A bungling railway worker is given the job of stationmaster at a rundown station in rural Ireland, where his sidekicks are a toothless old gaffer and a portly young loudmouth. Hilarious adventures ensue, including a locomotive chase after gunrunners make off with a train.
#B&W #comedy #drama #family
#B&W #comedy #drama #family
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00:00:20I want to go to Birmingham, they're taking me on to cruise.
00:00:29Oh, Mr. Porter, what a funny man you are.
00:01:18And as the managing director of this railway, it gives me great pleasure in asking the wife
00:01:23to the Minister of Public Communications to christen our new engines.
00:01:29I now christen you the silver link.
00:01:38As Minister of Public Communications, speaking on behalf of my wife and myself, we would like
00:01:43to place them and record the prize.
00:01:46We feel that you should have selected us to perform this ceremony.
00:01:53In all the years I've been in office, I can record no happier occasion.
00:02:04No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:02:06Don't stop him.
00:02:07The work of the railway must go off.
00:02:09Oh, that's all right.
00:02:10I can wait.
00:02:10I'll listen to you.
00:02:12Willie, what's all Willie doing here?
00:02:14Come here, my man.
00:02:17So you're the wheel tapper, eh?
00:02:19That reminds me of a story they used to tell about a wheel tapper on the line.
00:02:22He'd been tapping wheels for 40 years.
00:02:25And one day somebody asked him why he tapped the wheels.
00:02:27And what do you think he said?
00:02:29He said, I'm blown if I know.
00:02:33He'd been tapping wheels for 40 years and didn't know why.
00:02:42Willie, think me a little stupid.
00:02:44But why do they tap them?
00:02:46Ah, well, er...
00:02:48Well, you see, it's like this, madam.
00:02:49If I tap the wheel with this hammer and the wheel goes clang,
00:02:52then I know the wheel's there, you see?
00:02:55Yes, but suppose the wheel doesn't go clang.
00:02:58Well, then I know the train's gone.
00:03:07That's the lock.
00:03:09Thanks.
00:03:10Hold on.
00:03:14Head of dark trousers with white pink stripes.
00:03:17Here.
00:03:18Ditto, cleaning number 1349.
00:03:21Those are mine.
00:03:24I've never been so humiliated in all my life
00:03:26to think that I should live to see my own brother working as a common wheel tapper.
00:03:30But, my dear...
00:03:31What's the good of being managing director
00:03:33if you can't get Willie a better position than that?
00:03:34But we've tried him in everything.
00:03:36Well, if that's the best you can do,
00:03:37I should insist on Willie resigning from the railway altogether.
00:03:40You mean leave us altogether?
00:03:42Certainly.
00:03:42After all, there's no need for him to work on the line.
00:03:45No, there must be other things he can do.
00:03:47Exactly.
00:03:47He can come and live with us.
00:03:48What?
00:03:49In our house?
00:03:50Why not?
00:03:51Better that than tapping wheels.
00:03:53But, my dear...
00:03:53My mind is made up.
00:03:55Either Willie gets a decent job or he comes to live with us.
00:03:57Yes, but...
00:03:58I'll do that thing and don't argue.
00:04:00Don't be hasty, my dear.
00:04:02I'll see the superintendent at once.
00:04:04That's more like it.
00:04:05I'll go and fetch Willie.
00:04:07But I...
00:04:08Darn, sir.
00:04:08He should be fired.
00:04:09You know the board's attitude towards incompetence.
00:04:11No, you don't understand, old man.
00:04:13If he's fired, my wife's going to have him live with us.
00:04:16Oh, life wouldn't be worth living.
00:04:17I wouldn't have a sock to call my own.
00:04:19Oh, you have my sympathy, sir.
00:04:20Sympathy's no good.
00:04:21What I want is help.
00:04:22Well, have you any special position in mind for him?
00:04:26No, no.
00:04:26So long as it has the semblance of promotion.
00:04:28Hmm.
00:04:29Well, would it matter if we sent him very far away?
00:04:32The farther the better.
00:04:33Well, uh...
00:04:34Now, let me see.
00:04:36Come on, Willie.
00:04:37There's nothing to be nervous about.
00:04:38Oh, I'm not nervous.
00:04:39I've been here before.
00:04:40I hope you've explained the situation, Charles.
00:04:43Well, my dear, I was just, uh...
00:04:44You see, Mr. Young,
00:04:45we don't think it conforms with our dignity
00:04:47to have a relative of ours tapping wheels.
00:04:49We've never had a tapper in our family, have we, Willie?
00:04:52Well, there was Uncle Joe.
00:04:54I thought we'd taken you off tapping.
00:04:55You were supposed to be sorting parcels.
00:04:57What were you doing on the line, anyway?
00:04:58Well, after I checked through under the stoop and cheeses,
00:05:00I needed some fresh air.
00:05:01You've never given the boy a proper chance.
00:05:03We've tried him in many capacities, my dear.
00:05:05What positions has he held?
00:05:10In 1934, we made him chief coupler at Miggleswick.
00:05:13And you know what you did there?
00:05:15Yes, I coupled.
00:05:17Yes, you coupled the coal train to the Scotch Express.
00:05:20Oh!
00:05:20I did nothing in the short.
00:05:22You deny it.
00:05:22Certainly I do.
00:05:23I did not couple the coal train to the Scotch Express.
00:05:25I coupled the Scotch Express to the coal train.
00:05:27Fancy putting anyone with Willie's intelligence to couple trains.
00:05:30On Derby Day 1935, we put you on the indicator board.
00:05:34Yes, that's quite right.
00:05:35And you sent 12,000 race-goers to a temperance convention in Wales.
00:05:39Did you hear about that too?
00:05:40Heard about it.
00:05:41Yes, from 12,000 race-goers.
00:05:43Charles!
00:05:44Yes, my dear.
00:05:46Either Willie gets promoted or...
00:05:48What vacancies are there?
00:05:53There's a vacancy for a sleeping car attendant.
00:05:55No, that would keep him up too late.
00:05:57Does a guard want it for a milk train?
00:05:58No, that would get me up too early.
00:06:00Oh, well, that's all there is.
00:06:01Right.
00:06:01Come on, Willie.
00:06:03Surely there must be something.
00:06:05Well, we've already offered him two posts.
00:06:07What does he want?
00:06:08Just a minute.
00:06:10Have you got any station masters?
00:06:12London Main Line Terminus, I suppose.
00:06:14Oh, no, no.
00:06:14Start me in Manchester, Birmingham.
00:06:16I'll work my way up.
00:06:17Well, there aren't any station master vacancies.
00:06:18Ah, there you are, sis.
00:06:19See what I'm up against.
00:06:21Victimization.
00:06:21The one job I know I can do, and they won't give me a chance.
00:06:24What's this?
00:06:24Oh, that must have just come in.
00:06:26There's a place in Ireland called Buggles Kelly.
00:06:28Oh, that's nothing.
00:06:29There's a place in Wales called
00:06:34They want a station master at Buggles Kelly.
00:06:37What?
00:06:37Excuse me one minute.
00:06:40Mr. Ledbetter, about that vacancy for a station master at Buggles Kelly.
00:06:43I thought we filled there a month ago.
00:06:45Yes, sir, but it's vacant again.
00:06:47Don't know, sir.
00:06:48Local conditions would appear to be peculiar.
00:06:50We've sent them five station masters in 12 months.
00:06:53What happened to the last one?
00:06:54I'll read you his letter, sir.
00:06:56Sounds a bit queer to me.
00:06:58Dear sir, since coming to this district,
00:07:00I have discovered I am Napoleon Bonaparte.
00:07:02And since you refused to transfer me to Waterloo, I resign.
00:07:05P.S. Please forward all letters to Moscow.
00:07:08I intend to retreat there.
00:07:10Extraordinary.
00:07:11And the one before him, why did he leave?
00:07:13I've no idea, sir.
00:07:14But I remember we sent a wreath.
00:07:17So is the very place.
00:07:19Can I have it?
00:07:19You've got it.
00:07:20It's a country station, rather off the beaten track.
00:07:23Oh, I don't mind.
00:07:24As long as it's near the railway.
00:07:26Let me see.
00:07:29Here's our line running through Northern Ireland.
00:07:32And here is Buggles, Ken.
00:07:35What do you want to say?
00:07:37What?
00:07:51How is she?
00:07:57There is.
00:08:01We work hard.
00:08:08What do you mind?
00:08:15Thanks.
00:08:17What's a grand coffee you have there, mister?
00:08:20Oh, this.
00:08:20Just a little present from my staff when they heard I was leaving lunch.
00:08:24What might the inscription be?
00:08:26To William Porter, that's me, from his fellow workers on the occasion of his promotion to the station master at
00:08:31Buggles Kelly's.
00:08:33What's that he said?
00:08:35This gentleman is the new station master at Buggles Kelly.
00:08:39Poor man.
00:08:41And hit a stranger.
00:08:42Why, what's wrong with it?
00:08:44It's a brave man, let's go.
00:08:46No chicken child of mine will walk abroad there after that.
00:08:49Is it damp or something?
00:08:50Did you ever hear tell of One-Eyed Joe, the Phantom Miller?
00:08:53No, I never follow greyhounds.
00:08:54Follow, is it?
00:08:55Follow.
00:08:56You'll be a lucky man if One-Eyed Joe never follows you.
00:08:59He was murdered by the railway, so he was.
00:09:02In the old days, he was a rich man, and a miser too, so they say.
00:09:06He owned the Pooke Hill and the mill that stands on top of it.
00:09:08You should be able to see it from here as well.
00:09:15Then one day, the railway came along, and what did they do but start to run a tunnel right through
00:09:18the heart of the hill without buyer labor or nothing?
00:09:21Oh, that was hardly sick transit door there, was it?
00:09:24He should have sued them.
00:09:24He did better.
00:09:25He put a curse on the line and swore that any train that entered the tunnel should never come out
00:09:29again.
00:09:30Well, that would mess up the time there was a bit, wouldn't it?
00:09:32The first train that came along there in the mouth of the tunnel stood One-Eyed Joe, with his arms
00:09:37upraised.
00:09:37Go back, go back, he tried.
00:09:39But the engine driver drove straight on.
