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00:00I've been thinking about what I could do on a night time
00:02as a hobby
00:04and I was going to go to college again
00:07but actually I might just take on dancing
00:09You've never been to college abs?
00:11I have, when?
00:13I have?
00:14When have you been to college?
00:16Excuse me, I've got my level 1 and 2 hair dressing
00:18level 2 and 3 business administration
00:21I've been to college for the last 10 years
00:23forgot about that
00:28Woohoo! Let's go!
00:30This is weird
00:32Get in!
00:34Oh, don't be mean
00:36No!
00:38Crikey
00:38I can't even pronounce that a terrible assolata
00:42What is that?
00:43Pearl
00:43Oh, clever you
00:45Ooh!
00:46How exciting!
00:47Matching, shells, suits
00:48Uncle David used to sell them
00:50Wah wah wah wah wah
00:51Buff buff
00:52Oh, look at the red Louboutins
00:54Ooh!
00:54I'm going to have to start watching this
00:56Oh dear, I've seen it all now, Mary
00:58What does that mean?
00:59I'm not good with riddles
01:00Oh!
01:02See, that's what I love about
01:03I like a bargain bucket
01:05I want something I can dip chips in
01:06Yeah
01:06No!
01:08Oh, here we go, did
01:08Here we go, look at shell
01:10We need some of this
01:12We've got little to no etiquette
01:14It's nice to see a child
01:15without an iPad and a vape stick
01:18hanging out of its mouth
01:19Yes
01:19In the week Hearsay and Liberty X got the bands back together
01:24We enjoyed lots of great telly
01:27The usual shenanigans from SW3 were keeping us busy on E4
01:36Did you ever look like that in a bit?
01:38I once
01:38Did you ever look like that?
01:40What, did you wear jewellery and all like that in a bikini?
01:42No, no, no
01:43I wore my goggles
01:45round my neck
01:46The hoodwinking and double crossing continue to have us gripped
01:52This is gonna mess with everybody's heads
01:54Let's do this
01:57I'm not down with anyone in a black cloak, you know
02:00Saying that though, I'm not really down with anyone in a white cloak
02:02I was gonna say, I'll take a black hole for a while
02:04Yeah, yeah, yeah
02:05And it was all spandex, spinning and sparkle on BBC One
02:17You see, I'm gutted, mate
02:18Cos rugby ended my dancing career
02:21I should've known not to play rugby
02:22I'm not built for it, am I?
02:24You're not
02:24If anything, I'm too big
02:25Yeah
02:26If anything, you should've just stuck to a cheerleading
02:29Yeah
02:30Do you know what?
02:31I'd have been a cracking little jewellery, didn't I?
02:42What are we going to do about this picture, Mary?
02:45It's a signed print
02:48Print, even?
02:49It's a print
02:49It's not even an original work
02:51Okay, let me have a look
02:52And the artist is called Bernard Buffett
02:56Okay, let me Google him
02:57Like a Buffett service
02:59Giles and his wife, Mary
03:00Original oil paintings reach up to 2.1 million
03:04While mass market prints command much lower figures
03:08Yes, thank you
03:09Well, what do you mean much?
03:11Well, just our luck that we should inherit a bloody mass market print
03:14Giles!
03:15Which is worth ten pounds
03:16What are you talking about?
03:17Original signed limited edition lithographs range from roughly 2,000 to 10,000
03:23What?
03:23Why are you so absurd?
03:25That's fantastic, Mary
03:27Then we can go to Tenerife
03:30On Saturday, the celebs were sweating it out on the dance floor again on BBC One
03:35I've found a dance class that I'm going to start going to
03:38Really?
03:39It's a Morris dancing class
03:40Oh?
03:41On a Thursday evening at the town hall
03:44Do you want to escape for a little bit of me time, darling?
03:47I just want to hit people with sticks
03:48Oh
03:49Oh
03:52Jesus
04:00He stalked, the volume stalked
04:04What?
04:04LAUGHTER
04:09You love your Strictly, don't you?
04:10Oh, yeah
04:11It's actually good that he's actually grown on you
04:13Yeah, he has because before I was like, drop me out, but now I'm kind of like
04:17Yeah
04:18Yeah, yeah, you're rolling the shoulders, yeah
04:20Yeah
04:20It's what Saturday night's about, isn't it?
04:22Yeah, you lot say Strictly and I'm like, oh
04:23Oh
04:25APPLAUSE
04:26Dancing the salsa, Delta Goodrum and Kai Widgerton
04:30Did she do Eurovision?
04:31Yeah, for Australia
04:33Do you know what, Delta Goodrum is the working man at Jennifer Lopez
04:36She is
04:37MUSIC PLAYS
04:41Yes, Delta
04:42Oh, soon!
04:45MUSIC PLAYS
04:47Oh, my God
04:49This is like all my Strictly outfit dreams come true
04:53What's she wearing?
04:54I don't know, but it's ridiculous leg warmers or whatever they are
04:58Leg warmers
04:59MUSIC PLAYS
05:05Oh, my God
05:07Go on, Delta
05:08She can dance, look at that
05:13Oh, shimmy, shimmy, shimmy
05:15Well, my chicken fillet, now they fell off
05:18SHE LAUGHS
05:22SHE LAUGHS
05:23Come on, Trent, give us a day
05:26Where I want to be
05:27What?
05:28She's loving it, she's singing along here and everything
05:30She's very good
05:34I wonder if she's ever heard of this song before, because obviously she's Australian, isn't she?
05:39I would have thought so
05:41They'll have music in Australia
05:42SHE LAUGHS
05:47Oh, my goodness
05:49Oh, shit
05:55She picked up all the dust off that floor
05:57See, that's handy for sweeping up as well, isn't it?
06:00You've got two, like, feather dusters on your legs
06:02I like microfiber cloths, isn't it?
