later tonight?
00:31:25I've loved Carson as long as I can remember.
00:31:29Does last night mean he feels the same?
00:31:32After the semester he leaves for the most elite training camp.
00:31:36If he wants something more he's probably gonna ask now.
00:31:52So...
00:31:53About last night?
00:31:55Oh God.
00:31:56Does he regret it?
00:31:58Uh, yeah.
00:31:59About...
00:32:00Last night.
00:32:01Look, if...
00:32:02If you think it was a mistake...
00:32:04A mistake?
00:32:06Oh, so you can let me be an mistake.
00:32:08Well, you were...
00:32:09You were really drunk and it's probably obvious that I've...
00:32:12Liked you forever and I just...
00:32:15I didn't know if you wanted to be more than...
00:32:20What didn't you just say?
00:32:22I said I want to be more than friends.
00:32:25I like you.
00:32:26Cause.
00:32:27For real.
00:32:29I like you too, Kars.
00:32:31I just...
00:32:32What if this changes things between us?
00:32:36I don't want to lose my best friend.
00:32:38I won't.
00:32:40Look, we've still got a few months.
00:32:41It was always.
00:32:43Yeah.
00:32:45We can take a stalk.
00:33:02I've wanted him since forever.
00:33:04And now he's finally mine.
00:33:08So what?
00:33:09Your period three weeks late when you've been throwing up every day.
00:33:13That doesn't mean Jack squat.
00:33:15What?
00:33:19Positive.
00:33:23How am I supposed to tell my best friend that I'm pregnant with his baby?
00:33:29I don't know.
00:33:30But you have to, right?
00:33:31He's leaving soon.
00:33:46Dude.
00:33:47It's so obvious that you're whipped for Ryan.
00:33:49Since the moment that we were kids on a playground, man.
00:33:53You know, I guess I just never really thought that she'd feel the same way about a dumb jock.
00:33:59Fuck yeah.
00:34:02I know I have to leave sooner than I thought, but am I going away party?
00:34:05I'm gonna finally ask her.
00:34:08She needs to know how bad I want this.
00:34:18Watch it, Argo.
00:34:19Ugh, you can't even walk straight.
00:34:25No.
00:34:27Ow!
00:34:32Oh my god.
00:34:35Ryan the troll might actually be pregnant?
00:34:37Aw, but who's gonna guard the bridge?
00:34:40Pregnant?
00:34:41Someone actually put their dick in that?
00:34:43Did he have to wear a blindfold or a paper bag?
00:34:47Give that back.
00:34:49I will.
00:34:49When you tell me who your baby daddy is,
00:34:52I can't tell her the baby's Carson's.
00:34:54Her ex?
00:34:56She would kill me.
00:35:00Oh my god.
00:35:01You don't even remember?
00:35:03You're such a slut.
00:35:04Ew.
00:35:05I'm gonna call you Ghana Ryan.
00:35:09Maybe you should get tested for STDs, Trish.
00:35:13That's one test you'll actually pass.
00:35:17For somebody who dresses like a fugly Amish bitch,
00:35:20but probably has the body count of a stripper?
00:35:23You've got some nerve.
00:35:24Expose her, Lily.
00:35:25Let's show everyone what Ryan's got for sale.
00:35:35Not much.
00:35:36Oh, but don't worry.
00:35:38Maybe this little guy can make you some cash.
00:35:41Ew.
00:35:42So trashy.
00:35:44Aw, are you crying?
00:35:46Is it cause your bestie Carson isn't here to save you?
00:35:49No.
00:35:49Well, newsflash.
00:35:51He's moving across the country to be an NFL star.
00:35:54What the?
00:35:55No, no.
00:35:56He's staying right here in North Cardiff.
00:35:59Oh.
00:36:00You don't know.
00:36:01He's training with the NFL champions.
00:36:03He's gonna be gone the whole fall semester
00:36:06and the whole summer.
00:36:07I bet he's so excited to finally get away from this whale.
00:36:10She just sucks up all the air.
00:36:11Daddy.
00:36:12The whole summer?
00:36:14Guys like him don't need deadweight, deadbeat, teen moms driving them down.
00:36:19Not like you'd even stand a chance.
