00:00Here are three weirdly specific predictions for the opening weekend of the Premier League
00:04season. Arsenal versus Coventry on the opening night. Nice. Frank Lampard gets so rattled on
00:09the touchline by Arsenal and Arteta's antics that he makes some sort of reference to how many
00:14Premier League titles he won at Chelsea as a player post-match and how hard it is to retain
00:18the league. A late Victor Joucares penalty triggers this meltdown. We are so back.
00:22Crystal Palace have beaten Everton once in their last 23 Premier League meetings. That's 12 years.
00:3012. Is that not mental considering both teams have been in the league that entire time?
00:35In the most typical Palace thing ever, Brennan Johnson scores on his Everton debut and the
00:39Toffees come from behind to beat Palace on the opening day. McNeil opens the scoring for Palace
00:44just for typical Everton to be ticked off as well. Izak makes his long-awaited return to Newcastle
00:48on Sunday and the volume of boos might genuinely register on the Richter scale. Nick Voltemar
00:53scores for Newcastle and imitates Izak's pointing celebration just for the Swedish striker to
00:58sheepishly equalise right at the end. Try and applaud the home fans at full time only to scurry
01:03off down the tunnel. Box office.
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