- il y a 3 jours
Watch Slo Pitch The Housewives of Mississauga 1, Season 1 Episode 7 on Dailymotion (2026).
Catégorie
📺
TVTranscription
00:041st playoff game of the season and what's that that's Joanne opening a beer before the game
00:12that is the taste of knowing you got the game in the bag we are playing the real housewives
00:19of mississauga and uh they're uh they're a broker his favorite uh yeah you're gonna see why they
00:28are just like the ladies on that tv show who doesn't love a milf hi kim you look gorgeous as
00:36always
00:37i'm the queen bee of mississauga i run the hive we love you of course you do but i will
00:46sting
00:46when the fakes come buzzing
01:22they always let us win uh they love us because to them are basically boys so we get discouraged
01:28the whole female competition thing plus we got this like confusing appeal because of the gay thing
01:33they love flirting with us so i told the team lean away and eat you uh god i'm getting good
01:39at this
01:40coaching thing look at that look at that since when do you bring us gifts i always bring you gifts
01:46i
01:46brought you those buttons last week yeah but then you told us to hand them out at our poor people
01:49jobs or else there she is kim oh my god hi my girlie hey what is up what is up
02:03this is so great i was reading your newsletter the other day and i heard that lashes
02:09are back in which is so funny because uh i always say that eyelashes are the windshield wipers to the
02:15soul
02:15we're in the middle of a game oh of course no i know because i sponsor the team
02:23seriously we love bob uh uh no can you so uh question is anybody thirsty me no so anybody
02:38anybody don't be shy anybody i know you love a luxurious white kimmy which makes sense because
02:45you are a luxurious white
02:49gosh did she say that guys did did barb sleep with one of their pool boys or something
02:56let's play ball
02:59in mississauga there's a pecking order if you cross kim calloway you better look out because
03:05she is not one to be played with trust me your team is going down barbaretti
03:13you look great like
03:15bitch
03:28why are they trying to kick our asses all of a sudden this was supposed to be our cakewalk
03:32game something's up weird rich lady stuff i'm gonna turn this around yeah okay this should
03:42you're crazy barb you okay your your energy is kind of off yeah sure um no look um listen the
03:49the the campaign train is pulling into the station okay and i have been racing kim calloway's wheels
03:55because i need to get a ticket to her charity gala tomorrow what's so special about the gala
04:00i need to go to the gala so that i can impress her so that she can then endorse me
04:04in her stupid
04:04newsletter the missus saga that's dumb nobody gets onto city council without her approval so i'm a little
04:10you know kim calloway a secret mississauga power cabal yeah and unfortunately she freaking hates me
04:17nice wine try hard barb maybe you should get your team to try a little harder barb why are they
04:23calling
04:23you try hard bob me i mean i don't know and it's maybe because you brought seven different kinds of
04:31wine glasses to a baseball diamond no it's listen it's not that it's i know why they hate me okay
04:38and i get it i once stole a very important man from kim what yes okay i was throwing an
04:47event
04:47and i was like desperate for him i needed him you stole her husband husband god gross rich no he's
04:56disgusting he's an idiot too no her caterer and now i'm paying the price
05:03okay girls we got this you got it you got it let's do this hey
05:11tate we uh met in line at bang bang ice cream we had a little bang bang and then you
05:17screamed
05:20yeah i sneeze when i come tate tate right yeah oh that's uh no what you doing here never missed
05:28one of mamacita's playoff games oh mamacita oh mommy hi darling hi kim kim's your mom yeah
05:38i'm a mama's boy anyways i thought i'd pop by because i wanted to ask you something very
