- 10 minutes ago
GQ’s Zach Baron sits down for a tête-à-tête with Ashley Padilla at the GQ offices in New York City. The Saturday Night Live star talks about finding her lane, working with the iconic Diane Keaton and landing the SNL gig after almost wanting to quit stand-up: “I was so scared, I felt like I wasn’t worthy.”
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00:00There's just a kind of a relentless positivity about you that I think is there's no other option there
00:06What is the other option to be in hell?
00:09Yeah, most of us live in hell all the time
00:13Oh, what's that?
00:26Ashley Padilla you are a rising star at SNL. It's your third season and already you lead the show in
00:33the made-up stats of sketches of Puritan and screen time
00:37Wow, we should talk about the people who chronicle that. Mm-hmm. You shot a movie this past summer
00:42Yes. Public Catch with Emma Stone and Chris Pine and today is Monday which I thought was your day off
00:49but is not in fact your day off
00:51Ashley, welcome to One More Question. Thanks for doing this. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. Yeah,
00:55I really did think Monday was your day off
00:56I think a lot of people think that. Yeah, we don't have to do a whole lot. We just pitch
01:01to the to the new host for the week
01:03What you told me was was done from the humiliating position of the it's humbling. Yeah, it's a humbling moment
01:09You're sitting on the floor and you're pitching and it's not gonna be good for me
01:15I'm not gonna say something that's gonna kill the room
01:19So you kind of just want to get through it
01:22You say your thing some pleasant smiles and then keep going
01:25Uh, I had I had this plan of how to start this interview and then we met ten minutes ago
01:31and I was like
01:32Zach you have a bad plan. What was the plan? We're just gonna do it anyway. Okay, so I
01:38I
01:38Now know I now know that this is just a terrible question, but
01:42On SNL you play a lot of loud awkward people. I'm sorry. Yeah, and I found myself wondering about the
01:48person I was gonna meet today
01:49You thought I was gonna come in crazy
01:53It's okay. I think I wondered at a distance
01:57How much of that was you? Wow
02:00Really? Yeah, uh-huh. Oh, what's it? What's that? No, I mean, I'm not that loud. I'm pretty quiet
02:06Yeah, to a fault
02:08Yeah, like I think people are like, oh, she's strange
02:12Like cuz I'm not talking a whole lot. I'm very quiet very introverted
02:16But then when I'm on the show I'm having so much fun
02:20So I get loud is there a part of your soul that is represented by that that sort of character
02:25that I might have just made up
02:27Yeah, you gonna go on Instagram
02:30Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's on Instagram. I have a I have a quote for you
02:33Just kidding
02:33Uh, this is this is a quote of yours. My form of comedy is like laugh at me. I'm an
02:38idiot
02:39Yeah, I think you use the word idiot in every interview you've ever done. Oh, I know
02:44That why why so? I find a new one. I'll find a new one. I well, you know what I
02:48will say
02:50I worked for Diane Keaton for a while and she always said idiot and I loved it and I think
02:55that a part of me has absorbed that
02:58way of self-deprecation because
03:02It's just the it's fun. It's fun to be like a fool
03:07because
03:08you're not taking on the pressure of
03:11Being perfect, which is impossible. So what if I just bailed on being perfect and I was like
03:18Well
03:19This is what you're gonna get kind of an idiot. I don't think I'm stupid
03:23But I think I'm funny
03:27Was there like a moment that you realize this where you're like, oh, I could I can do this
03:32This is this is the this is for a career
03:35No, the way I solve my personal dilemma of the way you put it trying to be perfect. Yeah
03:41No, I I don't I don't know if everyone walks around trying to be perfect
03:44Maybe not. I think I was always kind of hard on myself growing up that I was like I have
03:49to be
03:49Put together and like, I don't know where that comes from, but I think there's just
03:57A want to be some sort of like
04:03Composed and I think I just got tired after a while and was like, what if I stop that?
04:09It must have felt amazing to stop that. It feels amazing. Yeah, that desire impulse to
04:16Another way you put it to play dumb. Mm-hmm. Where do you think it comes from?
04:20I like being silly. Yeah, I like being funny. I think it
04:24It gives you a break
04:26from the world
04:29For a second to just have a good time and maybe relax and be like it's not so deep. Yeah
04:35It's not so important. It's gonna be okay. And that's why I like making fun of that
04:39Would you say you feel comfortable in your own skin?
04:43Yeah
04:44And yet you play these characters that feel like they would rip their skin off if they could
04:49Yeah
04:51Yeah, I love that. I love doing that. How come? Because I think that there's so many layers to that
04:58Emotion of like feeling uncomfortable. Mm-hmm. There's so much inner dialogue going on
05:04And like a lot of acting it takes a lot of like there's depth to it that I enjoy. I
05:10love acting. Yeah
05:11It's very acting based form of humor. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
05:15One way to talk about your comedy that I almost am certain that you don't feel is like she's satiricizing
05:22A certain white female obliviousness or whatever
05:26I'm almost positive. You don't think about it that way. I mean, I'll take that
05:30Okay, whatever anyone wants, you know, how do you think about it?
