- 1 week ago
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00:03I'll be back later to collect the club money name, all right?
00:05Yeah, all right, Arthur.
00:11Yeah, have you finished in there yet?
00:12Yeah.
00:13For good?
00:14Well, Tony's knocking off early, so I thought I might as well.
00:16Well, I'm getting sick of that, man.
00:18Why, what's the matter with it?
00:19It's that, Luke.
00:20Oh, I'll get Tony to sort out his roller for tomorrow, shall I?
00:24Hello, loved.
00:27That won't do you no good.
00:29What?
00:29Smoking in your condition.
00:31It's not me that's pregnant, is it?
00:32I mean your asthma.
00:33If God had intended us to smoke, it had given us chimneys in the top of our heads.
00:37Well, I wonder where he would have put our brains.
00:39Yeah, lofty, will you do me a favour?
00:41Keep an eye on the laundrette for old men.
00:43No.
00:43Oh, thank you, lofty.
00:45What?
00:45Well, I've raced to see Michelle.
00:47Yeah, but I want to get me palm raised.
00:49Oh, you have to find someone else, eh, don't you?
00:51Oh, lofty.
00:54Come in.
00:57Come in.
01:01Come in.
01:06Did you hear me?
01:07Yeah.
01:07Well, then why didn't you come in?
01:08Well, I didn't like to, not until the door was opened, official like.
01:10What?
01:11Well, I don't want to rock the boat.
01:13Lofty, what are you talking about?
01:14Well, you know, get on the wrong side of your family.
01:16I mean, I could end up like the Titanic with your gran playing the iceberg.
01:19But, hello, Mrs. Beale.
01:22I thought I heard voices.
01:23Yeah.
01:23Who was that at the door?
01:25It was lofty.
01:26Are you deaf?
01:27No.
01:27I could hear her in my room.
01:29Graeme, like a cup of tea?
01:30Yes, I think we're better in there, without cigarettes.
01:37Oh, hi.
01:38My, my, my.
01:39What have you been playing at?
01:41Manicuring the woodwork.
01:42What?
01:42Well, it sounds better than rubbing it down.
01:45That always reminds me of some sort of massage parlour in Soho.
01:48Any particular one?
01:49Wouldn't you like to know?
01:50You got the paper and paint?
01:52Yeah.
01:52Take a look.
01:53Right.
01:54Where are you going?
01:55Checking your rubbing action.
01:56Well, it's perfect.
01:59I know.
02:00I just wanted to see how the woodwork liked it.
02:09Oh, no.
02:13So, you don't want to rock the boat?
02:16Well, and I'm like an iceberg.
02:20Well, figuratively speaking, that is.
02:22That's, um, that's to say, not your figure, you know, your, um, your personality.
02:26What Lofty's trying to say is that you've got a very strong personality and he didn't
02:29want to upset anyone.
02:30He didn't thank you.
02:31I see.
02:33So, you want to marry my daughter's daughter?
02:37I do.
02:38Do you think you can take care of her?
02:40I do.
02:41And look after her?
02:42I do.
02:42And the baby?
02:44I will.
02:46And apply for housing, I suppose.
02:48I will.
02:49Look, I'm not Mark and Miles, you know.
02:51Sorry?
02:52Never mind, before your time.
02:54Lofty's got everything under control, Graham.
02:56Oh, he has, has he?
02:57Yeah, well, I've made a lot of inquiries, you see.
03:00I, I think I, I know where to go for everything that we're going to need.
03:04What?
03:04Yeah, I've got it under control.
03:06Oh, do you make out of it for this?
03:08What?
03:08Asking pregnant girls to marry you.
03:10No, why?
03:11Oh, you seem to know all about it.
03:13Oh, well, it's all a question of, um, positive thinking, Mrs. Beale, you know, knowing where
03:17you're going.
03:18Is it?
03:18Yeah, it's like my whole life has been mapped out for me, really.
