00:00all right have you ever done something evil yes if so was it a one-time thing or
00:12did you get a taste of the dark side and become a full-on villain yes in a new poll they asked
00:19americans that have you ever done something evil and how evil are you 47 of americans claim they
00:27have never done anything they considered evil i guess pretty harsh i guess what is where's the
00:33bar right that's exactly it because i don't think i've done anything evil i think i've been a nuisance
00:39yeah have i made the right call every time probably not but i'd not i wouldn't say it's been
00:45evil evil to me evil to me is dark that is dark and i don't think i've ever done anything dark
00:51i've just cost people money probably when i shouldn't have
00:55be even asked this question it's probably too dark oh yeah that's why you always dark
01:01i know sorry lisa have you ever done something you consider evil
01:06like 10 of americans have what do they consider evil well i mean yeah so i mean we could be like
01:13stealing someone's phone charger to murder stealing someone's phone charger i don't think is evil it's
01:19not great but it's not never do it you know why would i steal someone's phone charger
01:25i might just do it for the laughs um like theft like is that stealing something be considered
01:31evil i don't think so from like a business or if it was a small business struggling to stay
01:37afloat yeah i never thought of it that way that's evil see that's what i'm saying you know i've done
01:44some pretty bad things what have you done you would consider evil and you can be anonymous and if you
01:50must you can ask for voice changing technology if it's truly evil it's a bad idea it's a bad start
01:55i think it's a bad start yeah look it's a bad start already did this one time did he he did and a serial
02:03killer called in really yes 100 yes yeah yeah you can so hear it that's uh you know just that's where
02:11this could go dave just so you know just so you know i can't even read it it's that evil it's really
02:19evil but if someone has had a lot of people oh no it's not good whoa what turns out a lot of evil
02:27people listen to this show what holy hell no surprise no that's the bar like the bar not all
02:35these people are serial killers and stuff no but i thought about i just oh i had some really evil
02:40things just hit me not that i've done but that i could that when you were like oh it would upset you
02:46i instantly thought of like three or four different things that if i was like oh if someone called in
02:51and said they did this i'd be super pissed and so would lisa voice changing technology as we head
03:01to the dave and chuck lines anonymous joins us what have you done that you consider evil
03:06i was in college and uh one of my roommates was pretty nasty to me i came home and she had one of
03:17her friends jizz all over my pillow i found out by reading her diary because it was open
03:24and so the next day i had a cold sore outbreak i took a q-tip wiped some of the residue or pus
03:34onto her underwear a week later her girlfriend came and she had uh herpes on her face oh my god
03:44my god you gave someone genital herpes yeah and then facial pretty yep yeah yeah there you go
03:52yep there you go that's a good that's a fine example yeah that's a fine example you can't get
03:59rid of that you can't get rid of that imagine taking a q-tip to your bus yeah i can't imagine that
04:07wild times i mean but she did have jazz pillow it's not the same no one likes a jazz no one likes
04:16a jazz pillow but some people do but most people a lifelong affliction is evil that's evil hated my
04:26stepmom this person said so i stuck her toothbrush in my poop
04:29oh man that by the way has come up several times the toothbrush see that's why i locked my toothbrush
04:42in the safe yeah lock it in the safe yeah get a safe in your house put a safe in your house
04:49sometimes you never know your kids get upset i don't make your kids mad oh my god oh chuck knows
04:56i know chuck knows i know uh next one i burned down a pavilion just bad why that you don't consider
05:04that evil not really were there people in there no god it's a little fire now arson arson's not great
05:14uh voice changing technology as a guy we'll call bob here hi bob you hope hi guys uh tell us what
05:23have you done you would consider evil oh uh well my old boss knocked me off of a roof because i was
05:30changing companies and hold on back up a second hold on hold on you were changing companies so your boss
05:38knocked you knocked you off a roof yeah he threw a two by four in my back wow and so i fell down and
05:46landed on bags of concrete two by fours and then a couple of weeks later when i healed up i burned
05:52down his garage with all of his work stuff in there and his classic like 1964 boss mustang whatever it
05:58was too much information too much information too much information arson
06:04keep the details out oh wow we're gonna have to keep these numbers yeah i know i'm gonna be calling
06:10and asking like oh no but he did i mean his boss did knock him off a roof with a two by four i don't
06:16know if that we don't know if it's like an eye for an eye sort of thing when you're burning down
06:20people's garages man it's like a crime all i'm saying i don't feel that bad for the boss no he almost
06:26killed the guy no because he was switching jobs i was never here you can't just say it that doesn't