05:35The the baseline of what I do is so stupid. Yeah
05:40It's so dumb. Yeah
05:43That I find it funny
05:45I think it's so funny
05:47To be so dumb
05:50I find it hilarious. Yeah, yeah. No one's asked me to be smart here. Right with the comedy. Uh-huh
05:57So I'm trying to be as like silly as possible and light
06:01So you don't go in for like the theory of like it's this it's that you're like, I like that
06:05I like the anti-theory part of it
06:07I was thinking about this with this last show that you came to
06:11Yeah, yeah. Hey, thank you for that by the way
06:14Anytime perhaps wasn't my best
06:16Sketch i've ever done, but I had fun. Yeah, yeah, and you know who liked it my nephew who's seven
06:23years old
06:24We're facetiming. He's like then you said
06:27And then I was like, you are my audience, sir. Yeah, seven-year-old likes my stuff. I'll take it
06:33I have heard you say that you feel like
06:37Women are not well written for all the time. Which is why you kind of write your own stuff. Yeah
06:41In what way? I think it could be just some of the roles that i'm being like offered or you
06:47know
06:47Auditioning for i'll even get like kind of an intro of like this is a good one
06:53I'm like, okay
06:54Like a script? Yeah, and then it'll be like the girlfriend still or something and i'm like have we not
07:01met me?
07:02I'm the i'm the neighbor who's like acting crazy or i'm that you know what?
07:07I mean i'm i'm i'm a goof yeah, and so
07:11I don't know that maybe there just aren't many of those roles or or what but
07:16I just go i'm gonna write it for myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
07:19If there's not a goof in this world i'm gonna create one. Yeah, yeah, yeah
07:23Can we stay in the idiot dumb goof zone for a second? Yeah, so
07:27You know prepare for these kind of read what I can about you and listen to you talk and people
07:33ask you about your childhood and it
07:35I was like the word idiot comes up a lot in childhood the word that comes out a lot is
07:40annoying
07:40You're like I was annoying. Yeah people. Yeah
07:44I mean is that that can't be true. I
07:47I don't think it was anyone's fault or anything. I think I was just like
07:53loud didn't know what I wanted to do so
07:56Completely lacked focus
07:58That creates for an annoying person. Unfortunately, i'm just you know i'm i talk about being loud. I was loud
08:07And I think teachers were trying to teach
08:09Yeah, and and do class. Yeah, so that's a harsh way to judge yourself though
08:14I mean, I think it was just true unless we could start comedy school for children. Yeah, you know, they're
08:20gonna act like I just
08:22I couldn't sit and do the thing. Yeah, you said people were like exasperated when they saw you
08:27They were just like I think I had a teacher who was like i'm not today
08:30Yeah, for you so you're gonna go sit outside
08:33And I just sit out there because it's like
08:36And in those moments you're like yeah, this is me. That's good. Or are you like
08:40Sadly as a kid
08:41I think it did take a toll because I didn't know comedy was an option. Yeah, so of course you're
08:47like I guess I suck
08:49In this world, you know, but now i'm like, oh, okay, of course I was a creative
08:54Yeah, but there was no one saying like maybe you're a creative until my mother did when I was like
08:5918. Yeah, and did you believe her?
09:02I think I was like i'll try because there's nothing else for me on this planet
09:09If it's not this so if this doesn't work out geez
09:12We're screwed. That's really your internal monologue when you're 18 years old
09:16I think it was desperation of like all right. I'll try something because I can't do the school thing
09:21So
09:22I'll do this. Yeah, I mean there's a nice element of this thing that
09:27Is is not working in other elements of your life and then becomes this sort of superpower for you. Totally.
09:32Yeah. Yeah
09:33Yeah, and
09:34Is that 18 when you discover that or when do you kind of figure that out? I think it was
09:3820 because at 18 I
09:40I tried school for a week in college dropped out felt like a loser
09:47And at the time, you know, we're in a different time now
09:49Like I think people are much more liberated not to go to college sure like there's more
09:54I wasn't on instagram. I don't think like seeing other people do this or like I didn't know this was
09:59an option
10:00Yeah, so I just saw other people going to college and I'm going I I suck
10:07Oh my god, and that is bad, you know, yeah inner dialogue, but it was the truth
10:12I didn't have an example
10:14So I went and worked at sephora and they were so wonderful and taught me makeup and all that stuff,
10:19but
10:20Then I was unhappy there. So then i'm going ashley you jerk. Why can't you be happy?
10:27This is the life
10:29Hey, you can you know pay for an apartment. How cool, you know, you're working your way up at this
10:34place
10:34What what is wrong with you that you can't accept this?
10:37But there's just a voice in me that was like I am not happy. I am sad
10:43and my mom saw that and
10:45How cool of her to go like it could be this isn't for you right right right this life this
10:51yeah
10:52Yeah, you moved to la when you're 20. I believe yes in 14. Yep
10:58Did you move to do comedy?
11:02Yes, and no I I know I went to a party there for new years
11:07and I'm in this girl's apartment going
11:11Your living room has no furniture. Can I come live here? She's like sure you pay rent like okay 300
11:18bucks or something. Yeah, sure
11:21Quit my job
11:22Quit I said could I go work at the sephora? Maybe you guys can transfer me
11:26You know, there was a plan b there of like a cushion of like in case this doesn't work out
11:30My mom's like that's where that comedy school. I googled
11:33Is you see be go do it and
11:38I'm just so lucky every
11:41Everything is like a series of lucky
11:45Fucking am I allowed to say fuck on this? No way. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah
11:49Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah
11:51Is there any answers you want to redo? Yeah, let's read let's take it back
11:55Bunch of f-bombs. I got because I feel so passionate about this. It is luck. It's luck
12:02Well, you say luck, but you get there in 2014 and you basically what it's like eight years of of
12:07kind of
12:08Eight years of lucky moments. I'm telling you
12:11Well, I mean one of those things you you mentioned before you're working for Diane Keaton at some point
12:15Um, well, first of all, what was that like? What was that like? Yeah, first of all? What was that?
