00:07in an effort to get the show back on the rails. We're going to dear John. Yeah. Yeah. I got
00:12my
00:12serious hat on now. You need to give people advice on storage leftovers. Oh, and dating advice for
00:22their son. Okay. And by the way, if we don't get to your question, we were flooded over the last
00:27week. Send them in dearjohnjansen at gmail.com. We will get to them at some point. Okay. We
00:32start with storage. Dear John, how long should empty nesters give their adult children to
00:37get their stuff out of the house when they move out? My wife thinks the kids should be
00:42able to take up space even though they're already out of the nest or left the house. She's in
00:47her forties, but still salty about her dad making her move things out of her childhood
00:51bedroom. Oh, wait a second at 40 years old. The kid is 40 years old. No, I think he's
00:59saying my wife thinks the kids will take up space. My wife is in her forties. She's salty
01:04about her dad making her move things out of her childhood bedroom. Um, once you get your
01:09own space, if there is anything left in the house that is not sentimental to me or that
01:16I don't want to then gift to any eventual kids that you would have, like we've got some
01:21stuff right now. The American girl dolls. Yes. Three oldest are daughters. We did the whole
01:26American girl doll and it looks like them and we got beds, we got houses, we got all this
01:30stuff. I have them boxed up. If they don't want to take those, then I would like, if they
01:36have daughters would love to be able to present them at some point with this was the American
01:41girl doll. I got your mom. Other than some of the sentimental stuff, like a, you got your
01:47own space, get your stuff out of our house and it's yours. If you don't want it, then
01:53you can decide to put it in a storage unit. You can decide to donate it or throw it away,
01:58whatever you want. But so I'm guessing like, what kind of stuff are we talking about here?
02:03The junk that's left over? Yeah. Anything that again, if it's not of sentimental value to
02:10me. And so your clothes, get it out. Your shoes, your, anything that you had in your
02:17room, it goes. Furniture? Yeah. Yeah. If kids have furniture, that's theirs. In their bedroom,
02:24that's, yeah. You're not going to take it. But the bed, like I don't want an empty room.
02:28Right. I still want to make it a guest room. So if you're not going to take the bed, then
02:33at that point it becomes mine. Yes. And now it's a guest room. I totally agree. I mean,
02:39if you went to your house, your parents' house, is it the house you grew up in? No. So they've
02:44moved. So it'd be different. But yeah, I think your bedroom, it shouldn't look like your bedroom
02:48once you move out. Like your parents have the right to then turn it into a workout room
02:52or a crafting room or whatnot. So not move out to go to college. Move out to start your
02:56career and you're an adult. But the sentimental stuff, my mom just brought over a box of all my
03:03old American Girl dolls. And I am so excited to give them to Emily. She needs to be a little
03:09bit older, I think, to take care of them. But so they had been at my mom's house in
03:13a box in the basement. Yeah. And I just got them. So things like that, I feel like can
03:18stay. Yeah.
03:20But it's not like taking up room in a bedroom. Yeah. I still have some of their individual
03:27baby clothes. Not a lot, but like one little container for each one. Every once in a while
03:33when I'm going through and I'm cleaning things out, I open it up and I'm like, oh, I remember
03:36Ellie wearing all these crazy designs and all that stuff. So to give you a number, it's,
03:43I don't know, graduating college. So 22 to 25 ish. Once you become a professional and
03:51have a paying job, you are out of the house. And so is the rest of your crap.
03:58So there are people who are out of school, but living at home still.
04:01You see, I'm against that as well, but that's a different topic.
04:04I think definitely once they have physically made their residence somewhere else.
04:08Yeah. Yeah. You get six months to get your own place after graduation. And then
04:13after that, it's move on. All right. This one is leftovers. Dear
04:17John, my wife and I have an ongoing debate over how long leftovers are good for. She
04:22says two days max. I say they're fine up to a week, depending on what it is. Sometimes
04:27I'll get excited for a lunch of leftovers in the fridge only to discover that my wife has
04:31thrown them out. She says she's looking out for my health. I point out that I only got
04:36my iron stomach from sometimes eating food that might have been questionable. What do you
04:41say, John Jansen? I say a week. Now, if it's fish, I'd say I'd probably give it a day or
04:50two.
04:51Other than that, I think everything else is good for a week. If you've cooked it and you're going
04:56to nuke it or we'll heat it up on the stove and the air fryer, I think things are good
05:02up to a week,
05:03even 10 days. I have no issue unless I see something growing on it. And there's a good
05:10chance I even just remove those pieces and still consume. But I understand your wife's point of view.
05:18You just need to express to her that she made such a great meal and you want to savor it
05:25for as long
05:26as possible. If it was a great meal, eat it before the week. Sure. Or unless there's just that much
05:31leftover. I think leftovers can last for quite a while, depending on what it is. I'm typically not
05:37a very good leftover eater. So leftovers sit there for a while and then they sit there and then they
05:42have to get thrown out because I just don't. But I am very much an expiration date person.
