- 13 years ago
Calling this a climax is like calling Final Fantasy XIII a game. Technically true, but it seems kinda undeserved.
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00:00Hello people, this is our Cobra, and fuck this.
00:06Seriously, this supposed to be the tournament for Miss Lane!
00:10Look at him! Look at that chin!
00:13It's an atrocity!
00:17Yeah, couldn't we at least look like his normal self in Demon Fall?
00:22Yeah.
00:24And what the hell's up with those eyebrows?!
00:27You five are next!
00:29Bloom's Fairy Dust busted your stash of spells!
00:31That dust never touched that box!
00:34Last episode had so many fucking holes, and look at this!
00:36That's all we defeated!
00:37The greatest stretch so far!
00:41A game of keep away!
00:43Well, they haven't quite defeated him yet.
00:47No, he accidentally managed to keep the whole self in on himself,
00:50because he recalled the elements.
00:53And seriously...
00:55They set him up with all these spells, all these powers,
00:58and they just don't do anything with it!
01:00I mean, I can understand why he can't use the spells now,
01:02because now he's only got the spells in the elements,
01:04but so much of this doesn't make a lick of sense!
01:07There's no consistency!
01:09No connection!
01:10It's just things happen because the virus fucking said so, daddy-o!
01:14Come join the club!
01:15We are the weak!
01:17And why are these six girls so fucking special?!
01:23Because they're...
01:24um...
01:25mean characters?
01:26They're not more special than those!
01:28They're not supposed to be more powerful!
01:29The only way you could argue is Bloom,
01:31and even then we were told that her powers was more uncontrollable!
01:33You know, a thing they haven't brought up since that one freaking episode
01:37where they trained,
01:38like they just forgot it?!
01:40Yeah!
01:40There's absolutely no strategy of thorough thinking to any of the battles!
01:44It's just flinging pretty calls around while getting named,
01:48and then watching the bad guys get completely ass-caped!
01:51Oh yeah, but my Estella's...
01:54stepmother...
01:55and stepsister...
01:55I don't think we're going to see them again!
01:57There's creepy!
01:58Because most of the animals probably fled from the forest!
02:02No, they kinda died!
02:05Well, some would have hidden on the ground,
02:07and some would have...
02:08Yes!
02:09But many died in forest fires!
02:12We know that!
02:14That's what happened with those forest fires!
02:15That's why it's spreading, but...
02:18But life goes on, yes!
02:20It's terrible!
02:22You know what, Flora?
02:24Maybe we can fix it!
02:25If we join my magic water power with your nature energy,
02:29it might be enough to get the forest growing again!
02:32No!
02:33It's Linthea Convergence!
02:35I like it!
02:36No!
02:38You are not that powerful!
02:40You can't just restore an entire fucking forest like that!
02:44Well, it is technically what they're being trained to do,
02:46and they are almost finished with their education, so...
02:50Yeah, but this, we never...
02:53But that is overdoing it!
02:54It should take time!
02:56It should take time!
02:56It's actually working!
02:57I can't believe it!
02:59We totally healed the forest!
03:01Fuck you!
03:02We'll all come back now!
03:03When have the Arabian Joneses had this level of power?
03:06To bring life back to an entire fucking forest!
03:10Well, there was this test they had,
03:12what they were supposed to bring it back to a destroyed environment,
03:15but it was...
03:18Um...
03:19What the fuck?!
03:20No!
03:20Go away!
03:24What about the Mord?
03:25No good!
03:26Baltor!
03:27Come back!
03:28I don't care if you're the ultimate form of socks ass!
03:31It's better than this!
03:33Come back!
03:34Please!
03:35Baltor was defeated,
03:36but it would make me feel so much better
03:38if we knew exactly what happened to him.
03:41You've always been too much of a worrier,
03:43even back when you were a student here.
03:45You worried about skirmish in the cloud tower,
03:48So...
03:49Fragonda is also only about 40?
03:52...that Baltor is gone for good.
03:54Uh...
03:54She's had a rough ass.
03:58She probably had to train Daphne,
04:01and she was probably like Bloom, so...
04:03That would give me grey hairs too.
04:09This...
04:10isn't...
04:11funny!
04:14I'm tempted to kick my computer screen.
