00:05Is cleanliness important to you? Do you feel less than fresh? Are the smells spewing from your loins
00:16alerting bystanders to the shameful presence of your lady flower? Try Lawrence of a labia scented
00:23douche. Because having a pussy shouldn't mean smelling like one. I can't believe the douche
00:36alarm is still going off. I mean, honestly.
00:52All right, baby. Nothing to it but to do it. Suit up. Step away from the douches. I repeat,
00:59step away from... Don't make me do... Oh, ma'am! What the fuck is going on? Oh, yes. Sorry.
01:10I'm Brennan. This is Jackie. We are your friendly neighborhood pussy wizards. Yeah. Pussy wizards.
01:18Nice to meet you. What the fuck are you doing? I like Jiminy Cricket. Ew. But for pussy.
01:30So right off the bat, the obvious thing about commercial douches is that they're a fucking
01:34scam. The vagina is a fully self-cleaning organ. And the idea that you need to flush it out
01:41with perfume bullshit is an idea that was sold to you by dummies who are scared of pussy and
01:48want you to be scared of pussy too. Seriously though, if douche smell was half as good as pussy,
01:53this aisle would be filled with teenage boys. I don't see any. So how does the douche industry
02:01rake in $500 million a year selling women harmful pussy baths? Currently one in every four American
02:08women douche. And those stats climb even higher when you break them down internationally. For example,
02:14in Turkey and Kenya, douching is totally commonplace. And what's worse is that those rates of douching
02:21are directly correlated to vaginal infections in those countries. This is because shame-based
02:26advertising works. I mean, 50 years ago, none of us were wearing deodorant. Look how that
02:31turned out. Damn, they're good at selling this shit. See, douches were initially invented in
02:36the late 1800s as a form of birth control. Which, by the way, douching is such a terrible form of
02:43birth control. Like you're literally flushing sperm up into your uterus while increasing your risk
02:49of disease. Vaginal douching is associated with the following fuck-up shit. It significantly increases
02:56your risk of pelvic inflammatory disease. Think infertility and chronic abdominal pain.
03:03It's awful. Douching also ups your risk of ectopic pregnancy. You ever see that movie Alien? The scene
03:09where it pops out of your stomach? That's a baby. Terrifying. It's associated with high rates of infertility.
03:15You do not want to fuck with the helpful microbes of humanity's home base.
03:19It can cause bacterial vaginosis.
03:22Fish burrito.
03:25It's correlated with low birth weight infants and preterm labor.
03:28Killing the good bacteria in your puss is bad for baby.
03:32And linked to an increase in cervical cancer.
03:35Yikes.
03:37Wait, so this is all bullshit?
03:40Yup.
03:41And this is bad for me?
03:42Honey, the FDA urged the douche industry to include warning labels back in 1997.
03:49Wait, we've known about this since Air Bud came out?
03:52And yet 25% of American women continue to douche under the pretense that it keeps their vagina
03:58all healthy and safe and great lies.
04:01So, wait a minute. If douching is bad, what am I supposed to do with this?
04:08No worries. The care and keeping of pussy is actually really stupid eating.
04:13The healthy microflora in your vagina help to keep pathogenic invaders.
04:18Harmful bacteria, an overgrowth of yeast, you know, bad shit.
04:21From getting comfy in your puss, your native vaginal microbiome contains a tangy low pH,
04:29inhospitable to those who might want to live in your warm little sex game.
04:32Sex game?
04:33Yeah.
04:34Your vagina is a magical self-cleaning fucklord.
04:38Oh my god, maybe even...
04:41So, if douches are bad...
04:44Which they are, yeah.
04:45Then what do we do with, uh, this?
04:50Douchebuy!
04:58And one little tip. If it's gotta taste like grandma's potpourri for you to eat it,
05:03you probably don't like it.
05:05If you would like to watch some more, you may try clicking another episode here.
05:10Or perhaps subscribing here.