00:09:41What, overcock-eyed Joe?
00:09:42And the next morning, his body was found on the line.
00:09:46And every night, when the moon gives light, the ghost of the miller is seen.
00:09:50As he walks the track with the sack on his back down to the black porheen.
00:09:55And the mill wheels turn, though the night is still.
00:09:58And the old lights flash from the ruined mill.
00:10:01He haunts the station.
00:10:03He haunts the hill and the land that lies between.
00:10:10Buggles, Kelly.
00:10:14Oh, I don't have your pardon.
00:10:16Thanks.
00:10:37Hey, it's just two miles to Buggles, Kelly, from here.
00:10:40I can't help it.
00:10:41Well, how do I get there?
00:10:42You walk.
00:10:43Follow this road round the Futterfucker Hill.
00:10:46Pass the witch's oak.
00:10:47Drop down into Hell's Hollow.
00:10:49Well, I only ask you a simple question.
00:10:50And the station's right in front of you.
00:10:52You can't miss it.
00:10:53Oh, well, thank you very much.
00:10:54Good night, dear.
00:10:55Good boy to you.
00:10:56Yes.
00:11:02Well, you're the funny-looking bird.
00:11:04Why, you, you flat-faced bully.
00:11:08Good night.
00:11:28See you later.
00:11:31Good night.
00:11:31Good night.
00:13:02The next train's gone.
00:13:07The next train's gone.
00:13:09What do you mean, next train's gone?
00:13:10There's no sense in that.
00:13:11It's like saying the last train that came in hasn't...
00:13:13Hasn't what?
00:13:14Well, hasn't it gone?
00:13:16Don't argue with me.
00:13:17Come out, let me in.
00:13:18Come out?
00:13:18What, at night?
00:13:19Not me.
00:13:20Aye, aye, aye.
00:13:30Oh, there you are.
00:13:31What, are you here again?
00:13:32Again?
00:13:32I haven't been away yet.
00:13:33What's the idea of keeping me out of my own station?
00:13:34Come out of me.
00:13:44Oh, what a station.
00:13:47Look at that.
00:13:48A bit of vicious, ain't you?
00:13:49I don't want any evidence from you.
00:13:50Who are you, anyway?
00:13:51Me?
00:13:51I'm Arbottle.
00:13:52Porter, shunter, signalman.
00:13:53Deputy Station Master when there isn't a Station Master, which is more open than not.
00:13:56Oh, well, there's one now, see?
00:13:58Where?
00:13:59Here, I'm a station Master.
00:14:01Where's your clock?
00:14:02What clock?
00:14:03Your presentation clock.
00:14:04How did you know I got one?
00:14:06Ah, they all bring them.
00:14:07Mung it with the others.
00:14:11They looked lovely when they knew, don't they?
00:14:14William Porter.
00:14:15Ah, another William.
00:14:17That was William O'Shea.
00:14:19Poor Bill.
00:14:20Why, what happened to him?
00:14:21They put him away.
00:14:21Had to.
00:14:22Oh.
00:14:24Mick McGuire.
00:14:25Well, why did he leave?
00:14:26Nobody knows.
00:14:26He went out after dark.
00:14:28Where to?
00:14:28Don't know.
00:14:29Never saw him again.
00:14:30But we heard him.
00:14:30At least Albert did.
00:14:31Albert?
00:14:32Who's Albert?
00:14:32He functions for me when I'm not here.
00:14:34Oh.
00:14:35Well, which is his clock?
00:14:36He hasn't got a clock.
00:14:37He's still alive.
00:14:38Hey, give me that back.
00:14:39Well, aren't you going to put it with the others?
00:14:40What amongst them?
00:14:41Yeah.
00:14:41There are a lot of tombstones.
00:14:46What's that?
00:14:47If it gives two owls, owls and a toot, it's Albert.
00:14:52Well, he's not afraid of the dark, anyway.
00:14:54Oh, he plays with the pixies.
00:14:56Oh, does he?
00:14:57Now, well, all that's going to stop from now on.
00:15:12Here's a sabbatur here, ma.
00:15:13Mine ready?
00:15:14Yeah.
00:15:23What's he want?
00:15:24New station, master.
00:15:27Go on, ask the cop, hey?
00:15:29Hey, never mind about my cop.
00:15:30You show a little more respect to your superiors.
00:15:32And put that back where you got it from.
00:15:36And take your cap off.
00:15:37And you.
00:15:39What have you got there?
00:15:39My supper beer.
00:15:40Have some?
00:15:41Certainly not.
00:15:42This place is far too free and easy altogether.
00:15:44I don't know where the man in my position
00:15:45and hobnobbing with his staff.
00:15:47You keep your place, and I'll keep mine.
00:15:49What is it, bitter?
00:15:51Bitter?
00:15:54Bitter?
00:15:56Bitter?
00:16:07Bitter?
00:16:14Hey, move over, I want to come out.
00:16:16You have to wait.
00:16:17I've got to empty this cap.
00:16:31Hey, who does she belong to?
00:16:33The where?
00:16:33Here.
00:16:34She's Harry.
00:16:35Oh, yes.
00:16:37I suppose that's her name, is it?
00:16:40Is something burning somewhere?
00:16:42It'll be Albert cooking the breakfast.
00:16:43Smells more like somebody cooking Albert.
00:16:57Ah, I think I'm going to like Bucklef Kelly.
00:16:59Yeah, in the daytime.
00:17:02Well, you've got a big cheese here.
00:17:03Yeah, this is where you sit.
00:17:05Ah, thank you.
00:17:09Where did this come from?
00:17:10Don't you say?
00:17:11No, it just says where it's going to.
00:17:14There, I say, what's the idea of this?
00:17:16I mean, tell me you're eating food that doesn't belong to you.
00:17:18We've got to eat some out.
00:17:19We haven't any places we've come to Ireland.
00:17:21Well, we can't starve, so we borrow things.
00:17:23Borrow?
00:17:24You mean you steal things from the railway?
00:17:26I wouldn't call it stealing.
00:17:28Call it stepping off the country.
00:17:31Danish?
00:17:31Yeah, not particularly which country either, are you?
00:17:33Well, that's all right.
00:17:34We paid for that.
00:17:35Oh, what did that cost you?
00:17:36Ticket to Belfast.
00:17:37A what?
00:17:38A ticket to Belfast.
00:17:39Yes, that's how we get everything.
00:17:41Good, ain't it?
00:17:42So that's it.
00:17:43You've been getting goods by giving away the company's tickets.
00:17:45Well, I've never heard of such a thing.
00:17:46It's absolutely dishonest.
00:17:47Do you understand you're in a position of trust here?
00:17:49The company came along and started checking up on their tickets.
00:17:52Wasn't there where they'd gone to?
00:17:53You'd be in a fine mess, wouldn't you?
00:17:54That's right.
00:17:55Well, this isn't right.
00:17:56In future, you'll make sure those tickets come back.
00:17:57How?
00:17:58Well, give them the return tickets.
00:18:02Nice piece of bacon, this.
00:18:04Danish, too?
00:18:04No, this is homegrown.
00:18:06Yeah, some sauce.
00:18:09Well, go on, son.
00:18:10We'll be shocked.
00:18:11Tests, sir.
00:18:13But don't keep the customers waiting.
00:18:21It's Murphy called for his pigs.
00:18:23Well, give them to him.
00:18:24Can't, not now.
00:18:25What do you mean, not now?
00:18:26If there is probably, he can have them any time he likes.
00:18:28Well, not all of them.
00:18:30Not all of them?
00:18:30Well, why not all of them?
00:18:33Where'd you get this bacon?
00:18:35That's right.
00:18:36Well, that's a nice state of a fear.
00:18:38He's not only steal the company's goods and pawn their tickets,
00:18:40but he actually picks things from a customer.
00:18:41Well, who's going to tell him?
00:18:42You are?
00:18:43You're the station master.
00:18:44I'll do no such thing.
00:18:45That's not part of a station master's duty.
00:18:47A man comes here, leaves his pigs with the company.
00:18:48When he comes back, what does he find?
00:18:49Finds you meeting them.
00:18:51Well, how was I to know?
00:18:53Well, somebody better tell him before he knocks that door down.
00:18:55Oh, I'll tell him.
00:18:56I should report this to the company.
00:18:58That's what it is great.
00:18:59Well, sitting there like a couple of pigs eating.
00:19:01Well, you're a pair of cannibals.
00:19:02That's what you are.
00:19:13Good morning.
00:19:14Oh, so there you are.
00:19:15Yes, well, what can I do for you, Mr...
00:19:16I am Smurfian.
00:19:17I want me pigs.
00:19:18Oh, have you got your voucher?
00:19:19Is this what you mean?
00:19:20Yes.
00:19:20Are you sure you left them at the station?
00:19:22Of course, I'm sure.
00:19:23Come on now.
00:19:23Let's have them.
00:19:24Well, they've been here a long time, you know.
00:19:26Used to come sooner.
00:19:27See, we've had rather cold spell, and pigs are only human after all.
00:19:30I couldn't come sooner.
00:19:31My wife's had Quincy's.
00:19:32What, like that woman in Canada?
00:19:34Have you got two pigs of mine here, or haven't you?
00:19:37Well, as a matter of fact, I, uh, I will give you a moment.
00:19:43We've got them.
00:19:44What, are they here?
00:19:45Yes.
00:19:45Nine?
00:19:46Yes.
00:19:46Where are they?
00:19:47In there.
00:19:48I thought you said, we need them.
00:19:49Oh.
00:19:50Oh, well, would you come and identify your property, Mr. Murphy?
00:19:52I will.
00:19:55There you are.
00:20:03Hey, it's just two here.
00:20:04Who's the other one belong to?
00:20:05Him.
00:20:06Where's six?
00:20:07Ah, yes.
00:20:10Well, Mr. Murphy, let me congratulate you.
00:20:12Your pigs have had a visit from the stock.
00:20:13Looks as if they had a visit from the butcher, too.
00:20:15Where's the rest of them?
00:20:17Eh?
00:20:17What about the litter?
00:20:18Oh, don't worry about that.
00:20:19We'll clear it up.
00:20:20I mean the litter of pigs.