12:22She's incredible
12:25She's so cool. She is the coolest was the coolest like
12:30taught me more than
12:32For me college ever could
12:35Just watching her be in the world
12:37How she moves around the world. Yeah, there
12:41Is a moment if I understand correctly
12:44Where you're not super familiar with some of the films and she's like go watch Annie hall. Yeah, go watch
12:49the godfather. Yeah
12:51And you go home and watch these films. Yeah, so when you come back to work the next day, you're
12:55like I watched Annie hall
12:56Are you like reviewing the film to her like what are you saying? I do remember she was like, what'd
13:01you think?
13:03I think I said something so stupid because I was trying to be smart or something
13:07I was like, you know, the second one I hear is what I thought about the second one and godfather
13:11and stuff
13:12I don't know that she retained anything. I was saying she's probably like okay little girl like
13:17Why was she listening to me? But it it was she never made me feel like that at all
13:21She was just very like what did you think? Oh, did you like that? And you know
13:25And I just remembered thinking she was so charming in all of those. Yes
13:29Yeah, even though you're like I think two might be better than one
13:31I think I thought one was better than two and I've heard that people think two is better than one
13:36Yeah, so I remember being I was I felt wrong about that. Okay, okay
13:40Isn't that that's like a thing people think the second yeah, but I'm I disagree
13:46I'm I might be with but I was also so new to it. Yeah, I might be incredible
13:51You were talking about there's a lucky time in your life, but if I understand correctly you're there for
13:55You almost you almost tap out you almost leave right you probably a hundred times. Yeah, okay. Yeah
14:01And why why almost leave I almost quit because it's hard
14:07It's so hard
14:09It is insane to me
14:12That I am employed as a comedian
14:19How how I am waiting for someone to come out and go it's not true
14:24You're wrong. This was wrong. This was fake because it doesn't make sense
14:29I'm that lucky. It's crazy
14:32How many people get to do it? I wonder what the stats are on that of like
14:37How many people are being paid to be funny?
14:40Very few. It's crazy. Very few. So
14:43To get there takes a lot of
14:47Um, but moments where you almost quit and don't
14:50Yeah, those moments are like, you know when you're broke and you're like
14:55I'm doing fart bits on a stage somewhere in the middle of hollywood
15:01You okay ashley you think this is gonna work out?
15:04We're gonna keep going. Okay, you know, it's like
15:07Okay, but it's that it's that voice. It's that thing in you which I don't know what that is
15:13That's going like I think I can do this and that's crazy
15:17And then it's the lucky moments. It's the moment of walking down melrose and like
15:23Literally saying to myself
15:25I'm not happy like i'm not making it. I don't I don't have money like what am I doing?
15:30And then a car drives by
15:33Where the girl rolls down the window and says I love you at the ground
15:36You're gonna be on tv in that moment
15:40It's just like it's like bigger than you, you know where you're just like
15:44Thank you for that. Yeah, you're like I literally just got a sign from the universe that actually was a
15:50sign thing
15:50That you read about in books or in movies happened to me
15:53You're truly like okay, and I'm back to class back to class going. Okay, thank you
15:59I'm not doing this in a vacuum. I'm not doing this alone
16:02There are people who are responding to what i'm doing in the crowd and people like this
16:08There's not a total delusion. Yeah, you know, yeah
16:12What would you have done if you quit do you ever think about what that life would have been of
16:15course when I when I was fully
16:18Gonna tap out and genuinely okay with it because those other times you're like I don't feel good
16:23And then you like go back to class
16:25This last time was genuine this last time was going i've done everything I could it's been great
16:32What a great 10 years. I think i'm gonna say goodbye
16:35It was because i'd made a book with diane and and we had a success with it and I liked
16:41it and
16:43It showed me other parts of myself that I was really um empowered by yeah, you know, I was like
16:48i'm smart
16:49I can design I can write like
16:52See ya i'm not doing this anymore
16:54And it's funny because I want to take those elements now into
16:59The parts of my life in the future like I want to design and make books and and write and
17:05and make movies and
17:07i'm very visual and
17:10All those things maybe wouldn't have been awoken in me had we not gone down the road of the of
17:14the book
17:15Yeah, you know at the end of this period you can audition at snl. Mm-hmm. Do you remember what
17:21you did to get the job?
17:22Yes, I told my manager I said I you know, I think i'm gonna call it
17:27Quits at the groundlings I don't I don't feel like i'm contributing anymore like
17:32I don't know what else to do i'm kind of like at my end of
17:36What i'm gonna like this is pretty much it like take it or leave it
17:40This is kind of what i'm doing she was like, let me you know put together a show where it's
17:44all your best stuff
17:45she's just so smart naomi odenkirk and
17:47She did that with my friends alex bonnifer and chris kleckner
17:50We did a show called party of three and I don't know how snl heard about this, but they did
17:55Someone over there heard about this show
17:57My name made its way and I couldn't believe it
18:00And they said they my manager said they want to see you. Yeah, there are people
18:05Who are pointed like an arrow at snl who have kind of like know all the lore?