06:04MUSIC PLAYS
06:11MUSIC PLAYS
06:12Lee, I feel C6 out of here
06:15GOING UP AND DOWN
06:16I'd like to be Delta
06:18And I'd like you to be him
06:20I'd love you to be Delta, actually
06:22SHE LAUGHS
06:23MUSIC PLAYS
06:28God, man, I'm putting my back out just watching it
06:31Why don't you check me around like that, then?
06:35Why? Because I'm 71 years of age going on
06:39MUSIC PLAYS
06:40MUSIC PLAYS
06:44Oh, shit
06:45OK, right
06:46Wow
06:46OK
06:48Whoever's made that costume deserves knighting
06:51Because the strength in that gusset needs to be
06:54Yeah, 10-10
06:55Yeah, the unwavering trust Delta having that
06:58It is phenomenal
07:05She is amazing
07:06Amazing, darling
07:08She's amazing, darling
07:10Now, I'm disappointed
07:11Where?
07:13Because I was trying to find some flaws, but...
07:15LAUGHTER
07:16That was none
07:17None in that
07:18She rarely called Delta
07:19LAUGHTER
07:20Worries me
07:22You have a baby put in your arms
07:24And someone says, what shall I call it?
07:26Oh, I can't wait to call it Delta
07:27It looks just like a Delta
07:30LAUGHTER
07:30LAUGHTER
07:36In Suri...
07:37This look that you're giving me at the moment is not a very friendly look
07:39I'm just looking at you, it's my normal look at you, that's it
07:43I'm not looking at you any different
07:44It's very worrying when you're looking at me like that
07:47Sarah, her husband Andre and their daughter Shay
07:51You know, I don't know if I should look at you or not
07:55So keep smiling, I much prefer that one
07:58That's the one
08:00That's a fake smile
08:01Is it?
08:01That's the one I got married to
08:03LAUGHTER
08:07This week, we had our regular dose of Weatherfield dramas on ITV1
08:12I am so ready for a bit of Coronation Street
08:16Deb, Sally, Rita Fairclough, Emily
08:19I want to know what's happening
08:20Simon, most of them have died now
08:24Keep up
08:25Shona and David are a couple
08:26Jodie, Shona's sister, has come out of nowhere
08:29We don't know her background
08:30She seems a bit weird, seems a bit unhinged
08:32Turns out she is unhinged
08:34And she's trying to steal David from Shona, her own sister
08:40It's a TV first where two females are fighting over David Platt
08:44I didn't think I'd see it in my lifetime
08:48Well...
08:54There's Jodie
08:55Is that Jodie, isn't it?
08:56She's the estranged sister
08:57Why is she watching over on him like that?
08:59Yeah, that's a bit creepy though
09:00Sorry
09:02Dozed off
09:03You must have needed it
09:06You look so peaceful
09:08Oh, heavens
09:09Is she infatuated with him?
09:11Yeah
09:12She's obsessed
09:13She's not infatuated
09:14She's obsessed
09:15She said you were doing a bit of Scran
09:17I expected
09:19Cheese sandwich
09:20And a
09:21Bag of ready salted
09:22She's playing a game of your show
09:24Of course she is, look
09:25She's after him
09:26Yeah
09:26Best grub I've had in a while, this
09:30Don't let my sister hear you say that
10:00Oh
10:01Jodie wants to hear
10:03Talk about encourage a situation
10:05Yes
10:06Yes
10:06Yes
10:07You deserve
10:08Someone
10:09That will treat you right
10:10She's conniving, isn't she?
10:12Well, he's felt right into her spider's web, hasn't he?
10:16Come on, David
10:16Like
10:17You know what you were saying before?
10:18Don't fall for these tricks
10:19He's like
10:20She's evil
10:24David
10:25When are you going to choose you?
10:27He's just put his mobile under a napkin
10:28What's he doing?
10:30Is he recording her?
10:31Why did you...
10:31Oh, I don't know
10:32Surely not
10:33You do realise that
10:35We could have been together all this time
10:37Oh my gosh
10:39She's laying it on thick now, isn't she?
10:41It's what I've wanted since the moment I met you, David
10:44It's all been about you
10:47Even David's like
10:48What?
10:50Yeah
10:51Yeah
10:51Yeah
10:51Yeah
10:54Where's Jeremy Beedle?
10:59Oh!
11:00Oh!
11:01Oh, it's Shona
11:02Shona
11:05It's too late
11:06He's not yours anymore
11:08What?
11:09He's not yours anymore
11:10David's like
11:11Do I get a sec?
11:13You know, I can help you both if you want
11:15Oh, I'm sorry darling, but ears
11:18Oh
11:18Shona's fighting for a man
11:20Oh, this is like Dallas only in Salford
11:23You're going to need to pack your stuff and go and live with Roy or...
11:27Whoa!
11:28She's getting ahead of herself
11:29I tell you what, she's got some front Jodie actually saying to Shona
11:33I know
11:33Who owns the house that she's stood in
11:36You'll have to pack your shit up and go and stay at Roy's
11:38Yeah
11:38You can't have all the good stuff
11:41And David's like, I'm the good stuff?
11:45Me and David are going to be together
11:47We are, aren't we?
11:49David hasn't even said a word
11:50What?
11:52Why hasn't he said a word?
11:55Not exactly
11:56Oh
11:57Not exactly
11:58Oh
11:59How would they set her up?
12:04Shona's heard it all
12:05Shona has heard it all
12:06Nice one, David
12:08I said, didn't I, when he put his mobile under the neck and he was up to something
12:11That is the David Platt winner
12:14There he is
12:17What's this?
12:18That's the box of shit she's been collecting
12:21Oh, she's got all sorts in that box, Lee
12:23Oh, I know
12:24There's everything in that box
12:25It's not milk tray chocolates, I'll tell you now, you'll watch
12:28Who are we today then?
12:31DS Swain?
12:32What?
12:35Oh God, she's a proper con woman
12:36What's this?
12:38Gets better
12:38Shona Platt
12:40What is that picture?