00:20:21Oh, there it is.
00:20:24But you don't call one a litter, do you?
00:20:25Pussy Jane never furrows less than Seatham.
00:20:28Well, you can't expect them to keep it up all the time, can you?
00:20:31I wants me property.
00:20:32Oh, take it.
00:20:33Two pigs, that's all it says here.
00:20:34I wants me litter, too.
00:20:35Tis the law of nature.
00:20:36Ah, but it's not the law of the railway.
00:20:37What doesn't go in can't come out.
00:20:38I mean, what you don't put in, you can't take out, can you?
00:20:41I mean, it's here for yourself.
00:20:43There you are.
00:20:44The company should be reliable in the aggregate for misdelivered attention.
00:20:50Mr.
00:20:50It's left on the premises.
00:20:51There you are, left on the premises.
00:20:52You left two pigs.
00:20:53You can't get there on that.
00:20:54There's a pig staff.
00:20:54He has stolen my litter.
00:20:56I've through the company.
00:20:56I'm sorry, Mr. Murphy, but rules are rules, little or no little.
00:20:59And I'm acting strictly within the letter of the law.
00:21:01Yes, they mean, Blackard, I'll settle with you.
00:21:03Well, in the meantime, you might just settle this bill, will you please?
00:21:06A bill?
00:21:06What the?
00:21:07Oh, a keep of two pigs for one month, 15 shillings.
00:21:09What?
00:21:10Well, I'll tell you what I'll do.
00:21:11I'll take the small pig in full settlement.
00:21:13So you're not only stale me pigs, but you charge me 15 shillings for the privilege.
00:21:18Oh, it's a rule of the company.
00:21:19You can't break it.
00:21:19Oh, no.
00:21:20Oh, well, here's where I break something belonging to the company.
00:21:24Hello?
00:21:25Has he gone?
00:21:26No.
00:21:27Oh, you're...
00:21:28This is the station.
00:21:29What can I do for you?
00:21:30What's that?
00:21:31A fire?
00:21:32Where?
00:21:33At the farm?
00:21:35Whose farm?
00:21:36No, good gracious.
00:21:37What are you talking about?
00:21:39What?
00:21:39The haystacks gone?
00:21:41And the barns?
00:21:42Whose barns?
00:21:43Oh, dear me.
00:21:44And the house.
00:21:44Whose house?
00:21:45Yours.
00:21:46House Mrs. Murphy and the Quincy's.
00:21:51Hey, what was all that about?
00:21:52Never you mind me.
00:21:53You send those pigs back to Murphy's Farm before they'll cause me more trouble.
00:21:56And if you see a stock flying about here, close something at it.
00:22:03What's that?
00:22:03Oh, that'll be the express.
00:22:04What, a train?
00:22:05Good heavens, when is it due?
00:22:06Ten minutes, but it won't stop.
00:22:07What do you mean it won't stop?
00:22:08It will.
00:22:09Oh, no, it won't.
00:22:09It only stops at the important stations.
00:22:11Yes, well, in future this is going to be an important station.
00:22:13It's going to stop today.
00:22:33Come on, close to me, they're doing nothing.
00:22:34There's a train coming through.
00:22:35Come on, do something.
00:22:36Stand up in the face a bit.
00:22:37Come on.
00:22:38Hey, get those things off the line.
00:22:40It ain't a thing.
00:22:40It's a mallet.
00:22:45I would say they're washing off the line.
00:22:46Oh, it's not dry.
00:22:47Well, who cares?
00:22:48There's a station, not a laundry.
00:23:02Ah, see?
00:23:03Oh, you want to have cop it?
00:23:04Stop me in a train for no reason.
00:23:05You mind your own business.
00:23:06I'm station master here, and if I want a train to stop, it stops.
00:23:09Oh, the gate.
00:23:10Where's the wheel that opens that gate?
00:23:11Over there.
00:23:21Is the gate opening?
00:23:22Yeah.
00:23:27Opening now?
00:23:28No.
00:23:29Well, you ought to have turned this wheel four times.
00:23:31That wheel don't work.
00:23:33What do you mean, sir?
00:23:34Let me break my back, shall we?
00:23:35You have to open it by hand.
00:23:37Well, why do you say so?
00:23:42Oh, come on and do this padlock.
00:23:44Can't.
00:23:44We lost the key.
00:23:45Well, how'd he open the gate?
00:23:46You have to lift it off the engine.
00:23:47Oh.
00:23:48Huh?
00:23:59Now, you go out for the other one.
00:24:00Yeah.
00:24:02Hold the signal.
00:24:13Here, here, here, here, here, here, here.
00:24:14Give me my tomatoes.
00:24:16Well, in fact, everything's out at a place like this.
00:24:17What do you think of it?
00:24:17Skew gardens?
00:24:19Here, here.
00:24:20I brought these up by hand.
00:24:21Yes, when they're coming down by foot.
00:24:22Oh, no, they're not.
00:24:23Come on, now.
00:24:25Leave it back.
00:24:26Leave it alone.
00:24:27Leave it back.
00:24:37Well, what did I get out of the dog?
00:24:39This is a distress signal, I think.
00:24:47Whoa, honey.
00:25:08What are you stopping my train for?
00:25:10Well, I'm the new stationmaster here.
00:25:11Well, what about it?
00:25:12Well, I thought I'd give you a chance of making my acquaintance.
00:25:14What?
00:25:15Do you think I want my train held up every time some dirty little hall changes its staff?
00:25:19Dirty little hall?
00:25:20Don't you talk like that about my station?
00:25:22Station, do you call it?
00:25:23It's a nice order.
00:25:24It's dump, that's what it is.
00:25:25You don't think any decent train to stop here, do you?
00:25:27Ah, well, they're going to stop here.
00:25:28I'm not going to have my station, you know.
00:25:29Dirty little dumpy dean.
00:25:31Take your train, anyway.
00:25:32Take your hands off my train.
00:25:33Well, you take your feet off my platform.
00:25:35Now, listen, you're wasting me time.
00:25:36Go on, I will.
00:25:36Can't you move up a bit?
00:25:37No.
00:25:39Can't you move up a couple of yards?
00:25:40Oh, go away.
00:25:41You're only a couple of inches, then.
00:25:43Get away with you.
00:25:44What's the trouble here?
00:25:44Yeah, what's all the noise about it?
00:25:45Goodbye, friend.
00:25:49There, the needliest dirty is when he took them off.
00:25:57Right away, Mike.
00:25:58Hey, wait a minute.
00:25:59Here.
00:25:59You can't tell him I don't wait like that.
00:26:01I'm the station master here.
00:26:02All aboard for Ballyhooley, Ballycarrie, Ballybubbion.
00:26:05Go ahead, Mike.
00:26:06Hey, stay where you are, Mike.
00:26:07You run along and play.
00:26:08When I'm ready.
00:26:09All aboard for Bally, Ballybuggles and all the other Ballyplaces.
00:26:12You don't even know where the train's going to.
00:26:14Why should I?
00:26:14When it leaves here, I'll watch my hands of it.
00:26:16All right, Mike.
00:26:17Push off.
00:26:18He goes when I tell him.
00:26:19Go ahead, Mike.
00:26:20I don't want any impregnance from you.
00:26:23You big, sloppy-looking misfits.
00:26:24Why don't you get a proper hat?
00:26:27What do you mean, a proper hat?
00:26:29Right away, Lally.
00:26:30Your station smells like a backyard dustbin.
00:26:32It isn't even on the map.
00:26:33Why, you guard you.
00:26:35Let me.
00:26:36All right.
00:26:37And you mind you stopping?
00:26:38You come here next night, and there'll be trouble if you don't.
00:26:40See that?
00:26:46It's not on the map, indeed.
00:26:48It's not a source.
00:26:52Oh, well, maybe it could do with a coat of paint.
00:26:56Hey, have you knocked those up?
00:26:57No, I made a mistake and got out of the long station.
00:26:59Oh, that's all right, then.
00:27:01Well, don't stand there.
00:27:02Go on.
00:27:02Gel some beans.
00:27:25Oh, it's my pension.
00:27:27A letter for the station, master.
00:27:28What are you doing to the station?
00:27:29Putting it on the map.
00:27:30Gotting this idea.
00:27:31It's all right.
00:27:32No answer.
00:27:37Our model.
00:27:37Eh?
00:27:40That's another way to spell it.
00:27:41There are two L's in, Kelly.
00:27:42Contra that.
00:27:43Thirty letters.
00:27:43Unlucky.
00:27:44Oh.
00:27:45Well, uh, well, take one of the K's out.
00:27:47Nobody will notice.
00:27:48Eh?
00:27:55You're wasting your time.
00:27:57What's that?
00:27:58You're wasting your time.
00:28:00Well, what do you think you're doing there?
00:28:02Just watching you wasting your time.
00:28:04All right, well, you waste your time and I'll waste mine.
00:28:07What are you burying?
00:28:08I'm not burying anything.
00:28:09I'm planting lobelia.
00:28:11You're wasting your time.
00:28:13Why?
00:28:14You won't be here when they come up.
00:28:17Hey, can't you get rid of him?
00:28:18Is he a relation of yours?
00:28:19No, but we both go out for the same girl.
00:28:22Oh, well, uh, let's ignore him.
00:28:27Here, you go and wait for the office in case my Belfast call comes through.
00:28:33You're wasting your time.
00:28:36All right, I'll buy it.
00:28:37What's the answer?
00:28:38There wasn't a breath of wind last night.
00:28:40Well, what's that going to do with me?
00:28:42Yet the sails of the windmill went round and round and round.
00:28:48Good day, Julia.
00:29:01Hey, what are you doing to that machine?
00:29:02Taking a bit of chocolate.
00:29:03Well, what's the idea of kicking it?
00:29:04What do you think the stock's for?
00:29:05To blow down if the kick don't work.
00:29:06To blow down if the kick don't work?
00:29:08Here, I'll tell you something.
00:29:09What?
00:29:09Tell if I was ringing.
00:29:10Get out of it.
00:29:17Hello?
00:29:18Belfast speaking.
00:29:19You wanted us.
00:29:20Who is that?
00:29:21This is Buggles Kelly.