05:43important very important um will you go to my mom's gala with me oh my god tate get up get
05:51up get up
05:51get up uh oh so nice of you that's really sweet i think it was a one-time thing though
05:58and and maybe
05:59it's best if we don't say anything to your mom about about what happened to keep it special for us
06:05okay yeah okay okay i gotta i gotta go uh soon i've seen you i'm coming hurry up you have
06:12a
06:12marijuana problem yep it's a problem i got a problem barb she got kicked out of the nest
06:18i mean sorry you're just you're in my interview uh barb's acting very weird even for barb
06:25apparently the housewives hate her and uh yeah i don't know i we need this win but barb's feeling
06:33like a liability so
06:38if you want to go there it's fine just zoom in
06:43i don't know how to fix this teen teen real housewives usually let us win but today they
06:49are rage playing us okay so we gotta go bro mode or the playoffs are donezo and by bro mode
06:55you mean
06:55i'm so glad you asked sasha playlist and shotgun mel flirting horse punch all nets bro mode on three
07:11come on kim we know you love this song ladies who want some of boris's homemade fruit gun
07:20go kimmy it's your birthday don't get used to this joanne heads up if you want some okay
07:28don't beat that don't beat that don't beat that don't beat that
07:32oh no ladies
07:36shaky hawk計
07:37flips the workman ancient recipes stor marquee melons
07:41myself
07:41mi
07:42Turn it down
07:44go johannes go joanne
07:46bases loaded brovary look alive
07:49kimON
07:49hey kimON
07:50if you like it then you better put a swing on it
07:52barb pipe down i need all the concentration i can get…
07:56Welcome to you gonna knockout in front of my
07:57don't you go easy on me joanne
07:59and ann i think this one is coming to you you little minx
08:03Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
08:33Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
09:10Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
09:12Thanks.
09:15Cheers.
09:15Cheers.
09:17You got a lot to learn, Bob.
09:18Great work, team.
09:21What's up?
09:24Hey, Barb.
09:27Hey.
09:29Well, I'm just a lost cause tryhard.
09:31I might as well kiss the gal goodbye and just quit the race altogether.
09:34Hey, quitting's stupid.
09:36Yeah.
09:36I don't get it.
09:38You guys charmed them into letting you win, and I don't understand.
09:42Why don't they like me?
09:44Why do they like you?
09:45Because we're their bros.
09:47Bros before hoes.
09:48That's right.
09:48There's actually nothing wrong with being a ho.
09:50The patriarchy wants you to be-
09:51Okay, sorry, not now.
09:52Okay.
09:53Listen.
09:54You want the housewives to like you, you gotta loosen up.
09:56You gotta embrace your inner brovery.
09:58If they don't think about you as competition, they're gonna let you win.
10:02I don't wanna be some loosey-goosey bro.
10:04I don't want my life peeking in the middle.
10:06I wanna be on top.
10:07Hey, me too.
10:08Hey.
10:09What?
10:11So, I'm just supposed to start using natural deodorant and drink pissed beer like you?
10:17Yeah.
10:17Fuck yeah.
10:18Yeah.
10:19Yeah.
10:20Yeah.
10:20Ugh.
10:22Well, okay.
10:23If you think coaching me into being a weird slob will help, I guess I could try it.
10:29It would be an honor.
10:32We're gonna queer eye ya.
10:33Yeah!
10:35Yes!
10:36That would be so fun.
10:38First order of bro-ness, we need to get you a ticket to that gala.
10:41Yes.
10:42And?
10:43I think you might have a connection there.
10:46Okay.
10:46No.
10:47No, I don't.
10:49You sure?
10:50Yes, I'm sure.
10:52Bro, you missed them all like three times.
10:54Okay, shut up, dude.
10:55Hey, Tate!
10:57Hi.
10:58I, uh, oh, that's so, so, um, listen, can you do something for me?
11:06Yes.
11:07Anything, Mike Khaleesi.
11:08Uh, about that gala invitation.
11:15So, Anne and I managed to get Barbara tickets to the gala, uh, but Anne has to go now, too.
11:20Which I hate you for.
11:21This is called working the angles.
11:23It is a key to good coaching.
