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00:00Hey, welcome, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.
00:05Welcome to the show, one and all.
00:09Oh, dear, are you all missing chases on a Friday night?
00:12I know.
00:13Well, don't be sad because,
00:15hot foot from the Traders' Round Table,
00:16singing for us later, it's James Blunt.
00:19CHEERING
00:20There he is.
00:21He'll be performing his new single, Circles.
00:24And I promise you will be on the show, James.
00:27We won't banish you at the last minute.
00:29Thank you so much.
00:30It could happen.
00:31But first, who are the fatefuls on my sofa tonight?
00:34Well, he's after won an Emmy, playing Seth Milchick
00:37in the hit TV series Severance,
00:39and went deep in Mission Impossible, The Final Reckoning.
00:41Now he's getting into the Christmas spirit in Ebenezer,
00:45it's Tramiel Tillman!
00:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:51Hello, sir.
00:52Good to see you.
00:53Welcome, welcome, welcome.
00:54Have a seat to Tramiel Tillman.
00:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:57She was Claire in Derry Girls,
01:00Lady Whistledown in Bridgerton,
01:01and a real doll in the Barbie movie.
01:04Now, starring in the latest installment
01:05of the BAFTA-winning series,
01:07I am Helen, it's Nicola Coughlin, everyone!
01:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:12Yay!
01:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:15Good to see you.
01:17Come here.
01:17There you go, Nicola Coughlin.
01:19Hello.
01:20And this Tony, Olivier and Emmy-winning Scottish star,
01:25dazzled as the MC in Cabaret,
01:27was a Bond villain in GoldenEye,
01:29and as King of the Castle,
01:30as host of the US Tracers.
01:32Now returning to the stage,
01:33in the classic My Fair Lady,
01:35it is our very good friend, Alan Cumming!
01:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:49A Bond-winning legend has ruled the stage,
01:52mastered Shakespeare, conquered Hollywood,
01:54and kept 007 in line as M.
01:56Her new memoir recounts her life and work,
01:59what a life and what a lady.
02:01Please welcome the great Dame Judi Dench!
02:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:16What are you doing guys, everybody?
02:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:18Hey!
02:20Self is here, careful.
02:21Self is here.
02:23Don't miss it.
02:24I made it.
02:26Phew!
02:27That could have been a very awkward beginning of the show.
02:29Welcome back, Judi Dench, lovely to see you.
02:32Thank you, Beth.
02:33I think, what did you say, it's your 15th time on here?
02:35It is!
02:36I can't believe that.
02:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:42You invited me.
02:44LAUGHTER
02:45Always.
02:46I haven't just crashed.
02:48Always invited.
02:49Yeah, always invited.
02:49The Judi Dench is here.
02:51Look busy.
02:52You're on the end of the sofa.
02:54LAUGHTER
02:55And welcome back to Alan Cumming, welcome back to Nicola Coughlin.
02:58A first-time welcome to Jamel.
03:00Hello.
03:00Yes, thank you for having me.
03:01Lovely to see you.
03:02And a lot of people will know you, of course, from Severance,
03:05the big hit show.
03:07Everyone loves Severance.
03:08Yes, go on.
03:11Don't be shy.
03:14And because of Severance, do people just want you to dance?
03:17Um, yes.
03:18Please don't ask me.
03:19No, I'm not going to ask you.
03:21View the track.
03:21No.
03:22No.
03:22No.
03:22No.
03:25So the dancing in season one, but then in season two, the big marching band
03:29arrived.
03:29Yes, marching band.
03:30Was that your idea?
03:31No, it was not my idea.
03:32But then you have this weird link.
03:34I do.
03:35So I was in marching band in high school.
03:37Oh, wow.
03:38And what's really odd is that the uniforms in that marching band sequence
03:42are the same colours as the uniform in my high school marching band.
03:46Whoa.
03:46Now, we've got a picture of you in your high school.
03:49Here we go.
03:49There you are.
03:50Nice job.
03:51It looks so cool.
03:53It looks really cool.
03:53Did you graduate from high school yesterday?
03:58Very high school.
03:58You look younger now than you did in high school.
04:01Yeah.
04:04It's amazing.
04:05Yeah, yeah, yeah.
04:06It's such a hard look for you, Tramiel.
04:08The saxophone or the plume?
04:10The plume.
04:11Yeah.
04:14Talking of glittering occasions, Dame Judi, you were at the...
04:18Was it the royal premiere?
04:20You didn't have to call me Dame.
04:21Oh, sorry.
04:22Judy.
04:22Judy.
04:24Judy.
04:25Judy and Alan, you were together, I thought, was it the royal premiere
04:28of GoldenEye?
04:29Yes.
04:29Yes, for GoldenEye.
04:30You were?
04:31Yes, years ago, yeah.
04:33APPLAUSE
04:34And...
04:35And the...
04:36It was so hilarious because they...
04:38It was like...
04:38It hadn't been a...
04:39It was the first James Bond film in ages,
04:41and so there was a royal premiere.
04:43And in those days, it was a long time ago.
04:45I don't think they're quite as anal, the royals, about everything.
04:48But we...
04:48You've got these two...
04:49Well, who knows?
04:50We've got these...
04:52He's our friend now.
04:53Leave it.
04:54That's right.
04:55I forgot.
04:56Last week.
04:56We've got these two pages of sort of official royal etiquette,
05:02facts through.
05:03And it was all a very elaborate way of, like, ladies must curtsy
05:06and a very sort of 12-point way to curtsy.
05:08And it said, gentlemen should bow from the neck forward.
05:12I was like, well, you're hardly going to bow from the neck back.
05:15LAUGHTER
05:16We were standing in line at the thing, and you were next to me,
05:19and I was like, I'm just going to shake his hand.
05:20I'm not going to bow.
05:21And he went, oh, I'm a dame.
05:22I'm going to bow.
05:23And then...
05:24And so we were chatting.
05:25I told you about the bowing from the neck forward thing.
05:28And so on the telly, there was, like, Piers, Brosnan,
05:30and Prince Charles, and they were sort of talking like this.
05:32And between them, in the background, are you and me going...