00:29:23What's that you said?
00:29:24Buggles Kelly.
00:29:26B for basket.
00:29:27Hey?
00:29:27What?
00:29:28Who did?
00:29:28I did not.
00:29:29I said this is Buggles Kelly.
00:29:31That's the name of my station.
00:29:32Oh, it's you again.
00:29:33Well, what is it this time?
00:29:35All right, I'll put you through to Mr. Brock.
00:29:37Mr. Brock.
00:29:40Yes?
00:29:42Porter?
00:29:43Where?
00:29:44I'm not a railway porter.
00:29:45I'm Porter the station master.
00:29:47No, not both.
00:29:47Only one.
00:29:49I'm station master porter at Buggles on your railway.
00:29:52What the devil do you want now?
00:29:53I've already sent you 200 posters and 50 gallons of paint.
00:29:56What have I got down there?
00:29:57A circus?
00:29:58Oh, you want to run an excursion?
00:30:00Where to?
00:30:01Well, I don't know yet, but there must be a lot of nice places in Ireland.
00:30:04I mean, there's Kilkenny, where the cats come from, and Connie Myler, where they have
00:30:08all the bogs.
00:30:09Then there's Limerick, the home of poetry.
00:30:12Limerick.
00:30:13You know, there was a young lady of Gloucester.
00:30:15How many tickets put yourself?
00:30:17What shall I say?
00:30:19Who's sweetheart double-crossed her?
00:30:21Who's sweetheart double-crossed her?
00:30:22What are you talking about?
00:30:23The young lady from Gloucester.
00:30:24She said...
00:30:25Listen, I'll kick that one tooth of yours out and leave you stark naked, you old fool.
00:30:28No, not you, no, no.
00:30:30Listen, how many people can we get to go to Connie Myler?
00:30:32Well, there's the old party from the church.
00:30:34There's the church party.
00:30:35And the girl at the post office.
00:30:36And the post office staff.
00:30:38And my bird.
00:30:39And his bird.
00:30:39Listen, get out of it.
00:30:40Get out.
00:30:43Well, I can't give you the exact number at the moment.
00:30:46But in rough figures, I should say quite a lot.
00:30:49Oh, I should think two carriages would be enough with what we've got.
00:30:52Oh, just one other little thing we shall want.
00:30:54An engine.
00:30:59Hey, what rolling stock have we got?
00:31:00Got plenty of coal trucks.
00:31:01Well, you can't send people on an excursion in coal trucks.
00:31:03I mean carriages.
00:31:04You can't send people on an excursion in carriages.
00:31:06Why not?
00:31:06But we ain't got any.
00:31:07Oh, you go and play with your plastic seat.
00:31:09Hey, there's an old carriage over there.
00:31:10But I don't think it'll roll.
00:31:12I mean, everything on this station is either too old or it won't work.
00:31:15And you're both.
00:31:16Go on, roll a pair of you.
00:31:17Go on.
00:31:29Here you are.
00:31:33Well, all we've got to do is to get it up from amongst those trucks.
00:31:35That's right.
00:31:36What's right?
00:31:37All we've got to do is to get it up from amongst those trucks.
00:31:39Well, I've just said that.
00:31:40Oh, no, I heard you.
00:31:41Well, get your coat off and get to it.
00:31:42Come on.
00:31:52We should need Gladstone.
00:31:54What are you talking about?
00:31:55Of course you don't know who Gladstone is, do you?
00:31:56What do you mean the matter about the bags?
00:31:57Oh, Gladstone's our engine.
00:31:59Well, why do you tell me we've got an engine?
00:32:00We've never asked us.
00:32:01Oh, come on.
00:32:02Leave me to it.
00:32:02I'll bet you stay here in all those wheels.
00:32:04Haven't got no plan.
00:32:05Well, get one out of the crew.
00:32:11There she is.
00:32:13Isn't she a beauty?
00:32:18What is it, the rocket?
00:32:20That's Gladstone.
00:32:21Lovely lines, ain't she?
00:32:26Where does he go?
00:32:27How do you think he's got here?
00:32:28I thought maybe that stalker brought it.
00:32:30Here, wait a minute.
00:32:31Let me go first.
00:32:32She knows me.
00:32:39Well, what's all the decorations for?
00:32:40We leave the map at him.
00:32:41Blimey, you just heard of it.
00:32:43Well, where's the stalk starter?
00:32:44Well, you can't start it till you get it on the boil.
00:32:47Well, come on, do something about it.
00:32:48Come on.
00:32:48All right.
00:32:50Oh, good morning.
00:32:51Got a match?
00:32:52Yes.
00:33:01Now, I'll start it.
00:33:02You can't start it until that hand points to 80.
00:33:04How do you get it to 80?
00:33:05It's Stoker.
00:33:06Well, where's the coal?
00:33:07In the Scuttle.
00:33:07Oh.
00:33:08Oh, it's not enough coal there to boil an egg.
00:33:10There's some wood in the tender.
00:33:12Oh, that's all right.
00:33:12Here, here, you can't destroy these.
00:33:15They're company properties.
00:33:16Destination boards.
00:33:17Look, Belfast.
00:33:18Tipperary.
00:33:18Dublin.
00:33:20Cheltenham.
00:33:20Oh, you can burn that one.
00:33:21Wait.
00:33:22Yes?
00:33:23I've hauled it.
00:33:24But I don't see how you're going to get the carriage out in the middle of those trucks.
00:33:26We're going to shun it out.
00:33:27Of course, you know what the trouble is, don't you?
00:33:29Know what?
00:33:29Those trucks never would have been put there in the first place.
00:33:31Well, I know that, you old fool.
00:33:32The point is they've got to be shifted.
00:33:33Come on.
00:33:38Now, look here.
00:33:39Look.
00:33:39There's the carriage there, you see?
00:33:41Now, turn out your pockets, Albert.
00:33:42Come on.
00:33:44That's right.
00:33:45Now, that'll be, uh, that'll be the line of trucks there.
00:33:48You see?
00:33:48This is the side in here, isn't it?
00:33:50Oh, that's the station.
00:33:50You're on the wrong side.
00:33:51Get over here.
00:33:52That's right.
00:33:56Now, see, where were we?
00:34:00Now, there's Gratson.
00:34:01Gratson, these are the trucks, and that's the carriage.
00:34:03Now, the problem is to get it out.
00:34:04Well, if we had a crane, we could lift it out.
00:34:06If we had a crane, with some dynamite, we could blow it out.
00:34:10And you shut up, too.
00:34:13Now, I'm Gratson.
00:34:14Now, I'm Gratson.
00:34:16Well, we can't have two Gratson's.
00:34:17Here, you can be the rover carriage.
00:34:19If I can't be Gratson, I'm not going to play.
00:34:21That's the, uh...
00:34:24Well, you've got me all mixed up now.
00:34:25All right, if you want to be clever, you show us.
00:34:27Well, I'll take Gratson's here.
00:34:28How can Gratson be there?
00:34:29I'll tell you where Gratson is.
00:34:30It's there!
00:34:42Stop.
00:34:43That's it?
00:34:43Yeah.
00:34:44Yeah, we've got to stop Gratson, too.
00:34:45Come on.
00:34:47Come on, don't let him get away from you.
00:34:52Hurry up.
00:34:56Don't let him get away.
00:35:00Hurry up.
00:35:00Come on.
00:35:01Hurry up.
00:35:06Come on, stop her.
00:35:07How about to run on the sleeper?
00:35:09Albert.
00:35:10Get ahead of me and head it off.
00:35:12Come on.
00:35:13Don't let him...
00:35:20This.
00:35:21Well, good morning, gentlemen.
00:35:23Just a little, uh, staff drill in case one of our engines ever got away.
00:35:27You'll be the new stationmaster, I'm thinking.
00:35:29I am, and...
00:35:30We represent the tradesmen of Buggles Kelly, and we want some trades.
00:35:34Oh, trains.
00:35:35Oh, yes.
00:35:36Well, we've got plenty of them here.
00:35:37But it didn't have one of them stopped.
00:35:39What?
00:35:40Huh.
00:35:40You mean, didn't stop.
00:35:41Why, we'll have a train stop here on, um, on Tuesday.
00:35:44Well, where do you want to go to?
00:35:46Just to the place as mentioned, on them tickets.
00:35:49What?
00:35:49All of them?
00:35:50No less.
00:35:51We've supplied goods to the value of them tickets.
00:35:53And you've either got to provide us with trains, or give us our goods back.
00:35:56Oh, that's absolute nonsense.
00:35:57We don't go to our customers and demand our journeys back.
00:36:00I hope, aren't they?
00:36:01We'll hear what your head office has to say.
00:36:03Good day to you.
00:36:04Oh, gentlemen, wait a minute.
00:36:05Wait a minute.
00:36:06Don't go.
00:36:07I didn't say I wouldn't do it.
00:36:08As a matter of fact, I'm making up a special now.
00:36:09I'm just waiting for the okay from Belfast.
00:36:12Oh, excuse me.
00:36:13My engine.
00:36:15Could you come back tonight?
00:36:16What?
00:36:17Here?
00:36:17At night?
00:36:18We will not.
00:36:19Oh.
00:36:20Well, I'm very busy just now.
00:36:22Where could I see you?
00:36:22You know Barney's Bar.
00:36:24I know Barney's Bull.
00:36:25Oh, Barney's Bar.
00:36:25Yes, of course, the local.
00:36:26Well, I can see you there.
00:36:28But just now, I've got some shunting to do.
00:36:29So, uh, if you don't mind, I'll shunt off.
00:36:38There's a signal.
00:36:40Outside.
00:36:40Oh, side.
00:36:43Oh, side.
00:36:47Oh, side.
00:36:51Oh, side.
