- 3 years ago
Dave surprised his wife with a luxurious spa day while on vacation in Mexico. Part of the package was a facial, but he was left feeling uncomfortable when they told him it was fully nude.
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00:00I realized I forgot to tell you guys about something.
00:11What?
00:12Oh, from your Mexican vacation.
00:14Oh, jeez.
00:14Another Dave story from Mexico.
00:16Jeez.
00:17Let's break for a Mexican minute.
00:20Dave's Mexican Minute.
00:23So, I was trying to do something nice.
00:26I mean, it was nice.
00:28Okay.
00:28So, while we were in Mexico, it was Valentine's Day.
00:32Oh, no.
00:32I don't really make a big deal.
00:34Who did you buy furniture for this time?
00:35Yeah.
00:36Seen your day.
00:37I did not buy furniture.
00:39That's a very nice, Dave.
00:42But, because we were there, and it was Valentine's Day, and, you know, Amber's had a tough couple
00:47of years, I figured I'd do something special.
00:49Sure.
00:49Absolutely.
00:50So, online, before we left, I went on the resort's website, and I booked, like, a couple's
00:58spa day.
00:59Okay.
00:59All right.
01:00Right?
01:00Yeah.
01:01I didn't really do my research.
01:02It was just, like, Lover's Day or something.
01:03I don't know.
01:04Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:04They had something.
01:05Yeah.
01:05They had something.
01:06Oh, no.
01:06They had something.
01:07Yeah.
01:08So, I'm like, Lover's Day.
01:09It was, like, massage and aqua therapy and stuff.
01:11I'm like, all right, done.
01:11Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:12Book.
01:12And I just, because I wanted to book in advance to make sure we could do it on Valentine's Day,
01:16because I figured everyone would want to do it on Valentine's Day.
01:18Sure.
01:19So, I get it.
01:20They, you know, the Mexican folks there confirmed my appointment online, and all good.
01:28So, we go.
01:28They say to show up at a certain time in the morning, and it was lovely.
01:33It was very nice.
01:34You start with aqua therapy.
01:36Okay.
01:36So, you're, like, in your bathing suits, and you.
01:38They're spraying water on you or whatever.
01:40Well, no, but not spraying water on you.
01:42Spray down the sinker thing.
01:44You do, like.
01:45The plunges?
01:46Yes.
01:46Okay.
01:46Right.
01:47So, you do, like, a sauna and a steam, and then you do plunges.
01:52You do, like, a warm one.
01:53You do one with jets shooting at your neck.
01:55Okay.
01:56Shooting at your lower back.
01:57Shooting at your stomach.
01:58Okay.
01:58And then, like, cold plunge.
02:01Okay.
02:01You know, all that stuff, right?
02:03Yeah, nice.
02:03That's nice.
02:04And then, when you leave there, you go to the change room, you strip down, and they
02:08take you up for your massage.
02:10All right.
02:11Fully nude?
02:11Yep.
02:12Fully nude, yeah.
02:12Oh, wow.
02:13That's what they do.
02:14Wow.
02:15There's no, a lot of these places have, like, courtesy garments.
02:18Oh, fully nude, huh?
02:19Fully nude.
02:19Yeah.
02:20Oh, see your day.
02:21We will touch you day.
02:22My goodness.
02:23We will touch your wife.
02:26We may do give her much pleasure on this lover's day.
02:29I wouldn't be comfortable with that.
02:31You will hear her sounds of passion.
02:35Raul is up there with your wife.
02:37Oh, my goodness.
02:38Oh, gosh.
02:39No, it was not Raul, thank goodness.
02:41It was two women.
02:43And you're in the room together, right?
02:45Like, your massage beds are side by side.
02:48Yeah.
02:48Right, so no funny business.
02:50Right.
02:50Well, unless you want it.
02:52But, so there's this, like, beast of a lady.
02:56Yeah.
02:56And then there's this little tiny lady.
02:58Right.
02:58So I just assumed, okay, the beast is coming for me and the little lady's for Amber.
03:04No.
03:05I got the tiny little lady, but she had hands of steel.
03:09Well, she's been jerking off dudes for who knows how long.
03:13I mean, like, you get.