05:38Laughing our heads off.
05:41Talking of Piers Brosnan, is it true he recently darkened your door?
05:46He did.
05:46And I hadn't seen him for a very long time.
05:49And he suddenly rang Piers one day and said,
05:52I'm in your neck of the woods.
05:54Can I possibly see you?
05:55I said, oh, Piers, I can't think of anything nicer.
05:57And he arrived at my house.
05:59And I have a very small front door at my house.
06:03And he came along, and I didn't realise he was coming.
06:06He stood at the door and looked down.
06:08And what I had forgotten is that my door, Matt, says,
06:11I've been expecting you, Mr Bond.
06:14LAUGHTER
06:14There it is!
06:16That's it, thank you!
06:19APPLAUSE
06:21Quite the welcome, quite the welcome.
06:23And Nicola, I don't know if you know this, Judy,
06:26but you and Nicola have worked together.
06:28I do know it, only thanks to my grandson, who's here tonight.
06:32Oh, Sally.
06:33Yes, well, you tell the story.
06:34Yes, well, I am...
06:36So I'm a super fan of Judy.
06:39And I was at the National Theatre earlier in this year
06:41in the playboy The Western World and found out that Judy...
06:44Oh, thank you very much!
06:46LAUGHTER
06:46I found out that Judy and Ian were doing a talk there
06:49and I sort of said, can I come to the talk?
06:50And they said, well, you might miss the half,
06:52but I went, just don't tell anybody.
06:54And then the talk finished and I sort of ran round the building
06:56trying to find her and you very kindly said hello to me.
06:58And I was sort of nervous and said, we're in the same film.
07:01And you went, are we?
07:02And I went, yes, you were a fridge.
07:03And you went, am I?
07:05And I said, no, I really promised.
07:06A fridge?
07:07She was a fridge?
07:08In the magic far away tree, magic far away tree, you play...
07:11Sadly, you're not on the poster, Judy, but you play a fridge.
07:14I do.
07:15What?
07:16I didn't realise.
07:17Sammy went to see it and he came home after.
07:21He said, I tell you what, Ma, he said,
07:24suddenly you're in the middle of it, playing the fridge.
07:26And he says, it says fridge, Judy, don't.
07:29Yes.
07:32And I thought, because it's...
07:35Because it's the magic far away tree,
07:38I thought it was some sort of magical fridge,
07:40but it's just one of those fridges...
07:41Oh, it's just any old fridge.
07:43But it's got your voice in it.
07:45Yeah, which is good.
07:46I feel like I've dropped acid or something.
07:48What's going on?
07:54Let's get started tonight with Judy Dent's new memoir,
07:57Is It Too Late To Make A Run For It?
07:59I've Got It Here.
08:01Lovely.
08:02It is out now, and I can tell you,
08:04it is the number one Sunday Times bestseller
08:06for two weeks in a row.
08:08Congratulations.
08:09I don't know.
08:12So...
08:15But do you know what we beat only just by a short head?
08:20What?
08:21Wallace and Gromit.
08:23But you beat it.
08:25That's the important thing.
08:25Only by very short head.
08:27Now, it's written with your good friend, Brendan O'Hay,
08:30and he does a great job.
08:32He asks you questions, he prompts memories...
08:35He does it by stealth.
08:37He actually does it by stealth,
08:39because we're such great friends.
08:41I mean, I didn't realise there was...
08:43We'd already written a book.
08:45I didn't know that this was happening.
08:47He crept up on me.
08:49And that's what he did.
08:51So does he come in and put the recorder down and say...
08:54No, there's no recorder.
08:55Oh, yes, I think there is, actually.
08:57He kind of hides it.
08:58You know, I'm not aware of it.
09:00It's like just a very camp conversation.
09:02OK, so you just a cup of tea and then you just...
09:04Yes, just, you know.
09:05OK.
09:06Yes.
09:06So you don't know how long this book took,
09:08because it just happened.
09:09I have actually no idea.
09:11LAUGHTER
09:13Well, I'll tell you now,
09:14it takes it through kind of your whole life,
09:17and you talk about your childhood in York.
09:19I do.
09:20And you were quite cheeky.
09:22This is a very sweet picture of you as a little girl.
09:24Oh, my God.
09:24Oh, my God.
09:25You look like one of the Von Trapp children from The Sound of Music.
09:30You do.
09:30Oh, yes.
09:31The teeth.
09:32I know what happens.
09:33Oh, gorgeous.
09:34Oh, it's appalling.
09:37You were down performing very young.
09:39What was your first role?
09:40Was it that the nativity or the snail?
09:43A snail.
09:44The snail was the first one.
09:45Yes.
09:45Does everybody know that that rhyme
09:50for...
09:50I've never known whether it was tailors or sailors.
09:53Four-and-twenty tailors went to kill a snail.
09:57The best man amongst them dares not touch her tail.
10:00She put out her horns like a little...
10:05Cowrie cow, I'm not sure.
10:07Run, tailors, run, or she'll catch you all ere now.
10:10Where does that come from?
10:11Your head.
10:13LAUGHTER
10:13LAUGHTER
10:18I didn't do any of that.
10:19I didn't do any reciting.
10:21I was just a snail.
10:23And all I had to do was to be in a big shell.
10:26And at a certain point go...
10:29And then they all ran away.
10:32And my pa made me the most incredible shell out of Buckram.
10:36I don't expect anybody knows what that is now.
10:39It's got a Hessian, I think.
10:40It was like...
10:41Like a kind of cardboard.
10:43Oh, I see.
10:44It was a huge shell tied round me.
10:46So I didn't have to do anything except...
10:48Except lie down and go like that.
10:51But of course...
10:53Rehearsing is one thing.
10:54The night that you get your parents there and everybody is quite another.
10:59Yes.
10:59So I sat there and then I suddenly heard this noise and so stood up like that.
11:05And I heard the headmistress from the side saying,
11:09Get down!
11:11LAUGHTER
11:11Get down!
11:13LAUGHTER
11:14That's all I remember.
11:16LAUGHTER
11:17So the end of the story, what happened to the sailors or the tailors, I don't know.
