Who Is The Corniest Athlete? (The Bracket, Vol. 131)

Barstool Sports

KenJac | The Bracket

Transcript

00:00:00How many presidents do you think of 69?

00:00:02All of them.

00:00:04No, George Washington 69?

00:00:06I don't think so.

00:00:08People have been having sex forever.

00:00:10You're not 69.

00:00:12You're not 69.

00:00:14Welcome to The Bracket, episode 131.

00:00:16Today we are debating who the

00:00:18corniest athlete in the world is.

00:00:20We'll talk a little bit about

00:00:22what consists of corny versus

00:00:24cringe versus anything else and what we're going to include in this.

00:00:26Joining us today, Mush and Klemmer,

00:00:28constant duo on the show, and PFT,

00:00:30who hasn't been on in a long time.

00:00:32Hello Ken Jack, thank you for having me.

00:00:34Yeah, very excited to have you on. I feel like it's good to have you on too

00:00:36because a lot of athletes that are

00:00:38or were part of teams you like are on this list.

00:00:40Wow, yeah.

00:00:42Yeah, I hadn't thought about that. Maybe it's me.

00:00:44Might just be you.

00:00:46Or it might just be Dan Snyder, who knows.

00:00:48But before we get into that, let's hear from GameTime.

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00:01:46Alright, thanks to GameTime.

00:01:48Are you excited for the very first match at PFT?

00:01:50Because it's a guy you like, at least I think you still like.

00:01:52Yeah, no, I'm not excited because I think

00:01:54I'm just going to get roasted.

00:01:56It's Robert Griffin III.

00:01:58Robert Griffin III, who is a very corny guy,

00:02:00our number five seed,

00:02:02has done plenty of things to earn it.

00:02:04I'm not sure how recent,

00:02:06this might have been two years ago now,

00:02:08but when he wore the DeMar Hamlin jersey backwards

00:02:10so that he could make sure everyone knew

00:02:12it was a Hamlin jersey on the broadcast,

00:02:14even though when you wear it forwards, it still says

00:02:16the number on it.

00:02:18That's fly. Nelly does that.

00:02:20Nelly and the Silver Lunatics do that.

00:02:22Chris Cross did that.

00:02:24Nelly, I think, did Orlando Pace,

00:02:26which was cool.

00:02:28That was in 2003.

00:02:30I would say DeMar Hamlin is corny.

00:02:32Cognac to life is corny?

00:02:34Yeah, it was cringe.

00:02:36The doctor was corny, too.

00:02:38Oh, that thing?

00:02:40What is it, the line?

00:02:42You won the game of life.

00:02:44I didn't know that.

00:02:46That's what they said when he woke up.

00:02:48You won the game of life.

00:02:50No, I didn't, dude. I'm in the hospital.

00:02:52I almost died, dude.

00:02:54Oh, I hate that doctor.

00:02:56I'm 0-1 versus death currently.

00:02:58DeMar just wants the answer to the question.

00:03:00Do we win the game?

00:03:02Also, I don't know if he actually said that.

00:03:04No, of course he didn't.

00:03:06Zero chance, probably.

00:03:08It might be cornier to say that if you didn't actually say it.

00:03:10Yeah.

00:03:12In the press conference, you're like, I've got a banger.

00:03:14I've got a banger written up.

00:03:16You won the game of life.

00:03:18The game of life.

00:03:20He also has,

00:03:22and I'm sure you know this very well, PFT,

00:03:24his chronicle of posts about his wife.

00:03:26He's a wife guy.

00:03:28He's a big-time wife guy. Constantly posts about his wife.

00:03:30One of the ones I saw

00:03:32when I was researching was a picture of his wife

00:03:34doing a squat, and it's like,

00:03:36oh, but I have a white wife.

00:03:38I guess the joke is that his wife has a big S,

00:03:40so that's fighting

00:03:42the white wife stereotype.

00:03:44The number one wife guy in the world.

00:03:46Is this true with athletes on Facebook?

00:03:48People who constantly say

00:03:50how they're in great relationships are usually

00:03:52in the worst relationships.

00:03:54Do you have to say it all the time?

00:03:56Do you have to say it all the time?

00:03:58Doth protest too much?

00:04:00It seems like overkill, right?

00:04:02And those people always end up getting divorced.

00:04:04Yeah.

00:04:06OJ was always acting like he had a great marriage.

00:04:08That's true.

00:04:10He was corny as fuck.

00:04:12Big-time corny.

00:04:14RG3's wife,

00:04:16I respect their relationship now.

00:04:18I love-love. I got a chance to meet her

00:04:20out in, I think it was in Vegas,

00:04:22when we interviewed RG3.

00:04:24She terrified the fuck out of me.

00:04:26I thought she was going to kill me.

00:04:28Really?

00:04:30I respect her because she's standing up for her

00:04:32and her husband's relationship.

00:04:34I had made some jokes at their expense before,

00:04:36and then she was

00:04:38very, very unhappy with me, and I was like,

00:04:40okay, I'm sorry.

00:04:42She brought it up in person?

00:04:44Right off the bat, she walked in the room,

00:04:46and she just laid into me.

00:04:48What did she say?

00:04:50I would prefer that over the tension.

00:04:52She was like, you've said some very unkind things

00:04:54about me and Robert and our relationship.

00:04:56That's good for her.

00:04:58Stood up for a man, so I respect her,

00:05:00and I'm also terrified of her

00:05:02in the healthiest way possible.

00:05:04RG3, I know you consume a lot of content.

00:05:06If you hear this, just know I respect you

00:05:08and your relationship. I don't want that smoke.

00:05:10I don't want the smoke with Greta.

00:05:12I do have to bring up my favorite RG3

00:05:14Instagram post of all time.

00:05:16He went to go to SeaWorld

00:05:18with his wife,

00:05:20and they saw the beluga whale

00:05:22or the dolphin or whatever.

00:05:24There's a dolphin in this picture,

00:05:26and RG3 says, the dolphin thought it was the star

00:05:28of the show, but you were the real star of the show, baby,

00:05:30and then tagged his wife in it.

00:05:32I love that.

00:05:34That's an insult. You were the star of the show

00:05:36at SeaWorld.

00:05:38You fucking whale.

00:05:42I'm not going to make fun of him.

00:05:44He also originally said

00:05:46to make the wife get mad.

00:05:48Things of that nature, just pointing out

00:05:50that he's corny.

00:05:52He would always post about his wife, and I'd be like, how's Greta doing?

00:05:54It's just a fun name to say, Greta.

00:05:56Anytime that there's

00:05:58a quarterback that gets hurt,

00:06:00he still says he can play.

00:06:02No matter what, he's like, I should be

00:06:04in the conversation.

00:06:06He's a bad take guy, too. He's always got

00:06:08a really bad take to throw out, which isn't necessarily

00:06:10a corny thing, but he always feels like he wants to be in the conversation,

00:06:12so he throws a bad take out there.

00:06:14In the most recent

00:06:16round of the Caitlin Clark News, I was constantly

00:06:18refreshing his stream. I want to know

00:06:20how he's going to try to thread the needle

00:06:22on this one take, where he

00:06:24appears that he's supporting female athletes,

00:06:26but at the same time, supporting the

00:06:28female athletes that don't like the female athlete.

00:06:30Yes, exactly. He's going

00:06:32up against his draft mate, Andrew Luck,

00:06:34a guy that I didn't necessarily want to throw in here, but

00:06:36he was brought up a ton. He is a

00:06:38relatively corny guy, big book guy,

00:06:40which is corny depending on what type

00:06:42of book guy you are. He's not corny.

00:06:44Depending on what type of book guy you are.

00:06:46He is a little bit nerdy, and I think maybe part

00:06:48of our perception

00:06:50of him is soured by

00:06:52Colonel Andrew Luck, or whatever those accounts

00:06:54would be, where the Civil War bullshit

00:06:56and all that. But I don't know.

00:06:58PFT, do you have any other corny

00:07:00quotes from Andrew Luck? He had a flip phone

00:07:02for a long time. I remember that post.

00:07:04He was dialing T9. He was doing T9

00:07:06texting. Just a few years

00:07:08ago. He's also kind of like

00:07:10he might be more of a nerd,

00:07:12which is different, I think,

00:07:14than corny.

00:07:16It's only corny if he was trying to get caught with

00:07:18reading a book on concrete in the

00:07:20locker room, but I think he was probably not

00:07:22flaunting it.

00:07:24He also was like, anytime he got sacked,

00:07:26he would be like, thank you, or good hit,

00:07:28and always compliment. I think he was

00:07:30just a weirdo, and he was

00:07:32just himself. The guy retired, and we

00:07:34didn't see him for a while, until

00:07:36a couple years ago, we saw him.

00:07:38They booed him when he retired.

00:07:40I would boo him, too.

00:07:42He's almost too unique

00:07:44to be corny. He's too weird

00:07:46to be corny. I agree.

00:07:48I wouldn't have picked him, but he was brought up a lot.

00:07:50All the tweets, Instagram, all that stuff.

00:07:52Andrew Luck, Andrew Luck, Andrew Luck.

00:07:54Andrew Luck versus RG3.

00:07:56Who do you think is a cornier athlete?

00:07:58RG3, just because I think

00:08:00Andrew Luck knows who he is,

00:08:02and it is just a nerd, but

00:08:04RG3 does try to be

00:08:06super cool, despite all of

00:08:08his very odd tendencies.

00:08:10Remember when he raced a bird?

00:08:12We know you're fast, dude.

00:08:14We know it.

00:08:16In-flight bird?

00:08:18In-flight bird, yeah. What kind of bird?

00:08:20I believe it was an osprey.

00:08:22Past bird. It was a pretty quick bird.

00:08:24It was before the Seahawks game, I think,

00:08:26and he was on the field.

00:08:28It was a hawk. Even faster.

00:08:30So there's no such thing as a Seahawk?

00:08:32I looked into that last year.

00:08:34Yeah, an osprey could be considered

00:08:36to be a Seahawk, but that's not

00:08:38even their mascot.

00:08:40It's a Seahawk.

00:08:42So they just invented a bird.

00:08:44But anyways, yeah, RG3 faster than a bird.

00:08:46I'm going to say Andrew Luck

00:08:48because I'm scared of Greta.

00:08:50Honestly, I'm kind of scared now.

00:08:52Getting bodied by the dude's wife

00:08:54is a pretty intimidating story.

00:08:56She could beat my ass, for sure.

00:08:58The article here is that he got

00:09:00Robert Griffin III dusted a hawk

00:09:02on the Seahawks field pre-game.

00:09:04So RG3 won?

00:09:06He won. He beat the hawk.

00:09:08He beat the hawk by a while.

00:09:10I don't know how you start at the same time.

00:09:12Plus that bird isn't really a motivation

00:09:14to win this race.

00:09:16Does that bird know it's racing?

00:09:18No, he's just flying.

00:09:20Nick?

00:09:22I'm going to go RG3 here.

00:09:24His Twitter is a great read.

00:09:26Just scrolling through.

00:09:28He's entertaining.

00:09:30But yeah, a little corny.

00:09:32Just a little bit corny. KB?

00:09:34I don't know, but all I see is

00:09:36he is the corn corny

00:09:38person, right?

00:09:40He's the cornball brother.

00:09:42Rob Parker?

00:09:44That's crazy.

00:09:46That was nuts.

00:09:48I don't even know what that means.

00:09:50KB, you know the history

00:09:52behind that term and RG3, right?

00:09:54Oh, it's brutal.

00:09:56Wait, explain that?

00:09:58His rookie year, he was dominating.

00:10:00He was dominating, and then Rob Parker,

00:10:02who is an all-time takes guy,

00:10:04one of the weirdest dudes that has ever

00:10:06talked about sports. He was a writer in

00:10:08Detroit for a while, but I think he was on ESPN

00:10:10on first take, and they were having

00:10:12the debate, is Robert Griffin

00:10:14black enough?

00:10:16He's kind of a cornball brother.

00:10:18You know some of the barbie drops I go to?

00:10:20He's a cornball brother.

00:10:22That was a big Twitter term early on.

00:10:26He tries to be cool, correct?

00:10:28Yeah, you could make that argument.

00:10:30It's fine to not be cool.

00:10:32He free orchestrates cool sayings

00:10:34and is too forced. He's not actually cool.

00:10:36I feel like we're doing this show with Coleman.

00:10:38Oh, that's right. I forgot about that.

00:10:40No, it's just New Jersey coming out.

00:10:42That's right. Sorry.

00:10:44Go RG3.

00:10:46I don't think luck is corny.

00:10:48Then we had the debate, is Ben Roethlisberger white enough?

00:10:50That was a tough one.

00:10:56I think we can let that debate rest in 2013.

00:10:58That was a really good time

00:11:00to have that discussion.

00:11:02Now we've moved on.

00:11:04It's RG3.

00:11:06He's a corny dude.

00:11:08Yeah, it's RG3.

00:11:10It's funny because when he was an athlete,

00:11:12rookie year, I never thought of him as...

00:11:14Now, PFT was more

00:11:16aware of what was going on with the Washington

00:11:18football team at that time than I was.

00:11:20But I never thought of him as a corny guy.

00:11:22But the second he's been in the media,

00:11:24he's been one of the most corny media guys

00:11:26you can find. It's got to be him.

00:11:28So when he was a quarterback on the football team,

00:11:30or I guess the Redskins at the time,

00:11:32he benefited from having Kirk Cousins

00:11:34as his backup.

00:11:36So he always looked slightly less corny.

00:11:38So he always looked corny.

00:11:40I don't know if he's on it,

00:11:42but Kirk is also now considered cool.

00:11:44We're going to have a conversation about Kirk.

00:11:46Don't you worry about that.

00:11:48But yeah, we'll talk about Kirk in a bit.

00:11:50Next up as RG3 moves on is the number 4 seed

00:11:52versus the 13 seed. The 4th seed is Travis Kelsey.

00:11:54Travis Kelsey is a guy who has

00:11:56benefited a ton

00:11:58from being on an extremely good football team

00:12:00and being an extremely good player.

00:12:02Because if he was even slightly worse and they weren't winning,

00:12:04he would be getting shredded nonstop.

00:12:06Because he's a corny, corny dude.

00:12:08I don't think he is.

00:12:10Dude, he is so corny.

00:12:14That's Dana.

00:12:16That's a guy who just loves to chug beer.

00:12:18I don't think he's changed though.

00:12:20I think that's who he is.

00:12:22But you can still be corny.

00:12:24No, I think that's Andrew Luck.

00:12:26That's who he is.

00:12:28He's trying to be gronk too much.

00:12:30And him graduating and doing the beer chugging bike?

00:12:3235.

00:12:34I think he is relatively cool enough

00:12:36to attempt.

00:12:38That's what I'm saying.

00:12:40He is cool.

00:12:42He was at the Super Bowl parade and he goes,

00:12:44you gotta fight for your right to party.

00:12:46That's the corniest shit on the fucking planet.

00:12:48But it's okay because he's that good.

00:12:50But that goes into it.

00:12:52When you're that good and you're on the top of the world,

00:12:54I think you're just cool.

00:12:56We're seeing a meme in real life right now.

00:12:58Ken Jack is the little guy

00:13:00with his hands in his pockets really pissed off

00:13:02at the normal guy that's walking by whistling.

00:13:04That's exactly it.

00:13:08I think Travis Kelce is just 100% pure bro.

00:13:10He had a dating show in 2015

00:13:12before he was like...

00:13:14I did too.

00:13:16I was the first viewer I think.

00:13:18It was a great show. Unbelievable show.

00:13:20He's just a corny dude.

00:13:22And that's going up as number 13 seed Carl Anthony Towns

00:13:24who has caught a lot of flack over the last few years.

00:13:26I think he's corny.

00:13:28He's zesty.

00:13:30He's got a bunch of different voices in his bag.

00:13:32What does he say?

00:13:34Crazy because after all that,

00:13:36they took him off the court to put him even closer

00:13:38to the locker room.

00:13:40There's one picture...

00:13:42He says,

00:13:44And then I was like...

00:13:46And then I was like...

00:13:48And then he'll go to his next interview

00:13:50and be very deep baritone.

00:13:52It's very weird.

00:13:54He's like the Kelsey Plum of the NBA.

00:13:56I could see him shoveling popcorn into him.

00:13:58And doing the look.

00:14:00They would, wouldn't they?