12:41She cut the picture of Shona out and stuck her own face on it on a wedding photo
12:45That's proper old schooler, innit?
12:47You can tell her eyes not reach the cobbles
12:51I'm calling Lisa
12:52Who's Lisa?
12:53Police woman that lives next door and she's still a bad shoe nanny in for them
12:59Oh!
13:00She just pulled that out of nowhere
13:01Fucking hell, that's such a turn, innit?
13:04She's got a pace
13:04You've already pointed that at me before, love
13:06Yeah
13:07Come on, Jodie, we know the guns are fake
13:09You've got a toy gun?
13:10I don't know if it's a toy gun, G
13:12I wouldn't put it past Jodie for it to be real
13:14I'll show you how real this is
13:15Oh!
13:16Something isn't real just because you're saying it
13:18Get off, Jodie!
13:19What the fuck is going on?
13:21Oh, they're fighting over the gun, you know what happens, somebody always gets shot when they fight over a gun
13:26Get off!
13:28Oh, it's gone off
13:29Oh, it's gone off
13:31Oh, it's shot off
13:33Jodie
13:35Oh, it's Jodie
13:36Oh no
13:37I mean, to be fair, she brought it on herself
13:39Shona
13:41Every time I watch Coronation Street, I just get a headache
13:44I just get a headache
13:46It's so true though, innit?
13:47Why is there so much going on?
13:49It's so true, your eyes are going like
14:00In Leeds
14:01I went to the pumpkin thing yesterday, didn't I? With the kids, yeah?
14:04We're in this enchanted forest, I'm dying for the toilet
14:07So, there's some like cabin toilets, half way round, great
14:11Sisters Ellie and Izzy
14:13These cubicles were very small, I turned round to sit on the toilet
14:18And you're never going to believe what happened
14:21What?
14:22I caught the inside of my mouth
14:27On the door handle
14:29I was like
14:35Did you put hand sanitiser in your mouth after?
14:38Yeah
14:39I'm not even joking
14:40Did you?
14:41I was like
14:43I was panicking, I didn't know what to do
14:45I was like
14:47On Monday, it was trust funds at the ready
14:50As we headed to London's poshest neighbourhood on E4
14:53No, I'm not lying with my dog, Nassie
14:56Leave him alone, you're becoming a sex pest
15:02You know, I love this song so much that I have it on my playlist
15:05It's called Min Nassie
15:07What's actually going on though with me and Chugs?
15:10We don't communicate about emotions or feelings with each other
15:12So, Zeno's been shagging Chugs
15:15But she's also seen a bit of Sam
15:18I was kissing Marley an hour before and then I'm just kissing Zeno
15:22Oh, here he is, here he is
15:24He's a troublemaker
15:25Oh, lovely to like shit-starer, isn't he? Go on, Sam
15:28So, Sam has got two lasses on the gore, we can't decide, we're 21s
15:35Half the stuff in my house is made in China
15:43David, look at this
15:44It's incredible
15:45Can I tell you something, you have done, you always do a good job, but this is spectacular
15:48The Penn Estate in Dorset, write that down, Steve, because I might want to visit
15:52So, you've got chemistry and a bit of a spark with Marley
15:56Yeah
15:56But you see your future with Zeno
15:58Potentially, yeah
15:58Typical Sam behaviour, can I just say
16:00Every season, he's the same boy
16:02It never changes
16:03No character development, can I just say
16:05Why do you not just cut Marley out?
16:08Yeah
16:08Because Zeno's running around with Buddy Chugs
16:10So, we've got Chugs, Zeno, Marley
16:14What happened to names like Anne and Derek?
16:18I'm lost between Chugs and everything here now
16:20Chugs isn't there
16:22Wow
16:23Hey, Dad
16:25Who should turn up but Marley?
16:28Good to see you
16:29Missed you
16:30Oh, he's such a creep, isn't he?
16:32Missed you
16:33I missed you so much that I was snogging someone else
16:36Right
16:39What's up with that?
16:42What's all that about?
16:44It's our first holiday together
16:45Yeah
16:46I think it could be a new beginning
16:47New beginning
16:48So, we don't talk about anything that's happened in the past
16:50Because I might trip yourself up
16:51That makes me very happy
16:54Oh, hello
16:56Oh, wow
16:57Straight in
16:58That was so random
16:59That
16:59I think Sam just kisses girls when he doesn't know what to say
17:05He's run out of things to say
17:06It's not a bad thing to do
17:07It wasn't long before Sam stumbled across his other love interest
17:11Girls, how are we?
17:13Hey
17:14Is that Chugs?
17:15There's the Casanova
17:16No, that's Tweeps
17:17Or Temps
17:17That's Sam
17:19Bye, happy me
17:20Might see me later on this Shrez along
17:22There's Zeno
17:23And then there were two
17:24There were two
17:25My favourite two
17:27What's this?
17:28Why are they all not talking like that?
17:30Why is she swinging round like Benham?
17:33We should go on a date here
17:35Here?
17:36Here
17:36What about your other date?
17:37Do you want double boot yourself?
17:38Check your diary
17:40We could do a little sweet date, you know
17:41A little picnic or something
17:42I would so do that
17:43I love a picnic
17:45Oh
17:45Oh, you follow shit, ain't he?
17:48I do see something maybe with us one day
17:50I did kiss Molly earlier
17:52Today?
17:53Yeah
17:54God
17:54But she seems quite cool about it
17:57At least it's been honest for once
17:58Yeah
17:59Well, let's face it at least
18:01She's involved with, what's his name?
18:03Chuck
18:03Chuck
18:05But you also were saying one thing that you don't see it going anywhere with her
18:08So why are you?
18:09You say something about Chugs
18:11Yeah, fair
18:13So valid
18:17He's Frenching everyone, isn't he?
18:19Yeah
18:19Close my eyes
18:21Oh
18:22Oh, is that Molly?
