- 34 minutes ago
Munchies- Anthony Bourdain
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TravelTranscript
00:00I was in Bangkok and I get on the elevator, I try to get on the elevator on like the
00:0315th floor, the doors open, there's Steven Seagal in like a little Nancy Kwan outfit with a prayer rug holding
00:08his massive girth and two bodyguards are like, next elevator. It's like, what, what, what the fuck? It's a direct
00:16-to-video motherfucker, I can't take the same elevator, there's jowly fucking hair mo- what the fuck?
00:22Yeah, but I've talked a lot of shit about Steven Seagal lately, so if you see him tonight, that's what
00:30does it for, he's got a reach, get under his reach, get under his reach, get under his reach, just
00:36under the street, just under the street, next elevator, motherfucker.
00:49My name's Anthony Bourdain and I work with 0.0 Production making a television show called No Reservations. I travel
00:59around the world eating and drinking and making self-indulgent television.
01:02We have a core road crew. Diane Schutz, segment producer. Helen Cho, the director of social media. Zach Zamboni is
01:12a cinematographer and shooter, camera person. And then, of course, Tom Vitale, my sort of go-to producer. Basically, these
01:21are my partners in telling stories all over the world. These are the people who I spend most of my
01:26waking hours with. They're my closest associates and friends.
01:30I have something to present to you tonight. This is for you. You might need this later.
01:39That's sick. Let's go eat.
01:42I had no life outside of the restaurant business. I was at work all day and at night I would
01:46go out with other chefs and talk about business. So the transition to television in that regard isn't that much
01:54of a leap. What do I do? I work all day. My friends are the people I work with.
01:57And when we're not working and when we're not working, the cameras are off, we continue to eat and drink
02:01and talk about work. So there it is.
02:06We're going to Saluma Rio Rossi. Every once in a while, like, special treat day at the Wardane household. I'll,
02:12like, run over there and, you know, buy a big pile of meat.
02:17We're going to see the wizard. The wonderful wizard of meat.
02:30Thank you for hosting us.
02:31Hey, Cesare.
02:32Yeah, yeah.
02:32Cesare's an old friend. He's made a bunch of shows with us.
02:35Cesare, like a lot of the chefs I've come to know and who I've come to be close friends with,
02:39you know, as is so often the case in my fucked up, dysfunctional, but wonderful life, we started out as
02:47TV friends and became real friends.
02:48Are you old now? I think what we'd like is a pile of cured, a selection of cured meat.
02:54Okay.
02:55A little bit of cheese.
02:56Just split.
02:57Fantastic.
02:58Beautiful.
03:01Good cured meat is something that's always good. It won't be too punishing early on.
03:06We're going for the long haul here.
03:07Experience has taught me that it would have been a bad idea to start off with, like, you know, a
03:12pasta tasting earlier in the meal, followed by meat and more drink.
03:16I can't, I couldn't do that to my friends.
03:18Whoa.
03:20Okay, that's.
03:21Look at that.
03:22It's a low-impact place to grab really good food, and one of those places that I think are, just
03:27by existing, are good for the world.
03:29I mean, he makes and sells products there that other people either don't do, wouldn't do, or can't do as
03:37well.
03:37And, well, it's just a person and a place that I feel really connected to, you know.
03:42It's a happy day for me when I can go to the rest of the world.
03:46Delicious.
03:47So this is the fagioli rapini.
03:51Nice.
03:52I love that, man.
03:55See, this is something that's just irresistible to me.
03:58I'm happy now.
04:00This is exactly how I like to eat.
04:04Part of the process of making the show is tweeting about it and engaging with fans.
04:09We're all serial tweeters.
04:10You know, it's at the pathetic point.
04:12We are some sad motherfuckers here.
04:14Look at us.
04:15Look, look.
04:15Like a bunch of tweens.
04:17Right.
04:20So, the question I had in my mind tonight was, if any of you got, like, it's a big, big
04:25hunk of sauce or, like, mashed bean, like, hanging off your cheek, would I tell you?
04:32You know, Revenge for Season 2, there was one episode where I, like, had, like, a nostril hair, like, this
04:36long, you know, like, hanging out, you know, a crusty one too.
04:38Oh, you mean New Zealand?
04:40No, that was in Pakistan.
04:42I mean, everybody on the movie has to live with the likelihood that if they hit their head, you know,
04:49shit their pants, get arrested, that they will themselves end up on camera.
04:55But for a sustained night out with the camera relentlessly on them, were they uncomfortable?
05:03Who cares?
05:04I wallowed in their discomfort.
05:06We usually drink when we shoot, so feel free.
05:09Everybody we shot with is, like, such an old whore, production-wise.
05:13Zach, you can't be shooting the show either.
05:17You know, Zach's thinking about the lighting, you know, I don't know, Diane's, like, bussing the table, and I'm thinking,
05:23you know, did you tip well?
05:25Did you pay?
05:26Because there was really no lower person in this world than somebody who ends up stiffing waiters.
05:30There was a ninth circle of hell or a tenth circle of hell just for them.
05:34So that guy's paying.