03:14You know how strong this hand is?
03:16Stop it.
03:16Stop it.
03:17No, no, no.
03:17My God, the grip strength on this guy right here is.
03:19No, like, I was, like, at first, like, oh, wow, she's not going to give me a great massage.
03:22And then I was, like, damn, girl.
03:23Yeah.
03:23It's so great when they get in there.
03:25Yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:26And so that part was great.
03:29Really good massage.
03:30Like, I felt amazing after it.
03:32And very relaxing.
03:34And, you know, they're like, the weird part is they kept saying stuff to you.
03:38Hello, it's your dad.
03:40She's like, this is your time.
03:43Oh, like, inspirational?
03:45Yes.
03:45It's your time alone.
03:46I need you to relax for me.
03:49Just your time be in your head.
03:53Thinking special time thoughts.
03:55You know, like, weird little, that's the only part I didn't enjoy.
03:59I love the idea of almost getting them right, too.
04:02Like, you know, like, not quite delivering the perfect affirmation.
04:07Yeah.
04:09It is your heart, Miss D.
04:10You are special.
04:11Special dad.
04:12Yeah.
04:13You know, so whatever.
04:14That was the only part I didn't like.
04:16But, so then, we're done.
04:19And I'm like, oh, that was a nice day.
04:20And she's like, this woman's like, I am so sorry.
04:24I am so sorry.
04:25What did they do?
04:26What?
04:27She's like, the other part of your special day.
04:30We cannot do today.
04:33What other part?
04:34I didn't read the whole thing.
04:35Oh, yeah, yeah.
04:36She's like, you're supposed to have luxurious couples facials.
04:39Oh.
04:40And we are short-staffed.
04:42And I am so, so sorry.
04:44But you come back.
04:45You come back next day.
04:47We do for you.
04:47It's very special.
04:49Oh.
04:50Okay.
04:51I'm like, I don't really need it.
04:52I said to Amber, like, you just go.
04:54She's like, no, you paid for it.
04:55You would love it.
04:55Yeah, yeah.
04:56I've never had a facial in my life.
04:58Insert the joke.
04:59I hear who's coming.
05:00I doubt that.
05:01Yeah.
05:01You would love it.
05:02I knew it.
05:02It's a relaxing, amazing experience.
05:05I got it.
05:05Okay, good.
05:06Did you love it?
05:06Yeah, well.
05:07No.
05:08So here's the thing.
05:09So we come back, and she's, like, making a big deal.
05:11She's like, you do aqua therapy again.
05:12I'm like, oh, no, we're okay.
05:13She's like, no, no, no.
05:15We want you to have the whole experience.
05:17Right, right.
05:17So we have to go through the whole thing.
05:18No, we don't want to do that again.
05:19We're shooting on my back.
05:20We're shooting on my back.
05:21Yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:22It's not so great the second time around.
05:23I've been here, done this.
05:24But then, so she's like, okay, go into the change room and get ready for your facial.
05:29So I'm like, what?
05:32She's like, yes, you will be nude.
05:34Whoa.
05:35I'm like, wait, hold on a second.
05:37Well, you can wear, like, underwear or something underneath.
05:39No, not see your face.
05:43Facial, though.
05:43But a lot of times they'll do, like, your chest area, shoulders.
05:49They'll do, like, more arms sometimes.
05:50And they did, but I was, like, so confused.
05:53You know, I'm saying to her, pardon me?
05:55Yeah.
05:55For my face?
05:57Yeah.
05:57And Amber's just looking, and she's like, yeah, I don't understand.
06:01And she's like, yes, your swimsuits are wet.
06:04Oh.
06:04So we will take them.
06:05I see.
06:06And dry them for you.
06:07Oh.
06:07While you have your facial.
06:10A lot of butts in there.
06:11Yeah.
06:12And so it was so strange, though.
06:14So we're lying.
06:15So you lie on a table, pretty much like a massage table, but they cover you with the thinnest
06:20little sheet.
06:22Oh, yeah.
06:22That does not conceal much.
06:25Sin jodan.
06:27Mi amor.
06:28Yeah.
06:28And Amber, this one, it was weird.
06:31It was, like, in two separate rooms.