11:21No, but you got down.
11:23Resounding disaster.
11:25But that idea of, you know, not doing what you're told on stage is a real theme in the book.
11:32There's a story you tell, you read a musical called The Good Companion with John Mills.
11:38I can see that.
11:39Can you?
11:40Yes, I can see that that's the car.
11:42Yeah, you in the car.
11:44Yeah.
11:44With heaven.
11:45But there was an actor who is nameless in the book and will remain nameless that you didn't get on
11:50with.
11:50You and John, you took against him.
11:53No, we didn't.
11:54LAUGHTER
11:55No, we didn't take against him.
11:57But he didn't behave very well.
11:59OK.
12:00And you and John decided to...?
12:01There was a number where there were a lot of passengers and all standing in a row and they all
12:08had suitcases.
12:09And there was a point where they all went like that and down.
12:12And so Johnny Mills and I got hold of two stage weights and we put them inside this particular case.
12:20So when the man...
12:22LAUGHTER
12:22He went...
12:24LAUGHTER
12:25LAUGHTER
12:28LAUGHTER
12:28Jason.
12:29He didn't have his arm off.
12:32He shouldn't be in talent.
12:34I'm going to say, there are more stories than you think like that in this book.
12:38You are very naughty.
12:40Now, one of the other things that really strikes me in this book is you are fearless.
12:45Like, you like a challenge, don't you?
12:47Yes.
12:48For instance...
12:48I'm not fearless, though.
12:50Oh, no?
12:51I am.
12:51OK.
12:51No, I'm not fearless.
12:53I get very, very frightened.
12:54But there's something about being...
12:56Even my palms now are very wet.
12:58They're quite moist, yeah.
13:01LAUGHTER
13:02But, er, talk to us about...
13:04We'll talk to you as well, Alan, about this, but the West End debut of Cabaret the Musical...
13:10Oh, yes.
13:11Er, you were not a musical star, but you played Sally Bowles.
13:16Yeah.
13:17So, was everyone very shocked that Judi Dench was appearing in a musical?
13:21No, I don't think they were aware one way or another.
13:25I thought some people thought it was quite surprising.
13:27I thought it was quite surprising.
13:29LAUGHTER
13:29So, Hal Prince, the great Hal Prince who was directing it,
13:32he reached out to you?
13:34Yes, suddenly I was asked by my agent to go and see him,
13:38and he said, you know, I'm going to take a big risk.
13:43Er, and...
13:44But Michael Bentall had said that to me when I went to the OVIC too,
13:47so, you know...
13:48But did you have to sing at the audition when you met Hal Prince?
13:51Did you sing?
13:51Yes, I think I did.
13:52I can't remember what.
13:54Yeah.
13:54Maybe happy birthday to you.
13:56I'm not sure.
13:57It was something pretty feeble.
14:00Do you know, when I did Cabaret for the first time in London,
14:03it was sort of a similar thing.
14:04People were saying, you know, oh, he's not done musicals before.
14:07They were actually saying,
14:08I don't think this role should be played by a straight actor.
14:10I was like, well, darling, you're fine.
14:14But it was a funny thing, and I think in...
14:16Less so now, but in those days especially,
14:18it was more like you either did musicals or you did plays.
14:21Yeah.
14:21And it was sort of...
14:22It was sort of shocking for someone to sort of dip over.
14:27Nicola, did you sing, Nicola?
14:29A bit.
14:29I'm not Beyonce.
14:30Like, I'm not going to...
14:31I'm going to say James Blood, move over, I'm here.
14:33We're good.
14:34But I listen to both of you in Cabaret all the time.
14:37You're on Spotify, did you know, singing Don't Tell Mama,
14:40and I listen to that a million...
14:42What is Spotify?
14:42It's a music streamer.
14:44You can listen to music.
14:45A music streaming service.
14:46Oh, right.
14:47And it's so...
14:47There's a cheque for about £15 waiting for you.
14:51And there's a legal video of you doing Cabaret at the Donmar,
14:54which I also have watched because it's my favourite musical, so...
14:57Is it?
14:57Oh, yes.
14:58Very much so, yeah, yeah, yeah.
14:59Tabelle, you do do musicals.
15:00I do.
15:01Oh, wow.
15:01I do, I sing.
15:02Have you done Cabaret?
15:03Yeah.
15:04No, no, I have not.
15:05Well, I...
15:05Get with the program.
15:07I'm working on it.
15:08I'm working on it.
15:09It's actually one of the roles I would love to play at MC.
15:12Oh, you'd be great.
15:12Throw it out there.
15:13Throw it out there.
15:14Judy, in the book, you talk about your experience with
15:17Stephen Sondheim when you were in A Little Light Music.
15:20It's weird, we've talked about quite a few of your musicals.
15:23Oh, you're amazing.
15:23But you sing that amazing song, Send in the Clowns.
15:27And, you know, you say you're not really a singer, but, you know...
15:31I'm not and I'm not.
15:32But Sondheim songs are difficult.
15:34Yeah.
15:34How did you approach, you know, a big standard song like that?
15:39I don't know.
15:40You'll just think, you know, comes the day and you're expected to do it.
15:43Yeah.
15:44And you've practised it a bit and you just could keep your fingers crossed
15:47and hope for the best.
15:48But a wonderful thing, I had to sing it sitting on a great big bed
15:55which had a counterpane made of red roses on it.
15:59And Patsy Rodenberg, who taught voice at the National, said,
16:08most marvellous things I've never forgotten, she said,
16:13put under that bed and under that counterpane put a board,
16:18a quite substantial board.
16:20And do you know, it's like, you know, it's no good sitting on this
16:23and singing.
16:24You'd have to have a bit of support somehow.
16:26And I've never forgotten that.
16:28And it did make an incredible difference to how I felt about it.
16:32Yeah.
16:32A board under the counterpane.
16:34It's such an extraordinary thing, isn't it?
16:36But it did.
16:37It made me feel better.
16:39And then you did this very famous performance of Sending the Clowns.
16:42Was it for Stephen Sondheim's 80th birthday?
16:45At the Albert Hall?
16:47Yes.
16:47It was.