00:37:07how did that happen do you know where you sent those fucks yes down there you've done it
00:37:17well we've got the carriage anyway yes but if you want to keep it you better get it off the
00:37:20main line why expect to be here any minute well what are you waiting for go on
00:37:42now you've done it you've got to let all the steam out well whatever we can always make some more
00:37:46when
00:37:47we want it yes but we want it now the carriage is still on the main line
00:37:53well don't stand in there get out and push
00:38:01here wait a minute wait a minute i'm coming here
00:38:06here wait a minute wait a minute here here what day this is our last if we don't get this
00:38:11thing shifted
00:38:11it's the 19th here see what it says here on april the 19th summertime will start clocks should be
00:38:16adjusted accordingly hey i think we got last time yeah that's quite correct hey that's addressed to
00:38:22me yes that's right what's the idea of opening my letters well i couldn't have told you it was wrong
00:38:25if i hadn't opened it well if you should you leave my letters alone will you to adjust the service
00:38:29to
00:38:30the new time the 11 o'clock express on this day will run at 12 o'clock summertime well what
00:38:34are we
00:38:34hurrying about we've got two hours i can make out we got two hours well we put the clocks back
00:38:37an hour
00:38:38the train's an hour late it's two hours isn't it now you put the tops forward and the train back
00:38:41well what do we get then got the express coming any minute what are you talking about listen if the
00:38:45trains are now late how can it be coming now it's summertime summertime you're a fool's potty
00:38:50summertime or wintertime if a train's lady's late yeah that's right you thought you put the clock
00:38:54forward well if the clocks go forward and the train's already gone no no no you put the clocks
00:38:58back of course you do you lengthen the day by taking an hour off the end and sticking on the
00:39:01beginning no no you take an hour off the beginning and stick it on the end that's wintertime
00:39:04now wintertime you put them back well that's what i said oh you said you put it back for
00:39:07summertime yes that's right it ain't you put the clock forward if you make the train early oh would you
00:39:12believe it i know what i'm talking about you don't put the clock forward you put them back
00:39:15and you put the train back i see you put everything back yes i'm sorry you're all right well of
00:39:21course
00:39:21i'm right the train won't be here for another two hours
00:39:37that's wonderful i said we should have put the clocks forward
00:39:58hey what are you doing a trick fill them up again i'll show you another i'll bet you would
00:40:05hey what about the excursions only tickets no oh give me here sell some nobody wants to go to
00:40:10connemara that's because you haven't tried to sell them in the right way all right you have a go
00:40:14double one to get thank you
00:40:26it's been a nice day it has that well it's one of those days when it would be nice to
00:40:30be a connemara
00:40:31it would that you know connemara indeed i do you have an uncle there oh have you oh have a
00:40:36drink
00:40:36will you thanks i'll have a point of four thank you yes grand old place connemara it is that
00:40:42find someone in the river yes rouse on the moors and deer and the hills that's the chief of the
00:40:46town here oh you're help thank you good help so you've an uncle in connemara well i'm uh i'm
00:40:53running an excursion there tomorrow i would like to pay your uncle a surprise visit that wouldn't
00:40:58surprise him why not sure he's in the cemetery you're wasting your time you frozen face old oh good
00:41:11evening gentlemen now what about it hey oh yes yes well gentlemen i've been going into the
00:41:17matter of these tickets of yours and i think i've got a solution we don't want a solution
00:41:21that's a good old train yes well in a way that's not trains but i've got a train well gentlemen
00:41:27i've
00:41:27arranged an excursion for you and all you've got to do is to give me your old tickets and i'll
00:41:30give
00:41:30you these new ones in exchange an excursion is it and will it be after visiting all the places
00:41:34mentioned on our list oh well i couldn't guarantee that you see i've arranged the excursion to go to
00:41:40connemara connemara where's that what connemara well it's um you go down the line and you take the
00:41:47first tunnel on the list and how about my ticket to tipperary oh it's a long way to tipperary now
00:41:52the reason i'm sending you to connemara it's my mind about connemara it's bally bun you know you want to
00:41:57be asked oh perhaps i can arrange that later now connemara listen if you come to my shop and ask
00:42:01for
00:42:01turnips i give you turnips i don't try to give you carrots i'm asking for tipperary and it's
00:42:05tipperary where i want to go oh i don't don't get excited don't get excited i mean if you set
00:42:10your
00:42:11heart on tipperary well that's i can arrange towards the excursion well that sounds reasonable reasonable
00:42:16indeed and me with a ticket for bally bunion well i i'm only trying to please kelly did you not
00:42:22hear the
00:42:22gentleman say we were going to tipperary at the blazes with your tipperary and your bally bunion what am i
00:42:27going to do with my cock well we're going to bally bunion bally bunion is the finest place in ireland
00:42:32what you're not gonna stand for that are you are you not bally bunion is the finest place in the
00:42:36world
00:42:37and that's on your throat well what are you gonna say to that bally bunion i'd sooner go to connemara
00:42:41and that's bad enough what's that you're saying about the hometown connemara you keep out of this and
00:42:47mind your own business well he can't talk to you like that can he and neither can you
00:42:53look what is that your beer would you mind stepping this way for a minute i'd be delighted
00:42:58go on flit on the tail of me coat all right knock that off
00:43:09go on flit on the tail of me
00:43:15and i come from dublin
00:43:18OK, go.
00:43:19It's all right, there you have come on.
00:43:24Let's go.
00:43:30Here it is.
00:43:36Ah!
00:43:38Come on!
00:43:42Hey!ежek.
00:44:12Oh, I'm sorry, I can't get down.
00:44:15I was about to send for you, Mr. Porter.
00:44:17Take a drink.
00:44:18Oh, well, as a matter of fact, I...
00:44:19Take a drink!
00:44:21Yes.
00:44:22He has long life to you, Mr. Stationmaster.
00:44:25Same to you, mister.
00:44:27I didn't catch your name.
00:44:28Call me Joe.
00:44:29Joe, yes.
00:44:32What's this train you got running tomorrow?
00:44:34Oh, that?
00:44:34Oh, it's a little idea of my own.
00:44:35It's a special excursion, non-stop solution.
00:44:37Going east or west?
00:44:38It's going both ways.
00:44:39East going and west coming back.
00:44:41It's going to Connemara.
00:44:42Connemara!
00:44:42The very place.
00:44:44How many tickets do you have sold?
00:44:45Oh, let me see now.
00:44:48Have you sold any?
00:44:49No.
00:44:50Right.
00:44:50I'll take the lot.
00:44:51What, the whole two hundred?
00:44:53By you, you must have a large family.
00:44:55Oh, no.
00:44:55It's a football team I'm taking.
00:44:57The Buggles Kelly Wednesday.
00:44:59The who?
00:44:59The Buggles Kelly Wednesday.
00:45:00We're playing a match.
00:45:01Well, on a Tuesday.
00:45:02How funny.
00:45:03Well, what about the money?
00:45:04What?
00:45:05Oh, it's just a little formality, that's all.
00:45:07I'll tell you when I come back.
00:45:08Win or lose?
00:45:09Win or lose.
00:45:09And I want that train at six o'clock in the morning.
00:45:12Oh, no, that's impossible.
00:45:13My excursion's not running till 10.
00:45:15Very well.
00:45:15That's just too bad.
00:45:16The deal's off.
00:45:17Oh, don't say that.
00:45:18I'll see that it runs early for you.
00:45:20And how about the doings?
00:45:23That'll be all.
00:45:24And don't forget, six o'clock in the morning.
00:45:27Six o'clock.
00:45:27Yes.
00:45:30Good night.
00:45:30Good luck to the Wednesday.
00:46:07Hey, come on, come on.
00:46:09What's all this?
00:46:09He's drunk and he's out.
00:46:11Oh, that's a nice thing.
00:46:12What do you do with my station trolley?
00:46:14He always brings it.
00:46:15That's how he gets home.
00:46:16Albert pushes him.
00:46:17Oh, does he?
00:46:17Who's going to push him tonight?
00:46:19It looks like you are.
00:46:20Ha, ha.
00:46:21Yeah.
00:46:25Pardon me.
00:46:39Hey, Albert.
00:46:40Albert, get up.
00:46:41Get up.
00:46:42You've got to help me get this train away.
00:46:43Hey.
00:46:45Is it right what Pat tells me?
00:46:47You're starting the train now.
00:46:48Of course it's right.
00:46:49Go on, hurry up.
00:46:49The passengers will be here any minute.
00:46:52Get a move up.
00:46:53Get into your cab.
00:46:55Oh, good morning, gentlemen.
00:46:56Morning.
00:46:57Tickets, please.
00:46:58Morning.
00:46:59Tickets, please.
00:47:00Good morning.
00:47:00Tickets, please.
00:47:01Good morning, sir.
00:47:02Tickets, please.
00:47:03Good morning.
00:47:03Come on.
00:47:03Hurry up.
00:47:04Good morning, sir.
00:47:05Tickets, please.
00:47:06All aboard for fast, dumb, stop, special, express.
00:47:10Dining, car, saloon, train, to Collymore.
00:47:13All aboard.
00:47:14Tickets, please.
00:47:15Oh, I've got them.
00:47:16Hey, what's that?
00:47:17You can't take long as I have an excursion.
00:47:19Oh, those are the gold posts.
00:47:20We all must take our own.
00:47:22Oh, I see.
00:47:22Oh, that's all right.
00:47:23Say, what's in that?
00:47:24Oh, those are lemons for half time.
00:47:26Oh, I see.
00:47:28You won't put that on the rack, will you?
00:47:30Already?
00:47:31Sure.
00:47:31Let it go.
00:47:42Hey, you come here.
00:47:45What are we waiting for?
00:47:46Have you got to do all that?
00:47:47Oh, yes, very important.
00:47:49Still, if you don't know how they, perhaps you wouldn't mind taking them and clipping them on the way.
00:47:59Get it, now.
00:48:18Hello, Blackham.
00:48:19This is Buckles Kelly reporting excursion away.
00:48:22What excursion?
00:48:23There's nothing under my schedule for four hours.
00:48:25I don't care about your schedule.
00:48:26Expect my excursion any minute.
00:48:32Hey, hey, come on, get up.
00:48:34Get out of it.
00:48:35Come on.
00:48:36Get up.
00:48:37It's lying in bed at this time.
00:48:40Get up.
00:48:41What do you think it is, a rest home?
00:48:43What's the idea?
00:48:44I'll show you what the idea is.
00:48:46Think I want to run this station by myself?
00:48:47Look at this block.
00:48:48Look at it.
00:48:49What a nice day of a fair.
00:48:50Sleepy for this hour.
