00:01At the time, my brain was just spiraling out of control, and I was consumed by these really intrusive thoughts.
00:12I never ever thought that I was going to get better, and I needed to know that things were going
00:19to improve.
00:27My friends and family don't know anyone else on the planet that does what I do.
00:33When I was younger, I was just so fascinated and intrigued at the sheer diversity of life that you could
00:41find just on your doorstep.
00:43And that inspiration made me want to understand it and study it.
00:50The technical term for my role is lichenologist.
00:56The reason I love lichens is because I think they are so incredibly beautiful.
01:06They create all of these intricate patterns, and they add so much color and texture and beauty to the world
01:13around us.
01:19Lichens are a fungus that partner up with either an algae or a cyanobacteria.
01:25That whole symbiosis just fascinates me.
01:29You have multiple species from different biological kingdoms interacting and coexisting with one another.
01:37The fungus needs the algae for food.
01:41The algae will photosynthesize and take energy from the sunshine and produce carbohydrates for the fungus to then tap into.
01:58My brain is really active, and sometimes there is so much background noise, and getting out into the wild, looking
02:08at lichens, it just completely empties my brain.
02:17It just makes you so present.
02:27These lichens, they can tell you so much about air quality, water quality, woodland quality.
02:34Lichens are such fantastic indicators of ancient woodland and ecological continuity, because some lichens won't appear on the tree until
02:43about 250 to 300 years.
02:50The human-induced changes to nature at the moment are so rapid, and these lichens just cannot respond.
02:56And that is the importance of monitoring them going forward.
03:10When I did experience the anxiety and depression, I was feeding this cycle of negativity by withdrawing.
03:19I reached out and I got help, and that was really pivotal for me.
03:26At the time I felt really disappointed and ashamed, but now I look back, I feel really proud and brave
03:34and strong for having acknowledged that I was struggling and then reaching out for help.
03:42What I realise now that was so important is I needed to be surrounded by everything and everyone that I
03:49love to get better.
03:59I completely withdrew myself from the natural world, which has never happened before apart from that period.
04:09Once I reconnected, it made me feel so grounded.
04:13I was reminded about my place in the world and I'd forgotten just how much beauty there was in nature.
04:23I started to feel very slowly inspired again and got my love back for life.
04:31Nature was such an integral part of that.
04:33I set myself to breathe so much bye when they sleep on this day and I came back.
04:50lifting this escape itself, we thought you could hit it all.
04:52It has a wonderful day.