00:36:21Yeah.
00:36:21Have you seen NFL wags?
00:36:23Perfect tits, perfect tents.
00:36:25You're already bloating.
00:36:27Oh my god.
00:36:27Imagine the flab and stretch marks nine months from now.
00:36:32Just drop out, Ryan.
00:36:36That was so close.
00:36:38Carson, you're going off to practice with NFL players
00:36:41and here I am.
00:36:48Love is right.
00:36:50If I distract Carson with this baby,
00:36:52I'll stop him from becoming the all-star he's capable of being.
00:36:56I'll destroy everything he's ever worked for.
00:37:03Your father can never find out about you.
00:37:08He needs to leave and never come back.
00:37:12Woo!
00:37:13Come on!
00:37:14Let's go!
00:37:17To Carson!
00:37:21The youngest player in history to try with NFL team.
00:37:27Your career is like set, man.
00:37:29How does it feel?
00:37:30Speed, speed, speed, speed, speed, speed, speed.
00:37:33All right!
00:37:34All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
00:37:36Woo!
00:37:37Of course, I wouldn't be here without my team.
00:37:39Woo!
00:37:41But I also owe this win to my best friend,
00:37:46Ryan Collins.
00:37:48Who stood by my side's statements.
00:37:51For every win,
00:37:52every loss,
00:37:55every stupid dream I've ever had.
00:38:01Carson, Carson, what happens, talk to me, it's me, I freaking have one shot, to throw
00:38:13the ball, and I blew it, everybody's counting on me and I blew it, I blew it because I'm
00:38:21an idiot, no, hey, breathe, Carson, breathe, okay?
00:38:27You're the youngest captain in our school's history, you are perfect, 99% of the time, on
00:38:37and off the field.
00:38:44You're not embarrassed, everybody's gonna ignore me, I blew the homecoming game.
00:38:49You're my best friend, stupid, I mean, yeah, sure, you're gonna make it to the NFL one day,
00:38:55but I'd still be best friends with you, even if you were the water boy.
00:39:08That night, you said we were best friends, but Ryan, I want to be so much more than that.
00:39:16There's no doubt, no question in my mind, well, except for one, I'm calling you.
00:39:29Will you marry me, Ryan Collins?
00:39:35Guys like him don't need deadweight, deadbeat, team moms, strutting them down.
00:39:40I'm so sorry, Carson, you're my best friend, that's why I'm doing this.
00:39:56Ryan, what the hell?
00:39:59I thought you liked me, but you wanted this.
00:40:02You thought wrong.
00:40:03I could never be with a loser like you.
00:40:05That's bullshit.
00:40:07I've known you since we were seven.
00:40:09I know when you're lying.
00:40:11You don't know me.
00:40:12I want to be with a real star.
00:40:15That's, that's Jonah.
00:40:17You'll never be half the man or athlete that he is.
00:40:23I can see that.
00:40:24You know, I thought you cared about me.
00:40:27I guess I had your background.
00:40:30Wow.
00:40:33I didn't think you had that kind of spice in you, Collins.
00:40:36Nah.
00:40:37Where were we?
00:40:38Whoa, whoa, what the fuck?
00:40:43Wait a minute.
00:40:44Are the rumors true?
00:40:45Are you actually pregnant?
00:40:49You're trying to fuck me and baby trap me.
00:40:52You trashy, psycho bitch.
00:40:55Carson's dodged a bomb.
00:41:01That day, my final act of love for my best friend was convincing him I hated him.
00:41:09So he'd never come looking for me again.
00:41:12But I was wrong about how stubborn Carson Blake could be.
00:41:16Carson!
00:41:20You led your team to their power.
00:41:22I'm not going to be a good one.
00:41:24I'm not going to be a good one.
00:41:24I'm not going to be a good one.
00:41:28I'm not going to be a good one.
00:41:30I'm not going to be a good one.
00:41:33I'm not going to be a good one.
00:41:38I'm not going to be a good one.
00:41:39I'm not going to be a good one.
00:41:40I'm not going to be a good one.
00:41:40I'm not going to be a good one.
00:41:41I'm not going to be a good one.
00:41:42I'm not going to be a good one.
