00:00True story, this is my best friend, and I met her on a dating app.
00:06I am a friend gal.
00:08I have collected them in droves my entire life.
00:11In fact, my parents often ridiculed me because every week, seemingly, I was introducing a
00:16new person as my best friend.
00:18I can still hear the voice of my dad saying, is she really your best friend, Hanny?
00:23I pride myself on my ability to maintain true female friendships.
00:28These girls have been my best friend since the age of two, and this is my OG squad from
00:34the sixth grade.
00:35All still best friends to this day.
00:38Lately, however, I've found myself feeling very lonely and best friendless.
00:41Every weekend, I see groups of women at boozy brunches, or shopping, or sitting talking in
00:46the park, and I envy them.
00:47How was I, who knows no strangers, suddenly lonely in a city full of fascinating people?
00:53More importantly, how the hell do you make friends once you're out of the safety net
00:57that was high school and college?
00:59Remember how easy it was to have playdates as a kid?
01:02You just sat down next to someone and shared Play-Doh.
01:05Why the fuck don't we have playdates anymore?
01:07I really want to find my New York City girlfriend soulmate.
01:11So it's like so much more difficult to be open to other people because I think, as you know,
01:20being in my 20s and trying to figure out who I am, I'm also putting that on the people who
01:25I associate with.
01:26How do you guys make friends then?
01:29How do we find people that share our interests and that are open to it?
01:34One of my closest friends right now in New York, I met at a Zumba class.
01:38So, maybe go take a class.
01:41Here's the problem with working out.
01:42I have SoulCycle taste with a YMCA budget.
01:46What's really cool is that I was able to volunteer at a school as like a co-teacher, which is
01:52really
01:52exciting because now I get to foster these like, you know, not kids, but like adults.
01:58So volunteering is like a really cool way to be a part of it and you can do it in
02:03multiple
02:03places.
02:03I signed up to volunteer at a nursing home and ended up making friends with the residents
02:07rather than my fellow volunteers.
02:09Not quite what I was going for, but looking forward to bingo once a month.
02:13After talking to my coworkers, I was dismayed but not defeated.
02:17I needed to attack this problem from a more current and interactive perspective.
02:21If people can find fuck buddies, boyfriends, for the love of Moses damn husbands on social
02:27media apps, there must be something for a lonely heart to find a platonic bestie.
02:32Enter Bumble BFF.
02:33No asses, dicks, vajayjays, or boobs.
02:36Just a treasure trove of potential lifelong besties to shoot the shit with.
02:40Since I've never been one to let a little insecurity stop me from doing something stupid,
02:44I plopped down in the kitchen and started swiping like a madwoman.
02:47Natty Light in hand, swipe left.
02:49Hump for Trump, swipe le- I'm just kidding.
02:51I really took the time to look through people's pictures to see if I could gauge a connection.
02:57My first Bumble date was at a bar on the Upper East Side with a girl whose name I can't
03:01even remember.
03:02I'm such a dick.
03:04My second Bumble date was actually really fun.
03:06We met during lunch when we found out that our offices were only a few blocks from one
03:10another and seemed to hit it off.
03:12She even sent me a package at work full of swag from her PR agency.
03:15My best friend sensors were flashing at the speed of light.
03:18That's so cool.
03:20But like many relationships that begin on apps, elation quickly faded to indifference.
03:25Just when I thought all hope was lost, Elizabeth and I matched.
03:29I decided to give it one more go and we met in the park one day after work.
03:32Right off the bat, sparks were flying.
03:34We talked dating and family and sondheim and sex and spicy tuna rolls.
03:40It was, to coin a phrase, an instant homance.
03:44I found her.
03:46I've got to admit, it felt super weird and almost anti-feminist swiping left and right
03:51on girls.
03:52But looking back, I'm so glad I did it and put myself out there.
03:56So I made so much fun of Hannah when I heard she was doing Bumble BFM because like, what
04:00is that?
04:01No, I mean, I thought it was crazy too.
04:03But after I started thinking about it, I was like, it's hard to meet people here, especially
04:07when you didn't grow up here.
04:08I mean, I moved from the South.
04:09I didn't know a lot of people, so I just figured, might as well try it out.
04:13And I was surprised by how many people were on there looking for friends too.
04:16The reason that it happened was because we were both really open to finding a really
04:20good friend.
04:21My friends do it for guys, so why not do it for girls?
04:23Yeah.
04:25And it worked!
04:26And it worked!
04:28Elizabeth is my New York City soulmate.
04:30We make the effort to see each other at least twice a week, sometimes more.
04:34We see shows together, we go out to eat together, we drink a lot of wine together, we even sing
04:39together.
04:40It took me nine months of living here to come to terms with being lonely.
04:44I had to deal with what was missing in me.
04:46But I am firmly and unapologetically a face your shit kind of girl.
04:50And I put myself out there, scared and vulnerable.
04:55The truth is we all feel the same things.
04:57We are paralyzed because we think our inadequacies are unique.
05:01They're not.
05:02Invite someone into your weird little world and see what happens.
05:06My conclusion?
05:07It is not easy to make friends as an adult.
05:11If you want new friends, you need to look with intention.
05:14My hope is that Elizabeth and I will remain friends for a lifetime.
05:18But I definitely still have open friend receptors.
05:21Who knows?
05:23Maybe you'll be my best friend.