03:21Well, our lives, mine and Michelle's.
03:23You sound like Evel Skinner.
03:25And I just believe that what will be will be.
03:28I see.
03:29Do you understand that, Graham?
03:30I'm beginning to.
03:31Well, our paths crossed one day.
03:34Or a night.
03:36Yeah, well, all night.
03:37And, well, then, Michelle got pregnant, and here we are.
03:41What about money?
03:43Well, I'm always going to make sure that Michelle's all right.
03:45He knows what he's taking on, Graham.
03:47Oh, so it seems.
03:50Well, at least you're doing right, Bea.
03:52What?
03:53Oh, I'm back.
03:54Oh, hello.
03:56Hiya.
03:57Uh, is Arthur here?
03:58I went round to Namers, but he wasn't there.
04:00I think he's collecting for his Christmas club.
04:02Oh.
04:02Uh, I've got the carpet samples.
04:04The man's coming round tomorrow to measure up.
04:06Uh, I think I'd better make a move.
04:07All right, then.
04:08I'll see you over the road tonight.
04:09Lofty?
04:10Yeah?
04:10You took your time, but you came through.
04:14I'm proud of you.
04:15Oh, thanks.
04:17I can still see him.
04:19He's still coming.
04:20When?
04:21Well, this isn't a calendar, you know.
04:23This is a palm.
04:25Well, will it be soon?
04:27All I can say is that it's immigrant.
04:30Charlie ain't an immigrant.
04:31Oh, well, if you don't want to believe me, don't.
04:34But you've got to cross my palm with silver.
04:36Come on.
04:40Don't overpay, will you?
04:44Come along, ladies.
04:45Listen, it's like a good idea.
04:47Who in wants to see you?
04:48Do you know what about?
04:49Uh, carpet samples or something.
04:50Oh, that'd be...
04:51Hey, Kath, have you got £2.50, please?
04:53What, again?
04:53It seems like I just gave you for last week.
04:55Come on, come on, come on.
04:56Come on, come on, come on, come on.
05:00Come on, come on, come on.
05:15Special offer, madam, at the fruit store.
05:17Yeah, get all your fruit and bread.
05:19What's going on, man?
05:19Come on, come on, come on.
05:20Come on, come on.
05:28You've got to be careful anymore.
05:29This is going to end up getting nicked.
05:31Yes, sir.
05:32Rep your, um...
05:33Reps our dairy, my sister.
05:37Excuse me, ladies.
05:38All right, now, just calm down a minute, will you?
05:41What's the problem?
05:43Yeah, and they came from nowhere, didn't they, Kath?
05:45Oh, you wouldn't have believed it.
05:47No, speedy.
05:47He was in their right shop then.
05:49Honestly, you would have thought we were giving this stuff away.
05:51Yeah, and then he disappeared under all these women.
05:54A phenomena.
05:55A what?
05:56Well, that's what it was, wasn't it?
05:57A phenomena.
05:58Yeah.
05:58A phenomena.
05:59Are you not coming home tonight?
06:01Yeah, of course I am.
06:01It's just that there's been a phenomena in the square.
06:03Oh, wonderful.
06:04I just hope it's not catchy.
06:05Look, Arthur, you've got to come and see these.
06:07We've got to make our mind up by tomorrow.
06:09Sarah, Simon, get their drinks, please.
06:11No, I'll have to get it.
06:12Why me?
06:13Because I'm in charge.
06:14Who said that?
06:15What?
06:16I'm in charge.
06:17Michael Miles.
06:18It was the other bloke.
06:19What was his name?
06:21Norman Wisdom.
06:22No.
06:23I don't care who it was.
06:25Can we have a drink?
06:26Tommy Twindam up.
06:27Here, dog, come here.
06:28Here.
06:29Who was it who said, I'm in charge?
06:31Oh, that's easy.
06:32That was that little tiny man.
06:34You know him.
06:35Charlie Drake.
06:36No, it wasn't.
