00:00How does it feel to be loved by a black woman?
00:02It feels like I'm being both pushed and nurtured at the same time, I guess.
00:08Part of that is someone that's also constantly checking you and constantly calling you out
00:14and shattering your fragile ego.
00:16I mean, it's real though. That's part of it.
00:19It's part of the growth process, but it's almost like vegetables or something.
00:23You know that it's like you need it.
00:32We met at the Columbia University party, the 90's party.
00:36I saw you on the dance floor and then I came up and asked you.
00:40I asked you out on a date, I think, straight up.
00:43I wasn't even like, I want you to know. I was like, I want to take you out.
00:45No. That's not it.
00:49You came up to me and you said, I think you're really beautiful.
00:53I'd like to take you on a date.
00:54I thought you were definitely, you were the cutest person in your friend group by far.
00:58That's a win.
00:59I was also kind of like in a phase where I was trying to be independent and like, I was
01:02like, I don't need to date.
01:04Like, I had made that decision that day. I had just told my friends, I'm focusing on me. I'm not
01:07dating.
01:08And so then there you are. Why do you want to marry me?
01:10Because you're my best friend. Like I told you, I love growing with you.
01:15And I thought I wanted to do that alone. I thought that being alone and trying to figure life out
01:27that way was like the journey and struggle of an artist.
01:32But I reject that notion. I think you can have both truly happy and want to be better in a
01:41very healthy and constructive way.
01:43I love you.
01:44I love you too.
01:45After we first met, how did you describe me to your friends?
01:48To be honest, it always felt like wifey vibes, if that makes sense. I'll jump. It's different. It's weird. It's
01:58like, in guy culture, I feel like it's always so objectified with someone, more so when it's someone that's not
02:05serious.
02:06And then someone that you like, care about, or like, you think, like, you could be with, you're just more
02:12protective over it.
02:13Some of my friends didn't understand that. And some of my friends were a little more supportive of that.
02:18I love you. I don't even get emotional. But you're, you're my best friend, babe.
02:23How do you want me to grow as an individual and part of this couple?
02:28I think there are parts of you that I, parts of you and your personality that I want to acquire
02:34and parts of me that I think, you know, I think you should acquire. You know what I mean?
02:40As far as like listening, understanding other perspectives and like really hearing another perspective when things aren't black and white
02:46in the gray.
02:47I think that's like always a place to grow. It's like, I want to understand where you're coming from. I
02:52can accept it later on, but it's like hearing it and hearing people and hearing where they're coming from.
02:56And then making my judgment.
02:57Where I'm going to be like, that's bullshit.
02:59Exactly. And hopefully in, you know, years down the line, we both kind of just grow.
03:04Where we can, we understand both sides, when to speak up, when to sit back. And we've dealt with that
03:08in so many different ways with family and with other stuff. And it's just like, it's all about that ebb
03:14and flow.
03:15But I envision, cause we're like hella nineties lovers. I saw your haircut.
03:19Like not in a cliche way, but like in an Erykah Badu.
03:22Exactly.
03:23Nia Long.
03:25Nia Long.
03:25Nia Long, Halle Berry Boomerang. I saw that haircut. It's a statement.
03:29Yeah.
03:29And it, and it just spoke to me. I was, I was just so attracted to that and so attracted
03:34to your mind and so attracted to your confidence and so attracted to, to like your heart and your love
03:39and your vision.
03:40I love your eyebrows. I love your features. I love your lips. I wish I had your lips. I wish
03:45I had more defined, you know, oh your jaw. I bet, I, you know, you know, I can go, I'm
03:50just saying, I love everything. Everything.
03:52Mm.
03:54I love everything.
03:55Yes, thank you.