05:48Oh, see, yeah. If there's a date on yogurt, like, oh, it goes bad on October 13th. I don't eat
05:54it on
05:54October 14th. I put it in the trash. Well, but there's a difference in sell by. There is. Right.
06:00And I'm more of a, let's give it a taste. And if it tastes the way it did when it
06:04came home from the
06:05store, then I'm still going to eat it. But sour milk is disgusting. Yeah. I mean, I've been bit with
06:10that one a couple of times, but that's why you take a sip. You don't take a gulp. I think
06:15more with that
06:16expiration date is dairy based product. Yeah. I'm pretty stingy about that. Yeah. Here's the
06:21other thing. Ask your wife to just say, hey, it's been two days. Are you going to eat this? Because
06:27my wife likes to clean out the fridge because she's creating more leftovers. You got to have
06:32space for those. You got to have the containers for them. Just ask. And if I am planning on eating
06:36it, you say, yes, I am planning on eating that tomorrow. If I don't eat it, then we can discard
06:41of
06:41it. Yeah. Just ask before you pitch it. Last question. Dating advice for
06:46my son, dear Heather and John. Oh, so I'm excluded from this. I'm a single mother raising
06:54a 12 year old. And unfortunately, his biggest role model is my 32 year old brother whom we
06:58live with. My brother rate makes ridiculous money, drives a muscle car and somehow juggles
07:04three women at once. Oh boy. My son thinks he's a legend. Recently, my son found out that
07:10he likes a girl at school and that she has a crush or found out a girl at school has
07:14a crush
07:14on him. Instead of coming to me, he went straight to his uncle and I overheard my brother telling
07:18him, listen, little man, girls are like cars. You got to test drive a few before you find
07:24the right one. Now my son is walking around the house wearing his uncle's sunglasses, spraying
07:28himself with cologne and yesterday asked if he could get an increase on his allowance because
07:32quote, dating is expensive. I love my brother and he's great with my son, but I don't want
07:38my child growing up thinking women are Pokemon and the goal is to catch them all. How do I
07:44explain that his uncle might be rich, handsome and drive a beautiful car, but his love life
07:47is basically a Jerry Springer episode with heated leather seats. What actual dating advice
07:54should I give my son before he becomes the sixth grade Hugh Hefner? Sincerely, a single
07:59mom trying to raise a gentleman in a house full of testosterone and terrible decisions.
08:03Well, I mean, yeah, uncle is a legend. There's no doubt about that. However, a 12 year old
08:13is not dating and like you've got it. You've got to take it for what it is. He is starting
08:19to become interested in the opposite sex. And so, yes, you talk to your son and you talk
08:27to your brother. All right. Hey, if my son comes to you, you need to let me know and I
08:34will have those discussions. If my son comes to you say, you know what? I do have an opinion
08:39on this, but this is a topic that I think is best that you talk to your mom about. So
08:45the discussion isn't just with your son. It is with your brother. His lifestyle may not
08:51be one that you want to set your son up for. And while it has in some way worked or
08:58not
08:58worked for her brother, it doesn't have to be the way that your son views dating or views
09:05women.
09:07That's great advice. I mean, I don't, I don't have all the answers. I don't have, I haven't
09:12gone through any of this. I know you have your, your kids are older than mine, but I get there's
09:18always going to be that like uncle or whoever it is. And I think you just, she's probably
09:23doing a great job. It's tough to, I can only imagine how hard it is to be a single mom,
09:26but you teach them like proper manners and how, how to, uh, you can still, I don't know
09:33what I'm trying to say, but like, it's like yesterday we're walking out of soccer class
09:36and the three of us are approaching a door and I told Teddy, I'm like, you know, Hey, let
09:43your mom go first. It, we always let the ladies go first. And you know, Lisa had a
09:49little chuckle, but those are moments where you start teaching the way that you want your
09:56son or daughter to be acting.
09:58And she can do that even without her brother there, you can still teach those things, how
10:03to be kind, the manners, how you treat people without being a man yourself. Like she can still,
10:09and it sounds like she's probably doing that. She probably is. I also wonder, are there other
10:13male role models around besides just the uncle? Cause that's how you can get a diversity of
10:18opinion. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and obviously the uncle likes variety. Here's what you do. You go
10:22back and watch about 10 episodes of cheers, but the last one you show them is the one where it
10:26ends
10:26up being that Sam loves the bar more than anything else in his life. And he's kind of sad.
10:31Sam alone was the player of all players. Yeah. Or he could use two and a half men too with
10:36Charlie.
10:36I mean, you really want to be this might looks like fun, but it's old, right? He's 12. He's
10:4412. You're going to tell 12 year old cheers. I watched it when I was seven. Yeah. No, I
10:52think it's just, it have honest conversations with both parties involved with your brother
10:56specifically. Cause his actions can speak louder than his words. And he's clearly rubbing
11:00off on the kid. Yeah. All right. That's dear John. Send them in dear John Jansen at gmail.com.
11:06It's 97 one.