00:41:42I'm not going to be a good one.
00:41:43I'm not going to be a good one.
00:41:45You led your team to their first NCAA championship in 50 years, and now every college in the nation wants
00:41:51you on their team.
00:41:52Where are you going? Georgia? Oregon? Boise? Texas?
00:41:57Ryan? Ryan, you need to come look at this!
00:42:00Please hold. Okay.
00:42:04Oh, you need a diaper.
00:42:15Hey, I know you and Carson didn't leave on the best of terms, but isn't it good for Charlie to
00:42:19see your dad?
00:42:20For all? She'll know. I found her dad at a random sperm bank.
00:42:25Got it? Are you sure you're ready for school on Monday?
00:42:28You haven't slept in like four months.
00:42:29I can't give Charlie the life she deserves, working a minimum wage job. I need to get my pre-med
00:42:34degree.
00:42:35And you're not afraid of seeing you-know-who?
00:42:37Carson?
00:42:39No. No way. It's my guts.
00:42:43He's gotten an offer from every single Big Ten school for his senior season.
00:42:47There's no way that he'd come back to lame-ass middle of nowhere in North Cardiff.
00:42:53Actually, I'll be going back to my roots.
00:42:56I'll be spending my senior season at the University of North Cardiff.
00:43:06I need to put that away. Your baby is fine.
00:43:08You won't be if you make me drink alone tonight.
00:43:11Oh, shut up!
00:43:14You're gonna be drinking alone regardless.
00:43:17Babies can't drink tequila, remember?
00:43:20Come on, you're still a milk.
00:43:21And you haven't gone out since Charlie was born, so you have to have fun with me.
00:43:24Where else?
00:43:26Okay, fine. I'll stay.
00:43:28You don't need to watch over your drunk ass.
00:43:31Isn't there supposed to be a weight limit at frat parties?
00:43:36Why don't you go home and breastfeed your little brat?
00:43:40She might shed a few pounds.
00:43:41So you still don't have any hobbies, Lily?
00:43:43Oh, like you do?
00:43:45Still no dad in the picture, I'm guessing.
00:43:47He dodged a bullet.
00:43:49You're really pudgy.
00:43:50You looked like my mom before she started her diet.
00:43:53Leave her alone.
00:43:55You know, I heard the most interesting rumor today.
00:43:58I heard that someone very important is transferring back for his senior year.
00:44:02In fact, I think he's here now.
00:44:06I hope you don't embarrass yourself, you mama.
00:44:10Who?
00:44:10Who's here?
00:44:19Who's here?
00:44:35Who'd I?
00:44:39Who's here?
00:44:40Who's here?
00:44:40Who's here?
00:44:40Who's here?
00:44:40I was going to make fun of your saggy-ass breasts, but this is so much grosser.
00:44:46Let go of my skirt!
00:44:47Or what?
00:44:49Hey everyone, who wants to see Ryan's awesome new party trip?
00:44:57Who wants to see a human cow get milked?
00:45:06Oh my gosh, she's actually leaking milk!
00:45:10Gross! Who wants to see Ryan's nasty-ass cow drink again?
00:45:16Milk-back cow! Milk-back cow! Milk-back cow! Milk-back cow!
00:45:29Oh my god, Carson, he can't find out I had his child like this.
00:45:35Collins?
00:45:44Is that what I think it is?
00:45:54Ryan, what the hell?
00:45:56I thought you liked me.
00:45:58I thought you wanted this.
00:46:00You thought wrong.
00:46:01I could never be with a loser like you.
00:46:03That's bullshit.
00:46:05I've known you since we were seven.
00:46:07I know when you're lying.
00:46:08You don't know me.
00:46:10I want to be with a real star.
00:46:12That's-that's Jonah.
00:46:14You'll never be half the man or athlete that he is.
00:46:21Yeah, I can see that.
00:46:22You know, I thought you cared about me.
00:46:25I guess I had your back room.
00:46:28Wow.
00:46:30I didn't think you had that kind of spice in you, Collins.
00:46:33Nah.
00:46:35Where were we?
00:46:37Whoa!
00:46:38Whoa!
00:46:39What the fuck?
00:46:40Wait a minute.
00:46:41Are the rumors true?