00:14:02Absolutely.

00:14:04Travis Kelsey vs. Carl Anthony Towns.

00:14:06I gotta go with Kelsey here.

00:14:08My favorite band of all time is the Beastie Boys.

00:14:10And Travis Kelsey is so corny, he makes me like them less.

00:14:12That one chorus.

00:14:14What's your favorite Beastie Boys song?

00:14:18I mean, Sabotage.

00:14:20Sabotage is so...

00:14:22I thought that was a song.

00:14:24Can't stand...

00:14:26Sabotage is so

00:14:28cliche.

00:14:30My favorite...

00:14:32Check Your Head Out is really good.

00:14:34I would recommend that one.

00:14:36If you want a deeper cut.

00:14:38If you broke into the middle of Sabotage

00:14:40like they just thought you were doing,

00:14:42it would have been very funny.

00:14:44I'm going with Kat.

00:14:46You guys are just jealous of Travis Kelsey.

00:14:48Yes, we all should be.

00:14:50He's dating the superstar.

00:14:52I think it's just like,

00:14:54that's who he is.

00:14:56Is there anything on earth that shouldn't be jealous of Travis Kelsey?

00:14:58I'm not jealous of him.

00:15:00I think he's like, oh, that guy's cool.

00:15:02I understand why you think he's corny.

00:15:04He's old, he's still doing

00:15:06WW references all the time.

00:15:08He's chugging beer all the time.

00:15:10I think he's just...

00:15:12Any dude that's doing better than me, I'm jealous of.

00:15:14Jealous of Kyle, jealous of PFT.

00:15:22I'm going Kat.

00:15:24I gotta jump in here too.

00:15:26Favorite Beastie Boys song? Johnny Royale.

00:15:28Off Paul's Boutique.

00:15:30Thank you for making sure.

00:15:32Johnny Royale!

00:15:34That's not a bad album.

00:15:36Johnny Royale, Paul's Boutique is a fantastic album.

00:15:38KB?

00:15:40I don't know enough about Kat.

00:15:42All I know is that

00:15:44he sounds gay sometimes.

00:15:46Isn't necessarily corny to me.

00:15:48Kelsey,

00:15:50I don't think he's a huge cornball,

00:15:52but I think he is at a level

00:15:54where he's in his mid-30s.

00:15:56He does the...

00:15:58What is it? The hood accent?

00:16:00He puts on a black scent.

00:16:02Code switches?

00:16:04I think that's a little bit corny.

00:16:06I think the chugging the beer is a little bit corny.

00:16:08It's like it's...

00:16:10He's borderline.

00:16:12It is the Dana-sphere, but Dana I think is funnier.

00:16:14I think

00:16:16Jason Kelsey is more corny than...

00:16:18Why?

00:16:20He tries more like

00:16:22I'm not going to get dressed up for this.

00:16:24He's wearing the mask.

00:16:26I think he tries more

00:16:28to be like this guy who doesn't give a fuck.

00:16:30Where Travis is like, he kind of knows it

00:16:32and just keeps going.

00:16:34Can you imagine Dana talking with a black scent?

00:16:36That would be horrible.

00:16:38That's not anything...

00:16:40I guess I can't imagine that.

00:16:42Just watch Donnie and Billy.

00:16:44Oh yeah.

00:16:46Yeah.

00:16:48I'll go with Kelsey.

00:16:50Go with Kelsey.

00:16:52I think Taylor Swift is corny herself.

00:16:54I like that take.

00:16:56She's a superstar,

00:16:58but you know,

00:17:00like millennial corny.

00:17:02Nick?

00:17:04If Travis Kelsey wasn't

00:17:06a Hall of Fame tight end,

00:17:08and he was just like a dude,

00:17:10he's like every dude that stayed in their hometown.

00:17:12Yeah.

00:17:14He's a big flirt.

00:17:16I'd imagine.

00:17:18Big studded earrings.

00:17:20I'd imagine

00:17:22he always rubs his palms together and laughs.

00:17:24He for sure

00:17:26does that.

00:17:28I'm working on a Kelsey impression.

00:17:30Stop playing.

00:17:32Come on.

00:17:34Are you coming over or not?

00:17:36I know you are.

00:17:38Taking a shower without me?

00:17:40He's a big without me guy.

00:17:42Y'all are too funny.

00:17:44Where's that hug?

00:17:46Get that hug.

00:17:48So you're going to stick with Kelsey?

00:17:50Yeah, I got to go with Kelsey.

00:17:52I think Karl-Anthony Towns

00:17:54is probably just not gay,

00:17:56but a little gay.

00:17:58It's because he's not as big of a star.

00:18:00You don't know much about him.

00:18:02I don't know anything about him.

00:18:04Yeah, Kelsey's in our face more.

00:18:06I don't think he seems corny.

00:18:08Just watch the podcast.

00:18:10I think that's why I'm so out of it.

00:18:12I think he's being unashamedly him,

00:18:14which is, I guess, you can't be corny.

00:18:16But it is kind of ashamedly

00:18:18because he switches his voice.

00:18:20No, not Kelsey. I mean Kat.

00:18:22His is why.

00:18:24There is something corny about

00:18:26celebrating a three-pointer in the first quarter

00:18:28and then just missing every shot

00:18:30for the rest of the game and losing.

00:18:32Something a little corny about that.

00:18:34He's the kind of guy,

00:18:36he wouldn't shock me if he showed up

00:18:38and rode a unicycle.

00:18:40Or rode one of those tiny little hoverboards.

00:18:42The hoverboard, yeah.

00:18:44I can guarantee you,

00:18:46if I looked up Carl Anthony Towns hoverboard,

00:18:48there's a picture of him on one.

00:18:50I would bet so much money.

00:18:52I do like the point, though, Nick, that you brought up.

00:18:54Kelsey does remind me of the guy that stayed home

00:18:56and became a rapper.

00:18:58He just happens to be a Hall of Fame tight end.

00:19:00If he weren't, he's that.

00:19:02Yeah, he's doing the videos from POV

00:19:04in his car seat and he's like,

00:19:06I love Snapchat.

00:19:08He always posts on Payday

00:19:10with the money up his arm

00:19:12and it's like $126.

00:19:14PFT?

00:19:16I'm going to go Kat.

00:19:18I'm going to go Carl Anthony Towns on this one.

00:19:20One for Carl Anthony Towns.

00:19:22Kelsey's always feeding me.

00:19:24Or a Black & Mild, a wood-tip wine Black & Mild.

00:19:26What we're not going to do on this podcast

00:19:28is trash wood-tip wine.

00:19:30That's what we're not going to do.

00:19:32I do think there is something

00:19:34about Travis Kelsey, though,

00:19:36that recently, since he's becoming

00:19:38a multimedia star,

00:19:40he's doing network TV and all this,

00:19:42he is trying to be everything to everyone.

00:19:44That's impossible.

00:19:46It is a corny move.

00:19:48He'll figure out that it's not possible,

00:19:50but he's trying to play every side

00:19:52to be mass-marketable,

00:19:54which is a good business move.

00:19:56There's nothing corny about getting your paper up, boys.

00:19:58Which is something he said in one of those Facebook videos.

00:20:00Also, shout out Joey Chestnut.

00:20:02Nothing corny about getting your paper up.

00:20:04He does the laugh from the Shy Ronnie skit.

00:20:08Talk about black and white,

00:20:10trying to get along.

00:20:12I'm all about that green.

00:20:14Jay?

00:20:16I think Travis Kelsey is too good.

00:20:20He has a pass to do whatever.

00:20:22He has the pass? No.

00:20:24I hate that.

00:20:26You can't say the pass.

00:20:28Only Max Crosby's got it.

00:20:30He can do almost anything.

00:20:32He's scoring his walk-off touchdown.

00:20:34His third touchdown of the game

00:20:36against Los Angeles Chargers.

00:20:38This guy on primetime TV

00:20:40can do almost anything.

00:20:42Cat sucks.

00:20:44He is so frustrating.

00:20:46He has so many different voices.

00:20:48He had a 60-point game this year

00:20:50and his teammates weren't even

00:20:52hyped about it or cheering him.

00:20:54Didn't they sit him at the last four minutes?

00:20:56Yeah, they did.

00:20:58His coach was mad.

00:21:00That was a disgusting display of basketball.

00:21:02Come on, you're corny

00:21:04if you score 60 and get sad.

00:21:06That's bad.

00:21:08I think they lost that game

00:21:10and were playing the Hornets.

00:21:12Topping 60 against the Hornets

00:21:14is very corny.

00:21:16And getting sad.

00:21:18But he's just so awkward.

00:21:20He has just giant feet.

00:21:22He's huge.

00:21:24He's like 7'4".

00:21:26He had the take

00:21:28on the Pat Bev pod

00:21:30where he was like,

00:21:32after Denver winning the title,

00:21:34us going toe-to-toe to Denver

00:21:36was the most impressive thing.

00:21:38I think

00:21:40everything Cat does is pretty corny.

00:21:42So you're going to go with Cat?

00:21:44That means we're tied up 3-3 right now.

00:21:46Sean, our intern, is going to break the tie.

00:21:50I'm going to go with Cat

00:21:52on this one.

00:21:54I think if he was in the limelight

00:21:56like we're seeing Kelsey,

00:21:58because Kelsey's just all over everybody's pages.

00:22:00He's in our face a lot.

00:22:02If we got Cat that much,

00:22:04I think we'd see that.

00:22:06And like Che just brought up

00:22:08the 60 point game against the Hornets.

00:22:10That was the same night Embiid dropped 70.

00:22:12And they were like actively

00:22:16keeping track of Embiid's points

00:22:18to try and get Cat to beat him.

00:22:20So yeah, I'm going to do Cat.

00:22:22That's more bad luck than being corny.

00:22:24Getting upstaged on a 60.9 is corny.

00:22:26That's corny.

00:22:28You should have known.

00:22:30I should have done it any other day.

00:22:32So Cat's going to move on.

00:22:34Now we have the 8th seed vs. the 9th seed.

00:22:36The 8th seed is Kirk Cousins,

00:22:38who we just mentioned earlier before.

00:22:40Kirk Cousins, very corny guy.

00:22:42Definitely they've tried to redeem his image a bit

00:22:44with the Kirko chains and all that.

00:22:46The quarterback series made him more endearing,

00:22:48I feel like, instead of corny.

00:22:50He seems like more of an everyman.

00:22:52Like, I don't know.

00:22:54Like a suburban dad in Iowa.

00:22:56He's like an everyman.

00:22:58He's almost like what you draw up

00:23:00a boring suburban dad to be.

00:23:02He's him.

00:23:04But he just happens to be awesome at football.

00:23:06Or pretty good at football.

00:23:08He's going up against a controversial one,

00:23:10but one that got submitted a ton.

00:23:12And I see why, because of the Twitter world.

00:23:14And that's Deion Sanders.

00:23:16If you scroll through Deion's Twitter,

00:23:18it is some of the corniest tweets

00:23:20you'll ever see in your goddamn life.

00:23:22Yeah, I've been thinking this for a while.

00:23:24So I have some pulled up.

00:23:26The very last one.

00:23:28The heart is always accompanied by emotions, feelings, and sensitivity.

00:23:30Corny.

00:23:32I know it's hard to take yourself out of the situation,

00:23:34but would you make the same situation if it was happening to you or a loved one?

00:23:36Do what's right. Hashtag Coach Prime.

00:23:38A lot of hashtag Coach Prime at the end of it.

00:23:40A lot of these tweets, every one of them retweeted by Casey Smith.

00:23:42They are incredible.

00:23:44They are incredibly corny.

00:23:46Using hashtags, I think, is very corny.

00:23:48Very corny.

00:23:50As a male, you should not hit that pound key.

00:23:52Yeah, a little bit.

00:23:54The one thing is,

00:23:56this is the same guy that threw

00:23:58poor cold water on Tim McCarver

00:24:00in the 1992 playoffs.

00:24:02So at one point in time,

00:24:04Deion Sanders was not corny.

00:24:06Never forget.

00:24:08That's all I think about.

00:24:10I don't know if this is corny or not,

00:24:12but back in the day it was considered cool.

00:24:14He would draw the dollar sign with his bat

00:24:16in the batter's box.

00:24:18That's kind of cool.

00:24:20If Aaron Judge did that now,

00:24:22he'd be like, that's the lamest thing I've ever seen.

00:24:24I don't know, man.

00:24:26At one point in time,

00:24:28I guess I'm trying to say,

00:24:30Deion Sanders was considered the coolest athlete in the world.

00:24:32And now, but you read that,

00:24:34and that is absolutely a corny tweet.

00:24:36Which is...

00:24:38Maybe the fact that he's kind of flipped is extra corny.

00:24:40I don't know.

00:24:42At one point in time, when I was 12 or 13 years old,

00:24:44this guy was the epitome of cool.

00:24:46Stop saying you love this or that,

00:24:48but don't give your heart, mind, or a dime to it.

00:24:50Love is about action.

00:24:52Love is about movement. Hashtag Coach Prime.

00:24:54Is there a forum

00:24:56where you copy and paste these?

00:24:58Because guys that tweet like this,

00:25:00are they writing this prose?

00:25:02I don't know. I don't think so.

00:25:04I feel like it has to be ripped from somewhere.

00:25:06Once you become a coach, you just start thinking like that.

00:25:08Everything is a life lesson.

00:25:10In my mind, I couldn't formulate one of these.

00:25:12You think?

00:25:14Yeah.

00:25:16It's hard to do.

00:25:18Che, you're going to be up first.

00:25:20Kirk Cousins or Deion Sanders?

00:25:22I like both of these guys.

00:25:24I think you're right.

00:25:26The quarterback series opened everybody's eyes to be like,

00:25:28alright, this guy is just kind of a...

00:25:30I don't want to say a cheapskate,

00:25:32but he's a little bit frugal and likes doing every man's stuff.

00:25:34This guy's career earnings

00:25:36are in the hundreds of millions of dollars.

00:25:38That's just because that's what he likes to do.

00:25:40I wouldn't be surprised if Kirk Cousins

00:25:42family shopped at Costco.

00:25:44That being said,

00:25:46his image,

00:25:48certainly recently,

00:25:50the shirt off on the plane with the chains

00:25:52and kind of leaning into that,

00:25:54I think is pretty cool.

00:25:56Che, are you holding the mic like that because it makes your bicep look bigger?

00:25:58Yeah, you're pushing it out.

00:26:00That's natural.

00:26:02That's corny.

00:26:04I'm probably pretty corny.

00:26:06You are kind of similar to Kirk Cousins

00:26:08the more I think about it.

00:26:10You guys run a lot of the same circles.

00:26:12Che is very, very on Kirk Cousins.

00:26:14You're going to go with Dion?

00:26:16It's hard to go against Dion

00:26:18because I think PFT is right.

00:26:20When you're a coach, you just kind of become that.

00:26:22I think if he is saying those things to you

00:26:24and you're like a player in his locker room,

00:26:26I think that translates.

00:26:28But when you just have no voice behind it

00:26:30and it's just font and text on Twitter,

00:26:32I don't think it comes through very well.

00:26:34What other coaches do this, though?

00:26:36A lot of college coaches, I think, do this.

00:26:38Do a lot of other college coaches tweet out

00:26:40this weird inspirational bullshit?

00:26:42Not that much.

00:26:44Yeah, college coaches do that.

00:26:46Dion is the most famous college coach

00:26:48if you can make that argument.

00:26:50Just in terms of brand name recognition.

00:26:52So he's the most visible one doing it right now.

00:26:54I'm going to go with Kirk Cousins.

00:26:56But I don't know.

00:26:58I don't think it's going to work.

00:27:00I don't think it's going to work.

00:27:02But I don't think either of these guys are super corny.

00:27:06Well, here's the thing.

00:27:08If Kirk Cousins won this bracket,

00:27:10he would actually be happy with it.

00:27:12Which makes him not corny.

00:27:14Yes, exactly.

00:27:16And Dion would fucking kill all of us.

00:27:18Yeah, he would kill us.

00:27:20That's not corny either.

00:27:22That's also very cool and not corny.

00:27:24I think Chase is kind of right.

00:27:26They're both just not that corny.

00:27:28I think Dion is really corny now.

00:27:30But he used to not be corny at all.

00:27:32So I'm having a hard time...

00:27:34It's hard to call the guy who was the coolest player ever

00:27:36to be corny, but right now he is.

