00:02You give me a choice of anything, I'm going goat's tongue every time.
00:04I've never had goat's tongue before.
00:07I can't believe you've never had a goat's tongue.
00:09I didn't know people ate goat's tongue.
00:11Well, it's because they like to be taken out of their comfort zone when they eat food, which is really
00:15the point of it.
00:15Yeah, I'm definitely uncomfortable.
00:17I mean, but that's real Thai food for you.
00:19Yeah, and I'm really spilling out of this dress right now.
00:23It's so rewarding to be able to take you to authentic eateries. I can't tell you.
00:27Yeah, and who am I to deprive you of that pleasure?
00:31Hey, updated itinerary. Tomorrow night, my buddy is a sommelier at Barnyard.
00:35Well, I thought it was my turn to pick, but you know what?
00:38As long as I have a milkshake and fries, I'm cool.
00:42You don't want to put that garbage in your body.
00:44You literally have to know someone to get in there.
00:47So, I called in my chit.
00:49You called in your chit just for little old me?
00:51I did. Do you know why?
00:52Why?
00:53Because I have now deemed you chit-worthy.
01:09He pays for things?
01:11He insists on it.
01:12Ugh.
01:13See, men and women have different love languages.
01:15Men have to pay for things.
01:17They pick up the bill.
01:17It makes them feel manly, like they're taking care of you.
01:20You cannot rob them of that.
01:21They would feel emasculated.
01:23Look, there's absolutely no science to that.
01:25Alright, do you know how many times I've skipped out on the bill and I still feel like a man?
01:29How is it your douchebaggery still surprises me?
01:33What? All I'm saying is if I'm not getting any woman candy, why should I have to pay for your
01:36$17 Cobb salad?
01:38Aren't you happy you have a real man?
01:40Yes.
01:40See, she has a mature man.
01:42A man who has multiple credit cards.
01:44A man who has a respectable career.
01:47A man who takes her places.
01:48He pays for things.
01:50In fact, he's probably been on a yacht.
01:52Probably.
01:53What is he, like 60?
01:5438 actually.
01:56Either way, get ready for his broken hips.
01:57Sounds like fun.
01:58It is.
01:59Well, there is one thing.
02:01Get masks.
02:02He's just kind of set in his ways.
02:05Well, he should be.
02:07He grew up during the depression.
02:10You've really never seen Schindler's List?
02:13It's easily my favorite movie.
02:14I keep meaning to.
02:15It's just, it seems intense, you know?
02:19It is intense.
02:20It's history.
02:21You know, it happened.
02:23I have an idea.
02:25Oh my gosh, you're gonna love this.
02:26Hang on.
02:28What is this?
02:29Siddhartha?
02:30Yeah.
02:30Remedial Buddhism?
02:31I should loan you a copy of Thus Spoke Zarathustra.
02:34That would be good to read for you.
02:36Yeah, I'll do that.
02:37Pick a card.
02:38Any card.
02:40Okay, you're trying to divert my attention.
02:42Yeah.
02:42But it's not gonna work.
02:44We have to watch this masterpiece.
02:46Okay, I just have a hard time watching movies about horrible things.
02:51Okay, but you gotta trust me.
02:53You're going to love it.
02:54And it's, it's gonna make you a better person.
02:58Okay.
02:59Okay?
03:00Okay.
03:00I promise.
03:03Crystal, our helicopter ride was amazing.
03:05No, no, no, no, no, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
03:06oh.
03:07Hold on.
03:08I'm pressing the snap.
03:09There you go.
03:10Oh my god.
03:10I got you.
03:11I know.
03:11Oh my god.
03:12I know, they're all barbarians.
03:13I know, I almost saw who went home.
03:14I'm recording it.
03:16It better be Jennifer.
03:17She's such a bitch.
03:18Do you know she peed on a homeless person and brags about it in every episode?
03:22Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
03:22Amanda, Amanda.
03:23Please tell me you're joking.
03:24No, I'm not joking.
03:25Jennifer should go home.
03:26Karen is there for the right reason.
03:28You actually and unironically enjoy watching that crap?
03:31Yes, I unironically love it. Is that a problem?
03:36That's... morbid.
03:38Excuse me?
03:39You enjoy watching people be manipulated and made fools of on national television. It's morbid.
03:45No, your favorite movie is about a genocide. That's morbid.
03:50That's art.
03:50No, you know what? No one needs to apologize for what they like.
03:53Someone should apologize for making that.
03:55Okay, no. Pop culture is important. It is a reflection of a...
03:59Okay, you don't have to get all soapboxy on me.
04:02I've been dying to show you this all day. Let's just do it.
04:09It's so black and white.
04:10I know.
04:12He movie raped you. I wouldn't use that word.
04:16Well, did you say no?
04:17Yes.
04:19And he made you watch it anyway.
04:21Schindler's List is his favorite movie.
04:22I mean, really, whose favorite movie is Schindler's List?
04:25Who really comes home after a long day and says,
04:27You know what? Let me kick back, grab a cup of cocoa,
04:31and snuggle up with my boo, and watch a bunch of innocent people die.
04:37Hey, what does he think of your work?
04:40I haven't shown him yet.
04:41Guys, are you going to see this cartoon?
04:42Yeah, sure.
04:43So, my boss, Kathy, she's amazing.
04:46She created pretty much all my favorite kids' shows from the 90s.
04:49She said she sees potential in me, which I don't know.
04:52It's kind of hard to believe, but I still think it's...
04:54Really, really awesome. Check this out.
04:57What's that?
04:58It's my portfolio.
05:00Cool.
05:01Is it just food, or...?
05:03People don't realize what really goes into food photography.
05:06This one is part of a series I call Comfort Americana.
05:10I mean, sure, it's commercial, but it's still art.
05:19Addicted much?
05:20Oh, sorry.
05:21It's just my friend sending me dumb pictures of...
05:25Your pictures are great.
05:27Uh, the lighting and composition is very...
05:31unspontaneous.
05:32See, you get it.
05:33That's what I like about you.
05:35Most people your age have this pie-in-the-sky idea about what it means to be an artist.
05:40I was smart enough to realize I'm not going to be the next Ansel Adams.
05:43So I got on track with something stable before it was too late, and you get that.
05:47What do I get, exactly?
05:50You're not going to be the next Walt Disney.
05:52And that's okay.
05:54You can still have a satisfying job in your field.
05:57It's good that you know your limitations,
06:00and that you're not just going to be a dreamer until it's way past cute.
06:03Way past cute.
06:05I know exactly what you mean.
06:07So no foreign film tonight?
06:09Yeah, not so much.
06:11Pick a card, any card.
06:12I'm not looking.
06:15Now put it back in the deck anywhere.
06:19Yeah, the whole Walt Disney thing.
06:21Can't unring that bell.
06:22Is this your card?
06:25No.
06:26And I started thinking, I can't be with someone who just gives up on his dreams like that and is
06:30okay with himself, you know?
06:32Yeah.
06:33Is this your card?
06:34No.
06:37Do you know those What You Love burgers with the bacon cheese fries baked into the buns?
06:42Yeah, so last night all I wanted was to eat one of those over the sink while watching Saved by
06:47the Bell reruns and be like,
06:48What happened to Lark Voorhees?
06:50And get special sauce stuck to my elbows and find myself genuinely adorable.
06:55And I could never do that with him.
06:57So I ended it.
06:59Oh.
07:02Is this your card?
07:03What the fuck?
07:05Yeah!
07:06How did you do that?
07:07Very well, thank you.
07:30Good luck.