18:11Yeah studied all the the texts yeah, and are kind of doing everything in their power to was that you
18:17in any way?
18:18No, that was not me to be completely honest
18:20I am such a fan of the show and a fan of all the people from the show, but it
18:24was never
18:26The only thing
18:28I think I always maybe I think I just didn't know it was possible
18:32Because it's such it's such a massive
18:35It's a it's a giant
18:38Right in our field of sketch comedy. I don't think there was another option really like mad tv came back
18:43and went
18:44But like there weren't a whole lot of
18:46Options for the medium of sketch to only be shooting for that when everyone is it just felt a little
18:53like impossible
18:55Maybe so I think that's why I wasn't really focused on it
18:58But then you find yourself in a room
19:00Auditioning for the show
19:02Do you like like are you allowed to talk about what you do in that moment? Like what what do
19:06you what are you showcasing?
19:07What are you showing them?
19:08Yeah, yeah, I I did
19:11A lot of my best stuff at the groundlings and it's like how do we condense this into a five
19:17minutes
19:19And I also sent in a packet and watched a lot of the show
19:23I just kept watching a lot of their pre tapes and just studied it and made a packet based on
19:29that
19:29I made sure I did everything I could I left no stone unturned. I I
19:34I gave it my best and then it worked out like
19:38You know streeter sidell give him a little shout out love that guy
19:41We had a meeting before my lauren meeting and he was like we're gonna hire you as a writer if
19:45you if you don't get cast
19:46So unless you get cast, you know, we'd like to so I felt like all right. I got a job
19:51here. I feel happy
19:52I'm happy doing that and then when I was told I was cast I was so scared
19:56Really? Oh, yeah. Why? Because I feared everyone thinking I was a monster on
20:05camera
20:06I was like, but you have been performing. I know but I had not been on
20:11I don't know what it was like being on tv. I felt like I wasn't worthy or something. I don't
20:16know
20:16I felt a little like this isn't right. This is so crazy. How long did that feeling last for? I
20:23think a little bit
20:25And then I started to kind of fall in love with myself a little bit on tv
20:30I was like hey, I'm not so bad on there. You know what I mean? Like I was like, I
20:33don't look crazy
20:35That face isn't too bad
20:38That's such a lovely falling in love with yourself on tv is a lovely way of putting it
20:42Yeah, yeah, I started to really love myself, but it is I do attest that to tom broker
20:48If you're still here, he's gonna be he's gonna be like stop talking about the other side
20:53Seeing people fall in love with me and be like, oh, this would look good on you and vote and
20:56like collaborating and be like
20:57Oh, yeah, you know, I think I want to cut my hair and just like taking care of myself and
21:01and being like, yeah
21:02Maybe I can do this. I'm not
21:05Totally incapable so you get the job you have to do this thing that people do in movies, which is
21:10like
21:12Move coasts in like what like three four or five days before I think it was like four days four
21:15days
21:16What are you feeling in those moments when you're kind of like living that like montage in a in a
21:21movie kind of thing?
21:22Maybe it didn't feel that way at all. I don't know
21:24No, it was so real
21:25It was it's so fast that you're almost trying to keep up and like logistically make it make sense
21:31Like you're like where am I gonna live like so you can't get too excited yet because you're like
21:36I have to pack and nothing is more unfun
21:40Than packing nothing's less glamorous than being like what do I take it coincided with
21:48The book in a way that was another
21:52Frightening like sign from the universe my book with diane came out
21:57The day I was testing for a second time at the show
22:03I think it came out on the fifth of
22:07September it must have been
22:09and
22:11I
22:11Ran over because I was supposed to go and look at the book with diane out in stores on the
22:16day
22:17It came out go to a barnes and noble like go do all this stuff go to book soup in
22:20la
22:21And there I was in new york and I said or i'll run over to fifth avenue barnes and noble
22:25and they're in the window
22:28I have photos of it. It feels insane to even like remember it, but it was just a giant
22:35Blow up. I could cry. It's like crazy blow up
22:40Cover that I made i'm so sorry
22:43That's so crazy. I'm not expecting that i'm so sorry
22:48I just couldn't believe it
22:50It was so beautiful
22:55This this book
23:03with her and
23:04And there it was and i'm standing there like about to audition for snl and
23:13This book was so hard to do
23:16Because i've never made a book before and I
23:20Never felt like I could do anything like that
23:24And it tested me in many ways
23:28Because I couldn't believe she believed in me
23:31And I designed this thing
23:33I put the font I did her shot I gave her options I like
23:39I just
23:42Obsessed over this thing and there I was releasing it, you know, and it was blown up in a way
23:48I got to show you the picture blown up
23:51Gigantic in the window on fifth avenue
23:53I didn't want to interrupt you because it was so amazing. Do you want to take a moment? Oh, no,
23:57I'm who cares?