16:48Yeah.
16:49And now, you may not want to tell us this,
16:52but he did say a lovely thing to you afterwards.
16:54He said to you, that song is yours now.
16:57Oh, my goodness.
16:57Oh, wow.
16:59Didn't he?
16:59Yeah, it's in the book.
17:00It's in the book.
17:05Well, just to give us all a treat,
17:09we've got a little clip.
17:11What?
17:11We've got a little clip of you singing
17:14Sending the Clowns on that very special night
17:16at the Royal Albert Hall.
17:18Cover your ears.
17:19Here we go.
17:20Really beautiful.
17:24Nicola's gone.
17:26You are.
17:27Oh, darling.
17:28Nicola's gone.
17:29Nicola's gone.
17:33We've got more tissues.
17:34Oh, well, you're very good, aren't you?
17:39That was gorgeous.
17:40Absolutely gorgeous.
17:41And we're going to stay with musicals because Alan Cumming brings us a new production of one of the greatest
17:45musicals ever written, My Fair Lady.
17:48This production runs from the 21st of November to the 31st of December
17:54at the Pitlockery Festival of Theatre.
17:58So, you're giving your...
18:00Eliza Doolittle.
18:00Eliza Doolittle, yes.
18:02I'm giving my Henry Higgins, yeah.
18:04Wow. Is this kind of something you always wanted to play,
18:06or is it a surprise?
18:07It's a big surprise.
18:09I mean, really, how it happened was, so Maria Friedman is directing it,
18:12and I saw her, she directed this production of Merrily We Roll Along,
18:16the Sondheim show that I saw on Broadway with Dan Radcliffe,
18:21and it was just so beautiful.
18:24And, like, a show that I sort of hadn't really understood before,
18:28and I just saw it, and it made it so clear, and it was just...
18:30And so I'm artistic director of Pitlockery Festival Theatre,
18:33and so when I started, I thought, I want to do these big titles,
18:37as well as other unknown things, but if I'm going to do a big title,
18:40like My Fair Lady, I want to do it with someone who will give it a kick
18:43in the pants and do what I felt Maria had done to Merrily We Roll Along.
18:47Yeah. So I asked her if she would...
18:49..what she would like to do, and she said she would like to do
18:52My Fair Lady if I played Henry Higgins.
18:55So I was kind of bribed into doing that.
18:57But I just said, yeah, OK, I'll do it.
18:59And so it's kind of funny, you know, like, playing a character
19:02that is so iconic and kind of associated, kind of, with one person, really.
19:07Yeah. You know what I mean?
19:07Like, Rex Harrison's sort of so indelible in it, in the movie,
19:11and so it's been fascinating.
19:13We're in rehearsals now still.
19:14Sort of trying to find...
19:16I mean, I guess it's like when I did Cabaret,
19:19the MC was so associated with someone else,
19:21and I just kind of did it...
19:22You know, you just go with your gut and just do it
19:24how you think it should be done.
19:25It sounds amazing.
19:26But that is, I believe, completely sold out, isn't it?
19:28Yes. Oh, wow. Yes, it is.
19:29But if people want to plan a trip to Pithlockery,
19:33and they should because it's gorgeous,
19:36what treats are in store next year?
19:38Oh, I'm going to do the big sell for next year.
19:39Yeah, come on, you're artistic director. Come on!
19:41So in January, we have our LGBT festival.
19:44That was the first thing I programmed, was a queer festival.
19:47I was like, the times are a-changing.
19:49Which you very kindly came to. Yeah, it was really good fun.
19:52Then we have a writers festival in February.
19:54Then we're doing Absent Friends, the Alan Akeborn show.
19:57Then we're doing 9 to 5, the Dolly Parton musical.
19:59Then we're doing this show called Supernova,
20:02with me and Ewan McGregor, this beautiful...
20:04Amazing. There's a poster for that one, yes.
20:05I'm, yes, we're lovers and, you know, I've got Alzheimer's,
20:10as you can see by my gaze in that picture there.
20:16And then we're doing some other things.
20:19I can't remember the rest, but a lot of exciting things.
20:22And, Judy, been? Not been.
20:24No, I'm not old enough, darling.
20:27You're saving it.
20:28I have never been, actually.
20:29But it has a wonderful reputation for Scotland.
20:32Yes, yes, it does.
20:33And it sounds such a glorious face.
20:35It's magical.
20:36It's sort of like this...
20:37It's sort of like Brigadoon.
20:38You go across this little rickety bridge and there's a river
20:41and a dam and all this about...
20:42And there's this amazing theatre.
20:44It's sort of insane.
20:45Yeah.
20:46Because you, Judy, you love Scotland.
20:48Like, in the book you talk about how you said yes to Mrs Brown
20:51because you wanted to spend time in Scotland.
20:54That's absolutely right, yes.
20:56Oh, I'd like to be in Scotland.
20:57That would be absolutely...
20:58Yes, I would like to be there all that time.
21:00That would be absolutely...
21:00What's the part?
21:03LAUGHTER
21:04It was a bit like it.
21:06Because in terms of, you know,
21:07accepting, saying yes to things,
21:09what was it like?
21:10You got the call to do the final Mission Impossible.
21:13I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
21:14Did that just come out of the blue?
21:15Well, it didn't come out of the blue.
21:17I worked for many, many years.
21:19Oh, yeah, I mean, it wasn't like that.
21:21LAUGHTER
21:21You there.
21:23LAUGHTER
21:23Yeah.
21:24Whoo!
21:26APPLAUSE
21:28Well, Christopher McQuarrie,
21:29who directed the final Mission Impossible,
21:32was a big fan of Severance.
21:34And he had called me one day and said,
21:37hey, I just want you to know that I have a role for you
21:39in this franchise.
21:41And I played it cool.
21:43I said, well, I don't know, McQuarrie.
21:45I'm kind of busy filming right now.
21:47I don't know how to make it.
21:49And then I said, well, tell me more about the role.
21:50What is it about?
21:51And he said, well, I can't give you everything.
21:52You know, it's under NDAs.
21:54But I just want to let you know that there is something for you
21:56and it may have some meat to it.