04:17Bloom?
04:17Wait, what?
04:18What was the point of that?
04:20Oh, sorry, Miss F.
04:21I didn't hear you.
04:22Is something wrong?
04:24I kind of have this bad feeling.
04:27Is it about...
04:28Also, you don't respect the personal space of the camera!
04:31I can still sense his presence.
04:33Listen, Bloom.
04:34It's not what any of us want to hear.
04:37But if you can still sense Baltor,
04:39it means he's coming back.
04:41You're just that fucking special, my girl!
04:44Well, again, it worked because they...
04:45I have already established that...
04:48Hold on!
04:48Yeah, but wouldn't they ask her first?
04:51Like, they came back like,
04:52I'm first over!
04:53Bloom, is Baltor still around?
04:55Why did they wait?
04:57Because...
04:58Um...
04:58Don't worry!
04:59I'll get you out of there!
05:01Pathetic!
05:06Oh, thank God you shifted back!
05:08I'm sorry, Joe.
05:09You got styled,
05:10but you gotta work in an alternative form.
05:12The lantern jaw is just...
05:13WRONG!
05:16And...
05:17You need something a bit more stylish
05:19rather than the classic red demon.
05:22That might have been really threatening, like,
05:24a couple of decades ago,
05:26but we moved on!
05:28Well, he was in an ice block for 17 years, so...
05:31He took us down easily!
05:32I was one of the first ones he knocked out,
05:35so I didn't see the whole battle!
05:37But when I came to...
05:38Wait!
05:38No, no, no, no, no!
05:39You just...
05:43Why am I just showing them
05:45if you're gonna flash back?!
05:46Be my errand boy!
05:48Now go to our theater!
05:49And tell those fairies,
05:50I'll be waiting for them on Tides!
05:52So...
05:53And make sure you tell them
05:54to carry to Portal Island
05:55if they never want to see
05:56their precious boyfriends again!
06:00Uhhhhhhhhh!
06:00He's definitely setting a trap on tides!
06:03Yeah, but we still have to risk it!
06:05Our boyfriends are in trouble!
06:07Be very careful, girls!
06:09Because Balthor will strike with everything he has
06:11and try to destroy you!
06:14Particularly you, Blue!
06:15So how the fuck did they write this show?
06:18Did they just flick ink and shredded paper
06:20and just say,
06:20Yeah, that looks like text!
06:21Sensors aren't detecting
06:22any sign of Balthor
06:23on the island that has the Portal!
06:25He could be down below!
06:27This is where he said we should go
06:28and he said we should get here quickly!
06:31Are you totally sure
06:32your readings are right, Naboo?
06:33His old hideout was there!
06:35Right in the center of the island!
06:37It looks deserted,
06:38but it's possible he's using magic
06:40to shield his presence!
06:41I say we check it in person!
06:45Why don't you have more people with you?
06:48This is Balthor after all!
06:50If I know Balthor,
06:51he's setting some kind of trap!
06:53Well, you can defeat him
06:54with a similar game of T-VoA!
06:55I feel it!
06:58Balthor, we're here like you asked!
07:00So let our boyfriends go!
07:02I make the rules here!
07:06Remember the spell of the elements?
07:09Well, here it is again!
07:12Pretty cool that he stopped talking
07:14with his mouth altogether!
07:15Yeah!
07:24From the small tornado!
07:31Everybody step into one!
07:33Why?!
07:34Because it's what he wants!
07:38Yes!
07:38Exactly!
07:39So why?!
07:40Go Enchantix!
07:42Because...
07:42Um...
07:45Um...
07:45Because they could lead to different places
07:47and they would have a better...
07:48No, wait!
07:50They would be able to cover more ground
07:51with blood if they didn't!
07:53Oh!
07:53There's a bridge...
07:59I still think that's a stupid name for a spell!
08:03I concur!
08:05Oh yeah!
08:06That's...
08:06You know, if he had used the elements
08:08to shake the island
08:09and forced them apart!
08:11I could understand it
08:12by doing it in a 3D?
08:19And the water just stops
08:21while she transforms!
08:22Looking at his Ridgewatch thing
08:24Any moment now!
08:26Any moment!
08:28Alright!
08:28She's done!
08:33Um...