23:59All right
24:00I appreciate that. You're so sweet. I'm sorry about it
24:03It's a it's an amazing moment
24:05It's funny how it's more emotional than getting the show even because
24:09The show is an accumulation, you know of of and it's so beautiful being on the show. I'm the luckiest
24:14person in the world
24:17But
24:20Something about making a book
24:22For a girl who failed high school. I mean
24:30Like really
24:32Fudged it up
24:35It was bad. I was bad at school
24:38And there I am
24:40It published like yeah, you know my name's in that thing
24:45So I was so proud and I and just like holy shit and I I it was like saying goodbye
24:51to that phase of my life
24:53Standing in the window and they had this figure like this mannequin holding my book
24:58And I was like and I went in and I bought a couple and
25:03Went back and was like, okay now
25:06Let's do your set where you
25:09Fart
25:13Okay, what's it like to be new at SNL?
25:18It's incredible
25:20It's incredible. I mean, it's
25:22It's so much fun
25:25That I'm shocked what we're all capable of in a week's time
25:30Because I'm having a ball
25:33But what we're doing is pretty remarkable
25:35I think someone else's answer might be it's intimidating or it's competitive
25:39You you felt none of that no, I I sketch is such a collaborative
25:45Medium like our job is to work together like stand-up isn't timid
25:49That's where I would be like. Oh my god
25:51Like that's intimidating because you're you're solo out there, but sketch it's like
25:55I have the best of the best around me like i'm i'm in pretty good shape
26:00And that's the way you felt
26:02At the time yeah, i'm with kenan thompson
26:04Like i'm with mikey day i'm with sarah sherman like i'm like
26:09i'm with tom broker
26:11every department
26:13Is amazing at their job how can we fail
26:18It's really not up to me like we're all we're all kicking ass like every week we are doing it
26:23as a team so it feels
26:25I'm in such good hands that I don't I don't see how I could fail your first
26:28Season is the 50th
26:31Anniversary right yeah in retrospect what was the sort of most surreal or atypical because that was such a strange
26:37season of
26:38SNL yeah, that was intimidating when you go back and look at it was like
26:43Oh this day that I showed up and I didn't even know how how atypical this was or it was
26:48also very different
26:49Because it's not how the show is
26:52Heidi gardner had leaned over me she's like this is not normal that dana carvey's at the table
26:58You know what I mean?
26:59Yeah, like that maya rudolph is like that that so many alum are coming back and doing cameos
27:05So it did feel a little more intimidating than a usual season so then when I got my when I
27:10did the next season for myself
27:13That was like okay now we can kind of have a little fun because there's not this pressure to
27:18You know be nostalgic and and and honor so many years of where you're like
27:23I don't want to intrude on that, you know with my
27:25Agenda or my bits or whatever, you know, I don't need to be doing that
27:29So you start at I guess 30
27:33Ish yeah, is that that's a little on the older side to be starting it am I right about that
27:38or no?
27:38You are correct
27:39Do you feel like you that was a maybe a
27:42Something helpful like I'm a little bit more fully formed. I'm a little bit more baked as a person or
27:46a comedian
27:47For myself, I mean there's others there who are totally prepared and fabulous at the job at their age and
27:55they're they're young
27:56Yeah, I mean, I don't know how old cam and marcello are but they're they're young and same with jane
28:01and they are
28:03So good at the job and so prepared. I was not that way at that age
28:08Like I don't it's we're just different. Everyone's different, you know, everyone's ready for something in a different time
28:13You were kind enough to to invite me on saturday night, so I got to I got to go for
28:18the first time
28:19I'm so glad and I was I was sitting there I was talking to a friend about I think about
28:24a year ago
28:25I had a conversation with stephen colbert
28:27And he'd been he'd been fired does late night does a show like colbert's
28:32Make sense in it was 2025 at the time we had this conversation. Yeah, and I was watching the kind
28:40of beautiful
28:41Chaos production of snl and feeling very sentimental about it. Mm-hmm, but also being like
28:49I wonder the same thing, you know, because that because I was like I could see some
28:53And I'm not trying to put you in a bad position
28:55Someone at mbc especially after like lauren goes just being like we don't need to do this anymore. We're good
29:00Yeah cultures moved on people like watch youtube clips
29:03Anyway, I wonder like when you when you show up and when you guys do this every saturday night
29:08Does it still feel to you like it makes sense like it should exist? I don't know
29:12I guess I don't really think about it too often having too much fun. I'm
29:19Maybe so consumed by it. I'm not really I can't imagine a world without it
29:23So i'm like because it's been around my whole life
29:27so
29:29I really can't imagine a world with without it and I think it does such a good job of like
29:33commenting on
29:35everything that
29:37I think it's important for that every week
29:40You know what I mean to tune in and know that it's going to be about the times and we're
29:43going to talk about what's going on and like weekend update and the cold opens and
29:48I think it's kind of comforting. I also love live
29:52For me, it's like when the emmys are on or like because obviously i'm on the show
29:55So i'm not watching at home, but like I love tuning in and something's happening live
30:00It makes me feel cozy and like like when the super bowl's on or something like, you know what I
30:04mean?
30:05So it's like we're all watching something together
30:07It excites me so i'd hate to lose that
30:11Yeah, I think and you and I were talking about this uh before we started rolling about the journalism version
30:16of this of like, okay
30:18My background is as a writer
30:20Sometimes I was like I was putting out written pieces in the world
30:22I'm not sure if they were getting read and kind of ending up and partially
30:26Ending up in these chairs for that reason and there's a question of like
30:30Do you feel like when you when you guys make this thing on saturday night?