18:24Oh, God
18:28She's clapping
18:28Court red-handed
18:30We need popcorn for this
18:32So were we going to be boyfriend and girlfriend before or after this finish?
18:35Ooh, before
18:37Before
18:38Before
18:38Before
18:39Before
18:39Yeah, before
18:40Genuinely, for you, I actually care about you and I really do wish you well
18:43And if that
18:43He makes you happy
18:45Genuinely
18:45I'm happy you're happy
18:47I don't think she genuinely meant that
18:48Like, I don't think she genuinely meant it
18:50Because the more times you genuinely say it, it genuinely doesn't mean it
18:54You
18:56Babe
18:56I don't think you'd know happiness if it smacked you in the fucking face, so
19:01Go on
19:01Make your exit and stay away
19:03And she earned her self-respect back
19:05Yeah, well done
19:06I hope she never repeats her actions from earlier
19:10A bit later, it was time to face the music and the whole Chelsea crew at lunch
19:15Marley, Sam, where did you both go last night? You went off for an hour
19:19What?
19:20Hang on, Marley and Sam
19:22Was it just a conversation?
19:24So much to catch up on
19:24Did you hook up?
19:26Did they hook up?
19:27Huh?
19:27We had a kiss
19:28Where'd they kiss?
19:29Was it just a kiss?
19:30I mean...
19:31Marley sat there, baby
19:34Oh, God
19:35Marley, you were so upset with Sam the night before
19:38You slept with each other
19:38I slept with him
19:39Wait, what?
19:40We do have a connection
19:41There is lots of chemistry there
19:42And I think since we have slept with each other
19:46Marley and Sam
19:47It's the skill key
19:48Don't judge her
19:50You're not in the relationship, don't judge her
19:52We listen and we don't judge
19:55Things have changed, like, dramatically
19:57What?
19:59This guy
20:01This guy
20:02So you kissed Marley, kissed Zayno
20:05Oh, God
20:06Then slept with Marley
20:06He's like me, he's trying to figure out what the fuck's going on
20:08We have amazing chemistry
20:09I'm actually fine
20:10No, don't go away
20:12No, no, I'm actually just, I'm super, super done
20:14I'd get up and all
20:15Would you?
20:16Look, you talk about your sex life, you don't have it
20:20Look, the halibut's coming out in a minute, sit down
20:23We've got monkfish
20:29In North London
20:30So what have you been doing this week then?
20:32This week, I was with Mo
20:34And who is Mo?
20:36Mo is my personal trainer
20:37Well, that sounds a bit posh
20:39Max and his mum, Sandy
20:41So, show us your guns, come on
20:43My guns?
20:44Okay
20:45Ooh, look at that
20:47That's my gun
20:48That is solid
20:49That is solid
20:51How about this one?
20:52Well, look at this one
20:53Oh, gosh
20:54Yeah
20:55Look at mine
20:56Ooh
20:57That's it
20:58Oh, I
20:59Do you not want to feel my guns?
21:01Er, the
21:02It's too soft
21:05On Saturday, there was some rustic cooking in the countryside on ITV
21:10James used to call me Carbon Lara
21:12Yes, he was quite right, you burnt everything
21:15I don't think I particularly want to watch somebody living their best life in a lovely house and garden
21:21Would you be jealous, Mary?
21:23I thought you weren't jealous
21:25Well, I'm fed up with my own cottage being a dump
21:28I'm Clodagh McKenna, I'm a chef and writer
21:31Oh, hiya, Clodagh
21:32I recognise her, she's been on this morning
21:34I love living out here in the countryside
21:36I would too, if I had that bloody house
21:38Looking after our animals
21:40You may fall in love
21:42Our garden
21:43It's making me feel very, very bitter and twisted
21:46Yeah, same
21:47And cooking delicious food for my wonderful family and friends
21:51Oh, what a cow, she's got wonderful family and friends
21:54Now you've sprung it on me, Mary, saying my brother's coming for lunch tomorrow
21:59Sprung it? You invited them?
22:00I never expected them to say yes
22:02This is Clodagh, cooking at home
22:07I want to be Clodagh
22:08How can I be more Clodagh?
22:11I am making a delicious walled garden vegetable soup
22:14It's all full of veg, you know
22:17It's got to be
22:18Yeah, see this vegetable soup
22:20It's so delicious
22:22I squirrel away soups like this
22:25Is she irritating you already?
22:26Yes
22:27So I've got some olive oil in here
22:29I'm putting in some parsnips
22:31Oh, they take ages to cook then
22:33Oh, they've lost me with
22:34Oh, I ate it
22:35Take hours
22:36And some beautiful celery
22:38Have you got beautiful celery?
22:41No
22:41A sprinkle of sea salt
22:43Black pepper
22:46That's how you know somebody's doing well
22:47When they've got a big pepper grinder
22:49Yeah, like you work in Italian
22:50Yeah
22:51Hoi, hoi, hoi
22:54Butter wrapper
22:55Butter wrapper
22:56Never throw out your butter wrappers
22:58What?
22:59What's she going to do with that?
23:00Of course, she's on the Kerrygold
23:02Knew she'd be on the Kerrygold
23:03Because they make the best sweating aids
23:09Sweating aids?
23:09Sweating aids?
23:11What, she's going to put that in the pan?
23:12No, she's going to wipe her head with it like
23:14What do you think she's going to do with it?
23:16This is really good
23:17This really seals in all the vegetables
23:19I pop that down
23:20Mum used to do this
23:22Right
23:23That's classic French cooking
23:25Okay
23:25Can you put your plastic tub in?
23:28While that's sweating
23:29Let me tell you about my pickling shed
23:32Oh, a pickling shed, Mary
23:34Oh, I'd love a pickling shed
23:35I'd just like a fucking shed
23:37I'd just like
23:37Every kind of vegetable we do
23:39We have beet roots
23:40We've got cucumbers
23:42We've got courgettes
23:43She's a serious pickler, Simon
23:45She's obviously got a lot of time
23:47To do all this, hasn't she?