00:27:38He really is.

00:27:40He had his own line of do-rags.

00:27:42We sold them at the Barstool store.

00:27:44Trent bought like three of them.

00:27:46He wears them all the time.

00:27:48PFT?

00:27:50I'm going to go with Kirk.

00:27:52I think it fits him a little bit more.

00:27:54You have to separate Dion Sanders on Twitter

00:27:56from Dion Sanders in real life.

00:27:58He's not that corny of a person.

00:28:00He might be trending in the corny direction right now.

00:28:02But Kirk Cousins, I think,

00:28:04loves Nickelback.

00:28:06Loves Creed.

00:28:08Drives a van.

00:28:10Basically been a dad his entire life.

00:28:12He just finally had kids to match it.

00:28:14I think I'm going to go with Kirk on this one.

00:28:16Another one for Kirk. Nick?

00:28:18Can you think of a more opposite city fit

00:28:20than Atlanta and Kirk Cousins?

00:28:22Yeah.

00:28:24Boulder, Colorado.

00:28:26Yeah.

00:28:28They just need to do a life swap.

00:28:32Kirk Cousins also,

00:28:34I want to know what he bought.

00:28:36What's his biggest purchase that he's made?

00:28:38By the end of this contract, $300 million?

00:28:40What's the biggest thing do you think

00:28:42he spent his money on?

00:28:44Like a shed.

00:28:46Central Air.

00:28:48Good shed.

00:28:50Probably buying a new lawnmower

00:28:52when the old one wasn't all the way dead yet.

00:28:54I don't even think.

00:28:56Net worth of $120 million as of right now.

00:28:58That huge contract is going to

00:29:00kick in another $27 million a year.

00:29:02I don't know.

00:29:04It's got to be Kirk for me.

00:29:06Another one for Kirk. KB?

00:29:08So I think of Corny

00:29:10as an attempt

00:29:12to be cool,

00:29:14but a fail.

00:29:16Kirk is very uncool.

00:29:18Maybe lame is the word.

00:29:20Is Dion Corny?

00:29:22I think the religious

00:29:24stuff is disingenuous.

00:29:26Hypocritical, maybe.

00:29:28I think maybe he's an asshole.

00:29:30Keep going.

00:29:34I think he's still kind of cool.

00:29:36Maybe.

00:29:38I'm not the guy to say.

00:29:40I'll go Kirk Cousins.

00:29:42He's a cornball.

00:29:44When Colorado started out hot this year,

00:29:46he was like the story.

00:29:48I don't want to say he made college football really cool,

00:29:50but he was like the face

00:29:52of college football, at least for a month.

00:29:54Then it was kind of funny.

00:29:56Snoop Dogg's coming into the locker room.

00:29:58They're 3-9.

00:30:00That's also not great.

00:30:02Getting the shit kicked in.

00:30:04We're going to shit on Kat for having a 60-point game and a loss.

00:30:06Then we got to shit on Dion for talking all this shit.

00:30:08Then the team goes in the toilet.

00:30:10What was very cool was the Oregon coach

00:30:12being like, yeah, we're going to fuck them up at halftime

00:30:14and just wrecked them.

00:30:16When they put the chains

00:30:18on Kirk Cousins,

00:30:20that's somebody else trying to make Kirk look.

00:30:22That's not Kirk trying to be cool.

00:30:24He looked like your dog on Halloween

00:30:26with the costume on.

00:30:28Sitting there like,

00:30:30are you guys done taking the shit now?

00:30:32Please get this off

00:30:34as soon as possible.

00:30:36Although he did do the commercial with the chain thing

00:30:38as well, which is him

00:30:40volunteering to do it.

00:30:42He's getting paid, though.

00:30:44Marty.

00:30:46I'm going Dion for really just one reason.

00:30:48I don't know if you guys on TikTok

00:30:50see, he does this ad for this

00:30:52icy breeze cooler.

00:30:54It makes me so fucking

00:30:56angry. This thing?

00:30:58No, I don't think I've seen that before.

00:31:00You're going to get it now since I said it.

00:31:02It makes me so angry when I see him.

00:31:04Dion's better than the icy breeze

00:31:06cooler. Do something else.

00:31:08It sounds awesome.

00:31:10It's a great product.

00:31:12I actually almost bought it because of it, but I hate

00:31:14him on the ad, so I'm

00:31:16going with Dion just for that.

00:31:18The most redundant product name is three different

00:31:20adjectives for cool.

00:31:22Wait, it has like a pump on the top? Oh, this is a crazy

00:31:24cooler. It's a $300 cooler.

00:31:26I'm getting that.

00:31:28Wait a minute. That's the cheapest model.

00:31:30Oh, no.

00:31:32What is this thing?

00:31:34That's going to take off.

00:31:36Wait, it's an air conditioner?

00:31:38It has an AC in it.

00:31:40Get a cooler and then get Dion Sanders

00:31:42to sponsor it and not call it Freon Dion.

00:31:46See, that's what I'm saying. It's pissing me off.

00:31:48I can't figure this thing out.

00:31:50I've seen his Aflac commercials a ton of times.

00:31:52They spam that during the fall.

00:31:54Clemmer?

00:31:56Yeah, I'm going to go with Dion. I feel like

00:31:58Kirk Cousins is true to himself, and there's

00:32:00something honorable in that.

00:32:02I feel like Dion, the fact that he

00:32:04has flipped into this

00:32:06motivational speaker,

00:32:08he's a bad football coach, potentially.

00:32:10I don't know.

00:32:12I feel like, who is the real Dion?

00:32:14Does the real Dion exist?

00:32:16I don't know if that's corny or not,

00:32:18but it's kind of lame.

00:32:20I'm going to go with that.

00:32:22You talk about Dion being cool.

00:32:24It's one of my favorite things ever.

00:32:26What do you mean?

00:32:28I'm picturing Dion watching this and seeing you

00:32:30talk if he's cool.

00:32:32None of us are cool. I'm just saying it's funny for you.

00:32:34I will say,

00:32:36I don't know how old he is,

00:32:38but I remember distinctly when he was

00:32:40literally the face of cool.

00:32:42To see him become this other

00:32:44person is weird.

00:32:46He found God in, what, 97?

00:32:48Everything changed.

00:32:50I went out to

00:32:52when he was in Mississippi. I went and played

00:32:54every sport against him. It was pretty cool

00:32:56to see how fucking good he was.

00:32:58It's still.

00:33:00That's cool.

00:33:02How was he?

00:33:04Cool.

00:33:06It was also like an hour.

00:33:08It was still something.

00:33:10Now we have the number one seed versus the 16th seed.

00:33:12The chain game.

00:33:14Three options all from Che first.

00:33:16Vijay Singh.

00:33:18What?

00:33:20Corny?

00:33:22I don't know anything about him.

00:33:24I know who he is.

00:33:26He's kind of old now.

00:33:28Vijay's old.

00:33:30The Fijian, right?

00:33:32Vijay.

00:33:34There was a cheating scandal with Vijay.

00:33:36Not talking about his relationships.

00:33:38On the course.

00:33:40He got caught cheating a couple times.

00:33:42That's awesome.

00:33:44That's not corny.

00:33:46I don't respect it.

00:33:48If he's out there kicking the ball,

00:33:50that'd be awesome.

00:33:52They asked him one time, too,

00:33:54about Anika Sorenstam.

00:33:56Do you think Anika should be allowed

00:33:58to play on the PGA Tour?

00:34:00I think he's a rock.

00:34:02He's a huge rock.

00:34:04Michael Chang.

00:34:06Why Michael Chang?

00:34:08I liked him.

00:34:10Won the 1989 French Open,

00:34:12but was always kind of a squirrely little weird

00:34:14tennis player.

00:34:16I don't know what was corny about him, though.

00:34:18He was fast.

00:34:20He was in the cover of Sports Associated for Kids when I was a kid.

00:34:22I don't know if that's corny.

00:34:24Rick Smits is next.

00:34:26Duncan Dutchman?

00:34:29What's corny about Rick Smits?

00:34:31You haven't said why any of them.

00:34:33He just says their name when you ask why.

00:34:35Vijay? Vijay.

00:34:37Michael Chang.

00:34:39It's just a giant 7'4 center.

00:34:41Not a super cool game.

00:34:43He did get dunked on a lot.

00:34:45He's the Duncan Dutchman.

00:34:47That's a cool nickname.

00:34:49Ward number 45?

00:34:51These were my options.

00:34:53These were your options.

00:34:55What's corny about any of them?

00:34:58I just never thought of them as cool athletes.

00:35:00You could be not cool,

00:35:02but not be corny.

00:35:04All of everything around them.

00:35:06Their personality?

00:35:08These were all 90s people.

00:35:10At the time, I always thought of them as lame.

00:35:12Did you hate Michael Chang when you were a kid?

00:35:14No, I liked Michael Chang.

00:35:16You just thought he was corny?

00:35:18Yeah.

00:35:20That's bizarre to me, to have a thing against Michael Chang.

00:35:22I really liked Michael Chang.

00:35:24He would scramble for a lot of...

00:35:27He's not a super cool guy.

00:35:29He's not wowing you with a bunch of aces.

00:35:31He's just paper cuts.

00:35:33I'll defend Che here.

00:35:35I remember Michael Chang.

00:35:37Andre Agassi was the cool guy.

00:35:39Chang was kind of not the cool guy.

00:35:41Yes, thank you.

00:35:43Klemmer picked Gary Carter.

00:35:45I don't know why.

00:35:47He wins a World Series and gets a brain tumor and dies.

00:35:49Not cool with Klemmer.

00:35:51There's more to his life than that.

00:35:53What's corny?

00:35:56His nickname was...

00:35:58He was the biggest...

00:36:00Anytime the media came in, they would get his picture.

00:36:02He always had a big smile.

00:36:04They would call him Tooth a lot.

00:36:06He had a big smile on his all the time.

00:36:08He was the corniest guy in 1980s baseball.

00:36:12Gary Carter was the guy.

00:36:14If you want this kind of lame quote.

00:36:16He was very religious.

00:36:18By all accounts, he was a nice guy.

00:36:20A lot of guys thought he was a fraud or a fake.

00:36:23He was always a very positive guy.

00:36:27A guy, especially in the 1986 Mets,

00:36:29stuck out like a sore thumb.

00:36:31Gary Carter was very corny.

00:36:33He wasn't doing coke.

00:36:35He wasn't being a scumbag.

00:36:37He didn't fit in with that group.

00:36:39Even at the Expos,

00:36:41he was still a guy...

00:36:43Anytime the media came in, he was the first guy to run to the press.

00:36:45He smiles too much.

00:36:47Tooth.

00:36:49Tooth is crazy.

00:36:51Bryson DeChambeau.

00:36:53I don't know enough about golf.

00:36:55I think he's changed me.

00:36:57You were against him and now you're for him?

00:36:59He was such a fucking loser.

00:37:01Now he's finally got...

00:37:03I think you can still call him corny,

00:37:05but I think he finally knows that he's a loser.

00:37:07Didn't he put out a bench press video?

00:37:09Yeah.

00:37:11He had a garage filled with his friends.

00:37:13They would just be in there working out all the time.

00:37:15Come check out my garage.

00:37:17It was one of the best videos.

00:37:19They were on weight machines.

00:37:21It was like Nautilus machines.

00:37:23He's like, we're going to pump in right now in the garage.

00:37:25On a Smith machine?

00:37:27I think he used to be super corny.

00:37:29Deep down inside, he wakes up every day

00:37:31and he has to fight those dudes.

00:37:33100%.

00:37:35The opposite of what he would do.

00:37:37He's got a chip that he carries around.

00:37:39I'm 12 months without being corny.

00:37:41Without posting cringe.

00:37:43Was he the one that got hit with the fence?

00:37:45Yeah.

00:37:47He had a weird putter.

00:37:49I don't know what kind of putter he's using right now,

00:37:51but he also put on a lot of weight

00:37:53to try to get really strong.

00:37:55He just bloated up.

00:37:57He got swollen.

00:37:59He lost 50 pounds recently.

00:38:01I'm with Marty.

00:38:03I kind of like Bryson in the mix.

00:38:05It's way cooler when he's in the mix.

00:38:07He's been doing a YouTube series that's relatively normal

00:38:09where you get to see his personality

00:38:11or at least what he wants to show of his personality.

00:38:13I think deep down inside,

00:38:15he fights that battle all the time.

00:38:17He's one bad weekend away

00:38:19from just snapping and going full corn.

00:38:21Jimmy Butler was mentioned a lot, too.

00:38:23He's so cool, dude.

00:38:25I agree. I think he's very cool.

00:38:27I'm just saying he was mentioned a ton.

00:38:29No, he's cool.

00:38:31He always kills his colleagues.

00:38:33He kills everybody.

00:38:35I think people, when he did that emo picture,

00:38:37people were like that.

00:38:39He does a funny headshot every time.

00:38:41I like the tradition of it.

00:38:43Dwight Howard was also mentioned.

00:38:45I think he's closer to the cat discussion.

00:38:47He's like cat. He's much like cat.

00:38:49He was cool at one point.

00:38:51Big snake guy.

00:38:53Liking snakes is not cool.

00:38:55Tim Tebow was also mentioned.

00:38:57Oh, yeah.

00:38:59No.

00:39:01He touched someone's heart

00:39:03and it came back to life.

00:39:05He was on a hot streak.

00:39:07He had a six-month span where I think he saved three people's lives

00:39:09by just touching them.

00:39:11That makes you curious.

00:39:13He should have been in Buffalo.

00:39:15I haven't had the opportunity to save one life.

00:39:17Don't want to.

00:39:19Why is everybody dying around Tebow?

00:39:21Would have been a better question.

00:39:23It's wild that him and Aaron Hernandez are on the same team.

00:39:25That is crazy.

00:39:27You have one guy taking on and one guy saving him.

00:39:29Or more guys that have died around Tim Tebow.

00:39:31Yeah, another person that has died.

00:39:33That's true.

00:39:35Kelsey Plum, that's mostly because of that recent thing

00:39:37with the popcorn and all that like you guys are talking about.

00:39:39I would agree.

00:39:41He might have to be on this.

00:39:43I'm throwing him on too.

00:39:45Darren Waller.

00:39:47Is he going to Beer Olympics?

00:39:49Darren Waller?

00:39:51I don't think so.

00:39:53I heard Max Crosby might attend.

00:39:55They've run out of people to drink.

00:39:57There's no one else that can drink.

00:39:59Darren Waller.

00:40:01They've run out of people who can drink in America.

00:40:03They're on to sober people.

00:40:05The jar at the door where you drop your AA chip.

00:40:07Yeah.

00:40:09And then lastly, Pat McAfee was mentioned a ton as well.

00:40:11Oh, that's a good one.

00:40:13Ebbs and flows.

00:40:15I do think that's a good one though.

00:40:17I need to add Grant Williams.

00:40:19Grant Williams.

00:40:21He gave himself the nickname Batman.

00:40:23Yeah, that's...

00:40:25You just can't give yourself...

00:40:27You can't call yourself Batman with Grant Williams.

00:40:29Giving yourself a nickname is corny.

00:40:31Exactly.

00:40:33Opie did it, right?

00:40:35Katie's nickname he gave himself.

00:40:37Oh, Durantula.

00:40:39Was he the Slim Reaper?

00:40:41The Servant.

00:40:43The Servant.

00:40:45What you just heard here

00:40:47was exactly what was going on in people's brains

00:40:49because Stephen Che just listed the cool nicknames

00:40:51that he had.

00:40:53The Durantula, the Slim Reaper.

00:40:55And he's like, no, I'm going to go with the Servant.

00:40:57The Servant is what he chose for himself.

00:40:59Che, what was it that...

00:41:01The Muscle Hamster, he hated the Muscle Hamster

00:41:03Doug Martin.

00:41:05The Dugganator.

00:41:07What is that a play on?

00:41:09The Terminator?

00:41:11Are you sure it wasn't Duggernaut?

00:41:13It might have been Duggernaut.

00:41:15The Dugganator.

00:41:17The Dugganator.

00:41:19I think he actually might be right.

00:41:21I think he might have been trying to call himself the Dugganator though.

00:41:23Oh, no.

00:41:25People would say...

00:41:2718 yards and counting.

00:41:29Katie's definitely a little corny.

00:41:31I almost like that he's...

00:41:33His Twitter now is funny to me.

