00:00You know, there's gonna be with the light skin. Let's call it what it is, though. Can we keep it
00:03a buck, though?
00:03Like, please, I'm not even listening to you.
00:09When we met, we were kids, and we were working together.
00:12And we didn't have any type of romance.
00:14But then years later, my good girlfriend was having a birthday party.
00:18I remember saying to my friend, I was like...
00:23Is Elliot cute now? Or is it just me?
00:27And she was like, girl, it is just you.
00:32I was like, so I see you finally took your braids out.
00:36Like, it's about time.
00:37It is how you spoke to me.
00:38Right.
00:39You started touching my head, too.
00:40I was into you, man.
00:41I'm not gonna lie, I was a little into you.
00:43I didn't look at it as any kind of, like, sexual flirtatious kind of thing.
00:46I was like, why is she grabbing my hair on crazy?
00:48And you were so not feeling my energy, actually.
00:52And you said, I got my braids out because my grandmother passed.
00:57My grandmother did not like the braids.
00:58She's not gonna be looking down on me from heaven with those braids in my hair.
01:04Yeah.
01:04And I was like, I am smooth getting married.
01:08I was about that life from that moment.
01:11What do you remember about our first date?
01:12We met at the Rose Bar at the Gramercy Hotel.
01:15Oh, yeah.
01:16And I definitely told you that I had another date.
01:19Oh, I'm so irritated by this to this day.
01:22You had a carve out.
01:24You had a, you had a...
01:26I'm just gonna talk to you for a minute, but I have to meet...
01:29I don't know the brother's name or something later on.
01:31I know his name.
01:32I knew that I already liked you, so I needed a boundary on my situation.
01:38It was just an instant, like, intensity of, like, this is who this person really is.
01:43Yes.
01:43She's strong, but she's also sweet.
01:45A number of reasons why we kept our relationship secret from the beginning, remember, because...
01:49I mean, we were just protective of it.
01:51We didn't want anybody to touch it.
01:53We didn't want anybody's opinion.
01:55We knew it would be instant judgment, too.
01:56That's the thing, too.
01:57We didn't want nobody's judgment.
01:58Because people knew of us as, like, strong individuals.
02:01We were always, like, competing against each other or, you know, with our brands or magazines
02:07or whatever, so we weren't really besties.
02:10Was there something at the beginning of our relationship that you were doing or had to
02:16do because you were getting to know me?
02:18I mean, I know what it is.
02:20Well, tell me and I'll tell you a few if I agree.
02:22Well, here's the...
02:23Relationships were new for me.
02:25The idea of publicly having a girlfriend and being out there, like, this is my woman,
02:30this is my lady.
02:31Like, I had done that, a trial version once before.
02:35Back in those days, I feel like it was a very big step to when you finally came out as
02:39a
02:39couple.
02:40It was.
02:40And for you to say, this is my person to the world.
02:43I was excited by it.
02:45I knew it felt right from jump.
02:46We were so scared when we moved in together.
02:48We woke up the first morning on that mattress.
02:51In my head, I was like, I have no idea what I've done.
02:54I moved out of an apartment that I had lived in for 11 years and I moved out in a
03:00month.
03:00Look at her face.
03:01You know, you were kind of set on a financial front and a home front with your whole structure.
03:06And here I come in, as loving as our situation was, it was disruptive.
03:10I wanted to take you out of that and I wanted to figure out how we could build a home.
03:15I was so mad.
03:16But I did it.
03:18What are you grateful for in our marriage?
03:20What I'm grateful to you for is listening, even when it's hard to listen to me.
03:27Because you're so generous, you take care of me.
03:31I did not have any idea that this is what it would be like.
03:39I feel like it's funny to hear you say those things because I know how much I do get on
03:42your nerves.
03:43I'm proud of us.
03:44It's like, this really worked.
03:46It worked and it works.
03:48And it's working.
03:49We've been able to still be our own individual selves and still be committed to this greater thing.
03:57When times get tough, why do you stay?
03:59We had a rule in our relationship.
04:01We still have it.
04:02That we're not allowed to utter the word divorce in a fight.
04:09Every time you say it, you take the power out of the word and then pretty soon it becomes an
04:14option.
04:15So is marriage like the ultimate decision that we made?
04:18My mantra is simple.
04:19We made promises.
04:21We made them to ourselves.
04:24We made them before God.
04:26We made them in front of family.
04:27It's not that I don't believe that we could ever break up because it's probably my deepest fear to be
04:35honest with you.
04:37Definitely won't allow it.
04:39I told you.
04:41There's going to be one Mrs. Wilson, so get your mind right.
04:44That's you.
04:44Now it ain't going to be another one.
04:47What's the easiest thing to love about me?
04:49There's nothing better than you being happy.
04:51I never know what foolishness you're going to get me involved in or what we're going to do next.
04:55Like why are we here on this couch?
04:56The easiest thing to love about you is that you're fun.
04:59That's the thing about you.
05:00You're fun.
05:00Still fun?
05:00You are still fun.
05:02We have dates still.
05:03I always feel like I get to go with Elliot so I know I'm going to have a good time.
05:07What's the hardest thing to love about me?
05:09The hardest thing to love about you is just your stubbornness and how tough it is to get you to
05:16forgive me and I'm sorry and can we be friends again.
05:19It's the conflict resolution.
05:21And like that idea.
05:23The fact that you're using the word conflict resolution.
05:27I should just find some joy in that.
05:29We said the biggest thing in the relationship is that you have to deal with the drama.
05:33You have to deal with the problems.
05:34It's easy to walk away.
05:35It's not easy.
05:36It's painful to walk away.
05:37But you can do that.
05:38And I've learned that the couch can be a man's best friend.
05:43There is no shame on sleeping on the couch.
05:45And that's the hard part.
05:46The hard part I think is when we have setbacks to get back on course.
05:50What is difficult to love about you?
05:52I know, right?
05:55Seriously, I can't with you.
05:56Just let me think because I have a list.
05:59I just have to call it up in the back of my head.
06:03Like your impulse is why or no.
06:08I start with no.
06:09It's like you're three and I'm like, I don't care.
06:11The Uber's on the way, kid.
06:13How does it feel to love a black woman?
06:16In my mind, I just always looked at my wife who's going to be a black woman.
06:19You are black and Filipino.
06:22But I'm black.
06:23You are black, yes.
06:24Having a strong black father still in my life to this day.
06:28My parents still being married.
06:30I was blessed to see family structure.
06:32Black family structure.
06:33And grew up that way.
06:35So I always felt like that blessing, that's what I equated to that's what it would be for me.
06:40It's different for me.
06:42Because I worry about you.
06:44Because you're black.
06:47You have a big mouth.
06:51I know how you get when you're confronted in ways that you don't like to be confronted.
07:01I worry.
07:03And I don't put that on you because I need you to be moving about with your freedom
07:07and happiness, but it's a part of it for me.
07:12It's a part of it, you know, with my nephew, with my brother-in-law, with my stepfather.
07:18It's just, it is.
07:19Yeah.
07:20How does it feel to love a black man on the good side?
07:26It feels like this thing that we have deeply in common.
07:29Yeah.
07:30There's so many things that you already know about me without even knowing me.
07:37There's a whole probably part of my humanity that does not have to be explained.
07:42You can get to know all the things that you're trying to get to go around.
07:42You could be truly a part of it.
07:42But I think I really need to do any of my hobbies.