21:58So I said, OK, well, I'll take a look at it and I'll see.
22:02And I got off the phone and called my team
22:04and I was like, we have to make this happen.
22:06LAUGHTER
22:07It has to happen.
22:09And it just materialized into this beautiful project
22:11and I got to work with Tom Cruise.
22:12Now, I've heard you talking about,
22:13because a lot of people, some people know about this,
22:16some people don't about it,
22:17but there's this famous Tom Cruise cake that people get.
22:20Yes.
22:20And I've heard you talk about this.
22:21Yes.
22:21So you are on the list?
22:23You're not on the list.
22:24I'm on the list.
22:24Oh, wow.
22:25You're on the list.
22:26OK.
22:27Yes.
22:29But you thought for a while you weren't on the list.
22:31Well, I was not.
22:32I was not originally on the list.
22:34But then I talked to Tom Cruise's nephew.
22:37LAUGHTER
22:38And I said, you know, hey, what's up with the cake?
22:41Right, right.
22:42And I was like, you didn't get the cake?
22:43I was like, I didn't get the cake.
22:44He was like, OK, don't worry about it.
22:45And then I got a phone call that said there was a package
22:48at my doorstep.
22:50Ooh.
22:50And I rushed home.
22:51Is that a euphemism?
22:54LAUGHTER
22:55Well, after I got that package, that was another package.
22:58And that was a coconut cake.
22:59Wow.
23:00Because you've worked with Tom Cruise as well.
23:01Yeah, I never got a bloody cake, no.
23:04LAUGHTER
23:04Did you get a cake?
23:05No, I never worked with him.
23:07Oh, well, then, that's fine.
23:08It makes me feel slightly better.
23:10LAUGHTER
23:11Is that kind of coconut cake?
23:12It's coconut cake.
23:13You like coconut?
23:14Yeah.
23:15OK.
23:15But I'm vegan, so probably I wouldn't be able to have it.
23:18Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's not vegan.
23:20He must send out thousands of cakes.
23:23It seems like everybody, maybe I just watch your show a lot,
23:25but it seems like everybody on your show has got a cake from Tom Cruise.
23:29Do you get one, too?
23:30I won!
23:30Bish!
23:39I'll send you a slice, Alan.
23:42Is it nice?
23:43Yeah, no, it's very nice.
23:44It's delicious.
23:44And I don't know what's in it, but it lasts for a really long time.
23:47Oh.
23:47Did you notice that?
23:48Yeah, of course.
23:49Yeah, months.
23:50Stays.
23:52You'll get one, Nicola.
23:53You'll get one.
23:53One day.
23:54She doesn't want one.
23:57Nicola Coughlin's latest drama is I Am Helen.
24:00Now, this starts on Monday the 16th of November at 9pm,
24:04and the second part is on Tuesday the 17th at 9.15,
24:08and both parts are on Channel 4.
24:11So, I guess, let's start with who is Helen?
24:13So, Helen, it's a very unusual project.
24:16The I Am series are a series created by Dominic Savage,
24:19who is a filmmaker, and he...
24:22You sort of come up with the story together,
24:24but all the dialogue is completely improvised.
24:28So, it was completely... Oh, it was terrifying.
24:30Oh, I bet.
24:30Yeah, it was funny,
24:31because I don't suffer from nerves very much.
24:33I'm very lucky in that respect,
24:34but every day I would go in and I'd feel sick,
24:37and I thought,
24:37can I pull a sickie today?
24:38I don't know if I can do this.
24:39And they deal with quite tough subject matter.
24:42So, this is a couple, Helen and Steve,
24:44who's played by Joe Cole,
24:45and they've been together about five years,
24:47and at the very beginning, it's sort of...
24:49It's in an intimate moment, things take a turn,
24:51and then it sort of develops from that.
24:53Listen, we've got a clip of the trailer.
24:55This is you and Joe Cole in I Am Helen.
25:02You're so good in it.
25:04Really great, isn't it?
25:05And you're following in really impressive footsteps.
25:10Oh, ridiculous.
25:11The I Am, it's been Kate Winslet,
25:12Vicky McClure, Leslie Mandel.
25:14Sam Morton.
25:15Yeah.
25:16So, yeah, that was also sort of like,
25:17when can I quit?
25:19You want to go, I can't do it, I need to go home.
25:21But Dominic's amazing.
25:22And so, it's improvised dialogue,
25:24but also he works with you on the actual character, the story.
25:28It's a very unusual process, because you film, I think,
25:31I think it was three weeks we filmed for,
25:33and you film, we did a 75-minute take,
25:35which is just unheard of.
25:36Oh, my God.
25:37I mean, an extremely long take.
25:39I feel like five minutes would be an extremely long take.
25:42Yeah, that's long, yeah.
25:42But yeah, 75 minutes, and, you know, Dominic's sort of guiding you through.
25:45But you sort of really don't know what it is until you see it,
25:48because there's days of footage that aren't used,
25:50and, yeah, very unusual.
25:51Do you say things like,
25:52oh, is that okay, we're going to go back?
25:54Or, do you like...
25:55No.
25:55You just keep it the entire time.
25:56It's quite mad, yeah.
25:57And the way that Dominic works, you don't film on any set,
26:00so everything is a real...
26:01Any sets.
26:02Oh, yeah.
26:02So the flat we were in...
26:04Sorry.
26:05The flat that we were in was a real couple's flat who we met,
26:08and at one point during it,
26:10I was having this argument with Joe in character,
26:13and he sort of went and punched the fridge.
26:15He's an aluminium fridge and left a full fist mark in it.
26:18And then I was genuinely...
26:19It's quite stressful to film something like that,
26:21so I went and I got some water from the fridge and drank it,
26:23and afterwards the props department sort of said,
26:25well, that's actually the couple's water, you can't have that.
26:27And they thought, Joe cold-punched the fridge!
26:30That's not fair.
26:32And it's a really intense watch.
26:34It's very intense.
26:35Yeah, it really, really is.
26:36Yeah.
26:37On a lighter note, so that's on Channel 4 soon,
26:41but on a lighter note, you have another project coming up.