06:32make it real yes it does i was never here either no okay i was never here then no one was no none
06:39of us we didn't do that that show didn't exist feels good right yeah it's freeing i mean lisa
06:44wishes she was oh me too me too totally different thing um back here on the dave and chuck lines what
06:52have you done you would consider evil voice changing anonymous this anonymous lady is joining us next go
06:59ahead anonymous good morning so i had an ex that decided to cheat on me with somebody way younger
07:06and way out of his league so he had an ex-girlfriend that was extremely toxic so i talked to his i'm
07:14sorry her ex-boyfriend who was way younger and a couple years younger than the girl that he cheated
07:21on me with we hung out one night and he sent him pictures and got him back oh wow so by hanging
07:30so you got with his friend yes i got with his ex-girlfriend's ex-boyfriend i see i see yep
07:38what it's a hard one okay so i have done something evil uh-oh i've done this segment
07:45yeah i agree i'm glad that you admitted that i agree i mean i i'm very upset to admit that
07:54that i even that was a big step go ahead and do it it was a big step but yeah i realize it
07:59kind of knew it i think it's been great you were not even here though so
08:04you don't know who's talking no some of the ones you're putting up here are wild man i can't put
08:1090 of them up no because it's just not you are are wild i can't read those are the closest to
08:17everything else is like everything is real so evil so like we honestly had many many oh horribly
08:24terribly evil things like if your mind goes to what would we never talk about like what's not funny
08:30in any way right right it's like all the real police baby yes like but that's what happens when
08:37you ask a question like that yeah so those are the best but it's a comedy show but that's not
08:42i know and that's the problem to talk about evil things that people do right i see you just let
08:48these rip not the worst so let one rip no jason no okay i was never here captain bad idea over there
08:57i thought i was captain bad idea he's my first mate i'm trying to do something i know that's it
09:03because it's like you know lame and then it's like well you know that we have these good ones
09:09that are in the back but you can't even talk about them here's a few just not funny i was a priest
09:13okay let's go on a regular line okay how this goes make it or break it make it or break it all right
09:27a lot of pressure hello hello can i say your name yeah absolutely okay ashley uh what have you done
09:36you would consider evil so my ex uh cheated on me a few times so i hooked up with his grandpa
09:43and his grandpa was totally down for it it was kind of cool wow what did you what grandpa you went
09:52all the way to grandpa well what'd you and grandpa get up to you know what they did
09:56uh nothing too crazy i didn't want to give him a heart attack yeah just missionary
10:02yeah yeah you don't need to ask the details we don't need to get into this i have no idea what's
10:08going on right now i have no idea
10:11this show's crazy i don't know what's happening really i don't know i don't either
10:16please help please
10:19lisa's calling the police i mean hot
10:21it's like sounded like
10:24like i don't know how young that person even i don't want to ask i'm glad dave didn't so i'm glad
10:31that that was not asked me oh my god guys well so yeah so one time howard stern
10:38what did howard do on his radio just talked to this serial killer the whole time and then i got
10:43we had a killer call in too before remember i believe so and that i actually did police did
10:50want yeah yeah yeah because that is one of the things i mean maybe i don't know if everyone knows
10:55that but uh you know if you call in you're like yeah i murdered a guy uh guess who calls us and guess
11:02what has to happen the police yeah call the police call the police baby like your voice changing
11:08only saves you so much you know and he's one that'll hit you right where it hurts chuck
11:13uh-huh destroyed my neighbor's star wars boba fett lego ship that took him months to build evil
11:21pure evil busted it into pieces pure evil evil thing you've heard today no what would be really
11:27evil is what i did after that it's when chuck goes john wick yeah exactly you hear me like banging
11:34on something in my basement like what's he doing oh he's getting all his weapons
11:37yeah i gotta burn him alive tonight you all right over there jason he's not okay yeah i'm still trying
11:45to filter him off unless you want me to stop i'm just reading all this stuff have we ever heard back
11:50from that pretzel loving man from earlier this morning that would be a great update i would love
11:54that that would be a great update i'll call him and ask him if they're if they need any help over
12:01there if you don't know what we're talking about you have to listen yeah download the podcast and
12:07subscribe on youtube the first hour can we just do an update on the pretzel man with the pretzel
12:13i'm so sick of this it's such a bad idea just call the pretzel guy because that was cool we find out
12:24about his favorite pretzel
12:29she does he wants i know that's again i get it whatever i get it
12:33i get it too i do well we'll take a break then yeah i might as well you evil
12:38bitches and bastards yeah man there's a lot of dark-sided people listen to the show yeah you knew
12:43it you knew it
Comments