00:41:35Oh, Katie is not corny.

00:41:37The one today where he's like, get to work or something.

00:41:39No, very funny.

00:41:41Yeah, I think he's funny.

00:41:43I'm almost positive it was...

00:41:45I can't believe hating the Muscle Hamster though.

00:41:47That was such a good nickname.

00:41:49Katie told a guy on Twitter earlier today to go to work.

00:41:51Get ready for work, buddy.

00:41:53Oh, that's awesome.

00:41:55And also, this is just me.

00:41:57I was at a place once.

00:41:59And 10 minutes the music changed

00:42:01to just rap.

00:42:03He smoked a blunt and left.

00:42:05It was the coolest thing I've ever seen.

00:42:07And no one can really do that.

00:42:09And he did it.

00:42:11He can't be corny after that.

00:42:13To run through the options again.

00:42:15Vijay Singh, Michael Chang, Rick Smits.

00:42:17I don't think any of those are going to get votes.

00:42:19I did just put Michael Chang...

00:42:21I'm sorry, he had a Sports Illustrated for Kids card.

00:42:23Not on the cover.

00:42:25I put that in the chat.

00:42:27This image is 2 pixels by 2 pixels.

00:42:29You could have gotten a better one.

00:42:31Not corny.

00:42:33He's not corny!

00:42:35Is that bad?

00:42:37Did I do something wrong?

00:42:39The picture is extremely small.

00:42:41I don't know. I found it online.

00:42:43Shane's a child.

00:42:45There's an Asian-American that's winning

00:42:47major tennis tournaments.

00:42:49And Shane's a little upset.

00:42:51And his parents are like, what's wrong?

00:42:53I wish he was a little bit cooler.

00:42:55Just hating.

00:42:59Clemmer summed it up.

00:43:01Agassi was the cool guy.

00:43:03Sampras was having a million aces a game.

00:43:05And Michael Chang won one major.

00:43:071989 French Open.

00:43:09He was just like...

00:43:11He would not have a lot of aces.

00:43:13The points would last forever.

00:43:15He wasn't a power guy.

00:43:17He was a tiny guy.

00:43:19You think his game was corny?

00:43:21I don't think that makes him corny.

00:43:23Damn it.

00:43:25He sympathized with Mark Wahlberg.

00:43:27Oh no!

00:43:29I didn't sympathize with him.

00:43:31He said that was just Boston in the 80s.

00:43:33Oh no!

00:43:35He blinded the Vietnamese guy?

00:43:37Yeah.

00:43:39Did you agree with his 9-11 take?

00:43:41I definitely don't know it.

00:43:43He said that if he was on board

00:43:45on the plane,

00:43:47he would have ended it right then and there.

00:43:49He would have defeated all the terrorists.

00:43:51I do not believe that.

00:43:53It would have gone down differently.

00:43:55Do you not believe him?

00:43:57Based on pretty much every movie

00:43:59I've seen with him in it,

00:44:01he's probably right.

00:44:03He's trained for it.

00:44:05This is like Planet of the Apes

00:44:07to Mark Wahlberg.

00:44:09He also would have been to the plane

00:44:11when Mark Wahlberg was stopping shit.

00:44:13James Woods tried to stop 9-11.

00:44:15How so?

00:44:17He was on one of the dry runs for 9-11.

00:44:19It was a cross-country flight.

00:44:21I think Mohammed Atta was on the plane.

00:44:23There were four hijackers.

00:44:25They were talking to each other.

00:44:27They were getting up, acting weird.

00:44:29They were just checking it out

00:44:31and casing the plane.

00:44:33The flight lands.

00:44:35James Woods calls the FBI.

00:44:37What?

00:44:39He told the FBI,

00:44:41these guys are hijackers.

00:44:43They're plotting something.

00:44:45Please look into it.

00:44:47James Woods did it.

00:44:49They didn't follow up.

00:44:51That's crazy.

00:44:53I think it was on one of the actual flights.

00:44:55It was just a different day.

00:44:57This should be talked about every day.

00:44:59That's insane.

00:45:01This is back when he was a big star.

00:45:03Casino had just come out a couple years earlier.

00:45:05He was a big name.

00:45:07You've seen Casino.

00:45:09He plays Lester Diamond.

00:45:11The shitty boyfriend.

00:45:13That's always in Family Guy.

00:45:15Yes, in Family Guy.

00:45:17No, James Woods didn't warn the FBI

00:45:19about some turmoil with attacks ahead of time.

00:45:21Fact check. That sucks.

00:45:23I'm going to choose to believe it's true.

00:45:25Let's cut that.

00:45:27If you were James Woods and then it happened,

00:45:29can you told you so there?

00:45:31No, I don't think so.

00:45:33You didn't tell him enough.

00:45:35Absolutely.

00:45:37You can totally do a told you so.

00:45:39You literally told him so.

00:45:41At what time? 10.30am?

00:45:43I think you have to start it out

00:45:45by saying,

00:45:47I don't want to say I told you so.

00:45:49I would never say that.

00:45:51I did call.

00:45:53Years later, you can do a told you so.

00:45:55Three years later.

00:45:57Gary Carter, Bryson DeChambeau,

00:45:59Jimmy Butler, Dwight Howard, Tim Tebow,

00:46:01Darren Waller, Pat McAfee, Grant Williams.

00:46:03Che, which one of those

00:46:05do you want to move forward?

00:46:09Grant Williams. Fuck that guy.

00:46:11One for Grant Williams and then nowhere.

00:46:13Let's go.

00:46:15I'm just looking up the James Woods thing.

00:46:17He did tell the co-pilot

00:46:19and the concerns got passed along to the FAA.

00:46:21And then on the evening of

00:46:23September 11th, he called the FBI.

00:46:25So he told him after the fact.

00:46:27He did tell the pilot though.

00:46:29I did that too.

00:46:31I don't know, that's pretty corny too

00:46:33to call after.

00:46:35We've got to put Jimmy Woods on there.

00:46:37I was going to tell you about this.

00:46:39Grant Williams also

00:46:41traded from both teams.

00:46:43In the finals right now.

00:46:45He also

00:46:47was a big Luka Doncic fan.

00:46:49Asked for his autographed jersey

00:46:51last year after they played, which I think is kind of weird.

00:46:53He's corny.

00:46:55And they share an agent.

00:46:57When you're also not good too

00:46:59and doing all this thing.

00:47:01He's the fake tough guy

00:47:03and he sucks.

00:47:05Dylan Brooks was corny

00:47:07for a while too.

00:47:09I think he's just a loser.

00:47:11It's weird to be like that.

00:47:13PFT?

00:47:15Yeah, I forgot what the question was.

00:47:17Between that grouping,

00:47:19which one do you want to be your 16th seed for this plane?

00:47:21They all stink, but

00:47:23I'm going to go with Bryson.

00:47:25Bryson is going to get one vote. Nick?

00:47:27Bryson is getting a second too because

00:47:29that fence barely

00:47:31grazed him.

00:47:33Raised by a wire.

00:47:35Like a rope ring?

00:47:37Twine?

00:47:39KB?

00:47:41I'm on his TikTok now and his latest post

00:47:43is a slideshow of

00:47:45pictures of him looking hot.

00:47:47So that's corny.

00:47:49He ran to that fence.

00:47:51I love how he hit it and then he stopped

00:47:53and he turned around and looked at the fence like

00:47:55what the fuck was I supposed to do in here?

00:47:57I'll go with Bryson.

00:47:59Three for Bryson. Marty?

00:48:01Grant Williams.

00:48:03Three for Bryson. Two for Grant Williams.

00:48:05I'm going to go with McAfee.

00:48:07I don't get it.

00:48:09The whole tank top and the whole thing.

00:48:11He was blaming ESPN when his ratings

00:48:13were low. It was very strange.

00:48:15He said it got leaked. It was all very weird.

00:48:17I don't get it.

00:48:19Either way, Bryson DeChambeau is going to move on and play

00:48:21our number one overall seed. I'm sure you guys

00:48:23can guess who it is. Russell Wilson.

00:48:25Mr. Unlimited.

00:48:27Broncos Country. Let's Ride.

00:48:29The Dangerous Subway ad.

00:48:31It's still hysterical to watch.

00:48:33Walking around pre-game doing the full prayer thing.

00:48:35All that stuff.

00:48:37Russell Wilson, runaway number one seed

00:48:39based on every submission to everyone had

00:48:41to say Russell Wilson at least once.

00:48:43Starting with you Klemmer. Russell Wilson vs. Bryson DeChambeau.

00:48:45Russell Wilson is not cool.

00:48:47He was the first name I thought of.

00:48:49This is going to be tough to beat.

00:48:51Russell Wilson.

00:48:53I want to preface this.

00:48:55I think we need these corny athletes.

00:48:57All of them.

00:48:59I think about Russell Wilson as one of the more fun things to do.

00:49:01If everyone was cool,

00:49:03it would be like, alright, we get it.

00:49:05We need these corny...

00:49:07Mr. Unlimited was one of the best clips

00:49:09of all time.

00:49:11He's changed me too.

00:49:13I like Russell Wilson now.

00:49:15No, it's definitely him.

00:49:17It's not even close.

00:49:19Two for Russell Wilson, KB.

00:49:21I appreciate him and his role,

00:49:23but it is him. He's a cornball's cornball.

00:49:25When you guys were younger,

00:49:27did you...

00:49:29Was everybody that thought Ciara was a guy?

00:49:31There was that rumor.

00:49:33That was a nationwide middle school rumor.

00:49:35Yeah, because I remember when I was a kid,

00:49:37I was like, oh my god, I didn't know that.

00:49:39It's like a Marilyn Manson type thing, right?

00:49:41Yeah, pretty fucked up rumor for a while.

00:49:43It's the opposite of true.

00:49:45She's stunning and he is wed to her

00:49:47and she chose him over...

00:49:492 Chainz.

00:49:51Future.

00:49:53Who people would say is a very non-corny guy.

00:49:55The coolest guy.

00:49:57So she chose him

00:49:59and he's raising his kid.

00:50:03I like Russell Wilson.

00:50:05I think he's funny.

00:50:07I think he's damn near self-aware.

00:50:09Is he?

00:50:11Is he self-aware?

00:50:13I don't know.

00:50:15I don't think he is yet.

00:50:17Nick, also, I asked Pat

00:50:19last week.

00:50:21He said he was the best guy.

00:50:23Off camera, I was like,

00:50:25give me the lowdown.

00:50:27He goes, I swear I would tell you,

00:50:29he's a great guy.

00:50:31Maybe he's just cool.

00:50:33Remember his nanobubbles?

00:50:35Yeah, the concussion water.

00:50:37Yeah, it had nanobubbles inside

00:50:39so it healed your brain from the inside out.

00:50:43But the thing is, I think he actually believed that.

00:50:45I think he might just be a little dumb.

00:50:47I think he absorbs everything that's told to him

00:50:49in PowerPoint.

00:50:51The Danger Witch, he didn't.

00:50:53He just got that and was like, I'll read this.

00:50:55Spicy.

00:50:57Spicy!

00:50:59You had The Danger Witch. How was it?

00:51:01It was spicy.

00:51:05Have you ever seen that commercial?

00:51:07Yes.

00:51:09I had the pleasure

00:51:11of running into Russell Wilson

00:51:13when I was in Las Vegas this year at the Super Bowl.

00:51:15I was tripping balls on mushrooms

00:51:17at the time.

00:51:19I was in Casino.

00:51:21It was Shaq's Funhouse Party.

00:51:23There were all these celebrities that were walking by.

00:51:25Every celebrity that walked by was like,

00:51:27you name it, Shaq was there.

00:51:29Pretty mainstream.

00:51:31Shaq, everybody.

00:51:33Shaq was at Shaq's Funhouse Party?

00:51:35He was at Stanford Steve.

00:51:37All the big celebs were out.

00:51:39They're walking by and then

00:51:41Russell Wilson walks in.

00:51:43He comes in with Ciara on his arm.

00:51:45They start walking down

00:51:47the hallway.

00:51:49I'm just staring at him.

00:51:51He's got this look on his face.

00:51:53He practices doing this model face.

00:51:55He looks angry and perturbed.

00:51:57He's walking with his shoulders to the side.

00:51:59He thought that everybody was taking pictures of him.

00:52:01He's like, come on, babe.

00:52:03He's walking through the casino

00:52:05and the only person that took a picture of him was me.

00:52:07I was just standing in the hallway

00:52:09laughing.

00:52:11It was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.

00:52:13I just took a picture.

00:52:15I was like, that was fucking awesome.

00:52:17I love Russell Wilson now, but he is very corny.

00:52:19He definitely rehearsed that.

00:52:21I'm going Bryson.

00:52:23Are you going to go Russell?

00:52:25I will go with Russell.

00:52:27I just recently watched the video

00:52:29of him when he was out

00:52:31with a finger injury.

00:52:33He was taking the simulated snaps.

00:52:35He was getting warmed up.

00:52:37He was actually in Pittsburgh when he was doing this.

00:52:39He wasn't starting, wasn't playing,

00:52:41but he's down on the field pregame

00:52:43and there's a little huddle around him.

00:52:45He's down on one knee talking to everybody in the huddle.

00:52:47He's like, okay, ready, break.

00:52:49Then he practiced slapping people's hands

00:52:51when he's running out onto the field.

00:52:53He's getting in full simulation mode.

00:52:55I think it's got to be Russell.

00:52:57Was Jim Hines on the plane?

00:52:59Yes, he's Hines on the plane.

00:53:01That was awesome too, though.

00:53:03You guys stay fresh.

00:53:05I would love to hang out with him.

00:53:07This is hilarious.

00:53:09Out of anybody on this list,

00:53:11I'd want to hang out with him the most.

00:53:13Entertainment watch, yeah.

00:53:15You're going to stick with Russ, PFT, Che?

00:53:17Yep.

00:53:19I'm not going to hate on the invisible huddle thing.

00:53:21I think that's awesome.

00:53:23I do that out on the court regularly.

00:53:25In college,

00:53:27my best friend lived in a suite

00:53:29with a couple other suite mates

00:53:31and one of the suite mates

00:53:33saw me and was like,

00:53:35to get to this class,

00:53:37you had to cross the practice football field.

00:53:39Oh no.

00:53:41He said that he saw me

00:53:43and I was running out routes

00:53:45basically toe dragging

00:53:47because we had just gotten a turf practice field

00:53:49so you could see the rubber

00:53:51go up when you drag your toe.

00:53:53He's like, he saw me.

00:53:55He just turned the other way.

00:53:57I was just doing that every 10 yards.

00:53:59Were you playing catch with a friend or were you solo?

00:54:01I was by myself.

00:54:03Was there a ball?

00:54:05No.

00:54:07No ball.

00:54:09You were really fast at the time.

00:54:11I was, yes.

00:54:13Were you going full speed?

00:54:15No, I had a backpack on probably.

00:54:19Imagine seeing it out of your window.

00:54:21No.

00:54:23No, I can't.

00:54:25I'm not going to hate on the invisible huddle

00:54:27or anything Russell Wilson does.

00:54:29That being said, I can admit that's corny.

00:54:31I feel like I'm self-aware enough

00:54:33to know that I'm not the coolest guy

00:54:35and I think Russell Wilson is too.

00:54:37He might think he's cool.

00:54:41He's a starting quarterback, Super Bowl champion,

00:54:43married to Sierra.

00:54:45He might be cool.

00:54:47Those are all cool things.

00:54:49Very, very cool things.

00:54:51A lot of people like Deion and other people

00:54:53we've said, Tim Tebow,

00:54:55if you're super religious and also preach that,

00:54:57that is seen as uncool. He is that.

00:55:01I remember when they lost the Super Bowl to the Patriots

00:55:03he said that when he was walking off the field

00:55:05he knew that that was just God testing him

00:55:07in that moment after that interception.

00:55:09That's so funny.

00:55:11I forgot and he cried too.

00:55:13There's a lot of stuff on here. He is a big docket.

00:55:15Either way, Russell Wilson is going to move on.

00:55:17Before we get to the second half, let's hear from Better Hope.

00:55:19The Bracket is sponsored by Better Help.

00:55:21When life goes fast, it's important to take a moment

00:55:23to celebrate your wins and make adjustments

00:55:25for the rest of the year.

00:55:27Therapy can help you take stock of your progress

00:55:29and set achievable goals for the next six months.