11:25So, you just gotta work outside your field of expertise, which is how I wrangled a nice two-for-one
11:31with Kim's son.
11:32You?
11:33That was me.
11:33I did that.
11:34Who coached you?
11:36I hate it.
11:36Come on.
11:38Oh, Bob, let's see it.
11:39Let's see, let's see.
11:41Wow.
11:42Yes.
11:43Yes.
11:44That's amazing.
11:46No, this feels wrong.
11:47And, and, and I smell like popcorn.
11:49That's the suit that I wore to my nephew's short film premiere.
11:53VIP cineplex.
11:54Fancy.
11:57Oh, my God.
11:58Kim, Callaway is never gonna endorse me if I look like a lesbian, if I look fluid.
12:03Look, you gotta trust us.
12:05Didn't you see what happened when we turned on the bro charm?
12:07Mm-hmm.
12:08Housewives were putty in our hands.
12:10Right.
12:10Can I at least have my lashes back?
12:11I feel naked without them.
12:13No, there's a centipede trying to fuck them in the sink.
12:15My tits, they're just, you know, so far apart.
12:18My shoes, I'm so low to the ground like I'm from munchkin land, like you.
12:23Oh, what does that mean?
12:24I'll get, I'll get that.
12:25Okay, working another angle here.
12:26Yeah.
12:27How do you build an outfit?
12:28Okay.
12:29Well, usually I find the highest heels I can.
12:31I put those on.
12:32Then I grab a skirt and make sure that it hugs my money maker, which is my ass because
12:38it's tight.
12:39And then I put on a power top.
12:41I love a power top.
12:42Me too.
12:43Got it.
12:44Um, is that you?
12:47It doesn't matter if it's me or not.
12:49It's whatever version of me Kim Calloway approves of, so that that bitch can start opening
12:53some doors.
12:54Well, guess what?
12:55Broveries are in the business of kicking down doors.
12:58Hence the shoes.
12:59Oh!
13:00Got the balls.
13:02Little sides.
13:03Special arrivals.
13:05Yeah.
13:05Let's see.
13:06I'll do the honors.
13:07Me too.
13:08Okay.
13:09Oh.
13:10Oh.
13:11Oh, my God.
13:13Can't wait to see this on you.
13:15And then on my floor, Tate.
13:20Tate?
13:21Tate Calloway?
13:22Kim's son?
13:23Yeah.
13:23He's 19.
13:24What?
13:25Yeah.
13:25You didn't, like, actually sleep with that kid, did you?
13:29Two weeks ago I was on a booze cruise and I had sex with Kim Calloway.
13:33and then a couple days later I hooked up with a young man named Tate.
13:39Mommy and son?
13:41Is that even legal?
13:43Okay, it didn't happen at the same time.
13:44Do they both sneeze when they come?
13:46The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, kids.
13:49Adults.
13:50Adults.
13:5119 is legal though.
13:58Cigarette?
13:59Yeah, that's right.
14:02Your suit, it's, uh, it's doing things to me.
14:08Boris, I have to focus on bromo tonight, alright? You're a walking distraction.
14:12How about one cheeky puff?
14:19Alright, go home, seriously.
14:21Go to your house.
14:23Okay, yes, I'm going.
14:24Have fun.
14:24Thank you.
14:27What?
14:28Weird.
14:37You look so beautiful.
14:41No, I'm sorry.
14:42No, it's too hot.
14:43Kim and Tate are going to be all over me.
14:44Oh my, no.
14:45You gotta, you gotta ug me up.
14:47Glow me down.
14:48Jesus Christ.
14:49I don't know about this.
14:50I, no.
14:52Joanne!
14:52I'm not coming.
14:53I can't do this.
14:54No time to ug you up.
14:55Get in the car.
14:56Okay.
14:57Oh my God, I'm so hot.
14:59Where are you?
14:59Where are my shoes?
15:09Alright.
15:10Get in here.
