00:00My girlfriend and I were making out on the sofa when she stopped me and said,
00:03let's take this upstairs. I said, okay, you grab one end, I'll get the other.
00:09I just want to apologize for making everything I say into an innuendo. It's just really hard.
00:15My wife asked if I could clear the kitchen table for dinner. I needed a run-up, but I did
00:18it.
00:23If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive,
00:25you should try swimming with sharks. Cost me an arm and a leg.
00:30I was at a job interview the other day and they asked, can you perform under pressure? I said,
00:38I farted in Burger King.
00:41I farted in Burger King. It was an absolute whopper.
00:45What has five toes, but isn't your foot my foot?
00:53Why did the Mexican take anti-anxiety medication? For Hispanic attacks.
01:00I was at the car dealership and asked the salesman about cargo space.
01:04He said, car no do that, cargo road.
01:08I was having a coffee at a cafe when suddenly a referee walked in.
01:12I thought, oh, it's going to kick off now.