00:48:51Come on, get up.
00:48:52Come on.
00:48:55Now, day don't start till 8 o'clock.
00:48:57Your day starts when mine starts.
00:48:59Your house has got to conform to the prescriptive, the vital regulation.
00:49:03You've got to get up and I'll tell you.
00:49:04Go on.
00:49:20Here.
00:49:21What are you doing?
00:49:22What are you doing?
00:49:22It looks like I'm doing anything around here.
00:49:24I've just had to go and get that train off by myself.
00:49:26Huh?
00:49:26What train?
00:49:27Here.
00:49:28What train?
00:49:28Well, the train's just gone out.
00:49:30Yeah, there ain't been no train out of here since last Tuesday.
00:49:32You should be saying I don't know what I'm talking about.
00:49:34Well, I'm saying it now.
00:49:35Yeah, I never heard no saying go out.
00:49:37Or me.
00:49:37Well, you weren't in a fit condition to hear anything.
00:49:39I've heard of you.
00:49:41I'll attend to that.
00:49:44Hello, station master Buckle Skelly speaking.
00:49:46What's this special train that you say has just left your place?
00:49:49It has not.
00:49:50Well, it left here at six o'clock.
00:49:51I know.
00:49:52It was six because I, uh, I looked at our clocks.
00:49:54Are you sure you haven't seen it?
00:49:55Oh, well, maybe it's had a puncture or something.
00:49:58What do you mean, am I sure it left?
00:49:59Of course I am.
00:50:00I saw it off itself.
00:50:01Don't you talk to me like that.
00:50:04You let me tell you that...
00:50:05Hello?
00:50:05Hello?
00:50:07Oh.
00:50:11Yeah, it's funny.
00:50:12Bracken Junction says the train hasn't come through yet.
00:50:14Of course it hasn't.
00:50:14There never was any train.
00:50:15Hey, do you think I don't know a train when I see one?
00:50:17I've seen some funny things after a night at Barney's Bar.
00:50:20I suppose you didn't think you saw any passengers on this train you think you saw?
00:50:23Of course I did.
00:50:23They were the whole of the Buckle Skelly Wednesday football team.
00:50:25They're going to play a cup tie.
00:50:26There's only one football team here, the Swiss.
00:50:28And they won't go without me.
00:50:29Why not?
00:50:30I'm there centre-forward.
00:50:31Listen, will you do me a favour?
00:50:33Yeah?
00:50:33Well, tomorrow, just before the express comes, go to sleep on the rails.
00:50:36If it's one of your trains, it won't hurt him.
00:50:38So you still don't believe me?
00:50:39Well, listen.
00:50:39I clicked all the tickets and the clippings will be on the platform now.
00:50:42I'll go and get them to prove it to you.
00:50:49Hello?
00:50:49Look here.
00:50:50I've held the down express for four minutes.
00:50:52Has that special train of yours come back?
00:50:54Or what's happened to it?
00:50:57He's holding up the express.
00:50:59What shall I tell him?
00:50:59Tell him to let it through.
00:51:06You tell him.
00:51:09Hello, is that Bracken?
00:51:10That's the express room.
00:51:12Oh, the excursion isn't leaving until ten o'clock.
00:51:14Oh, the old man.
00:51:15Oh, he had a sick night.
00:51:16Been seeing things.
00:51:17Yeah.
00:51:18Okay, sits us.
00:51:20He says he's got a report then.
00:51:22Poor old governor.
00:51:23Yeah, he's going like the others.
00:51:25There'll be another clock here soon.
00:51:26Yeah.
00:51:28Yeah, we'd better humour him.
00:51:31The clippings are not there now.
00:51:33Of course they're not.
00:51:33What do you mean, of course they're not?
00:51:34They were there.
00:51:35Of course they were.
00:51:36Well, the wind must have blown them away.
00:51:37Of course it must.
00:51:38What's the matter with you two?
00:51:39Do you think I'm barmy?
00:51:39Of course we don't.
00:51:41Now, understand this.
00:51:41I clipped those tickets.
00:51:42The train left at six o'clock and I saw it off.
00:51:44And don't say, of course you did.
00:51:46Then where's it now?
00:51:46Between here and Bracken.
00:51:47Well, soon no.
00:51:49Why?
00:51:50Well, go on now.
00:51:51But you tell him.
00:51:51Well, it's like this.
00:51:52If you had a drain.
00:51:53And a rabbit went down it.
00:51:54And you weren't sure the rabbit went down it or not.
00:51:56What would you do?
00:51:57Send for the plumber.
00:51:57What's this got to do with my train?
00:51:59Well, coming to that, you bung a ferret in.
00:52:01A what?
00:52:01A ferret.
00:52:02What, in my train?
00:52:02Yes, in the drain.
00:52:03If it comes out the other end with blood on its nose, you know that...
00:52:06You know that somebody's punched it.
00:52:07That's what's going to happen to you.
00:52:08No, you know that the rabbit's there.
00:52:09And if it comes out the other end with no blood on its nose,
00:52:12well, then you know that the rabbit isn't there.
00:52:14I have a face out of here what you two are talking about.
00:52:15What rabbit is this?
00:52:16An allegorical rabbit.
00:52:17A what?
00:52:18Allegorical rabbit.
00:52:19I don't care if it's an Austin rabbit.
00:52:20What's it got to do with my train?
00:52:21Because your train's a rabbit.
00:52:22What was the ferret?
00:52:23A down-expressing-it-a-bear any minute.
00:52:25He let it through.
00:52:26Yeah, what?
00:52:27You let this mess through with my...
00:52:29Listen, my lad.
00:52:30If there's any blood on my train's nose...
00:52:33Get out of here.
00:52:34Don't look at me.
00:52:48You see any blood?
00:52:49Cut the drop.
00:53:09Now, you tell them.
00:53:10They don't believe me.
00:53:11Oh, I'm telling them about the football team.
00:53:12Did they or did they not leave here this morning?
00:53:14What football team?
00:53:15Oh, the one the man bought the ticket spot.
00:53:16What man?
00:53:17The fellow I met in the back room.
00:53:18Well, that's my private room.
00:53:20There's nobody in there.
00:53:21Nobody in there.
00:53:22Listen, what's the matter with everybody?
00:53:24Listen, you know very well...
00:53:25No, I can see that you don't.
00:53:27Listen, I tell you, I went in there and we fixed up about sending away the Buggles Kelly Wednesday.
00:53:30I suppose you'll be telling them next there's no such team.
00:53:32Oh, you never heard of it.
00:53:33But they went away on my excursion to Connie Mara.
00:53:36You remember me trying to sell the gifts for Connie Mara.
00:53:38I do not.
00:53:40Was anybody here last night?
00:53:44I can see you were.
00:53:45You must have seen me.
00:53:45But I was busy with two other fellas.
00:53:49You'll admit there was a fight here.
00:53:50Well, there was a bit of an argument.
00:53:52Yeah, well, it was then I went in the back room and met this man.
00:53:55He got one eye.
00:53:56One eye?
00:53:56Yes.
00:53:57Did he say who he was?
00:53:58No, but he told me to call in Joe.
00:54:01Glory be.
00:54:02One eye, Joe, the miller.
00:54:03Well, I don't know what his train was, but that's the man that went with the party on the train
00:54:06this morning.
00:54:06The train.
00:54:07He seen that too?
00:54:08Well, of course I have.
00:54:10I waved it out.
00:54:11Why, what's the matter?
00:54:12Seen the miller?
00:54:13You're no company for the likes of us.
00:54:17Hey, well, what's the idea of all this?
00:54:19The miller will turn, though the night is still.
00:54:22He haunts the station.
00:54:23He haunts the hill on the land that lies between.
00:54:27Well, he's a house agent, is he?
00:54:28Well, I want his name and address.
00:54:30Ha, ha!
00:54:30He was took my train ten years ago.
00:54:33Yes, well, he was took to my train this morning, and I want the next to the nation.
00:54:35No, like a good man.
00:54:37Don't be talking about such things in this house.
00:54:39No, let sleeping ghosts lie.
00:54:40Listen, I'll stand for ghosts with their heads tucked under their arms, but he's had golf boats.
00:54:43All I know is somebody's bothered a train than me, and I'm going to find out what he's done with
00:54:47it.
00:54:47Come on.
00:54:47No, we're not coming.
00:54:48They're opening half an hour.
00:54:49Oh.
00:54:51Help!
00:54:51I know.
00:54:52I'm wasting my time.
00:55:05Hello?
00:55:06What's the matter with your station?
00:55:07Doesn't anyone answer the phone?
00:55:09I'm sorry.
00:55:09I've just been to the local.
00:55:11The local signal box.
00:55:12Where's this excursion?
00:55:13Why?
00:55:14Haven't you seen it?
00:55:15No, and nobody has.
00:55:16Oh.
00:55:17Well, that's funny, isn't it?
00:55:18There's nothing funny about it.
00:55:19Are you dead certain you sent it off?
00:55:21Well, are you dead certain you sent it to me?
00:55:23Of course I am.
00:55:24Well, I'm dead certain I sent it off.
00:55:26Then where are the places, is it?
00:55:27I don't know.
00:55:28Who had it last?
00:55:29What are you babbling about, man?
00:55:31The train was sent to you, and it hasn't been heard of since.
00:55:33Well, I can't understand it.
00:55:35Are you sure your driver knows the way?
00:55:37There hasn't been an accident, has there?
00:55:38Not according to my parrot.
00:55:41Hello?
00:55:42Just a moment, please.
00:55:44This is Bracken.
00:55:45Where is your train?
00:55:46Have you or have you not sent that excursion off?
00:55:49Yes.
00:55:49Well, where is it?
00:55:50Well, we've misled it for the moment.
00:55:52Excuse me.
00:55:53It went off at six o'clock.
00:55:54When?
00:55:54What?
00:55:55It was scheduled for ten o'clock.
00:55:56Is that a different one to the ten o'clock one?
00:55:59No.
00:55:59Are you contradicting me?
00:56:01No, not you.
00:56:02You.
00:56:02Yes?
00:56:03No.
00:56:04What do you mean by changing those schedules?
00:56:06Well, it's shooting my customers better.