00:55:31During the course of COVID,

00:55:33when I wasn't able to go to my physical therapist,

00:55:35I actually go to my therapist's office.

00:55:37It was awesome. I love the experience.

00:55:39I kept doing that way instead.

00:55:41Instead of having to take time out of your day

00:55:43and go to that place, you can take time

00:55:45wherever you are.

00:55:47If you're thinking of starting therapy,

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00:56:05Now we have the 6th seed

00:56:07versus the 11th seed.

00:56:09The 6th seed is a PFT special.

00:56:11JJ Watt from 2012 to 2017.

00:56:13Very specifically.

00:56:15He put up some numbers.

00:56:17Big numbers.

00:56:19That might have been the best five-year span

00:56:21in terms of cornyness of anybody on this list.

00:56:23He thought he was Captain America.

00:56:25He actually did.

00:56:27Every single time he would talk,

00:56:29kids across America would be tuning in.

00:56:31Every conversation he had

00:56:33was like he was talking to a group of youngsters

00:56:35at the United Way.

00:56:37He was giving up plane seats

00:56:39to any veteran that would be passing by,

00:56:41but he would always make sure that there was

00:56:43a football reporter that would find him

00:56:45right afterwards.

00:56:47He was great.

00:56:49He was at the top of his game at the time.

00:56:51Then he became self-aware.

00:56:53I think he's actually cool now. He's a cool guy.

00:56:55He had, remember the name,

00:56:57singing Fort Minor on Hard Knocks.

00:56:59He had the post,

00:57:01a lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of sheep.

00:57:03Time to attack the day.

00:57:05That was a tweet that he had.

00:57:07He invented that saying.

00:57:09They also had, which I don't know if you can necessarily put it on him,

00:57:11the starter jackets when they got

00:57:13destroyed by the Patriots.

00:57:15Those were varsity jackets.

00:57:17That was Aaron Foster's idea.

00:57:19He made those, gave them out to the team.

00:57:21You're going to be so mad.

00:57:23I wasn't actually him.

00:57:25I would like that to be out in the universe.

00:57:27He fucking hated them.

00:57:31Remember the name.

00:57:33That was introducing his corniness to the world.

00:57:35He sang Fort Minors.

00:57:37Remember the name? In what context?

00:57:39At the beginning of Hard Knocks,

00:57:41he was training.

00:57:43You're almost forgetting a part where they made a point to tell everyone

00:57:45that he's training after hours.

00:57:47He's like, yeah, no, everyone's already went home.

00:57:49He's training after to flip tires.

00:57:51He's flipping those giant tires, singing,

00:57:53remember the name, rapping with a backwards hat on.

00:57:55He's like the Ohio State of the NFL.

00:57:57Rapping Fort Minor?

00:57:59No, but saying I'm at work where nobody else is.

00:58:01I guess so.

00:58:03He was doing the full tire flip thing

00:58:05and making sure everyone was home,

00:58:07except for him.

00:58:09He was on a real tear right then.

00:58:11He also invented the saying,

00:58:13success isn't earned, it's leased,

00:58:15and rent is due every day.

00:58:17Success isn't owned, it's leased,

00:58:19and rent is due every day.

00:58:21That's way too long

00:58:23to be a motivational saying.

00:58:25I have to do math when it comes to that.

00:58:27So J.J. Watts

00:58:29going up against the number 11 seed.

00:58:31This is another one where I think he's definitely been helped

00:58:33by his recent roast, which is Tom Brady.

00:58:35I think he's been helped a little bit.

00:58:37It got worse.

00:58:39Because he said, I'll never do it again.

00:58:41My family's damned back away from it.

00:58:43It got worse after.

00:58:45True, that's a good point.

00:58:47He's the corniest guy in the entire world.

00:58:49Tom Brady?

00:58:51If he had two Super Bowls, he'd be Eli Manning.

00:58:55No, Eli Manning is cooler than Tom Brady.

00:58:57Eli Manning is cooler than Tom Brady.

00:58:59Yeah, he's pretty corny though.

00:59:01Yeah, but I feel like, I don't know,

00:59:03Eli owns it better, but Tom Brady always feels like

00:59:05there's always something oddly fake about him.

00:59:07His entire face.

00:59:09Yeah, I know.

00:59:11Just the way he presents himself.

00:59:13I think he's like, it's never real.

00:59:15And it is always on this

00:59:17air on the side of corniness with him.

00:59:19Yeah.

00:59:21That's why the roast was so weird.

00:59:23Yeah.

00:59:25So, Tom Brady versus J.J. Watt.

00:59:27Let's start with you, Che.

00:59:31Tom Brady, like, he is

00:59:33a rare air.

00:59:35Like, if you got

00:59:37a quote tweet,

00:59:39or if he like...

00:59:41Are you saying it's because it happened to you?

00:59:43Yes.

00:59:45I don't know if you got a quote tweet

00:59:47from him.

00:59:49So relatable.

00:59:51I'm trying to think of any type of real interaction.

00:59:53That was also Kevin Bonner.

00:59:55That was Kevin Bonner.

00:59:57Beyond belief.

00:59:59You could still be corny in that position.

01:00:01We just said Travis Kelce, same thing.

01:00:03Che just wanted to remind people that he got

01:00:05quote tweeted by Tom Brady.

01:00:07Tom Brady has that air where like, I don't know if he fucking

01:00:09quotes you.

01:00:11Just pulling stuff out of thin air here.

01:00:13Like, if you were a...

01:00:15Like, brought in for a day at

01:00:17Buck's training camp,

01:00:19you'd have to catch a bathroom or something.

01:00:21Tom Brady is like next level.

01:00:23He's the...

01:00:25I don't want to say living, breathing Michael Jordan, because Michael Jordan

01:00:27still looks like...

01:00:29I think he'd be number two on that list

01:00:31of the living, breathing Michael Jordan.

01:00:33Tom Brady is the living, breathing Michael Jordan.

01:00:35This might be the worst argument. He got even more

01:00:37corny after you just talked.

01:00:39That proves how corny Tom Brady is.

01:00:41Because he's not Michael Jordan.

01:00:43All of his teammates are like,

01:00:45you know, this guy is the coolest.

01:00:47Everybody...

01:00:49I don't think they say he's cool.

01:00:51Even at his roast, they all roasted him after

01:00:53because he didn't go to his own after party

01:00:55to drink with everybody.

01:00:57That's what they'll say. He's a great teammate.

01:00:59But I don't think they're saying he's cool.

01:01:03Agree to disagree.

01:01:05J.J. Watt in that five year period

01:01:07was very good.

01:01:09Che, are you excited to hear Tom Brady on Fox?

01:01:11Do you think he's going to be a good...

01:01:13I think Tom Brady in the brief

01:01:15periods that I've heard him be witty

01:01:17and funny, I think he is very witty.

01:01:19He won a Super Bowl for his team.

01:01:21What the fuck?

01:01:23We're talking about a guy who lives and breathes by a team

01:01:25and he won him a Super Bowl.

01:01:27The briefest moments where you just get a glimpse of him being funny.

01:01:29He's funny.

01:01:31In the moments where he's been funny, he's been funny.

01:01:33But they're very brief.

01:01:35Jesus Christ.

01:01:37Not a lot of that's out there.

01:01:39Che endorsing Tom Brady, that skyrockets him up.

01:01:43I didn't think he was that corny

01:01:45until Che started to tell me that he wasn't.

01:01:47The man. Living legend.

01:01:49J.J. Watt.

01:01:51PFT?

01:01:53We're losing sight of how corny he was

01:01:55in that five year span.

01:01:57But I think he would have won this bracket

01:01:59if this vote took place

01:02:01in 2016.

01:02:03So I'm going to go with J.J. Watt.

01:02:05Two for J.J. Watt. Nick?

01:02:07I like Tom Brady too.

01:02:09I think he's just in an era where

01:02:11it's beyond corny or cool.

01:02:13He exists.

01:02:15I'm going to go J.J. Watt.

01:02:17Three for J.J. Watt.

01:02:19Him saying success isn't owned

01:02:21at least. He was born into a

01:02:236'8 monster body.

01:02:25Yeah, that helped.

01:02:27He does own it.

01:02:29He does own his body.

01:02:31He could have just stopped working out and probably

01:02:33been a pretty good NFL player.

01:02:35KB?

01:02:37Tom Brady, he isn't cool

01:02:39to me, but he's almost more uncanny

01:02:41and eerie.

01:02:43That's a great point.

01:02:45He's so disconnected from

01:02:47normal humans that he doesn't

01:02:49know how to behave.

01:02:51Watt is the epitome of corny.

01:02:53That era

01:02:55of the early to mid

01:02:572010s was just a corny

01:02:59era though. But did he ever

01:03:01try to dress cool or anything like that?

01:03:03Yeah, he would try to wear

01:03:05shirts that were super tight.

01:03:07Small size shirts.

01:03:09He's like the Captain America, the savior.

01:03:11Yeah, he did. He dabbled in wearing

01:03:13tight jeans too, skinny jeans.

01:03:15He was trying to show off a little bit.

01:03:17He had a goofy haircut pretty recently, right?

01:03:19J.J. Watt that he got roasted for?

01:03:21Yeah, but he owned that.

01:03:23He was like, look how bad my haircut is.

01:03:25That was your doing.

01:03:27You single-handedly made him...

01:03:29You fixed him. Rewired

01:03:31his brain. That's what we're very good at.

01:03:33It's just like taking somebody and we're like,

01:03:35this man is a perfect physical specimen.

01:03:37He's a

01:03:39millionaire hundreds of times over.

01:03:41He spends all day, every day trying to set a

01:03:43good example for kids. Fuck that guy.

01:03:45We're going to bring him down

01:03:47to my level. Now, mentally

01:03:49he looks in the mirror, he sees PFT

01:03:51every day.

01:03:53We basically just

01:03:55ruined his self-esteem.

01:03:57Which I feel really good about.

01:03:59You were talking about

01:04:01Tom as almost

01:04:03not human. He's just

01:04:05Tom Brady. Do you guys feel

01:04:07the same way about Giselle?

01:04:09I don't know enough about her.

01:04:11I don't know that I'm attracted to Giselle

01:04:13in a classical sense.

01:04:15She's too

01:04:17uncanny. She would walk into a room

01:04:19and my brain would recognize her as

01:04:21she is in theory

01:04:23a beautiful woman.

01:04:25I would never jack off to her.

01:04:27Like a wonder of the world.

01:04:29It would be disrespectful to jack off to her.

01:04:31I got to meet Olivia Wilde once

01:04:33and she was so beautiful and so

01:04:35stunning.

01:04:37Almost like you weren't attracted.

01:04:39She was like a work of art.

01:04:41Where did you meet Olivia Wilde? At a UCB thing.

01:04:43She's in your improv group?

01:04:45Olivia Cockburn. No, she's not in my improv group

01:04:47but she performed at UCB and I went to

01:04:49it was like an after show.

01:04:51She was with Sudeikis and they did a thing together.

01:04:53So I agree

01:04:55with the eerie thing though by the way. Every time I see Tom Brady

01:04:57I feel like his head gets pushed in a little

01:04:59bit more and it comes up a little

01:05:01bit more. You know what I mean?

01:05:03It's a very odd face. Marty?

01:05:05Tom Brady.

01:05:07First vote for Brady?

01:05:09100%. Even like we just said, he did a roast

01:05:11to be cool by all the cool people

01:05:13and then he

01:05:15scurried after being like

01:05:17ruined my family. I didn't know they were going to

01:05:19make fun of my divorce. It's like what do you mean?

01:05:21It's like the one thing that they were all

01:05:23going for.

01:05:25I don't know if it's because I lived in New England for a while

01:05:27but Tom Brady is the clear answer here.

01:05:29He did a radio show with Jim Gray

01:05:31and they referred

01:05:33Jay Glazer as Mr. Scoopage

01:05:35and like

01:05:37Kirk

01:05:39plays that clip all the time but like it's just like

01:05:41Tom Brady is a

01:05:43TV 12. He sold blankets

01:05:45That's supposed to make you like

01:05:47Wait you bought his blanket?

01:05:49Didn't buy the blanket. The pajamas?

01:05:51Wait didn't they sell like a cancer

01:05:53cure or something? Yeah he sold snake oil

01:05:55with Guerrero. Oh no.

01:05:57He was too. That's bullshit.

01:05:59Alex Guerrero

01:06:01they went to like

01:06:03from what I hear they went to like

01:06:05some type of hospital thing and

01:06:07Alex Guerrero was telling patients like you just

01:06:09need to drink a lot more water or something

01:06:11like that. But I don't think it was like

01:06:13this is a cure for cancer. They sold pajamas

01:06:15saying it would make you like better

01:06:17healthier. Yeah they're good.

01:06:19You wear another man's pajamas.

01:06:21That's insane. They sent it to me yeah.

01:06:23I think we're all

01:06:25Tom Brady is such a big... Do you wear them?

01:06:27Not all the time but I have one of them.

01:06:29Not all the time. I wore the pants last night.

01:06:31Did they work?

01:06:33I got a pretty good night's sleep so

01:06:35you tell me.

01:06:37In fact you wore those last night

01:06:39to a racing. Tom Brady's

01:06:41become such a huge part of our lives that we forget

01:06:43how fucking weird and insane and

01:06:45corny he is. Tom Brady is... My thing is

01:06:47I only have known him since he's been this

01:06:49superstar on this gigantic pedestal.

01:06:51What was he like like say in college?

01:06:53I don't know college. I can tell you what it was like when he

01:06:55entered the NFL and he seemed like a normal

01:06:57guy. That was kind of the

01:06:59appeal of him. Like the first couple

01:07:01years of the Patriots when he was winning the Super Bowl it was like he seemed like

01:07:03a normal guy and then he

01:07:05dated Tara Reid from American Pie.

01:07:07That's cool. It was like oh this guy

01:07:09is like I can even kind of get it and then

01:07:11he became like this really weird

01:07:13odd guy that said he was basically

01:07:15selling snake oil at Alice Groat. Very strange.

01:07:17Holden is really weird.

01:07:19So J.J. Watt is going to move on.

01:07:21Now we have the 3 vs the 14 seed.

01:07:2314 seed is one of Tom Brady's teammates.

01:07:25Gronkowski who you guys had mentioned earlier

01:07:27as being a corny guy. Going up

01:07:29against number 3 seed, Steph Curry

01:07:31who I think is a very corny

01:07:33guy which is weird considering like

01:07:35if you consider how big of an impact

01:07:37Curry had on the way people digest

01:07:39basketball and like kids going from yelling

01:07:41like oh Kobe to like yelling Curry and shit like

01:07:43he influenced the game so much and

01:07:45is so uncool. It's

01:07:47crazy. So Curry vs.

01:07:49Gronk starting with you Clemmer.

01:07:51Oh boy this is a battle of titans here.

01:07:53Gronk is stupid. Does that make him corny?

01:07:55I don't know but he does a lot of things

01:07:57that I think are corny. You don't think he

01:07:59plays into the stupid? I think he does.

01:08:01I think it's become that right? He's become a

01:08:03character which that means

01:08:05you're extra corny right? But

01:08:07sometimes like you can't

01:08:09if you're stupid once you can't get out of it.

01:08:11But like Nick was saying he reads into it though.

01:08:13It's like you know

01:08:15if you're dumb for one year you're dumb

01:08:17for your life so.

01:08:21Yeah but like if somebody's trying to

01:08:23convince me to eat Oreos in the shower

01:08:25I'm not going to let them remove a cisco.

01:08:27All I get is text on the side

01:08:29tried an Oreo in the shower was

01:08:31fucking unbelievable.

01:08:33Oh my gosh.

01:08:35I didn't text you I did it like three weeks ago.

01:08:37And I was like this is perfect

01:08:39it moistens it to make it soft but you

01:08:41can't taste the water on it.

01:08:43Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I hate this.

01:08:45I remember Tommy did it

01:08:47he literally called me and said you're a fucking

01:08:49piece of shit it's really good. But you don't need to do

01:08:51it in the shower. No you have

01:08:53the whole thing is you have an Oreo

01:08:55before the shower one in it

01:08:57and one after because the after one's all

01:08:59smoky. Fair enough.

01:09:01My smoked

01:09:03Oreos in the shower.

01:09:05So if you take a shower and you think the smoke goes off?

01:09:07Maybe.

