00:03Out of gas? But how?
00:05I put a dollar in this morning and we've only driven 90 cents.
00:08You had to drive with the windows down, didn't you, Rockefeller?
00:19I did it!
00:22Bonehead.
00:23Whoa! Am I seeing this right?
00:29I am!
00:30Time to spread the word!
00:45Where's Simpson?
00:46I couldn't get a hold of him. No cell phone.
00:49But if I know Bart, he's busy doing something awesome.
00:53Hey, Spaz, while you were here spazzing yourself, you totally missed out.
00:57Missed out? I didn't miss out.
00:59What'd I miss out on?
01:04No.
01:06Mom, even Milhouse has a cell phone. Your son is lamer than Milhouse. What does that say about you?
01:12Sweetie, we can't afford to get you a cell phone.
01:14Oh, I'm never gonna get a cell phone.
01:17And I'm never gonna go to Machu Picchu. In this family, you get used to disappointments.
01:21Oh, how am I ever gonna get a cell phone?
01:25Oh!
01:27Is this your ball?
01:28Why, yes it is.
01:30Here you go.
01:32Don't tell me where I go.
01:34A dollar? What for?
01:36It's the least I can do.
01:39I keep my nose on the grindstone. Work hard every day.
01:44I might get a little.
01:47I drank a little beer that evening.
01:50You're the one who's been poochin' on my territory.
01:53Groundskeeper Willie?
01:54Weekends and summers, I'm Greenskeeper Willie.
01:57Your ball scavenging days are over.
02:00And those orphan golf balls belong to me.
02:04I'm never gonna get a cell phone.
02:10Oh, great. We gotta wait for Dennis Leary.
02:16Damn it.
02:20Huh? A cell phone!
02:23Hey, Mule House, guess where I'm calling from?
02:27Cell phone!
02:28Hello?
02:29I just paid five million dollars for the screen rights to the book, Everybody Poops.
02:34Only one face came to mind for the constipated gorilla. Yours.
02:38This phone belongs to Dennis Leary.
02:40Dennis Leary?
02:41Boston comedian turned movie star turned basic cable notable?
02:46That's right!
02:49No longer must we live in shame.
02:52Let the decree go forth.
02:54Everybody poops!
02:56And cut!
02:58Mule House, I hold in this hand Dennis Leary's cell phone.
03:01And in this hand, the phone numbers of bars around the world.
03:04Let's start with Hawaii.
03:10I got a Drew P. Wiener here.
03:12Anyone expecting a Drew P. Wiener?
03:15I hold in my hand a Drew P. Wiener.
03:18Yeah, I shall inquire.
03:21Is there a mister my friend Sergei?
03:24First name Olaf.
03:27Oh, the sun never sets on the Bardish Empire.
03:31Yo, who's this?
03:32Dennis Leary, you little puke.
03:34I'm gonna rip out your heart with two fingers.
03:36They taught me how to do it for my show.
03:37How did you get a cell phone?
03:39Same way you got me, by accident, on a golf course.
03:42Whose phone is this?
03:44You'll never get it out of me.
03:45Okay.
03:45Mill House?
03:46It's Dennis Leary's!
03:48Bart Simpson's stolen cell phone.
03:50Can I help you?
03:51Damn straight you can.
03:52I'm Dennis Leary and your kid is out of control.
03:54I'm sorry, Mr. Leary.
03:57Sometimes it's hard to be a parent.
03:59I'll send you your phone back right away.
04:01Keep the phone.
04:02In fact, can I give you some advice?
04:03Of course.
04:04Give your kid back the phone.
04:05But first, activate its built-in GPS system.
04:07That way you can log onto your carrier's website
04:09and track your son's movements.
04:13Okay, here goes.
04:15Bart?
04:15I have something for you.
04:18Huh?
04:21Lady, you are the best mom ever.
04:29Boys!
04:32Hey, he went into a construction site.
04:34What are you doing at this construction site?
04:36Uh, trying to do something constructive?
04:40I'll just take Mill House home.
04:42What are you two doing in the laundry room?
04:45Uh, we're doing laundry.
04:48Tracking software?
04:51You're spying on Bart.
04:54Keeping track of someone because you love them is not wrong.
04:57Huh?
04:57It shows you care.
05:05Bart, there's something I need to tell you.
05:07Mom and Dad are spying on you.
05:09There's a tracking chip in your cell phone.
05:12They're spying on me?
05:13That's horrible.
05:14I know.
05:15It's a complete violation of your rights.
05:18I know.
05:32It's a complete violation of your rights.
05:34Sanctuary.
05:35Let's get them.
05:45So your family's been gone for three days?
05:48Yeah, and I think they may be gone a while longer.
05:50Oh, it looks like the grilled dwezzlers are ready.
05:53But I better get going.
05:54It's getting dark.
05:55My mom's gonna wake up soon.
05:57She gets upset if someone's not there to tell her where she is.
06:01Typical mom.
06:02You sure you don't want to stay and have a sleepover?
06:05Anyway, you have fun by yourself.
06:07Huh, there's no moon tonight.
06:09Real boogeyman weather.
06:16Something about this just doesn't seem right.
06:18Pull over!
06:19Bart's in this field!
06:23Bart!
06:25Where are you, boy?
06:29I think we're following you.
06:32What's your species, little guy?
06:35Oh, you're a scarlet tanager.
06:37You've been flying south because you're migrating to Machu Picchu, Peru?
06:42Well, I could tell mom and dad the chip is in the bird and hope they take me to Machu
06:46Picchu another time.
06:48Or...
06:50Mom! Dad! Bart's on the move!
06:53Night is scary.
06:54Day is awesome!
06:58Night is scary.
07:06Bart?
07:07Where are you, Bart?
07:09Is that him?
07:11No, it's just a bush.
07:24Greetings, sky-haired son-mother.
07:33Our mothers were the most overprotective in the greater Machu Picchu metropolitan area.
07:37So when they grew up, they were no match for the conquistadors.
07:40Oh shit!
07:43Whoop-va-voop-woop-woop-woop-whoop!
07:46Ah, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.
07:51So I can't always be there for Bart.
07:53He's got to learn to take care of himself.
07:55The computer says Bart's standing on his computer.
07:58All I see is a stupid bird with a tracking chip on its leg.
08:02hey thank god you're okay were you guys gone we were gone for two weeks i didn't even notice
08:10never leave again oh where's maggie oh uh she said
08:44hey can't you tell my voice from a ten-year-old kid
08:51oh no jung is refusing to fall back on his old catchphrases
08:55like a gorilla
08:57don't
09:02don't
