00:00Hey guys, I'm Kayla, and are you ready for the sloppiest, disgusting, grotesque, repulsive
00:08kiss story to tell you?
00:10You don't want to hear what's next.
00:12My first kiss was so mortifying, it took years for me to kiss anyone ever.
00:17I'm in college, it's one of my last couple formals.
00:20I wasn't really expecting this kiss, and I wasn't really sure how I felt, but I decided
00:25to let it happen, because why not?
00:27It is just spit, and slobber, and tongue, everything you don't want is in my mouth, and all I could
00:39think to do was suction out his spit like you do at the dentist with the little tube.
00:44So we're making out, and I'm sitting there going, that was the only kiss.
00:51Really nice guy, really, really bad kiss.
00:57This boy I had the biggest crush on came over to just talk and hang out.
01:01So we're sitting, and we're talking.
01:03All of a sudden, he leans in, grabs my face, and starts making out with me.
01:09It was like a lizard.
01:10It was like his tongue was just in and out, in and out.
01:13And the most embarrassing thing happened right after, which was me burping into his mouth.
01:18I kind of wanted to die.
01:20Like, how do you walk away from that?
01:22It was a house party.
01:23There was one girl that I went to high school with there that I used to have a crush on.
01:27I never talked to her ever in high school.
01:29We were drinking a little bit, and I was compelled to flirt with her.
01:32So after I successfully flirted with her, she was being playful with me and gave me a little
01:38love bite on the cheek.
01:40She essentially bit a whole chunk of my cheek practically off.
01:45I had teeth marks for a whole entire week.
01:47I could take it to her dentist and make a mold out of it.
01:50So we go back to my dorm room, and we start canoodling, making out a little bit, and then
01:55I felt this kind of roughness on my cheek and on my chin.
01:58I noticed this rash going from my chin all the way up to my right cheek, and I just remember
02:03looking in the mirror and being like, what is this?
02:06It turned into this, like, crumbly eczema rash all over my face.
02:11As for the Gaia, we didn't see each other after that, so the rash definitely lasted a little
02:16longer than that three-day relationship.
02:19He was very attractive.
02:20I feel like he's kissed many women in his life.
02:22When we sort of went to kiss, it was literally as if my lip was, like, a steak.
02:27So he just bit down on it.
02:30It was bleeding, like, observably bleeding.
02:33Like, it was coming.
02:34You could see it on my lip.
02:35There was a lot of blood.
02:36There was enough blood that you could see it not only on my inner lip, but, like, going
02:41down vampire style.
02:42We were playing spin the bottle, but then the bottle landed on me, and I had to kiss someone.
02:49He had braces, so his braces got sucked to my lips.
02:54I, like, felt my lip bleeding.
02:57And I just felt, like, his saliva just, like, all over, not only my mouth, but my face.
03:05And it was disgusting.
03:07Ugh!
03:08That was not good.
03:09Like, not related, but I once cried into someone's mouth years later.
03:13I would tell my younger self to maybe speak up and be like, hey, you're hurting my face.
03:18We shouldn't do this anymore.
03:20Don't overthink it.
03:21That's, like, my main thing.
03:23If they can't kiss, how are they gonna be at the other stuff?
03:26Think about that.