06:37He said swinging.
06:39Doddry.
06:39He never did, Lou.
06:41Arthur Askey.
06:42It wasn't Arthur Askey, Arthur.
06:45Oh, what are you doing, dog?
06:47No.
06:47Why, it's a smoke.
06:48It's on me check.
06:49God, there's nothing worse than a reformed smoker.
06:52You should know.
06:53What is it?
06:54It's a blue Peter work rotor.
06:56A what?
06:57It's quite simple, love.
06:58It's meant for children, and it starts into operation as from today.
07:02Now, this is week one.
07:04The week is easily recognizable from the week color stars at the bottom of the rotor.
07:09Week one being a blue star, week two a green star, week three a red one, and week four a
07:14yellow star.
07:15Now, I only have four color stars, so week five becomes a blue star again.
07:20Now, it'll be my job, an extra chore I do not mind doing, to change the stars week in, week
07:25out.
07:25Right, it starts today, Thursday.
07:28We'll look for a name at the top of the rotor, follow it down until we get to Thursday, and
07:32that is our chore for the day.
07:35Next week, starting a green star.
07:38Thursday becomes Friday, Friday becomes Saturday, Saturday becomes Sunday.
07:43The following week, a red star, Thursday becomes Saturday, Friday becomes Sunday, and Saturday becomes Monday, and so on and
07:51so forth.
07:52And that way, we don't do the same jobs day in, day out.
07:56And with any luck, we might manage to get this place looking spick and spam.
08:01I think it's pretty self-explanatory, don't you?
08:11Here, what things to up to?
08:13What, have fallen off to?
08:14Well, no one else in there, is there?
08:15No, well, he's being trained.
08:17You what?
08:17Well, to be Ethel's apprentice.
08:19What are you talking about?
08:20Well, Ethel needs someone to help her with her fortune telling.
08:23You what?
08:23Like, you know, palm reading and that.
08:25And she's asked Lofty?
08:26Yeah.
08:27But what for?
08:28Well, according to Ethel, Lofty's got a gift.
08:30Oh, God, I've heard it all now.
08:31Yeah, and she also reckons that he can contact those that have gone before.
08:35Before what, though?
08:36The dead.
08:37Lofty's scared of the living, let alone the dead.
08:41Now, if you have truly got the gift and you misuse it for your own evil purposes, the forces of
08:50darkness will come down on you.
08:53How do you mean?
08:54Tales have been told of those who misused their powers and were taken by the demons in the night.
09:01What sort of demons?
09:02Well, I don't really know what they look like, but when they come, they bring badness and death.
09:12What's that tapping?
09:14Well, you better go and get wicks, see it might be burglars.
09:22There it is again.
09:23Well, hurry up.
09:25I don't want to get pillaged, do I?
09:34There it is.
09:57There it is.
