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Women have abortions for lots of reasons. Refinery29 takes a deep dive into the experiences of different women who needed to have this procedure.
Transcript
00:00It seems like most women my age have had a pregnancy scare at some point in their lives.
00:04I know I have.
00:05Abortion in our society has been deemed so taboo that it isn't really discussed at all.
00:10It makes me realize that I know nothing about what the process is like.
00:14I decided that it's time to educate myself.
00:16So I contacted an abortion provider, Dr. Sarah Vallier, who not only speaks as a professional
00:21but from a personal experience as she's had abortions at both 17 and 18 years old.
00:26So Sarah, tell me about when you got pregnant.
00:28So actually I have had two pregnancies and two abortions and the first time I got pregnant
00:34was at 17 years old and the second was at 18.
00:38How did you come to the decision to have an abortion?
00:40You know that was actually a really really hard decision for me to make.
00:44You know I grew up in Texas in a pretty conservative Christian family and I knew emotionally and
00:49physically, financially, I really just wasn't prepared to be a parent but I had a lot of
00:56reservations about how my choice would be accepted by others including my family and friends.
01:03And so I did have a lot of fear about the decision that I was making but I knew it
01:07was the right choice for me.
01:09As a 17 year old, you know I really wasn't making a lot of money and really couldn't turn to
01:14anyone for financial help.
01:16So it did take a lot to kind of scrounge together, the money to have an abortion, the anxiety about
01:22the whole process in general,
01:23and really not knowing anything about abortion or how the procedure would go because we don't learn those things in
01:30school.
01:30No one talks about those.
01:32I just remember thinking after the procedure like wow that was so quick and I recovered in minutes and I
01:41felt such relief afterwards that the entire emotional buildup just felt so silly.
01:49What are other misconceptions that you heard before you got the abortion?
01:53That you know these are young irresponsible women choosing to make this decision and yes I was a teenager but
02:01I had dreams of college and graduate school and I was actually taking birth control pills at the time.
02:09This is really just part of everyday medicine and that it's okay to make this decision for yourself.
02:16It's okay to have the conversation and break down these barriers.
02:20Talking with Sarah really opened my eyes to the fact that abortion is a normal healthcare procedure that doesn't require
02:25going to a special clinic.
02:26It's comforting to know that someone as empathetic and kind as Sarah is working to provide these services and education.
02:32I wanted to know more about the different procedures available so I talked to my friend Clara who got two
02:37abortions a decade apart.
02:38So Clara, what has been your experience with abortion?
02:41I've had two abortions. Both are different but both were really hard and difficult. They were very hard decisions to
02:49make.
02:49When I was 24 I got pregnant and I was less than 10 weeks along when I found out so
02:55I chose to do the abortion pill.
02:57You do it at home, you're not in the doctor's office, there's none of that stigma of like being in
03:03the doctor's office.
03:04Whereas with the surgical abortion, you're in the office, you see the machines, it feels like a surgery. It gives
03:11it that gravity.
03:12I started going to therapy for my ridiculous levels of anxiety.
03:16Planned Parenthood provide counseling?
03:18They provided counseling and they provided me with the list of counselors to call to seek.
03:23And so without them I would not have been able to figure out where to go, you know, who accepts
03:27insurance, like all of that jazz.
03:29What is it like being a woman of color and dealing so closely with abortion?
03:33The black community is not about going to therapy or seeking your mental health.
03:37When I tell people I go like, oh my god, I need to go too. I'm like, yep, you sure
03:40do.
03:41Here's the number. I feel like it's so important for us to know that there's people like us that get
03:46abortions.
03:47For whatever reason, we are not required to have someone's child.
03:52Like any medical procedure, abortion can have an effect on your mental health.
03:56Using the resources that the clinic provided, Claire worked through the emotional impact that it had on her and was
04:01able to move forward.
04:02Like Clara, my friend Hannah also didn't have a support system, but found one in the services provided at Planned
04:08Parenthood.
04:08Her experience there was so formative that she made the commitment to helping others as an abortion provider.
04:14So tell me about your abortion experience.
04:15So I had two. I was 20. I was in college. I had no money. My parents didn't know. They
04:22wouldn't have supported me at all.
04:24If you ask like Asian parents or Asian fathers if they're pro, if they're for or against abortions, a lot
04:30of them will tell you no, like they're pro-life.
04:34But as soon as one of their daughters, their unmarried daughters gets pregnant, their fathers are going to be like
04:39the first people to take them to have an abortion.
04:42So there's a lot of stigma like within like different cultures too, I think.
04:45Talk to me about why you decided to become an abortion provider.
04:48I applied for a job at Planned Parenthood because of the experience that I had when I was 20.
04:52If abortion is made illegal, the only thing it's going to do is make abortion unsafe.
04:58It's going to make it difficult for people to access and it's going to make it more dangerous.
05:03Hannah wasn't ready for a child and made the decision that she knew was best for her future.
05:07On the other hand, Erica and her husband were ready for a family.
05:11But when it became clear that pregnancy was not viable, abortion became absolutely necessary.
05:16I had an abortion two years ago.
05:19This is when I was 35 years old and very excited to start a family with my husband.
05:24And we found out quite well into the pregnancy that there was a terrible problem with the fetus.
05:32One that was incompatible with life, meaning that if I made it all the way to birth,
05:38I would give birth to a baby who would choke for a few minutes and then die.
05:43We, you know, at that point decided to terminate the pregnancy to, in the best way we could,
05:48limit pain and suffering for everyone involved.
05:51And that's when we found out about the law in New York.
05:54So we couldn't get an abortion at that point in New York.
05:56In my case, I flew all the way to Colorado to get a shot to stop the fetus's heartbeat.
06:03Got back on the plane, flew back to New York to be induced for a 30-hour labor and delivery.
06:09I think something that might be hard to grasp until you're at the stage of your life
06:13where you're concerned with pregnancy and getting pregnant is, A, how hard it is actually
06:18to get pregnant, stay pregnant, and then have a healthy pregnancy.
06:22My husband and I really changed our whole lives.
06:24I mean, we quit our jobs.
06:26We completely focused ourselves on fixing this law in New York.
06:30The best way you can kind of prepare yourself is just by supporting women,
06:33listening to women, trusting women.
06:35I'll just say, even at the lowest level, like, support women, support your female friends.
06:39Erica's story shows us that women have abortions for a myriad of reasons.
06:43We cannot assume that we understand their circumstances,
06:45but what we can do is support fellow women above all else,
06:49respect their decisions, and their right to choose.
06:51One in four women have had an abortion,
06:54which goes to show that it's absolutely vital for us to be more open about it
06:58and not shame women that decide to have one.
07:00Bottom line, abortion is a healthcare service that all women are entitled to.
07:04And while you might think that the conversation around abortion doesn't apply to you,
07:08it very well could one day.
07:10As women, it is crucial for us to ask questions, practice safe sex,
07:14and use resources like Planned Parenthood to educate ourselves.
07:17We'll see you next time.

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