15:12Yeah.
15:12Game plan.
15:13I'm sorry.
15:15Ann, can I just say you look absolutely incredible.
15:17I know, right?
15:18God, I hate to admit it but the, the kid's got, the man, Tate, Tate's got good taste.
15:22I don't see it.
15:24Sorry.
15:24Game plan.
15:25Yeah.
15:26Barb, you're gonna roll up.
15:27You're gonna work the room, shake hands like you mean it.
15:30Yeah.
15:30And you're gonna lock down that selfie with Kim.
15:32Yep.
15:33What, uh, what's the topic?
15:34What's the opener?
15:35Okay.
15:36I'm thinking diamonds.
15:37Uh, menopause.
15:38No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
15:39Think bro mode.
15:40Right, bro mode.
15:41Impersonations.
15:42Close up magic.
15:43Oh.
15:44Who's funny?
15:45Uh, well, Joanne, oh yeah, this is good.
15:47Wait for this.
15:48Book a party jokes.
15:49Oh.
15:49Yeah, okay.
15:50Got me through many a high school dance.
15:52That's good.
15:52And remember, you wanna be unforgettable, give them a show they'll never forget.
15:57Okay.
15:58I can do this.
15:59You can.
16:00I'm gonna be right behind you every step of the way.
16:02Uh, no, no.
16:03You stay in the car.
16:04I can't have any more distractions tonight.
16:06Yoo-hoo!
16:07Barbie!
16:08Hey, hey, look!
16:09I got a job!
16:10We are not done queer eyeing you yet, Missy!
16:13Of course.
16:14Joanne's Caramo.
16:15I'm Antony from Kitchen and Anna's Chandler.
16:18Chandler.
16:19From France.
16:19Oh, yeah.
16:20Well, well, well.
16:22Looks like you try hard barbed your way in after all.
16:25Barb, your outfit is so brave.
16:29Do I smell popcorn?
16:31I can't do this.
16:33I can't.
16:34Do you want me to cyber bully then?
16:35I'm gonna go put something in the pie.
16:37Ladies, I've got pie!
16:39Hi!
16:40Nice to meet you.
16:41I'm Barb Barbaretti.
16:42I'm running for a city councilor.
16:43A lot of people describe me as a really funny small bitch, which I think, wow, that's
16:49the type of person I would want to lead.
16:50Um, do you guys know if you've seen a girl?
16:52She's this tall, very beautiful, wearing a dress that kind of looks like this color.
16:57I'll tell you though, I don't want to make you feel weird, but normally I wear a way better
17:01bra.
17:02No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
17:05What if Barb's drowning in there?
17:07Huh?
17:08I know Barb is mean and condescending and hiding herself under layers of misogyny and capitalism,
17:15but goddammit, she is a brovary.
17:18And she has worked damn hard, and she deserves to be on city council.
17:23I gotta get in there.
17:25My body is craving that sweet, sweet chaos management, you know?
17:30Hey!
17:31What size are you?
17:33Shit.
17:35Fuck.
17:36Oh, thank god I found you.
17:38Yes.
17:39Oh, okay.
17:40Well, I have successfully avoided both mother and child so far.
17:42Mm-hmm.
17:43I'm just gonna stay hearing with you though, because if Kim finds out that I had sex with
17:47her teenage son, she's gonna send me straight to jail.
17:49Oh!
17:49Did I even tell you that I almost went to jail once because you are only allowed to have
17:53four pet rats in Canada?
17:55That sounds reasonable.
17:56So stupid.
17:57Well...
17:57Do you want one of these spring rolls?
17:59I've been working on them for an hour.
18:00No, thank you.
18:00I'm a little nauseous.
18:01Right.
18:02Actually, I have a question for you.
18:03Oh, yes.
18:04Annie, a little bonding moment.
18:06Let's have it.
18:06Yeah, listen.
18:07Do you think I'm a sex addict?