23:49Well, she don't need an ordinary job
23:51She's married to the aristocracy, Steve
23:53You know
23:53This is my lavender water
23:55That I made last year
23:57Oh, okay, Megan
23:59Yeah
24:00Oh, Lord
24:00And I've got them beside everybody's beds in the house
24:03Bloody hell
24:04She's not sitting in front of the telly
24:06Watching Law & Order, is she?
24:07I'm going to let that simmer away
24:09Until the vegetables are cooked
24:12What can I do in ten minutes?
24:15Doom squirrel
24:16That's what I'd do in a free ten minutes
24:18Absolutely
24:19I could just chill out
24:21And have a little bit of lavender water
24:30I like you, you know
24:31She doesn't get stressed, does she?
24:34So, I'm popping in all that gorgeous kale that I picked
24:38Oh!
24:40What a way to ruin your wild garden soup
24:42Stick a load of kale in it
24:44Over here, I've got some beans or legumes
24:47Oh, we like a bean
24:48These are cannellini beans
24:50Could you use baked beans and just rinse the tomato sauce off?
24:54Okay, that's it, folks
24:56That's it?
24:57Oh, it's done, done
24:57Yeah
24:59So good for you
25:01In fairness, that does look really good, doesn't it?
25:04Yeah
25:05Do you know what you'd have after you ate cloud of soup?
25:07Wind
25:08I like finishing it off with some parmesan cheese
25:11Oh, it's some cheese on the top
25:12Oh, nice
25:13I don't mind if I do
25:14It's like that parmesan reggiano, innit?
25:17I don't know, love
25:18I...
25:19I don't eat anything like that, for Christ's sake
25:23Parmesan reggiano, who's he?
25:26Me and Clodagh are basically the same person
25:28We both have dungarees, she's got chickens
25:31We like making soup, we like growing our own veg
25:34Ooh, what would you give for a pickling shed?
25:37Except I ain't got a pickling shed
25:39I've got three caravans
25:40Maybe
25:42I'll let Clodagh don't have that!
25:51In home
25:52I forgot to tell you, Sydney, when I went shopping
25:55Oh, yeah
25:55I got an air fryer as well
25:56What?
25:57What have you got an air fryer for?
25:59You've got one
25:59I've got four
26:01LAUGHTER
26:02Best friends Jenny and Lee
26:05But...
26:05Makes me laugh, Jenny
26:06You don't even use them
26:07I know what Ray does
26:08I like to keep him sweet
26:10I like to keep him sweet
26:12That little small one
26:14It's not very good
26:15So I just bought a little bit bigger
26:17The pan's bigger
26:18Oh, the one I got you, you mean?
26:20No
26:20The small one
26:21Oh, yeah
26:23Get rid of that
26:24That's shit
26:25Yeah, it was shit
26:25Look
26:27Yeah, it was
26:29On Tuesday night
26:30There were more temptations in the jungle on Channel 4
26:34Are you easily tempted as a person?
26:36Oh, it depends what you're referring to
26:37Is tempted?
26:39LAUGHTER
26:39Would you like 300,000 or a packet of biscuits?
26:43Biscuits
26:43LAUGHTER
26:47You're more willing to spend and I have tighter purse strings
26:50I think that's the difference between me and you
26:54You don't consider what you're spending, really
26:56Well, I'm what's classed as a dink
26:59What the hell is that?
27:01Dual income, no kids
27:02There you go
27:03Whereas I am fucked
27:05LAUGHTER
27:07It's not every day you see an ATM in the middle of the jungle
27:11Oh, it's a cash machine
27:12It's a cash machine
27:13It's a cash machine
27:14Don't tell me you could draw money out yourself
27:16What, and keep it?
27:17Yeah
27:18We've put £25,000 on this
27:21£25,000?
27:22If they're tempting people with cash now
27:24I'm taking it all
27:26Oh, bloody hell
27:27The newly elected camp leader will face the ATM first
27:30Oh, my God
27:32You can take £10,000
27:34They decide whether to withdraw some money and secure it for themselves
27:38Oh, my God
27:39Oh
27:39Can I go again and again, though?
27:42Or do I only get to go once?
27:44So, Kieran's been elected the new leader
27:47And as the group's only remaining non-spender
27:50He's about to have a dilemma on his hands
27:52I like this man
27:53Don't, don't tempt him, please
27:55He's a man with resilience, okay?
27:57That's hard to find
28:00I've seen zero, £3,000, £6,000 and £10,000
28:05£10,000
28:06£10,000
28:06We could get a new Skoda
28:08The new Skoda Yeti for £10,000 with leather seats
28:12With a two-week-old baby
28:13That money will really help, like, a lot
28:15I mean, if he's left his partner and two-week-old baby at home to go on this
28:20He better bring back some bloody cash
28:22Absolutely
28:22Or he won't be allowed back through the door
28:24I came in here as a team player
28:27I'm thinking about my campmates
28:29And I don't want to come back as a bit of a hypocrite
28:31And also let myself down
28:32Mate, they've took the pure piss
28:34Take the £10,000
28:35But then...
28:37The flip side to that is they're jumping on yachts
28:40Yes!
28:41Exactly, exactly!
28:42There you go!
28:43Let them stay with me
28:44Take your £10,000, my brother
28:47Having spas
28:48Taking KFC for £500
28:50Yes!
28:52So they don't give a F about me
28:53So why should I give an F about them?
28:56Exactly
28:57Exactly!
28:57So £10,000 it is
28:59Yes!
29:00I might be excited that you've done that
29:02Yeah, yeah, yeah
29:03Do you blame him?
29:05Nah
29:05I feel like the only person besides me who deserves this
29:10It'll be Schaff
29:11Yeah, Schaff
29:12It's Schaff
29:12Yeah!
29:14Yeah, because Schaff hasn't took the piss either
29:16I feel like the people that have abstained are getting their pay off now
29:20Yeah!