26:43You are in the next Only Murders in the Building!
26:46Yes!
26:46Oh, my God!
26:50It was...
26:52Honestly, that was very unexpected.
26:54It's a show I love and I watch with my mum at home
26:56and she's very picky about what she watches
26:58and we love it, watching it together,
26:59but I'd auditioned for something and my agent called me
27:01and I thought maybe it's something about that.
27:03She went, oh, you didn't get that.
27:04You were wrong for that,
27:04but this is an offer about something else.
27:06I went, okay.
27:06She said it's the sixth season of this show
27:08and I thought, what?
27:09And then it sort of started filming like the next week or something
27:12and I'm sort of sat at this table across from Steve Martin
27:15and Martin Short and Selena Gomez
27:16and I'm like, what's going on?
27:18I mean, it's a ridiculous cast, that green room.
27:20I was sat there one day and I had Olivia Colman to my right
27:24and Richard E Grant and Gerry Halliwell and Steve Martin.
27:27I thought...
27:27And I was like, what is this like?
27:28And I was like, oh, it's Madame Tussauds.
27:31It's too weird.
27:32Everyone's too famous and it's too wild, but it was amazingly good fun.
27:36And is everyone a bit...
27:37Because they are all such big stars.
27:39Yeah.
27:39Is it fun at all?
27:42It's genuinely really fun.
27:43But, God, Steve and Marty have the most stamina of anyone I've ever...
27:47Like, they never complain.
27:49They never...
27:49They always have dinner plans.
27:51I'm, at the end of the day, I'm, like, being lifted out of the chair.
27:54Oh, my God, I'm so tired.
27:55Marty's like, I'm going for dinner with Goldie Hawn.
27:57And you're like, Jesus, fair play to you.
28:00It's just incredible.
28:02Yeah, it really was so much fun.
28:04I loved it.
28:05Talking of American icons, Judy, you got to work with one in SEO Trot.
28:11Do you remember SEO Trot, the movie?
28:13It's the one by the tortoise.
28:14Oh, yes.
28:15Oh, yes.
28:16Oh, yes.
28:17Oh, yes, the tortoise.
28:19Yes.
28:19And Dustin Hoffman.
28:21And Dustin Hoffman.
28:22You look like that really, really.
28:24Oh, there you are.
28:27And now...
28:28Am I?
28:28It's you in an elevator looking cute.
28:30Is the tortoise there?
28:32No, no tortoise.
28:33Well, it might be on the ground.
28:34Dustin Hoffman.
28:34We don't know.
28:35But now, you liked working with Dustin because he was the right height.
28:39Oh, yes.
28:41Is that right?
28:41That's not why I like the tortoise.
28:44No, but it was lovely not having to do that.
28:49All the time.
28:51It was lovely to almost be able to look straight.
28:54Do you have to stand on boxes a lot?
28:56Yes, you do.
28:57Oh, yes.
28:59Do you have to stand on boxes a lot?
29:00Of course, yes.
29:01And they're called apple boxes.
29:03But sometimes they go, there's a half apple, a double apple or whatever.
29:06And then when they go for half a go, I'm not that short.
29:08Yes, that's just to trip you up.
29:09Yes, exactly.
29:11But, Judy, so you like acting opposite a smaller man, but then you...
29:15I wouldn't say you're obsessed.
29:16No, I like acting opposite a tall man too.
29:18Well, you certainly like tall men.
29:22Yes.
29:23You've developed this thing.
29:24You like having your picture taken with tall men.
29:26It's because I met a very, very beautiful painter called Mark Bradford,
29:33who is amazingly tall, and we had a photograph taken.
29:37Have you got that here?
29:38Yes, there you go.
29:40Well, you see, we had a photograph taken.
29:42Well, I can only say that I look like something that you throw for the dog.
29:48He's immensely tall.
29:49So now, I cannot resist...
29:52Yes, we've got a few of them.
29:54Oh, Lord, you haven't.
29:56This year with Stephen Fry.
29:58Yes.
29:59And this next man is Darren Moorcroft.
30:02He's the CEO of Woodland Trust.
30:04Yes, yes.
30:05He is very tall.
30:06And CEO of the Woodland Trust.
30:08Quite suitable, yes.
30:09Yes.
30:12Very good, isn't he?
30:16And I think you were getting on a plane recently,
30:19and you met a guy who works for BA.
30:21Oh, wow.
30:22Oh, my God.
30:25I'm just amazed they make a BA uniform that big.
30:30But there is a picture of me with somebody,
30:32a very tall man that I met at our local farm shop,
30:37and I don't know his name.
30:40All I can tell you is that just out of the picture
30:42is a very, very cross wife.
30:44Oh!
30:47Amazing.
30:48Livid.
30:49Because I'd gone up and said,
30:50do you mind if we have a photo?
30:51No, not you, sorry.
30:53LAUGHTER
30:55So you go up and, when you see a tall person,
30:57you go up and ask them...
30:58I'm afraid, yes, if they're exceptionally tall.
31:00Only exceptionally.
31:01OK.
31:01Well, there are a lot of them about.
31:03Oh, yeah, I know.
31:04LAUGHTER
31:06All right, the clocks you might have noticed have gone back,
31:09so it is time for the first Christmas movie of the season.
31:13Tramiel Tillman, yes.
31:15Tramiel Tillman brings us Ebeneezer.
31:17It's in cinemas from November the 13th.
31:20So, this is A Christmas Carol, but it's a kind of a...
31:23It's not quite what people expect, is it?
31:26No, it's a little different.
31:26It's a modern take on it, but it's still set in 1800s.
31:30Yeah.
31:30In London.
31:31Who do you play?
31:32I play Christmas Present.
31:33The Ghost Of?
31:34Oh, no, you are ghosts, aren't you?
31:36Oh, it's three ghosts.
31:37Am I a ghost now?
31:38No.
31:39LAUGHTER
31:39In the movie, no.
31:41When you just said Christmas Present, I thought,
31:42have I misremembered it?
31:43No.
31:43You're all ghosts.
31:44Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:45OK, yeah.
31:46So, it is kind of a darker take.
31:48It is.
31:49It is a very dark take.
