00:00Hi, I'm Esther and today I'm going through people's bags because they're letting me and also to learn about the
00:05people of New York City and how weird they are
00:10So I made a stop in a coffee shop and I found this guy who looks cool. Hi. Hi. Thanks
00:17for calling me cool
00:18Yeah, what's your name? My name is Jonathan. Okay, so I'm just gonna go through your bag. Yeah, that's cool
00:22Yeah, yeah. I noticed that you have a wedding ring. Is that like to get is that like a way
00:27of negging people?
00:28Uh, no, it's not. It's just a way of this just symbolizing that I'm married
00:34Just simple use. Okay, we can overcome that. Okay. Oh
00:38My god a phone charger
00:41That is so romantic. You know, I have a fantasy that I'm just like walking down the street a damsel
00:46in distress
00:47And I have five percent on my phone and then a handsome man walks in is like let me save
00:52you
00:52Let me be your hero. Yeah, I could be that guy. Oh
00:56Oh my god a nice computer. Are you rich?
01:00I mean more chargers. This is just very attractive. You're a modern-day
01:07Gaston
01:09Is this a bracelet?
01:11No, it's actually a bug repellent
01:14I didn't know this existed. I need to sleep wearing this. Do you ever wake up and just you're covered
01:18in bug bites?
01:19Maybe that was just shingles
01:23You have a car? I do
01:26So if you ever need to go to a supermarket
01:28We're going places. You and me are going places. Get it?
01:32Vroom vroom
01:33Yeah, yeah
01:33Hotel key
01:35Hotel key
01:36Yeah
01:37Hotel key
01:38I just had to speak in front of the crowd the other day about one of my stories
01:42Okay, are you an escort? Because you have way too many hotel keys
01:45No
01:46What's your price?
01:47Oh my god, you have health insurance?
01:50Yeah
01:51You're so rich
01:53Okay, well
01:54Are you exhausted?
01:55I am exhausted
01:56I could use like a back rub or something later
01:58Oh, okay, yeah
01:59We could maybe like call somebody to do that for you
02:01Yeah, that's what I was thinking
02:03Yeah
02:03Um, what's your wife like?
02:05Uh, she looks a lot like you
02:07Does she have a beautiful smile?
02:11Okay, well thanks Jonathan
02:12Yeah, you got it. Thanks for having me in this space
02:16Love you, bye
02:17Yeah
02:17So, from going through the cool dude stuff
02:20I learned that phone chargers basically make you my modern day Prince Charming
02:25If you have a car, a computer, and health insurance, let's get down
02:32And if you have that many hotel keys in your backpack, you are definitely an escort, okay?
02:38Short story writing isn't buying you a car
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