00:46:43Are you actually pregnant?
00:46:46Ugh.
00:46:47You're trying to fuck me in baby trapping.
00:46:49You trashy, psycho bitch.
00:46:52Carson's dodged a bomb.
00:46:58That day, my final act of love for my best friend was convincing him I hated him.
00:47:07So he'd never come looking for me again.
00:47:10But I was wrong about how stubborn Carson Blake could be.
00:47:20Collins, let me in, please!
00:47:22Carson?
00:47:23Drunk?
00:47:24On a Monday night?
00:47:26God.
00:47:27Seriously.
00:47:28What do you want?
00:47:41What the hell?
00:47:43Put that away!
00:47:44I don't want to see my best friend's funeral.
00:47:47What?
00:47:48Carson!
00:47:49Baby!
00:47:50Where are you?
00:47:51Tell me who's got my horse.
00:47:54Okay.
00:47:54Don't.
00:47:54Okay.
00:47:55Don't.
00:47:59Why are you invoking the secret life or death code word on your girlfriend?
00:48:03You know, that's actually for, like, life or death situations.
00:48:06Ex-girlfriend.
00:48:07And this is serious.
00:48:08We're going to strip your apartment.
00:48:09She freaking ambushed me.
00:48:11You know how I get when we don't fuck!
00:48:18Open this door now!
00:48:19Do not keep your girlfriend waiting!
00:48:26You!
00:48:29You're crying!
00:48:32It's nothing when he is nothing.
00:48:35Grinding?
00:48:36Who's grinding?
00:48:41Yeah, let's go away, please.
00:48:43Open the door now!
00:48:45I swear to God, I will wake everyone in this entire fucking building up!
00:48:54Hi, Lily.
00:48:56My boyfriend better not be in your cave, you nasty little troll.
00:49:00I could have sworn I heard Carson's voice in here.
00:49:05He's oral over at his house.
00:49:09Are you having a stroke?
00:49:11Why so nervous, Kongs?
00:49:13Could it be that you...
00:49:17I was talking to him on FaceTime, and it was on speakerphone that's probably why you heard him.
00:49:24He was saying how he can't wait to have sex with you.
00:49:33Glad you know your place, bitch.
00:49:38I just hope you know that he's doing charity work by being friends with you.
00:49:45You might just be the worst liar I've ever had the privilege of relying on.
00:49:50Or under, I mean.
00:49:52Get out! Get out! Get out!
00:49:59You know, I still don't know why you...
00:50:01Since when have I, your best friend of a million years, ever made you nervous?
00:50:06You barely made it through that.
00:50:11Hey!
00:50:12That's my...
00:50:12I put my...
00:50:13I put my down on that!
00:50:15I...
00:50:16I...
00:50:17Put this on!
00:50:17Put this on the floor.
00:50:24Damn, I'll look all these.
00:50:26Damn...
00:50:27He looks hot in those.
00:50:30Well, it, uh...
00:50:32It worked!
00:50:32Didn't it?
00:50:33You're welcome.
00:50:34Yes, you're amazing.
00:50:36I'm Tom.
00:50:44Oh, God, I can't believe I just saw my first penis.
00:50:50It was yours.
00:50:52Your thoughts?
00:50:55I personally enjoy what I saw down on your penis.
00:50:58Carson, did you really just say that?
00:51:01Ryan, come on, answer.
00:51:06Or you can just tell me to leave, but you're not exactly doing that, either.
00:51:10It's...
00:51:12It's leave, and you need to leave.
00:51:16It's nice, and you need to leave.
00:51:19So you think it's nice?
00:51:22Ryan Collins, that is bold.
00:51:25You just admitted that my penis is nice.
00:51:27Shut up.
00:51:30So, just to be clear,
00:51:32that you want me to leave,
00:51:34even though you think that I had a very nice...
00:51:39Shut up.
00:51:40Oh, God.
00:51:48Yeah.
00:51:54Yeah.
00:52:14Listen, we...
00:52:16We can't...
00:52:18Why not?
00:52:19Because you're a little drunk,
00:52:21and you're hiding from your evil, psycho baby ex-girlfriend,
00:52:26and you're a big football star,
00:52:28and I'm just your dorky best friend,
00:52:29and there's no way that you seriously want me.
