00:00Hi guys!
00:01Hello!
00:02Hello if you're in here.
00:03Eek!
00:09I'm going dizzy laughing.
00:11We've got Irish person two.
00:14Can you say top of the morning?
00:17Top of the morning, Tia.
00:19Um, I don't know.
00:22We're doing Australian.
00:24Person three, can you please say
00:26put another shrimp on the barbie?
00:28Put another shrimp on the barbie.
00:30That's really good.
00:32I'm happy to talk to you a little bit further if you want.
00:34Nah.
00:35Right person two!
00:38G'day mate, how you going?
00:40Oh that's really good!
00:43Oh!
00:44Person one.
00:45Yeah?
00:45Right, right.
00:47Right, person two.
00:51This is in Welsh.
00:53Oh ****.
00:55Person one, what part of Wales are you from?
00:58North Wales.
00:59I'm not even asking person two.
01:01I'm not having you from Wales as well.
01:03Person three, can you say good morning in Welsh?
01:06Aby snaki.
01:11Aby snaki.
01:12Aby snaki.
01:12Aby snaki.
01:14Aby snaki.
01:16Aby snaki.
01:18Aby snaki.
01:18Person two, can you say good morning in Welsh?
01:20I don't even believe I'm Welsh.
01:22I don't even believe I'm Welsh, so I'm not going to say nothing to you.
01:24Oh my God!
01:25Oh my God!
01:26I don't speak Gaelic or Welsh or whatever, I only speak English.
01:30Wait!
01:31This is Birmingham!
01:33Wait!
01:33Number three, can you say...
01:35Am you alright?
01:37I'm from Birmingham.
01:38You're not.
01:40You're not.
01:42Person two, can you say, are you alright?
01:46What, in a Birmingham accent?
01:49That's really good, darling.
01:51I know, cos I'm from Birmingham.
01:54You're not!
01:57Right, person one, can you say, are you alright?
02:00You're alright?
02:01You're not.
02:03What we're going to do now, we're going to have each person give a surprise impression.
02:08I got paper goods.
02:09I got paper goods on top of paper goods.
02:12Person two.
02:14Nothing beats a Jet 2 holiday.
02:16Short your mouth.
02:17And right now, you can say £50 per person.
02:20That's £200 off for a family of four.
02:23Person three.
02:24I could get on the back of that and go for a swim.
02:27In Jesus Christ.
02:30Turn around to reveal person one.
02:33Turn around now.
02:34Hey!
02:35How are you?
02:36Mia is?
02:37I'm Welsh.
02:38Shut up!
02:40Oh my God.
02:41You can come through for me, please.
02:43My God, my head's fell off.
02:44And then when you're ready to turn, you can turn around to be person two.
02:47Okay.
02:48Oh my God!
02:50Oh my God!
02:52What are you doing here?
02:54What am I doing here?
02:55Oh my God!
02:56Oh my God!
02:56Oh my God!
02:57I'm from everywhere!
02:58Oh my God!
03:00I'm still in English.
03:01Oh my God!
03:06Where are you from?
03:07You're not from everywhere!
03:08Where are you from?
03:09You're Irish!
03:09Shut up!
03:10I've got ethics!
03:12No, you've got none.
03:14None right!
03:15None right!
03:16Hi!
03:17This is the rugby club in it.
03:19I was wondering, how do I go about joining your rugby club?
03:25Okay.
03:26Well, there's just a short form you'll need to fill out just with all your details.
03:30Why?
03:30And we just need to know a little bit about you really.
03:32Just sort of what position you like to play and what experience you've had and things like that.
03:36Well, my best position is up front.
03:40I'm good at playing up front.
03:42Yeah, so I mean that's, up front is usually a football you see.
03:46So, I think my mum, she plays rugby.
03:50And my uncle Barry, I think he's a good rugby player.
03:56Because my mum always says that my uncle Barry's got a **** at a tackle.
04:02So I think, I think she's, I think he's a good scummer.
04:07Right, right.
04:08Well, yes, yeah, he might be very good at playing scum position.
04:12Yeah, maybe.
04:12Do you know when you score a goal in rugby?
04:14Yeah, I mean, you're right.
04:17What?
04:17You mean a try and a conversion, things like that.
04:21Why is he called a try if he's done it?
04:23He's not, he's not trying anymore.
04:25He's, he's completed it.
04:27So why do they call it a complete rather than a try?
04:30Because he's not trying anymore.
04:32Well.
04:33It's like buildings.
04:35Why do they call buildings buildings?
04:37You should call them built.
04:38Because they're already built, aren't they?
04:40Yeah, listen, I think you should maybe go for mayor at this point, be elected.
04:44Change of vocabulary.
04:46I should.
04:47I should.
04:47Flipping should.
04:48And then maybe I can find my real dad.
04:50Right, okay.
04:51Well, er.
04:51I don't know where he is.
04:53Right.
04:54Well, er.
04:54He, he, I'm sure he plays a little bit because he's a fly half.
04:58He flew away.
04:59Not seeing him again in three nearly six years.
05:02What position were you wanting to play then?
05:05Er, right back.
05:06Right.
05:07Yeah.
05:07Well, er.
05:08I mean, there's no, I mean.
05:09You seem to be using a lot of football teams right now.
05:12Are you sure you don't want to play football?
05:14I've completed it.
05:15I've, I've done it.
05:17I've done it.
05:18So, if I play right back, you can leave me right back at home, can't you?
05:22Yeah.
05:22Do you have some friends that are doing rugby at all?
05:26No, just my mum.
05:27Just my mum.
05:28And my uncle Barry, because he's got an hard tackle.
05:31And I think I can learn off him.