06:33There was, like, a sliding door between them.
06:35But it wasn't in the same room.
06:37Okay.
06:37Like, our couple's massage.
06:38And then she did this move where she, like, just kind of went straight down your body.
06:45Oh.
06:46I know what that move is.
06:47I know what that move is.
06:48All the way to the feet.
06:49And I'm like, um, there's movement.
06:53And the thinnest of sheets.
06:55It was just very odd.
06:57That's uncomfortable.
06:58Yeah.
06:58We're trying to give you a boner now.
07:01Relax.
07:02I did not realize.
07:03It is your time.
07:05She did that, too.
07:06It is your time to be hard.
07:08I will touch you.
07:11Oh, man.
07:12It was very.
07:13That's a little more advanced.
07:14Very odd.
07:16The whole body.
07:17I've never had that.
07:18Yeah.
07:18That was, like, she just did, like, a little bit of, you know.
07:21A lot of it was chest and shoulders and neck and face.
07:25And she did, like, I don't know.
07:26She must have been squeezing out something out of my nose.
07:28Some blackhead or something.
07:30Oh, my God.
07:30But she got in there.
07:31She was cold.
07:32Oh, my gal.
07:32I'm like, what the hell is going on?
07:34Yep, they do that.
07:35My goodness.
07:35And then there was some sort of electric.
07:37Ooh, nice.
07:38A little sensation.
07:39Were you glowing after?
07:40I bet your face looked good.
07:41I did.
07:42It felt good.
07:43It felt good.
07:43Nice, right?
07:44Yeah.
07:47It's just different.
07:49Andy, do you still want to be in a relationship where you have to do these kind of things?
07:53You're going to probably take it.
07:54Yeah.
07:54You're going to probably take it.
07:55You're going to be like, massage me.
07:57Yeah.
07:57Get a facial.
07:58Whatever weird thing I got to do.
08:00Yeah.
08:01I'm tired of being solo.
08:02Yeah.
08:03Me, not so much.
08:04You'll do it.
08:04You, I know.
08:05Me, not so much.
08:06You don't want a nude facial?
08:08I am so fine.
08:09You, no.
08:10Yeah, you never.
08:11I'm great.
08:12I know.
08:13Yeah, it was just a very, like, my first ever facial, and it was nude and just odd.
08:19You know, I finally relaxed.
08:21Yeah.
08:21But it was, like, the first, you know, 10 minutes, I'm like, there's nothing covering
08:24my dong down here.
08:25Yeah.
08:26I had this, just in this room.
08:28When, you know, with COVID and everything, you had to wear the masks all the time.
08:32And so Lenny was, we had to wear them every day, and he was breaking out or whatever.
08:35So I sent him for a facial, and he was so nervous, but he loved it.
08:39He was like, that was the best experience.
08:41He had no idea.
08:42You guys are so caught up in, you know, that's not manly.
08:45You can't do that.
08:46Again, it's the first time I've ever had it done, but it did feel great.
08:48My skin was wonderful.
08:50Yeah.
08:51To me, it's just the time.
08:53Like, you know, it's the same reason I don't want to go golfing.
08:56But you can't relax in those situations?
08:59Yeah, I wouldn't think you could.
09:00Yeah, I'm the same way with those kind of things.
09:02I just, I can't go and sit on a beach for an hour.
09:05No way, no chance.
09:06We'll get waves for an hour.
09:07I can't sit in a chair and read a book.
09:12Whereas I'm, like, trying to get into meditation and be calm and stressed.
09:16So this is the stuff I'm looking for.
09:18Like, okay, like, I can relax now.
09:19Senior Dave.
09:21You're drifting away, Senior Dave.
09:25Think about your toes.
09:27Feel it in your toes.
09:28Now you're feeling it in your calves.
09:31Moving up to your knees.
09:32Okay, all right.
09:33To your thighs.
09:34Now you feel it in your penis.
09:36Okay.
09:37And your backside.
09:40Feel the tingles traveling up your belly.
09:42Okay.
09:43Now to your boobies.
09:44Oh, wow.
09:45Goodness.
09:46In your chest.
09:46Okay.
09:47To your neck.
09:48Yep.
09:49Feel it all the way.