00:52:31I like you.
00:52:33Collins.
00:52:34I'm very serious about how much I like you.
00:52:38Have you ever wondered what you'd feel like?
00:52:42Or something more?
00:52:44Only every day since I was seven.
00:52:48I've even thought about him being my first.
00:52:51But I never thought it could actually happen.
00:52:54Maybe.
00:53:12I can't believe you've been hiding this from me.
00:53:21I can't believe you've been hiding this from me.
00:53:27I've never done this before.
00:53:29I know.
00:53:33I promise I'll take care of you.
00:53:34I want to be okay,
00:53:36but I want to be you.
00:53:39I want to be okay.
00:54:01Did I really just lose my virginity to my best friend?
00:54:10How'd you run to practice?
00:54:12Come find me on the field later tonight?
00:54:19I've loved Carson as long as I can remember.
00:54:24Does last night mean he feels the same?
00:54:27After the semester, he leaves for the most elite training camp.
00:54:31If he wants something more, he's probably gonna ask now.
00:54:46So...
00:54:48About last night.
00:54:49Oh God.
00:54:51Does he regret it?
00:54:53Yeah, about last night.
00:54:55Look, if you think it was a mistake...
00:54:58A mistake?
00:55:01So you can let me be in the sleep.
00:55:03Well, you were really drunk and it's probably obvious that I've liked you forever and I just...
00:55:09I don't know if you want to be more than this.
00:55:14What didn't you just say?
00:55:16I said I want to be more than friends.
00:55:19Like you.
00:55:21Carlos.
00:55:22For real.
00:55:23I like you too, Carlos.
00:55:26I just...
00:55:27What if this changes things between us?
00:55:31I don't want to lose my best friend.
00:55:33Mom.
00:55:34Mom.
00:55:34Mom.
00:55:35Look, we've still got a few months, almost always.
00:55:37Okay?
00:55:39We can take a slow.
00:55:56I've wanted him since forever.
00:55:58And now he's finally mine.
00:56:03So what, you're period three weeks late and you've been throwing up every day.
00:56:07That doesn't mean jack squat.
00:56:08That doesn't mean jack squat.
00:56:13Positive.
00:56:18How am I supposed to tell my best friend that I'm pregnant with his baby?
00:56:23I don't know.
00:56:24But you have to, right?
00:56:26He's leaving soon.
00:56:40Dude, it's so obvious that you're wet for Ryan.
00:56:44since the moment that we were kids on a playground, man.
00:56:48You know, I guess I just never really thought
00:56:50that she'd feel the same way about a dumb jock.
00:56:53Yeah.
00:56:56I know I have to leave sooner than I thought,
00:56:58but at my going away party, I'm going to finally ask her.
00:57:02She means not how bad I want this.
00:57:12Watch it, Aggo.
00:57:14You can't even walk straight.
00:57:20No.
00:57:22Ow!
00:57:23Ow!
00:57:27Oh, my God.
00:57:29Ryan the troll might actually be pregnant?
00:57:32Aw, but who's going to guard the bridge?
00:57:35Pregnant?
00:57:36Someone actually put their dick in that?
00:57:38Did he have to wear a blindfold or a paper bag?
00:57:42Give that back.
00:57:43I will.
00:57:44When you tell me who your baby daddy is.
00:57:46I can't tell her the baby's Carson's.
00:57:49Her ex?
00:57:50She would kill me.
00:57:54Oh, my God.
00:57:56You don't even remember?
00:57:57You're such a slut.
00:57:59Ew.
00:58:00I'm going to call you Ghana-Ryan.
00:58:04Maybe you should get tested for STDs, Trish.
00:58:07That's one test you'll actually pass.
00:58:12For somebody who dresses like a fugly Amish bitch,
00:58:15but probably has the body count of a stripper?
00:58:17You've got some nerve.
00:58:19Expose her, Lily.
00:58:20Let's show everyone what Ryan's got for sale.
00:58:29Not much.
00:58:31Oh, but don't worry.
00:58:32Maybe this little guy can make you some cash.
00:58:36Ew.
00:58:36So trashy.