10:31now you see you had this shock yeah well and it started me thinking about me asthma you brought
10:36on an attack did it well sort of it was more i was wondering if asthma was hereditary well in
10:41some cases it can be yes but why are you suddenly concerned oh well just in case of any um
10:46children
10:47i might have you know yes come in what is it let's all sorry doctor but i left my dust
10:53get it get it no as far as any babies of yours are concerned i would definitely keep them off
10:58cow's milk thank you that's all right go on no that's the best idea we've come up with so far
11:04with regard to that but for myself i would say that just hang on hello yeah yeah just hang on
11:11a
11:12moment will you please no i've got a list of baby food products with no cow's milk in there somewhere
11:16here um no no look i'll dig it out sometime yes come in what is it now ethel sorry to
11:26trouble you
11:27again yeah but it's mrs adriano what about her chop the top of her finger off with the bread knife
11:32stupid woman uh look i'll call back another time ain't it yeah you do that lovely you'd better show
11:37hurry and ethel hello hi darling all right where have you been half way you're used to it and a
11:44fan
11:44belt goes didn't it cost me more than it earns me yeah listen take some of these over there for
11:50us
11:50for you let me wash me hands first will you two bacon sandwiches it's no good to i've got to
11:57think
11:57of a better way of earning a bit more cash i wouldn't even mind you gambling if you knew when
12:01to stop
12:01here next time i promise i'll take these yeah one egg one egg and sausage coming up all right
12:10hey how's it going over here tones all right it'll look good when we finish it will be the most
12:15attractive store with the two most attractive assistants oh i wish i'd say that he was just
12:20throwing compliments about that makes a change yeah he was saying about naim and deb's being the
12:26most attractive shop assistants what about me what about you when do i get a compliment oh the
12:31minute you give me chance to give you one oh sorry i didn't mean that i just slip up yeah
12:37that's
12:37what i all say oh hannah yeah you want a coffee no thank you i don't want to spoil your
12:49fun what
12:50well you seem to be having such a good time i'm just having a break well it's nice to know
12:55that
12:55someone has the time for a break mind you you always did
13:04it's me nerves i'm on a knife's edge yeah well it's only to be expected giving up smoking at your
13:10age yeah well can't you give me something other than this silly gum all it does is give me face
13:14sake no you just have to persevere with it dot well you don't know what it's like dot just stick
13:19with it and perhaps in time you'll forget all about smoking now is there anything else i can do
13:24well i think my husband might be coming home and it's an emotional period in my life and i need
13:30to
13:31talk to someone i haven't got time for that now dot well when will you have the time i don't
13:34know
13:34perhaps tonight oh charming dot there are a lot of people out there why don't you come back tonight
13:39well it might be too late bud then my nerves might have got the better of me it's just the
13:42best i can
13:43do dot oh so all that advice them problem pages give you about seeing your family doctor's rubbish
13:48well no oh don't try and explain i'll write to them let them know what it's really like all right
13:53goodbye
13:57and i'll see you tonight yeah
14:01go on that one come back
14:05you're here do you think i'm gonna be all right well of course you will i just don't want to
14:09remember what all the lines mean just go through it like i told you now off with you
14:15i'm still worried darling you'll be wonderful how can you be so sure oh i read it in your palm
14:24i said i didn't like that one yeah well it's understandable really it's not a very popular line
14:30that one too plain yeah see what you're looking for is something with a bit of a pattern in it
14:35really isn't it yeah but we don't want anything too fuzzy man well then plain carpets show every
14:39bit of dirt i can't see why anybody ever bothers with them so you're looking for something with a
14:43pattern but plain yeah yeah right well i think i have got the very thing for you
14:51what do you think of that then hey oh well that's nice man yeah and what this carpet will
14:56definitely do is give this room a feeling of space space oh yeah i'll tell you when this carpet
15:02is on your floor it'll make this room as seen as big as a wembley stadium well mum i don't
15:08want
15:08to live in a football ground right i'll get michelle to make us a cup of tea
15:16oh come on mary how are you get long for us will you please show all right i'll bring it
15:20through
15:20when i've done it oh lovely you want us to go no no no sit down sure i was um
15:24just thinking about
15:25what you said what you must have felt something for him nope not really come off it mary we all