01:09:09But Curry or Gronk lemme.

01:09:11I'm going to err on the side of

01:09:13Gronk's basically like borderline

01:09:15disabled and I'm going to just say Curry

01:09:17I guess because he is so corny

01:09:19but if like Nick is saying this

01:09:21really is an act then I guess I've really

01:09:23kind of been befuddled here and I'm probably

01:09:25saying the wrong answer. So one for Curry. Marty?

01:09:27This week

01:09:29I sealed it for Curry when he was playing

01:09:31in like a pickup game and he did the

01:09:33sleep thing and I was like alright

01:09:35these poor guys fucking worked

01:09:37at Subway all day and just got

01:09:39slept by Steph Curry

01:09:41He's corny.

01:09:43Super corny. Two for Curry. KB?

01:09:49I don't know if Gronk is corny

01:09:51I think that was brought on by

01:09:53the audience like he's leaned into that

01:09:55character and it might be tired

01:09:57but um

01:09:59it

01:10:01I thought Steph Curry was cool. Is he corny?

01:10:03I think he's very cool.

01:10:05Well he's good at sports. Do you think anyone that's

01:10:07great at sports is cool? I've seen footage of him

01:10:09looking swaggy. Watching him play

01:10:11himself I think

01:10:13like when he's playing he's like

01:10:15That's like one of the greatest basketball players in the world.

01:10:17Remember his shoes?

01:10:19He had bad shoes. Bad.

01:10:21Well I think Under Armour is inherently

01:10:23corny. Yes.

01:10:25Under Armour. Yeah.

01:10:27They looked like cafeteria worker shoes.

01:10:29That's tough.

01:10:31They were tough. So you're gonna stick with

01:10:33KB? I'll go

01:10:35Gronk. You go with Gronk.

01:10:37One for Gronk. Nick?

01:10:39Yeah I think he leans into the dumb

01:10:43and that only has like

01:10:45he's still

01:10:47going with it. There's no way

01:10:49how old is he? He's gonna be

01:10:5130. Wait 30s? I'd say like

01:10:5336-37. He's the same age as Kelsey right?

01:10:55He's the same age as Kelsey.

01:10:57You gotta lay off. You can't do that forever.

01:10:59You're just a big boy.

01:11:01Has it ever not been tired?

01:11:03Like 69

01:11:05has it ever not been tired?

01:11:07Yeah 69 is exhausted.

01:11:09That's the one. That's the

01:11:11corniest thing he's like when he just laughs

01:11:13at that every time. That is corny.

01:11:15I do think that if you're especially

01:11:17comparing to Kelsey. Kelsey tries so much harder

01:11:19than I think Gronk tries.

01:11:21I don't know. You guys are crazy.

01:11:23I don't know. I think having to laugh at 69

01:11:25every time it's said is

01:11:27But again it comes down to like is he disabled?

01:11:29It's not real. Do you get it?

01:11:31I do.

01:11:33It's just a number. No you don't get it.

01:11:35Oh fuck. You don't understand.

01:11:37You just think it's a funny number. It's just a number.

01:11:39No it's the sex number. It's the sex number.

01:11:41He did say he was gonna

01:11:43stop laughing at 69 though. Oh really?

01:11:45Like in a press release?

01:11:47That's big of him. He's like Mike Piazza

01:11:49doing the press conference to announce

01:11:51that he's straight. I'm not gay.

01:11:5369 is no longer funny.

01:11:55I know he did say 69 is

01:11:57played out. So that proves he's corny

01:11:59then. Because that proves he is aware

01:12:01that he's not disabled. Didn't you guys have trouble

01:12:03breaking away from 69? I think you had a big

01:12:05check here that you were giving. They put a 69 on it.

01:12:07You made them tape over it or something.

01:12:09Yeah we were like that's not funny. Yeah. Stop doing that.

01:12:11Like I made 69 jokes for

01:12:13like 2014 to

01:12:152016 I think. Which is probably still

01:12:17too long.

01:12:19Safe bet.

01:12:21And then everything that we did

01:12:23like if they give us a customized jersey

01:12:25sometime it'll be like PFT69.

01:12:27Right on the back. Now that's not funny but what was

01:12:29funny was there was like a celebrity

01:12:31or charity baseball

01:12:33game and

01:12:35this was like two days ago and they had this

01:12:37old lady. She was like probably 90

01:12:39and she like swung the

01:12:41bat at the t-ball thing. Hit it and then

01:12:43she got escorted down the first baseline

01:12:45and they gave this old lady the number 69.

01:12:47That's hilarious. That's funny.

01:12:49Didn't they also throw her

01:12:51out at first? Yeah.

01:12:53They waited till she got all the way down there. Do you think Joe

01:12:55Biden knows like about 69?

01:12:57Oh yeah. I think Hunter does.

01:12:59Hunter definitely does.

01:13:01Biden might be

01:13:03a little corny falling down all the time.

01:13:05How many presidents do you think

01:13:07of 69? All of them.

01:13:09No. George Washington 69?

01:13:11I don't think so.

01:13:13People have been having sex forever.

01:13:15You're not 69. You're not 69.

01:13:17You're not 69. He was a wooden teeth Clemmer.

01:13:19He always had wooden teeth. I would say the first president

01:13:21to 69 was Gerald Ford.

01:13:23Clemmer might be right.

01:13:25You've always been fucking guys.

01:13:27Everyone is the first generation

01:13:29to invent sex jokes.

01:13:31It was invented in the 60s. I think it was just

01:13:33like a primitive, almost

01:13:35instinct. Who got stuck in the tub?

01:13:37Both get sucked? Taft.

01:13:39Taft either. He wasn't 69.

01:13:41Abraham Lincoln could not 69.

01:13:43Mary Todd? She was too weak.

01:13:45It doesn't line up.

01:13:47You think these super rich, powerful

01:13:49dudes were thinking, I need to go down

01:13:51on a woman?

01:13:53You are out of your mind.

01:13:55These super rich, powerful guys

01:13:57were fucking ending that walk. Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson.

01:13:59Those guys were running around.

01:14:01People have been fucking forever, guys.

01:14:03No one's debating they were fucking.

01:14:05Every sex joke we think of that we think is so creative

01:14:07and witty and wild has been said thousands

01:14:09of years ago. No one's debating they were fucking.

01:14:11I don't think they were ever going down on a woman.

01:14:13There's nobody talking about pegging, dude, in the

01:14:151800s. The legs or something.

01:14:17Don't be

01:14:19surprised. If you go back and even look at

01:14:21the very first movie

01:14:23ever made was a porn.

01:14:25The very first thing I shot.

01:14:27People have been

01:14:29having sex and sex jokes forever.

01:14:31I don't think every president has

01:14:3369ed. There's presidents that you think

01:14:35with that phlebitis body like Nixon

01:14:37was getting 69.

01:14:39Nixon was 69.

01:14:41Nixon? Have you read the transcripts?

01:14:43Have you read the transcripts?

01:14:45Lyndon B. Johnson, 69. Go read the transcripts.

01:14:47Ronald Reagan might

01:14:49not have ever 69ed because

01:14:51Nancy wrapped her lips around that thing.

01:14:53He didn't get his lips on the

01:14:55paper.

01:14:57I'm done again.

01:14:59Great job, Nance.

01:15:01You didn't want to distract her.

01:15:03Do you think Trump's ever gone down on a woman?

01:15:05Ooh.

01:15:07Yes. I think he was high, though.

01:15:09Yeah, he was high.

01:15:11FDR.

01:15:13Reagan from Nancy, she had some coming out of her

01:15:15corner of her mouth. He was like,

01:15:17trickle down.

01:15:19Trickle down.

01:15:21Slobonomics.

01:15:23Trickle down slobonomics, yeah.

01:15:25PFT.

01:15:27Curry or Gronk? It's not to get too distracted.

01:15:29This is what we were talking about.

01:15:31I'm going to go Curry.

01:15:33Mostly the shoes, the mouthpiece.

01:15:35Yeah, just the vibe.

01:15:37I don't think he's that corny.

01:15:39I think we have cornier players in the NBA.

01:15:41I'll have an advance over Gronk.

01:15:43Don't he and Aisha accidentally

01:15:45have tattoos of the symbol of polyamory?

01:15:47Do they?

01:15:49I think they accidentally got the

01:15:51polyamorous tattoo.

01:15:53Having a hot mom, is that corny?

01:15:55Yes, for sure.

01:15:57Che?

01:15:59I think both these athletes are

01:16:01almost peak cool.

01:16:03Gronk is dating Camille Kostek.

01:16:05That's super cool.

01:16:07Also, the greatest setter in Never Live.

01:16:09Blocks will

01:16:11kick guys out of the club as far as

01:16:13blocking, run them over.

01:16:15Catches touchdowns, his spike, very cool.

01:16:17So there's that.

01:16:19And then Steph Curry,

01:16:21changing game has killer handles.

01:16:23You always resort to their playing style.

01:16:25Yes.

01:16:27I don't think Che gets the bracket.

01:16:29I don't think that

01:16:31Steph Curry doing the sleep thing

01:16:33in LA Fitness, I don't think that's

01:16:35corny at all.

01:16:37Those people are going to be stoked

01:16:39they played with Steph Curry and that he did that.

01:16:41I don't think that's corny at all.

01:16:43He showed up at the Barcelona Classic.

01:16:45I think that's very cool to go to a

01:16:47cool golf tournament that's in your area.

01:16:49I think these guys are both peak cool.

01:16:51I'm actually going to abstain.

01:16:53That means that Steph Curry is going to move on.

01:16:55You essentially voted for Steph by abstaining.

01:16:57Yep.

01:16:597th seed versus

01:17:0110th seed. 7th seed is Jason Tatum

01:17:03who's voted for a ton.

01:17:05I'll throw a couple

01:17:07things into the chat. Last year

01:17:09the Kobe thing, texting

01:17:11Kobe was bad.

01:17:13But I do appreciate him doing it because the

01:17:15memes coming back when Kobe texts back

01:17:17is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

01:17:19The Kobe text

01:17:21was rough last year.

01:17:23The Kobe practice shirt from this year, I don't think that was

01:17:25I don't know if that was intentional. I don't think that was intentional.

01:17:27Have you guys ever seen his

01:17:29tattoo? Yeah.

01:17:31Very corny. No. He has a tattoo

01:17:33that says life and grafted

01:17:35over the letters is his

01:17:37favorite movies, which is just a picture

01:17:39of Will Smith from Hitch

01:17:41when his face got blown up by the

01:17:43bumblebee. I gotta see that.

01:17:45Wait a minute.

01:17:47It's awesome.

01:17:49I think it's like John Q

01:17:51Hitch

01:17:53said the Incredibles.

01:17:55It's Jack Jack from the Incredibles.

01:17:57White men can't jump Wesley Snipes.

01:17:59Jack Jack from the Incredibles.

01:18:01That's a tattoo

01:18:03on the leg of a professional athlete in the finals

01:18:05right now. It's considered one of the best players in basketball. It's very corny.

01:18:07And he's going up against

01:18:09the number 10 seed. Not one that I

01:18:11would necessarily think is being a super

01:18:13corny guy, but Caleb Williams. I think he's maybe a little

01:18:15lame. A lot of people did mention him, though.

01:18:17The fingernails thing, which whatever.

01:18:19The one thing I think was kind of lame, he

01:18:21texted his punter after he got signed, the punter of the Bears

01:18:23and goes, hey, you're not going to have to punt too much

01:18:25here now that I'm in town.

01:18:27He recently...

01:18:29I like that.

01:18:31He actually said that?

01:18:33I can't wait to bet first drive

01:18:35just three now. He's punting right

01:18:37away and tweeting that every time.

01:18:39What was the thing he sent his biggest hater?

01:18:41Yesterday, his biggest hater

01:18:43on TikTok would always be like, I just don't like

01:18:45Caleb Williams. And he did

01:18:47the classic, oh,

01:18:49thanks, buddy. Here's two tickets to the first game.

01:18:51Or something like that.

01:18:53I think that's cool. But I think that's getting to you.

01:18:55That means that guy is getting

01:18:57to you. So if you just ignore him, it's like

01:18:59whatever. I think it's corny to...

01:19:01I think it's corny if you answer any of the haters

01:19:03unless it's a really funny... Like KD

01:19:05today, that's funny.

01:19:07I also found out, by the way, before I move

01:19:09on to Jason Tatum, he has a YouTube

01:19:11page from 2011 or

01:19:13whenever he was in late high school. It's like

01:19:15How to Tie a Tie. It's a video of him

01:19:17tying a tie. I think it's kind of funny.

01:19:19I think it's awesome. Does he have a kid?

01:19:21I don't know. He does.

01:19:23I didn't know his name was Deuce.

01:19:25Deuce Tatum?

01:19:27He's in the locker room. I was going to say

01:19:29you said you were Curry too, right?

01:19:31He's a prop a lot.

01:19:33So Jason Tatum versus Caleb Williams. We'll start

01:19:35with you, Chae.

01:19:37It's got to be Tatum.

01:19:39Caleb Williams, there was the bit in college

01:19:41but then does he transition

01:19:43to a different guy? I think if you're a Bears

01:19:45fan, especially, you see that

01:19:47him texting the punter, I think that's

01:19:49really like, oh shit, this guy's going to be awesome.

01:19:51We haven't seen. If he ends up being

01:19:53terrible, then I think maybe

01:19:55he could end up winning this thing, but as of right

01:19:57now, it's unproven, so I'm going to go with

01:19:59Tatum. He sucks, dude.

01:20:01He sucks?

01:20:03This has been a tough Finals for him, Clemmer.

01:20:05He's obviously a very good player.

01:20:07He's been horrific.

01:20:09I wonder how he'll get over it.

01:20:11He's a good player, but he sucks. I get that.

01:20:13There's a lot of players out there

01:20:15that are good, but also they fucking stink.

01:20:17That would be a good bracket, just like the best-worst players.

01:20:19Yeah, that's a good one.

01:20:21PFT?

01:20:23I'm going to go with Tatum, just the tattoos.

01:20:25The tattoos are tough.

01:20:27All the tattoos. The life tattoo.

01:20:29I don't know what the one across his back says, but it's too

01:20:31big. It pokes out to the side.

01:20:33It's a big Jesus thing, I think.

01:20:35Or something like that. So he has Jesus

01:20:37on the cross, tattooed on his back?

01:20:39I think so, yeah.

01:20:41He's carrying Jesus while Jesus is carrying the cross.

01:20:43Ooh, didn't even think about that.

01:20:45How many footprints in the sand

01:20:47are there?

01:20:49Four feet?

01:20:51It's Jesus on the cross, and then

01:20:53I guess his street sign?

01:20:55And then a quote

01:20:57God's will is what it says across it.

01:20:59In the biggest of letters.

01:21:01Does he have the basketball with the praying hands next to it?

01:21:03That was always my favorite tattoo.

01:21:05Not that I can see.

01:21:07This guy loves basketball.

01:21:09He must have a giant, across his kidney,

01:21:11a massive Air Jordan.

01:21:13Put across his kidney.

01:21:15You guys are all dogging Tatum here.

01:21:17No one's mentioned Caleb Williams' most embarrassing

01:21:19corny moment when he cried in his mother's arms

01:21:21after a loss, hyperventilating.

01:21:23You're good, you're tough.

01:21:25I'm just saying, we're dragging...

01:21:27I mean, that's number one here.

01:21:29What are we doing here?

01:21:31Is that corny, though? I think so.

01:21:33Being a mama's boy?

01:21:35He could have done that...

01:21:37You can do that in a tunnel.

01:21:39You don't need to do it in the stands.

01:21:41That is corny.

01:21:43I think you're mixing up corny and just

01:21:45something you don't like.

01:21:47No, I don't think so.

01:21:49I think it was lame.

01:21:51Maybe it's more lame than corny, but it's certainly

01:21:53in that same tree.

01:21:55Nick, Tatum, or Caleb Williams?

01:21:57Tatum, just from the Kobe tweet.

01:21:59It's one thing to text a dead man.

01:22:01It's the other to screenshot that and post it.

01:22:03Oh, that's what he did?

01:22:05That's so bad, dude.

01:22:07Off that alone, I'll go with...

01:22:09That might propel him to number one in my eyes.

01:22:11Yep.

01:22:13That's so bad.

01:22:15That is the worst thing you can ever...

01:22:17That's so bad.