00:58:39Are you crying?
00:58:41Is it because your bestie Carson isn't here to save you?
00:58:44Well, newsflash.
00:58:45He's moving across the country to be an NFL star.
00:58:48What?
00:58:49No.
00:58:50No, no, he's staying right here in North Cardiff.
00:58:53Oh.
00:58:54You don't know.
00:58:55He's training with the NFL champions.
00:58:57He's going to be gone the whole fall semester and the whole summer.
00:59:01I bet he's so excited to finally get away from this whale.
00:59:04She just sucks up all the air.
00:59:06Daddy.
00:59:07Oh, Summer?
00:59:08Guys like him don't need deadweight, deadbeat teen moms dragging them down.
00:59:13Not like you'd even stand a chance.
00:59:15Yeah.
00:59:16Have you seen NFL wags?
00:59:17Perfect tits, perfect tens.
00:59:20You're already bloating.
00:59:21Oh my God.
00:59:22Imagine the flab and stretch marks nine months from now.
00:59:26Just drop out, Ryan.
00:59:30That was so close.
00:59:32Carson, you're going off to practice with NFL players and here I am.
00:59:43Lily's right.
00:59:44If I distract Carson with this baby, I'll stop him from becoming the all-star he's capable of being.
00:59:51I'll destroy everything he's ever worked for.
00:59:57Your father can never find out about you.
01:00:02He needs to leave and never come back.
01:00:07Come on!
01:00:09Let's go!
01:00:11To Carson!
01:00:16The youngest player in history to train with NFL team.
01:00:21Your career is like set, man.
01:00:23How does it feel?
01:00:25Speed, speed, speed, speed, speed, speed, speed.
01:00:27All right.
01:00:28All right, all right, all right.
01:00:29Woo!
01:00:31Of course, I wouldn't be here without my team.
01:00:33Woo!
01:00:35But I also owe this win to my best friend, Ryan Collins.
01:00:42I've stood by my sides until my kids.
01:00:45For every win, every loss, every stupid dream I've ever had.
01:00:54Carson.
01:00:56Carson.
01:00:58What happened?
01:01:00Talk to me.
01:01:02It's me.
01:01:04I freaking have one job.
01:01:06To throw the ball.
01:01:08I blew it.
01:01:11Everybody's counting on me and I blew it.
01:01:14I blew it because I'm an idiot.
01:01:15I blew it.
01:01:16I blew it.
01:01:17Hey, breathe.
01:01:18Carson.
01:01:19Breathe.
01:01:20Okay?
01:01:21You're the youngest captain in our school's history.
01:01:24You are perfect.
01:01:27You are perfect 99% of the time.
01:01:30on and off the field.
01:01:38You're not embarrassed.
01:01:41Everybody's going to ignore me.
01:01:42I blew the homecoming game.
01:01:43You're my best friend, stupid.
01:01:47I mean, yeah, sure, you're going to make it to the NFL one day.
01:01:50But I'd still be best friends with you.
01:01:53Even if you were the water boy.
01:02:03That night, you said we were best friends.
01:02:08Ryan, I want to be so much more than that.
01:02:11There's no doubt.
01:02:13No question in my mind.
01:02:17Except for one.
01:02:23Will you marry me, Ryan Collins?
01:02:29Guys like him don't need deadweight, deadbeat teen moms dragging them down.
01:02:34I'm so sorry, Carson.
01:02:37You're my best friend.
01:02:39That's why I'm doing this.
01:02:51Ryan, what the hell?
01:02:53I thought you liked me.
01:02:55I thought you wanted this.
01:02:56You thought wrong.
01:02:58I can never be with a loser like you.
01:03:00That's bullshit.
01:03:02I've known you since we were seven.
01:03:04I know when you're lying.
01:03:05You don't know me.
01:03:06I want to be with a real star.
01:03:09That's, that's Jonah.
01:03:11You'll never be half the man or athlete that he is.
01:03:17I can see that.
01:03:19You know, I thought you cared about me.
01:03:22I guess I had your back room.
01:03:27I didn't think you had that kind of spice in your comments.
01:03:30Nah.
01:03:32Where were we?
01:03:34Whoa!
01:03:35Whoa!