30:34Do you still feel like the audience is there?
30:36You're still connecting with a group of people who are hungry and waiting for this thing. I
30:42I like to think so I mean
30:45I'm such a live performer
30:47Like i'm so in the moment when i'm there that i'm feeding off the crowd in the room
30:51So i'm less going like is everyone hat like how many people are watching? You know what?
30:56I mean i'm like i'm focused on like what is happening right there so in that moment?
31:00It's like place is packed yeah people these tickets are you know hard to get people are waiting out there
31:06for the show
31:07it's like
31:09They want they want it there, you know, so I I don't know
31:12I'm not sure the viewership or what's going on with all that, but
31:17It seems like something people want
31:19I I I yeah, I agree. I think it's just you kind of I think sometimes when you're making something
31:24you can tell like oh, yeah
31:25Yeah, there's there's someone at the other end of the phone and sometimes you can tell when there isn't yeah
31:29Yeah, I mean it's hard because you know some of the comments are not so nice. I don't really know
31:34You're not you're not try to ignore it. You're not sometimes it's kind of hard not to really oh, yeah
31:39Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then you go why did I read that?
31:43Did I need to know that opinion of that person right then and there? Yeah, why did you read that?
31:48I don't know. It's an illness. I think I think we all to have it where we're like, what did
31:52everyone think?
31:53It's like we want to know our work is translating. Yes
31:56But do we want to know when it's not?
31:59I don't know
32:02You want to know when it's translating what's not you don't want to know what some random person thinks about
32:08whether
32:08Yeah, and like the yeah, and I do think there's a lot of
32:13It's like it's like watching playback or something like it's like it's like
32:16I do want to know when I'm doing well and like and what I can do better and all that
32:20stuff
32:20So it does help you're an interesting interview subject in the sense of
32:24You bawled your eyes out. No, uh, not the first person that
32:28God
32:28Colbert yeah, he wept
32:30But I was saying about you
32:34Interesting interview subject in the sense of there's not a ton out there about you
32:39You know beyond beyond the work
32:41Which is actually somewhat atypical in this day and age. Is that a conscious choice?
32:48Is that deliberate on your part?
32:50I don't really understand the impulse doesn't feel like we used to do that
32:54It feels like a very new school thing to do
32:57To share every I don't know i'm just not interested in it. Yeah, well i've heard you say like like
33:03you were you're talking to amy
33:04Polo the other week and you're like i'm scary boring you don't seem scary boring to me
33:08You'd be shocked it would scare you what what's an example of scary boring okay last night eating salmon
33:15Doing laundry
33:19Pajamas a beanie
33:23Cleaning my house like it's just you know, I mean like you're just like
33:26There's something like I think there's this like
33:30Understanding or something or or impression that like if you're on tv you must have some sort of like wow
33:36They must just be doing so it's like I am so deeply boring and I enjoy it
33:43I heard you tell amy that you got arrested when you're a teenager. That's not boring
33:46That girl's gone. She's gone. She went somewhere. She's gone. That girl's gone. She's in jail
33:52That girl's in jail. She never came out. She went in. She never came out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's gone
34:00The other thing I think I
34:02Have observed but don't know for sure and it's even been apparent in this conversation is
34:07There's just a kind of a relentless positivity about you that I think is
34:11There's no other option
34:13No, well, tell me more about that there. What is the other option to be in hell?
34:18Yeah, most of us for why I live in hell all the time
34:23What's that?
34:27Why do you want to have fun?
34:29Everyone wants to have fun and actually lives in hell except for you picture picture
34:34People forget we are not here for long
34:38What the hell I'm gonna be in earth
34:43I want to shake people sometimes get over it
34:51Stop being mad
34:53At the car that cut you off or what I don't know. I don't know doesn't mean life's not hard
34:59Trust me, but like i'd like to wake up and go god. This coffee's delicious
35:05Dang my my pajamas are cozy. You don't even like I have relentless gratitude
35:11She's natural. I was gonna say does that does that come easily because that is one of those sort of
35:17like
35:18Sounds good when someone says it hard to actually live it. Of course. It's a choice that you make, right?
35:25I just did it the other day
35:28Okay, I did it yesterday
35:30I always want to do well on the show and if something doesn't go so hot or something
35:34I do tend to like go oh dang it have I messed up and then I found myself moping about
35:40it a little bit yesterday
35:42Fine, let me just get oh god, and then I was like hey
35:46Stop who cares? Let it go. Are we done?
35:50Okay, go to your laundry stop because you're choosing to sit and shit
35:57Yeah, do you know what I mean? Like I have to police myself a little bit of like oh my
36:01god. I love my life
36:02I'm so lucky like we're gonna be fine. Do a better one next week like get over it
36:07I forgot a question earlier and spiraled for like five minutes. So I know did I spy I probably got
36:12us off thick rails
36:12No, no, I forgot the question and I was just like I was like, oh, no, I have to walk
36:16into the ocean now
36:17So I have to did you you felt like you spiraled yeah, right? We get in these like patterns of
36:24like
36:25Who cares?
36:26Because truth is I don't care that you did that. I think you're fantastic
36:31Do you know what I do?
36:33No, I'll give you the comments you want
36:37No, please no, but truly like I think you're so great. So what is the problem?
36:44It's our own shit. It's our own stuff, right?