29:23That's a lot of money
29:24That's a lot of money
29:25That's a lot of money
29:26I just don't want to take away from anyone else
29:28No!
29:29Go for it!
29:30Oh!
29:30Yes!
29:31Oh, Schaff
29:32Chuck your morals in the bin son and press £10,000
29:34But I'm just...
29:35That could change my life
29:37Take it then!
29:38Because I would
29:38He's in front of me and I don't know what to do
29:42Oh, just take it please, Schaff
29:43You're going on my fucking nerves now
29:45Yes, I don't know
29:46I work so hard
29:47I work shift patterns
29:48I work weekends
29:49I don't have a social life
29:50Works weekends
29:51I don't have a social life
29:52A man after my own half
29:58So fuck it, I'm taking £10,000
30:00Yes!
30:03He said fuck it
30:05After another couple of withdrawals
30:08Oh, I have to do it
30:10Six is good
30:11But I'm going to go with two
30:12That's it Lee!
30:13Yeah
30:13That's all the money gone
30:14Oh my god
30:16Oh my god
30:16So there's nothing left?
30:18Wow
30:19It was Nico's turn to step up to the ATM
30:22I don't know how much is left on this card
30:24Oh!
30:25Oh!
30:27I'll tell you there's not all
30:28There could be maybe like 10,000 left possibly
30:33Wishful thinking
30:34If money was ever presented to me
30:36Money was going to be the option I would take over any temptations
30:39Because I'm at least going home of a guaranteed amount
30:42You're not
30:48Guys, please don't hate me for this decision
30:50Oh, I think you'll be fine
30:56Insufficient funds
30:59I've seen that so many times, Julie
31:02Please try a lower
31:03He's going to go through all of it
31:04Six
31:05I'll go a bit lower
31:06I'll go to the six
31:08Ah
31:11Insufficient funds
31:12Oh, you'd be fuming
31:14Nah, this is wrong
31:15This is wrong, man
31:17This is so wrong
31:18I'm now going to try the 2,000 and see if that works
31:23What?
31:24What?
31:25Here goes nothing
31:33Oh, mate
31:34Just shows you what money does to people, doesn't it?
31:37Well, I know
31:37I'm glad I ain't got none
31:40I'm glad I ain't got none
31:42When's your next cruise?
31:48In Yorkshire
31:50So, oh my god
31:51Thank you so much for my birthday present
31:53Oh, yes
31:54It's so chuffed
31:56Let me show you
31:58Is it going to work?
32:00Ta-ta
32:00Who got them in?
32:02Sarah and her daughter-in-law, Lara
32:05I'm so chuffed with it
32:07Oh, good
32:07It's absolutely perfect
32:09I had no idea how it was going to work
32:10And I didn't know it was able to
32:13Ah!
32:16I never unpacked it, as you can see
32:19Okay, so now we go like
32:22That one goes in
32:23Yeah, there you go
32:24Then it pops
32:25And then it pops
32:26Done
32:27It's good
32:28That is so...
32:33On Wednesday night, Ross Kemp was back building bridges on the BBC
32:38Oh, I'm actually rather excited
32:40Because I do love a quiz
32:43You'll like this one, because I like it
32:45Yes, I'll like it if you like it
32:47I just love anything Ross Kemp, I can't get enough of
32:50And I love how people don't call him Ross
32:53It's Ross Kemp
32:54You've got to say Ross Kemp
32:56Yeah
32:56Welcome to the Bridge of Lies
32:59Where winning is simple
33:01You know what I like about Ross Kemp?
33:03Whatever the occasion, he tries to dress like a security agent
33:07Yes
33:07He's got a black T-shirt and a black suit jacket on there
33:10Yeah
33:11When you've got a funeral at one and you're doing the doors at six
33:13Yeah
33:14With Bridge of Lies in the gooch
33:16Yes!
33:17Bridge, please reveal the second category
33:19The second category is...
33:23Birds
33:24Birds?
33:25Oh, I'd be fucked with that
33:26Do we know birds?
33:28Not really
33:29No
33:29My guanda had a pet pigeon for years
33:33It lived in his bathroom
33:37We are looking for things which are birds
33:40Or have a type of bird in their name
33:43So like Florence Nightingale
33:45Cheryl Crow
33:48She's a bird
33:49Oh, yeah
33:50Cape...
33:51Oh, no, it's not Cape Thrush, is it?
33:54Roald Dahl's fantastic title animal
33:58No, that's Fox
33:59Tweety from the Looney Tunes
34:02Tweety from the Looney Tunes is a bird
34:04Step on it
34:04Tweety pie from the Looney Tunes is definitely a bird
34:08Yes
34:08Yes, jump on that one
34:10That opens up Winnie the Pooh's friend Christopher something
34:14Christopher Robin
34:15Christopher's a human, isn't it? Christopher Robin
34:17Yeah, Robin
34:18Robin
34:19Robin
34:19Oh, Robin
34:21Zoe in Peppa Pig
34:23No, Zoe's a zebra in Peppa Pig
34:25I do know that
34:26We don't watch Peppa Pig in our house because Peppa's quite rude
34:30She is
34:31Really?
34:31She's savage
34:32That opens up Harper Lee's lawyer character Atticus something
34:38Atticus Finch to kill a mockingbird
34:40My favourite book
34:42I think this might be birdie, even though I don't know a lot about guv
34:45What are you doing, lady? It's Atticus Finch
34:47It's an albatross
34:49That was a very good guess
34:50Gub-gub in Dr Doolittle's books
34:53What?
34:54Oh, yes, Gub-gub
34:55Gub-gub was a bird, wasn't it?
34:58Odin's creature, Hugin and Moonin
35:01Oh, my God, I won't have a clue
35:02Eh, well, Odin was a water saw
35:05Seagull
35:05Right, let's just go for a gu... guess
35:08There we are
35:09She'll give birth before she makes it across that bridge
35:12That is the truth, they're ravens
35:14That opens up animal on the national flag of Uganda
35:17Oh, I don't know
35:18Yeah, I think that one
35:20OK
35:20I think that one is a good one
35:21Come on, then
35:22Oh, my gosh, my best friend's Uganda and I should know this
35:25What animal's under?