08:34Shouldn't the water just flow around it?
08:36Yep!
08:45Ribbon!
08:45Don't worry!
08:46I'm going to get you out of this!
08:48I promise!
08:51Let's go Enchantix!
08:53Why do they have to say Enchantix?
08:55Can't you just transform?
08:58It's a...
09:00Oh...
09:00Battle cry!
09:01I...
09:03I'm gonna dance all over the place all day to life!
09:05And I'm gonna dance all over the place all day to life!
09:08Let's go Enchantix!
09:24Nice!
09:25Oh!
09:25He was right in front of me on the floor all along!
09:28Good thing I used less spells of binding because I'm fucking blind on the target!
09:33But I suppose it would be hard to see on the ground!
09:36Shouldn't you just let it light her?
09:40Nope!
09:41Huh?
09:41Huh?
09:42Yeah?
09:42That sounds like Skye!
09:43Huh?
09:45Huh?
09:47Huh?
09:47That's weird!
09:48We just saw Timmy up on the surface!
09:52Yeah, but you also got teleported, so...
09:55Timmy?
09:57Huh?
09:58Huh?
10:01Timmy?
10:03What's going on, Timmy?
10:05I...
10:05That's not Timmy!
10:14Those are Elementals!
10:27Yep, those are Elementals!
10:29Yep!
10:30That's pretty cool, actually, if I can close so many glows to help me!
10:35That was a bit of a twist!
10:38Skye?
10:39Oh...
10:40Skye, is that you?
10:42Pretty smart twist!
10:49Okay, well done!
10:50It's like they had one good rider and nine pillars in on this show!
10:57That was an Enchantic Sunburst!
10:59You should be gone!
11:00You should be gone!
11:03Yeah, well, shouldn't it's dead!
11:05Now run!
11:07Or get owned!
11:08I would also like to see that, to be honest!
11:10Yes!
11:13Actually, it's kind of refreshing after seeing him even kicking everyone's butt all over the place!
11:18Yep!
11:22I don't think he approves!
11:23I think he's more of a type who likes rock!
11:26Let go of me!
11:30Digital blast!
11:32Fun, not funny!
11:36You didn't catch it, did you?
11:38No, not at first!
11:39Sorry!
11:40Well, it might just be it wasn't funny!
11:46Actually, he seems like a threat now!
11:49Where was that?
11:51What?
11:52Six episodes ago?
11:53Go find Baltor!
11:57And hit him where he hides!
12:03You can...
12:05What?
12:06This thing stopped!
12:07Which means I must have hit Baltor!
12:09What?
12:11What?
12:12Yes, he can do that now!
12:22What?
12:23You're right, monster!
12:24You better run!
12:25You had a nice climax going!
12:29And you fucked it up!
12:31No!
12:32Who let the pillock stop riding again?!
12:35I suppose our good rider had to go for a lunch break at some point!
12:40Who are you?
12:41Is it possible that you forgot about us, Baltor?
12:46Show yourselves!
12:48You don't give orders to us, Baltor!
12:51We give orders to you!
12:53The three ancestresses!
12:55You heard!
12:57You disappointed us, Baltor!
12:59So we're calling you back from this world!
13:02You really think you can make me go back with you?!
13:06You three may have created me, but you do not control me!
13:10I've outgrown you and passed you by!
13:13You know what?
13:14Now that I look at their masks, I think they may have designed this alternative form.
13:17Only somebody with absolutely no taste will wear those things.
13:21Well, they technically designed the kingdom.
13:24Yes!
13:24But nothing can stop us from acting on you!
13:27Because you are ours, Baltor!
13:30No, stop it!
13:30You failed!
13:32Your magic powers were squandered!
13:34And for that you must pay!
13:36No!
13:37No!
13:37No!
13:39No!
13:39We will take the part that is the wizard and leave the part that is the beast!
13:44You will be stronger and more brutal, but barbaric and primitive.
13:49Now go destroy all that is in your path!
13:54Why not just empower him?
13:57Without his brain what you're supposed to do?!
14:01I don't know, but we only had 23 minutes left of the season.
14:11Seriously!
14:14This is lame!
14:27How come removing his brain made him stronger?
14:31Well, um, uh...
