00:00Hello Widdenshire Amateurs. Hi, is this the football team? Yeah. I'm just wondering if I can join your football club.
00:09You want to play football? Yeah, because I'm dead good, like proper Ronaldo Messi like. Right. I don't play for
00:17the school team anymore because they said I wasn't good enough, but don't believe them, ignore them, I'm well good
00:23enough. Do you love it? Yeah, I proper love it. Right. How old are you? I'm three nearly six.
00:30But I've been playing for the senior teams. Oh right. I say playing, I've been the ball boy, so I've
00:37been getting a lot of the ball. Oh right, that's good. Yeah, well good. Right, who's your favourite player? Probably
00:43my mate Kieran at school. He scored one of the best goals I've ever seen in my life. Scored with
00:52his head. With his head. Right. Just bumped it in with his noggin. And it was the best goal ever.
00:59Was it?
01:00Yeah, but it was called offside. Oh no. Yeah, he went mad at the linesman. Yeah. But we didn't have
01:08a linesman, he just went mad. Oh right, just at a person? Yeah. It was someone walking past and he
01:14just had to go in.
01:19Okay. So you don't play at the minute, but you want to come and play at my football team? Yeah.
01:24Have you got any positions open? Oh, we might have, you know. What position do you want to play? Any
01:29of it except my mascot. Why? Wearing that big costume on a hot day gets pretty sweaty. Ah, you don't
01:37want a sweaty head? No. Right, okay.
01:39Because I've got a beautiful compression. Have you? Yeah. My mum says I look like my dad, but I don't
01:45know who my dad is, so I bet he's a proper good-looking bloke.
01:52Okay. Right, so does your mum know that you want to play football? No, she's in bed. Oh. All the
01:58time.
01:59She's loving this lockdown at the minute, because she doesn't have to go out. Okay, who's looking after you then?
02:06Me. I'm a big boy. You're making your own dinner?
02:08Well, I'm making my own Pop Noodle.
02:10All right. Do you have it on a butter? No. Put it on a butter? I will not. Have you
02:17got your own football boots? Yeah, I've got my own football boots, but I've got to give them back to
02:21my mate Ben from year three. Technically, they're not my own football boots, but they are until I give them
02:27back. Right, okay. Do they make you run dead fast? Proper fast, I'm happy to that. Meow. Wow, that is
02:34sad.
02:34I can do three keeping-ups. Three? Yeah, I'm that good. Right, are you good at dribbling? Yeah, I get
02:41it all over my chin.
02:49That's not what I meant. I don't mean dribbling down your chin. Yeah, I'm dead fast as well dribbling. Bosh,
02:58bosh. My foot, right foot. Top corner.
03:05So, yeah, I'm really good at dribbling. Are you really good at scoring goals? Yeah, I scored a goal once.
03:12Once? Yeah, there was no keeper. Ah, right. Okay.
03:17And on the same day, runner is taking shots. I missed 17. But I'm good on the wings. Like Ronaldo.
03:26He's on a little bit more money than me. But I'm better than him.
03:30We don't pay money, we pay in burgers and hot dogs. Perfect. I'm surprised my mum's not playing for you.
03:41Maybe you should bring your mum down to have a look. You can just put my mum in net.
03:46Because she'll fit right in it. You won't be able to get nothing past her.
03:52I've got an Uncle Barry. It's not a real uncle. He just comes around to play wrestling with my mum.
03:57But he takes me to the park sometimes. He lets me play football on the green while he sells some
04:06of his plants to his friends.
04:11That's nice, isn't it? You're busy playing. Yeah. While he's making some money.
04:15It's win-win for me. You've got to sell plants. Yeah, he's got some plants in the attic in his
04:20mouth, hasn't he?
04:21Like we always go out and we always see his mate, Smackhead Steve.
04:28And sometimes Smackhead Steve plays football with me. So it's a really good day. It's a really good day, yeah.
04:35Sounds good fun, yeah. And the police are always there. It's always good fun.
04:40So do you think there's a bit of room on the football team for me?
04:44I think we could make some room for you.
04:46Get rid of Ronaldo. Yeah.
04:48Get me on the wing. Simple.
04:49She's got loads of goals. And win loads of trophies.
04:52Win loads of trophies. My mum's going to be so proud.
04:56Yeah, of course she is.
04:58Don't expect her to come to any of the games though.
05:00Oh really?
05:01Yeah, she's just far too lazy.
05:06That's why she'd be good in there. Just sat there, in there, falling asleep eating burgers and hot dogs.
05:15Okay, that sounds really good. What name should we put on your shirt?
05:19Tim, my name.
05:20How do you spell it?
05:21Tititma.
05:26Tititma.
05:26Yeah, Tititma.
05:28Tititma.
05:28A for Tim.
05:29A for Tim.
05:30And me for Tim.
05:32Right, okay.
05:33And what number do you want on it?
05:35Three nearly six.
05:36If you could put Tititma, three nearly six on the back.
05:39And then just underneath it, if you could just put Galactico.
05:43Because I...
05:46Because I'm a world beater.
05:48You should see me on FIFA.
05:50On FIFA?
05:51I'm real good at FIFA.
05:53Oh my god.
05:54This one time, I won 1-0.
05:58Mind-blowing.
05:59That sounds good.
06:00Mind-blowing.
06:02Absolutely smashed it that day.
06:07Galactico.
06:08Galactico.
06:09Yeah.
06:10Okay.
06:10Not Tesco.
06:13Galactico.
06:16What have I got to do now?
06:18Just turn up and skuggles.
06:20Yeah, please.
06:21That'd be great.
06:22If you can get me a top.
06:23Oh right, you want a top as well?
06:24Of course you do.
06:25I'm not going to play bare-chested, am I?
06:27I don't want all the women going mental, screaming.
06:31Oh, Tim!
06:32I don't want that, do I?
06:34No, we don't want that.
06:35I'll find you a shirt then.
06:36It's a blue and white shirt.
06:37Is that okay?
06:38Have you gone in red?
06:39No.
06:40All this for nothing.
06:44Why have you got a red shirt?
06:46All right, I'll find you a red shirt then.
06:47And then you're done, that's it.
06:48Just line up all the trophies.
06:50And then I'll take them home.
06:52I won't steal them.
06:53I'll earn them.
06:54I'm not just going to rob them.
06:56Take a load of the metal home and give it to Uncle Barry
06:59so I can go and weigh them in.
07:03So have I got a football team now, yeah?
07:05Yes, you have.
07:06Yes.
07:07Yes.
07:07Do you know what it's called?
07:09No.
07:10What is it called?
07:11Wivershaw AFC.
07:12What does AFC stand for?
07:14Africa.
07:17Wivershaw Africa.
07:19I knew I'd seen them in the World Cup.
07:24Wivershaw Africa.
07:26Please Brazil.
07:29I'm going to go, I'm going to go and get some training in.
07:31All right, okay.
07:32I'm going to go and eat a raw rag.
07:34Protein.
07:35I'm going to run up and down the stairs three times.
07:38While I'm on the floor for a bit.
07:41I'm ready.
07:42Can't wait.
07:43All right.
07:44See you soon.
07:45See you in a bit.
07:46Love you.
07:46Bye.
07:47Love you.
07:48Bye.
07:49Love you.
07:49Love you too.
07:50Yay.
07:52And see you in a bit.
07:53Bye.
07:54Bye.
07:55Bye.
07:57Got myself a football team.
07:59Bye.
08:00Bye.
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