35:26Is it a bird?
35:27Yes, it is a bird
35:28Yes, it is
35:29Flags aren't my strong point either
35:32But...
35:32It'll be a bird, just step on us
35:34She's going for it
35:34Truth or lie
35:37It's a crane
35:38Yes
35:39She's good, isn't she?
35:40Talk about fluky
35:41Yeah, she is fluky
35:42Film featuring Humphrey Bogart as Sam Spade
35:45Eh, what they call the film?
35:46Summit Falcon
35:47Eh
35:49Oh...
35:49It's the last falcon
35:51The Maltese falcon
35:52Falcor in the never-ending story novels
35:55Falcor, that's got to be a falcon
35:57Falcor does sound like a bird's name
35:59One minute
36:00No, it's a dragon
36:01Truth or lie
36:02She's gone for the other one
36:03Oh
36:03Oh, OK
36:04That is the truth, Maltese falcon
36:07Maltese falcon
36:07So close
36:09She's winging this very impressively
36:13Bacardi's vodka brand grey something
36:16Grey goose
36:17Goose
36:18Grey goose
36:19She can't go backwards
36:20She's got to go forwards
36:21Oh, yeah, the grey goose
36:23Oh, but I'm going back
36:24Oh
36:25Whoa
36:25Why are you going back?
36:27Oh
36:28Yes
36:28We need to go forwards
36:29Let's just go here
36:30Uh oh
36:31Wait, she didn't even read it
36:32She just, she just jumped up
36:34She didn't even read it
36:35It's going to be wrong
36:35Truth or lie
36:3630 seconds remaining
36:38That's Stephen Crane
36:39Oh
36:40She's just random now
36:42Her knowledge in birds is insane
36:44Pertalot in the Canterbury Tales
36:46Pertalotty
36:47Pertalotty in the Canterbury Tales
36:48Canterbury Tales
36:49But I've no idea
36:50Winged animal Bartok in Anastasia film
36:53If it's got wings, that's a bird
36:54Just stand on us
36:54You've got 16 seconds
36:55I think he's a bat
36:57Oh, she's saying that's a bat
36:58No
36:59No
36:59She thinks he's a bat
37:01So
37:02Truth or lie
37:03Oh God
37:04That is the truth
37:05Oh my God
37:07Suck it out
37:08She's only done it
37:10Well, do you feel like you know your birds a bit better now, Simon?
37:14I don't know, Jane
37:17Maybe the category that I would need would be cheese
37:22Yeah?
37:23Because my knowledge is quite good with cheese
37:25I would probably just choose animals
37:28Anything animal wise
37:30Mine could be cheese
37:33Or
37:37Soup
37:48In Newcastle
37:49I heard something absolutely wonderful at work this week
37:51Right?
37:52It was just spectacular in its innocence
37:54Brothers Mark and Steve
37:57So, one of the girls that I work with genuinely asked me a question
38:01How does paracetamol know where to go?
38:05I said, I beg your pardon?
38:07She went, well, you know, if I've got a sore head and I have a paracetamol then it goes to
38:10my head, doesn't it?
38:11But I had a sore finger the other day, and I had a paracetamol
38:14How did it know to go under my finger?
38:17I was like, I'm not sure that's actually how it works, you know
38:22Well, is it not?
38:24On Thursday night, the plot thickened on BBC One
38:28As we were all clutching our capes for this
38:31I'm so excited by this
38:34It's absolutely gripping
38:35You will be getting shushed if you're talking through this
38:39You see, I'm in with all this
38:41I know how it all works
38:44No, you don't
38:45I don't
38:47I got Richard right, didn't I?
38:49Everybody did
38:56Yes!
38:57We've had two big players out of the game
38:59Julie's been banished and Bella's been murdered
39:01And they're still not on to the real traitors
39:05We live another day
39:06Did you think you were going?
39:08Yeah, I mean, I suppose at this stage there's reason for all of us to think we're going home other
39:12than you
39:13I know, they'd be mad
39:14Oh!
39:15Yeah, you just shut up, James Blunt
39:17You talk rubbish
39:19I'm clinging on with the edges of my fingernails
39:23You are clinging on because everyone's circling you like a shark, love
39:26I know that there is a lot of people who are very suspicious of me
39:30Well, what are you going to do about it, Anna?
39:32I think it's harsh that, you know, Hannah is being attacked for being an academic
39:37You know, I've suffered without myself in the past
39:40When?
39:42Last night at the round table, it was so hard to sit there and like have all these people write
39:47down my name
39:48Especially when I haven't done anything
39:50Like it's just, it's about who I am, not what I've done, you know what I mean?
39:54Ross is like polishing his head
39:55He's quite anxious about it all, isn't he?
39:58Yeah, he is
39:59If I could recruit anyone as a trade-arm, it would be you
40:03Oh! And why?
40:05I understand what you're saying, but we could say that about everybody
40:07Yeah, just because you're thick don't mean that you can't be recruited
40:11I wouldn't say it like that though
40:13Players, welcome to the round table
40:16Let's go, Claudia
40:19The floor is yours
40:20Bring on the fight
40:21Bring on the fight, then
40:24Erm, there's no surprise that I'm going to be talking to you, Hannah
40:28Oh!
40:29Straight in, straight in for the kill
40:32Yeah
40:32I just don't understand, how are you still here?
40:35I've heard that before
40:37We've all been sat around a table at work
40:39Yeah, yeah
40:40As a traitor, erm, you would be one of the first people that I would get out
40:45But also as a traitor, you would be extremely good because you're very smart
40:48Oh, yeah
40:49Right, you know what's happening here, Jane?
