00:10I'm definitely a Carrie at heart, but like sometimes, sometimes Samantha kind of comes out.
00:16Sometimes you have to break a few eggs to do what's right, you know what I mean?
00:18I work hard and I kick ass and I'm going towards the front.
00:20Is it so crazy hot in here?
00:21I have to start living, you know?
00:23I did something kind of crazy.
00:25I made an internet dating profile.
00:28I hate today.
00:28Okay, everyone's a dumb whore.
00:30I am woman, hear me roar, you know what I mean?
00:32Like I may be deflowered, but I am not devalued.
00:34Denise, hi, Josh, how are you?
00:36I'm amazing.
00:37Ah!
00:38Fuck!
00:39Oh!
00:40Oh!
00:41Fuck!
00:42Fuck!
00:44Oh!
00:44Stop chasing me!
00:46Oh!
00:47I only want to date people who want to date me because that is called self-respect.
00:50This country is bullshit, okay?
00:51Nobody has any manners.
00:53And do you want to know why?
00:53Do you want to know why?
00:54Because you're all so self-involved and self-serving.
00:57It makes no sense.
00:58You make no sense!
00:59I will never be bored as long as there's Halloween.
01:02I thank the higher powers for all of the gifts that I have already received, like a keen mathematical
01:11mind and fairly fast-growing hair.
01:16Okay, you're going to go to the front and kickboxing class.
01:18It's okay.
01:18It's okay.
01:19I'm a girl who has found love and then disappeared.
01:21And my worst nightmare is that someone knows or thinks that I've died when I haven't.
01:25And I'm living that.
01:26Oh my god.
01:29What's your favorite utensil?
01:31You have that rocking chair for.
01:32Uh, I wasn't hungry, so I bought a souvenir.
01:35It's a rustic souvenir.
01:36What is wrong with emojis?
01:37Wait, wait, wait.
01:38I hate you!
01:40People always think that I'm not going to fit in at first, but then I always do.
01:44I always fit in just very subtly.
01:45You know she's right.
01:47She's right about everything.
01:49Don't worry, I got to.
01:50Don't worry, I'm like, oh.
01:51Don't worry, I'm like, oh.
01:54Don't worry, I'm like, oh.
01:54Don't worry, I'm like, oh.
01:55Don't worry, I'm like, oh.
01:56Don't worry, I'm like, oh.
01:57Don't worry, I'm like, oh.
01:58Don't worry, I'm like, oh.
