00:05Search Me
00:07There is a prayer most of us pray without meaning to.
00:11God, help me stop thinking like this.
00:13It is honest.
00:15It is also, usually, a request to skip a step.
00:19David prayed something different.
00:21Search me, God, and know my heart.
00:24Test me and know my anxious thoughts.
00:27Read that again slowly because it is not what you would expect.
00:31He does not ask God to remove the anxious thoughts.
00:34He asks him to come and look at them.
00:37That is a different posture entirely.
00:40One says, clean this up before you look.
00:43The other says, come and look and then we will see what needs cleaning.
00:48Most of us are doing the first.
00:50We are sorting our own minds out quietly,
00:53hoping to arrive at a version of ourselves fit to bring into the room.
00:57And so the thoughts we are most ashamed of,
01:00the resentful ones, the fearful ones,
01:02the ones we would never say out loud,
01:05are the exact ones we keep back.
01:07But God is not waiting at the door for you to finish tidying.
01:11There is nothing in your mind He has not already seen,
01:14and He has not walked away from any of it.
01:17The thoughts you hide keep their power.
01:20The ones you bring into the light stop being secrets
01:23and start being something you and God are looking at together.
01:28Today's step, pick the thought you would least want to say out loud.
01:32Say it to God plainly, without softening it,
01:36not as a confession to get through, but as a thing to show Him.
01:40Psalm 139 is in the Bible precisely because someone dared to pray that way.
01:45Read Psalms 139 verses 1-4
01:50Psalms 139 verses 23-24
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