00:56:07Customers?
00:56:08What customers?
00:56:09I'm not talking to you.
00:56:10Will you pull yourself together, man?
00:56:12I am together.
00:56:13Well, where is it?
00:56:15Get off the line.
00:56:16Ring off.
00:56:16Ring off?
00:56:17Do you know who you're talking to?
00:56:19Yes, I'm talking to him.
00:56:20And of course, it's the blocker's head office.
00:56:22Oh, yes?
00:56:22Well, you're too late.
00:56:23I'm talking to the old fool now.
00:56:25What old fool?
00:56:26What are you gibbering about?
00:56:27I can't hold up the whole service.
00:56:29Can I stick me signals off?
00:56:30Yes, if it'll give you any pleasure.
00:56:32Let me tell you something else, too.
00:56:33I'm going to ring off.
00:56:34Oh, are you?
00:56:35Well, let me tell you something.
00:56:36You can pack up your things or go back to England.
00:56:38And if you're not out of that station by tonight...
00:56:40Tonight?
00:56:40Well, I'll take me all day to pack.
00:56:41What's the hurry?
00:56:42You're fired.
00:56:43Fired?
00:56:44Yes, fired.
00:56:45Oh.
00:56:47Well, I've been thrown out of better stations than this.
00:56:57Hey, what's your packing for?
00:56:59I'm leaving.
00:57:00What, tonight?
00:57:01Have you told the head office?
00:57:02They told me.
00:57:03What's the matter?
00:57:07He's got the push.
00:57:08Poor old guy.
00:57:10Here.
00:57:11You can't go like this.
00:57:12Have a bit of bait.
00:57:13No, I wouldn't drive you of it.
00:57:15Go on, it won't keep much longer.
00:57:16No, thanks.
00:57:17I thought you wouldn't stay with us very long.
00:57:18He never did like station masters.
00:57:20Who?
00:57:21One-eyed Joe the Miller.
00:57:24Listen, I've had enough of him.
00:57:26Never heard such a lot of rubbish.
00:57:27It ain't rubbish.
00:57:28Every night when the moon gives light,
00:57:30the Miller's ghost is seen.
00:57:31He walks the track with a sack on his back.
00:57:34And his ear all painted green, I know.
00:57:35He haunts the tunnel.
00:57:36He haunts the hill in the land that lies between.
00:57:38Ah, it's all me I.
00:57:41Here, I'll give you this.
00:57:43Haunts the tunnel.
00:57:44Isn't a tunnel on our line?
00:57:45Oh, not on the new line.
00:57:46But on the old loop line, there's one.
00:57:47Loop line?
00:57:49Oh, well, first I heard of a loop line.
00:57:50He runs through Pooker Hill.
00:57:51Thank you, now.
00:57:52Through Pooker Hill?
00:57:53Where does he lead you?
00:57:54Oh, across the border.
00:57:55Border?
00:57:56Loop line?
00:57:57Tunnel?
00:57:57I've got it.
00:57:58Go on.
00:57:59Where are we going?
00:58:00Find my train.
00:58:03I don't have any more arguments, we're going.
00:58:05I shouldn't.
00:58:06Besides, we might overwork Ladson.
00:58:07She was out yesterday, you know.
00:58:08I warned you.
00:58:09It's haunting.
00:58:10Ah, shut up.
00:58:11Come on, let's have a look at the map, Albert.
00:58:12Here I am.
00:58:12Hold that, Jerry.
00:58:13Now, there's Pooker Hill.
00:58:14And there's the mill on the top.
00:58:15Here's Bubbles Kelly.
00:58:16And there's the line that runs the Bracken Junction.
00:58:17There's where the line crosses the border.
00:58:19And there's the border.
00:58:19And here's where the old line branches out here.
00:58:21That's right.
00:58:22And one-eyed Joe was killed right there.
00:58:25It's a banshee.
00:58:27Banshee.
00:58:27It's Glatchen on the boil.
00:58:28Come on.
00:58:44Whoa!
00:58:46What's he say?
00:58:46He said, whoa.
00:58:47I thought he said, Joe.
00:58:56Oh, this is the branch line, all right?
00:58:57Now, where's the point lever?
00:59:02Be quiet.
00:59:04I've got it.
00:59:04I've got it first.
00:59:05Whoa, look, look.
00:59:06Fresh oil.
00:59:07Hello.
00:59:09Ah, take a look at that.
00:59:10What does that prove?
00:59:10There's been a cattle show.
00:59:11Cattle show.
00:59:12That's a football favor.
00:59:13Well, it shows we're on the right track anyway.
00:59:15Well, we'll see where it leads us.
00:59:16Go on.
00:59:16All right.
00:59:26Look, there's the tunnel.
00:59:30Oh, there's something across it.
00:59:31I told you, they don't use it.
00:59:32He's called it up.
00:59:33Oh.
00:59:34Well, slow down.
00:59:35You'll hit it.
00:59:35Right.
00:59:36Slow down.
00:59:36Put your brakes on.
00:59:37Right.
00:59:38Break!
00:59:39Break!
00:59:39Break!
00:59:44Broke.
00:59:45Now see what you've done.
00:59:46Why didn't you stop it when I told you to?
00:59:47When I asked of.
00:59:48Well, you couldn't have yourself with that thing, Vic.
00:59:51Look, there it is.
00:59:52My excursion.
00:59:53Now who's potty?
01:00:05Well, I wonder where everybody is.
01:00:06Ah, that's their playing football.
01:00:08Now, who plays football in the dark?
01:00:10Night school.
01:00:11Don't be silly.
01:00:12They haven't even unpacked the goalpost.
01:00:13Now we've found the train.
01:00:14Let's go back.
01:00:15Well, after they're messing me about, piecing my train, leaving it live out in a strange tunnel.
01:00:19Not me.
01:00:20Besides, they haven't even paid for the tickets.
01:00:22Hey.
01:00:27Look, my tickets.
01:00:29They haven't even clipped them.
01:00:30Some more over there.
01:00:36Oh, blimey.
01:00:37They chucked them away.
01:00:38Oh, what a nerve.
01:00:42Hey, follow me.
01:00:43Now, I'm not going in there.
01:00:45Oh, yes, you are.
01:00:45You're going to do as you're told.
01:00:46And you too.
01:00:47It's not my business to park me loads in other people's tunnels.
01:00:49That's right.
01:00:50You mean, you say you're going to let me go in there alone to face, or whatever it is to
01:00:53face?
01:00:54Yes.
01:00:54All right.
01:00:55I'll get inside.
01:01:04It's all right.
01:01:05I'm behind you.
01:01:06Would you like to come in front?
01:01:08No, I can see fine from here.
01:01:11What was that?
01:01:12Pushes.
01:01:12Must be somebody there.
01:01:13No.
01:01:14There.
01:01:16What's that growling?
01:01:17My stomach.
01:01:19Oh, keep it quiet.
01:01:23Hey.
01:01:28Guns.
01:01:29What, are you going to stay to a football match?
01:01:30They're not footballers.
01:01:31They can't run us.
01:01:34Come on, boys.
01:01:35Get that lot down.
01:01:36Oh, what's your hurry?
01:01:37No one's going to find it here.
01:01:38Oh, if we're not over the border before sunrise, we'll all be finding ourselves in the jail.
01:01:42Go on, get that lot down while I get the other one down from upstairs.
01:01:44Come on, Mickey.
01:01:45What's the matter with you?
01:01:46Can't you get that?
01:01:47Come on, hurry up.
01:01:48We're going to be here all night or what?
01:01:52This is a funny looking place, isn't it?
01:01:54Yeah.
01:01:55Cranky, really.
01:01:55One-eyed Joe's Cock-Eyed Mill.
01:01:57Oh, dear.
01:01:58Hey, quick, behind this.
01:02:07We turn to the left.
01:02:08Don't be silly.
01:02:09If we go to the right, we'll be wrong.
01:02:10It's the left.
01:02:10It's the left.
01:02:11No, it's the left.
01:02:13Of course it's the left.
01:02:13I turn to the right.
01:02:17We turn around and get to the right over the other road.
01:02:19Well, good evening.
01:02:21Well, if we go to the right.
01:02:23All of you.
01:02:26What are you doing here?
01:02:28Oh, you dropped a ticket.
01:02:31Don't you start anything.
01:02:32The three of us.
01:02:32How do you?
01:02:34Why?
01:02:35Follow me.
01:02:39Come here.
01:02:43Come on downstairs.
01:02:44And hurry.
01:02:51Bullseye.
01:02:54Let's barely clear the door.
01:02:55Yeah, but they can't get out.
01:02:56Well, they can't get in.
01:02:57What?
01:02:58They're all coming up.
01:02:59Open that door.
01:03:00You open it yourself.
01:03:01Come on, buddy.
01:03:04Where's Harper?
01:03:05They must be up there.
01:03:07There.
01:03:19They're not here.
01:03:20They must have gone out some other way.
01:03:21Let's get back to the frame.
01:03:23It's all right.
01:03:24They're going.
01:03:41Hey, what's the matter?
01:03:43I thought you'd gone.
01:03:43The trouble with you is you think too much.
01:03:46Time up.
01:03:46Time up.
01:03:47You can't do that.
01:03:47I'm a British subject.
01:03:49What are you going to do?
01:03:49You'll know soon enough.
01:03:51You can't do that, I say.
01:03:52Yeah?
01:03:53And who's going to stop us?
01:03:55Flory B.
01:03:56The ghost.
01:03:58The Phantom Miller.
01:04:01One-eyed, Joe.
01:04:09The Phantom Miller.
01:04:33Let's go.
01:05:08Stay light here, Grogan.
01:05:09All right.
01:05:10They can't get away.
01:05:11We'll get them when we come back.
01:05:12Flip that boat!
01:05:23They've taken the ladder away.
01:05:25Now what are we going to do?
01:05:26We can't get down.
01:05:27We can tie a bit of rope to that hook and slide down.
01:05:29That hook wouldn't bear our weight.
01:05:31We'd have to tie it.
01:05:31It's tied to that beam.
01:05:32That's no good.
01:05:33That goes round when the wind blows.
01:05:34It'll wind us up again.