05:33I think I could have an hard tackle.
05:35With a bit of practice.
05:38Well, maybe, maybe, maybe he's when you get older.
05:41Er, yeah.
05:41Yeah, potentially, yeah.
05:43Yeah.
05:43But I want to do it now.
05:45How do, how do you get a hard tackle?
05:51Right, I'll speak to you again.
05:53What's your name again, Zoe?
05:54It was Dave.
05:55Hi Dave.
05:56Right, I'll go back.
05:58I'll speak to my mum, my uncle Barry, Sticky Vicar, the prop.
06:02And we'll see about coming in and having a game, okay?
06:06Alright then, perfect pal.
06:07You take it easy, alright?
06:08Alright, I'll see you soon.
06:10Alright then, pal.
06:11See you later.
06:12Love you.
06:16I'm going on holiday, but I'm really worried.
06:20I've seen the ad saying nothing beats a Jet 2 holiday.
06:23And I'm not going for Jet 2.
06:25I see.
06:26I think, I think you've no need to worry because obviously British do beat a Jet 2 holiday.
06:33And they say I can save £50 per person.
06:37That's £200 for a family of four.
06:39Well, we do £60 per person.
06:42How's that?
06:43I didn't get £60 off.
06:45You can, absolutely.
06:47In fact, I think she will have got that when she booked with us initially.
06:50Well, she's telling me that she's paid full whack.
06:52No, she's not paid full whack.
06:54No.
06:55She's just saying that so you'll have to do the washing up.
06:58No, she's saying that so we all pay a little bit more. Cheeky.
07:01So, yeah.
07:03Alright, what's your job?
07:04My job is to sit in a call centre and listen to calls and help people.
07:09Right.
07:10Where do you think I should go on holiday next?
07:12Why don't you go to Turkey on your next one?
07:15My uncle Barra's been to Turkey.
07:17Does he like it?
07:18Yeah, he said he's not been, but then he smiles and you're like, yeah, you've been to Turkey.
07:23Big, bright, big Maffis bright smile.
07:27What a solar powered smile.
07:29Yes.
07:31That's what it was.
07:32Yeah, he's definitely been to Turkey then, hasn't he?
07:34Yeah, he'd come back one day, he had a receiving hairline and then come back one day, we're both.
07:39Did he look a little bit like he'd had an accident?
07:42Yeah.
07:43He looked like he'd put a fox on his head.
07:47Oh dear, that sounds a bit sore.
07:51So, you can see where I'm going?
07:53Yes, but you're going to have to be really careful because where you're going might be really, really hot.
07:59So, you'll have to be careful that you don't burn.
08:02I'll go factor 50 and everything.
08:04Oh, that's good and make sure you play it lots and lots of times.
08:07So, I've done it for Uncle Barry, but I've got his factor 50 and I've emptied it.
08:14I've got toothpaste in it.
08:17That's funny, isn't it?
08:18It is funny, but I think Uncle Barry might be a little bit sore.
08:22I don't care.
08:23Do you not?
08:25No.
08:25My mum saved money on a holiday.
08:28Yeah.
08:28That means I can get more...
08:30Ice creams.
08:31Yeah.
08:32Yeah.
08:33I love where you're coming from, sister.
08:35Give me a high five.
08:36So, I'm looking forward to it.
08:38So, I just wanted to make sure that you're not ripping us off.
08:41Oh, good grief.
08:41No, we wouldn't dream of doing that, no.
08:44No, no.
08:44Definitely wouldn't, would you?
08:45Definitely wouldn't do that, no.
08:47Where was your last holiday?
08:50My last holiday was in Greece and that was very hot.
08:53Oh, I love Greece.
08:54Yeah.
08:54I've just come back from Greece.
08:56I went to Rhodes.
08:57They're so good to go.
08:58I just wanted to make sure you weren't ripping us off, okay?
09:00No, I think you'll be absolutely fine.
09:03And thank you very much for calling British.
09:05That's okay.
09:06Enjoy the rest of your day.
09:08Bye-bye.
09:09Love you.
09:10Love you too.
09:11Love you more.
09:12Bye.
09:14Bye-bye.
09:15You put it time first.
09:17All right.
09:18Gone.
09:20You know what?
09:21Love Island's just finished.
09:23Yeah.
09:23Why don't I get on the next one?
09:26So you want him to be cast on the next one?
09:28Yeah.
09:29So just cast me.
09:30All the women love me.
09:31Make loads of money.
09:32Build me Instagram following.
09:34Win.
09:35Right.
09:35And you're not bothered about finding love.
09:37Yeah.
09:38That's the main thing, innit?
09:39Right.
09:39And you said your name was Tim, right?
09:41Yeah.
09:41My name's Tim.
09:42Right.
09:43I've loved him before.
09:45What?
09:46Tiny Tim.
09:46What?
09:47Tiny Tim.
09:49What type of person would you want to be cuddled up with?
09:52Straight away, they've got to be fit.
09:53People say, oh, I'm attracted to personality.
09:56No.
09:57Straight away, you've got to look at them and go, yeah, that'll do.
10:00So, do you think I'll be able to go on the show?
10:02Well, no.
10:03Rather than all these people with chiseled bodies, perfect frames, beautiful faces.
10:09Chub Island.
10:10Where it's just a load of people that have just let himself go.
10:13Like my mum, my uncle Barry, my kid Steve.
10:15Throw in a couple of bottles of white lightning and a bag of bakka.
10:18Tell me you wouldn't watch that.
10:20Well, I might watch it like, but it might get slated for being so-called poverty .
10:25Can't do that anymore.
10:26Give him a grand.
10:27What happened?
10:28What happened?