05:35Okay, good.
05:36I hope, yeah, tack him.
05:38Very well.
05:39Make sure, did he tip well?
05:4130%.
05:4330%.
05:44Okay.
05:45Damn.
05:46Damn.
05:47We don't tip that one.
05:49Let's pretend you're producing this segment.
05:51How would we deal with this transition here?
05:53If you whisper in her ear, you say, ask him where we're going.
05:57Damn, he's on to us.
05:59Shit.
06:00Apparently, we'll be moving on to the distribution of Kamala.
06:02Do you like a little Latin flavor?
06:06Do you like 8th Avenue in the 30s?
06:08That's my favorite part of 8th Avenue.
06:10All right.
06:17I've never puked in front of witnesses in my life.
06:20Ever?
06:20And I'm not going to start now.
06:22Really?
06:22Ever?
06:23Tonight is the night.
06:24Yeah.
06:25Yeah, let's do it.
06:27You know, when I was a junkie, I would throw up in the great outdoors.
06:30But outside of the heroin experience, no, I still remember the girl who threw up next
06:37to me in second grade.
06:38So that was an important experience.
06:41Terry Jones lifted up her desk and blew chunks into her desk.
06:46Okay, and that made a big impression on me.
06:48I was like, that's not going to be me.
06:50So I'm pretty good at holding on to my shit.
06:56I know a bar with a pool.
06:57It's right behind the bar, a swimming pool.
07:00Everybody at like 1 o'clock.
07:01Last time I was there, I got fucking buck naked.
07:04That was quite so many a time ago, but yeah.
07:08Pre-fatherhood.
07:09That's true.
07:10I'm a distinguished motherfucker now.
07:11That's true.
07:11Hence, hence the distinguished Wacamba Lounge.
07:14Yes.
07:18We're all thinking the same thing when you go into a restaurant or a bar.
07:21First thing we're thinking is music.
07:23You can't afford that music.
07:24Uh-oh.
07:25Unplug the jukebox.
07:27Stop producing this show!
07:30The distinguished Wacamba Lounge, one of the last dive bars of its kind.
07:36I mean, there are plenty of you, the sort of Irish dive bars around, but this is really
07:39something unique for Manhattan.
07:42Presidente?
07:42Presidente?
07:43Definitely want to be drinking the Presidente.
07:46There's good stuff there to keep it properly cold, as any proud Dominican tells you it should
07:50be.
07:56All right, so who's been here before?
07:58Noah?
07:59Noah?
07:59Noah?
08:00Noah?
08:01Noah?
08:01Noah...
08:01We're gonna check this out.
08:03We're gonna check it down Heigham.
08:03This is always my special place.
08:06the Wacamba Lounge has remained unchanged, unapologetically, unironically.
08:11Ironically, that's important.
08:13There's nothing hipster about the La Combo Lounge.
08:15It is what it is.
08:17Anyone who feels compelled to go there
08:18after having seen this, please don't fuck it up.
08:21So what are we drinking shots of?
08:23Because we're drinking shots of something.
08:24Definitely not tequila.
08:25Whiskey.
08:26Whiskey.
08:27I think Jameson.
08:28It's a good Catholic whiskey.
08:29Let's just drink Jameson.
08:31Jameson.
08:33What?
08:34I have nothing for this, McDonahan.
08:36I'm just saying you sound good.
08:38Oh, sorry.
08:41Come here, buddy.
08:42Come on, pal.
08:43Yeah.
08:43In order to be on this show, if you want the shot,
08:46you take the shot.
08:47Yeah.
08:49That's the way it works.
08:52Yeah, there's no getting me out of there
08:54without doing a few shots.
08:55I just love that place.
08:57It's just politically incorrect.
09:00So Helen, Helen, I pledge to you now.
09:04And this is not drug talk.
09:05No, no, no.
09:06I will sing Mark Lanigan's wedding dress
09:09at your wedding.
09:12Nice Korean boy, though.
09:15He hasn't been Korean.
09:18I've been talking to your mom, yo.
09:21Mazel tov.
09:23Mazel tov.
09:23Mazel tov.
09:38Mazel tov.
09:39I get so fired.
09:40What do you think of a buffet?
09:43I entrusted you with this terrible power.
09:45I'm okay.
09:46I'll put it away.
09:46I'll put it away.
09:47You keep it in the fucking silo.
09:49I'll put it away.
09:49Get in there, yo.
09:50Jesus.
09:51Fucking.
09:53I mean, late night, you want to keep it simple.
09:55You're going to be beyond your powers to evaluate a fine dining experience.
09:59Your ability to be a good customer are certainly diminishing.
10:02Some of us get a little rowdy late at night, so I figured it would be a good idea to
10:06keep it close to home.
10:07So that means my old base of operations layout, where it all started for me.
10:12We'll be having a classic French meal.
10:15What are you making for us?
10:17It's a surprise.
10:18It's a surprise?
10:20Let me guess.
10:20Does it involve beef?
10:22Beef surprise.
10:23No, no.
10:24I'm horny.
10:25What kind of surprise?