15:33saw
15:34you say what why you used to start mooning after him yeah all right i suppose i felt something more
15:42than just sunny right i mean you changed your whole appearance for him didn't you the old bit
15:47and you don't do that for a bloke just because you like the smell of his aftershave well we've all
15:52done it i've done what falling for a thing yeah and you and me got caught didn't we i was
15:59different
16:00yeah they always say that no it wasn't i was a sort of whim so you didn't love him then
16:05not then no
16:08did you did you love annie's father yeah yeah i suppose i did at the time nandy what about him
16:17do you
16:17love him well yeah yeah yes i suppose i did i'll measure up then that's the carpet mrs fowler not
16:27you
16:29i think you'll do without a joint if i plan it properly right oh i think this one would go
16:34better poorly yes but you won't have the same depth of texture you see pauline your name is it
16:40sorry i've talked to my daughter here what do you think well well go better with the curtains yes
16:47that's what i thought it's got a nice plush feel yes i like it yeah so do i so let's
16:54settle then this
16:55one yeah yeah well it should fit perfectly because there's a choice of three wits you see
16:59i'll just wait a minute i've gone off it you've gone off it that's right i don't like it yeah
17:10well
17:11i do have other calls to make in the area i can always call back now i hope you have
17:18been satisfied
17:18sir and may i ask you to cross my palm with silver oh good luck sir and many thanks come
17:28along ladies and
17:29gentlemen anybody who would like the food oh what have they all got
17:44yes um are you all for palm reading yeah yeah i'll be with you as soon as i can all
17:48right all right
18:08oh hello apple come in it's marvelous that man you know the one he's very near lofty told me
18:19well i think that's all i need you should have the fittings with you in a week or so oh
18:23lovely yeah
18:24i think you'll be well pleased when you see it lay it'll give this room a feeling of shape really
18:30really oh oh oh oh hello arthur it's mr dean oh nigel nigel doing how's it we've chosen the carpet
18:38yeah and a very uh popular choice well let's have a look then you can't miss it just pick out
18:42the one
18:43that makes you sick it's very nice arthur yeah look i'll tell you what i'll do i'll um i'll leave
18:49the patent book with you so well if you want to buy anything too much you've got the book to
18:52refer to
18:53thanks and the fitter will collect it when it comes right right well uh i'll be off then oh well
18:59i'll put the financial agreement in the post first thing in the morning all right right right bye
19:04bye-bye bye-bye i'll uh i'll see myself oh okay yeah cheers hello slimy git listen i thought he
19:13was
19:14very nice now come on let's have a look at this that's not bad is this price right what price
19:21the
19:21one on the back suppose so but it's a pound more a square yard than what we were going to
19:26pay i'll just
19:27take these tea things out the way arthur i knew i should have been here and it's awful oh oh
19:36are we
19:36gone yeah everything all right no i just feel sorry for her oh what's up yeah she's fallen for rob
19:47roy
19:47next door in a very big way oh blimey thought she'd have learned her lesson the time before
19:53all right then i want to change the churchill so i'll leave you in charge lofty oh so i'm in
19:58charge
19:58no i'm leaving you in charge well if you're leaving me in charge then i must be in charge
20:02if only there's a stopgap go and change the barrel where your people are waiting anyway i'm in charge
20:08you only work here part-time how can you be in charge because like i said simon i'm the eldest
20:13therefore i'm the most responsible oh yes but if that's the case i'm the eldest so i'm in charge
20:19if you don't even work behind the bar where can you be in charge oh well the owner of the
20:24launderette doesn't do the laundry but he's in charge no one's on he doesn't own the laundrette
20:31no you silly bat he's the one who said i'm in charge oh i know who it was oh that
20:37welsh
20:37can't make jimmy tarbuck no he wasn't oh well ask lofty i bet he knows smoky in here ain't he
20:44have
20:44another point of melbourne yeah oh yeah before you do that have you seen this what well there's three
20:50cards right a one a two and a three yeah now if you tell me which one's the queen of
20:55arts when it
20:55hits the deck i'll give you a quid right all right are you ready yeah you're watching here we go
21:00which one well it's easy ain't it that one oh you've done this before haven't you here
21:08there's your quid and uh paper and a drink all right cheers don't get it old you know it's a
21:14con
21:14yeah but i know the con works tonight here show that again mate cheers there you go there's that carpet
21:20fella in it what nigel yeah not too keen him or the carpet the carpet's all right oh it's ever