18:09Um, well, uh, how many times a week would you say you're having sex?
18:13Like, zero to three times, three to five times, or more like ten times?
18:17Ugh, depends on the week.
18:18Okay.
18:19Do you find yourself having sex mostly socially, with others, or is it, is it a lot of time,
18:24is it alone?
18:25Yeah, with others, definitely.
18:27That's good.
18:28And, um, do you need sex to get out of bed in the morning?
18:31No.
18:33Wait.
18:34Where did you get these questions from?
18:36Oh, on the back of this beer can.
18:38I just swapped, uh, sex for beer.
18:41It also says 19+, drink responsibly, and enjoy with water.
18:44Okay.
18:45Mm-hmm.
18:45That's applicable to the sex addiction stuff.
18:48Well...
18:48Hello.
18:50You're a knockout.
18:51I knew it.
18:52That dress fits you like a sock.
18:54I mean, how come no one ever says that?
18:55Socks fit really well.
18:56Yeah, yeah.
18:58How did you know my size?
18:59I have a photographic memory.
19:01Mmm.
19:01Oh.
19:02Oh.
19:03Mmm.
19:04So, you want to make the rounds?
19:06Maybe we can make my mom's newsletter as this month's Mr. and Mrs. Socks.
19:11Wow, what an idea.
19:13And I think I'll, um, I'll meet you out there.
19:16You fancy a drink?
19:17I can order those, because I turned 19.
19:2019.
19:20Nice work.
19:21Yeah, that's right.
19:22That's, I'll, ah, whatever you're having.
19:24Two buttery nipples coming right up, my lady.
19:27Oh, nice.
19:29Yeah.
19:29She's been talking about you all night.
19:31What?
19:32I know.
19:32She's really looking forward to after the gala, you know?
19:35Shut up.
19:36Hey, guys.
19:37Joanne!
19:38I snuck in.
19:39What are you doing?
19:39You're supposed to be waiting in the car.
19:41But it...
19:41No, Joanne.
19:42I am the kitchen queer eye.
19:43My domain.
19:44You're not allowed to be here.
19:45No, I can't help myself, guys.
19:47I'm joining the fur coaching.
19:49Do you need coaching to get out of bed in the morning?
19:51What?
19:51Forrest, nothing.
19:52How's Barb doing?
19:53Oh, my God.
19:54She's doing so good, Joanne.
19:55Yeah.
19:56Yeah, she's jingling, she's mingling, you know?
19:57Yeah.
19:58Kissing hands, shaking babies.
19:59I think, maybe, people's princess.
20:01Yeah, I gotta say, I think she's really killing it out there.
20:04Oh, big time.
20:05Coaching you guys is in my bones.
20:07I'm gonna get out there, I'm gonna see my girl in action.
20:10I wanna see her do Niagara Falls.
20:13Um, no.
20:14Joanne, actually, I think you should...
20:15Joanne, it's gonna stay...
20:16She's gonna fuck this up.
20:18So, I don't...
20:19Because they always take the money to run.
20:25Who knew?
20:26You were so funny.
20:28I knew.
20:28Shut up.
20:30You know, I should introduce you to my spinning structure.
20:33Oh, spinning?
20:33Yeah, I'm pretty good at spinning.
20:35I'm spinning around my office chair.
20:36You know what I mean?
20:37Hey, hey.
20:38Get out of here.
20:39Put it down.
20:40Put it away.
20:41Good class.
20:41It's making me thirsty just talking about it.
20:43It'll get so hot in there.
20:44You know what I mean?
20:45Hey, uh, give me, uh, water, sir.
20:47Barb.
20:48Barb.
20:49Oh, oh.
20:50It's Joanne.
20:50Yeah.
20:51Hey.
20:52Piece de resistance.
20:54What?
20:55Give me a book.
20:56Time for Niagara Falls.
20:57Oh, yeah.
20:58Okay.
20:58Okay.