01:22:19Again, thank you for the memes.

01:22:21What we were talking about...

01:22:23I love Jason Tatum.

01:22:25I loved him on Duke.

01:22:27He just has no aura.

01:22:29He's got no aura being a superstar.

01:22:31Yes, he's one of the best basketball players,

01:22:33in a lot of words.

01:22:35He's cool.

01:22:37Has aura.

01:22:39Tatum, they're saying he's not even the best

01:22:41on the team anymore.

01:22:43He gets shit on every game.

01:22:45It was a triple-double last game.

01:22:47Everyone's saying he's horrible.

01:22:49People are stupid.

01:22:51No, it is his fault. He's got no aura.

01:22:53Greg Maddox doesn't have an aura.

01:22:55He's still awesome.

01:22:57You always just throw someone back in baseball.

01:22:59That's not that back.

01:23:01I'd say Greg Maddox had an aura.

01:23:03He was a little scary, I'd say.

01:23:05I think less than Pedro

01:23:07or Roger Clemens, though.

01:23:09He was like a flamethrower.

01:23:11Pedro wasn't.

01:23:13If the Celtics win the finals

01:23:15and Tatum doesn't win MVP,

01:23:17does that make him even more corny?

01:23:19No.

01:23:21That's how they do on the court for you.

01:23:23He has this giant media expectation.

01:23:25He's the guy.

01:23:27He's just never lived up to it.

01:23:29I think he also said Kat was so corny

01:23:31because he lost so many bets on Kat.

01:23:33Oh, yeah.

01:23:35It's all coming together.

01:23:37I also won a lot of bets on Kat.

01:23:39Shane, do you ever

01:23:41distinguish the difference

01:23:43between the athlete and the person?

01:23:45Yeah, I do.

01:23:47Next question.

01:23:49Okay.

01:23:51That was cool.

01:23:53Got me.

01:23:55Jason Tatum's going to move on.

01:23:57The 15th seed play-in is the

01:23:59Korn play-in.

01:24:01I'll be sending you some pictures in the chat as well.

01:24:03This includes Spencer Hawes,

01:24:05Vlad Bradmonovich,

01:24:07Chris Asporzingas, Jeremy Lin,

01:24:09Brad Miller, and David Beckham.

01:24:11Go check your phone.

01:24:13I don't understand.

01:24:15Go take a look and you'll understand why.

01:24:17These are sick.

01:24:19I can't believe Kirk got

01:24:21Vlad Rodmonovich.

01:24:23Every one of these guys,

01:24:25all the white guys that did Korn,

01:24:27or also the Asian guy that did Korn Rose,

01:24:29and then one last one to throw

01:24:31onto the end of that

01:24:33as well.

01:24:35Wow.

01:24:37Unbelievable.

01:24:39Will Compton, who was a

01:24:41literal Korn Husker

01:24:43when he had Korn Rose.

01:24:45He kind of looks sick.

01:24:47He does. I think they all look sick.

01:24:49Spencer Hawes looks good.

01:24:51I had Korn Rose a couple years ago.

01:24:53It's like a double braid.

01:24:55You can do Korn Rose.

01:24:57A lot of UFC fighters do it.

01:24:59I think Beckham looks

01:25:01astounding.

01:25:03Remember when Jeremy Lin got dreadlocks

01:25:05and somebody called him out?

01:25:07Another NBA player said it was appropriation.

01:25:09And then he called him out for having

01:25:11Asian symbols tattooed on him.

01:25:13Kmart, I think, had it.

01:25:15Kenny Martin, I think, had it.

01:25:17Spencer Hawes, he's good

01:25:19because he's at a beach.

01:25:21He thought it was funny.

01:25:23That's actually pretty corny

01:25:25when you think it's funny right away,

01:25:27but I also think it's funny.

01:25:29That's awareness, though.

01:25:31So again, to run through the options,

01:25:33Spencer Hawes, Vlad Radmanovich,

01:25:35Chris Esparzingas, Jeremy Lin, Brad Miller,

01:25:37David Beckham, and

01:25:39Will Compton.

01:25:41Beckham also greeted, I believe,

01:25:43the King of England wearing a do-rag and Korn Rose.

01:25:45I think there's a very famous picture of him

01:25:47shaking hands with the Prince of England.

01:25:49He looks really good.

01:25:51So among those ones, let's start with you,

01:25:53Klemmer. Which one of these do you think?

01:25:55I mean, Radmanovich looks just ridiculous.

01:25:57I mean, that's insane.

01:25:59Radmanovich, one?

01:26:01Yeah, I gotta go there.

01:26:03I know Compton's the easy pick because we know him,

01:26:05but the Radmanovich thing is insane.

01:26:07Are these Korn Rose, though, and Radmanovich,

01:26:09or those box braids?

01:26:11It's more like box braids, honestly.

01:26:13I just looked up every white NBA player that once had braids.

01:26:15Marty?

01:26:17I don't know about CFT because he did it,

01:26:19but who would you think would do Korn Rose

01:26:21at Barstow? I think there's one answer.

01:26:23Nicky Smokes.

01:26:25There's two answers now.

01:26:27He doesn't have enough hair.

01:26:29What office?

01:26:31Yours. You guys know him well.

01:26:33He could do one Korn Rose.

01:26:35He doesn't have a long hair anymore, but it's Rudy.

01:26:37Rudy would try to be a bet.

01:26:39Like when he did the

01:26:41bet to get blonde

01:26:43in his hair.

01:26:45Things he wants to do.

01:26:47We knew he was gonna look cool with the blonde.

01:26:49He was like, let me try this stupid thing.

01:26:51And then he looked good.

01:26:53He thinks he would look cool, and then he wants it as the backup.

01:26:55If somebody says it's not cool, he can say,

01:26:57oh, I lost a bet.

01:26:59Rudy would do it like, yeah, that looks good, dude.

01:27:01Big T would look good with Korn Rose.

01:27:03Oh my god, yeah.

01:27:05I'm going Jeremy Lin.

01:27:07Even though I respect him.

01:27:09You could definitely make him do that.

01:27:11So one for Jeremy Lin,

01:27:13one for Vlad Radmonovich.

01:27:15KB.

01:27:17I don't know anything about these guys, I will say.

01:27:19All of them kind of pull it off,

01:27:21except whoever is on the

01:27:23Sonics.

01:27:25That would be Vlad Radmonovich.

01:27:27Another one for Radmonovich.

01:27:29Nick?

01:27:31I'm going Beckham.

01:27:33There's no place for that in soccer.

01:27:35No place for it in soccer.

01:27:37One for David Beckham.

01:27:39PFT.

01:27:41And Porzingis.

01:27:43Porzingis is like 10.

01:27:45That's almost worse.

01:27:47Korn Rose is a

01:27:4910-year-old Latvian boy.

01:27:51Where do you even go for that?

01:27:53Where do you go in Latvia to get Korn Rose?

01:27:55I was thinking that when I saw the picture,

01:27:57where did he get it done?

01:27:59Who could be doing that in Latvia?

01:28:01Jeremy Lin was good at basketball for 20 days

01:28:03and got it.

01:28:05It's like, oh, I beat a lot of basketball players,

01:28:07let me get breaks.

01:28:09This was years later.

01:28:11This was way after, which makes it worse.

01:28:13I'm going to go with Beckham.

01:28:15Just for...

01:28:17He really had to want Korn Rose

01:28:19for him to get Korn Rose at this era

01:28:21where he was the biggest star in the world.

01:28:23All these other guys

01:28:25are just like, oh, fuck it, this might be fun.

01:28:27And then Beckham was like,

01:28:29no, I'm actually going to change the world with this haircut.

01:28:31That was his mindset.

01:28:33Two for Beckham, one for Lin,

01:28:35two for Radmonovich.

01:28:37Beckham.

01:28:39Another one for Beckham. David Beckham's going to move on.

01:28:41Beckham's going to be playing our number two seed

01:28:43in the bracket, which is LeBron James.

01:28:45And I think that LeBron,

01:28:47one thing that really stands out

01:28:49about it is the constant lying.

01:28:51Not reading the Godfather

01:28:53and being like, that's my God.

01:28:55What did I pick from the Godfather? I won't know.

01:28:57There's so many good ones.

01:28:59The thing with Rashford,

01:29:01he's doing that roundtable interview

01:29:03and the guy's like, yeah, my coach had this saying.

01:29:05A quote

01:29:07from an English soccer coach.

01:29:09He said he knew Kobe would drop 70,

01:29:11saying he's a Liverpool fan

01:29:13while talking to Peter Crouch

01:29:15and didn't realize who he was.

01:29:17Just constant, nonstop lying I think really hurts

01:29:19his corniness here.

01:29:21So LeBron versus David Beckham.

01:29:23Interesting matchup.

01:29:25Let's start with you, Che.

01:29:27I guess LeBron.

01:29:29There is just so much footage

01:29:31of him being corny

01:29:33that it's hard to deny.

01:29:35So I'm going to go LeBron.

01:29:37Wait, you wanted to deny it?

01:29:39I mean, LeBron is

01:29:41one of the greatest basketball players

01:29:43of all time and off the court

01:29:45has a lot of cool endeavors

01:29:47I would think.

01:29:49What's a cool endeavor?

01:29:51He just started a podcast with J.J. Reddick.

01:29:53That was the worst one!

01:29:55That was the least cool thing.

01:29:57There's so many cool things he has

01:29:59and he just picked a J.J. Reddick podcast.

01:30:01Flies out women?

01:30:03Oh, wow.

01:30:05Now that's some news.

01:30:07Are you reporting this?

01:30:09I know for a fact

01:30:11that at least he used to.

01:30:13He said what?

01:30:15I don't know.

01:30:17Flies out women.

01:30:19To fuck.

01:30:21That's so disgusting.

01:30:23I thought part of his thing was faithfulness.

01:30:25Am I crazy?

01:30:27I'll give him credit.

01:30:29As a guy who's been in the limelight

01:30:31that spotlight for that long

01:30:33he doesn't have many bad things.

01:30:35He doesn't?

01:30:37Actually, I was going to bring that up.

01:30:39It's funny.

01:30:41Chase is like, yeah, that's a wild take.

01:30:43I was going to give LeBron credit.

01:30:45He doesn't usually get in trouble

01:30:47but he is corny as fuck.

01:30:49Maybe there's a dark side.

01:30:51Chase is reporting right now.

01:30:53Chase has seen messages.

01:30:55What messages?

01:30:57Are these NBA rumors?

01:30:59No, I've seen...

01:31:01How have you seen the messages?

01:31:03From the women?

01:31:05Can I see one?

01:31:07I don't have them on me.

01:31:09Just to ask a broad question

01:31:11is he like an Adam Levine type texter?

01:31:13Oh my god, your body?

01:31:15Oh my god, your body is so crazy.

01:31:17No, it was like a logistical conversation.

01:31:19Okay.

01:31:21So my penis is going to go into...

01:31:23Enter and then exit.

01:31:25PFT?

01:31:27I got to go LeBron.

01:31:29LeBron is super corny.

01:31:31Even on the court he is corny.

01:31:33Remember when he got his head hit

01:31:35and he was like, yeah, I saw three baskets

01:31:37so I shot for the one in the middle.

01:31:39Remember that one?

01:31:41Remember when he took his penis out

01:31:43before a game?

01:31:45Oh no.

01:31:47Yeah, you know he does the chalk toss

01:31:49and then he always goes underneath his shorts

01:31:51to tuck his jersey in.

01:31:53LeBron's penis just flopped out.

01:31:55Look it up.

01:31:57Sounds pretty cool to me.

01:31:59He also orchestrated them doing...

01:32:01He's got a hammer.

01:32:03He orchestrated the entire Heat team

01:32:05doing the Harlem Shake.

01:32:07The Harlem Shake was cool.

01:32:09It was cool then.

01:32:11It was cool at the time.

01:32:13You were Harlem shaking.

01:32:15No, I know.

01:32:17The second the Macarena came out

01:32:19I'm like, I'm done with all this.

01:32:21Macarena.

01:32:23That's where he drew the line.

01:32:25I can't be doing this with a Macarena.

01:32:27The cha-cha slide happens at a wedding.

01:32:29You out there? Cotton Eye Joe?

01:32:31I don't like line dancing.

01:32:33I love dancing at weddings.

01:32:35The second you say the electric slide

01:32:37I'm like, no, this is dumb.

01:32:39Freestyle.

01:32:41I feel like that's...

01:32:43What's your go-to move?

01:32:45Show us.

01:32:47I don't really have a go-to move.

01:32:49Obviously, look at me.

01:32:51If I have a song that comes on

01:32:53at a wedding

01:32:55just having that freedom of expression

01:32:57of dancing is fun.

01:32:59When you're all in a line doing the same thing

01:33:01especially some horrible ass song

01:33:03like Cotton Eye Joe, it's not bullshit.

01:33:05It just sucks.

01:33:07By the way, very funny skit on this

01:33:09out of order that Nick made.

01:33:11Nick, what would your pick be?

01:33:13LeBron.

01:33:15It's him at the same part of that book

01:33:17pretending to read that book.

01:33:19Is it The Godfather?

01:33:21Was it The Godfather?

01:33:23I think he also did a Malcolm X book.

01:33:25He did.

01:33:27Aryan was just talking about it the other day.

01:33:29This is a quote from Aryan, not from me.

01:33:31Oh, God.

01:33:33They asked him what his favorite part was

01:33:35and then he couldn't think of one.

01:33:37No, just give us something.

01:33:39He was like, just the power

01:33:41about the power of the

01:33:43Negro.

01:33:45His favorite part

01:33:47of the Malcolm X book?

01:33:49The power of the Negro.

01:33:51His brain was back in

01:33:53the 1960s

01:33:55and he was just talking as if Malcolm

01:33:57X was channeling LeBron James'

01:33:59body at that time.

01:34:01Very nice.

01:34:03Letting a dead guy channel your body.

01:34:05Very corny. KB?

01:34:07Yeah, I think LeBron's corny

01:34:09but I don't think it's as off-putting as other people

01:34:11make it out to be. I think it's charming.

01:34:13I agree with that.

01:34:15I think when you don't go to college,

01:34:17when you're a star in high school

01:34:19and middle school, you don't have

01:34:21real things happening around you.

01:34:23Everyone's just sucking you off

01:34:25all the time, you're probably going to be corny.

01:34:27It's not like Jonathan Bender not going to college.

01:34:29This is like someone who was

01:34:31on this cover of Sports Illustrated when he was in high school.

01:34:33He's crazy.

01:34:35He never had a real life.

01:34:37I think he has to be corny.

01:34:39I do think we have to

01:34:41recognize how squeaky clean

01:34:43he has been. It's impressive.

01:34:45Given the fact that since he was 16 years old,

01:34:47everyone was like, this kid is Jesus.

01:34:49And to not have any

01:34:51public scandals that are really even that bad,

01:34:53the worst thing that he ever did was

01:34:55just move to Miami.

01:34:57From Cleveland.

01:34:59And announce it on TV.

01:35:01You piece of shit.

01:35:03Before this show and Shane's revelation,

01:35:05that was the worst thing.

01:35:07Now we know a lot more about him. This is a dark show

01:35:09for LeBron.

01:35:11Great point by Marty about the high school thing though.

01:35:13But LeBron's going to move on.

01:35:15Before we get to the playoffs,

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01:36:15and now we have Cat versus

01:36:17RG3. Clemur.

01:36:19Uh...

01:36:21I'm gonna go RG3.

01:36:23I'm not, honestly,

01:36:25I'm not as familiar with Cat being

01:36:27that corny, honestly.

01:36:29And RG3 has,

01:36:31since he's playing this, he's

01:36:33been a poster child for it.

01:36:35Yeah, I think his search for hot takes

01:36:37has been pretty rough for him.

01:36:39Marty?

01:36:41I'm going RG3.

01:36:43I can't get him racing

01:36:45the bird out of my head.

01:36:47So we're 2 for RG3.

01:36:49KB?

01:36:51Yeah, send him along.

01:36:533 for RG3. Nick?

01:36:55RG3 also code switches and he doesn't

01:36:57have to.

01:36:59It's awesome.

01:37:01Another one for RG3.

01:37:03PFT?

01:37:05I'm going to go with Cat. RG3 has a perfectly normal

01:37:07marriage and he and his family are very

01:37:09happy together.

01:37:11So I'm gonna go with Cat.

