00:00Usually when I look in the mirror I feel like I'm that bitch.
00:03It's what happens when I go out into the rest of the world that I start to have some self
00:08-doubt.
00:09How I feel about my body.
00:10I have my days.
00:11I feel pretty good about myself.
00:13I like that I'm a tall, long person.
00:16I like my long legs.
00:17I like my long arms.
00:18I definitely am aware that I have a unique look today.
00:24I'm super happy with what I see.
00:27It wasn't always that way.
00:28You go through puberty.
00:29And when that hits, boom.
00:31Growing up I got a lot of body shaming for being skinny.
00:34It made me so insecure.
00:35I always hated changing the locker rooms.
00:37I always hated when people would point out to me, oh my gosh you're so skinny.
00:40I still do.
00:41In like maybe middle school I just started to realize that women's bodies were capital.
00:47They came with social capital and like a lot of access.
00:49I definitely felt a strong desire to have a different body.
00:55Having a quote unquote nice body.
00:57It came with all these perks.
00:59Now I don't feel that way just because I can access those things too with what I have.
01:06Loving my body is definitely a continuous process.
01:10Me, I really should go on a diet and it's like also me.
01:13But I'm still catching men's eye with this same body so what's up.
01:19Do you think that there's a body ideal for black women?
01:22Yes.
01:23Fat ass.
01:24Wide hips.
01:25Small waist.
01:27Titties optional.
01:28Big boobs.
01:29Small waist.
01:30Fat ass.
01:31Black women would have like curves and hips and I didn't have any of that.
01:34There's this idea that black people are more body positive and I think the problem with
01:41that is that one black people are also very fat phobic.
01:45Black people have different standards but the way in which they treat people who fall outside
01:51of that body type can still be just as toxic, just as harmful, just as hurtful.
01:55I think back in the day, the video Vixen like literally was a thing.
01:59As a little girl, it kind of internalizes those things and makes you say, am I not okay
02:04because I don't look like this or my body doesn't fit the description in this rap song?
02:09When it comes to hip hop culture right now and all of the things that really make it seem
02:16like the definition of beauty for black women, it kills me.
02:20It makes me absolutely sick.
02:22All these girls that are getting butt shots, implants, and I don't want to pass judgment
02:27because no matter what it is, enhancement isn't bad.
02:31I just think it starts from within.
02:33I felt like I was on the other side of like negative thoughts about my body when I realized
02:39that I could move through the world without thinking about it at all.
02:42I was raised by a Christian mom and dad who always told me, you are fearfully and wonderfully made.
02:49And I really believe in that.
02:50I don't have a body ideal, but I have ideals for my body if that makes sense.
02:57Me comparing my body to anyone else's is unrealistic.
03:00It took me a really long time to love how I look now.
03:03My body ideal is the ones that I'm in.
03:06I love my long arms. They help me reach things.
03:09And I love being tall.
03:10I think my favorite part of my body is my boobs.
03:13At the end of the day, I know I have a killer face.
03:16And when I do what I need to do, I can walk out of the house feeling beautiful.
03:19I love that my body is also, it gets to be such a source of pleasure.
03:24And like that I get to enjoy it like visually and physically.
03:30I think it's really important for black women to be able to uplift each other no matter how we look.
03:35If it's not enough for somebody else, then like they have to take that up God.
03:41I don't know what to tell them.
03:42Like I don't have the answers.
03:43If it's not enough for you guys.
03:43If it's not enough for you guys.
03:44If it's not enough for you guys.
03:44If it's not enough for you guys.
03:44If it's not enough for you guys.
03:44If it's not enough for you guys.