31:50I mean, it's a ghost story.
31:52Yeah.
31:52You know, so we lean more into the spookiness of it.
31:55Yeah, there's kind of jump scares and it's good fun.
31:57Yeah, but it's fun.
31:58Yeah.
31:58It's still a family.
31:59And it is a great cast of people.
32:01Andrea Risborough is in it.
32:03Ian McKellen is in it.
32:04Yes.
32:04And as Scrooge, Ebeneezer Scrooge,
32:07Johnny Depp, who's kind of unrecognisable in this film.
32:10It's really fantastic, right?
32:12Yeah.
32:12Yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:13Well, we've got a clip.
32:14This is you as the Ghost Of?
32:15Christmas Present, teaching Ebeneezer Scrooge a lesson.
32:20APPLAUSE
32:24He's a bit saucy.
32:26Yeah.
32:26A saucy ghost.
32:27It is an odd thing.
32:29You know, you've got the full circle moment with your marching band.
32:32But also, you've been in A Christmas Carol more than once before.
32:36Several times.
32:37Several productions of A Christmas Carol, yeah.
32:39All around regional theatre.
32:40It's a big hit.
32:41That is weird, though, isn't it?
32:42Yeah.
32:42They love it in America.
32:43Oh, really?
32:44It's beautiful.
32:45It's one of those stories you can bring your families to.
32:48A story of redemption and love and joy.
32:50It's beautiful.
32:51We've got some pictures of you.
32:52Here you are in...
32:53This is Knoxville.
32:54Oh, wow.
32:54Yeah, yeah.
32:55Knoxville, Tennessee.
32:56I went to grad school there.
32:58Did you?
32:58Yeah, yeah, I did.
32:59University of Tennessee, Knoxville.
33:00I went to the...
33:01Yeah.
33:02I can't remember what role it was.
33:03Dirty weekend, dear.
33:06Wait, what happened in Knoxville, Tennessee?
33:08I don't know.
33:09Ah.
33:10Fair enough.
33:13It's also not far from Pigeon Forge.
33:15Dolly.
33:16Dollywood.
33:17Dollywood.
33:18Oh, I forgot to say that.
33:19We're doing 9 to 5, the musical.
33:20You said that.
33:21You did.
33:27It was a long time ago.
33:29I'm just panicking.
33:31No, you said it all.
33:33And of course...
33:34But, er...
33:35You had someone from BitLockery going,
33:37and you never mentioned...
33:39You did.
33:41Thank you, guys.
33:42And talking of acting, Judy Dench, you are becoming a theatre.
33:47Oh, yes, I am.
33:48You know this.
33:49Well, I'm not becoming.
33:51She's a theatre.
33:53Yes, it's true.
33:54You're going to be open to the public.
33:55LAUGHTER
34:01Which theatre is it?
34:03It's the Shaftesbury.
34:05Oh, wow!
34:07The Shaftesbury is becoming the Judy Dench.
34:09Oh!
34:09Yeah, it's a picture of it, yeah.
34:11Well, there we are.
34:12I've never played in it, but I remember seeing Mikey in Two Into One there,
34:17and I remember just crying with laughter,
34:20and that's the memory I've got of that theatre.
34:22Oh, isn't that lovely?
34:23It's a very nice memory to have.
34:25And is it going to be all the Dame Judy Dench or just Judy Dench?
34:28Don't ask me.
34:29LAUGHTER
34:30Do you know when it's happening?
34:32Soon.
34:32I think it's happening.
34:34Soon, right?
34:35I think.
34:35Wow.
34:36I think.
34:37OK.
34:37Well, we'll keep an eye out for it.
34:39If we're passing in the bus, keep an eagle eye on the building.
34:44That's so exciting, because they don't normally do it to people who are alive.
34:48Well, I quite agree.
34:49And there are women.
34:50Are there many women?
34:51No, and there's Maggie, and there's Joan Plowright,
34:54and there are a lot of people who should be...
34:58theatres should be named after, I think.
35:00I know, but them's the breaks.
35:01It's you.
35:03LAUGHTER
35:06Honoured.
35:07It's a lovely honour, Judy.
35:09And honestly, it couldn't happen to a nicer person.
35:11Congratulations.
35:12Judy Dench, everybody!
35:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:18OK.
35:19It is time for music.
35:21This man's breakout album in 2004, with its runaway hit song,
35:25You're Beautiful, made him one of the biggest British artists of the decade.
35:29Now performing circles from his new album, Airplane Mode,
35:32it is James Blunt!
35:34Come on over, James!
35:36Thank you so much for doing that.
35:38Oh, oh, oh.
35:39He's good, he's good.
35:40Hello, hello, hello.
35:42So great to see you.
35:43Hi, you all.
35:44Come on in.
35:45That's Jamal, Nicola, Alan, Judy.
35:50There you go.
35:51Lovely.
35:54There you go, chairs right there.
35:56Thank you so much for that.
35:57Thank you for letting me play, most people don't.
36:01What a thrill to be here.
36:02You stop that now.
36:04That is from the new album.
36:06Look at that.
36:07There it is.
36:08It's Airplane Mode.
36:09Out today, isn't it?
36:11Out today?
36:12Yeah, this very day.
36:13Happy release day to me.
36:14Now, Airplane Mode, you didn't...
36:16Why...
36:16So what?
36:17You weren't going to call it Airplane Mode?
36:18No, I actually wanted to call it, well, you know, James Blunt, Reason to Die.
36:23I thought that was rather ironic and perfect.
36:26But my record label laughed at me and my manager said he would stop working with me if I did.
36:30So it's called Airplane Mode.
36:32OK, Britom.
36:33And what I like about you, because you say what's on your mind, you love this album.
36:38I really do.
36:39I mean, you know, every new album you say it's my best album yet.
36:42But this is.
36:43LAUGHTER
36:45I like this thing.
36:46So you had your greatest hits out last year.
36:48Did you feel like that was kind of a line...?
36:50Well, it's more than a line, isn't it?
36:51Because, you know, your greatest hits is released when you die.
36:54And my record label didn't realise I was still alive.