14:40Seriously, I grumpy on rage and directly into apathetic loathing at this point.
14:48Apathetic?
14:49Yeah, you know, like...
14:51Is that a combination of apathetic and apathetic?
14:55Is it apathetic?
14:57Well, it's apathetic.
14:59Indeed, it's supposed to be that way.
15:01I know it's apathy.
15:03So, wouldn't it be apathetic?
15:06I don't know.
15:08You just wanna discuss words while we end it?
15:11This is more interesting.
15:18So, he's a beast but he's still tall.
15:23Yup!
15:25Oh, look!
15:26Miu Miu Power is up next!
15:31Wait, why did she collapse?
15:34Because...
15:36Um...
15:36It's her dragon fire!
15:40And?
15:42Nooooo!
15:43I did it, Valtor!
15:45I traveled to the inner sanctum of your dragon fire!
15:49And now that I'm here, I'm gonna put out your dragon fire flames once and for all!
15:54What?
15:59She went into his soul and now she's destroying them both from inside.
16:03At least him or something.
16:05She can do what?
16:07Yes.
16:09Your fairy dust erased the dark magic of the ancestresses.
16:13But that's it!
16:14And now I am myself again, a wizard created from a dark ember of the great dragon's fire!
16:26Oh!
16:27So it was the witches who came up with this.
16:29I have a better idea, Bloom, for something that will help me achieve my destiny and you
16:34finally locate your birth parents.
16:36I don't believe you know anything about my birth parents!
16:40But the ancient witches do.
16:41In fact, they hold the key to both our destinies.
16:44For you finding Oritel and Miriam.
16:46And for me achieving the greatness that I deserve.
16:49So this is what I propose to you, Bloom.
16:52Turn your rage on the ancestresses.
16:55And join me.
16:56Together we will be strong enough to defeat them and make them give us what we want.
17:01You and I are the same, Bloom.
17:03We are bookends.
17:04Matching pieces of the greatest ancient magic ever to exist.
17:08The only thing we have in common is our dragon fire.
17:11And right now mine is going to fight yours until one of them is out.
17:15So be it.
17:16I gave you one last chance.
17:19I'll just point out that the ancient actually considered it long enough to listen to him.
17:25Yep.
17:27Well, he might have come with a reasonable suggestion.
17:30Wait, what?
17:31Was that the X?
17:32Yep.
17:35That?
17:35Wait, what?
17:36That was it?
17:37You just go, no, I wanna beat you.
17:38And the greatest threat ever is just...
17:40Boom.
17:41Yep.
17:45And now she's back.
17:48You want me to hold your glasses again?
17:54Okay.
17:57Congratulations, girls.
17:59Balthor's essence is now imprisoned with the ancient witches.
18:03Uh...
18:04I guess?
18:04And that's why we never see him again.
18:14This...
18:16Isn't...
18:18Funny...
18:19You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Layla.
18:24No, seriously.
18:26Rogue credits.
18:27I don't give a fuck.
18:29Be done with it.
18:30Blue Shodan Tides tells me that you're ready, Bloom.
18:34I believe you now have what it takes to enter the dark realm of the ancient witches,
18:39break their spell, and finally find your birth parents.
18:43I think I'm ready.
18:44Mom?
18:45Dad?
18:46I feel...
18:46After all, you're the sender of so many de-sex marketers and 40 britons popcorn,
18:50that you're asking the miller, everything's going to work out alright.
18:53Why didn't they have...
18:55Why didn't they have fireworks ready to make a picture of them?
18:58Because the writers decided to.
19:00Haven't you noticed how this works?
19:01There's no consistency, no character development, no connection.
19:05It's just a round to say to say...
19:06This is how it works out.
19:07This is how it works out.
19:09This is how it works out.
19:09I guess?
19:11Ugh...
19:12Who knows the wrong word?
19:13In your face!
19:14Malcolm in the Middle, Monday to Thursday...
19:16This has been Eric Cobra.
19:17Thank you, Vanilla.
19:18And this has been the third season of Let's Watch Winx Club.
19:23Oh, well, we have been seeing the first season.
19:25It's only the second season we've been watching, but what the fuck am I?
19:29Just...
19:29Goodbye.
19:31Bye!
19:31I am...
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