20:59Showtime.
21:01Hey, uh, does anybody want to see my Niagara Falls impression?
21:05I do.
21:06You all aboard the maid on the map!
21:21Get out!
21:23Get out!
21:24Terrible advice, Joanne.
21:26Niagara Falls impression?
21:28See, this is what I get for listening to you idiots!
21:31Bob.
21:31Um, come and have a small pie.
21:35This is bad.
21:35I think you would enjoy it.
21:36It's got a little crispy finish.
21:38Rosemary.
21:38My Niagara Falls.
21:40Come on, man.
21:41That's advanced.
21:42That's my move.
21:43Listen.
21:44You don't have to pretend to be like the bro for us.
21:46The housewives don't like us because we go bro mode.
21:49They like us because we are real.
21:51You just have to be you.
21:54And what are you?
21:58I'm Barb Barbaretti.
22:00And I'm a bitch.
22:02That's right.
22:03Barb!
22:03Um, she's...
22:04Where is she?
22:06Not only are you not getting in my newsletter, but I'm gonna make sure that you lose your stupid campaign
22:14so badly that you're gonna wanna move to Ottawa!
22:19All right.
22:20Listen up, you wine-and-claw crazy-eyed new money freak.
22:24I am sorry about the chef thing.
22:27And I am sorry that I sprayed you with champagne.
22:29Okay?
22:30But I also know that you fucked Anne!
22:32You told her?!
22:33Having sex outside of marriage is very bad!
22:37So, here's what's gonna happen.
22:39We are gonna take the picture.
22:40And you will endorse me in your stinking newsletter.
22:42My whole campaign on the homepage.
22:45And if I don't?
22:46Oh, I'll tell your husband.
22:47That's right, that you had filthy booze crew sex with a hobbity bartender who smells bad.
22:52Shitty Anne!
22:53Okay.
22:54Take the photo, Anne!
22:55Oh, okay.
22:56Yeah, I got it.
22:57You booze crew screwed my mommy?!
23:00Uh, what was that, Tater Todd?
23:02Two weeks ago, Anne was having sex with me.
23:05What?
23:05You were having sex with me two weeks ago.
23:07What?
23:08You were having sex with us at the same time?
23:10What?
23:10You had a threesome with our son?
23:13That's bad.
23:14Tell him, Kim!
23:15He deserves to know.
23:18Not now, Beda.
23:21He's not your son.
23:24Oh!
23:25I told you that in confidence!
23:28You're dead to me, Barb!
23:29You're dead to me, Barb!
23:30No!
23:31Barb unlocked her inner Barb in a way that I never could've coaxed out of her.
23:37almost like she coached me to be a better coach.
23:42Mwah!
23:43Uh, anyway, we are proud of our girls.
23:46She sealed the deal!
23:47Oh!
23:48Wow!
23:49You're looking good!
23:50I'm gonna lie, you guys do look kinda cute together.
23:53Ugh!
23:53You know, I can't believe his mom is endorsing you guys as a couple.
23:56I can't believe she's endorsing Barb.
23:58Wow!
23:59Okay, so, uh, who would you rather?
24:02Taito Kim.
24:04Don't ask me that.
24:04GUNDIR HAT!
24:05Come on!
24:06GUNDIR HAT!
24:07GUNDIR HAT!
24:08GUNDIR HAT!
24:09GUNDIR HAT!
24:10GUNDIR HAT!
24:11GUNDIR HAT!
24:12GUNDIR HAT!
24:12GUNDIR HAT!
24:15GUNDIR HAT!
24:20GUNDIR HAT!
24:24GUNDIR HAT!
24:27GUNDIR HAT!
24:30GUNDIR HAT!
24:30GUNDIR HAT!
24:31GUNDIR HAT!
24:32GUNDIR HAT!
24:33GUNDIR HAT!
24:34GUNDIR HAT!
24:34GUNDIR HAT!