36:59And so, yeah, but for me it means I am free of all the pressures from a record label
37:03and from radio singles, and so this is all gravy.
37:06OK, lovely.
37:07And a gorgeous song, absolutely lovely.
37:09Thank you so much.
37:10Now, got to, obviously, want Traitors.
37:13Well, I've flogged the album enough now.
37:14Yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:15And now you just want to know about Traitors' Day.
37:16Well, even the song Circles immediately brings to mind a round table.
37:21So...
37:21Absolutely.
37:22You've done it yourself.
37:23I'm having a slight bit of kind of Traitors' Trauma even looking at you here.
37:27We're triggering you.
37:28Absolutely.
37:29Because, yes, because you do...
37:30James, you have received the most votes and I'm banished again.
37:35You did eventually get that.
37:37Eventually, yeah.
37:37Were you surprised to get as far as you did?
37:39Yes, very much.
37:40I mean, I had...
37:41We certainly were.
37:42I had...
37:45I had hoped to be Hercule Poirot and instead ended up as Inspector Clouseau.
37:51Which was painful.
37:52But you'll have to say, you are a victim.
37:54You're a victim to the edit.
37:56And they edited out all my jokes just to try and make those comedians seem funny.
38:00Yeah.
38:02But they didn't edit out all your correct guesses.
38:07You took it so seriously.
38:09It was very serious.
38:10It was adorable.
38:11It was adorable.
38:12But people are accusing you of murder and things like that.
38:14So, whenever anyone accused me of murder, I really wanted to kind of grab a fork and stab them.
38:19Yeah.
38:20But it is actually psychological torture.
38:25Very much.
38:25You know what I mean?
38:26You're in this bubble.
38:27You don't have your phones.
38:28You're just...
38:29You know what I mean?
38:29You're in this kind of cocoon.
38:31Yeah.
38:31And you have nothing else to think about except the game of Traitor.
38:35So, you go mad.
38:36But also, the thing I would say, and I think you'll all agree, is often people take control in the
38:43Challengers and they're rubbish.
38:46You took control and you were brilliant at the Challengers.
38:48You're kind to take control.
38:49What?
38:56Taking control is one way of describing it.
38:57My wife described it as being bossy.
39:00But, yeah, you know, they're long-haired civilians who need to get a grip of them.
39:04Yeah.
39:06And so it was Ross and myself giving instruction.
39:10But, you know, it was such a joy, such a pleasure.
39:12Actually, a mission is such a nice time to get out of the kind of psychological warfare of the castle
39:16and escape into the beautiful Scottish islands.
39:18But also, so, you know, keeping the secret of the whole thing, did you tell your wife at least what
39:24had happened?
39:25No, I really didn't.
39:26You know, you're told not to tell anyone so they might enjoy the show.
39:29And I got home and didn't tell her anything for months until it was broadcast.
39:32And when she watched the last thing, she turned around and said, I thought you'd won.
39:35Aww.
39:37And she's so disappointed with me now.
39:39Aww.
39:40We were all a bit disappointed.
39:44Your little face.
39:45When the others voted green, you could see your face going, eh.
39:48I've really cocked it up again.
39:50I've cocked it up again.
39:52Yeah.
39:53Consistent, consistent.
39:54Exactly.
39:55Yeah.
39:55And you are going on tour to sing to the people.
39:58Yeah, you're going to come to all the shows.
39:59I am.
40:00You know, I'm there.
40:01I'm in the mosh pit every time.
40:02Yeah.
40:03Bingo.
40:04Do you like crowd surfers?
40:05Oh, I know you do.
40:06That's why I don't go near the front.
40:09Yeah, I'm going on tour from March and February rather than March.
40:13I'll be in the UK.
40:13So do come along.
40:14I'll see you all there.
40:15Marvellous.
40:17James, lovely to see you again.
40:19Good luck in the album of the tour.
40:21And thank you for that great performance.
40:22James Blunt, everybody.
40:23Thank you for being here tonight.
40:28That is nearly it.
40:29We'll be going just time for a quick visit to the big red chair.
40:32Who do we have?
40:33Hello.
40:34Hello.
40:35You're on.
40:36What's your name?
40:36My name's Debbie.
40:38Debbie, lovely.
40:38And where are you from, Debbie?
40:39I'm from Lytham St. Anne's.
40:41OK.
40:41And what do you do there?
40:43I am a full-time grandma.
40:45OK, lovely.
40:46How many grandchildren?
40:47Just the two.
40:48OK, but full-time.
40:51She's being a granny right now.
40:53OK, off you go with this story, Debbie.
40:55Well, my story starts a long time ago.
40:57It was a very hot summer's day.
40:59Oh, yes.
40:59And we went off to B&Q because we had a leaky tap.
41:03Mm, yes.
41:03And I dressed in...
41:04I was going to say, God is in the details, but...
41:07Well, I went off and I had Kylie shorts on and I had a strap top
41:12around here and my Ray-Bans and I thought it looked amazing.
41:16And off we went and we was in B&Q and I had a little itch
41:20and I took my thumb and I scratched the back of my back and boom.
41:23And the next minute there was some guys at the end of the aisle
41:28and they said,
41:28Hey, come and have a look.
41:30Judi Dench has got a Frippnis out here.
41:33LAUGHTER
41:33LAUGHTER
41:35And I said...
41:36Oh, no!
41:38LAUGHTER
41:43She's a theatre!
41:46Judi Dench is a theatre!
41:48I'm not having that dirty talk about you, Judi Dench.
41:51I apologise.
41:53Appalling.
41:54All right, that is really all we've got time for.
41:55Please say thank you to all of my guests.
41:57James Blunt, everybody!
41:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:00Jamelle Tillman!
42:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:04Nicola Coughlin!
42:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:08Alan Cumming!
42:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:11And Dame Judi Dench!
42:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:14Join me next week with music guest Noah Khan,
42:17comedian Rob Brydon, Ozark star Laura Linney,
42:20Scotland's finest, no offence, David Tennant,
42:22and the wonderfully wicked Cynthia Erivo.
42:25I'll see you then. Good night, everybody. Buh-bye!
42:26Buh-bye!