00:00Hey guys, it's Lucy Fink and this week I'm trying five days of spending time alone.
00:07I hate being alone because FOMO is a real thing and I totally have it.
00:13Are you great at having fun without me?
00:15Stop!
00:16Aww.
00:17We live in an age where people are fearful of doing things by themselves because they're
00:22afraid what others are going to think of them.
00:24One, crazy.
00:25Two, valid.
00:27Let me tell you about the spotlight effect.
00:31We have this egocentric way of thinking that makes us feel like everyone is looking at
00:35us even though we are essentially going unnoticed.
00:39Remember when I did that week without my cell phone?
00:41Have you seen that episode yet?
00:43I thought this would be another good challenge.
00:45Am I afraid to spend time by myself?
00:47No.
00:47But I am excited to see what I can take away from these moments.
00:51Typically if I get a coffee before work, it's on the run, but today I'm going to park it
00:55at a coffee shop nearby and I'm just going to read and people watch, no cell phone.
00:59I will report back and we'll let you know how I felt on my own in the coffee shop.
01:05I really like being by myself, I like eating by myself, I just always make sure to have
01:10a phone or a magazine or something so I'm not like by myself by myself.
01:13Bringing this with me to the cafe, bad idea.
01:18I thought that leaving my phone at home would be enough, but as it turns out bringing a book
01:22is essentially the same thing.
01:23They both take you away from truly being by yourself.
01:27I've realized that people actually bring phones and books with them into public spaces
01:32to subtly hide their shame for the fact that they're alone.
01:35So being in the cafe with my book didn't really feel like I was spending time by myself.
01:40So for my next solo excursion, no activities are permitted.
01:45No cell phone, no book, just Lucy.
01:53I left the office in the middle of the day and I went to a sit down lunch just by
01:57myself.
01:58I ordered a triple decker chicken bacon sandwich with chips and an iced tea.
02:05You know what they say about when one of your senses goes away, the others get very strong?
02:09My sense of taste was explosive.
02:14When you go out to a meal alone, you don't have that whole side of your brain operating
02:20that's telling you to be social and keep up the conversation.
02:23Instead, your brain is focusing on one thing and one thing only.
02:27Two things.
02:28Chicken and bacon.
02:29Commuting home is my me time.
02:32If I see one of my coworkers leaving the office at the same time as me, I'll walk four blocks
02:36out of my way just to not have to commute with them.
02:41I've been trying to think of things that I can do on my own.
02:45And something that I know a lot of creative, bright, intelligent people do is go to museums
02:51by themselves.
02:52I have never been to a museum by myself, but there's a catch.
02:57Instead of sending myself to a regular art gallery, why not mix it up a bit and make me feel
03:03super
03:04uncomfortable by myself, so I went to the sex museum.
03:08Obviously, the fact that it was a sex museum brought a whole new layer into this, but if
03:13I'm being completely honest, I wish that I had a friend when I left the museum because
03:18I had a lot of questions.
03:22My theory is that if you're eating alone, it doesn't mean that you don't deserve attention.
03:26So if you sit at the bar, then you get a lot of attention from the bartender and you get
03:30to hit on the bartender.
03:31Thursday night, movie night.
03:33And this is the night that I have been dreading.
03:35I have never been to the movies alone.
03:38So I'm going to challenge myself.
03:39I'm going to a scary movie by myself.
03:42I don't like scary movies.
03:44Wish me luck.
03:50That was bad.
03:51I'm sleeping with my lamp on.
03:53I have to.
03:54I have to.
03:55One of the places I love going by myself is the dog park.
03:59I don't even have a dog, but I like to go to the dog park and watch other people's dogs.
04:04I once met a guy who knew a guy who wrote a book, and that book was about loving yourself.
04:11Every single relationship we have in our life is going to come to an end, whether it's by
04:16a breakup or a divorce or, in the worst of circumstances, death.
04:21Every single relationship is going to end, except that one relationship that you have
04:26with yourself.
04:26Give yourself the opportunity to enjoy your own company.
04:30Learn who you are.
04:31Learn what you like and don't like when there's nobody else around.
04:33I didn't necessarily love being by myself all the time.
04:37Even if you feel uncomfortable, force yourself to be in those situations, because loving yourself
04:41is the most important thing in the world.
04:44And then cookies.
04:45Love yourself.
04:46Then cookies.
04:47Cookies are maybe better.
04:48Love yourself.
04:48Love yourself.
04:49Love yourself.