36:48I'm always doing it
36:50I'm always kicking my own ass and then having to really stop and go what's the issue here?
36:55Why are you being mean to yourself? What's going on?
36:58Oh, you want juice? Are you hungry?
37:01Do you need water?
37:03It's like sometimes it's really simple. Yeah
37:05Oh, you're tired. Do you need like a nap? Like do you want some food? Like it's okay
37:11But it's getting yourself off that negative train of thought that I think could help at least myself
37:18Yeah, well, you seem uniquely honestly uniquely gifted at it
37:22It's practice
37:24And being open about it and talking about what's hurting you like
37:29I've gotten in the habit of being like i'm not gonna let this stew what what's going on?
37:33Let's talk, you know with anybody when people
37:36Are good at this stuff? I always wonder like where they always get it. Did they discover it in some
37:40moment?
37:41You know
37:42What's the answer for you? I think I just slowly saw the effects of just being honest
37:48And how no one's actually going to be upset if you say like I can't do that today
37:55I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm not able to be the thing we all thought today or whatever and just kind of
38:00releasing that pressure of being perfect
38:02Like we talked about yep, because it's not gonna work out and then adjusting your sketch might bomb
38:08It will you know, okay moving on right and not tying it to your self-worth
38:14Does not mean you are bad
38:16Totally you can make mistakes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then get them on the next one or whatever. Yeah, let's
38:21go and also probably believe it or not
38:24No one's thinking about you
38:26No one cares. That's the most profound one. Yeah, no one cares funny setup for my next question. Okay
38:32You are to use a terrible cliche
38:36Having a moment. I don't know how else to put it. I feel like people are noticing your third season
38:41on the show
38:42It's gone great the entire time, but you can kind of feel when like culture discovers somebody for lack of
38:49a better word
38:50All of a sudden people are like, oh, Ashley
38:54What is your experience of this right now? I guess I also wonder why
38:58To be fair, I asked about your experience not not why it was happening. Oh
39:03You're like
39:05Why do people like you?
39:05I'd love to know
39:06Although I would actually you know what I would love to hear answer that question
39:09No, I am just like really every I swear to god every time someone's like
39:15That was good. I'm like really I just am like happy to be there. So I'm like doing the best
39:21I can
39:22What is it? What do I say to myself? Do your best no more no less say that's it
39:28Just do your just you know what I mean? I'm never trying to be more than anything. I think I
39:33can be
39:35and
39:35perhaps
39:37it's just working because
39:39I don't know
39:40And what is the subjective experience of that of like that kind of like gathering
39:46Attention or energy at the at the wings at the edges of a life. How does that feel?
39:53It feels all right as long as i'm like being genuine and i'm not like
39:58Yeah, you like that's good like what that could you imagine?
40:01Yeah, you like that sketchy like whoa
40:04as long as i'm never going into that territory of like yeah, like
40:08Believing your own hype or I don't know like just like let it go. I don't know. I'm shocked that
40:14any of it's really
40:15I just like doing the work. Yeah, as long as I can continue to do the work. I'm i'm good
40:19I'm gonna take my phone out again. I'm not
40:21Do it. I'm gonna call someone
40:22Yeah, I'm just not gonna call someone
40:26There was this great article by the the sort of great critic jason cinnamon in the new york times about
40:31your work
40:32Are you familiar with what i'm talking about? Yes. Yes. He wrote sort of very
40:35Nicely about your work and he he coined something, uh, he called the the pedia pause. Are you are you
40:41from you're familiar with what i'm talking
40:43What really distinguishes her i'm quoting jason right now is finally honed timing
40:49specifically a virtuosic deployment of the pregnant pause
40:53Hmm your response my response
40:56I disagree
41:00I
41:01I
41:02Think that that's very kind. I mean i'm you know
41:05Do you recognize your your work in that?
41:08I love that because it's about the work. I love the work. I love the work
41:13Can't wait to get back to the work. I love it
41:16Like that's why I like being on the show. I love it when people do it. Well, they studied you
41:22know, we like it with anything
41:24Athletes training and being the best at what they do. It's like I love that shit. I love it
41:29I want to work hard and I want to get better at what i'm doing all the time
41:33I don't even think i'm there with sketch like i'd like to get better at it and try to hone
41:37it even more and like
41:40Find different ways and different angles at the at the medium that i've been doing for over a decade now
41:46You know, like I just love it. It's nice to know that you know, the work is being recognized the
41:51craft
41:52behind
41:54The pause you were just talking about it
41:56I actually love hearing people who are really good at doing something talk about how they do it
42:00I don't want you to like ruin a magic trick
42:03But I'm curious
42:04There's nothing
42:07Like is there an art to that? What is the art to that?
42:11You know, it's funny. I feel like I actually missed missed the mark on it the past couple shows
42:17Because I've been so, you know busy in the summer. Oh, I now i'm back and i'm i'm hearing the
42:23audience again
42:24It's because I i'm not doing shows live in the summer
42:27So this is my first time being back
42:30And being in front of a crowd and being like, oh, right
42:32I gotta slow down a little bit and like gotta so i'm finding it again and like that tune of
42:36it and just like
42:37Oh, yeah, we can we can chill you can you can like relax. You don't gotta
42:42Get like let's chill. So i'm excited to find that like
42:46Me and allison and kent have some plans that we want to we're like, oh, let's bring back blah blah
42:50blah and let's oh, let's
42:51Let's do that idea. We were thinking of so that we can get quiet and like
42:56Study it again
42:57Study what's making something funny and kind of relearn because we haven't i haven't been in front of a crap
43:02And it's interesting to hear you say that like the first couple of times it was like oh
43:06It's actually hard to find that time again. Yeah
43:09Like I had this instinct last shows. I want to get loud. I want energy. Why you were so annoying.