10:26It's a vegetable medley of locally sourced, artisanally produced.
10:31Vegetable?
10:31Fuck that, man.
10:33You're going to break my heart?
10:34You're going to make us tofu?
10:35People will see this.
10:37Yeah.
10:38Anthony, right.
10:39Because we always call him Anthony.
10:41It's a whole new me.
10:41Hello, Mr. Anthony.
10:45He's back.
10:45And this time, it's for me.
10:51Oh, my God!
10:52Yeah!
10:54Oh, my God!
10:56Do you want to give a pass?
10:58We're like huge fans of your show.
11:00That's why we came here.
11:01You're the best.
11:02I love you.
11:02Thank you so very much.
11:03You can take a picture of your face.
11:05Oh, my God.
11:10I've got to go to work.
11:12I got engaged to my first wife here.
11:14Oh, yeah?
11:15In this restaurant.
11:16It's to be my centerpiece at the wedding.
11:18Oh, I'm sorry about the first time around, and I...
11:20You're really in.
11:21Sorry for having me talk.
11:24Thank you, Dave.
11:29I was the chef there when Kitchen Confidential hit.
11:33Carlos, who worked with me then, is now the executive chef.
11:37Carlos!
11:39How you doing, brother?
11:40Okay, can I...
11:41I'd like to throw a couple of cote de boeuf on the grill.
11:44Yeah.
11:44Cooked up some cote de boeuf for my friends.
11:46Can you trust me with that?
11:47Yes.
11:47Do you think I'm good enough?
11:48What's great about Leal is they're completely unimpressed when you're in the kitchen from
11:53the get-go.
11:54You know, Carlos is a good friend, of course.
11:57Also, he's been on the show many times.
11:58But I think what they see first when I walk into the kitchen is I think they're all privately
12:02hoping, oh, God, please don't let him cook.
12:05You know, I'm seen as a liability to the smooth operations of the kitchen, not as famoso.
12:10If anything, they bust my balls somewhat worse than they did when I was working on the line.
12:15Don't fuck it up, okay?
12:19I don't get to cook much.
12:21I mean, people ask me a lot, you know, do you miss cooking?
12:24Do you miss cooking?
12:24Well, I don't miss standing in the kitchen for 16 hours a day, and I'm at an age where I
12:28wouldn't be good at that anymore anyway.
12:30I don't get an opportunity to cook at home once.
12:33On the road, I'm eating most of the time.
12:35So when I get to cook for my crew, that's a deeply satisfying thing, an all-too-rare thing.
12:41There's a Martha Stewart side of me, honestly, throwing together a little meal for a few friends.
12:47I like doing it.
12:50What?
12:51Are you making food for us or what?
12:53I'm making food.
12:54It should take some fun.
12:55Look at that piece of meat.
12:55What's going on?
12:56It's a big fucking piece of meat, okay?
12:57What is it?
12:58What is it?
12:58It's going to take some time.
13:00All right.
13:00Can you watch out for me for a little bit?
13:02I want one.
13:03I want one.
13:04As always, yeah.
13:05No, we need to give you shots.
13:06Carlos.
13:07Carlos.
13:08All right.
13:09A shot.
13:09Give us a shot.
13:10It's still working.
13:14I'm really late.
13:15I'm late.
13:16I can't even maintain the illusion that I cook anymore.
13:19He's like, I don't even have any energy for that shit.
13:22We worked for almost a year and a half.
13:26It's fun, man.
13:27That guy's fucking fun.
13:28He's like hardcore.
13:30Like Slipknot, Deptons, Pantera, all that.
13:34He was a fun guy to work with.
13:37The other guys like when they come here because they want to be part of the show, obviously.
13:40He's a big fucking star now.
13:43When he comes around, it's like people are freaked out.
13:49Here we go.
13:52The difference between him and me is that he gets pussy off this fucking show.
13:56I don't.
13:58You know what?
13:58I really thank you for that because I've been getting late so much.
14:04Me, no.
14:05It's serious.
14:06It's like...
14:07It happened more than...
14:09I can't even count him.
14:11Aww.
14:11I'm so proud.
14:12I know.
14:13We are so proud.
14:14We are so happy for you, Carlos.
14:15Yeah, I'm flying a Brigadier tomorrow in a big glove to Mr. Fistey and, you know,
14:18he's getting fucking late.
14:20I'm so happy for you.
14:23I love it.
14:23Wow.
14:23It's amazing.
14:25See, I'm happy.
14:26It's very good.
14:27You'll notice it's a constant.
14:28Like, everybody in my life has been on my show.
14:30Where does reality end and television begin?
14:33Where does work end and fun begin?
14:35It's such a permeable line.
14:36I mean, I can't tell.
14:37I'm in this very weird place where I get paid to be myself.
14:42You know, is this a reality show?
14:44I don't even know what we do.
14:46I don't even know what reality is.
14:48I just know what we do and it's a lot of fun and it's interesting.
14:51And I work with friends.
15:02These room.
15:18These room.
15:23I actually made find inside.
15:23The camera.
15:23You