21:27so nice
21:27yeah but we're paying too much oh come on arthur we can afford it i know but i don't like
21:32to beat
21:32con can i get either of you two ladies a drink oh nice um two glasses of white wine please
21:44oh right
21:45that one oh don't like a kipper you've done me again i suppose you want another go you bet two
21:52white
21:52wines please kath and a pint of lager all right here love get the wine hey kath i'll get a
21:57quick
21:57word round the back yeah all right love you i'll be out in the minutes the time you shouldn't get
22:00too
22:01involved mary i wasn't it's all right just to like someone you know yeah but when nobody likes me
22:08like you he doesn't i'm sure andy likes you very much pauline he's made a fool out of me whose
22:17fault
22:17was that well it wasn't mine you mustn't expect too much of people what let them get on with their
22:25lives while i get on with mine yeah no bab i didn't mean that well that's what it's gonna be
22:30from now on because every time i start to like someone they just turn around and kick me in the
22:34teeth you know when it's gonna be just me and annie because you know what i mean she's the only
22:39person i can trust where was it you said i'm not far from the school i was on the bus
22:45i'm sure it was
22:46him kath but it could be because he's in our beef and we're mum isn't he of course he is
22:50didn't half
22:51look like him though well you know what they say sharon everyone's got a double somewhere yeah hey kath
22:57i think there's a bit of gamby again and what shall we do oh you're in charge aren't you i'm
23:01sorry
23:01andy but today i just haven't had time neither have i besides it's really difficult for me at the
23:06moment i've nowhere proper to put my things you are both gonna have to find time i've got a business
23:11and there aren't enough hours in the day to spring clean as well i'm not asking you to spring clean
23:17just get your finger out andy don't you realize that there are more important things than just
23:21keeping the house tied yeah love you've changed your mind haven't you what do you mean you were awarded
23:26miss house proud 1985 and now it's all not important i wonder what i should say who has
23:32changed your mind oh bad luck sunshine that's another quick look don't worry you're just going
23:38through a bit of aniffy page look i'll tell you what do you want to raise it to come
23:43don't worry it's all right i'll tell you what let's make it a five all right all right
23:48i think you ought to do something i've said you were in charge yes i am but stopping gambling is
23:54a
23:54man's job it's a sin gambling are you going to stop it or not it's only a bit of armistice
24:01you're cheating you've got four cards don't call me four cards they're different come over here
24:06what do you want me you're in charge you're in charge well what are you doing sonny
24:13go on then if you want to spend the next year in intensive care now what's going on
24:20he's cheating oh come on four cards you was using four cards how many cards yeah you heard me
24:26sponge brain how many cards that's a new little toe rag what do you think that is scotch mist
24:37right now there's the door use it
24:44and if you ever come gambling here again you'll be going the same way
24:48just like her mother well i think that solves our little argument by the way what i'm in charge
24:56well what do you think i don't like it what look the pattern's too big and the colors are about
25:02as
25:02subtle as a brick you're joking no i'm not well why don't you say something sooner i tried but you
25:08were busy when this morning i came home from work to talk to you and you were busy socializing in
25:13the
25:13cafe i was having a break i mean aren't i allowed to have a break of course you are it's
25:18just that
25:19i want to make sure you've got your priorities right my priorities yes you seem to forget that i've
25:26seen this film before all right all right i'll admit that i've got things wrong in the past but you
25:33must remember if it wasn't for me you would be on the street and if all this is going to
25:38work there's
25:39got to be give and take on both sides not just mine are you going out no i'm going to
25:49strip the walls
25:49house i've just papered
25:58i'm glad you come over we don't think you get much time together now do we it'll be better when
26:03we're married yeah i'll have more time you just seem so busy at the moment well there's a lot of
26:08things to do in there i mean a lot to get sorted and a lot of people to pacify it
26:13seems yeah well
26:14that's how it is it's all right i've just got to face up to it what well my responsibilities
26:22you mean me and the baby yeah of course that's why i'm trying to change you know i try to
26:29be more
26:31responsible i don't want you to change lucky the way you are
26:38i better be going now i don't want to get back too late all right
26:53good night
27:18good night