43:14Let's do
43:15Let's turn it down a little bit. Let's turn it down
43:17Like just finding levels and seeing what works for you and also it does depend on you know
43:24Who's at the show and what you want to do with them and all that stuff
43:27I'm not the authority and we've only just met each other, but you know, you're not annoying, right?
43:31That's very sweet. That's very sweet
43:34When I get the note like
43:36You can bring it down from 100
43:38You know in between dress and air like
43:41What are these things look like on?
43:43The page the the kind of ones that are so because it's very performance dependent, right?
43:49Totally
43:50So is like is it funny on the page?
43:52Either i've heard melissa mccarthy talking about this or i've heard people talk about melissa mccarthy at the groundlings
43:57and I related to it so much which is like
44:01She used to have sketches where on the page like what the hell if you turned it in it would
44:05be like uh, no
44:06But then you see her perform it and it's extended and like something that says okay might be something totally
44:12different
44:13Just like I like it had I submitted that to you. You're like, I don't get it
44:17You're just gonna say you like it over and over
44:18But it's the it's the it's the levels of how you're saying it
44:23It's so performance based
44:25And i'm like that with all my writing of like
44:27How do I want to perform this piece like the two are so linked?
44:33It's not joke writing on my end. It's more like how do I want it to to live and breathe
44:39Do you feel like at this point everyone say snl understands like okay? Yeah, ashley wrote this and I think
44:45so
44:46I think so
44:49But they're not always gonna hit at table, you know, they might be like she'll make this work and then
44:54I don't they're like, okay
44:55But I do think that after a while you understand what everyone's gonna
45:01Like I feel like I could even now know what andrew dismukes if he showed me something i'm like, okay
45:05I know that you're gonna, you know, yeah
45:07Yeah, I know how it's been on this
45:22I'm not saying like leave snl I'm saying like like okay. I had this moment if I ask for something
45:30right now
45:31I might get it. You know what do you think about that? Like oh, how can I how can I
45:35use this?
45:36What do I want to do with it?
45:37I don't think I'm like trying to capitalize on anything
45:39necessarily I'm more just going with my natural instincts
45:44which is I want to make movies and
45:47Write movies and so last summer I wrote a movie, you know, it's just it was it's a natural just
45:53like
45:54Curiosity and and instinct
45:58To live in something a little longer and stretch something out like a story like a film
46:03Was the movie you shot this summer your your first like a studio movie?
46:06That was my first time being in something. Yeah, what was that? What's it like for you?
46:10It's so cool. I mean god, I was with Emily stone
46:13Like I was like literally across from one of the greatest actresses of all time
46:19so that was
46:22surreal to just give and take with
46:26a performer like that
46:28Oscar winning like it was very cool to see that up close and and get to be in a scene
46:33with her. Yeah
46:33And same with Chris Fleming phenomenal actor. Yeah
46:38Amazing stand-up, but like wow like people are gonna really love what he brings to the table. Yeah for
46:44you
46:44Did acting feel somehow different than than doing sketch or did it feel basically in the same?
46:50It felt in the same it felt totally natural and like it was honestly shocking to myself. I was like
46:54god, I love this
46:56I love doing this. I love it. I love being in a scene. I love performing. I love
47:02I love like
47:04The back and forth yeah with an actor. I just love it. It's so fun. There are people
47:09Who come to SNL and it's kind of a waste issue into somewhere else?
47:13I don't say that in a derogatory way, but they're they're there two years three years or whatever on their
47:17journey elsewhere
47:18And then there are people who are like this is my home. Yeah, and I'm here forever
47:22Do you have a sense yet of kind of which category you might fall into?
47:26I really don't know yeah, I have no idea I feel like i'm still figuring it out and like
47:31Being a part of the team and and just wanting to be there like yes
47:35I was there at the 50th, but I feel like I didn't get to actually start putting my stuff out
47:39until last year
47:41And rightfully so you know it took a second and so I feel like i'm just getting started and I
47:45want to have some fun and
47:48Who knows how long that'll that'll be for you know or how long they'll have me
47:55Yeah, are you nervous about that? I don't I don't think I think i'm just not i'm not
48:00Cocky, I don't think I can't be replaced like i'm like no like we're always moving and you got to
48:05keep going
48:06It's a machine and you got to keep going and and participate and contribute. Ashley. Thank you so much for
48:11doing. Thank you
48:13I'm sorry. I cried
48:15Seriously position that I put you in no
48:18Why? I mean it's better. It's better when it's um
48:23Not crying toward you not something you
48:26That would be horrible ability to be
48:31Uh, like honest about what one is feelings
48:34Yeah, it's a quality. I actually quite admire. I'm glad you know what I'm saying shocking when it happens to
48:39you. You're like, oh my god, we're crying
48:41Oh, I wasn't sure. Oh my god, we're crying. I wasn't shocked. I wasn't shocked