01:05:35Never mind.
01:05:35It's a good idea.
01:05:36We can try.
01:05:36Go on.
01:05:36Give us a rope.
01:05:37Oh, well.
01:05:37We've got a rope.
01:05:38Well, what are we arguing about then?
01:05:44What was that?
01:05:45I don't know.
01:05:53You touching something?
01:05:54No, I'm holding on.
01:05:55Come on.
01:05:55We're oscillating.
01:05:57I shall be sick in a minute.
01:05:58Don't you.
01:05:58Don't you think we've got enough trouble for the years?
01:06:00Go on.
01:06:00Stick your fingers in your ears.
01:06:01I can't stand up to 100.
01:06:05Hey, what's this?
01:06:09Oh, look.
01:06:12Oh, the preparer.
01:06:13Now, all we're going to do is to cool up one of these sails,
01:06:16and make it to the bottom and drop off.
01:06:17Hey, I know.
01:06:18Well, something's holding it.
01:06:19Must be a break somewhere.
01:06:33Can you stop? Yes. Well, there you are. We've got another perfect control. Come on, Harbotton.
01:06:37Yes, what is it? We're going down on the windmill sail. Come on, you're first.
01:06:42What, right down there? No, no. Go along this horizontal sail.
01:06:45Which? Well, this one. Point to three o'clock. We'll lower you down. Then when you get to six o
01:06:49'clock, you can drop off. You understand?
01:06:50Yes, six o'clock. What time is it now? No, no. Six o'clock at the bottom.
01:06:59Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Come on. Come on. Come on. You all right?
01:07:04Try along here. Yes, go on.
01:07:08Oh, it's a long way down. Never mind. You'll soon be there.
01:07:12Yes, that's what I'm afraid of. You all right? Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Just a minute. Oh, dear.
01:07:19Oh, dear. Oh, dear. I'm back again. Hurry up. Are you nearly there? Nearly. I'm ready. She's ready.
01:07:47All right. Can you do it, late-water? Well, I'll do it next. Stop it, see?
01:07:51Can you do it?
01:07:52Bye!
01:07:55You have to fall in the water.
01:08:10Oh dear, the blood's running to me act.
01:08:33It's bending.
01:08:34Eh?
01:08:34It's bending.
01:08:35Well, look at the weight on it.
01:08:36Can't you float a little?
01:08:37Go on.
01:08:43Do you think I ought to go to the end?
01:08:44Yes, but don't go past the end.
01:08:57All right, I'm ready.
01:09:12You all right down there?
01:09:14Up up here.
01:09:17What are you doing up there?
01:09:18Up 12 o'clock.
01:09:19Well, why don't you try to spoil everything?
01:09:21How am I going to get down?
01:09:23You'll have to climb out on the other way.
01:09:24I can't.
01:09:25I can't think I'll deceive her.
01:09:27Oh, yes, I can.
01:09:27I'm balancing him.
01:09:29You climb out on the other one and you'll bring him down.
01:09:31Oh, all right.
01:09:32Hold on.
01:09:33Hurry up.
01:09:34I'm cold up here.
01:09:44Go on.
01:09:45What do you mean go on?
01:09:47I know what I'm doing.
01:09:49Hurry up.
01:09:50We're hurrying up.
01:09:54I can't hold on that jogger.
01:09:56I can't hold on that jogger.
01:09:57I've got his horse back there.
01:09:59Hurry up.
01:10:02Hurry up.
01:10:30I can't hold on that jogger.
01:10:42I can't! I can't fall in the water!
01:10:46Carter!
01:10:47I can't stay up here all day! I've got to peak it!
01:10:50Stop, stop it!
01:10:52When are you going to get off?
01:11:00I'm slipping!
01:11:02Oh, no!
01:11:02No, no!
01:11:04I'm going to be sick!
01:11:07I'm going!
01:11:08I'm going!
01:11:25All right, go!
01:11:53You need a good job of a foot of the hay carp.
01:11:55Yes, well, you might have thought it would take you the fork out, too.
01:11:57Here! Look!
01:12:02You need a good job of a foot of the hay carp.
01:12:07Now, let's get him away!
01:12:08What, without my train?
01:12:09Not likely. We'll come a glass into it.
01:12:18There's an engine on the other end.
01:12:19I'll attend to that.
01:12:22All right, Mike. One time. We're almost ready.
01:12:24Now, you start when I tell you.
01:12:25You'll go and drive until I tell you to stop. Do you understand?
01:12:28You think you'll get away with this?
01:12:29I hope so. For your sake.
01:12:31Hurry up. Jump to it.
01:12:32Now, you start when I tell you.
01:12:32You can't move. I'm no funny business.
01:12:45Right away! Start off!
01:12:53Get it out!
01:13:03Get out of them!
01:13:04Hey, if we don't keep moving, they'll do what?
01:13:06Well, get up on the calicoot!
01:13:07Do what?
01:13:08Get up there! Don't argue!
01:13:10Take this with you!
01:13:12If any of them stick their heads out and block them!
01:13:24Hey, what about that station mark?
01:13:26We collect them on the way back.
01:13:27Well, none too soon as it is.
01:13:29Hey, what's this?
01:13:30What, going the wrong way?
01:13:31What?
01:13:47Hey, look!
01:13:48100 miles an hour!
01:13:49Get things you can do it!
01:13:50That's the pressure, Gary.
01:13:52I know!
01:13:53I was just in the street by the telegraph pole!
01:13:59Don't touch anything!
01:14:00He's coming to Douglas Kelly in a minute!
01:14:01Never mind!
01:14:02Keep going!
01:14:02I can't get it done!
01:14:03Damn it now!
01:14:04We keep going!
01:14:05They can't get out!
01:14:08We're home!
01:14:10Douglas Kelly!
01:14:18I can't get into the car!
01:14:19That's all good!
01:14:20We'll be out!
01:14:21Oh, they're all in the car!
01:14:21Well, they got it in anyway!
01:14:23Oh, they're getting there!
01:14:26Here!
01:14:26Here!
01:14:27Come, thank you!
01:14:27Old!
01:14:28You got that?
01:14:28Oh, shut up!
01:14:49We're down to the left, put your head down.
01:15:07You pay for this hat!
01:15:13Hat for the shovel!
01:15:24Oh!
01:15:35Hi!
01:15:36Hi!
01:15:38What's the matter?
01:15:39You're making all this female!
01:15:41Who is?
01:15:41You are!
01:15:42No, you've got enough football!
01:15:45You're coming in!
01:15:59Use your gun!
01:15:59I can't get the gun!
01:16:00Give me your rifle!
01:16:01They haven't got any ammunition!
01:16:02Give me your rifle!
01:16:09Whoa!
01:16:10Whoa!
01:16:12Whoa!
01:16:15Whoa!
01:16:21Okay!
01:16:22What is it?
01:16:23Don't look now!
01:16:24There's another train coming!
01:16:25Oh!
01:16:26Hey!
01:16:28Hey!
01:16:40What?
01:16:44Here!
01:16:45Here!
01:16:46Here!
01:16:46You can't burn that!
01:16:47No!
01:16:47Well, if we don't get any help too, you'll go any next!
01:16:50Well, that might as well go to the scout!
01:16:52Well, how do we get them?
01:16:53Well, when they've seen they want help and they put a message in the bottle and she'll get
01:16:55overboard!
01:17:06I'm going to want a couple of friends from the entrance.
01:17:08How are you going to do it?
01:17:08Give us your hat.
01:17:09Here.
01:17:10Now, you stick it out that side when I get out of this.
01:17:28There's a bubble.
01:17:29Give it to me.
01:17:34Oh, a tunnel.
01:17:45Give me the bubble out, Barry.
01:17:47Now, now, now, you fool.
01:17:48We're in a tunnel.
01:17:56Where's Cole?
01:17:57I've ever dated.
01:17:58It's not Cole.
01:17:58It's your pants.
01:18:03Go on to the station.
01:18:04I'm going to throw it.
01:18:12What the?
01:18:26Calling Belfast, Sergeant.
01:18:27Calling Belfast.
01:18:29Belfast, standing by.
01:18:30Go ahead, please.
01:18:33Station, stand by for all the schedule.
01:18:36Stand by for all the schedule.
01:18:38Stand by for all the schedule.
01:18:41Side track 24, good.
01:18:42Side track 24, good.
01:18:43Right.
01:18:45Pole 16, express.
01:18:47Pole 16, express.
01:18:48Right.
01:18:50Divert on the way to West Yard.
01:19:09All cars proceed to West Yard Terminus.
01:19:12All cars proceed to West Yard Terminus.
01:19:14All cars proceed to West Yard Terminus.
01:19:16All cars proceed to West Yard Terminus.
01:19:33Oh, I think they're going to do a lead egg.
01:19:35Oh, stop gobbling them, stop going to a lead egg, yeah, wait.
01:19:38Oh, a lead egg.
01:19:40Yeah, I think that will do.
01:19:41Don't be going to cover.
01:19:42Don't be going.
01:19:43Don't be going.
01:19:43Don't be going.
01:19:44Don't be going.
01:19:45Don't be going.
01:19:46Don't be going.
01:19:47Don't be going.
01:19:47Don't be going to do it.
01:19:52They're all in there.
01:19:53Well, Google, we've got the glass.
01:19:55Yeah?
01:19:55Yeah?
01:19:55Yeah?
01:19:55Oh, right now.
01:19:57Oh, right now.
01:19:58Oh, right now.
01:19:59Oh, right now.
01:19:59Come on.
01:20:00Congratulations.
01:20:01Oh, thank you.
01:20:02Good busy work.
01:20:03Congratulations.
01:20:03Let it go, Porter.
01:20:04Oh, all in today's work.
01:20:05I'll see that you get recognition in the proper quarter.
01:20:08Oh, don't thank me.
01:20:09That's grand old engine, Matt.
01:20:1090 years old.
01:20:11Yes, and good for another night.
01:20:15Oh, I'll see you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next
01:20:23to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to you
01:20:24next to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to
01:20:29you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next
01:20:30to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to you
01:20:31next to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to
01:20:32you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next
01:20:33to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to you
01:20:36next to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to
01:20:36you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next
01:20:37to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to you next to