00:00I served on board the USS Cape St. George, Operation Enduring Freedom, Operation Iraqi Freedom.
00:06I served in Thai military, protecting the forest.
00:10I served in the U.S. Army. I was an HR supervisor for a combat support hospital.
00:15My rank was at the officer first class.
00:24When I realized that I was trans at the age of five, I was scared that nobody was going to
00:31accept me.
00:32By the time I was ten, I started to tell some of my friends at school.
00:38They ended up bullying me, so I became extremely depressed and I tried to end my life many times.
00:47I remember telling my mother that she had to start buying me dresses now because I was a girl.
00:54Between eight and ten years old, I felt very feminine.
00:57I just felt like something was missing on my body.
01:00My father kicked me out of the house, so I was homeless for a few months.
01:04And then I joined the Navy.
01:09I was stationed at Fort Benning, Georgia, which is very much rural.
01:12I ended up going out on the weekends to Atlanta and meeting a lot of members of the LGBT community.
01:17At this time, I was just in a very dark place. I was very confused.
01:20And I asked my girlfriend to refer to me as a guy.
01:23And that's when it really hit me, this is what makes me feel comfortable.
01:27But in my unit, I just kept it completely to myself.
01:31I thought the military would be a way to man up.
01:34Man up.
01:35Man up.
01:35And I wouldn't have these feelings anymore.
01:39Due to the don't ask, don't tell policy that was implemented during the Clinton administration, I just had to keep
01:45quiet.
01:46However, people knew.
01:48I was bullied.
01:49You're a little sissy.
01:50Bastard.
01:51Thrown around.
01:52When I touched my body.
01:53Name calling.
01:54Harassed me.
01:55I had to deny.
01:56I couldn't speak of it.
01:57I laid very low and I didn't tell anybody at all.
02:00I kept secret.
02:01I know how to compartmentalize and hide who I was very well.
02:06I felt like I just could not express who I was because I was so terrified of being in trouble.
02:15When I was in uniform, I felt that I hold some power within me.
02:21I start taking hormones.
02:23So underneath the military outfit, I start to wearing bras.
02:28People start to noticing.
02:31I was just scared, but I want to live my true self, my true life.
02:37It's one thing to acclimate to civilian life as a veteran, but adding on the concept of transitioning to that,
02:44it's just messy.
02:46And it can be extremely overwhelming at times.
02:49It breaks my heart that veterans go through the things that they do and then can't get help afterwards.
02:56After my service, I was homeless for about a year.
03:02I started transitioning at 42.
03:06When I got out of the Navy, I hit a breaking point.
03:08I was feeling suicidal.
03:10I was working at the VA hospital at the time and I checked into the ward.
03:14And that was a huge turning point in my life.
03:17I started taking medication and going to therapy and I felt like everything's falling into place.
03:22I do have my days like everybody else does, but I would say I definitely love life more than I
03:28have ever loved it before.
03:29I thought about if I was born a girl, that would make my life easier, but the reality is not,
03:37you know.
03:37Like I was born in the right body, but the society didn't really understand.
03:44It's like you have flowers that can't grow in that environment.
03:50Instead of fixing that plant or the flower, you should fix the environment, not the plant itself.
03:57Right now, I feel extremely happy to be able to live my life.
04:03I've never been so happy in my life.
04:05I have been a lot happier.
04:08I'm just living in a dream.
04:13Transitioning is like climbing a mountain and it's constantly difficult.
04:17But when you actually are up at the peak and you have a moment to look down, the view is
04:22phenomenal.
04:23And it feels like you're constantly overcoming things.
04:26It's difficult, yes, but it's worth it.
04:30The biggest misconception about trans people serving in the military would have to be that it affects readiness.
04:37Transitioning for attention.
04:38Have mental illness.
04:39There's no difference between us and non-trans person.
04:43We do our job.
04:45We do it well or bad, just like anybody else.
04:48The only thing that affects trans people in the military is other people that are serving amongst them.
04:54The trans ban is just, it's ridiculous.
04:57It's hurtful and it has no place in this country.
04:59It shouldn't.
05:00Being trans should not be an automatic disqualifier for anything, ever.
05:05This isn't about whether they're effective or not.
05:08This is purely about discrimination.
05:10I feel as if my life experiences from the military really shaped my character.
05:16And having that sense of pride of serving as well as that connection with other veterans is priceless.
05:24There's a lot of ignorance in the world.
05:26And the only way to beat ignorance is with knowledge and compassion and stick up for people and do the
05:32right thing.
05:33I'm one of 15,000 transgender veterans who has served in the military.
05:38We're here and we exist.
05:39We live in over a month.
05:39We live in over a month.
05:40We live in over a month.
05:41We live in over a month.
05:42We live in over a month.
05:43We live in over a month.
05:44You