01:37:131 for Cat.

01:37:152 for Cat.

01:37:17Either way, RG3's gonna move on.

01:37:19We have a potential here for it to be an RG3 versus

01:37:21Kirk if Kirk were to win

01:37:23this match versus Russell Wilson.

01:37:25So Kirk versus Russell Wilson.

01:37:27Stephen Che?

01:37:31Russell Wilson.

01:37:33I would like to see that matchup but

01:37:35if we're being sanctity of the bracket

01:37:37I think it's Russell Wilson.

01:37:39Sanctity of the bracket pick for Russell Wilson. PFT?

01:37:41I'm gonna go Russ. Easy.

01:37:43He's very tough to beat here I think.

01:37:45Nick?

01:37:47Yeah, it's gotta be Russ here.

01:37:49He has a laundry list of things.

01:37:51The concussion water

01:37:53I forgot about until PFT brought it up.

01:37:55He at one point sent

01:37:57a Valentine's or Mother's Day

01:37:59note to, I think it was to Sierra

01:38:01and somebody

01:38:03pointed out that he got the exact

01:38:05lines of dialogue. It was like a poem.

01:38:07He got it out by Googling the words

01:38:09beautiful woman.

01:38:11And the first

01:38:13Google result had that exact phrase.

01:38:15Yeah.

01:38:17Come on, it's Russell.

01:38:19Russell.

01:38:21That's very funny. It's a corny name too.

01:38:23Russell.

01:38:25It's the name of the guy from fucking, oh right.

01:38:27It's Russell.

01:38:29It's Russell.

01:38:31It's Russell.

01:38:33To go into the finals, Russell Wilson versus

01:38:35RG3.

01:38:37Yeah, Russell Wilson.

01:38:39This was the first name that came up

01:38:41and the stories that I heard that I didn't already know

01:38:43has proven the point even more.

01:38:45We're probably leaving a lot out too.

01:38:47Honestly, yeah.

01:38:49I think he walked in some fashion show in Italy

01:38:51and he was dressed up with the really goofy

01:38:53oversized suit thing and he had the curly

01:38:55weird hair thing as well.

01:38:57I forgot all about that. Yes.

01:38:59There's so much. He's another

01:39:01code switcher. Yeah, that's true.

01:39:03There's a picture of him with the Seahawks

01:39:05with a private jet plane where he's got his hands in his pockets.

01:39:07Remember that? Oh yeah, yeah.

01:39:09I remember that.

01:39:11Marty. Russell.

01:39:13It's also way funnier to call him Russell.

01:39:15Now it's really corny. It's Russell.

01:39:17Oh wait, do you remember the picture

01:39:19PFT, you definitely remember this.

01:39:21The poster thing he did, the rip off of the old 80s

01:39:23posters? Yeah, that was a great one.

01:39:25Yeah, where it's like him in the camo outfit

01:39:27and it's like Dangerous or whatever

01:39:29bullshit it was. I'll see if I can find that later.

01:39:31But, KB?

01:39:33Yeah, Russell. Another for Russell. Nick?

01:39:35I'm surprised he hasn't put out like a

01:39:37Christmas album.

01:39:39Seems like that's something he could do.

01:39:41There you go, another Jason, Kelsey.

01:39:43Yeah, yeah. You're right.

01:39:45I think we had the wrong guess. He did it.

01:39:47They've done two Christmas albums. Two?

01:39:49The Eagles, yeah. I didn't know.

01:39:51Oof.

01:39:53It was Armed and Dangerous

01:39:55by the way I found it.

01:39:57That's like a play on those 80s things.

01:39:59That's not his fault his name's Russell.

01:40:01No, it just looks corny. Nick?

01:40:03You're going with Russ? Yeah, you gotta.

01:40:05Russ over RG3, PFT?

01:40:07Russ. Easy.

01:40:09Easy Russ. Your vote wasn't forced

01:40:11this time, Che?

01:40:13Yeah, I mean, we're also not even

01:40:15talking about his media team and PR firm

01:40:17put out a whole campaign that was called

01:40:19Russ Cook and that became like a theme

01:40:21of like a season.

01:40:23Yeah, Russ Wilson.

01:40:25He had that whole campaign and then he was just ass

01:40:27in Denver and got benched

01:40:29for Jared Stidham.

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01:42:05Alright, thanks to Roan Apparel. On the other side,

01:42:07J.J. Watt versus Steph Curry.

01:42:09Interesting. That's actually a good matchup.

01:42:11Those two guys just dominated the same exact period

01:42:13of time. Starting with you,

01:42:15Che. Well, this is J.J. Watt

01:42:172012 to 2017.

01:42:19It's got to be J.J. Watt.

01:42:21Steph Curry is cool.

01:42:23One for J.J. Watt.

01:42:25I'm going to go with J.J. Watt as well

01:42:27but also Steph Curry is not cool.

01:42:29He's the first guy to get the double bang.

01:42:33You cannot stop.

01:42:35That definitely is cool.

01:42:37Their performance on the court or on the field

01:42:39has a part of their narrative

01:42:41and how we perceive them.

01:42:43I agree. It doesn't have all of the parts.

01:42:45I think it has less of a part

01:42:47than, like, Andrew Luck was a great player

01:42:49but he's a weird guy. We're talking about the weird guy

01:42:51not the great player. I think it all

01:42:53feeds into the narrative of how we perceive them.

01:42:55All these guys are good or else you wouldn't know them.

01:42:57It's also not him on the court. That's Mike Breen.

01:42:59Yeah, that's true.

01:43:01Because of him hitting like a 40 foot shot.

01:43:03He could have done that to anybody.

01:43:06He means like Eric Meaner

01:43:08could have hit that shot and he might have gotten a crazy bang.

01:43:10It's still like an incredible

01:43:12thing that Steph Curry did.

01:43:14It doesn't matter. He's going up against J.J. Watt.

01:43:16PFT, you're going for J.J. Watt.

01:43:18Nick, you're going for J.J. Watt as well?

01:43:20J.J. Watt.

01:43:22I choose to abstain. I will not vote

01:43:24because you and your Yankee bias

01:43:26left off Alex Rodriguez

01:43:28which is a fucking crime.

01:43:30That is a crime and you are biased.

01:43:32I didn't see it.

01:43:34I said it to you. It was in the same thing that had Gary Carter.

01:43:36You are bad.

01:43:38It's bullshit and I am abstaining

01:43:40from this vote. I was holding on to this.

01:43:42We might have to impeach Ken Jack.

01:43:44That is unusual.

01:43:46You saw Gary Carter's the same text.

01:43:48Gary Carter stood out.

01:43:50It's in the same exact text.

01:43:52Why does he hate the brain tumor guy so much?

01:43:54It's in the same exact text. No, it's because you have Yankee bias.

01:43:56A World Series champion is a loser.

01:44:00A-Rod might have gotten to the finals.

01:44:02Thank you.

01:44:04I completely forgot about it.

01:44:06Let's go through what's corny about A-Rod.

01:44:08The kissing the mirror. Very corny.

01:44:10The shirtless picture with the shortstops.

01:44:12The painting of himself as a minotaur.

01:44:14I don't think I've ever seen that.

01:44:16Didn't he sue somebody over

01:44:18the picture of him shitting?

01:44:20Or was that Jeter?

01:44:22There was somebody that was living across the avenue

01:44:24and their window looked down

01:44:26and he was taking a shit and then he sued them.

01:44:28A-Rod doesn't shit.

01:44:30It's him as a centaur.

01:44:32That's real?

01:44:34Why did he do that?

01:44:36He's awesome.

01:44:38The shitting picture is awesome.

01:44:40I'll give you a chance right now.

01:44:42LeBron, we can't take out.

01:44:44No, he's not in it.

01:44:46I'm putting out the option.

01:44:48If you guys want, we can bounce Tatum for A-Rod

01:44:50if you really want.

01:44:52We can't go back in time.

01:44:54What do you guys think?

01:44:56I agree with what Marty said.

01:44:58It's fine.

01:45:00You have to wear this one, Ken Jack.

01:45:02I was offering some sort of recompense here.

01:45:04You did a lot wrong.

01:45:06You are a biased judge.

01:45:08LeBron vs. Tatum

01:45:10is our next matchup.

01:45:12LeBron James.

01:45:14No further explanation.

01:45:16He's fucking around on his wife.

01:45:18Still mad.

01:45:20I don't believe he's fucking around on his wife

01:45:22because I think we would have heard about it by now.

01:45:24I think LeBron is

01:45:26probably a decent guy, but just corny as fuck.

01:45:28You think LeBron James has never cheated on his wife?

01:45:30I don't know.

01:45:32I think we would have heard rumors.

01:45:34I know when Jordan was doing it, we heard a lot of rumors.

01:45:36I've heard a lot of rumors.

01:45:38That's been out.

01:45:40KB?

01:45:42No.

01:45:44It could be Tatum.

01:45:46I don't know enough about him off the court

01:45:48or on the court.

01:45:50I'll go LeBron.

01:45:52Two for LeBron, one for Tatum.

01:45:54Nick?

01:45:56Jason Tatum text a dead man,

01:45:58screenshot it,

01:46:00and then tweeted it out.

01:46:02I think LeBron would have done that too.

01:46:04He could have!

01:46:06He had a million opportunities.

01:46:08Tatum pounced on his first one.

01:46:10I got you. Finger up.

01:46:12Then tweeted it.

01:46:14That's embarrassing.

01:46:16That's so bad.

01:46:18Because of that, that is pinnacle corny.

01:46:20Is it worse for Tatum to do that?

01:46:22Or if LeBron James saw that,

01:46:24and then texted Tatum,

01:46:26be like, King, that's powerful.

01:46:28I bet you LeBron James

01:46:30gave him credit for that.

01:46:32He 100% texted him.

01:46:34Make a group.

01:46:36Add me to that conversation.

01:46:38Three-way group chat with a dead guy?

01:46:40That's fucking crazy.

01:46:42So two to two right now.

01:46:44PFT?

01:46:46I got to go LeBron.

01:46:48The body of work for LeBron is very impressive.

01:46:50That's a high level for sure.

01:46:52But LeBron...

01:46:54LeBron is maybe the king.

01:46:56Maybe the king of corn.

01:46:58The Father of Three stuff that he does.

01:47:00And Taco Tuesday.

01:47:02Oh yeah, the wine.

01:47:04He does that for fun with his kids.

01:47:06Tatum texted a dead man.

01:47:08LeBron James is doing Taco Bell commercials now.

01:47:10That's true.

01:47:12He did have the picture of the wine where he's like,

01:47:14I can't believe this is my life.

01:47:16That's corny.

01:47:18Smelling through it all.

01:47:20That's the most corny moment in history.

01:47:22LeBron also

01:47:24bringing wine everywhere

01:47:26and making sure the cameras catch him

01:47:28bringing wine into the locker room.

01:47:30When you declare yourself out of nowhere,

01:47:32I'm a big wine guy now.

01:47:34His podcast has to have him drinking wine.

01:47:36Yeah, they always have to be drinking the biggest

01:47:38comically large glass of wine while they're podcasting.

01:47:40Fuck, that's true.

01:47:42Three for LeBron, two for Tatum.

01:47:44Chae?

01:47:46Chae Bias certainly has some

01:47:48anti-Jason Tatum feelings, but

01:47:50it's LeBron.

01:47:52The body of work, like PFT said, is incredibly long

01:47:54and distinguished.

01:47:56LeBron James versus J.J. Watt

01:47:58from that specific time period

01:48:00to go into the finals against Russell Wilson.

01:48:02Chae?

01:48:04I think it's J.J. Watt.

01:48:06LeBron certainly,

01:48:08like we just talked about, has a very long body of work,

01:48:10but J.J. Watts was so concentrated

01:48:12in that period. He was the lamest

01:48:14dude around, despite being

01:48:16arguably, at that time,

01:48:18the greatest defensive player ever.

01:48:20So, yeah, it's got to be

01:48:22J.J. Watt. One for J.J. Watt.

01:48:24PFT? Okay, this is

01:48:26going to sound like bullshit, but

01:48:28the fact that it's constrained

01:48:30to a specific time period, I know I put

01:48:32that out there. When I sent it to Kinjak, I was like

01:48:34this time period of J.J. Watt.

01:48:36But the fact that it's constrained

01:48:38makes me go with LeBron on this

01:48:40one, just because LeBron has always

01:48:42been about it, and will always be about it.

01:48:44Where J.J. has,

01:48:46he's morphed. He's changed

01:48:48into a different person, so

01:48:50I'm going to go LeBron.

01:48:52I respect the sanctity of that.

01:48:54Whose peak was better, though?

01:48:56At his peak? J.J.?

01:48:58I'm going with the peak with J.J.

01:49:00I understand.

01:49:02I'm going J.J., and I think that's

01:49:04in his DNA. He may

01:49:06have changed, to save face,

01:49:08but when he's behind closed doors,

01:49:10you think it's

01:49:12similar to Bryson DeChambeau, where it's like fighting demons?

01:49:14Yeah. It's also

01:49:16similar, like Russell was a cornball name.

01:49:18J.J.? Yeah.

01:49:20Tough. Yeah.

01:49:22Should we expect that out of J.J. McCarthy,

01:49:24you think, PFT?

01:49:26Do you think there's any

01:49:28chance that the Vikings drafted J.J.

01:49:30McCarthy, because they're like,

01:49:32we're going to be missing a big, corny

01:49:34presence in our locker room.

01:49:36Losing Kirk Cousins could very well be.

01:49:38We have to get J.J. McCarthy.

01:49:40Yeah. That's like their version of

01:49:42international players in MLS and stuff.

01:49:44They need one corny player on every roster,

01:49:46the bare minimum.

01:49:48So we're three for J.J. right now,

01:49:50one for LeBron. Marty?

01:49:52I have to go, so I'm picking

01:49:54it's J.J.

01:49:56I think you're right.

01:49:58Literally, PFT changed him

01:50:00to be self-aware,

01:50:02and that's

01:50:04pretty corny in itself.

01:50:06I've had another guy tell you you're corny.

01:50:08No adult man should ever

01:50:10have to become self-aware.

01:50:12That's true.

01:50:14You should just know exactly what's going on.

01:50:16I get it now.

01:50:18He's corny.

01:50:20And I'm also going Russell.

01:50:22The whole episode was a huge waste of time.

01:50:24It's all going to be Russell.

01:50:26I have to go as well with Marty.

01:50:28I'm fine with

01:50:30J.J., but I'm going Russell at the end.

01:50:32I mean that. So J.J. versus

01:50:34Russell. Russell with an early lead on two votes.

01:50:36KB? Do the right thing, boys.

01:50:38Yeah, Russell.

01:50:40Three for Russell Wilson.

01:50:42Nick?

01:50:44Kyle, we're supposed to play on that

01:50:46Steelers softball game?

01:50:48I'm going J.J.

01:50:50It's smart.

01:50:52One for J.J.

01:50:54I got to go Russ.

01:50:56He's the king of everything that he does.

01:50:58It's fantastic.

01:51:00I think he just says yes

01:51:02to everything.

01:51:04He might do that, and then he has to

01:51:06figure out a way to sound cool doing whatever he's

01:51:08doing at that moment.

01:51:10It's spicy. Be careful.

01:51:12Another one for

01:51:14Russell Wilson, which is going to be Wynn Bache.

01:51:16Russell Wilson.

01:51:18The one seed. How rare

01:51:20is that on this show that the one seed actually won?

01:51:22We never really think about

01:51:24seedings.

01:51:26I never really think too much about seedings.

01:51:28Loose use of we.

01:51:30Very loose.

01:51:32The winner's going to be Russell Wilson.

01:51:34We might have to think about another bracket for next week.

01:51:36Next week we're going to do it in Chicago.

01:51:38That's all been set up now.

01:51:40Maybe we do, which president is

01:51:42least likely to have 69 before?

01:51:44An episode that 10 people

01:51:46will watch.

01:51:48That's the idea, right?

01:51:50There was one that was gay, right?

01:51:52William Henry Harrison?

01:51:54Yeah.

01:51:56Do you mean 69 in the White House?

01:51:58Wait, you got 69 with another guy?

01:52:00Yeah.

01:52:02Oh my God.

01:52:04Changes everything.

01:52:06Changes got sick.

01:52:08We'll work out the details

01:52:10on that next week. Until then, we'll see you guys later.

01:52:28you

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