00:00So, I don't know about you guys, but I have recently gone through a breakup.
00:06Recently? Recently, yeah. I'm sorry. It's all right, it's okay. This is the R29 chat room.
00:12I'm Wembley. I'm Landon. And I'm Laura. And today we're talking about breakups.
00:18Boo. Obviously there are all of these like fun changes that can come out of
00:22breakups. Some amazing things can happen, but first you have to deal with it I
00:27think emotionally and mentally and how do you guys do that? For me, I always try
00:33to remind myself that it's an opportunity to obviously love myself more than I
00:37did before, but also remember why I was fine without that person. You either are
00:43actually really sad that this person who brought so many unique things into your
00:48life is gone and so now your life is, you know, the light is gone in a sense, but or
00:54you have to remember, or you have to remember, I mean truly, the world can seem like quite
01:01dark after someone leaves you, you know? I do the same thing where I'm just like mad and
01:06then I'm sad and then I hate everything and I'm going to break everything, but then I start
01:12to channel my sadness into the most creative stuff. Just like being able to be like, okay,
01:17now this is the point in which you're going to like learn something. I give myself probably
01:22like a week of being super emo, I would say. I don't know about you guys, but then it's
01:27like almost like this weird period of time where you're like, nothing happened. What?
01:31What are you talking about? Where you just like kind of don't feel anything? Yeah. I don't know,
01:35like that weird time. Well, I think you guys have great stories, but also if you guys out
01:40there have stories about how you like deal with breakups, we'd love to hear them. Comment below,
01:44feel free. But I think another thing that has been kind of racking my brain is like,
01:52have you ever broken up with someone and then regretted it? Like it was a huge mistake? No.
01:59Really? Not at all. And I like, I'm sitting here being like, like thinking of the breakups,
02:05I'm like, no, they all deserved it. Wow. I bet it's really embarrassing, but I've never had the chance
02:13to break up with someone because I always get broken up with. That's not embarrassing. That's not
02:16embarrassing at all. This sounds weird, but I kind of like almost like push it to the point
02:20where I know it's going to happen. Like, like start doing things that make them want to end it,
02:24if that makes sense. I do things to test their, to see if they'll stay. To see if, and I
02:28think I regret having
02:30those behaviors and those tendencies instead of just being mature enough to be like, okay,
02:34this is going to suck, but I just have to rip it like a bandaid. I think there have been
02:38a couple
02:38moments, like I mentioned that I was kind of close or I considered it, but then the fear of
02:46potentially missing them when they're gone just made me, like rendered me petrified. Yeah. Yeah.
02:52Like I, so then I just thought like, you know what? I'm not big enough to do it. They'll probably
02:57do
02:57something again that then will like, you know, somehow steer them in a direction away from
03:03me. And they always do. Conversely, do you think anyone has broken up with you and then
03:10regretted it? Yeah. Yeah. Give it six to seven months of not speaking to each other. They always
03:16came back. Because I think people, they, they, they grow up a little bit, even if it's just
03:21two or three months, they start getting back. No, they don't grow up. They don't grow up.
03:25What they do is they go and try to date other people and then they realize they're not you.
03:30Okay. Right. And then they miss you and then they finally realize what was so great about
03:32you. But then they haven't changed and then it doesn't work out again. I've done this many, many, many times.
03:37Clearly I try and like hope for the best. Do you do this stalking on social media?
03:43I think like that ignorance is blessed in a way. I just, I don't even want to have anything to
03:48trigger or like be
03:49close to pushing those buttons because it'll, I'll start to be like, well, who's that? Who's that? Was that their
03:54ex?
03:54So guys, we want to know, you're on social media probably right now. How do you guys deal
03:59with it when this kind of stuff arises? Feel free to comment below.
04:02Tell us all of your stories and tweets.
04:04Share the drama. The longer the better.
04:07I'll be here with this glass of wine.
04:10I'm single. I have the time to read it.
04:15Breakups are heavy. They're hard. Do you have any tips to make them a little
04:19bit more manageable? What do you do?
04:21My last breakup that was really bad and I was like, I'm going to ride to work every single day
04:26for a month.
04:27If this doesn't kill me, then this breakup won't kill me.
04:29And at the end of the month, I felt the breakup just seemed so far like in the distance for
04:34what I actually accomplished.
04:35So I think like, give yourself a task. Give yourself something new.
04:39Good for you. Kick ass.
04:40Thanks guys. Thank you.
04:41Keep self-help books with an arm's reach. It's super helpful. It's what they're there for.
04:47And then like when you're done, you can also be that friend who then helps your friends in a way
04:52that's actually impactful and resourceful.
04:55And I think when you allow yourself to really truly feel, you kind of learn a lot more about yourself
05:01and how you want to be moving forward.
05:04And also I think a lot about like what you will and won't let hurt you in a way too.
05:09I hope you guys enjoyed watching. Keep watching more and let us know what you think below.