40:53Persecution for being intelligent
40:55I think so
40:56Looking back at the previous games, one pattern that came up
41:00Oh, here we go
41:01Is that traitors will often vote for somebody that nobody else is voting for
41:06Right
41:08What a girl!
41:10James, you voted for me
41:12Oh, she's turning the tables on James
41:14No, you're beautiful James Blunt
41:18Why would I come in as a traitor and be like
41:22Oh, and then look out for this thing and this thing and this thing and this thing
41:25Yeah
41:25And why would I do that?
41:27Because you're clever
41:27Well, the reason you would do it, Hannah, is to mislead and misdirect people
41:31Players, the time for talk is over
41:34Oh, my God, I'd say, Claudia, can we just have another five minutes?
41:38I'm just coming out with my best stuff here
41:40Yeah
41:41Romesh, we'll start with you
41:43Who do you believe is a traitor?
41:45Oh, I'd hate to go first
41:46I'm voting for you, James B
41:48Oh, it's James Blunt!
41:52Blunt!
41:52Yeah
41:53I know I voted for Hannah last night, but I've changed my mind on that
41:57I think she might have won the round
41:59Hang on, there's only one
42:00I don't know
42:01Gotta ask yourself the question
42:03Where are you now?
42:06Michael, who do you believe is a traitor?
42:08Er, I voted for Hannah
42:10Shit
42:11Oh, she bloody sat next to him
42:13Ross
42:14Going for Hannah
42:16Yikes, poor Hannah
42:19James Blunt
42:21I've put Hannah
42:22It's gonna be Hannah, it's not looking good for her, man
42:24No, James Blunt
42:26Kenny
42:26Er, no surprise, I've obviously put you Hannah
42:29We know where Kenny's going
42:30This is where
42:31Being too clever
42:32Don't do you no good
42:34I've had it all my life
42:35Oh my God
42:39Maya, who do you believe is a traitor?
42:41Maya, Maya, Maya
42:43Oh, what's Maya gonna put?
42:45I have put Hannah
42:49Ruthless
42:50Now you've done it again
42:51She is brilliant, I love her
42:53Oh no
42:54Yeah, I love her
42:55Joanne
42:56Er, I've actually voted for Bash
42:58Of course you have
42:59Of course you have
43:01Hasn't been in the conversation
43:02Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
43:04Yes
43:04I've gone for the big brain theory
43:08Hannah
43:09I'm with the faithful here
43:10Oh yeah, yeah
43:10You always said you wanted to be a faithful, didn't you?
43:13Yeah, yeah
43:14Go on, go on, go on
43:15Yeah
43:15James Acaster
43:16What's he, Paltz?
43:17It's gonna be Hannah
43:18Gone for Hannah
43:19Oh!
43:23Maya and James Acaster
43:25Performed quite the pincer movements on both of them
43:28Yeah
43:28There's blood in the water
43:31Door's shut
43:32Oh my goodness you guys
43:34This has been
43:35So much fun
43:37Ah
43:37But
43:38Oh I just got like that
43:39Up yours
43:41They voted me on
43:42Yeah
43:43I am
43:45Oh!
43:45I'm a fateful
43:49She's a fateful
43:52She's a traitor, isn't she?
43:54No, she's a fateful
43:55A
43:57Aaaaaaah
44:00Traitor
44:02Aaaaaaah
44:04Aaaaaaah
44:04You said she was a bloody fateful
44:06I thought she was a bloody traitor
44:09Aaaaaah
44:09Aaaaaah
44:11Aaaaaah
44:12Aaaaaah
44:12Aaaaaah
44:12Look at Maya
44:13Maya's properly hugging
44:15She's a genius honestly
44:17Yeah
44:17The way she's playing it is so good
44:19Yeah
44:19Yeah
44:20This has never happened
44:22Where it's literally one traitor in, another one out
44:25One traitor in, another one out
44:27It's like a revolving door
44:28I know
44:29To the turret
44:29They need to get a revolving door
44:31Put on that turret
44:32Yeah
44:33And it wasn't long before another faithful found themselves in a cloak
44:40Yes!
44:41Come on, Kenny
44:42Oh my God
44:44Yeah, man
44:44Flash off your hood
44:45He's gonna freak out
44:46He's gonna freak when he sees who's under those hoods
44:49Hello
44:49He's trying to work out who it is
44:52I need to see this
44:53This is lovely
44:54One, two, three
44:56This is lovely
44:57This is lovely
44:57One, two, three
44:57Oh!
44:59Oh!
45:00Mayet!
45:01He loves Mayet
45:02Oh!
45:04He's speechless
45:05Oh, shit. Yeah, he didn't know who the traitors were.
45:10Yeah.
45:12Fuckin' hell.
45:15No, this actually makes it really good.
45:19I think being a faithful was fun,
45:21but being a traitor is going to be better.
45:24He's switched, Natty.
45:26He's switched.
45:32He's even got an evil laugh now.
45:34Now, let's turn up, boy!
45:37So, now you're getting the gist of it,
45:41who were the traitors?
45:44James, Maya and Kenny.
45:46Get in there, yeah.
45:48I'm all right, I'm throaty.
45:50How long will they last, sir? How long?
45:52No, how long will you remember us?
45:54It's more power for me.
45:56I should have a book for this.
45:57Yeah, you should.
46:00Next week, Gogglebox will be standing up to cancer.
46:03If you've got a taste for Chelsea life after seeing it earlier,
46:07stream all the upper-class beef any time.
46:10Next tonight, The Last Leg is back.
46:13Apparently, Josh has got a new job,
46:15but I'm pretty sure they're not going to be mentioning it that much.
46:19The Last Leg is back.
46:25The Last Leg is back.
46:26The Last Leg is back.
46:26The Last Leg is back.
46:27The Last Leg is back.
46:28The Last Leg is back.
46:28The Last Leg is back.
46:29The Last Leg is back.
46:29The Last Leg is back.
46:29The Last Leg is back.
46:30The Last Leg is back.