01:03:36What the fuck?
01:03:37Wait a minute.
01:03:38Are the rumors true?
01:03:40Are you actually pregnant?
01:03:43You're trying to fuck me and baby trap me.
01:03:46You trashy, psycho bitch.
01:03:49Carson's dodged a bomb.
01:03:55That day, my final act of love for my best friend was convincing him I hated him.
01:04:03So he'd never come looking for me again.
01:04:07But I was wrong about how stubborn Carson Blake could be.
01:04:37Carson!
01:04:38Carson!
01:04:39You led your team to their first NCAA championship in 50 years.
01:04:44And now every college in the nation wants you on their team.
01:04:46Where are you going?
01:04:47Georgia?
01:04:48Oregon?
01:04:49Boise?
01:04:50Texas?
01:04:51Ryan?
01:04:53Ryan, you need to come look at this.
01:04:55Please hold.
01:04:56Okay.
01:04:58Oh, you need a diaper.
01:05:09Hey.
01:05:10I know you and Carson didn't leave on the best of terms, but isn't it good for Charlie to see
01:05:14your dad?
01:05:14For all?
01:05:15She'll know.
01:05:16I found her dad at a random sperm bank.
01:05:19Got it?
01:05:20Are you sure you're ready for school on Monday?
01:05:22You haven't slept in like four months.
01:05:24I can't give Charlie the life she deserves working a minimum wage job.
01:05:28I need to get my pre-med degree.
01:05:29And you're not afraid of seeing you know who?
01:05:32Carson?
01:05:34No.
01:05:35No way.
01:05:36It's my guts.
01:05:37He's gotten an offer from every single Big Ten school for his senior season.
01:05:42There's no way that he'd come back to lame ass middle of nowhere North Cardiff.
01:05:48Actually, I'll be going back to my roots.
01:05:50I'll be spending my senior season at the University of North Cardiff.
01:06:00I need to put that away.
01:06:01Your baby is fine.
01:06:03You won't be if you make me drink alone tonight.
01:06:05Stop!
01:06:09You're going to be drinking alone regardless.
01:06:12Babies can't drink tequila, remember?
01:06:14Come on, you're still a milk.
01:06:15And you haven't gone out since Charlie was born, so you have to have fun with me.
01:06:19Where else?
01:06:20Okay, fine.
01:06:21I'll stay.
01:06:22You only need to watch over your drunk ass.
01:06:25She did.
01:06:26Isn't there supposed to be a weight limit at frat parties?
01:06:31Why don't you go home and breastfeed your little brat?
01:06:34She might shed a few pounds.
01:06:35I see you still don't have any hobbies, Lily.
01:06:38Oh, like you do?
01:06:39Still no dad in the picture, I'm guessing.
01:06:42He dodged a bullet.
01:06:43You're really pudgy.
01:06:45You looked like my mom before she started her diet.
01:06:48Leave her alone.
01:06:49You know, I heard the most interesting rumor today.
01:06:52I heard that someone very important is transferring back for his senior year.
01:06:57In fact, I think he's here now.
01:07:01Hope you don't embarrass yourself, Mama.
01:07:04Mama, who's here?
01:07:28Hey!
01:07:33Oh my god, Freddy Krueger.
01:07:35I was going to make fun of your saggy ass breasts, but this is so much grosser.
01:07:40Let go of my skirt.
01:07:42Or what?
01:07:43Hey everyone, who wants to see Ryan's awesome new party tree?
01:07:51Who wants to see a human cow get milked?
01:08:00Oh my god, she's actually leaking milk!
01:08:05Gross!
01:08:06Who wants to see Ryan's nasty ass cow trick again?
01:08:10Milk bad cow!
01:08:12Milk bad cow!
01:08:13Milk bad cow!
01:08:15Milk bad cow!
01:08:17Milk bad cow!
01:08:24Milk bad cow!
01:08:25Oh my god, Carson!
01:08:26He can't find out I had his child like this!
01:08:30Columns?
01:08:39Is that what I think it is?
01:08:42What's the one here?
01:08:42Oh my god.
01:08:43Oh!
01:08:44Oh!
01:08:44Oh! Oh! Oh!
01:08:45Amen.

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